Barely Surviving - TWD - Daryl Dixon
by masterpieceMCFLY
Summary: Cecilia's reality is turned upside down when she finds herself in a world invaded by dead people walking. There's danger and death awaiting in every corner, so for how long will she be able to keep alive? Will she be strong enough to survive this new world or will she slowly lose hope and give up?
1. Chapter 01 - Atlanta

"Confidence, courage and determined spirit are vital for surviving hard times."  
― Lailah Gifty Akita

"Shit, shit, shit!" I cursed a minute after we all heard gunshots close to where we were.

One member of our group took the binoculars and turned his attention to the streets as we all gathered on the edge of the rooftop of the building we were at.

Most people had similar reactions to mine, we were screwed, dead, now all of those things knew we were here.

"Give me the radio," the guy with the binoculars said to no one in particular.

"What for?" I asked suspiciously.

"I'm going to help him," he says simply, trying to hide how nervous he was.

"Are you crazy?" A blonde woman in her middle thirties, shouted at the Asian boy.

Nevertheless, the other woman of the group, Jacqui, reached for the radio and threw it at Glenn. I just shook my head and crossed my arms, not believing he was actually considering to do this.

"You are going to get us all killed," I told him before I walked away from him and joined this older man that was away from the group, not giving a shit about what they wanted to do.

"We're all screwed," he said to me but never looked up at me. I sighed.

"I know."

"Hey, you! Dumb ass, hey, you in the tank. Cozy in there?" I heard Glenn saying through the radio and I sighed again.

"You can't risk your life for a stranger! I shouted, trying to get some sense into Glenn, who was going to go out and rescue the idiot who was stuck inside the tank.

He said nothing, he just ignored me and walked past me and went down the stairs, followed by Andrea, T-Dog, Jacqui and Morales while I stayed on the roof with Merle, not wanting to see how my friends die.

Most people don't like Merle, he's a trouble maker and usually is offensive and rude towards others. He cares about no one but his younger brother and mostly himself. He's reckless and volatile and has quite a temper but I stand him because he had stood up for me, he comfronted my father a few times in the last month. Besides, if you get on his good side is your gain, better have him as an ally than an enemy.

"Not excited to meet our visitor?" He asked me, still not looking at me, his southern accent was very thick.

"If he ever gets to come inside I'll meet him," I say. "Eventually."

I sat against the wall as Merle continues to watch over the "sick" people who had invaded Atlanta, who had taken over our life and terrorize us in our dreams and reality. Who would knew I would run away, hide and be afraid of dead people, dead walking people, that is.

My thoughts were interrupted by a gunshot, followed by another. I stood up quickly and tried to stop Merle from shooting at the dead.

"What the hell are you doing?" I shouted.

"Let me be, girl," he said in an annoyed tone before he shot another one.

"Don't you see this is pointless? There are hundreds of them!"

"Hey, Dixon, are you crazy?!" Morales came through the door, screaming at Merle, followed by everyone else. Merle just chuckled and shot again.  
"Hey! Y'all be more polite to a man with a gun! Huh? Ah! Only common sense," he exclaimed turning around to face the group, raising his weapon a bit to emphasize the last past.

"Man, you're wasting bullets we ain't even got! And you're bringing even more of them down on our ass! Man, just chill," T-Dog exclaimed, jumping in front of him.  
"Bad enough I've got this taco-bender on my ass all day. Now I'm gonna take orders from you? I don't think so, bro. That'll be the day –"  
"That'll be the day? You got something you want to tell me?

"Hey, T-Dog man, just leave it," Morales said.  
"No!"  
"All right? It ain't worth it."

"Now Merle, just relax, okay? We've got enough trouble." Glenn told him.  
"You want to know the day?" Merle continued, obviously wanting to make everything worse than what it already was.

"Yeah," T-Dog said in an obvious tone.  
"I'll tell you the day, Mr. Yo." Merle said, doing a sign with his hand. "It's the day I take orders from a nigger."

"Oh shit," I exclaimed as T-Dog jumped over Merle but he hit him with the gun and both started to fight. All of them hurried towards the pair, the new guy even got a punch in the process, as everyone kept telling them to stop.

Merle kept punching and hitting poor T-dog as he lied on the floor, defenceless. Merle sat on him and took out a small pistol, that's when all of us froze.

"No, no! Please! Please!" Andrea begged but the rest of us kept quiet, being terrified as we watched Merle on top of T-Dog.

"Yeah! All right!" Merle exclaimed as he stood up, still pointing his gun at T-Dog. "We're gonna have ourselves a little powwow, huh? Talk about who's in charge. I vote me. Anybody else? Huh! Democracy time, y'all," Merle continued as T-Dog crawled away from Merle and the others approached him and helped him. "Show of hands, huh? All in favour? Huh? Come on. Let's see 'em." Merle said as he raised his left hand.

All of us just stared at him in disbelief, Glenn and Jacqui were kneelt next to T-Dog, Andrea and Morales were next to them on their feet and I was behind Merle, just shaking my head at his stupid behaviour. The new guy was right next to me with his hand over his jaw, where Merle punched him.  
"All in favour? Yeah, that's good." Merle kept talking as Jacqui raised her hand, with her middle finger up in the air, followed by Andrea. "Now that means I'm the boss, right? Yeah. Anybody else?Hmm? Anybody?" Merle was going to turn around to face when the new guy approached him and hit him on his head with the rifle, Merle fell to the ground. The new one quickly cuffed him to a pipe.

"Who the hell are you, man?!" Merle asked.

"Officer friendly. Look here, Merle, things are different now. There are no niggers anymore. No dumb-as-shit, inbred white-trash fools either. Only dark meat and white meat. There's us and the dead. We survive this by pulling together, not apart."  
"Screw you, man."  
"I can see you make a habit of missing the point."

"Yeah? Well, screw you twice." I just shook my head at Merle, who was being his stupid, stubborn, offensive self.

"Ought to be polite to a man with a gun," New Guy said as he pointed the gun at Merle's head. "Only common sense."

The new guy dressed in a sheriff uniform said something else to Merle before standing up and joining us, leaving Merle cuffed. The rest of us kept looking down at the streets full of dead people and T-Dog was trying to communicate with the rest of our group that stayed in our camp. Merle just kept yelling insult after insult.

"How's that signal?

"Like Dixon's brain, weak." T-Dog replied, glaring at Merle, who gave him the finger.  
"Keep trying."  
"Why? There's nothing they can do," I said, speaking for the first time in a while.  
"Got some people outside the city is all. There's no refugee centre. We're on our own," someone informed New Guy. "It's up to us to find a way out, she's right, they can't do anything to help us."  
"These streets ain't safe in this part of town from what I hear." Merle said, sounding much more calmer. "Ain't that right, sugar tits? Hey, honeybunch, what say you get me out of these cuffs, we go off somewhere and bump some uglies? Gonna die anyway."  
"I'd rather," Andrea said, not even looking at him.

"Just shut up, Merle," I exclaimed at him, getting tired of him and his attitude.

"Jealous, sweetheart?" he asked with a chuckle, now looking at me. "I don't usually go for little girls this young, but hey, it's the end of the world! I ain't complaining."

"Go to hell," I tell him, giving him the middle finger.

"Right, I forgot," he said suddenly, before I could stand up to get far from him.

"What?" I spat.

"You prefer my little brother, I gotta say you hurt my feelings, sweetheart!"

"Excuse me?"

"Oh come on! You share the tent with him, what else would you do in there? Just to..."

"That's enough, Merle!" I shouted at him for like the hundredth time today, he very well knew why I had been using his brother's tent.

The group had gone down into the building, trying to find a drainage tunnel or something else where we could escape, this time I joined them. I couldn't stand Merle for another minute.

Glenn and Morales went down a tunnel to see if it was safe while the rest of us went to the entrance, where several walkers were trying to break the glass doors.

"Hey, what's your name?" I asked after New Guy talked to Andrea and explained how the lock of her gun worked.

"Rick Grimes," he said, offering me his hand. "What's yours?"

"I'm Cecilia," I told him as I shook his hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too."

We both turned around to see Andrea looking at some of the jewellery that used to be for sale in here, apparently this was a cloth store. I had grabbed a shirt and a sweater before the chaos started.

"See something you like?" Rick asked Andrea as we both approached her.

"Not me, but I know someone who would."

"Amy?" I asked her.

She nodded. "My sister," she said informing Rick. "She's still such a kid in some ways. Unicorns, dragons. She's into all that stuff. But mermaids, they rule."

"Well, they do," I said grinning.

"Why not take it?" Rick asked her.

"There's a cop staring at me." Andrea said with a grin. "Would it be considered looting?"

"I don't think those rules apply anymore. Do you?" Rick said simply. I guess he was right.

Andrea smiled at Rick and me before taking the necklace with a mermaid as a pendant, I smiled back as I saw something pretty in the shelf, I shrugged and took it as well and as I did we heard the glass breaking.

We turned around and gasped as we saw those things breaking the first door and moving towards the next. We needed to leave now, there was no more time.

The group had come with a crazy plan and unfortunately I was part of it. I tried to refuse but I must think about the rest, this is not just about me.

"We are a team," Glenn said to me, I only nodded at him.

I closed my eyes as Rick cut the now dead-dead person we had captured. We had to put some coats on, cover them with the guts of this thing, go out into the street, Rick would go for a truck to rescue the rest, while Glenn and I were going to look for another car and be the distraction. I was just going because I'm as fast as Glenn and I can shoot, I was going just in case something happened.

The rest of them grabbed the guts and spread them on our coats, making me feel nauseous. The smell was horrible. I didn't vomit at first, but Glenn did, making me instantly vomit after him.

"Ready?" Morales asked us, we just nodded.

Morales opened the door, I took a deep breath before following Rick and Glenn out of the building, probably walking right into our deaths. Morales closed the door quickly, leaving us on just pure luck.

There were a few geeks in the alley, we carefully walked next to us, trying to walk like them, limping. Thank God no one attacked us.

The three of us got into the main street, hoping for the best. I was in between Glenn and Rick, who had axes in their hands, I had a small knife in mine. We continued to limp and walk funny and so far things were going alright. I guess Rick was correct about this "disguise", it was working! It was working!

But the happiness and bit of relief I had was washed away, almost literally as I heard thunder above me. Shit! Only a few seconds later I felt a drop on my face followed by a few more. We were more than screwed!

"The smell is washing off." I heard Glenn saying, starting to panic.

"No, it's not," Rick said right when one of the geeks stopped to smell Rick. "Well, maybe."

Another one smelled us and was over us, with its mouth open, Rick killed him with the axe as he shouted at us to run. He didn't need to say that twice. I sprinted away, followed by dozens of those things as the guys killed a few while they ran behind me. I climbed the fence in less than five seconds, I took off the gut-covered coat, threw it on the floor and got my gun out as Glenn and Rick were about to climb it as well, shooting every walker that tried to get them.

When I made sure they were okay, I ran away from the fence but stopped a few feet away. Rick took his gun out as well and started to shoot the geeks that were close to climb the fence, I did the same while Glenn looked for the key.

"Rick!" Glenn yelled and threw the key at Rick, who caught it and ran towards the truck. I walked backwards to it as I kept shooting.

Rick got inside on the driver's seat while Glenn did the same on the passenger's seat, followed by me, I had no choice but to seat on him.

Rick drove fast, away from there. I sighed in relief a few times before allowing myself to close my eyes for a few seconds, processing that we actually made it.

A couple of minutes later, Rick stopped the truck. We needed a second car to make a distraction. Rick found a red, nice-looking car and broke its window, making the alarm go off, perfect.

Rick got it to work, Glenn and I didn't waste a second to get inside as Rick ran towards the truck. Glenn started driving through the city as crazy, while I had the gun in my hand, ready to shoot at anything that came too close to us but at this speed none of the geeks would, at least for now.

"Those roll-up doors at the front of the store facing the street, meet us there and be ready," I spoke through a radio, letting the rest know our plan.

As we came closer to the building, Glenn drove slower, to make sure all the geeks would be after us and not Rick. Glenn stopped in the middle of the street and waited for the geeks to walk closer to us, I had my gun ready just in case. But Glenn hit the pedal and we were safe again, for now.

We did the same thing a few times until we were sure Rick had gotten the rest. We couldn't risk ourselves anymore so we both agreed to start driving back to camp and sure enough, in our way there, we saw the truck, already out of the city, on the highway.

"You better put your seatbelt on," Glenn said to me with a grin as he drove faster and faster, having all this road for ourselves. "Whohoo!"

I said nothing only chuckled at him as I put on my seatbelt and put the gun on my lap, enjoying the ride back to camp.


	2. Chapter 2 - Camp

"My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes."

― L.M. Montgomery

Naturally Glenn and I were the first ones to reach the camp. All of the people there approached us as soon as Glenn stopped the car. Dale shouted at us to turn the alarm off but we had no idea how. Jim was the one who finally disconnected the battery and thank God the sound stopped, I was starting to get a really bad headache.

"Are you crazy, driving this wailing bastard up here? Are you trying to draw every walker for miles?" Shame exclaimed, looking at the two of us like we were two small kids that did something really bad.

"I think we're okay," Dale told him.  
"You call being stupid okay?"

"Well, the alarm was echoing all over these hills. Hard to pinpoint the source. I'm not arguing, I'm just saying. It wouldn't hurt you to think things through a little more carefully next time, would it?" "Sorry." Glenn and I muttered.

"Cici!" I heard a soft, feminine voice. I turned around and saw my little sister running towards me. I smiled at her, I extended my arms and hugged her tightly. "I was so worried!"

"I'm good," I told her with a smile. "I promised I was coming back, didn't I?"

"Yeah," she said with a big smile.

When I let go of her I looked at the crowd and spotted my mother, she looked relieved and happy to see I was back. She approached me as well and gave me a quick but tight hug, which I returned. The both of them were happy I had come back but I wasn't so sure about my father, who was nowhere to be seen at the moment.

"I'm glad you are okay," she said to me, I only nodded at her with a smile.

"Got a cool car," Glenn said, trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work but then the van Rick got in Atlanta came into view. The rest of our group that went to Atlanta got out as soon as Rick parked it.

Amy ran to hug Andrea as soon as she saw her, pretty much what my sister did when she saw me. Morales was greeted by his wife and two kids, while Jacqui and T-Dog got out as well, with big smiles on their faces.

"I thought we had lost you folks for sure."  
"How'd y'all get out of there anyway?"

"New guy he got us out somehow," I replied with a shrug.  
"New guy?"

"Yeah, crazy vato just got into town," Morales said. "Hey, helicopter boy! Come say hello!"  
Then I saw Rick slowly getting out of the vehicle, he must be nervous about meeting the rest of us or he was just tired. I looked down at my sister and smiled at her as I saw her brown eyes looking back at me, filled with happy tears.

"Dad! Dad!"

I turned around to see Carl, a brown-haired boy, running towards Rick. Rick knelt and took the boy in his arms, Lori, Carl's mother, ran to them and the three embraced. I felt my heart warming up at the sight of them and seeing them reunite.

I had met Carl, Lori and Shane, a family friend, on the road as we were going to Atlanta. My sister and Carl were the same age and got along pretty well since the first time they met.

"Come here," I said to my sister and took her hand, walking towards the van. I looked inside for my backpack. "I got something for you."

"What?" she said excitedly as she saw me pulling out something from my backpack but I didn't let her see it yet.

"I thought you would like these," I said, grabbing her hand and putting what I got my sister on her opened palm.

She looked down at her hand and saw a pair of small dolphin earrings and a necklace with a silver dolphin hanging from it. She loved all kind of animals.

"I love it!" she squealed, making me chuckle at her.

She handed it to me again and asked me to help her put them on, so that's what I did. I put on the earrings first and then the necklace. She grinned at me and hugged me tightly around the waist.

"Thank you, Cici."

"You're welcome!" I said with a big grin on my slightly chapped lips. "I'm going for a nap, alright?"

"Okay."

I smiled at the few people that were still around as I made my way to the tent. I was more than exhausted, I almost died today and I think I hadn't been tired before because of all the adrenaline running through my veins but now it was all gone, leaving me very drained.

I took off my shoes right before walking into the tent. I lied on my blue sleeping bag that was on the left side of the tent. I closed my eyes and instantly remembered what Merle said to me on that rooftop about this tent.

" _Jealous, sweetheart?I don't usually go for little girls this young, but hey, it's the end of the world! I ain't complaining."_

" _Go to hell."_

" _Right, I forgot."_

" _What?"_

" _You prefer my little brother, I gotta say you hurt my feelings, sweetheart."_

"Excuse me?"

" _Oh come on! You share the tent with him, what else would you two do in there?"_

I opened my eyes quickly as I tried to remember what happened only minutes ago. Glenn and I came back, Andrea got out, T-Dog, Jaqcui, Morales, Rick... Merle? I didn't see him. Shit, where is he? Didn't he even come with us?

I slept more than what I wanted, when I woke up it was already dark outside. I saw the group sat by a fire, Rick was with his wife and son. Andrea, Amy, Dale, Shane, Glenn, T-Dog and Jacqui were all in a circle.

Next to me, I saw three people next to another fire, my family. I frowned as I made my way to them, not knowing if I should join everyone else or my family.

"Hey, Ed, you want to rethink that log?" Shane said to my father, just as I was halfway there.

"It's cold, man," He complaint.  
"The cold doesn't change the rules, does it? Keep our fires low, just embers – so we can't be seen from a distance, right?"

"I said it's cold. You should mind your own business for once," He spat.  
"Hey, Ed," Shane said calmly as he walked towards him and stopped right in front of him. "Are you sure you want to have this conversation, man?"

"Go on. Pull the damn thing out. Go on!" he ordered my mother, who obviously did as she was told.

"Hey, Carol, Sophia, how are y'all this evening?" Shane asked as he knelt next to my sister.

"Fine. We're just fine," my mother replied, by now Rick, Carl and Lori had already spotted me as I watched the scene in front of me.  
"Okay."

"I'm sorry about the fire..." my mother said weakly.  
"No no no," Shane said, interrupting her. "No apology needed. Y'all have a good night, okay?"

"Thank you," my mum whispered.  
"I appreciate the cooperation, Ed," Shane said sarcastically to my father who just glared at Shane, and that's when I decided to join Shane and the others, I sat next to Amy, who looked sadly at me, just like Glenn and I felt a bit uncomfortable.

"Have you given any thought to Daryl Dixon? He won't be happy to hear his brother was left behind," Dale said suddenly, making my suspicions correct. They left Merle on that rooftop.

"I'll tell him. I dropped the key. It's on me," T-Dog said.

"You dropped the key?" I asked, wondering why he just couldn't pick it up.  
"Yeah, on a drain," he whispered.

"Oh."

"I cuffed him. That makes it mine," Rick said.  
"Guys, it's not a competition. I don't mean to bring race into this, but it might sound better coming from a white guy," Glenn said.  
"I did what I did. Hell if I'm gonna hide from him," T-Dog exclaimed.  
"We could lie," Amy proposed.  
"Or tell the truth," Andrea told her. "Merle was out of control. Something had to be done or he'd have gotten us killed. Your husband did what was necessary and if Merle got left behind, it is nobody's fault but Merle's."  
"Would you really tell that to Daryl?" I asked her in disbelief. "That can't end in a good way."

"Cici's right. I don't see a rational discussion to be had from that, do you?" Dale said, Andrea just rested her head against her hands. "Word to the wise, we're going to have our hands full when he gets back from his hunt."

That's why he lets me use his tent. He's almost always away, he barely uses it and nobody else has extra room for me and I refuse to stay in the same tent with my family. I think he feels pity for me, because for sure it's not because he cares, he only cares about himself and Merle.  
"I was scared and I ran. I'm not ashamed of it," T-Dog continued.  
"We were all scared. We all ran. What's your point?" Andrea asked him.

"I stopped long enough to chain that door. Staircase is narrow, maybe half a dozen geeks can squeeze against it at any one time. It's not enough to break through that, not that chain, not that padlock. My point Dixon's alive and he's still up there, handcuffed on that roof. That's on us."

We all just stared at him as he talked, when he finished he got up and left us all to our thoughts. Merle could still be alive on that rooftop.

Even when I wanted to say something, and I'm sure I wasn't the only one, I didn't say another word and no one else did. The silence that followed was pretty awkward and I wished I could find a way to break it.

Andrea and Amy sighed next to me, Amy hugged me before the two sisters stood up and walked to their tent.

"It's time for you to go to bed," Lori said to Carl, who was almost asleep. Rick said good-night before picking him up and taking him to their tent, Lori followed him.

One by one, they left to go to sleep, leaving just Glenn and me. I stared at the fire, wanting to stay a bit longer to warm myself a bit.

"You okay?" he asked me.

"I'm good," I told him with a small smile. "We almost died today but we're both fine. It was a tough and complicated day with a good outcome"

"Yeah, we had quite a scare. I really thought we were all going to die."

"For a moment I thought so too," I admitted. "When you went on that tunnel, I was with Rick and Andrea and the geeks broke the glass, I thought it was only a matter of time."

"What about when it started raining and the smell was washing away?" Glenn said with a chuckle, now having a laugh of what happened earlier.

"Damn, that was the most stupid, dangerous and worst thing I have ever done, so disgusting! Don't ever tell anyone I did that!"

"I did it too, so it doesn't matter." He shrugged.

Another small, but this time not awkward silence followed. I got closer to the fire, I was shivering a bit.

"You could stay with me tonight, you know?" Glenn said out of nowhere, making me look up at him in surprise.

"Thanks, but I'm good," I said smiling at him. "Daryl won't be back by tonight, I'm sure."

"Teresa and Oliver won't be back by tonight either," Glenn said to me, ignoring what I just said.

Teresa and Oliver have been my friends for around two years now. I met Teresa at school and a few weeks later she started dating Oliver, the three of us became really close and the three of us shared an apartment. They are currently staying with Glenn in his tent, leaving no space for me, so I had to either sleep with my family or sleep in the open, I chose the open, Daryl noticed and offered his tent for me to sleep in. It had only been a few times we had actually been in the tent together. The two of them were away on a run, they should be back tomorrow by noon.

"Don't you trust Daryl?"

"No, I don't," he admitted. "And it's not even because of that that I don't want you in that tent, what if something happens and you are alone?"

"I can take care of myself," I said in a duh tone.

"How come I didn't know you could shoot?" Glenn asked me.

"Keep your voice down!" I exclaimed as I lowered my own voice. "No one can know I have a gun and that I can use it."

"I do now and Rick as well and probably Morales, Andrea T-Do..."

"It doesn't matter, I don't want the rest to know," I said sternly. "And please don't tell. When the time comes and I hope it doesn't happen soon, I won't hesitate to use it and people will know but for now, I want to keep it a secret."

"Alright," Glenn said. "Will you tell me why?"

"Not tonight but I will, eventually."

"Fair enough."

"So," I said after a short silence. "Why don't you trust Daryl?"

"The question here is, why do you trust him?"

"He hasn't done anything to make me doubt him," I said simply as I shrugged my shoulders. "What about you?"

"He's antisocial and..."

"That's not a good excuse," I interrupted him.

"He could silently put an arrow on my head," he continued. "He's unpredictable and he's a man, Cici!"

"So? You are a man as well!"

"I mean, you are sharing the tent with him, what if he tries something?"

"So, that's what this is about?" I asked in disbelief. I couldn't believe him. "He just thinks I'm a silly, defenceless girl and..."

"Exactly!" he exclaimed, raising his voice a bit.

"I'm fine, Glenn! Like I said, I can take care of myself."

I met Glenn when this camp was made, I don't even remember how we first talked but we had an instant connection and became friends right away, I could even call him my best friend now, apart from Oliver and Teresa.

We usually go on runs together, since we are the fastest and I don't like being in camp all day. I need to go out and at least run around to relieve stress. We depend on each other out there and we have to trust the other, every time we go on a run, our friendship becomes stronger and we are close to age, so we can relate, kind of.

Another person that has gotten close to me is Amy, she's only about four years older than me and she seems to understand me. She's also really nice and we have lots of things in common that we can talk about.

There are a few persons though, that I barely know. Merle and Daryl are two of those people. I don't know much about Jim or T-Dog or Morales or Shane either but at least they are nice to people unlike the Dixon brothers.

"I had lied on the ground next to the burnt wood on the fourth night," I told Glenn who seemed to be a bit upset at me. "I couldn't sleep because I kept hearing noises and thought there were geeks out there. I don't know how much time passed but Daryl came from hunting and he saw me there, I think he was a bit concerned about my well being and my sanity." I chuckled.

"We are all worried about your sanity," Glenn said, letting a smile creep on his lips.

"Oh shut up!" I said hitting him on his arm. "Anyway, he asked me what the hell was wrong with me, I didn't give him any detail but he seemed to understand, you know?" I told Glenn, looking at him for a second before looking back at the fire. "He said I could use his tent since he barely used it, I couldn't see anything wrong or bad about it so I followed him inside his tent, carrying my sleeping bag. That was one of the few nights we had been in there together and believe me when I tell you that he won't try anything. He's usually so tired he just gets into his sleeping bag and falls asleep right away."

"I still worry," Glenn told me.

"Well, don't. I'll be fine," I assured him. "Let's go, it's getting late and quite cold and the fire is dying."

Glenn stood up quickly and helped me up. Before I went in the direction of Daryl's tent he tried to convince me to spend the night with him but once again I refused. What if Teresa and Oliver come back and they both need their "beds"? And if they do, they will for sure think something happened between Glenn and I and I don't need that kind of drama in my life right now.

"Good-night, Glenn."

"Good-night, Cici."

Please tell me what you guys think! :)


	3. Chapter 3 - Vultures

"She wanted to ask him why they were all strangers who shared the same last name."  
― Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie,

I woke up the next day to find Glenn standing right in front of the red car we kind of stole, while three men were getting pieces from it. I went to stand next to him, knowing he was upset about it.

" Look at them," Glenn said to me. "Vultures."

"That was our car!" I exclaimed sadly.  
"Yeah, go on, strip it clean," Glenn exclaimed to Dale, who was one of the three men.  
"Generators need every drop of fuel they can get. Got no power without it," Dale explained.  
"Sorry, Glenn," I said and put an arm on his shoulder. "There must be more around, you know? We could get another one someday."  
"Thought I'd get to drive it at least a few more days." Glenn said sadly.  
"I didn't even get to drive it," I said shrugging before I walked away.

I could see Lori and Rick talking in the distance, they didn't look that happy to be honest, I also could see Shane driving back on his jeep, he had brought water for the group.

"Water's here, y'all. Just a reminder to boil before use," he said as he parked the jeep.

Everyone was doing their jobs and it was a really calmed morning, probably because both, Merle and Daryl weren't around.

I sighed, I felt a bit bad and guilty about Merle, we should go back and get him. I was thinking about how I could bring it up to the rest as I heard two different people screaming, Carl and Sophia.

"Sophia!" I shouted as I ran to the place where I heard the screams. Lori, Rick, my mother and some other people were running there as well.

I took my knife out as I ran since I left my gun under my sleeping bag. I ran even faster when I kept hearing the two kids screaming for us.

Carl ran into her mother's arms while Sophia ran to me, I wrapped my arms around her thin body since it was me who got there before our mother.

"Are you okay?" I asked her, kneeling in front of her. Lori asked Carl if he was bitten or scratched and I asked the same to Sophia.

"No," she whispered in a terrified tone, she was shaking.

"You sure?"

"Sophia, what happened?" I heard my mum behind me asking. Sophia got out of my grip and ran towards her, crying into her chest. My mum held her tightly.

"I think she's just frightened," I told her. "I'll be right back."

I followed the rest of the group into the wood, Amy and Andrea were right behind me. I lowered my pace when I saw the men standing around something. I stood right next to Rick and saw what the problem was, one of those things was eating a deer, which had two arrows on its side. Andrea and Amy gasped when they saw it.

The male geek probably heard and smelled us because he stopped eating and stood up, facing us. I raised my knife, getting ready to kill it. The male geek lunged at me but before I could stab him, Rick hit him with something and then everyone else starting to hit him as well, except for me, Amy and Andrea.

The geek fell to the floor and Glenn, Dale, Shane, Rick, Morales and Jim kept hitting him but it seemed like it had no effect on him. They kept at it until Dale cut his head off with an axe.

"It's the first one we've had up here," Dale spoke up. "They never come this far up the mountain."  
"Well, they're running out of food in the city, that's what."Shane said.

Then we heard some noise deeper into the woods, some footsteps and branches snapping. What if there are more of those things? I raised my arm again, holding the knife tightly. Everyone raised their weapons as well, Shane being the only one that had a rifle.

I followed the noise with my eyes until the source revealed itself, it was Daryl. I sighed in relief and lowered my hand when I saw the blue-eyed man, walking towards us, carrying his crossbow.

"Oh, Jesus." Shane muttered.  
"Son of a bitch!" Daryl exclaimed as he saw the deer and the body and head of the geek next to the animal. "That's my deer! Look at it, all gnawed on by this filthy – disease-bearing – motherless – poxy – bastard!" he said each word as he kicked the body.

"Calm down, son," Dale said."That's not helping."

"What do you know about it, old man? Why don't you take that stupid hat and go back to 'On Golden Pond'? I've been tracking this deer for miles! Gonna drag it back to camp, cook us up some venison," he informed us. "What do you think? Do you think we can cut around this chewed up part right here?" he asked, turning to look at us.

"I would not risk that," Shane said.  
"That's a damn shame," Daryl said with a sigh. "I got some squirrel, about a dozen or so. That'll have to do."

It was then when we heard moaning again, we looked at the head, which was opening its mouth, wanting to eat us.  
"Oh God!" Any exclaimed, covering her mouth with her hands. Andrea quickly pulled her away and both walked back to camp.  
"Come on, people, what the hell?" Daryl exclaimed as he grabbed his crossbow, pointed at the head and shot it right in the eye, he approached it and took his arrow back. "It's gotta be the brain. Don't y'all know nothing?"

And with that he walked away, Rick just looked at him a bit surprised by his act. He didn't even notice there was someone new among us, typical.

"That's Daryl," I informed him. "Merle's brother."

He nodded at me, I tensed a bit just thinking about his reaction about what happened to Merle. He wasn't going to take it well, that's for sure.

"Merle! Merle!" I could hear Daryl calling his brother, I tensed even more as we all walked after him. "Get your ugly ass out here! I got us some squirrel! Let's stew 'em up."  
"Daryl, just slow down a bit," Shane said to him. "I need to talk to you."  
"About what?"

"About Merle. There was a – There was a problem in Atlanta."  
"He dead?"

"We're not sure," Shane said honestly.  
"He either is or he ain't!" Daryl spat.

"No easy way to say this, so I'll just say it," Rick said, speaking for the first time since Daryl got back.  
"Who are you?" Daryl asked, finally noticing the new guy.

"Rick Grimes."  
"Rick Grimes," Daryl repeated mockingly. "You got something you want to tell me?"

"Your brother was a danger to us all, so I handcuffed him on a roof, hooked him to a piece of metal. He's still there."  
"Hold on," Daryl said. "Let me process this. You're saying you handcuffed my brother to a roof and you left him there?!"

"Yeah."

Daryl just looked at Rick for two seconds like he was going to murder him before throwing the squirrels at him and attempting to actually murder him when Shane got in the way and pushed Daryl to the ground. Amy stood next to me as we watched.  
"Watch the knife!" someone yelled as Daryl took out his knife.

Daryl tried to hurt Rick but he was a cop, he had probably been in that situation more than once. Rick and Shane got hold of him and took the knife from him.

"You'd best let me go!" Daryl exclaimed.

"Nah, I think it's better if I don't," Shane said to him.  
"Choke hold is illegal,"  
"You can file a complaint," Shane said sarcastically. "We'll keep this up all day."  
"I'd like to have a calm discussion on this topic," Rick said calmly as he knelt beside the defenceless man. "Do you think we can manage that? Hmm? Do you think we can manage that?"  
"Yeah."

Shane let go of him and pushed him to the ground, I wanted to intervene and help him but I knew it was better if I just stayed out of this.  
"What I did was not on a whim," Rick told him, kneeling next to Daryl again, who hadn't stood up. "Your brother does not work and play well with others."

"It's not Rick's fault." We heard T-Dog speaking up. "I had the key. I dropped it."  
"You couldn't pick it up?"

"He dropped it in a drain," I said after I noticed no one was saying anything, that earned me a glare from Daryl, who was finally standing up.  
"If it's supposed to make me feel better, it doesn't," he said, glaring at me for a second before turning to look at Rick, T-Dog and Shane again.  
"Well, maybe this will," T-Dog told him. "Look, I chained the door to the roof. So the geeks couldn't get at him. With a padlock."  
"It's gotta count for something," I spoke up again, earning another glare and again I regretted opening my mouth but apparently I couldn't keep it shut.

Everyone stayed quiet. Daryl glared at everyone else before he ran his hand under his eyes, probably wiping away some tears.  
"Hell with y'all!" he shouted. "Just tell me where he is so I can go get him."  
"He'll show you," Lori said, speaking for the first time, everyone turned their attention to her. "Isn't that right?"

"I'm going back," Rick told us.

After that an awkward and long silence followed, Lori walked into the RV, Daryl walked away and Rick started to walk in the other direction, going straight to his tent to get ready.

About half an hour later Rick came out of the tent. Shane was waiting for him and they started to have an argument, it was obvious by the looks on their faces.  
"Could you throw me a bone here, man? Could you just tell me why?" Shane said, following Rick. "Why would you risk your life for a douche bag like Merle Dixon?"

"Hey, choose your words more carefully," Daryl said, who was close to them.  
"No, I did, douche bag's what I meant," Shane said to Daryl. "Merle Dixon, the guy wouldn't give you a glass of water, if you were dying of thirst."  
"What he would or wouldn't do doesn't interest me. I can't let a man die of thirst, me," Rick told Shane. "Thirst and exposure."

"We can't just leave him there," I told Shane, taking a few steps towards them. "Not even him deserves that and even if he does, I wouldn't be able to live with that on my conscience."

"We left him like an animal caught in a trap. That's no way for anything to die, let alone a human being," Rick said and by his tone, it meant it was final.

"So you and Daryl, that's your big plan?" Lori asked Rick, who just turned to look at Glenn.

"Oh, come on!" he exclaimed, closing his eyes and shaking his head in disbelief.  
"You know the way. You've been there before, in and out, no problem. You said so yourself. It's not fair of me to ask I know that, but I'd feel a lot better with you along. I know she would too," Rick said looking at Lori for a second.  
"That's just great," Shane said. "Now you're gonna risk three men, huh?"

"Four," T-Dog exclaimed.

"And a girl," I said, looking at Shane and then at Rick and Glenn. "Both Glenn and I had been there so many times before, you'll need me."  
"My day just gets better and better, don't it?" Daryl exclaimed with fake excitement.

"You see anybody else here stepping up to save your brother's cracker ass?" T-Dog said to Daryl. "Why you?"

"You wouldn't even begin to understand. You don't speak my language."  
"That's five."  
"It's not just five," Shane exclaimed. "You're putting every single one of us at risk. Just know that, Rick. Come on, you saw that walker. It was here. It was in camp. They're moving out of the cities. They come back, we need every able body we've got. We need 'em here. We need 'em to protect camp."  
"It seems to me what you really need most here – are more guns," Rick told him.  
"Right, the guns," Glenn said.  
"Six shotguns, two high-powered rifles, over a dozen handguns," Rick started explaining to Shane. "I cleaned out the cage back at the station before I left. I dropped the bag in Atlanta when I got swarmed. It's just sitting there on the street, waiting to be picked up."  
"Ammo?" Shane asked, looking a bit tempted now.

"Seven hundred rounds, assorted."  
Then Lori spoke up, telling him it wasn't worth it. Rick and Lori started to argue, while the rest us, Carl included, just watched them argue.  
"I need that bag," Rick told her.

Lori just looked at him in disbelief and then dropped her head, knowing she wouldn't win the argument. Rick just walked away as none of them said another word. I guess we are on our way back to Atlanta.

"All ready," Glenn said as I threw my bag inside the van. I had my knife and gun with me, in the waistband of my jeans. T-dog was already sat inside the vehicle and Daryl was standing next to it, we were just waiting for Rick.

"Cici." I turned around to see my little sister staring at me with pleading eyes. "Please don't go, please."

"Sophia." I sighed. "I'll be back soon, we'll just go to that building, get Merle, and get back, that's it. We won't do anything else and see who's going, Rick, T-Dog, Daryl, Glenn, I will be fine."

"I would feel better if you stay this time."

"Mum is here, she'll take care of you," I said and got inside the back part of the van.

"Please," she begged and when I looked at her I noticed tears were forming in her brown eyes, I sighed.

"Why do you want me to stay? You know that I always go and come back, don't I?"

"I have a bad feeling, please stay."

I took a deep sigh, I looked at T-Dog, who only shrugged at me and then at Daryl, who just dropped his gaze, pretending he wasn't watching and listening to us.

"Fine," I finally said, grabbing my backpack and giving it to Sophia as I climbed out of the van. I turned to Daryl, he looked a bit disappointed but at the same time he looked relieved which was weird but I couldn't be sure because his face turned emotionless before I blinked my eyes. "Tell Rick I won't go." Daryl just nodded. "Be safe, okay?"

I grabbed my bag from Sophia's hand and threw it inside Daryl's tent, I also hid my gun under my sleeping bag but I kept my knife just in case another geek was around.

I turned around and sighed as I saw the van leaving, I'm an adventurous kind of girl and I usually like to be involved in the runs but I guess Sophia needs me more than Merle and Daryl.

About an hour later, Andrea, Amy, Jacqui and my mother went down to the lake to do the laundry, that's another reason why I like going away, if I go I don't really have to wash my clothes, my mum does it for me but since I'm here now I guess I have to clean the clothes I worn yesterday.

I sat in the middle of the group, Andrea and Amy were to my right and my mother and Jacqui to my left. Shane and Carl were on the other side of the lake trying to catch frogs, it was stupid but I wish I could join them.

"How could this be fair?" I asked out loud, as I saw my father sitting on our family Cherokee, he does nothing but sit on his ass all day.

"The world ended." Amy told me. "Didn't you get the memo?"

"It's just the way it is," my mother added.

"How can you just accept that? We're not slaves, it's not just the way it is."

Andrea nodded at me but none of the women there replied to me, they just kept washing the clothes. I sighed and said nothing else either, all I want is to be done with this and go back to the tent, maybe I could take a nap or something before Daryl comes back.

"I do miss my maytag," my mother told us after a minutes of silence.  
"I miss my Benz, my sat nav," Andrea added.  
"I miss my coffee-maker with that dual-drip filter and built-in grinder, honey," Jacqui said, closing her eyes, probably tasting the flavour again in her mind.  
"My computer," Amy said. "And texting."

"Hot baths," I said as I nodded at Amy because I also missed my computer.  
"I miss my vibrator," Andrea suddenly said, making all of us gape at her and laugh at her. I would have agreed with her but my mum was right next to me, that would be awkward.  
"Oh my God!" her sister exclaimed.

"Me too," my mother said quietly, everyone let out laughs while I just stared at her in shock, okay, this is pretty awkward. Damn.  
"I didn't need to know that," I mutter under my breath. "Ewww!"

"Hey, what's so funny?" My father called from a few feet away from us, he had finally given his ass a rest as he was not longer sat on it. He was smoking a cigarettes and his face didn't show any kind of smile.

"Just swapping war stories, Ed," Andrea told him.

My father slowly made his way to us as he continued to smoke. He stopped right behind us. I closed my eyes and waited for the demands and insults. I had tried to work on my tolerance and attempt to not interfere but sometimes it's just not so possible.  
"Problem, Ed?" Andrea asked him, obviously uncomfortable with his presence.

"Nothing that concerns you," he told her. "And you ought to focus on your work. This ain't no comedy club."

 _Excuse me!_

Andrea apparently had enough of him just being rude and standing right behind us like a creep. She stood up and took a few steps towards him.  
"Ed, tell you what, you don't like how your laundry is done, you are welcome to pitch in and do it yourself," Andrea exclaimed and threw a shirt to him. "Here."

My father only looked even more upset and in just a second he forcefully threw it back at her.  
"Oh!"

"Ain't my job, missy," he spat.

"Andrea, don't," I warned her.

About two weeks after we got here to this mountain, I was washing my own clothes as today when my father came to me and demanded me to do his laundry as well. I told him I was old enough to only do mine and not obey him, he raised his hand to hit me, he did it a couple of times until Merle got in between me and him and stopped him from hitting me. That's why I respect Merle, that's why I don't hate him as everyone else here does. He saved me that day and I will never forget that.  
"What is your job, Ed? Sitting on your ass smoking cigarettes?"

"Well, it sure as hell ain't listening to some uppity smart-mouthed bitch. Come on," he said the last to my mother.

My mother slowly stood up and I just rolled my eyes at her. I hated seeing this and feeling so helpless about these situations.

"Let's go!"

"I don't think she needs to go anywhere with you, Ed," Andrea told him. She's a brave but a bit stupid woman, sometimes it's better to just not get in the middle of it.  
"And I say it's none of your business," my father snap to Andrea. "Come on now. You heard me."  
"Carol," Andrea said, putting her hand on my mother's shoulder, trying to stop her. My mother just kept telling her it was alright and that she had to go. By now all of us were on our feet.

"Hey, don't think I won't knock you on your ass just 'cause you're some college-educated cooze, all right?" Andrea gasped in disbelief. "Now you come on now or you gonna regret it later."  
"So she can show up with fresh bruises later, Ed?" Jacqui told him, speaking for the first time. "Yeah, we've seen them."  
He just laughed at her. "Stay out of this. Now come on! You know what? This ain't none of y'all's business. You don't want to keep prodding the bull here, okay? Now I am done talking. Come on!"  
I stayed in the back of the group, trying not to be noticed as I stared sadly at the scene in front of me. I had witnessed it so many times throughout my life and let me tell you, it never gets better.

My father grabbed my mother's arm and started to pulled her with him. Andrea and Jacqui mostly tried to stop her from going. I wanted to help as well, my blood was boiling knowing there would be new bruises by dinner time but I couldn't do anything.

And sure enough, my father lost his patience and slapped my mother right in her face. Andrea lost it and started hitting his chest and in that moment something snapped inside of me. I wasn't controlling my actions anymore. I stood forward and started to yell at my father and actually pushed him.

"You ungrateful little brat!" He shouted at me and slapped me as well.

The slap was strong enough to make me stumble a bit but not to make me fall to the ground but to my luck or actually lack of it, my foot landed on a rock, I lost my balance and fell, I don't know what exactly happened but after that everything turned black.

*Enjoy!*


	4. Chapter 04 - Invaded

"The whole thing is quite hopeless, so it's no good worrying about tomorrow. It probably won't come."  
\- J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King

It was already dark when Rick, Daryl, Glenn and T-Dog got close to where the camp was settled. They had had luck with the guns but all that was left of Merle was his hand. Daryl was devastated, he shed a tear or two but composed himself soon after, but that didn't mean losing his brother didn't deeply hurt him.

They all stopped dead in their tracks when they heard people screaming and gunshots. The four of them then sprinted to the camp where they found a horrible sight.

The camp had been invaded by the dead. They had killed and attempted to eat a few of the members of the group but at the moment they couldn't be sure who was alive, who wasn't and who was alive but had been bitten.

Daryl wasted no time to use one of the guns they had gotten from Atlanta and killing one of those things Rick took one of the rifles he had brought back as well and started to shoot, just as Daryl.

Everything was a complete chaos. There were women screaming, kids crying, men shooting and the dead trying to have dinner.

They weren't sure how many of those things had invaded camp but eventually they all were killed. Carl ran crying to his dad, who wrapped him tightly in his arms.

Carol held Sophia as the young girl cried in her arms. The rest were still looking for more walkers, their weapons ready just in case.

"Cici?" Glenn asked, looking around, noticing she wasn't around. "Where is she?"

"Where the hell is she?" Daryl shouted and demanded for the answer since Glenn kept asking and no one seemed to even put attention to him.

"She's in the RV, I think," Teresa replied.

Teresa and Oliver had come back earlier today, around lunch time. They had brought some canned food and useful things, like toilet paper and soap.

Glenn ran inside the RV to check if she was there. He couldn't explain how happy and relieved he was when he saw her, lying on the couch but soon after that, those feelings vanished when he saw a bloody bandage wrapped around her head. He fear she had been bitten and he felt hot tears filling his eyes. He ran out of the RV and went straight to Carol.

"What happened?"

"I don't know," she cried, thinking he was talking about the camp being invaded.

Everyone looked at Glenn, tears were threatening to fall out of his dark brown eyes and she was shouting at Carol, who still had a shaking Sophia in her arms.

All of the people there thought there was someone dead inside the RV and by Glenn's reaction and him storming right to Carol it could only meant Cecilia.

Rick was busy with Carl and Lori, who wouldn't stop crying and shaking, T-Dog had an arm wrapped around Jacqui and the others also were around their relatives, holding them closely and comforting them so Daryl noticed he was the only one with no one to protect so he slowly made his way inside the RV, he spotted a young blonde girl lying unconscious on the couch. He noticed the bandage as well and thought the same as Glenn, she had been bitten but it was a strange place to be bitten, maybe she was just scratched and he also wondered why she had a bandage, the attack only happened minutes ago, maybe she was attacked earlier today and no one could put her down.

Daryl showed no emotions towards the group but he did care and hated when someone was killed, and he felt deeply sadden to lose someone so young and brave-hearted as Cecilia.

Slowly he walked out of the RV to find the scene hadn't changed that much, Glenn had knelt in front of Carol, still demanding for answers.

"What happened to her?"

"She wasn't bitten, if that's what you think," Oliver spoke and suddenly everyone felt relieved, especially Glenn and Daryl. "She only had a concussion."

"So, this girl can escape from a city infested with geeks without a single injury and she gets a concussion by staying at camp?" Glenn exclaimed, chuckling to himself, mostly out of relief she wasn't bitten or anything.

"I think she should tell you what happened," Teresa said, noticing everyone had their attention on them. Glenn just nodded. "Not us."

Cecilia's POV

I woke up feeling really disorientated. My eyesight was blurry and I had a killing headache. I sat up to only make it all worse.

"Shit," I murmured, closing my eyes again and putting a hand over the bridge of my nose.

I noticed it was night time and everything was so quiet, it must be really late. I also noticed I wasn't in a tent, by the way this looks, I could only be in Dale's RV, but where is he?

I stood up, grunting. I felt really dizzy and I stumbled but I found my balance and got out of the RV. The scene in front of me was not something I would ever expect. There were bodies everywhere, geeks and members of our group. I watched in sorrow, fearing the worst. Did everyone die?

My answer was answered when I heard a woman's cries. It was Andrea. I approached her quickly, she looked up at me in absolute fear, thinking I was one of those creatures, she pointed her gun at me but lowered it when she realized it was just me.

"What happened?" I asked, she just cried.

I got even closer to her and noticed she was crying over a body, Amy's body, which was covered in blood. She had been bitten on the neck and the arm.

"Andrea, I'm so sorry," I said softly, feeling my eyes filling with tears. "Are you okay? Were you bitten?"

"No," she choked out.

I wanted to stay with her but I wasn't sure if she needed company or just some space. I wasn't feeling well. I actually felt really tired and confused and still really disorientated, especially after what I found.

"I'm going to bed, if you need anything you know where to find me," I told her and walked to my tent.

I unzipped the tent and as soon as I did I could see a figure inside, sitting up in a second and pointing their weapon at me. I froze in place, holding my breath. What is it with everybody pointing their guns at me?

"Damn it, Cecilia!" the person exclaimed at me, by his southern accent I could tell it was Daryl, it was his tent so it was obvious he was in there, I just didn't assume he had come back already.

"I'm sorry," I muttered. "Can I come in?"

"Whatever," he muttered in his sleepy voice and lied down again.

I took off my shoes and left them outside the tent, I zipped it after I had stepped inside of it. I quietly tip-toed to my sleeping bag and lied down without saying another word.

"Did you find Merle?" I asked, not being able to keep my mouth shut. I hoped he had fallen back asleep and I actually thought he was, because he said nothing for a while.

"No," he said simply in an annoyed tone.

"I'm sorry."

"The bastard cut his fucking hand." Now his voice became angry. "I guess only Merle can kill Merle."

I was in shock, I really didn't expect what Daryl was telling me. I actually didn't even expect Daryl to be telling me this, he usually doesn't talk to anyone and if he does he keeps his sentences short.

"And what happened to you? You missed all the fun," Daryl said sarcastically.

I turned around on my other side to face him but I was met by his back. I sighed, trying to remember what had happened but I wasn't quite sure.

"I don't know to be honest. I just woke up and don't really remember much," I told him. "I remember I was by the lake and there was an argument but that's it."

"Everyone thought you were bit or scratched," he told me, I was really surprised we were having such a long and nice conversation. "Glenn almost shit his pants."

I chuckled. "I can imagine."

Then he turned around, facing me. He grabbed his flashlight and pointed it at my face, making me go blind for a couple of seconds, I closed them quickly, feeling my headache getting slightly worse. "Hey!"

"What happened?" he asked again not even apologizing for what he just did. He almost looked concerned.

"I don't remember," I said shrugging, as he kept looking at my injury on my right side of the head, just next to my eye.

Then he turned to look at the other side of my face, around my cheek. He lifted his free hand and softly touched it.

"Ouch!" I flinched back, only noticing now how much it hurt.

"You got a bruise there," he simply stated. "It's turning purple."

I got a quick flashback of my father hitting my mum and then of me running to him but not more than that.

"I'm going to ask Jacqui tomorrow," I said, knowing that I couldn't ask Andrea and much less Amy about what had happened and I didn't really want to ask my mother.

I could tell Daryl wanted to keep interrogating me but really, I couldn't remember. He believed me so he just turned off the flashlight, left it on the floor next to him and rested his head again but this time he didn't turn around.

"Good-night, Daryl." I rested my head as well and closed my eyes, maybe tomorrow would be better.

"Night." I heard Daryl muttering in a such really low tone that I wasn't sure if he really said it or it was just my imagination.

The next morning was a really sad view. People were stabbing the dead in the head just to make sure they were really dead or weren't going to turn before carrying them to the fire, while Andrea hadn't moved from her sister's side.

I spotted Sophia and flashed her a big smile, she smiled back but I could tell it hadn't reached her eyes, she was terrified of what had happened last night. I guess I was lucky I wasn't awake to witness it and that nothing had gotten to me.

I saw Jacqui just outside of her tent, she looked sick from the view in front of her. I walked to her, wanting answers.

"Good morning, Jacqui," I said with a small smile on my lips.

"Hello, Cici," she said in a monotone voice.

"I, uh, I don't know if this is a good time but I don't remember what happened to me yesterday when we were doing the laundry and you are the only one I can ask."

"It's okay." She sighed. She patted the place next to her, indicating me to sit there. I obliged and sat there, waiting for her answer.

"I remember we were washing the clothes and my father was being a dick, as usual. Andrea was arguing with him, right?" She nodded. "I don't remember much after that."

"Ed was taking Carol away, we all tried to stop her from going with him. He slapped her. You ran to him and pushed him, he got so angry he slapped you very hard," she told me. "You lost your balance and fell. Your head landed on a big rock, you were unconscious and you were bleeding a lot."

"I don't remember that."

"Your father didn't give a shit, he kept trying to take Carol away. Shane got to him and hit the shit out of him while Lori came and eventually managed to stop the bleeding. Shane carried you back to camp and Dale told him to leave you on his RV, so we could keep an eye on you. An injury in the head is not something you can take lightly," she told me. "Dale, Lori and Morales's wife watched over you all day."

"What about my mum?" I asked and I could tell she started to feel uncomfortable right after I asked.

"She... she went with Ed," she said coldly. "To take care of that asshole."

I heard a branch snapping behind me and when I turned around I saw none other than Daryl Dixon. He looked really pissed. Our eyes met for a second before he stormed away muttering, "I'm going to kill him."

"That won't be necessary," Jacqui called, obviously hearing Daryl as well.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused. "Because Shane beat him?"

"He's dead," she told me. "He was killed last night."

I stared at her in complete shock. I felt a small stab in my heart, he was my father after all. But that almost unbearable sadness you feel when someone is gone forever didn't last long, but I was a bit sad, I admit that.

I don't really remember when was the last time I felt something else other than fear, hatred and resentment towards that man. He didn't deserve my tears.

"I'm sorry," Jacqui told me. I just shook my head and stood up, I was a bit affected but I'm sure I won't be missing him for long.

I walked away and noticed everyone looking at me, I felt really uncomfortable. I wondered why they were watching me like this. Was it because of my father? If so, why weren't they looking at Sophia as well?

"What happened to your face?" I heard a voice behind me, I turned around and saw Carl. Maybe that's why they were all staring at me, my injury and the bruise.

"I, uh, I fell on a rock," I said quickly.

"What about that bruise?"

"It must have been the fall as well," I lied quickly.

"But it's on the other side of your face," he said being a a bit confused.

"Carl!" Lori exclaimed, walking to us. "Don't be rude!"

"It's okay," I told her. "He's just worried about me," I said, not knowing if he was worried or just curious.

"Are you okay?" she asked me.

"My head hurts a bit and I'm a bit confused but I'm good."

"You should eat something, you haven't eaten in almost a whole day."

"I'm not really that hungry," I told her, looking around me and seeing all those bodies.

"I understand." She nodded. "If you need anything you can ask me, okay?"

"Okay, thank you!"

I smiled at her and turned around to keep going to the lake when Jacqui started screaming and everyone gathered around.

"A walker got him! A walker bit Jim!" Jacqui shouted.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," Jim repeated weakly, trying to convince us of it but T-Dog grabbed him from behind, making him dropped the shovel he was holding and Daryl quickly approached him and lifted his shirt, revealing a bite. "I'm okay, I'm okay!"

I felt extremely sad, we were going to lose another member of our group. Once you are bit or scratched there is no turning back, there is no cure, at least not yet.

Everyone walked away from Jim so they could discuss what to do with him. Daryl obviously said we should kill him.

"I say we put a pickaxe in his head and the dead girl's and be done with it," Daryl told us.  
"Is that what you'd want if it were you?" Shane asked.

"Yeah, and I'd thank you while you did it."  
"I hate to say it, I never thought I would but maybe Daryl's right."  
"Jim's not a monster, Dale, or some rabid dog. He's sick. A sick man. We start down that road, where do we draw the line?" Rick spoke up.

"The line's pretty clear," Daryl said. "Zero tolerance for walkers or them to be."  
"What if we can get him help? I heard the CDC was working on a cure," Rick said.  
"I heard that too. Heard a lot of things before the world went to hell," Shane told us.  
"What if the CDC is still up and running?" Rick argued.

"Man, that is a stretch right there," Shane said, shaking his head.  
"Why? If there's any government left, any structure at all, they'd protect the CDC at all costs, wouldn't they? I think it's our best shot."

Rick and Shane continued to argue, Rick wanted to go to the CDC and Shane wanted to go to Fort Benning, while Daryl just wanted to end Jim's life.

"You go looking for aspirin, do what you need to do. Someone needs to have some balls to take care of this damn problem!" Daryl exclaimed as he ran towards Jim, with a pickaxe in his hands.

"Daryl no! Stop please!" I exclaimed, running after him, just as everybody else.

I share the same belief as Daryl, it's cruel but it's a lost cause. But I disagree about killing him like this, we should at least wait.

Luckily Rick took out his gun and pointed it at Daryl before he could do anything too erratic.

"We don't kill the living," he stated.  
"That's funny," Daryl said sarcastically "Coming from a man who just put a gun to my head."  
"We may disagree on some things, not on this. You put it down. Go on," Shane told Daryl, who threw the pickaxe furiously.  
After that Rick took Jim inside the RV in case Daryl or anyone else tried to kill him. Poor man, he must be feeling awful plus there's people who want him dead.

I realized the argument wouldn't be over yet but I'm just a girl so no matter what I think they won't even consider it so I resumed my walk to the lake. I just wanted to get away from this... cemetery, but even before reaching the woods I saw my mother, standing right next to Daryl. She was holding a pickaxe and started to stab a corpse repeatedly as she cried, I could only assume that half-eaten body was what it was left of my father. Daryl looked at my mother and I could tell he was unsure if he should intervene and stop her or not. But she eventually stopped but she kept on crying.

She turned to look away from the body, right in my direction. She tried to stop crying but she couldn't, I would have gone to comfort her but after I was told she went with my father after the incident in the lake and not with me when I was unconscious, I couldn't help but be really upset at her.

So, I just walked away from her, from there.

"Hey, where the hell do you think you are going?"

"Away," I answered simply.

"You can't!" Daryl exclaimed. "Look what happened last night, are you stupid or something?"

"What do you care? Just leave me alone!" I said raising my voice a bit and glaring at him. "I can take care of myself."

"Yeah, I can see that," he said sarcastically, probably referring to my head injury and bruise.

"What's your problem?" I asked getting pretty annoyed by him.

"Can't you see it's dangerous out there?"

"I just need to be alone for a while," I almost yelled at him.

"You know what? Whatever, I don't give a damn!" He stormed away from me, leaving me feeling so angry, not just at him but at everything.

After my argument with Daryl I wasn't in the mood to go to the lake anymore but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction so I walked there. As I approached the shore, I noticed dark blood on some of the rocks, my blood. It was quite a lot, probably that's why I had felt so light headed since the incident. I shuddered at the sight, so I moved away.

I sat by the shore, took off my shoes and put my feet in the water. It was cold but nice, it was relaxing. But my alone time didn't last more than ten minutes.

"Daryl said you would be here," Rick told me. "We are about to bury the dead people."

"I don't want to go," I simply said, looking back at the lake.

"I understand it must be hard to lose your dad," he said sympathetically. "It's hard to lose family but..."

"He's not my family," I interrupted him. "Yeah, he may be my blood and all that but he's not family, not after everything he has done to me, to us."

"Okay." He nodded. "If you don't want to go, could you at least go back to the camp? I would feel better knowing you were there and not here by yourself."  
"I walked on a street infested with those things, I made it out! Why everyone assumes I can't take care of myself?"

"It's dangerous, we can't be alone anymore! We have to be cautious! You were one of the first people I met from this group and I would be really sad if something happened to you," he told me with sincerity. "Once the funeral is over and if someone wants to make you company then that's fine, you can come back here but for now please go back."

I sighed and stood up. "I just wanted some time alone, I guess you can't have that anymore."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I said. I grabbed my shoes and put them back on. "I might ask Teresa and Oliver to come with me later."

"Who are they?" he asked me as we started to walk back to camp.

"My best friends, I met Teresa first. Oliver is her boyfriend," I informed him. "We used to share an apartment before all of this crap happened."

"In Atlanta?"

"No, in New York," I said with a small smile.

"What are you all doing here then?"

"It was my grandfather's birthday, my mother made me come. She claimed this could be his last birthday and that I should go, problem was that she has been claiming the same thing for the last eight years or so," I said with a small chuckle. "But I guess this time she was right, I can't imagine how he can be alive now."

"I'm sorry,"

"It's okay, I have gotten used to the idea."

"Are you sure you don't want to come?"

"Pretty sure, now I guess I'll just go to my tent and maybe rest or something," I told him with a shrug of my shoulders.

Rick nodded at me and then gave me something quickly, a small silver gun. "Just in case," he said before walking to the graves Jim dug the day before, or that's what I was told, I was unconscious when he did it.

Hello guys! What do you think of the chapter?  
And what are your opinions of what happened to the Episode of this week? I won't tell exactly what because I don't want to spoil it to the people who haven't watched it!  
Personally, I think they just want to scare us and he's alright :)


	5. Chapter 5 - CDC

"This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper."  
\- T.S. Eliot

"We are not going," Morales announced.

After burying the dead, everyone had agreed to go to the CDC. Glenn was the only one that told me at dinner. We packed everything last night so we could leave first thing today.

"We have family in Birmingham. We want to be with our people," his wife said.  
"You go on your own, you won't have anyone to watch your back," Rick warned him.  
"We'll take the chance. I got to do what's best for my family."  
"You sure?"

"We talked about it. We're sure."  
"All right."  
Rick then knelt and looked inside his bag and got out a gun and gave it to Morales, who thanked him. Daryl didn't seem so happy about that.

Everyone then said their good-byes to the family. Most people had tears in their eyes, especially the kids. I shook hands with Morales and his wife and hugged the two kids.

"Take care, alright?" I told them. The two of them nodded sadly.

The girl moved past me and bear-hugged Sophia, both of them were on the verge of tears, when they pulled away the girl gave Sophia her doll, and that made her shed the first tear. I moved next to Sophia and wrapped my arms around her.

"Everything will be fine," I muttered even when I had no idea if it was true or not.  
"Channel 40 if you change your minds," Shane told Morales just before we all got into the cars.

I was driving with Teresa and Oliver in Oliver's car. My mother's Cherokee was full, Rick, Lori, Carl, Sophia and my mum were in it and besides, it's more fun to be with my friends. I asked Glenn if he wanted to come with us but he loved being around Dale and learning stuff, so he said he would come with me next time.

There were seven vehicles in total, Morales' car, my mother's Cherokee, Shane's Jeep, Daryl's blue truck, T-Dog's van, Dale's RV and Oliver's red Mini Cooper. Most people said we should leave one car behind, someone of us could go with Daryl and the other two with Shane but Oliver didn't want to leave his car behind. T-Dog, Daryl and Shane refused as well.

"I actually liked it there," Teresa told us, she was in the passenger seat. "So different from New York."

"I thought you were a city girl," I said, taking a quick glance at her because I was driving. Oliver was in the back seat, he said he was going to try to take a nap, he couldn't sleep last night.

"Me too but for a change, it was nice."

After that most of the drive was quiet. We watched sadly at the world and what it had become, a very unfriendly place with dangers in every corner. We saw a few walkers on the road, some blood stains on the pavement as well. It was pretty sad and scary as well.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed since we left the mountain but Dale stopped his RV, he was in the front so everyone stopped their cars and got out as well to see what the problem was.

Teresa and I got out of the car, Oliver was sleeping so we just left him there, in the back seat while we went to see what was wrong.

"I told you we'd never get far on that hose." We heard Dale saying.  
"Can you jury-rig it?" Rick asked.

"That's all it's been so far. It's more duct tape than hose. And I'm out of duct tape."  
"I see something up ahead," Shane said."Maybe a gas station."  
"Y'all," Jacqui exclaimed, running out of the RV. "Jim It's bad. I don't think he can take anymore."  
"Hey, Rick, you want to hold down the fort? I'll drive ahead, see what I can bring back," Shane said.  
"Yeah, I'll come along too and I'll back you up," T-Dog told him.  
"We'll be right back."  
Shane and T-Dog got on Shane's jeep while Rick walked into the RV to check on Jim, while the rest of us just stayed outside. Daryl had his crossbow ready, just in case.

A few minutes later Rick walked out of the RV with a sorrow expression and informed us Jim wanted to be left right here. We argued about it for a while and while it hurt us, we had to respect his wishes. Shane and T-Dog were back by now. Rick and Shane carried Jim outside and set him against a tree.

"Another damn tree," he muttered.

One by one we said our good-byes, some people said lots of words to him, Jacqui kissed his cheek and some just waved. I was one of those people. I didn't have anything against the man, I just didn't like to touch people or people touching me, I've never been that kind of person.

Daryl was the last person there, he gave Jim a nod before walking back to his truck. The RV was fixed for now so we were ready to go. This time I got into the passenger seat and Teresa drove.

This time the silence wasn't that comfortable, we were all affected by leaving Jim behind. He was a nice man and didn't deserve to die alone.

We finally got to the city, Oliver hadn't said a word during the whole ride, not even after he woke up. He just stretched, yawned and got out of the car. The street was blocked so we had to leave the cars quite far from the CDC.

As soon as I stepped out, an intoxicating, awful smell filled my nose, making me gag. I put my shirt over my nose to stop it but it was still really bad.

As we walked into the streets we saw dozens and dozens of corpses, lying on the floor. There were flies all over the place and for a moment I lost hope, thinking we had come this far for nothing.

We stopped right outside the building, knocking, pounding, hitting shutters but nothing.

"There's nobody here!" T-Dog said.

"Then why are these shutters down?"

"Walkers!" Daryl shouted, a few seconds later he shot an arrow at it. "You brought us to a graveyard!"

"Rick, this is a dead end," Shane told him, trying to keep calmed. "Do you hear me? No blame."  
"We can't be here, this close to the city after dark," Lori said.

"Fort Benning, Rick. Still an option," Shane told him.  
"On what? No food, no fuel. That's 100 miles," Andrea spoke.

"One hundred twenty-five, I checked the map," Glenn said.

"Not helping Glenn!" I exclaimed, he only shrugged at me.  
Everyone started arguing then, everyone raised their voices. That would probably attract walkers.

"We should go!" I said, it was getting dark and more dangerous with every second passing by.  
"Let's go!" some people exclaimed and most of us hurried away, except for Rick.  
"The camera, it moved!" he shouted.  
"You imagined it," Dale told him.  
"It moved. I saw it too," Oliver exclaimed, staring at it as well.  
"It's an automated device, Rick. It's gears, okay? They're just winding down. Now come on!" Shane said trying to get some sense into Rick.  
"You need to let it go, Rick!" Lori desperately shouted at him, who was pounding on the shutters.  
"I know you're in there. I know you can hear me. Please, we're desperate!" Rick spoke to the camera, pleading. "Please help us! We have women, children, no food, hardly any gas left. We have nowhere else to go!"

Lori ran to him, leaving Carl next to Dale so he could protect him, while she tried to drag Rick back to the cars. I was going right after Lori when someone grabbed my wrist and stopped me from going, I turned around and expected to see Teresa since she was next to me, but instead my eyes landed on a pair of piercing blue eyes, Daryl. I frowned at him and he just shook his head.  
"If you don't let us in, you're killing us!" Rick screamed, finally losing his patience. He started pounding on the shutters again and raising his voice even more. "Please!"

"Come on, buddy, let's go!" Shane shouted at Rick as he wrapped an arm around him and pulled him with him, while he kept struggling and shouting at the camera.  
"You're killing us! You're killing us! You're killing us!"

Rick had finally given up and started to run with us when we heard a metal noise behind us and we saw a very light white light. We turned around in surprise and saw one of the shutters going up. I gasped. Rick was right!

As cautious as we could be, we walked into the CDC. I was in between Teresa and Oliver while my mum wasn't far behind us with Sophia. A few feet from us there was a man holding a big gun, he was pointing it at us.

"Anyone infected?" he yelled.

"One of our was," Rick informed him. "He didn't make it."

"Why are you here? What do you want?"

"A chance," Rick told him.  
"That's asking an awful lot these days."  
"I know."  
"You all submit to a blood test. That's the price of admission." I didn't mind that but I could see Sophia shuddering, she had stood next to me, taking Oliver's place.  
"We can do that."  
"You got stuff to bring in, you do it now. Once this door closes, it stays closed." I really didn't like how that sounded but hey, we're going to be safe here, right?

Part of our group stayed by the entrance to make sure no walkers were going to get in while some of the men of the group ran back to the cars to bring everyone's bags, Oliver went for mine and Teresa's. As soon as they were back, the man order 'VI' to close the doors.

"Rick Grimes."

"Doctor Edwin Jenner."

We followed Jenner into a lift, there were sixteen of us and somehow we all fitted inside the lift. I ended up in between Sophia and Daryl, our bodies were squashed inside and I was feeling a bit uncomfortable to be so close to this man.

When I was about five I was inside a lift that got stuck, I was trapped for about two hours then it fell about three floors before it got stuck again, since then I had been terrified of lifts. If I can avoid them I'll do that.

"You okay?" Daryl asked me. I just nodded at him. I could feel my hands getting sweaty and I was hyperventilating and all that plus being claustrophobic didn't help in this situation. "You look a bit pale."

"She's scared of lifts," Sophia told him.

Daryl looked interested in the story but I wasn't going to tell him now, if he wanted to know he had to wait until we were out of this thing.

"Doctors always go around packing heat like that?" Daryl spoke, probably taking the hint that I wasn't going to tell him.

"There were plenty left lying around. I familiarized myself. But you look harmless enough, except you," he said to Carl, who grinned. "I'll have to keep my eye on you."  
Finally we reached our destination, I wanted to be the first to get out but I was in the very back so I had to wait for almost everybody to walk out before I could. Jenner lead us through a white hall once we were all out.

"Are we underground?" my mum asked him, she was claustrophobic just like me, I probably got it from her.

"Are you claustrophobic?"

"A little," she admitted.  
"Try not to think about it."

"Oh great," I muttered, knowing we were indeed underground. I had no idea how much time we were going to be here but I had no idea how I was going to manage to keep calm in a place like this, this wasn't good for me.

I felt a hand on my shoulder in a comforting way, the person probably noticed that I was a bit jumpy and restless about this. I turned around, expecting to see Glenn or Oliver, since the hand was too big to be from a female, but I didn't expect to see Daryl. He instantly dropped his hand to his side, he coughed and looked extremely uncomfortable about it. I offered him a small smile before looking in front of me again.

"Vi, bring up the lights in the big room," Jenner said and suddenly white lights went on, revealing a room full of computers. "Welcome to zone 5."  
"Where is everybody?" I asked him. "The other doctors, the staff?"

"I'm it. It's just me here," he replied.

"What about the person you were speaking with?" Lori asked. "Vi?"

"Vi, say hello to our guests. Tell them welcome."  
"Hello, guests. Welcome!" a computerized voice said. Great.  
"I'm all that's left," Jenner told us. "I'm sorry."

"It's going to be okay, Sophia," I told her as I rubbed her back. "It doesn't hurt that much, I promise."

I let the girl grabbed my hand as Jenner took a blood sample from her, I was the first followed by Rick and Shane, I just wanted to get it over with.

Sophia grabbed my hand a bit more tightly as the needle went in, she bit her lip and waited for it to be done. Sophia got a nice aid-band for her courage.

"You are so brave, Sophia" I told her as we stepped aside, waiting for a few more people to get their samples done. Sophia wrapped her arms around me and rested her head against my chest. I couldn't believe how tall she had gotten lately, if she keeps growing she will be taller than me.

Andrea was the last one, she almost fainted when she stood up. Jacqui told Jenner we hadn't eaten in days and thanks to her we went straight to eat after that.

"You know, in Italy, children have a little bit of wine with dinner," Dale told Lori as he handed her a cup of wine. "And in France."  
"Well, when Carl is in Italy or France he can have some then."  
"What's it gonna hurt?" Rick asked her. "Come on!"  
Lori just made a face at him but allowed it. Dale handed the little boy a glass with a bit of wine, Carl looked extremely excited about it.

"There you are, young lad."

We all watched Carl as he took a sip, waiting for his reaction.

"Ewww!" he exclaimed as he crunched his nose in disgust, we all laughed at him.

"That's my boy!" Lori said proudly. "That's my boy. Good boy!"  
"That tastes nasty," he said while Lori poured the wine in her cup.  
"Well, just stick to sour pop there, bud," Shane said to him.  
"Not you, Glenn, neither do you, Cici," Daryl said to the both of us, we were sat together. Glenn only smiled really big at him and laughed.

"Want to get me drunk, Daryl?" I teased him in a seductive tone, with a wink and a smirk, making almost everyone else uhhh-ing at us.

"Don't be silly," he said to me as he took another sip of his wine, but he didn't look at me when he said that, or at anyone really.

I wasn't a wine type of girl. I preferred other kind of drinks like vodka or tequila, I didn't like the flavour of wine that much but that's all we got here and it's been a while since I last drank so I'm not complaining.

"Don't worry, I was planning to get drunk anyway," I said with a shrug.

"Annika Cecilia!" my mother squealed.

"What?" I asked. "It's not like I haven't done it before and the world has gone to hell, so, no big deal."  
My mother said nothing after that, the environment turned a bit awkward so Rick quickly stood up and spoke.

"It seems to me we haven't thanked our host properly."

"He is more than just our host," T-Dog said, raising his cup, followed by some others.  
"Booyah!" Daryl exclaimed.

"Booyah!" some other repeated, raising their cups again.

"Thank you!" Rick told Jenner.

"So when are you gonna tell us what the hell happened here, doc?" Shane asked. "All the... the other doctors that were supposed to be figuring out what happened. Where are they?"

"We're celebrating, Shane," Rick told him but the damage had already been done. "Don't need to do this now."  
"Whoa, wait a second. This is why we're here, right? This was your move, supposed to find all the answers. Instead we, uh, we found him. Found one man. Why?"

"Well, when things got bad, a lot of people just left. Went off to be with their families and when things got worse, when the military cordon got overrun, the rest bolted."

"Every last one?" Shane asked.

"No, many couldn't face walking out the door," Jenner answered. "They opted out. There was a rash of suicides. That was a bad time."  
" But you didn't leave, why?" Teresa asked him.

"I just kept working, hoping to do some good."  
"Dude, you are such a buzzkill, man," Glenn said to Shane, it was the truth. We were celebrating, what was his problem?  
The rest of the dinner was silent and a bit awkward, I just kept drinking, Daryl was kind enough to refill my cup when he noticed it was empty, I smirked at him, making him remember my comment minutes ago, he decided to ignore me and instead filled his own cup.

Not long after that, we all finished our food. We put the dishes in the sink and then Jenner asked us to follow him so he could show us where we were going to sleep.

"Most of the facility is powered down including housing, so you'll have to make it down here," Jenner told us as he led us through another hallway, but this one was nicer. "The couches are comfortable, But there are cots in storage if you like. There's a rec room down the hall that you kids might enjoy. Just don't plug in the video games, okay? Or anything that draws power." Carl and Sophia nodded at him. "The same applies," he said now looking at us, the grown-ups. "If you shower, go easy on the hot water.

"Hot water?" I muttered in a dreamy way, was this real?  
"That's what he said," Glenn said to me, he had the same dreamy expression on his face and then rushed inside a room.

"Sophia come," my mother said as she chose a room. ""You too, Cecilia."

"Uh, I already have a room," I lied, I just didn't want to share with her, I was still upset at her. I smiled at Sophia before turning around and going inside an empty room.

I smiled at the little room with a single couch inside, but I couldn't appreciate it enough because someone grabbed my wrist and turned me around quite aggressively.

"What do you think you are doing?" None other than Daryl said to me. "This is my room!"

"I got here first!" I said simply. "It's mine!"

"I saw it first, girl! Now go with your mother and leave me alone!"

"I don't think so! You either will have to leave or share it with me!"

"You are so ungrateful! I let you use my tent and now..."

"It won't be such a big change then, will it?" I said smirking.

Daryl sighed, he dropped his things in the room but walked out of the room. I didn't get mad at Daryl's behaviour because I was already a little bit drunk and I'm a happy drunk, well most of the time.

A minute later Daryl walked inside again and muttered to me that there weren't any other available rooms, so we were stuck together.

"I'll shower first!" he told me and almost ran into the bathroom, I just muttered an "okay" and walked out of the room, I needed to find another bottle of wine and drink some more.

I was lucky enough to find Teresa, Oliver and Sean in the rec room. They already had two bottles of wine. I smiled when I saw them and Teresa waved at me to join them.

"Starting a party without me?" I asked her.

"Never!" she exclaimed with a grin. "I got you a cup!"

There hadn't been such a nice and calm time in about a month. We were talking, laughing and drinking together, we weren't afraid something was going to attack us from behind and eat our flesh, we were good here.

I hadn't had the chance to know Sean that well but he was quite nice. He was three years older than me, he was one three years younger than Oliver and he was the same age as Teresa. He told us he was with his uncle Shane because he got into a really deep problem and as a punishment he was sent with him, the cop of the family.

"He's really strict," Sean told us. "I hated every moment of it but thanks to what I did and my parents' punishment I'm alive now, cheers to that!"

"Cheers!" we all said and raised our cups.

Minutes later the kids and their mothers walked into the rec room but stayed apart from us. My mother only looked at me in a disappointed way, I shrugged it off and drank a bit more.

Oliver then proceeded to tell us a really funny story, I had heard it thousand of times. When he was done the four of us burst out laughing like maniacs, exactly at that moment Daryl walked into the room, wearing sweatpants and a washed-coloured shirt and his hair was wet.

"Fucking teenagers," he muttered rolling his eyes.

I looked at him and noticed he was walking towards us and almost immediately I understood why. He wanted our wine. Only a second before him, I grabbed the full bottle. He grunted and I stuck out my tongue at him.

"Come on!" he whined.

"You can have this," I told him, grabbing the almost empty bottle and handed it to him. "Or you can look for your own bottle."

"Whatever," he muttered and took the bottle. He lied on a couch really close to us and started to drink from the bottle.

A few minutes later my mother took Sophia and Carl away to their rooms. Both of them gave me a hug before following my mum. Lori, just walked into another room, said she wanted to check the books or something like that.

"If there were more people here we could play spin the bottle," Teresa said as she pecked Oliver.

"Want to call Dale?" Oliver mockingly asked. "I'm sure he would be up for it."

"And with your luck you would have to be the one to kiss him," I told him, making the three of us laugh, Oliver just glared at me but it was gone soon.

"Don't you see how perfect this is?" Teresa told me, I only shook my head at her. "We are two girls and two boys, perfect."

"Wha...?"

"Kiss Sean, Cici!" Teresa interrupted me. "I dare you."

Every time someone says those three words I feel like they are challenging me and that I have to do whatever they are daring me to do, it was like my weakness and Teresa knew that. Besides, I'm drunk so I just shrugged at her and smiled at Sean.

"If he wants..." I chanted but I did know he wanted, I could see it in his eyes.

Sean wasn't bad looking. He had a body to die for, it was obvious he spent a good quantity of time in the gym before all of this. He had wavy, brown hair that reached his shoulder and beautiful green eyes.

Sean didn't answer. He just smirked at me and leaned in, we were sat next to each other so we were relatively close. I winked at Teresa before closing my eyes and leaning as well. I felt his hot lips against my own and smiled. We didn't pull away that quickly but the kiss wasn't that... passionate. I actually didn't feel anything.

At the exact time we pulled away, Shane came into the room. He looked a little bit agitated and upset.

"You," he said pointing at Sean. "If you don't come with me to the room, you will have to sleep outside!"

"I can sleep with Cecilia."

"Actually I'm..." I was going to tell him I was sharing a room with Daryl, using him as an excuse to not have him there but Shane interrupted me.

"Oh no, you won't! Come here now!" Shane exclaimed, "I'm serious Sean."

Shane doesn't like to be disturbed when he's sleeping, Rick told us that. And at these times you don't have the chance to sleep so often, and if you do sleep, you wake up from every little noise you hear.

Sean sighed and got up, drinking until the last drop that was in his cup was gone. He shook Oliver's hand and waved at Teresa, who was a bit far from here then he looked at me and started to lean down, I tried to turn my face but he was too quick. He gave me a peck on the corner of my lips and then smiled at me, I just awkwardly smiled back at him.

I was drunk now, so I enjoyed it but I sincerely hope this doesn't become a habit. I don't like Sean like that and I wasn't interested in boys right now, not with everything that has happened. A boyfriend is the least thing I need right now.

"We should go as well," Teresa said, standing up but stumbled a bit in the process.

"Yeah, I still need to shower."

"You guys go, there's still a little bit of wine here, can't just leave it."

"Suit yourself," Teresa told me knowing it's better not to argue with me. She gave me a kiss on the top of the head while Oliver ruffled my hair.

I just wanted some time alone, trying to process everything that had happened lately. My father is gone for good, and a part of me is sad and kind of mourning him and the other part is beaten up the other part for being stupid because he doesn't deserve any kind of mourning.

My thoughts were interrupted by a person grabbing the bottle that was in front of me, I turned to see Daryl taking a big sip from it.

"Hey, that's mine, you know?" I slurred.

"Too bad," he exclaimed, for some reason his voice didn't sound that friendly anymore. "I'm sharing the room with you, I need to get drunk to get through the night."

"It's me who has to get drunk, you're so irritable."

"Then get out of my room!" he exclaimed angrily.

"It's my room, I got to it first!" I whined, feeling like a five-year old girl.

"You can sleep with your friends, with Sean or with your mother! Why don't you just leave me alone!?"

"I don't want to. I can't. I need some time away from her, I mean, you heard she chose him instead of her unconscious daughter," I exclaimed, getting frustrated. "Besides, why do you always want to be alone? You could use some company."

It seemed like what I said about my mother softened him or something, the anger was barely still present in his eyes and he didn't look annoyed by me anymore, he looked at me differently, but wasn't sure in what way exactly, pity perhaps? What else could it be?

"Let's go," Daryl told me, the anger was indeed gone.

"I want to stay here, I wan..."

"Let's go," Daryl said and grabbed my upper arm, pulling me up. I stumbled a bit but with Daryl grabbing me, I didn't fall back into the couch.

I probably underestimated how much I had drunk tonight, I was so dizzy and I couldn't walk very well, I will feel so ashamed about this tomorrow. Daryl handed me the bottle and I heard him muttering something but I couldn't tell what exactly.

Then the next thing I know is that I'm off of my feet and Daryl is carrying me bridal style. I could feel myself blushing but I wrapped my arms around his neck nevertheless, after all, he was drunk as well and I didn't want him to drop me or something.

He took us to our room, it's so weird saying something is Daryl's and mine. He pushed the door with his foot and let himself in. Gently, he set me on the couch and took the bottle of wine from me, taking a sip. We couldn't just leave that behind.

"What about you?" I asked him, noticing there was nothing else where he could sleep on.

"I'll go get a cot," he slurred.

He handed me the almost empty bottle and walked out of the room, I drank the last bit and let it drop to the ground. I took off my shoes and lied down on the couch, pulling the blankets over me.

I was sleeping before Daryl came back.

Hello guys! I'm sorry for the late update, I've been so busy and tired this week, I'm back to training twice a week, so I've even had time or the energy to use my computer but I hope you like the chapter.  
What do you think of Sean, Shane's nephew? I know there hasn't been so much info about him but so far, what's your impression of him?  
And guys, did you watch Morgan's episode? What did you guys think? I thought it was a bit boring but still good, I hate when there are animals, though. It's so sad to watch them die because they are so innocent. RIP Tabitha :'(


	6. Chapter 6 - Countdown

"Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them."  
\- Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper

When I opened my eyes the first thing I saw was Daryl sleeping on a coat next to the couch. He was on his back and had an arm over his forehead, his breaths were deep and even, he looked so peaceful.

I had a slight headache and my throat was a bit dry but I was good compared to the amount of alcohol I had the night before. I usually don't get hangovers but I think I probably drank more last night than ever before.

I sat up and stretched, my back cracked a bit. I stood up and carefully walked out of the room to not wake up Daryl, he looked like an angel now and I didn't have the heart to wake him up and he would kill me if that happened.

I couldn't shower last night so I stepped into the shower and I felt like I was in heaven as the hot water touched my body. I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy this. I can't even remember the last time I had a decent shower, it seemed like so long ago.

After what felt like eternity, I finished my shower and got dressed in clean clothes and put a towel around my head, feeling clean for the first time since all of this started, then I heard my stomach grumbling so I stood up and walked out of the bathroom, when I passed my room I noticed Daryl was still sleeping, I smiled at him before walking into the hallway and closing the door as silently as I could.

"Hey," I heard a voice as soon as I walked out of the room. I turned to see Sean, fully dressed.

"Hi," I muttered and kept walking, flashbacks of last night appeared on my mind and I regretted it, I don't want Sean to misunderstand what happened last night, we were drunk, it happened but nothing else will, I'm not interested in him or anyone.

"You okay?"

"Just have a killing hangover," I lied.

Once I walked into the dining room I saw almost everybody in there. Rick and Shane looked quite bad, probably not better than me. Dale was always his cheerful self, Glenn didn't even looked up at me when I greeted him, he really looked like crap, poor him. Carl and Sophia smiled at me and made me sit in between them. Daryl and Teresa were the only people that weren't here.

"How do you feel?" Oliver asked me, he didn't look so bad.

"I'm good," I said.

"Noticed you walked in with Sean right behind you," he whispered in my ear. "Something happened, didn't it?"

"Absolutely not!" I exclaimed a bit too loud, almost everyone turned to look at us, I just smiled innocently at them. "We bumped in the hallway and came here together, that's it."

"You sure?"

"Of course!" I said giving him a look. He knew better than to push it. "Besides, I'm sharing with Daryl, so you can ask him if you don't believe me.

"Don't ever, ever, ever let me drink again," Glenn muttered before Oliver could reply to me, I turned to look at Glenn and he looked like he was going to puke at any minute. "How come you are not as bad as me even when you drank more?" he asked, looking back at me.

"I'm just cool like that," I said shrugging. "But you can't really be sure about who drank more."

Then Jenner joined us, I hadn't even noticed he wasn't here and I hadn't noticed either that Daryl had joined us by now. He was looking down at his food and whenever he looked up he wouldn't look at me, he couldn't be avoiding me, could he? I guess he just feels sick.

"Doctor, I don't mean to slam you with questions first thing," Dale started.

"But you will anyway."  
"We didn't come here for the eggs," Dale said simply.

After we were done with our breakfast Jenner led us to another room full of computers and specialised machines. I stayed next to Sophia the whole time. Carl stood next to us.

"Give me playback of TS-19," Jenner said to VI. "Few people ever got a chance to see this. Very few."

Suddenly a screen was on. It had a computerized version of a person's head, their brain was a bit brighter than the rest of the body.  
"Is that a brain?" Carl asked.

"An extraordinary one," Jenner replied. "Not that it matters in the end. Take us in for E.I.V..  
Then we saw the brain with more details and even inside of it, nerves working, or that's what I assumed I was seeing as several blue lights stared to flash in it very fast.  
"What are those lights?" Shane asked.

"It's a person's life – experiences, memories. It's everything. Somewhere in all that organic wiring, all those ripples of light, is you. The thing that makes you unique and human."  
"You don't make sense ever?" Daryl said, obviously not understanding anything of what he said. "Those are synapses, electric impulses in the brain that carry all the messages. They determine everything a person says does or thinks from the moment of birth to the moment of death."  
"Death? That's what this is, a vigil?" Rick said, taking a few steps forward.

"Yes," Jenner said nodding. "Or rather the playback of the vigil."  
"This person died?" I couldn't help but ask.  
"This person was bitten and infected and volunteered to have us record the process. VI, scan forward to the first event."  
Then we saw how the computerized brain started to turn a bit black and how these new 'lights' but from other colour, got into the brain.  
"What is that?" Glenn asked.

"It invades the brain like meningitis. The adrenal glands haemorrhage, the brain goes into shutdown, then the major organs," Jenner said as the brain went completely black and apparently lifeless. "Then death. Everything you ever were or ever will be... Gone."  
"Is that what happened to Jim?" Sophia asked me.

"Yes," I said nodding.  
Then Andrea's eyes started to fill with tears. Lori told Jenner she had just lost her sister a few days ago. He nodded sadly.  
"I lost somebody too. I know how devastating it is," he told her. "Scan to the second event."  
I turned to look from Andrea and Jenner to Daryl, who was already looking at me. He looked away quickly and pretended he wasn't looking at me. He had been weird since breakfast, I couldn't believe he was avoiding me and if he was, why would he? We were okay last night, yeah we had a little argument but then he carried me all the way to the room. What's his problem?  
"The resurrection times vary wildly. We had reports of it happening in as little as three minutes. The longest we heard of was eight hours. In the case of this patient, it was two hours, one minute, seven seconds."

In the lifeless and black brain some red faint glows started to appear but they were only in the lower part of the brain.  
"It restarts the brain?" Lori asked.

"No, just the brain stem. Basically, it gets them up and moving."

"It's nothing like before," Rick commented. "Most of that brain is dark."  
"Dark, lifeless, dead," Jenner said in an emotionless tone. "The frontal lobe, the neocortex, The human part – that doesn't come back, the you part. Just a shell driven by mindless instinct."  
Then we saw a bright light go through the brain and then the person, whoever that was, just stopped moving.

"God! What was that?" my mother asked.

"You shot your patient in the head?" I asked, assuming that was a gunshot.  
Jenner didn't answer me but his lack of reply only meant I was right. Then he ordered VI to turn off the screen and the whole area where we were, except for a single white light.  
"You have no idea what it is, do you?" Andreas asked him.

"It could be microbial, viral, parasitic, fungal."  
"Or the wrath of god?" Jacqui added.

"There is that."

Then some of us asked him if there were other people in other places, he didn't know that either, which only made us more nervous and restless. I put my arm around Sophia she didn't say anything but I could tell she was scared, just like me but she was just a kid, I had to be strong for her now.  
"There's nothing left anywhere? Nothing?" someone asked but I wasn't sure who. "That's what you're really saying, right?"

Silence.

That was all that followed that question. The little hope I had gotten when we got here just shattered into pieces and dissolved into nothing. I felt tears in my eyes but I couldn't let them fall.  
"Man, I'm gonna get so faced drunk," Daryl announced walking away. "Again,"  
"Doctor Jenner, I know this has been taxing for you and I hate to ask one more question," Dale started. "But that clock." We all turned to look at the clock then. "It's counting down. What happens at zero?"

I had stared at that clock and still hadn't noticed it was counting down, it was a timer, but the question was, a timer for what?

"The basement generators – they run out of fuel."  
"And then?" Rick asked but Jenner didn't answer him, instead he just walked away so Rick asked VI. "VI, what happens when the power runs out?"

When the power runs out, facility-wide decontamination will occur."  
"What the hell does that mean?" I asked but no one replied, not even VI.

Rick, Shane, Glenn and T-Dog ran down to the basement while the rest of us just went back to our rooms. I opened the door to mine and saw Daryl sitting on the couch, drinking from a bottle of wine, there was a second full one next to him.

"Can I have some?" I asked him. There is no hope, might as well just get drunk and forget all this reality at least for a bit.

Daryl didn't say anything to me, he looked at me for a second before taking another big sip from it. I sighed in frustration and sat on the cot he had used to sleep the night before.

"What's your problem?" I exclaimed.

"You are!" he said raising his voice a bit. "You are just so annoying! Why don't you just leave me alone!?"

"What the hell are you talking about? We were okay last night, you brought me here, what changed?"  
"I was just drunk!"

"Go to hell!"

"I'm already in hell!" he exclaimed. "And why don't you just go with your friends or that kid, Sean? Just bugger off!"

"Is that what this is about?" I asked him in surprise, my tone more calmed now. "Are you jealous?"

"What?"

"Jealous," I repeated. "Of me and Sean."  
"You are not just stupid but crazy as well," he told me and I would lie if I said that didn't hurt a bit. "Why would I be jealous of him?"

"I regret it, you know?" I said in a very casual way, actually like he was going to listen and care about what I had to say. "I don't want to give him fake hope on something that will never exist. He might be handsome and all but I'm not really into him and even if I were, now is not the time for that kind of stuff."

"Why are you telling me this?" he asked but for once he didn't shout or seem angry. "I don't give a fuck about your love story."

"You are the only one here." I shrugged. "Want to give me some of that now? I just found out there is no hope left and I am really not in the mood to hear you shouting at me for no damn reason. I just need a drink and forget all of this."

Daryl looked a bit shocked with my outburst, I was even surprised about myself. Daryl looked at me a bit unsure but eventually he handed me the half-empty bottle and I took a really big sip from it. I closed my eyes for a second before taking another one.

We finished that bottle together and Daryl wasted no time to open the second one, I grabbed it quickly from him and took the first sip from it and then handed it to Daryl.

"Is it just me or has it got a bit … hotter?" Daryl asked me after he had drank a bit less than half of the second bottle. For a minute I thought he was just messing around but now that I think about it, he's right.

Daryl stood up and put his hand under the air vent, it wasn't working and just minutes later the lights went a bit dimmer. Apparently we weren't the only ones to notice because we could hear people talking in the hallway. Daryl headed to the door, I took another sip, stood up and followed him with the bottle in hand, which Daryl took after he opened the door.

"Why is the air off?" Lori asked.

"And the lights in our room?" my mother added.

"What's going on? Why is everything turned off?" Daryl asked as Jenner walked through the hallway.

"Energy use is being prioritized."  
"Air isn't a priority? And lights?" Dale asked.

"It's not up to me. Zone 5 is shutting itself down."  
"Hey, what the hell does that mean? Hey man, I'm talking to you. What do you mean it's shutting itself down? How can a building do anything?" Daryl asked as he followed Jenner, who had taken the bottle from Daryl.

"Hey!" I exclaimed at him, trying to get the bottle from him.

"You'd be surprised."  
At that moment the other four men joined us as we all followed Jenner into the room where we saw what this thing does to the infected ones. He said that would happen at the half-hour mark and when we turned to look at the clock, it read 00:31:27. The energy was being prioritized to make the computers work until the last second.

Then Daryl took the bottle from Jenner's hand and only seconds later I took it from him. He turned to glare at me but I only shrugged my shoulders and took another sip, after that he took the bottle again without another word.  
"It was the French." He suddenly said. "They were the last ones to hold out as far as I know.  
While our people were bolting out the doors and committing suicide in the hallways, they stayed in the labs till the end. They thought they were close to a solution but they ran out of power, just like here."  
"Lori, grab our things. Everybody, get your stuff," Rick ordered us. "We're getting out of here now!"

We started to run but an alarm went off and we saw red lights going off as well. That can't be good.

"What's that?" Shane shouted.

"Thirty minutes for decontamination." Vi announced. Oh fucking great.

"Everybody, y'all heard Rick. Get your stuff and let's go!" Shane shouted again.

Before we could leave the exit was closed. What? I stared in disbelief at our only way out from here. This couldn't be happening! We were trapped.

"Did you just lock us in? He just locked us in!" Glenn yelled, losing his cool.

"You son of a bitch!" Daryl exclaimed as he ran to Jenner. "You let us out of here!"

Who knows what Daryl would had done to him, Shane stopped him just in time, pulling him away from the man.

"Jenner, open that door now." Rick said with authority.  
"There's no point. Everything topside is locked down. The emergency exits are sealed."  
"Well, open the damn things!" I yelled at him, finally losing my temper.  
"That's not something I control. The computers do. I told you once that front door closed, it wouldn't open again," Jenner told us. "It's better this way."  
"What is? What happens in 28 minutes?" Rick asked. I wasn't so sure if I wanted to know the answer to that.

"You know what this place is?! We protected the public from very nasty stuff! Weaponized smallpox! Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Stuff you don't want getting out! Ever!" Jenner yelled at all of us. "In the event of a catastrophic power failure, in a terrorist attack, for example H.I.T.s are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out.  
"H.I.T.s?" Rick asked.

"HITs – high-impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives cocoists of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear."

That's when we all just lost it. Rick embraced his family, Sophia broke down crying, same as my mum, who had Sophia in her arms. Shane hugged Sean, Oliver pecked Teresa's lips before hugging her as they both cried.

Daryl was the closest person to me so I just wrapped my arms around him without thinking. I could feel how he got tensed for a bit but we were about to die and he had no one else, so he just hugged me back and quite tightly. I almost felt safe in his arms, but I knew we were going to die in less than half an hour and VI kept telling us what would happen to us.  
"It sets the air on fire," Jenner told us. "No pain. An end to sorrow, grief regret. Everything."

It was then when I let go of Daryl, smiled sadly at him and then ran to hug both, my mother and my sister. My mother and sister each put an arm around me and I did the same. This wasn't the time to be upset, we only had minutes to live.

I pulled away from them when I heard glass shattering. Daryl had just thrown the bottle at the door. I just shook my head and embraced my family again.  
"Open the damn door!" he shouted.

Shane and Daryl started to hit the metal door with pickaxes but I could tell they weren't making a difference.

"Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher," Jenner said.

"Well, your head ain't!" Daryl said and headed towards Jenner with his pickaxe.

"Daryl! Daryl! Just back up! Back up!"

Dale, Rick Oliver, and T-Dog managed to stop Daryl from murdering him. If he dies we all die here with him. I turned to look at the clock and saw how the seconds kept going down and down. We are running out of time. We only had ten minutes now.

"There is no hope," Jenner told us. "There never was."  
"There's always hope," Rick told him.

And that's when I realized I still had hope. Just minutes ago I was drinking my sorrow away because I thought there wasn't any hope but right now that I'm about to die and I want nothing else than to escape this and live, that my sister lives, makes me know I still have something worth fighting for. I still have hope.

"This is our extinction event," Jenner said. Damn, I just wanted to punch this man right in his face. If he didn't have something to live for, that's fine but why kill us all?  
"This isn't right. You can't just keep us here," my mother cried, Jenner tried to tell her this was going to be pain free but that wasn't really comforting. "My daughters don't deserve to die like this."  
Shane lost it then. He grabbed a rifle and threatened Jenner with it. Rick talked him out of it and instead he shot some computers just out of rage.

"I think you're lying," Rick told Jenner. "About no hope. If that were true, you'd have bolted with the rest or taken the easy way out. You didn't. You chose the hard path. Why?"

"It doesn't matter," he said. "I made a promise to her, to my wife."  
"Test subject 19 was your wife?" Teresa asked.

"She begged me to keep going as long as I could. How could I say no? She was dying," he told us.

"It should've been me on that table. I wouldn't have mattered to anybody. She was a loss to the world. Hell, she ran this place. I just worked here. In our field, she was an Einstein. Me? I'm just Edwin Jenner. She could've done something about this. Not me."

"Your wife didn't have a choice," Rick told him. "You do. That's – that's all we want – A choice, a chance."

"Let us keep trying as long as we can," Lori spoke up as she held a cryibg Carl in her arms.  
"I told you topside's locked down. I can't open those." He walked away and then pressed the password on a little keyboard and the door was open.  
"Come on!" Daryl shouted.

I didn't waste a second to follow him out of here and pulling my sister with me. I turned to see behind me and saw my mother running just behind us.

We tried every door, we hit the glasses with everything we had in our hands but they just wouldn't break. Shane even shot at it and nothing. I was starting to think that we were actually going to die when my mum approached Rick.

"Rick, I have something that might help," she said looking into her bag.  
"Carol, I don't think a nail file's gonna do it," Shane told her.  
"Your first morning at camp, when I washed your uniform I found this in your pocket," she said, giving Rick a grenade.

"Get down! Get down!"

We all jumped to the ground and tried to hide behind the stairs. Teresa and Oliver were right next to me, I couldn't see Sophia but I hoped she was with our mum.

The grenade exploded and I smiled and felt a rush of relief when I saw the glass had broken. I stood up as fast as I could and ran towards the last-minute-made exit. I jumped out and landed on the floor. I turned and caught Sophia as she jumped as well, I grabbed her hand and pulled her away from there, as far as I could go.

We ran back to the cars, there were about twenty walkers right outside the building. Some of us shot at them as we ran, Daryl even cut one's head off. I wanted to grab my gun but it was inside my bag and I didn't have time to look for it. When we got to the cars we all got inside them. Oliver got into the driver seat and didn't waste a second to start the engine, while I ended up in the back seat with Sophia.  
I saw my mother getting into her own car with Rick, Lori and Carl. She gave me a look like saying 'take care of her' and I just nodded at her.

Then I turned to look at the building and saw Dale and Andrea coming out just now. Lori shouted at them to get down. They hid behind some sacks while the rest of us just went down in the cars. I shielded Sophia's body with my own.

Only seconds later there was a loud explosion and I could feel the heat of it, I didn't dare to open my eyes. Luckily none of the windows of the cars shattered or even cracked.

I sat up about a minute later and the CDC was gone. The building was nothing more than fire and ashes now.

After that we all just drove away and I silently thanked for being able to escape just in time and be able to live another day.

Hello guys, hope you like this chapter! :) I'm so sick so I've been staying at home and since yesterday I have been writing new chapters, which I hadn't done in like two weeks!  
Who watched the episode this Sunday/Monday? I actually liked it so much more than the previous ones! I just disliked the end so much! I want Richonne, goddamn it! :'(  
Please tell me what you think and leave a review :)


	7. Chapter 7 - Lost

"A single twig breaks, but the bundle of twigs is strong."  
-Tecumseh

We were running out of gas so we had no choice but to leave some cars behind and be a bit more crowded. We kept Dale's RV, Oliver's BMW, my mum's Cherokee and Daryl's, well actually Merle's motorcycle.

T-Dog and Andrea got to ride with Oliver, and somehow there was no room for me anymore. I almost ended up with Daryl but my mum just wouldn't let me get on that, she said she wanted me safely inside her car. I had Carl on my left, who from time to time, would rest his head against my shoulder while I rested mine against the window.

Today was our third day on the road, it was tough being in a car for so many hours, especially when there is no space to lie down but there was no other way.

I was almost falling asleep when we noticed Dale stopping in front of us. The RV was so high we couldn't see what the problem was, if there was a problem with the road. But then we noticed the road was cramped with lots of abandoned cars.

Slowly Dale passed through them, led by Daryl. We followed them. Some cars had opened doors, there were even bodies inside some of the cars. It was awful.

Then we heard a noise and Dale stopped the RV once again. This time we got out of the vehicles, turned out there was a problem with the RV.

"I said it," Dale exclaimed. "Didn't I say it? A thousand times. Dead in the water."  
"Problem, Dale?" Shane asked.

"Just a small matter of being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no hope of..." he started ranting but stopped as he saw all the cars around us. "Okay, that was dumb."  
"If you can't find a radiator hose here..." Shane told him.

"Here's a whole bunch of stuff we can find," Daryl commented, already looking for stuff inside of the closest car.  
"I can siphon more fuel from these cars for a start," T-Dog said hopefully.  
"Maybe some water," my mum said.  
"Or food," I added.

"This is a graveyard," Lori said. "I don't know how I feel about this."

"You gotta do what you gotta do," I said simply with a shrug.  
"All right, just look around, gather what you can," Shane said.  
I walked next to Sophia, Carl, Lori and my mother. I found a bag in one of the cars and started to fill it with useful things as I looked inside some cars. I noticed my mum holding a nice blouse close to her body and slightly smiling at it.  
"Ed never let me wear nice things like this," she told Lori, which was true. "We're gonna need clothes."

My father never let us wear nice clothes, not even for important events. If we were going to wear something fancy for a party or something he had to approve it first and if he said we couldn't wear them then we couldn't. We were also forbidden to have long hair, my hair never even touched my shoulders during my whole childhood, just like Sophia's hair.

As soon as I moved out of that house I let my hair grow, it was a symbolic way to represent my new freedom. I didn't got too nice clothes though, one because I didn't have the money and two because I didn't feel confident enough to wear them.

At the moment my blonde hair reached almost my mid-back, which I usually used to let it down but since the end of the world started, I often braided it or put it in a high ponytail or bun.  
"Hey, Carl, always within my sight, okay?" Lori told her son.

"Sophia, Cecilia, you too," my mother told us. I just rolled my eyes, annoyed I was being treated like a kid.

We had been looking for stuff for a while when I heard footsteps and saw Rick running towards us, his face said it all.

"Lori, under the cars," he told her. "Carl, Cecilia, Sophia, get down now."  
The three of us hurried and hid under the closest cars. Sophia and I got under one, Carl in the car next to us, Rick got under another and Lori dragged my mother under another car.

I started to hear the characteristic moans from the walkers and soon we just saw the feet of several of them, walking right next to the cars. I put an arm around Sophia, pulling her against my chest while I put my other over my mouth to keep from shouting or whimpering or any thing that could make a sound.

It had felt like hours and more walkers walked next to the cars, I thought it was just a matter of time before one of them found us but then I heard no more moans or saw them walking next us.

After some seconds of absolute silence I let my hand fall from my mouth and the other loosened around Sophia, who started to get out of under the car, making some noise in the process and then I heard moaning right behind me, I turned my head and sure enough one walker had spotted us. I screamed and pushed Sophia in the other direction because I was trapped, if she didn't hurry I would be killed.

Sophia hurried and stood up, I rolled to my left away from that thing and also stood up and ran after Sophia. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. We went over the guard rail and crawled down this little hill, towards the woods.

We ran as fast as we could but it seemed like these things were faster than I could ever imagine. They were right behind us, I could hear their heavy footsteps and their annoying moaning but I didn't dare look back.

"Come on, come on!" I yelled as Sophia tripped and fell to the ground. I grabbed her hand and pulled her up as fast as I could and we started to run again but soon I bumped into someone. I tried to scream and hit whoever it was in the chest.

"Shh, shh, it's me, Cecilia!" I heard Rick saying. "Are you both okay?"

Sophia didn't answer she just kept trying to take Rick's gun and getting him to shoot them but Rick stopped her, telling her the noise would attract others. Rick picked Sophia up and carried her bridal style, while I just ran close to him. We got to a creek and that's when Rick put my sister down.

"All right, you stay there," Rick told us.  
"Wait," Sophia exclaimed.  
"Sophia, Cecilia, you have to do exactly as I say." I nodded at him. "Hide in there," he said pointing to a little cave, next to the water. "Squeeze in tight. I'll draw them away from you."  
"No no, don't leave us!" Sophia cried.  
"Listen, they don't get winded, I do. I can only deal with them one at a time." There were four after us. "I wouldn't be able to protect you. This is how we all survive. You understand?"

"I can help you," I told him.

"No," he said, turning to look at him. "Stay with your sister, keep her safe.

"Okay."

Rick then lowered his gaze, looking specifically at my silver-coloured gun that now was in my hand, I didn't even remember when I got it from my jeans. I probably did when we bumped into Rick because when Sophia fell, I wasn't holding it yet.

"Don't use that unless it's absolutely necessary, do you understand? Keep safe, okay? Here," he said and gave me a knife. "Now go in there."

I got in first, then Sophia, I knelt inside, making the water reached my middle thigh. The roots and branches hid us really well and hopefully if something walked in front us, they wouldn't be able to see or smell us.  
"If I don't make it back, run back to the highway, back to the others, straight the way we came," Rick told us. "Keep the sun on your left shoulder."

Right then we heard the moaning, Rick called them and made noise to attract them. Rick ran away and the walkers followed him. We couldn't see him anymore but we could still hear him calling them.

"What are you doing?" I hissed at Sophia as she crawled out of our hiding place with her doll in hand. "Rick said to stay here!"

"He said to go back to the highway," she said simply and started to walk away.

"Sophia! Sophia!" I whispered-shouted at her but she didn't listen to me.

I took a deep breath and crawled out of the little cave as well, going after her. I caught up with her and spun her around. I saw nothing besides fear in those beautiful brown eyes of her that I loved, I was ready to scold her for not listening to me but those eyes softened me and I just sighed.

I pat her shoulder and then I started to walk. Sophia was following close behind. As we walked back to the others I kept telling her she should listen to what adults say to her, told her we should have waited for Rick a bit longer and that it wasn't safe for us to be alone in the forest.

She replied the first few times but then she said nothing. I was just nervous about the whole situation, I didn't want to scold her, I just wanted to make things clear for her. I turned around to apologize but she wasn't there.

"Sophia!" I said a bit loud but not that loud, in case there were walkers close. "Oh, shit!"

I ran around the place, hoping I wasn't going in the opposite direction Sophia did. I didn't even know where I was going, all I cared about was finding her. I tightly held the knife Rick had given me earlier. I had never killed a walker by stabbing them in the head but I had no choice if I saw one now.

I had no idea how much time had passed, sweat was covering my whole body but still I didn't feel out of breath, the adrenaline kept me going until I saw her small figure.

"Sophia!" I shouted, making her turn around.

I ran to her and wrapped my arms around her as tight as I could, I almost lost her. I pulled away and gripped her shoulders, shaking her a bit.

"What were you thinking?" I exclaimed, I was so upset at her, at me for losing her, at those things, at the whole world. I didn't notice but I was crying by then. "I thought I lost you!"

"I'm sorry," she muttered as one tear rolled down her freckled face. "I heard something and got scared."

"Why didn't you tell me? You just ran off! You can't do that kind of stuff! Imagine how I would feel if something happened to you! I can't lose you!"

I saw my surroundings and I started to freak out, I had no idea where I was or where I should go. Rick said something but I couldn't remember, keep the sun on your right or left shoulder? What was it?

I asked Sophia if she remembered but she just shook her head. I grabbed her hand to make sure she wouldn't run away again. I turned around and walked in the direction I thought had come from, while I looked for Sophia I ran in circles, I ran in every direction and I couldn't remember the right way back, but if we were lucky enough we would find our way back or bump into Rick.

Exhaustion was kicking in, we had been walking for a really long time and still nothing. I was sure I hadn't run that much so it could only mean that we were lost.

The sun was starting to go down and I was so scared, I put a strong face for Sophia's sake but I probably was more scared than her.

"Look!" Sophia said, pointing at something a bit to our left. I looked in that direction and saw a wooden house. I smiled a bit but cautiously walked there.

I knocked on the door but nothing, I knocked a second time and nothing again. I opened the door and cautiously looked in every room, in every corner of the house for people and for walkers, the house was empty.

"We'll stay the night here," I told her. "First thing tomorrow we will go out there and find our way back, they won't leave us. Rick, Dale, Teresa, Oliver... mum, they won't leave us, do you understand?"

"Yeah." She nodded.

Before it went completely dark, I looked for things around the house that could help us. I found canned food in the kitchen and some blankets and sweaters upstairs. I gave Sophia a sweater, which was way too big for her, and a blanket and ordered her to hide in a closet that was in the kitchen. If something came in here she would be safe.

"Take this," I said, giving her a second can of tuna.

"What about you?"

"You know I'm allergic to that, it will only be for tonight. I'll be fine, okay? I have gone to bed with an empty stomach before, no big deal. You eat it, alright?"

"Cici?" She said simply. "Why did you leave us?"

I stared at her in shock. I left home only two months before I turned seventeen. My grades were perfect and I graduated a year earlier, maybe that's why no one suspected something was wrong in my life. I had escaped so many times from my house but my parents always reported it to the police and they dragged me back to my house, where my father would beat me for leaving.

That time I got the courage to talk to him and tell him that if he let me leave he would have more money for himself and more space in the house, after three hours he agreed to let me go.

"I'm sorry," I muttered. What else could I say to her? That I left her because I couldn't take it anymore, that I was just thinking about myself and just ran? "But I'm not leaving you now, I promise."

"Do you think they will find us?" she asked me.

"I do," I said, even when I had my doubts. "They will find us. Daryl, he, uh – he's good at tracking, I'm sure he will track us and find us. You'll see!"

"Do you like him?"

"What?" I asked in shock. "No, of course not! Don't be silly. Why do you ask, anyway?"

"You used his tent, you preferred to share a room with him than us in that place," Sophia told me, slightly shuddering as she mentioned the CDC. "And it seemed like you enjoy to be around him and Daryl is not nice to anyone but you."

"He's not nice to me either," I told her, remembering our countless arguments.

"He's less mean to you," she said with a knowing look. "He let you stay with him and..."

"Let me get this clear," I interrupted her. "Back at camp there was no space for me with you and mum and... and dad. Glenn was with Teresa and Oliver, I could only share with Daryl and he was kind enough to offer me to use his tent. And back at the CDC, I was upset at mum, it's stupid I know but I was, and I got a room and Daryl couldn't find another one so we had to share but that doesn't mean anything, do you understand?"

"Alright," she nodded, looking down at the floor. "Carl and I just thought that the two of you... I don't know, that you were with him."

"I'm not," I said with a small smile. "Why do you look so sad about it? Do you want me to be with him?"

"Yeah," she simply said making me a little bit shocked at her answer. Daryl was an adult, I was a lot younger than him, why would she want me to be with him?

"Why?"

"Because he can keep you safe," she said as she stared right into my light blue eyes, the same eyes my mother has.

"I can keep myself safe," I told her after I recovered from her statement.

"Yeah, for how long?" she asked.

She probably said that because she had no idea what I had learnt when I moved to New York but still, her words made an effect on me.

It had been hours since I ordered Sophia to get inside the closet and hide in there, she had fallen asleep not long after our talk. I woke her up a couple of times because she was having nightmares but I ordered her to go back to sleep.

" _Because he can keep you safe."_

Her words echoed in my head for hours. They had a lot of meaning behind them. All of this had become just about surviving, nothing else mattered.

I let out a small chuckle at the thought of her and Carl gossiping about Daryl and me, making up stuff that weren't even happening.

Then sorrow and a feeling of being hopeless invaded me. We were all alone now and I wasn't sure if we were going to be found, and either way. if we were found or not, how long would I survive out there? Some months, a year? Would they find a cure for this? Based on Jenner, they didn't even know what had happened and they were even farther from finding a way to solve it.

I started to cry. I was scared, of dying, of losing my sister, of being alone and right now I was scared of the darkness.

A part of me wished Sophia to be with our mother, with Rick. They would keep her safe, at least safer than I could ever do. I was just a few years older than her and me against thousands of walkers… well, that was a hopeless and unfair fight. I just ran away from four today, I just ran. But what if we were trapped and couldn't run? I wasn't sure if I would be fast enough to kill them all before they got to me... to her.

What if I run out of ammo? What if I lose the knife? What if I fall and twist my ankle? What if I don't find food and keep getting weaker and weaker? All the odds were against us.

If we didn't find the others I had no idea how much longer I would be able to protect us and keep alive and that made my heart break. Silent tears fell down my blue eyes as I looked at the closet where Sophia was sleeping.

Guilt overwhelmed me then. This was all my fault. Why didn't I just grabbed Sophia and pulled her back into our hiding place? Why did I let her walk behind me, out of my sight? Why couldn't I just remember the simple instructions Rick gave us? I was the older one, I was the one in charge. Sophia's just a kid, I should have taken better choices. I shouldn't have let fear taken over me. This was all my fault, this was all on me.

"I'm sorry," I muttered. "I'm sorry."

I rested my head against the counter behind me and kept crying until I had no strength left to even cry and I felt drowsy and for just a second I let myself close my eyes... and eventually fell asleep.

QOTD: Do you ship Richonne or Ressie?


	8. Chapter 8 - Alone

"Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart."  
― José N. Harris, _MI VIDA: A Story of Faith, Hope and Love_

The group had looked for the two missing girls without rest. The trail went cold the first day. They all went into the woods the following day but had no luck either.

Carol was a complete mess. Her husband died some days ago then her two girls, the people she loved the most, were gone. She kept her hopes up, though, or at least tried to. She was going to find them, she couldn't give up on them now, she had done that her whole life. They needed her more than ever now.

It had been more than twenty-four hours now since they went missing and some people were starting to lose hope, especially Shane, Oliver and Sean.

Unfortunately the search had to be stopped. Carl had been accidentally shot by a man named Otis, who was hunting a deer.

The man told Rick to take him to Hershel, an old man in his early seventies. Rick had no choice but to take his boy there.

The place where Hershel lived with his two daughters, Jimmy, Otis and his wife, Patricia, was perfect, it was like taken out of a dream. It seemed like nothing bad had happened there, like if the place was immune to the apocalypses. It looked like what the world looked before all of this happened.

But Rick didn't notice any of that, he was scared to death about his boy. He kept bleeding and came in and out of consciousness.

One of Hershel's daughter was kind enough to offer to go look for Rick's wife. He needed her, he wasn't strong enough to do this on his own.

Shane and Otis had left to a school to find medical supplies Hershel needed to do a surgery on Carl to remove the six fragments of the bullet.

It was already getting dark again when Glenn and Teresa had to take T-Dog to the farm. He had cut his arm really bad with one of the cars when he hid from the walkers on the road. He had a blood infection and he was going to die if he didn't find antibiotics and soon.

Andrea, Dale, Oliver, Sean, Daryl and Carol stayed in the highway, inside the RV, in case the girls came back. It would be devastating for them to be able to get back and find out the group, especially their mother, had left them. They couldn't do that to them.

Daryl was the guy who didn't give a crap about anyone. He was rude and wasn't afraid to speak his mind. But deep inside, he cared. He was worried about the two girls and he really wanted to find them, he just couldn't leave them and give up. Some people were starting to lose hope but not him.

He even went out to look for them on the second night, Andrea joined him but not to look for them, she just wanted to get away, she needed some time to think things through.

Only a few miles away, Shane had successfully come back with the medical stuff that Hershel needed, but unfortunately Otis didn't make it back.

Carl's surgery was a complete success, even when Hershel was just a veterinarian. Meanwhile, Patricia and Maggie, Hershel's oldest daughter helped T-Dog with his injury. Some of Merle's pills for the clap saved his life.

The following day they all woke up very early. Dale finally drove to the farm to meet the others. Glenn drove the car Shane had fixed back in the highway while Daryl drove the motorcycle and Oliver drove his own car.

"How is he?" Dale asked.

"He'll pull through, thanks to Hershel and his people," Lori answered him with a smile.

"And Shane," Rick added. "We'd have lost Carl if not for him."

"Thank God," Carol exclaimed as she gave Lori a hug. "We were so worried."  
"How did it happen?" Dale asked.

"Hunting accident," Rick said. "That's all. Just a stupid accident."

After that they all walked further into the farm to have a funeral for Otis. The day was really beautiful, the sky was cloudless and the temperature was quite high. It was such a shame they had to do a funeral on a day like that.

Some people, like Teresa, Glenn, Carol and Daryl, understood it was just the honourable thing to do but they were more than eager to go out into the woods and go look for Cecilia and Sophia. The others were just losing hope of ever finding them.  
Hershel did a prayer for this man, Otis. Most of the people there didn't even met him but they paid their respects. Then, Hershel asked Shane to say a few words.  
"I'm not good at it. I'm sorry."  
"You were the last one with him," Patricia, his wife, said to Shane. "You shared his final moments. Please I need to hear. I need to know his death had meaning."  
"Okay. We were about done, almost out of ammo. We were down to pistols by then. I was limping. It was bad," Shane told them. "Ankle all swollen up. 'We've got to save the boy.' See, that's what he said. He gave me his backpack. He shoved me ahead. He said, 'I'll take the rear. I'll cover you'. And when I looked back... If not for Otis, I'd have never made it out alive. And that goes for Carl too. It was Otis. He saved us both. If any death ever had meaning, it was his."

The funeral was over now and now they had to focus on the girls. Daryl, Shane, Andrea, Lori, Rick and Hershel gathered around Carol's Cherokee, using the surface of the car's hood to put the map Hershel had given them.

"How long has these girls been lost?" Hershel asked.

"This will be day three," Rick told him.  
"County survey map," Maggie informed as he set the map on the car. "Shows terrain and elevations."  
"This is perfect," Rick said. "We can finally get this thing organized. We'll grid the whole area, start searching in teams."  
"Not you. Not today," Hershel told him. "You gave three units of blood. You wouldn't be hiking five minutes in this heat before passing out. And your ankle," he said now to Shane. "Push it now, you'll be laid up a month, no good to anybody."  
"Guess it's just me," Daryl said. "I'm gonna head back to the creek, work my way from there."  
"I can still be useful," Shane exclaimed. "I'll drive up to the interstate, see if Sophia and Cecilia wandered back."  
"All right, tomorrow then," Rick told them. "We'll start doing this right."

"That means we can't have our people out there with just knives. They need the gun training we've been promising them," Shane told Rick.  
"I'd prefer you not carrying guns on my property," Hershel spoke up. "We've managed so far without turning this into an armed camp."  
"All due respect, you get a crowd of those things wandering in here..."

"Look, we're guests here," Rick said, interrupting Shane. "This is your property and we will respect that."

Rick then put his gone on top of the car, with a sigh, Shane did the same. He wasn't really happy about it.  
"First things first: Set camp, find Sophia and Cecilia," Rick said.  
"I hate to be the one to ask, but somebody's got to," Shane exclaimed. "What happens if we find them and one of them or both are bit? I think we should all be clear on how we handle that."  
"You do what has to be done," Rick said with sorrow.  
"And their mother? What do you tell her?" Maggie asked.

"The truth," Andrea replied.  
"I'll gather and secure all the weapons. Make sure no one's carrying till we're at a practice range off site," Shane commented. "I do request one rifleman on lookout. Dale's got experience."  
"Our people would feel safer, less inclined to carry a gun," Rick added and Hershel nodded after a few seconds. "Thank you."

"Daryl," Rick called as the brown-haired man walked out with his crossbow on his shoulder. "You okay on your own? I heard Teresa, Oliver and Sean will look for them as well."

"They are just a bunch of teenagers, I'm better on my own. I'll be back before dark."  
"Hey, we got a base. We can get this search properly organized now."  
"You got a point or are we just chatting?"

"My point is it lets you off the hook," Rick told him."You don't owe us anything."  
"My other plans fell through," Daryl simply said and walked away.

Maggie and Glenn prepared to go on a run to get antibiotics, bandages and medical stuff. They went into town, to a pharmacy that wasn't that far.

Dale and T-Dog were going to fill some containers with water and then Dale was going to be on lookout, Lori and Rick had to stay close to Carl, who was out of danger but still was in and out of consciousness. Andrea and Shane cleaned the guns. Daryl had already left to go looking for the girls, Teresa, Oliver and Sean were going to look for Cecilia and Sophia as well when something back at the farm happened.

There was a walker in one of the wells and they couldn't just leave it there. It was so disgusting, his body was all swollen up.

"Looks like we've got us a swimmer," Dale commented as everyone gathered around the well.  
"How long you think it has been down there?" Oliver asked.

"Long enough to grow gills," Andrea said.

"We can't leave it in there," Lori said. "God knows what it's doing to the water."  
"We got to get it out," Shane said.  
"Easy. Put a bullet in its head," Sean commented.  
"It's a stupid plan," Andrea said. "If that thing hasn't contaminated the water yet, blowing its brains out will finish the job."  
"She's right. Can't risk it," Shane said.  
"So it has to come out alive?" T-Dog asked.

"So to speak," Shane told him.  
"How do we do that?" Glenn asked.

Unfortunately for Glenn, they came up with a plan that concerned him. They tied a rope around his waist and the other end to a pole. And now they were going to make him go all the way down so he would wrap a rope around his body and take the walker out of the well. Easy...not.

"We're gonna get you out of here in one piece," Shane assured Glenn.  
"Living piece," Glenn said. "That living part is important."  
Everything was going good until the poll fell and made Glenn go down more than expected. No matter how hard they tried they couldn't pull him up at first. For about two eternal minutes they couldn't pull him up until they finally started to pull the rope and slowly they got him out.  
"Are you okay?" Lori asked as she knelt next to the Korean boy, who was hysteric at first.

"Back to the drawing board," Dale commented.  
"Says you," Glenn said, giving Dale a part of the rope. Somehow Glenn managed to get the rope around the walker.  
All of them started to pull except T-Dog because of his injury. He was even heavier than Glenn so it took more effort and more time to get it out. The had pulled the walker all the way up, he was now on the edge of the well, they needed a bit more effort to pull it a bit further but it got stuck. They pulled with more strength, giving everything they had to pull and then they felt like if what they were pulling didn't weigh at all and fell backwards and it was because the walker's lower body had fell back into the well, but the other part, the head and the arms and the chest, was right next to them, snarling.

"We should seal off this well," Dale finally suggested.

"Yeah, that might be a good idea," Shane agreed.

"So what do we do about..." Andrea was asking when T-Dog started to hit the walker in the head with a pickaxe. Maggie almost threw up right then, it was the first time she saw how someone killed a walker.

"Good thing we didn't do anything stupid like shoot it," T-Dog said sarcastically and walked away, just after Maggie. Soon enough, the others followed them.  
Finally Glenn and Maggie could go on their run to the pharmacy, they got two horses and left while Carol, Shane and Andrea had driven back to the highway. They had written on the glass of a car the words 'CICI, SOPHIA STAY HERE WE WILL COME EVERY DAY'.

"We'll come again tomorrow," Andrea told Carol as she put an arm on her shoulder. "You know there's always the chance..."

"Don't," Carol interrupted her. "I really don't need to hear it anymore, Andrea. Save the thoughts and prayers." Andrea nodded sadly and walked away.

"You never know, Carol!" Shane spoke up from behind her but Carol stopped him, raising her hand. He also walked away, limping. Leaving Carol alone for a few minutes, she needed that.

A few miles away from them, Daryl spotted a white farm house. Carefully he went inside, his crossbow ready if anything was there.

He saw an empty can of tuna on a trash bin, he smelled it and he could tell whoever ate that, didn't eat it that long ago. A day or two at the most.

Then he saw a closet, the door were half opened. He opened the door fully and saw a blanket and a pillow inside, only a kid could fit inside. Right in front of the closet he saw another blanket and pillow, meaning a second person had slept there. As he looked more thoroughly, he found a little Cartman earring next to the blanket, he knew that belonged to Cecilia, he had seen her wearing them, surprising him, he never thought Cecilia to be the kind of girl to like South Park and well, Daryl wasn't the type of man to notice that kind of stuff but somehow that caught his attention only about a week after he met her.

But just finding that made him feel hope filling him once again, he was sure the girls had been there. He picked up the small earring and put it inside his pocket.

After searching the whole house, every corner of it, looking for them and looking for more proof that they had been there, he walked outside and looked around him.

"Sophia!" he shouted. "Cecilia!"

He kept calling them until he noticed something peculiar in front of the house. A white flower. He cut it and grabbed it.

About an hour later Daryl went back to the farm, he didn't find the girls but he had found the flower. Daryl went into the RV, looking for Carol. The first thing he noticed was that the RV was spotless, everything was in their place, the dishes were clean and put on a pile, there was no mess there for once. Daryl walked to the very back of the RV and sure enough Carol was there, knitting.

"I cleaned up," she told him when she saw him. "Wanted it to be nice for them."  
"For a second I thought I was in the wrong place," Daryl said, attempting a joke.

Daryl then put an empty beer bottle on the counter, it was serving as a vase to the flower he had found earlier.  
"A flower?" Carol asked a bit surprised.

"It's a Cherokee rose," he told her. "The story is that when American soldiers were moving Indians off their land on the trail of tears the cherokee mothers were grieving and crying so much 'cause they were losing their little ones along the way from exposure and disease and starvation.  
A lot of them just disappeared. So the elders, they said a prayer; asked for a sign to uplift the mothers' spirits, give them strength and hope," Daryl said, making a short pause. "The next day this rose started to grow right where the mothers' tears fell. I'm not fool enough to think there's any flowers blooming for my brother. But I believe this one bloomed for your girls."

By then Carol had tears in her eyes, she wanted to thank him but she was afraid her voice would break. Daryl understood and turned around to leave then he stopped, turned to look at Carol and said, "They are gonna really like it in here," before walking out of the RV.

Deep inside the woods, Cecilia found herself tired, hungry, cold and alone. After the first night, when they found the house, she woke up around 9:00 in the morning to find out her little sister was nowhere in sight.

She checked every corner of the house at least five times before running out of there. Most of the times she just ran frantically around the woods, trying to find her and just a few times she dared to call out for her but she never got a reply.

She didn't stop running until it was getting dark. She knew it wouldn't help to keep looking for Sophia in the dark. So that night, she had to climb a tree and sleep there. She had randomly ran all day and she would be extremely lucky if she remembered or found the way back to the house.

She knew sleeping in the tree was dangerous, she could fall in her sleep but she didn't have a rope to tie herself around the tree but luckily it wasn't that tall. If she fell she wouldn't die or hurt herself that bad.

She hadn't brought a blanket with her but she was smart enough to wrap the sweater around her waist, the days were hot but the nights were cold, she was more than grateful to have the sweater at the moment.

The following day was not different. She was running out of energy and her will to keep on, it had been days since she had last eaten something. Running had taken a toll on her and she knew it, she could feel how hard it was even to just walk. She jogged for a few minutes before she just had to stop to catch her breath before jogging again.

No food, no water, running, not getting a good sleep and this heat made everything against Cecilia. She was drenched in sweat, she was getting dehydrated and fast.

It was around 4:00 in the afternoon when her legs gave in and she fell to the ground. Everything went black for a few seconds and her head was spinning, slowly she managed to sit up.

"I'm sorry," she muttered.

Cecilia started to cry, her body was failing her. She wanted to stand up and run and look for her sister but she couldn't. There was nothing she could eat in there and if she kept like that, she was going to lose the battle. She was lucky there was some water in the house but she was too scared for Sophia she didn't think to take a bottle, she just grabbed her gun and knife.

Cecilia walked around for two more hours but at a very slow pace and she had to take breaks very often because she would black out or get dizzy.

During that third night by herself, she climbed another tree. She had found a rope earlier and took it. She tied it around her body and the tree so she wouldn't fall.

But for hours she didn't sleep, she just cried and thought about Sophia and the others in the group, hoping they were all okay.

She also thought about the gunshot she heard during the second day. She was so tempted to go in the direction the noise came from but she knew no one of her group would be dumb enough to shoot, not when a big herd of those things walked through the highway just before they went missing, so it had to be someone else and she didn't want to risk herself. What if they weren't good people? It scared her.

But now she was regretting that decision. They could have helped her, maybe give her some water and food, maybe even help her find her group and Sophia but there she was, up on a tree by her own.

It was not until around midnight that she finally fell asleep, only to have nightmares of losing Sophia over and over again and her dying. She also dreamt of every member of her group and all of them died and turned into the monsters that now control the world.

First was Rick, then Shane, Dale, Lori, Andrea, Glenn, Teresa, Oliver, Sean, T-Dog, Carl, Daryl and lastly, her mother. She even dreamt with the dead ones, Jim, Amy, Jacqui, Jenner, her father.

Everyone died and turned and now they were chasing her, trying to bite her, to eat her. Everyone.

Hello guys! I have written this story until the people at the prison get sick and I still haven't watched Season 5 and I need to if I want to keep writing this, do you know of any site besides Netflix where I could watch it?

How has been your friday? Went shopping today? My grandma bought me two Under Armour shorts! :D

QOTD: Who is your favourite character from TWD and who is your least favourite?


	9. Chapter 9 - Hallucinations

"Hope is not about proving anything. It's about choosing to believe this one thing,

that love is bigger than any grim, bleak shit anyone can throw at us."

― Anne Lamott, _Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith_

"Morning, guys. Let's get going. We've got a lot of ground to cover," Rick said. "All right, everyone's getting new search grids today."

They had all gathered around the car again, setting the map on top of it. Daryl, T-Dog, Andrea, Shane and Rick were going to look for them today.

"If they made it as far as the farmhouse Daryl found, they might have gone further east than we've been so far," Rick said.

"I'd like to help," Jimmy spoke up, apparently he was dating Beth, Hershel's youngest daughter. "I know the area pretty well and stuff."

"Hershel's okay with this?" Rick asked him.

"Yeah, he said I should ask you."

"All right then, thanks."

"Nothing about what Daryl found screams Sophia or Cecilia to me," Shane exclaimed.

"I found Cecilia's earring!" Daryl exclaimed angrily, he had already explained that to them.

"It could belong to anyone, how do you even know it's hers?" Shane asked. "Anyone could have been holed up in that farmhouse."

"Anybody includes them, right?" Andrea asked him.

"Whoever slept in that cupboard was no bigger than yay-high," Daryl told the others. "And I could tell two people were there."

"It's a good lead," Andrea said.

"Maybe we'll pick up their trail again." Rick said.

"No maybe about it," Daryl told him. "I'm gonna borrow a horse, head up to this ridge right here, take a bird's-eye view of the whole grid, if they are up there, I'll spot them."

"Good idea," T-Dog told him. "Maybe you'll see your chupacabra up there too."

"Chupacabra?" Rick asked incredulously.

"You never heard this? Our first night in camp, Daryl tells us that the whole thing reminds him of a time when he went squirrel hunting and he saw a chupacabra," Dale said, making Jim chuckle.

"What are you braying at, jackass?" Daryl exclaimed.

"You believe in a blood-sucking dog?"

"Do you believe dead people walking around?" Daryl shot back. _Touché._

Then Jim tried to grab the rifle that was on the car, in front of Rick, who stopped the boy from taking it.

"Hey, hey! Ever fire one before?"

"Well, if I'm going out, I want one," Jimmy said.

"Yeah, and people in hell want slurpees," Daryl said sarcastically, starting to walk into the woods.

"Why don't you come train tomorrow?" Shane told Jimmy. "If you're serious, I'm a certified instructor."

"For now he can come with us," Andrea said.  
"He's yours to babysit then," Shane told her.

Each group had to nail a coloured cloth into some of the trees as they passed by, just to let others know someone had already checked that part and in case the girls were around, maybe they would take the hint and know that their group was still looking for them.

Rick and Shane went together and their coloured cloths were red, Andrea's and T-Dog's were light blue.

As they were there, something unusual happened. Shane and Rick heard a noise. Rick went ahead to check, Shane had his rifle ready, in case of something, but the unusual thing was that he was pointing it at Rick. Dale saw the whole thing, he knew Shane wasn't to be trusted, especially after what happened to Otis.

Something in his story just didn't fit. The man died trying to cover for him and Shane returns with his gun? That doesn't really makes much sense.

A bit far from there, Daryl was going on a horse, killing a couple of squirrels on the way. He was close to another part of the creek when he saw something. He got down and walked there, as he got closer, he realized it was a doll, Sophia's doll.

He could feel his heart beating faster as he took the doll in his hands, feeling encouraged to keep with the search.

"Sophia! Sophia!" he shouted. "Cecilia!"

No luck. He decided to get on the horse again and go higher so he could see from up there. Everything was quiet and calmed, nothing could go wrong.

Then the horse got all nervous and jumpy, Daryl tried to calm it down but it made no difference. The horse stood only on his two back legs, making Daryl flying off of him.

Unfortunately for Daryl he fell right next to the edge of a cliff, he painfully rolled down until he ended up back in the creek.

As soon as he stopped rolling, he felt a piercing pain in his left side. An arrow had gone through him, somehow, during the fall, the water around him was turning all red.

"Son of a bitch!" he exclaimed as he reached for his side.

Daryl crawled to the riverside and ripped the sleeves of his shirt, wrapping them tightly enough around his torso to slow down the bleeding.

It was a long way back to the top but Daryl had to get back up there. It would be faster that way. But before climbing up, he looked in the water for his crossbow, with the help of a stick he found it and soon as he got it back he started to climb.

It wasn't easy and he was in a lot of pain but Daryl kept going up, supporting himself with the stick he used to find his crossbow.

Almost at the top, Daryl grabbed a branch, he slipped and the branch snapped, and down he went... again.

But this time it was worse, he was already in so much pain because of the first fall, now everything hurt twice as bad. He even hit his head, almost making him go unconscious. Weakly he opened his eyes and saw his brother, crouching over him.

Daryl's POV

"Why don't you pull that arrow out, dummy?" I heard my brother's voice saying to me. I could see his blurry face right above mine. "You could bind your wound better."  
"Merle," I muttered, feeling relief. He grinned.  
"What's going on here? You taking a siesta or something?"

"A shitty day, bro," I told him.  
"Like me to get your pillow? Maybe rub your feet?"

"Screw you!"  
"You're the one screwed from the looks of it," he told me, laughing slightly at me. "All them years I spent trying to make a man of you, this is what I get? Look at you! Lying in the dirt like a used rubber. You're gonna die out here, brother, and for what?"

"Two girls," I told him. "They lost two girls."  
"So you got a thing for little girls now?" Merle asked me and all I wanted was to punch him in the face but I could barely talk, much less move.

"Shut up."  
"Cause I noticed you ain't out looking for old Merle no more."  
"Tried like hell to find you, bro," I told him, remembering when I went back to Atlanta and I just found his fucking hand lying on the ground.  
"Like hell you did," he exclaimed sarcastically.

Merle kept telling me I abandoned him but I didn't, I went after him. I looked for him but he was the one who left, as usual.

"You his bitch now?" he asked me.

"I ain't nobody's bitch."  
"You're a joke is what you are, playing errand boy to a bunch of pansy-asses, niggers and democrats. You're nothing but a freak to them. Redneck trash. That's all you are. They're laughing at you behind your back. You know that, don't you?" he said to me with a smirk. "I got a little news for you, son. One day they gonna scrape you off their heels like you was dogshit, no one cares about you. No one! Not Rick, not these two little girls."

I tried to tell him Cecilia did care about me, Rick cared about me but I was starting to get very drowsy again. I felt my eyes getting really heavy, they were closing.  
"Hey!" Merle exclaimed. He put an arm on my chest and shook me. "They ain't your kin, your blood. Hell, you had any damn nuts in that sack of yours, you'd got back there and shoot your pal Rick in the face for me." I tried to hear him but I was drowsy, I could barely keep my eyes open. "Now you listen to me. Ain't nobody ever gonna care about you except me, little brother. Nobody ever will. Not Rick, not this Cecilia girl, so you better stop looking for her, she won't give a damn."

How did he knew? Did I mention her name? Did I tell her she was one of the girls missing? Did I? I was sure I didn't but in my state maybe I did and I didn't remember.  
"Come on, get up on your feet before I have to kick your teeth in." he stood up, I tried to move but I couldn't. He grabbed my feet and tugged at them but still I could barely keep conscious. "Let's go!"  
I felt him tugging harder and I heard moans, that's when I finally reacted. Merle vanished immediately and I saw a walker trying to eat my feet, I kicked him right in the face, getting him away from me.

I tried to grab my crossbow but I couldn't reach it. The walker jumped on top of me and I felt how the adrenaline kicked in. I punched him several times and threw him off of me.

I stood up quickly and grabbed a stick. I pushed him to the ground, got on top of it and hit his face with the stick repeatedly and then I stabbed it with it.

I had to hurry because another walker was approaching. I had no choice but to take the arrow out of my body, it hurt like a bitch but I was lucky I was more scared than in pain, so I focused on staying alive not on the pain.

I grabbed the crossbow, put the arrow in place and pointed at the walker that was just a foot away from me now. I shoot and the walker landed on the ground next to me.

I let my head fall to the ground and I panted heavily. I closed my eyes for a second and I could swear I went unconscious for some seconds, maybe even a few minutes but nothing happened to me while I was out.

I sat up, took off my shirt, leaving me in just my under shirt, and wrapped it around my torso as well.

"Son of a bitch was right," I muttered as something inside of me just snapped. I wasn't feeling like myself anymore.

I got the squirrel I shot earlier and cut it open, I ate its raw guts to regain some of my strength. I also tied the doll on my jeans, I couldn't lose one of the few leads I had gotten from those girls. Then I took a shoe lace, cut the walkers' ears, put the ears in the shoe lace, made a knot and put it over my neck.

I turned around and that's when I saw something I really didn't expect. On the other side of the creek was a blonde girl with a shocked expression on her face. She looked frail and like she was going to faint at any moment.

"Daryl?" I heard her say.

She walked into the water, shortening the distance between us. I just shook my head at her. This just couldn't be her, I was just having hallucinations again, that's it.

"Go away," I told her.

"What?" she asked confused.

"I need to get back, I need to take care of my wound, get more arrows, eat something," I told her. "So I can find you for real."

"What are you talking about?"

"I should look so stupid, talking to no one. First Merle and now you, I must have hit my head harder than I thought." I looked at every direction but not at her, this wasn't real.

"What the hell are you wearing?" she asked me as she stared at the ears hanging from my neck.

"None of your business," I spat. "Now, excuse me but I need to get back."

"Daryl, where is my mum? Is she okay?"

I looked at her right into her light blue eyes then, and one part of me wanted to believe she was actually standing right in front of me but I couldn't fool myself again. She looked so real but Merle did as well, besides, if she were really here, where was Sophia? That was an important clue to tell this Cecilia wasn't the real Cecilia.

"Just go away, vanish or something," I exclaimed angrily now. "I can't lose more time. You are not really here, you are not. Maybe if I say it out loud I won't see you anymore."

"Are you alright?"

"I just saw and talked to Merle a few minutes ago and now I'm talking to you, I'm probably losing my mind, does that sound alright to you?" I spat.

I started to walk away from her and get my stuff, I looked behind me to see if she was gone but Cecilia was still there. I took a deep breath to calm myself.

"Look, I don't know what your problem is but I just want to see my mum, and maybe drink some water."

You know how people move their hands in the air to disperse the fog or in movies to make a ghost go away? Well, I was going to try that, maybe it could work. I raised my hand and I was expecting it to go right through Cecilia's body but it didn't, it just bumped into it. The girl looked weirdly at me, wondering what the hell I was doing.

My heart skipped a bit, could it really be her? I put my hand on her shoulder and squeezed it without hesitation. She looked down at my hand with her eyebrows raised but said nothing. I stared in disbelief at her, I could feel her. I then raised my hand a little bit and rested it against her cheek, rubbing it with my thumb. I could still feel her, she hadn't vanished yet. I could even feel her hot breath on my hand, making everything eveb more real.

"Cici," I exclaimed and before I knew it, I wrapped my arms around her. She was too shocked she didn't hug me back at first, but slowly and a bit awkwardly, she wrapped her hands around my waist, just under my injury, and at that moment I was completely sure it was really her. I had found Cecilia and now she was safe and sound.

This time I was more determined to get to the top, not only because of me but also because of Cecilia. We started to climb just after I gave her some of my water.

I could tell she was really weak, and she looked really bad. She had dark bags under her eyes, which were a bit puffy and red, her hair was a complete mess, she had dirt all over her body and clothes, and she looked like she had lost ten pounds since the last time I saw her.

While we climbed, I had to help her up a few times, even when the pain was almost not bearable when I had to pull her up. I could see how this was exhausting for her, she breathed hard the whole time and at some points she had to take breaks because she said she had blacked out, which meant I had to hurry, what if she faints from the top? She could hurt herself very bad and I was in no condition to carry her, she could also die from the fall. So I made her go ahead of me, if she lost consciousness at least I would be behind her to catch her or something.

"Please, don't feed the birds," I heard when we were almost at the top. The two of us had stopped to take a needed break. I turned to look up and Merle was there. "What's the matter, Darylina? That all you got in you? Throw away that purse and climb."  
"I liked it better when you was missing," I told him.  
"What?" Cecilia asked me, I just shook my head at her.  
"Come on, don't be like that, just because you found her you are now treating me like shit, I'm on your side."  
"Yeah? Since when?" I asked him.

"Hell, since the day you were born, baby brother. Somebody had to look after your worthless ass," he said to me.  
"You never took care of me. You talk a big game but you was never there," I told him. "Hell, you ain't here now. Guess some things never change."  
"Well, I'll tell you what, I'm as real as your chupacabra."  
"I know what I saw!" I exclaimed, getting tired of everyone not believing me.  
"And I'm sure them shrooms you ate had nothing to do with it, right?"

"You'd best shut the hell up!" I shouted, trying to climb to the top so I could help Cecilia once I was there.  
"Or what? You're gonna come up here and shut my mouth for me? Well, come on and do it then, if you think you're man enough. Hey, kick off them damn high heels and climb, son." Merle taunted me. "You know what? If I were you I'd take a pause for the cause, brother. 'Cause I just don't think you're gonna make it to the top. You are gonna fail, you won't save this girl. You can't save her or even yourself."  
That pushed me, it made me so angry when he said I couldn't do something, especially something as important as to save Cecilia, so, with a final push, I got to the very top. But I couldn't rest, I had to help her. I offered her my hand, which she took. I pulled her up as agonizing pain shot through me, but I wouldn't give up. When she was finally right next to me, safe, I took a deep breath and let myself collapse to the ground, I felt like I was going to faint but she shook my body, not letting me slip.  
"Come on!" she told me as she stuck out her hand to me, I took it and somehow she pulled me up. "We need to get back, you keep losing blood."

Cecilia tried to get me to put an arm around her shoulders so she could support me as I took her to the farm but she was way too weak and I was too heavy for her. I tried to refuse but she insisted. I put my arm around her but tried not to put most of my weight on her, I knew she wouldn't be able to stand my weight, not in the conditions she was.

Together we made our way back to the farm, stumbling, tripping and even falling once or twice. But we made it. I could see the farm house in the distance as we walked out of the woods. I turned to look at her and saw she had a smile on her lips.

I removed my arm from around her shoulders, she gave me a questioning look but I just kept walking. We were close to the farm now, if I needed help someone else could help me, Rick or Shane, or even Glenn. She needed her strength.

I saw in front of me that four figures were running towards us, as they got closer I could tell it was Shane, Rick, T-Dog and Glenn and I also noticed they had weapons aimed at us. Cecilia was right behind me so at first they probably couldn't see her properly.

"Is that Daryl?" Glenn asked as they stopped a few feet away from us.

"That's the third time you've pointed that thing at my head," I exclaimed, looking at Rick who was pointing his gun at me. "You gonna pull the trigger or what?"

Rick lowered his gun and I could see the relief in their eyes. It was then when Cecilia stepped to the side, letting the group see her well. They all had their mouths opened in shock, Glenn looked like he was going to cry.

"Cici?" he asked but I couldn't hear him well because at that moment I felt a piercing pain in the side of my head and then I fell to the ground.

Cecilia's POV

Daryl was right beside me when he just fell. Rick started screaming and ran to him, followed by me. He had just been shot.

I knelt next to him, put my hand on his chest and started to shake his body as I started to cry. "Daryl! Daryl!"

"I was kidding," he muttered. I sighed in relief as Rick and Shane pulled him up, put his hands around themselves to carry him to the house.  
Glenn wrapped his arms around me but let go quickly. We wanted to follow the guys and see how Daryl was.

"Oh my God!" Andrea exclaimed as she ran towards us. "Oh my God, is he dead?"

"Unconscious," Rick told her. "You just grazed him."  
"But look at him, what the hell happened?" Glenn asked, looking from Daryl to me, and that's when Andrea finally noticed me. "He's wearing ears!"  
"Let's keep that to ourselves," Rick said and pulled the shoelace around his neck and threw it to the ground.  
"Guys, isn't this Sophia's?" T-Dog asked, picking up her doll. I felt my eyes watering when I saw it.

"What happened?" I could hear my mum's voice asked when she saw Daryl, she hadn't seen me. I was in the back of the group.

"Mum?" I spoke, making everyone looking at me. Lori, Dale, Teresa, Oliver and Sean, all gasped as soon as they saw me.

My mother's eyes filled with tears, she ran towards me and embraced me tightly. Rick and Shane continued to take Daryl into the house as more people approached me and asked me lots of things, I couldn't answer any of the question because when I tried to, another person asked something else. I started getting dizzy, so I just put my hands over my head as I closed my eyes.

"Guys, leave her alone!" Lori said. "Let's take her inside."

Sean approached me and didn't tell me anything, he just lifted me up and carried me inside while Lori and my mother hurried to get me some water and some food, but not much in case it could make my stomach upset.

Due to the fact people wanted to make sure I was okay and also for what happened to Daryl, people still hadn't asked about Sophia, I was dreading it. What was I supposed to tell them? That I lost her, that I left her all alone there?

"Eat slowly," Lori told me, setting a food with some food in front of me.

It was hard to eat slowly as Lori suggested me. I had stopped feeling hungry about a day ago but I felt consumed by hunger as soon as I saw the food and I tasted some of it. I just wanted to throw everything inside my mouth and if possible, eat the entire kitchen.

When I finished I was feeling like I hadn't eaten anything at all, I understood why they didn't want to give me more food right away but I still wanted some more. Instead I drank two glasses of glasses. Then Rick walked in.

"How is Daryl?" I asked him, speaking for the first time since I walked inside the house.

"He'll be alright," he told me, sitting right next to me. "How are you?"

"I'll be okay," I said nodding.

"I hate to be the one to ask you this but where is Sophia? Is she...?"

"I don't know," I muttered, feeling my eyes watering. I took a deep breath to calm myself. "We just spent the first night together. I woke up and... and she was gone."

"What do you mean?" my mother exclaimed.

"She was just gone, I tried to look for her but..." My voice broke, as the first tear fell down my face. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault," Rick told me. But my mother didn't, which made me think that it was. She just stormed out of the house, followed by Lori.

"I had to keep her safe," I told him. "I had to and I couldn't."

"Why don't we take her upstairs?" a brunette young woman around my age said before Rick could say something to me. "She needs a bath, it will help her calm down."

Rick helped me go upstairs to this woman's bathroom, she introduced herself as Maggie. Rick left and told us that if we needed him, we should just call him.

I sat on the toilet as tears fell down my face. Maggie knelt in front of me and asked me if I needed help, I slowly nodded.

It was really embarrassing to be half naked in front of a stranger. She helped me take off my shirt and jeans but left my underwear on, knowing that would be too much for me. She helped me inside the shower and she stayed to help me wash my body and hair. The water that was going down the drain kept being brown, I don't know how many times Maggie and I scrubbed my body until the water was clean but at the end my skin was all red and irritated but it felt good to finally be clean.

Once I was all clean, Maggie slid the curtains to not see when I took off my underwear. Then without looking she handed me a towel, I wrapped it around my body quickly and then Maggie helped me out out of the shower and led me into her room.

"Give me a second," she told me. "I think my clothes will be too loose on you, I will grab something from my sister."

Before I could tell her that was not necessary she left the room. I stood there in her room awkwardly, until she came back with a pair of sweatpants and a comfortable T-shirt. I smiled at her and thanked her. She left the room for five minutes to give me privacy when I dressed.

"You can sleep here," she told me once she walked back inside. "You need to rest."

"Can you take me to Daryl?" I asked her. "I need to know how he is."

"Okay."

Maggie grabbed my arm to steady me as we walked downstairs. She then led me to a room, she opened the room and told me to go inside, she also told me to call her if I need anything I thanked her and then she left.

Yay! Daryl found Cecilia! What do you think about that part? And what do you think that half of this chapter was in Daryl's POV? Should I do more?  
Who watched the episode of this week? I don't mean to sound heartless but I expected more deaths, I was sure Jesse and Sam were going to die, speaking of Sam, he's a bloody idiot, it will be a miracle if he doesn't die in the next episode.


	10. Chapter 10 - Companionship

"We don't meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our path for a reason."

-Unknown.

I walked into the room and saw Daryl lying on his good side, his back was facing me, which was covered by only a blanket. He lifted his head to see who had walked in and then rested it against the pillow once again.

"You almost look as pretty as I remember you," he mumbled as he closed his eyes, I felt my cheeks burn.

"Almost?" I asked with a small chuckle, trying to not freak out about what he said, I never thought Daryl of all people would ever compliment me or call me pretty.

"Well, you are clean now but you still look like shit."

"I bet I look better than you," I told him, sitting next to him on the bed, his back still facing me. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm good," he said. "I've been worse, believe me."

I put my hand on his shoulder, I could feel him slightly tense but he relaxed soon after. I smiled down at him.

"I never got the chance to thank you," I told him. "I would still be out there if it wasn't for you."

"It's nothing," he muttered, looking away from me.

"No, it's not nothing," I told him. "It means everything to me, I don't know how long I would have kept it up without water or food and being in danger all the time. You saved my life, Daryl."

"We saved each other," he whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing!" he exclaimed quickly.

"Come on, tell me!" I urged him, he sighed.

"I was about to give up, I was so close to fall unconscious again when I saw you, I fought for the two of us. I couldn't fail you."

"You didn't," I told him with a smile.

Then I leaned down, and carefully wrapped my arms around him, making sure I wouldn't hurt him, then I kissed his forehead, just under the bandage that was covering his cut from the bullet.

"I can't believe Andrea shot you," I exclaimed, feeling my blood boiling. "She could have killed you."

"I'm fine," he assured me, like if it wasn't a big deal.

"Can I ask you something?"

"What?" he snap, he was pretending to be annoyed by me but somehow I knew he really wasn't.

"What was going on when I found you? You said I should vanish or disappear. I admit I was a bit scared when you told me to go away and leave you alone. What was all that about?"

"I guess I hit my head quite hard when I fell the second time," he said with a sigh.

"You fell two times?" I asked in surprise.

"I saw Merle, he talked to me. I knew it was just in my head," he told me. "And then I saw you and I could swear you were another hallucination but you were your real you... you are here now."

"Yeah, I'm here now." I nodded. "Thanks to you."

"I was just lucky to be the one to find you."

"Don't be modest," I told him. "Lori told me you went out everyday to look... for us. You spent all the day, every day in the woods and I can't say how grateful I am to you for doing that."

"I had to do it. I couldn't sit on my ass just waiting for you to come back, I had to," he muttered. "Besides, I had nothing else to do."

"Thank you for that," I said. "Does it still hurt a lot?"

"I'm better now," he told me. "You should rest, you need it."

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay, I needed to," I told him.

"What happened out there?" Daryl asked me.

"I'll tell you later, okay? After we both rest." I started to feel a bit dizzy and very tired, I could feel my eyes closing and my head falling to the side.

"Ugh!" he exclaimed. "You can lie here but just this time, understand?"

"Yeah, got it."

I stood up and walked to the other side of the bed, lying down next to Daryl, his face was facing me now and I could feel his eyes on me, his gaze was so intense it made me a bit uncomfortable.

"Just close your eyes," he told me.

I closed my eyes and before I could enjoy the fact that I was not going to sleep on a tree but on a real bed and that I didn't have to sleep with an eye open just in case of a walker or because I might fall down the tree, I deeply fell asleep.

Daryl's POV

It has been a while since I woke up. Cecilia was still sleeping next to me. She looked so calmed and relaxed, her breathing was deep and steady. I could tell she hadn't slept like this in so long.

While she showered earlier I was told they didn't know what happened to Sophia, they told me what Cecilia had said and they thought it was very likely that she was dead but I refused to think like them.

I'm more than thrilled that I found Cecilia and that now she's safe but I have to go back out there, I need to find her sister, I need to find Sophia.

Then I heard the door being opened and saw it was Carol, she had a tray in her hands. She stood by the door, looking at me.

"How are you feeling?" she asked me.

"As good as I look."  
"I brought you two some dinner," Carol told me. "Maggie told me she was in here."

"Please don't think wrong of this, she came here to..."

"I get it," she interrupted me. "You saved her life, she just wanted to make sure you are okay. You must be starving," she added, changing the subject.

"A bit," I admitted.  
"You need to know something," she said, looking straight into my eyes with her own blue eyes that were identical to Cecilia's. "You did more for my little girl just today than her own daddy ever did in his whole life. You have done so much more for the two of them."  
"I didn't do anything Rick or Shane wouldn't have done," I muttered, shrugging it off.  
"I know," she told me. "You're every bit as good as them. Every bit."  
Carol then left and I almost scoffed. Me, good?That's something I had never been called before, it was weird and I got a whole new feeling when she told me that but I pushed it aside quickly.

I turned to look at the blonde girl lying next to me. She looked so calm that I wasn't sure if I should wake her up so she could eat. She needed to eat but she also needed to rest.

I sighed and decided to wake her up, she would love to eat something warm. She probably hadn't even eaten since she went missing. No doubt she looked so bad.

"Hey," I muttered softly, I almost rolled my eyes at myself and how much of a pussy I sounded. "Your mother brought us some food."

She instantly opened her eyes and sat up, she looked around trying to see what the danger was. Her beautiful blue eyes were filled with fear.

"It's okay, everything is okay. I'm sorry," I told her as I rubbed her shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"What is it?" she asked, her sleeping voice was so sexy...wait, what?

"We got food," I told her. "Still warm, I figured you would like to eat it while it's still warm, right?" She nodded.

Something as easy and turning around and grabbing the tray made my injury hurt like hell. I tried not to whine about it because of Cecilia but the pain was really bad. I set the tray in between us and sat up, so I would be more comfortable.

"Thanks," she whispered, grabbing a fork and starting to eat.

I noticed she started to eat really slow, then she barely chewed the food and just swallow it. I guess it must be normal after not eating in days.

"Woah, woah! Calm down!" I exclaimed. "It can make your stomach upset."

"Yeah, I got carried away," she muttered, blushing a bit.

I looked at her and my eyes landed on her ears. She had one Cartman earring in her left ear but her right one was empty, I slightly smiled, I knew that earring was hers. I had it back in my tent, not wanting to put it in my pocket and risk losing it, I should give it back to her soon.

"Here," I said when I noticed she had finished her food a few minutes later.

"I'm good."

"I'm full," I lied, putting some of my food in her plate. She smiled at me and whispered a 'thank-you'.

When we were both done, I grabbed the tray and was about to put it on the table next to the bed when Cecilia stopped me. She took it from my hands, stood up and put it on the table before walking back to the other side of the bed and sitting down on the same spot.

"How is it that we always end up together?" I said with a chuckle to break the silence. "First we shared the tent, then the room back at the CDC and now the bed."

"I don't know," she told me with a small smile. "It's just the way it has happened."

I nodded. "So, you told me you were going to tell me what happened in the last few days after we rested. We rested and we ate so I'm waiting." She sighed.

"Rick found us, he told us to stay hidden but Sophia wanted to get back to the road, to mum, Rick told us how. We were walking back there when I noticed she wasn't there. I freaked out and looked for her and I found her but I wasn't sure how to get back from there. I couldn't remember," she told me. "We found a house and stayed the night there, Sophia ate some tuna we found in there. We found blankets and sweaters to wear. I fell asleep and when I woke up she wasn't there."

Cecilia's lip started to tremble and her eyes started to water, and only a few seconds later a tear fell down her cheek. I had never comforted someone so I was a bit scared to do it wrong. I was unsure on what to do but I found myself putting a hand on her shoulder. She looked at me and offered me a small smile before looking down again.

"I looked for her all day, every day. But it wasn't enough."

Cecilia told me most of what happened during the four days she was missing. She told me all she did to find her sister. She told me how she had to climb trees and sleep there so walkers wouldn't eat her in her sleep. She also told me how she had to kill five walkers with her knife; it was the first time she had done that and I could tell she was affected by that.

"Did you eat or drink anything?" I asked her.

"There was some water in the house, I was lucky to drink enough because I had no access to water the next days and I hadn't eaten since the day I went missing," she told me. "There was tuna in the house but I'm allergic to it, I could die from a severe allergic reaction."

"That's bad luck," I told her.

"Very," she agreed. Then she sighed. "I still don't understand why she left, she could have waken me up and we could have gone together to wherever she wanted to go."

"This isn't your fault," I told her. "Kids are like that. We'll find her, just like I found you.

She started crying again, she tried to stop but more tears fell from her eyes. I sighed and did something I had never done with someone else. I moved closer to Cecilia and sat right next to her, I wrapped my arms around her fragile frame and let her cry in my chest.

I held her until she fell asleep, her face still wet from her tears. I softly dried her face with a blanket and laid her head down on a pillow.

I lied down as well on my good side so I had no choice but to face her. I smiled knowing that all my effort and sacrifice weren't in vain. I rescued her, I found Cecilia and that made everything worth it.

The following day was pretty event-less for Cecilia and me, especially for me. I wasn't allowed to leave the room, hell, not even the bed. Cecilia was still really weak but she had some colour back in her cheeks, she was recovering.

Before mid-day her friends, Teresa and Oliver, took her around the farm. Gave her a tour of the house and our camp that was quite close to the house. Maggie and Beth also joined them, they were all around the same age so they all got along quite well.

After that she came back to the room and made me company, we even ate lunch together. After that she left, claiming she wanted to check on Carl. It was not until earlier today that she found out Carl had been shot days ago but he was fine now.

I could hear how excited Carl was to see Cecilia again. I was almost sure he hugged her and didn't let go of her.

During the afternoon Cecilia spent a few more hours with me. She found a deck of cards and we played. It helped me to distract my mind, to pass time in a quicker and fun way. Then she left again for dinner, while I was made to eat in the room again.

It was a bit late now, dinner was over and everybody had gone to their rooms and tents to sleep. I couldn't sleep and was getting bored, I realized I just needed some fresh air, so I stood up and decided to go out of the house, I wouldn't even go down the porch, I just wanted to get out of this damn room.

I was almost at the door when I saw a figure, sitting on the couch, in the living room. She had blonde hair so at first I thought it was Beth but it wasn't her, it was Cecilia. She was staring down at her hands and she looked extremely saddened by something.

"Hey," I whispered. Her head shot up in my direction, once she realized it was just me, I could see she relaxed and looked down at her hands again.

"What are you doing out of bed?" she asked me.

"I couldn't be there any longer," I exclaimed, sitting in a couch in front of her. "What's the matter?"

"It's silly, it's really stupid, I know," she said, not making any sense. "I don't want to feel like this but I can't help it."

"Feel what?"

"I talked to Lori and Andrea, they told me what everybody had been up since... since you know. They told me about Carl, about the man that died, about pretty much everything. I asked who had been looking for us so I could thank them, I asked them if my mum had been out there and they tried to lie but they couldn't," she said, looking from her hands to me and from me back to her hands. "They said she only went out one day, only one. I can't help but feel hurt, she didn't look for me."

"She cares about you, Ci..."

"Then why didn't she look for me?" she exclaimed, raising her voice a bit. "She just stayed here to cook, do laundry. It was like she expected you to do all the work, you almost died!"

"Your mum loves you, I'm sure of it," I said, not knowing what else to say to her. It was true. Carol had only gone into the woods once. I understand how Cecilia feels because I've felt it too but unfortunately I couldn't explain why her own mother didn't make an effort to find her, at least I knew my parents didn't give a shit about me.

"She should have at least gone to look for Sophia today," she whispered. "I wanted to go but..."

"You can't go, Cecilia!" I exclaimed a bit too quickly. "I just found you! What if you get lost again?"

She said nothing to me, she just look sadly at me and then turned to look out of the window. Tonight was the fifth night since Sophia went missing.

"If you go out there," I said, pointing out the window. "I'll go with you."

"You can't. You are injured."

"I don't care, besides, you are still recovering as well. You were dehydrated, you didn't eat. You are so weak you could faint or something and then you would be an easy target for the walkers."

"The first night Sophia said something funny," she said out of nowhere. "I had told her I could take care of myself and she said 'For how long?' And when she said that I thought she was underestimating me because she doesn't know the things I've done but I admit that if you hadn't found me I can't be sure how much longer I would have kept alive."

I hated to admit that she might be right, without something as essential as water, she wouldn't have lasted another day, not in this heat.

"But you are here now, that's all that matters," I told her. "We could try to look for her tomorrow, you and me, we won't go far but we will do something."

"I appreciate it but you are really injured. I wouldn't forgive myself if something happens to you."

"I just said we could try to go out, if Hershel and Rick don't catch us."

"Thank you," she told me sincerely. "But I would prefer if you stay here, I can go with Rick or Shane or..."

"Shane twisted his ankle and Rick donated a lot of blood," I interrupted her.

"Then I might ask Sean."

"You would be better off on your own," I spat. "That boy is alive just because of his uncle and don't even think about your friends, they can't even use a gun."

"I know," she muttered.

"Why don't you go to bed now? It's getting late."

"I can't sleep."

"Do you want me to walk you out there?" I said, referring to the tent where her mum was.

"I'm staying with Beth tonight," she informed me. "She said I'm still in a critical state or something like that and that I shouldn't sleep outside. I think she feels pity for me."

"I think she just wants to be nice, she wants to help you."

"Didn't you want fresh air?" she asked, changing the subject. I nodded at her.

She stood up and stuck her hand out in front of me, I looked at her face and she had a small smile on her lips. I took her hand and she pulled me up. She let go of my hand and put her arm around my waist, she ordered me to put an arm around her shoulder so she could help me.

"I can walk, you know?" I chuckled.

"Barely," she teased with a small grin.

She opened the door of the house and we walked out together, somehow the space was big enough for the two of us to pass through it at the same time.

We stood right next to each other on the porch, looking at the view in front of us, we couldn't see much because of the darkness, though.

We could see the RV, the tents around it, the grounds of the farm and the beginning of the woods. There was a full moon up in the dark sky, making everything here just a little less dark than usual. It was calming and relaxing, there was nothing in front of us to remind us of all the tragedies and disasters that had happened lately. It was just beautiful.

"Come on," she whispered to me.

For a moment I thought we were going back inside the house. I was going to protest when I saw she was just going to this bench close to us. I took a deep breath as we both sat at the same time. Every movement I did was painful, even breathing.

We rested our heads against the wall behind us and looked up at the sky. We could perfectly see the moon and several stars. We hadn't removed our hands from the other, but it felt nice to have her so close to me. It felt nice to just have someone with me and be able to share this with someone else, so I pretended I hadn't noticed my arm was still around her and allowed myself to enjoy the view and having her next to me.

It was almost romantic. I felt my heart skipped a bit when I thought that. I almost facepalmed myself for thinking that. It was just ridiculous. Nothing between me and this girl could ever happen, not more than a friendship, if even that. We had gotten closer lately because I saved her but that's it, it doesn't mean anything.

"I never saw so many stars," she said to me, looking at me briefly. "I always lived in the city and I was always too busy or too worried about life to take a moment to look at the sky, I can't believe what I've been missing, this is beautiful."

"Yeah," I agreed. I had lived close to the woods so I was kind of used to this but the view in front of us was really special. "Where did you live, in Atlanta?"

"At first, yeah." She nodded at me. "I was living in New York when all of this happened."

"How did you end up here?" I asked her, being really curious about it.

"My mum made me came here for my grandfather's birthday, I told her I was just going to go under one condition," she said. "That I could bring two friends with me. She eventually agreed."

"Oliver and Teresa?"

"Yeah, the three of us shared an apartment. There was no way I could have paid it alone so I asked Teresa to live with me, and somehow we all ended up together, Oliver paid about seventy percent of the rent, while we only paid about fifteen percent each. He was quite wealthy and he didn't have a problem with that. I saved some money thanks to him, I was planning to buy my own place someday."

"How you met her?"

"Teresa?" she muttered, she looked down at the ground but after some seconds she looked at me. "I met her at college."

"Why did you move to New York?" I asked as she looked at the sky again.

"I wanted to get away, really, really far away but I couldn't leave Sophia, I needed a place where I could be away enough but still be close to her, New York seemed perfect," she said to me. "It was a stupid choice because I barely had money but I made it work, somehow."

"Sounds like an adventure," I told her with a small smile on my lips.

"It was, a terrifying one at first but I wouldn't change anything." Her smile grew, making a small dimple on her left cheek slightly show, I had never noticed she had one. "Can we – can we stay for a bit longer?"

"As long as you want," I told her.

Somehow I tighten my hold on her, pulling her a bit closer to me. She rested her head on my shoulder, I was quite unsure about it but I eventually rested my head on hers. I took a deep breath and for once I enjoyed someone else's company.

What do you guys think of this chapter? Have you enjoyed Daryl's POV?  
I would appreciate a lot if you could watch my Daryl/OC video

watch?v=OGAVIYmbjxo

And my TWD video,

watch?v=JtSDBpiLWYY

Do anyone of you know where I could watch Season 5 so I can keep writing this?  
And thank you all for the reviews, follows/faourites. I never thought I would have as many so soon! :D


	11. Chapter 11 - Cruel Reality

"The loneliest moment in someone's life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly."  
\- F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

Cecilia's POV

Last night was amazing. I could actually feel Daryl and I getting closer. It had been so long since I felt so calmed, so comfortable and so safe.

I even woke up with a smile from last night and was in a really good mood, even Beth noticed and she hadn't met me for more than two days.

"You know your friend Shane is teaching people how to shoot, you should join us," Beth told me at breakfast that morning.

"Thanks but I can already shoot," I told her.

"Really? Did he teach you before?"

"Uh no, I learnt about two or three years ago," I said, getting a bit uncomfortable. "It's a long story."

"You are lucky then, you are more prepared than many of us."

"You can never be prepared for this kind of situations," I said sadly. "It doesn't matter if you can shoot if you freeze at the time you need to do it or you are scared. Besides, the sound may attract more of those things so you end up using your knife."

She only nodded at me. A gun can be useful at times but it can also fire back at you, literally and not literally speaking.

"I'm sorry about your sister," she said to me. "I hope you find her soon. I don't know what I'd do without Maggie."

"I heard you lost your brother and your mum, that must be hard. I'm sorry." She only nodded at me, suddenly getting really uncomfortable. "Anyway, I'll go outside and see if someone needs me."

"My dad said you should rest a bit more, maybe a day or two."

"Don't worry, I'll try to not do things that require lots of effort. But I have to help."

I waved at her and then walked out of the farm house. It was not until today that I thought that maybe Beth hadn't helped me this much because she pitied me but because she feels all alone and sometimes she needs someone around her age to share things with. She has her sister and her boyfriend but there are certain things you can't say to your family.

As I walked out I noticed none of the members of my group were around camp anymore, which was quite weird. I could swear I just saw them all eating breakfast right here minutes ago. I shrugged my shoulders and when I turned around I saw Daryl going to the stables, my mum was following him and I decided to follow her, they both walked inside while I hid by the doors of the stable.

"You can't," my mother exclaimed.  
"I'm fine," Daryl muttered.  
"Hershel said you need to heal."  
"Yeah, I don't care."  
"Well, I do. Rick's going out later to follow the trail."  
"Yeah well, I ain't gonna sit around and do nothing," he exclaimed.  
"No, you're gonna go out there and get yourself hurt even worse," she told Daryl, I agreed with her on that. "We don't know if we're gonna find her, Daryl."  
I gasped. I almost fell down when I heard that. Was she really giving up on Sophia? Was she really doing this? Did this mean she would give up on me as well if I wasn't here?

"We don't. I don't."  
"What?" I could hear Daryl asking in disbelief.

"Can't lose you too."

Then I heard a loud noise inside the stable and Daryl grunting, then I heard footsteps and my mother saying, "Are you all right?"

"Just leave me be!" Daryl shouted angrily at her. "Stupid bitch."  
I heard more footsteps going to where I was. I hurried to get behind the other side of the stable so Daryl couldn't see me, I wouldn't want to deal with him right now that he was so upset and I didn't want to see my mother, I had no idea what I'd do or say to her about what she told Daryl. I was beyond pissed and disappointed. I just didn't want to deal with her right now.

Once Daryl and my mother had left the stable, I stood up and walked back to where the tents were. I found Teresa, Oliver and Sean there. Glenn was on top of the RV on lookout. He waved at me when he saw me.

"Hey, Cici!" they exclaimed.

"Hi!" I said, sitting in between Oliver and Sean. "Where is everybody?"

"Don't you know?" Sean asked me.

"Know what?" I asked, starting to get a little nervous.

"There are walkers in the barn," Teresa told me. "Apparently Hershel keeps them there because he thinks they are just sick."

"Are you for real?" I asked, not really believing it.

"Yeah, Hershel's wife and son are in there."

So that's why Beth got really uncomfortable when I talked about them during breakfast. They are in the barn, only feet away from us. I started to freak out.

"What are we going to do?"

"Rick will talk to Hershel, he says we can't do anything if Hershel doesn't agree. He might kick us out," Oliver said. "Shane is watching the barn, just in case."

"You, uh, you looked like something was bothering you when you came, what is it?" Oliver asked me.

"Nothing that matters now," I told him with a small smile. "Just stupid things. We have more important stuff to worry about, don't we?"

"Yeah," Sean agreed. "I hope Rick convinces Hershel. I can't just be here and pretend they aren't there, only some feet away from where I sleep. How am I going to be able to sleep now?"

"I hope we don't have to leave," Teresa said.

"We can't leave," I told them.

"Why not?" Sean asked me.

"Because my sister is still out there and we can't abandon her."

The three of them stayed quiet, not knowing what to say to me. I knew they think there was no hope anymore, that she was dead. I could see it in their eyes. I didn't blame them, anyone would start to lose hope, even my own mother did but I couldn't.

I stood up, nodded at them and walked away. I could hear them mutter things as soon as I was out of earshot, or so they thought but I could hear some of the words they said. They really did think Sophia was dead and that Rick, Daryl and I were just fooling ourselves.

I took a deep breath and continued to walk, I couldn't let that affect me. I just found out my own mother was giving up on Sophia, that was more than enough for me to handle.

I wasn't sure where I was going, I just wanted to get away. I wouldn't get into the woods or walk to far, I just needed to clear my head and calm down. As I walked I saw Daryl walking in the direction I had come from.

"I thought we were going to look for her... together," I exclaimed angrily, I didn't even know why I had gotten so angry out of nowhere.

"Shut up, Cecilia!" he exclaimed in a threatening tone.

"You said I shouldn't go alone that we were going to try to go together. You fucking lied!" I shouted.

"You were nowhere around! I needed to go! I saw my chance and took it!" he shouted too. "And what the hell? I don't need your permission or anything, why the hell are you shouting at me?"

"Because... because I wanted to go too," I said, it was lame. I actually had no idea why I was shouting at him.

"Well, too bad! Now none of us will go!"

I started to cry, not because of Sophia or anything bad that had happened lately but because of anger, rage. I was feeling so helpless and I couldn't do anything about it.

"Oh Christ," he exclaimed. "Don't pull that crap on me, girl! I'm not some kind of people's comforter! Stop being a stupid crying baby and grow up! You need to stop being so immature and grow up or you won't last long."

I stared in disbelief at him, I knew I provoked him but that didn't make it any better. He kept shouting things at me, hurtful things.

"Fuck you!" I screamed at him. I stepped forward raising my hand, I was about to slap him when he grabbed my wrist quite forcefully. I tried to get him to let me go but he just tightened his grip on me. He glared at me, I had never seen so much hatred in those piercing blue eyes as they had now.

"No, sweetheart, fuck you!" he said and then pushed me to the ground. I stared at him in complete shock. I stood up quickly, I stood tall in front of him. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me afraid of him.

He scoffed and then stormed away from me. When he was far away from me I just collapsed to the floor and the tears started to fall out of my eyes.

I exploded and I didn't even know why. Yeah, I was upset at my mother and even a bit at my friends but not at Daryl, I was anything but upset at him so why the hell did I just bombed him with my anger? Why did I ruin the friendship we had been building these couple of days?

I stood up quickly, wiped my tears and ran after him. I couldn't lose him. He was the only person that truly cares and believes we will find Sophia, he's the one that found me. He didn't deserve that.

Daryl had walked a lot but luckily he wasn't that close to the house or the camp yet so no one would be able to hear us.

"Daryl! Daryl!" I shouted at him. He didn't stop or turn so I kept shouting at him until he either stopped or I caught up with him, the latter happened.

"What?" he snap when I caught up with him and stood in front of him. "Came to shout more at me?"

"I want to apologize," I said in a calmed tone. "I'm sorry. I truly am."

"Whatever," he muttered and tried to walk past me but I stepped in front of him again.

"Look, I heard what my mum told you. I heard her saying we should stop looking for her and I can't explain how angry I am at her. My friends, they think I'm crazy because I still believe we will find her. I am just so angry at her, at them, at myself, at the whole world for letting this happen to her and I just took it out on you, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. You didn't deserve it."

There was a very long silence until Daryl broke it, "I'm sorry too, about pushing you. I should not have done that."

"It's okay, I probably needed it to get my ideas in order. If someone cares as much as I do about Sophia, it's you and I appreciate it."

"I know we will find her," Daryl told me. "I was very upset too because of your mother. She shouldn't give up on her daughter no matter what. I do believe she's out there, Cecilia. I'll find her."

"We'll find her." I nodded. "We will."

He smiled at me and nodded. I smiled back, knowing everything was good between us again and that made me really happy.

"So, we are good?" I asked, as we started walking back to the house together.

"I'm not too sure about that," he said teasingly. "You hurt my feelings, you know?"

"Right," I said sarcastically. "What feelings? You don't have feelings."

"Don't I?" he asked with a smirk, I just shook my head at him.

Then without warming, Daryl put his hands on my sides and started to tickle me. I was very ticklish. I eventually ended up in the ground with Daryl on top of me, straddling me, making me even more helpless.

"No! Please – Daryl – Stop! No!" I tried to say in between laughs.

"I don't have feelings, remember? So I don't really give a damn," he said with a smirk as he kept tickling me.

"Ple– Please!"

Daryl stopped, he had a triumphant smile on his face. I hated to admit but he won this time but he won't be so lucky next time. I closed my eyes and panted. I even had tears in my eyes from how hard I laughed.

"I think I just paid for my outburst a few minutes ago," I said. "That was torture."

"You might reconsider it before doing something like that to me again," he threatened, a small smile giving him away. "Or I might repeat what I just did."

"Oh God, no! Anything but that!"

Daryl just smirked at me. I looked into his blue eyes and I was relieved to see that the hatred was gone, I wouldn't be able to bear it if he really hated me. We stared into each other eyes until Daryl coughed and looked away.

He stood up and offered me his hand, I took it and he pulled me up quickly. I noticed he instantly reached his side after it.

"Still hurts, huh?" I muttered.

"It has gotten better," he told me. "Let's go."

Daryl and I walked back to the house together. We kept teasing each other and Daryl even tried to tickle me again, I ran away and he tried to catch me but he had to stop because of his injury, I smirked at him this time while he just rolled his eyes and muttered, "Whatever."

As we got closer to the house, we noticed everyone was in front of the house, apparently chilling. Maggie, Beth, Patricia, Carl, Teresa, Oliver, Sean, Glenn, T-Dog and Andrea were there. I turned to look at Daryl and for some reason he looked pissed.

"Isn't anybody taking this seriously? We got us a damn trail!" he shouted, then he looked in the other direction like everybody else. "Oh, here we go."

Shane was coming our way, almost not limping at all and carrying the bag of guns. Since I saw him I could tell he was up to no good.  
"What's all this?" Daryl asked him.

"You with me, man?" Shane simply asked him, handing him a rifle, which Daryl took.

"Yeah," he muttered.  
"Time to grow up," he told us.  
"Thought we couldn't carry," T-Dog said.  
"We can and we have to," Rick replied. "Look, it was one thing sitting around here picking daisies when we thought this place was supposed to be safe but now we know it ain't. How about you, man? You gonna protect yours?" he asked to Glenn, handing him a rifle as well. Glenn looked at Maggie first before taking the rifle in his hands.  
"Can you stop?" Maggie exclaimed. "You do this, you hand out these guns, my dad will make you leave tonight!"  
"We have to stay, Shane," Carl spoke up before I could.  
"What is this?" Lori asked, rushing to us.

"We ain't going anywhere, okay?" Shane said. Now look, Hershel, he's just gotta understand, okay? He – Well, he's gonna have to." Then he knelt in front of Carl and took out a small pistol. "Now I want you to take this. You take it, Carl, and you keep your mother safe. You do whatever it takes. You know how."

"Shane, you can't..." I started but he interrupted me.  
"Go on, take the gun and do it," he said to Carl.  
"Rick said no guns," Lori exclaimed, stepping in front of Carl. "This is not your call. This is not your decision to make."  
"Oh shit!" T-Dog exclaimed, making us all look at whatever he was looking now.

I narrowed my eyes and it took me a few seconds to realize it was Jimmy, Hershel and Rick, and if I wasn't wrong they were pulling some walkers with them... what?  
"Uncle! Uncle! Where the hell are you going?" Sean asked Shane as he ran towards them, making us all ran after him.

"What the hell are you doing?" Shane shouted.

"Shane, just back off!" Rick exclaimed. He had a snare pole, the ones used for strayed dogs, and with it he was pulling a walker.  
"Are you kidding me? You see? You see what they're holding onto?" Shane shouted, walking around them like a vulture.

"I see _who_ I'm holding onto," Hershel exclaimed, emphasizing the 'who'.  
"No, man, you don't," Shane said.  
"Shane, just let us do this and then we can talk!" Rick said.

By now Daryl already had the rifle pointing at one of the walkers, I took out my own gun and pointed at the others. I never even found out we couldn't carry guns here so I kept mine all this time. "What you want to talk about, Rick? These things ain't sick. They're not people! They're dead! Ain't gonna feel nothing for them 'cause all they do, they kill! These things right here, they're the things that killed Amy. They killed Otis. They're gonna kill all of us!"  
"Shane, shut up!" Rick yelled at him.

"Hey, Hershel man, let me ask you something. Could a living breathing person, could they walk away from this?" Shane asked as he took out his gun and shot at the walker that Hershel was pulling. "That's three rounds in the chest. Could someone who's alive, could they just take that?! Why is it still coming?" he shouted as he shot it again. "That's its heart, its lungs. Why is it still coming?" he added and shot it another three times.

"Shane, enough," Rick told him sternly.  
"Yeah, you're right, man, that is enough," Shane said as he approached the walker and finally shot it in the head, killing it. It fell to the ground, bringing Hershel with it who seemed quite stunned about it. "Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's gone!"

 _Well, that hurt._

"Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us. Enough. Rick, it ain't like it was before! Now if y'all want to live, if you want to survive, you got to fight for it! I'm talking about fighting right here, right now!"  
Rick tried to get Hershel to grab the snare pole but he was too shocked to react. He was like in a trance. Shane was running towards the barn, trying to get it open. I agreed with Shane that we had to kill them but this wasn't the way but it was happening, so all I did was pointing at the barn doors, having my gun ready.

Shane managed to break the padlock and removed the chain. I didn't know how many walkers were inside but I took a deep breath to prepare myself, I couldn't freeze now.

"This is not the way! Please!" Rick begged but Shane wasn't listening.

Maggie ran to her father then and put a supporting hand on his shoulder. Lori got in front of Carl to protect him, Patricia and Beth just hugged each other.

Slowly the doors of the barn were opened and we saw the first walker, followed by another and another. They were all dressed like farmers, like Hershel. Shane shot the first walker and then T-Dog, Glenn, Daryl, Andrea, and I started to shoot. Shane shot the walker Rick was pulling with the snare pole. Rick took out his gun but he didn't join us.

We killed walker after walker, there were probably twenty or twenty-five inside of the barn and now they were all dead or so we thought so I lowered my gun but then we heard more moans inside the barn, but these moans were fainter and they sounded a bit different from the others.

A few seconds later the walker stepped out and I almost died right there. I felt like if my heart was being stabbed over and over again. I shook my head in denial as I saw my sister walking out of the barn.

Her clothes were dirty, her hair was a mess and she had a big gash on the left side of her neck. In that moment I felt like if time slowed down but at the same it went faster than usual. I felt my head was spinning, damn, I felt my whole body spinning.

"No! No! No! No! No!" I kept whispering as Sophia walked towards us. My voice started just as a whisper and then got louder and louder until I was yelling at the top of my lungs. "No! No!"

I just stared at what was in front of me in disbelief. I felt how my world crashed down and broke into million pieces. Everything I hoped for, vanished right before my eyes.

"No!" I screamed once again but this time I started walking, it was like my feet had a mind of their own as I made my way forward.

"Cecilia!" I heard my name being called and not from just one person but several, my mind was all over the place so even when I heard them, I didn't listen and I ignored them all.

I was only a few feet away from Sophia when I felt warm arms around me, stopping me from keep walking to her, I hit the person in the arms and tried to get them off of me but the person wouldn't let go. I kept struggling and screaming but no change, they didn't give up.

"Don't watch," the person, obviously male said to me but I couldn't stopped watching.

I saw how she walked through the dead-dead walkers, trying to get us and with every step she took, everything got more real to me, like with every step she took, my hope and dreams went with her, leaving only the cruel reality.

I heard a shotgun and I saw how her frail body fell to the ground with a thud. More tears rolled down my face, I felt my legs getting so weak they gave up under my weight and I collapsed to the ground, bringing the person down with me, but still he didn't let go of me.

I couldn't take it anymore, I turned around and buried my head in his chest. I stopped struggling, I stopped screaming, I just stopped.

I lifted my head a bit and saw my mother being held as well until she harshly broke free from Daryl's grip and stormed away, all the anger I felt earlier towards her vanished, it wasn't important anymore. A part of me wanted to follow her and another part of me wanted to be all alone, so I just stayed there, doing nothing.

"I can take it from here," I heard a male voice saying right next to me.

The person who was holding me, nodded, unwrapped his arms around me and stood up, leaving me on the ground for a couple of seconds, once that person was up, both people helped me get back on my feet and finally I looked up at the person who stopped me getting any closer to Sophia and held me, it was Glenn. A part of me thought it could be Teresa at first, but the person was definitely a male so I thought that it might be Oliver, but I couldn't even see any of them right now.

Glenn looked sadly at me as he rubbed my shoulder before walking away towards the white house, probably to check on Maggie, thus leaving me with none other than Daryl.

He looked shocked and in his eyes I could see how much in pain he was but he was trying to be strong for me, I didn't know why and right now I didn't really care.

"Come on," he told me and grabbed my arm softly, pulling me with him but I stumbled, I was shaking so bad that my legs were going to give in again at any moment. Daryl sighed and put an arm around my waist, supporting me, just like when we were walking in the woods or when I was helping him to get out of the house and we spent the night watching the night sky.

We were halfway gone on our way to the RV when he sighed again and then he lifted me up bridal style, I guess he got sick of the low pace. I only hid my face in the crook of his neck and put my arms around his neck in case he let go of me but I didn't complain or anything, I didn't care about anything anymore. The pain of falling wouldn't be anything compared to what I was feeling right now.

Daryl walked inside the RV and set me on the table, then he turned around and grabbed a cloth and carefully rubbed the cloth on my cheeks, wiping my tears away. He was so delicate like if he was afraid I would break at his touch.

"I'm sorry," he whispered softly, making more tears fall from my eyes. I just shook my head at him.

I took a deep breath and tried not to cry anymore. I didn't want to keep crying. I managed to achieve it but who knows for how long.

Daryl put the cloth next to me on the table, then stared at me, probably wondering what to do with the mess that I was. He probably had never comforted anyone in his entire life and to be honest he also needed to be comforted at the moment, I could see it in his piercing blue eyes that now were filled with tears but if one fell from his eyes, I didn't see it.

He noticed I was looking into his eyes, so he lowered his gaze and looked at my hands, that were resting on my lap. He quickly took them in his and kept looking at them.

"I did this, didn't I?" he asked, referring to the bruise that was forming when he gripped my wrist tightly when I was about to slap him.

"It doesn't matter," I choke out, my voice was hoarse and unrecognisable.

"I'm so sorry."

Then he let go of my hands and he slowly tucked one strand of my blonde hair behind my ear, leaving his hand there, brushing my cheek.

Then I did something out of impulse. In a fast movement I wrapped my arms around Daryl's torso, I could feel how his breathing went faster but he didn't make me let go of him or say anything to me. Instead, he put his arms around my shoulders and brought me closer to him.

I had only hugged Daryl once, two days ago. I went to his room to thank him for looking for me and for finding me and I got this urge to hug him so I did, just like now.

I didn't know why but he had a calming effect on me, I felt like no matter how bad things were now, they would get better.

I didn't know how much time we spent like that, in each other's arms but I really wanted to freeze time and stay like that forever but I eventually had to let go.

"Thank you," I muttered.

"What for?" he asked.

"For being here for me," I said, putting my hand on his muscular arm, giving it a little squeeze. "For risking your own life for us and for looking for Sophia even more than me and my mother. That means a lot and..."

I wanted to tell him more, I wanted him to know how grateful I was for all the the things he had done to me in these last few weeks but I couldn't, I felt a lump in my throat and I didn't want to break down again so I just stopped in mid-sentence.

After trying to get words out but failing I gave up and instead leaned forwaed and softly kissed Daryl's cheek, he looked really taken aback but said nothing or did nothing. He just looked deeply into my eyes as I pulled away.

"You have no idea how much you mean to me," I managed to get out, barely audible but I know he did hear me.

It was incredible that only two weeks ago or so he was just the person that let me stay in his tent, the person that went hunting and usually fed the camp. He was the person I shared a room with and the person who I had most fights with, even more than Merle. We just were like camp-mates but now I felt like he had become a special friend to me, like our almost not existent bond suddenly grew and got so strong that I was just tied to him, like it or not.

"And you have no idea how much you mean to _me_ ," he said, louder than me but just as softly and this time he was the one that pulled me in for a hug.

"Thank you, Daryl," I said against his chest as I hug him back.

First of all, I want to dedicate this chapter to a friend of mine, who sadly passed away on October 1st. Coincidentally, I was writing this chapter when it happened. I wasn't really that close to him but it affected me greatly and I thought it was the right thing to do to dedicate this to him.  
His father is my coach and I'm very fond of him and his family.

** As always please comment and thanks for reading 3


	12. Chapter 12 - Guilty Conscience

"Sometimes its hard to tell how fast the current's moving until you're headed over a waterfall"

\- Kimberly McCreight, Reconstructing Amelia

I was standing right in between Daryl and Beth in front of the three freshly done graves. I didn't want to come because it would make everything more real but somehow I ended up here. I knew Sophia would like me to be here so I eventually agreed to come.

Daryl had a hand rubbing my back in a comforting way, I wanted to hug him but I was paralysed, I could just stare at the littlest grave in front of me, trying hard not to fall down on the ground, my legs were shaking but I refused to fall in front of so many people.

I hadn't cried since Daryl took me to the RV, like if I went numb but right now I was close to break down again.

Soon, the funeral was over and everyone started to walk away in silence. Daryl walked away in the other direction, probably needing some time alone. He had comforted me when I needed him the most, he hadn't mourned her, so I was going to give him some time to do that.

I felt thin arms loosely wrapping around me then, it was Beth. I took a deep breath as I wrapped my arms around her as well. Jimmy was rubbing her shoulder on her other side.

Slowly, we made our way back to her house, to her room. We both had lost someone really close to us today and we needed each other.

Beth told me I could lie on her bed so we both got under the covers and lied down and for the second time that day I broke down. She lost her mother and half-brother, I lost my little sister.

I couldn't fall asleep, I closed my eyes trying to fall asleep and get away from reality but I couldn't. My head filled with memories of her and me, some good, some bad, some happy and some sad. Some were from several years ago and some were from only a few days ago, some even just moments ago.

I remembered when I was six years old and I was told that I was going to be a big sister, I couldn't admit it then and I couldn't admit it for a long time but I was jealous, extremely jealous. I didn't like the idea of having a sibling, I had friends with older and younger siblings and I just thought it was way better to be an only child.

When Sophia was born lots of relatives came to meet her. They bought her lots of toys and some gave me presents too but they weren't here for me. I noticed my mother barely paid attention to me, my father even went to stay with a friend at nights. I wasn't sure why that was but it was because he wanted to sleep and not be bothered by Sophia several times every night.

I felt jealous for a really long time until I just got used to the idea of having her around. I would get jealous from time to time but it wasn't a constant feeling. I actually got to love her and I enjoyed spending time with her. It was fun to tease her and tickle her, it was also fun to take advantage of being the older and ordered her to clean my room or do stuff I had to do and of course, just having her company was nice.

I remember one time when one of my favourite dolls broke, I was around ten or eleven, and Sophia gave me her brand new doll. I never played with it, I kept it untouched on my night stand. Even when I stopped playing with toys and got them all inside bags to get rid of them, I kept that doll. When I moved to New York I took the doll with me and put it on my night stand.

I also remember when we went on a trip to Florida to visit some relatives and how much fun we had on the beach that time.

I also remember the day I packed my things and told her I had to leave. She cried and begged me to stay, which broke me, but I had to get out of there. She was so mad at me that she didn't speak to me in six months.

And I remember the last time I saw her, I remember our last proper conversation, I remember every word we spoke. We were talking about Daryl, she told me she wanted us together. I almost chuckled, thinking what she would say now if she saw us. We had gotten so close. If we looked like we were together before, then now anyone could be sure we were, even when we really weren't.

I started to think why she just left. Why didn't she follow me when we were walking back to the highway? Why did she leave me that morning?

Maybe she was bit by then. I would have noticed the big bite in her neck but maybe at that time it was only a scratch, a tiny scratch and she left to protect me. She knew I wouldn't leave her, no matter what so that's why she left without telling me. Because she knew she could be a danger to me and I wouldn't be able to put a bullet through her skull.

I wasn't sure if that was what really happened, the real reason why she left but it was the only explanation that made sense to me and if that was true then she was the bravest girl in the whole world.

Later that day I was helping Beth with the dishes, Maggie and Glenn were talking a bit far from us. I couldn't heard what they were talking about and I didn't really care.

Suddenly I heard some dishes slamming on the floor and saw Beth collapsing to the floor. Glenn and Maggie rushed to us and knelt next to her.

Maggie and Glenn took her to her room and I followed them close behind. I sat next to her on the bed and Maggie and I tried to get her to say something but she wasn't reacting while Glenn went looking for Hershel but he was nowhere to be found.

"What's wrong with her?" Lori asked, coming into the room.

"She might be in shock," I said.  
"Where's Hershel?" Lori asked.

"We can't find him anywhere," Glenn answered her.

Lori went out to call Rick and Shane, Maggie and Glenn joined them and they all looked into Hershel's room to find a clue of where he could be, while I stayed with Beth.

They believed he was in a bar, so Rick and Glenn went back into town to go get him. Maggie, Patricia, Jimmy and even Andrea came into the room to check on Beth, who still hadn't said anything and started to get a fever.

It was starting to get dark and still there wasn't any sign of Hershel. There wasn't a sign of Glenn or Rick either. They hadn't come back and it had been a few hours since they had left.

"You should go eat something, dear," Patricia said to me, she was sitting on a chair next to the bed. "I could prepare you something."

"Oh no, I'm good, thanks," I said. I was by the window now, looking out in case I spotted Hershel, Rick or Glenn. "I'm not hungry."

She nodded knowingly, "I'm sorry about your sister."

"It's okay," I whispered.

At that moment my mother walked into the room. I hadn't seen her since... since it happened. She didn't showed up for her funeral and she hadn't checked on me yet. She hadn't even asked me if I was okay or anything, which I wasn't.

"Have you seen Lori?" she asked.

We all shook our heads at her. She glanced in my direction but didn't do or say anything else to me. I looked back into her eyes that were identical to mine and for just a second or two I saw it. I saw the reason why she had been... avoiding me.

 _She was blaming me_.

She left without saying another word, rushing out of there and almost running down the stairs. I closed my eyes tightly trying hard not to cry. I just knew what she was feeling towards me, she didn't say anything but I knew. My own mother blamed me for the death of my sister and the worst was that I was already blaming myself. I always did. I did it since we got lost in the woods after Rick told us to hide, I knew this was on me and my mum just confirmed it.

Daryl tried to tell me this wasn't my fault and for a while I believed him but now I was just sure that it was indeed my fault. I'm the one to blame for her early death. It should had been me in the barn, not her. It should had been me.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and it was until then that I realized that I had been crying. I looked up to see Jimmy, who looked really awkward. I smiled a bit at him and put my hand over his.

"Thank you," I muttered. "I'm fine. I'm okay."

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yeah." I nodded.

It was getting really late and still they hadn't come back and Lori was still missing, I think. I sighed and approached Maggie, who now was the only one in the room. She was holding Beth's hand.

"Call me if anything happens," I told her. "If she gets out of this shock or … or anything, just call me, please."

"Where are you going?"

Good question. I couldn't stay with my mum, I probably couldn't stay with Daryl. I hadn't seen him all day so I assumed he still needed time. Maybe I could stay with Andrea.

"Why don't you stay?" she asked me.

"I don't think that's a good idea," I told her. "I think the two of you need some time alone and if your father comes I might just get in the way."

"Beth likes you a lot, you know that. It's been so long since we had been with people besides our family and especially around people who are close in age to us," she said to me. "How old are you by the way?"

"I'm nineteen."

"You are like in the middle of us. You are three years older than Beth and three years younger than me," she told me with a smile. "She has gotten fond of you and I think it would make her really happy if you stay with her but uh, if you want to go... maybe with your mum, I understand."

"I'll stay," I told her with a smile. "I'm getting fond of her as well.

The next morning Andrea came looking for me, she took me out to the camp, where Oliver, Teresa and Sean were waiting for me. I sat next to Teresa while Andrea went back inside to check on Beth. Teresa handed me a plate with eggs, I didn't want to eat but I took it without a word.

I grabbed a fork and I just moved the food from one side to the other, every once in a while, I put some of it in my mouth but I really wasn't hungry.

"Cecilia," Oliver said, using my full name, which wasn't good. "You can't keep like this! You have to eat!"

"I'm not hungry!" I muttered.

"You were missing for four day, you didn't eat for four days plus the days before that! And now you need to recover from that. You can't just not eat!" Oliver exclaimed.

"Cici," Teresa said softly. "Sophia wouldn't want this."

I looked away from her, I focused my gaze on the tents and I noticed one was missing. I counted them and sure enough one wasn't there and after a few seconds I realized it was Daryl's.

"Where's Daryl?" I asked, interrupting them both who were still trying to get me to eat.

"Don't change the sub..."

"Where's Daryl?" I repeated, interrupting Teresa.

"He's..." Teresa started but was interrupted by Sean.

"We'll tell you once you eat, isn't that right guys?"

"Yeah, you have to eat or we won't tell you," Oliver said.

"Are you for real?" I exclaimed.

"Yeah," the three of them said.

I sighed and started to eat. I felt like throwing up at the end because I just had to force myself to eat it. As soon as I was done I demanded to know where he was. Sean offered to take me.

Daryl moved his tent really far away from the others. It was barely on the farm ground, just right in front of the woods. Sean told me that if I needed anything to call me and then he walked away, he wasn't such a big fan of Daryl.

I walked closer to his tent, noticing he had some squirrels hanging close to it, he also had in there the ears he was wearing when he found me.

"Daryl?" I muttered, stopping right outside of his tent. "Daryl, Daryl?"

"Go away!" I heard him snap from inside.

"I – uh – I just – I just want to make sure you are okay, I didn't know you had moved here, are you alright?"

Then I heard movement inside and heard the tent being unzipped. He looked up at me from the little opening of the tent.

"Hi," I muttered.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. His tone wasn't as hostile anymore, but his face didn't look that welcome.

"I wanted to see how you were doing."

"Alright," he muttered. "I thought you were Lori, or your mum or even Andrea."

"Do I even sound like them?" I asked with a small smile.

"Not really but your mum has already been here twice so I just assumed she was back," he told me. "How are you?"

I tried to process what Daryl had just said to me. My mother came here but she couldn't go to see me, that was hard to accept.

"Okay, I guess." I shrugged. "Why my mother came here?"

"She wanted to see how I was, said some shit about me not having to push everyone away and shit like that. Lori came before her."

"Why?"

"She fucking wanted me to go look for Rick and Glenn, after everything that happened she wanted me to go look for them?" he exclaimed, getting angry. "I told her it wasn't my problem."

"I think it wasn't right of her to come here to ask you that," I told him calmly. "I didn't come yesterday because I figured you needed some space and if you need some more time I can just go now."

"It's okay, don't go."

"Really?" I asked him with a small smile.

"Yeah, really." He nodded.

He unzipped it until the end and crawled back to his sleeping bag, letting me step in, after I did that, I zipped the tent back. I sat next to him and slightly smiled at him.

We both lied on top of his sleeping back, being really close to each other so we could fit in it, but even then, Daryl had almost half of his body on the ground.

Nobody said anything for a long time but it wasn't awkward, it was everything but that. Eventually Daryl extended his arm to let me use it as a pillow, I smiled at him as a thank you and put my right arm around him, letting my hand rest on his stomach and a few seconds later he rested his other hand on top of mine.

"Thanks for coming," he whispered to me.

"How could I not?" I asked, looking up at him to find he was already looking at me. "After everything you have done for me it was the least I could do."

"Most people wouldn't have," he told me. "Most people don't care about me."

"We all do care, you know?" I told him. "And why wouldn't they care about you? Why wouldn't _I_ care?"

"Because people usually don't like me," he muttered.

"Well, I do. I like you. You are a really great person, Daryl."

After that he said nothing but I saw a smile formed in the corner of his lips. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, enjoying his company.

"I, uh, I found your Cartman earring days ago," Daryl told me, making me open my eyes so I could look at him. "It's in my bag, I could give it to you."

"You have it? I hadn't even noticed I had lost it," I said. "I'm too comfortable now, though, so let's stay like this for a little bit more."

Daryl nodded, closing his blue eyes right after, I smiled at him. I wanted to touch my ear to make sure my earring wasn't there but Daryl's hand was on top of mine and my other arm was under me, so I decided to just close my eyes again and enjoy this time with Daryl.

I was devastated and broken about my sister but Daryl made it a bit better and it wasn't like I could just sulk about it forever. I knew Daryl was also devastated, finding her was really important to him. He went out to look for her, for us, every day, risking his life and giving everything of him that he could give.

I knew he couldn't be strong enough for both, at least not forever. I needed to give him time to mourn and be sad about it. I needed to act tough in front of him to allow him to do that, even when it was ten times harder to bear the pain when I stopped acting, when Daryl wasn't present. But I needed to do that for him.

"Hey," I said, sitting up, looking down at him after a long time. I wasn't sure if we had fallen asleep or not. "What do you think about going for a walk? It can be nice."

"Are you serious?" he asked me in disbelief, he had his eyes closed.

"Of course I am, come on!" I said, grabbing his hands and pulling him up. He pretended to glare at me but I just stuck out my tongue at him and dragged him out of the tent.

Daryl wasn't too thrilled about my sudden idea, we were way too comfortable but he didn't complain anymore and it was actually quite nice, the weather was enjoyable, there wasn't a single cloud in the sky and we could hear many birds singing not far from us.

We walked further from the house and the farm. We stayed out of the woods and into the farm limit, none of us wanted to get too far.

"You know," I muttered as we were going back. "At least we know now. If Shane hadn't done what he did we would still be looking for her. I feel some kind of … closure, of ease with the fact that I know. I think it would be so much worse to never know if she was out there or not."

Daryl didn't say anything, he just nodded at me. I wrapped my arms around him without warming, catching him by surprise like the other two times I had hugged him.

"What? Do I look like some fluffy bear you love to hug or what?" he exclaimed pretending to sound angry and annoyed, but seconds later he wrapped his arms around me, ruining his facade.

"Yeah, exactly," I said chuckling. "You are just... hugable, I suppose"

"Hugable?" he repeated. "Does that word even exist?"

"I have no idea but if it didn't, it does now."

"You are so silly, you know that?"

"Yeah, I've heard it a few times." I chuckled.

"Come on," he said, pulling away from the hug but he kept one arm around my shoulders, so I kept one of my mine around his waist.

"How is your injury?"

"A lot better, I just don't have to strain myself and I'll be fine."

As we walked back like that we saw a car approaching. It could be Rick and the others. Instantly our hands dropped to our sides and we jogged to the front of the house, where Shane, Andrea and T-Dog were getting ready to go look for them.

We got to the house right when Rick was getting out of the car. Carl ran out of the house and hugged his father.

Maggie also ran to apparently her father, even he thought she was going to hug him but she ran past him and hugged Glenn instead. Oh wow, I guess I had missed something here. Glenn and I need a talk later.

"Patricia, prepare the shed for surgery," Hershel exclaimed.

"Who's hurt?" I asked getting really nervous and scared for them.

"None of us," Glenn answered me. "Another guy."

And that's when I finally realized there was someone else inside the car, he was blindfolded and apparently he was sleeping or maybe he was just unconscious.

"Who the hell is he?" T-Dog exclaimed, pointing at him.

"Randall," Glenn replied and he looked like he wasn't really comfortable about him.

Randall was taken inside, Hershel and Patricia operated him while the rest of us gathered in the dining room. I ended up in between Carl and Jimmy. The little boy smiled at me and gave me a hug when he saw me, we hadn't talked lately because we hadn't had the chance but we used to play back in camp.

"We couldn't just leave him behind," Rick informed us. "He would've bled out, if he lived that long."  
"It's gotten bad in town," Glenn added.  
"What do we do with him?" Andrea asked.

"I repaired his calf muscle as best I can, but he'll probably have nerve damage," Hershel informed as he joined us in his dining room. "Won't be on his feet for at least a week."  
"When he is, we give him a canteen, take him out to the main road, send him on his way," Rick said.  
"Isn't that the same as leaving him for the walkers?" Andrea exclaimed.

Daryl hadn't come inside the house with all of us until now. I had no idea why he took so long to join us. He just walked in silently and leaned against a wall behind me.

"He'll have a fighting chance," Rick told her.  
"Just gonna let him go? He knows where we are," Shane told him.  
"He was blindfolded the whole way here! He's not a threat."  
Not a threat," Shane said unconvinced. "How many of them were there? You killed three of their men, you took one of them hostage, but they just ain't gonna come looking?"

"They left him for dead," Rick interrupted him. "No one is looking."  
"We should still post a guard," T-Dog suggested.  
"He's out cold right now, will be for hours," Hershel said.  
"You know what? I'm gonna go get him some flowers and candy," Shane exclaimed, storming out. "Look at this, folks, we back in fantasy land!"  
"You know, we haven't even dealt with what you did at my barn yet," Hershel exclaimed, going after him, until Shane stopped to look at the old man. "Let me make this perfectly clear, once and for all, this is my farm. Now I wanted you gone, Rick talked me out of it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. So do us both a favour, keep your mouth shut."

Shane said nothing, he just looked pissed at the whole situation but said nothing. He shook his head and continued to walk outside of the house, running his hands through his now bald head.  
"We're not going to do anything about it today. Let's just cool off," Rick told us.

Andrea was the first to leave after that, followed by Sean, Teresa and Oliver. I saw how my mother was going straight to Daryl before he just shook his head and stormed out of the house. So now she's chasing Daryl but she can't even look at me?

I stayed sat on the chair trying to calm down. Carl apparently noticed because he put a hand over mine in a reassuring way. I smiled at the boy and he smiled back at me.

"Want to play chess?" he asked.

"Uh, sure."

Carl and I played some chess on the porch of the house while Hershel finally went to check on his daughter. I hadn't seen Beth since this morning and I was going to go once Hershel was done with her, I didn't want to get in the way and I promised Carl I was going to play with him.

"How's your shot wound?" I asked him as I moved one of my pawns.

"It just hurts when I run," he told me, not taking his eyes from the board.

"Did it hurt? When it happened, I mean."

"I don't really remember, I instantly went unconscious. But I remember the pain when Hershel was taking a part of the bullet out, I had never felt so much pain in my life."

"How did you get shot?" I had heard the story but not very detailed. Apparently the man that died, Otis, shot him. But Oliver and Teresa didn't explain much.

"I was looking at a deer, you should have seen it, Cici. It was amazing. It was like time stopped when the deer looked right into my eyes and I looked back into those dark eyes. It was just great," he told me, moving his only left horse. "This man, Otis, shot the deer and the bull went trough the deer, going inside of me as well or that's what I was told."

"I'm sorry that happened to you."

"It's okay. It was worth it. I'll never forget those few seconds, it was like there was a connection between the deer and I, it was like... magical," he then smirked at me. "Check."

"What?" I exclaimed shocked.

Then I saw the perfect move. I move my tower and got his queen. He looked really upset at his silly mistake. I smiled at him.

I ended up winning three times and Carl won one. I then felt a pang on my heart, remembering when I used to play board games with Sophia. I never played chess with her because she never could remember how the pieces were moved but we used to play checkers and cards, we loved to play poker, or Monopoly when we had cousins or friends over, we also played Ladders and Snakes a lot and all kind of games.

"Are you okay?" Carl asked, looking concerned at me.

"Yeah, I just got something in my eye, uh, excuse me," I told him. "I'll check it out on a mirror, we'll player later okay? Why don't you practice with Glenn or Oliver? So you might beat me next time?" I said smiling at him before rushing to the bathroom on the first floor of the house.

Once there, I locked myself in. I leaned against the door and slowly fell down to the ground, I hugged my knees, buried my head in my arms as I just cried.

It was like I was just in denial until now. I felt like if someone was squashing my heart in their hands. I felt like a big weight had fallen on top of me and it was hard to breathe. I felt despaired.

I felt like since Daryl took me in the RV after the incident I had just pushed reality and my mourning away and now they were catching up with me.

The pain I was feeling was even stronger and more overwhelming than the pain I felt when I saw her walk out of the barn, even stronger that when I heard the shotgun that killed her for good and for once I wasn't sure if I was going to make it through this.

Hello guys! :)  
Hope you like the chapter, Daryl and Cecilia are getting closer! :D  
So I came up with a few ideas for their ship name, I just need you to vote which one you prefer, or if you have an idea of your own, feel free to comment it! :)

Dici

Decilia

Ceryl

Darilia


	13. Chapter 13 - Sinking

"Let them think what they liked, but I didn't mean to drown myself. I meant to swim till I sank –

but that's not the same thing."

\- Joseph Conrad, The Secret Sharer and Other Stories

A few days had passed, I wasn't sure how many but around a week. I just knew that because Randall had gotten better, Rick and Shane were getting everything ready to leave the boy several miles away from us.

My mother still hadn't talked to me, not even once asked me how I was or much less telling me she was glad she didn't lose us both. I didn't want to talk to her either. There were times I felt sad and alone because of her and other times I remembered when she told Daryl she didn't know if we were going to find Sophia, making me really upset all over again.

There were times I felt like this was her fault for not taking care of us, for not running after us and there are other times when I blamed myself and there were times when I blamed everyone but that didn't happen that often, it was mostly just myself or my mum that I blamed.

I was filled with rage towards my mother, the group, destiny, science, everything, especially the walker that did this to my sister. I just wish I could find it so I could kill it with my own hands. I wanted to make sure someone paid for it but that wouldn't be possible.

I was also filled with grief. I hadn't been the same all these days. I hadn't gone out of the house, I hadn't talked much and I had barely eaten. Actually, I had stayed with Beth all this time.

I had fallen asleep on the bathroom that day when everything cascaded into me, Maggie found me about two hours later. She had to unlock the door and get me. She took me to Beth's room, where Hershel was. He hydrated me and gave me something to relax my muscles.

Beth didn't let me leave her room and after two days I enjoyed being with Beth, I didn't want to leave. Not even to find Daryl. He had come to see me every day, trying to get me to go for a walk or get me to tell him something but I don't say much to him or anyone else.

It was like a switch was turned off inside of me. I felt like all kind of joy had been ripped out from me and the emptiness that it left, was filled with grief, sorrow, helplessness and lack of will to keep on.

It was like something similar to what happened to Beth just after what happened in the barn, except it took a bit longer to hit me.

People were trying to get us separated. They said we needed to cheer each other but we were so depressed that we weren't doing that, we were doing the opposite, bringing each other down even more or that's what they thought.

I was just coming back from the bathroom when I saw Lori walking into the room. She had brought us some food about an hour ago, I ate two slides of tomato and two of cucumber while Beth ate nothing at all.

"Couldn't eat a thing, huh?" Lori said, looking at the untouched food. "You're gonna – Hey!" she stopped mid-sentence when she heard Beth sobbing.

Lori knelt next to the bed, Beth had sat up. I just stood there, watching Lori trying to comfort Beth. She comforted me earlier when she brought the food, being a mother helped her being good at this kind of things. She knew what things to say, what to do.  
"I know how hard it is. I tried for days to reach my mum, and get her on the phone, I can only assume..."

"It's just so pointless," Beth interrupted Lori, she sounded so angry.  
"You have Maggie, and your father," Lori told her. "Patricia and Jimmy and now you have Cecilia and you've gotta stay strong for them. I wish I could promise you it would be all right in the end. I wish I could promise you both that but I can't, but we can make now all right and we have to."  
"Thank you," Beth said to Lori, turning to look at her for the first time.  
"I'll be right back, we'll go take that walk," Lori said to Beth as she stood up and ran her hand on her head. "I'll call Andrea or Glenn to go with you, Cici."

Lori took the tray with food and left the room. I walked back to the bed and got under the covers once again, I noticed Beth doing the same, she was lying on her left side and I was lying on my right, so we were facing each other.

For some reason the idea of a walk didn't sound so appealing to me, Andrea was nice but that would be awkward and Glenn... Glenn had been trying to get me to get into my senses again. He even shook me forcefully once, which ended in Glenn being pinned to a wall by an angry Daryl right after I started to cry.

"Beth!" Lori came into the wood, looking really startled. She was looking for something but I had no idea what. "You give it to me, sweetheart. You don't want to do this."

What was she talking about?

Beth said nothing, she just pulled the covers down, grabbed a knife and handed it to Lori without looking at her. I stared at her in shock, how could I not notice it?

"Beth?" I whispered to her. As I sat up slightly She said nothing, she didn't even look at me.

Soon after that Lori ran out of the room with the knife in her hand. I just let my head fall back into the pillow as I took a deep breath. I wanted to say something to Beth but I didn't know what or how. I wanted to be the voice of wisdom but also her friend. I didn't want to say the wrong thing.

"We should both do it," Beth said to me. I turned to look at her, my eyes widening at her words.

"Beth, don't talk like that."

"We could go so peacefully. I don't want to be gutted, I don't want to be eaten alive. I don't want to turn and become a monster. This is what we should do," she told me and the confidence she was radiating scared me. "There is no cure, Cici. We are waiting for something that will never happen. My dad believed my mum and my brother will get cured and we will all be a family again but he was wrong, there is no hope left."

"I know this is hard, Beth, but..."

"Now you either die your way or you get killed. I think I prefer to choose. I'm ready to die and I think we should go together. Think about it, no more suffering, no more fear, no more pain, no more losses. I'll go with my mum and my brother and you will see your sister again, isn't that what you want?"

"Yeah," I said, starting to cry.

"There's only death and suffering out there. It will only be a matter of time until the farm is overrun or we die out of something else. I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel, Cici, do you?"

I shook my head at her as I thought about all the things that had happened lately. "No," I muttered. "My mother doesn't even talk to me, she blames me for what happened to Sophia and my friends can't even look at me."

"See? It's better to just go, I've decided it. I want to do it tonight. I want to peacefully die in my bed. I just want the pain to end."

Somehow I started to think that Beth was making sense. I was trying to convinced her out of it, instead she convinced me.

I thought about the CDC. When we were there and we were just about to die I wanted so bad to escape the place and live. I was desperate to find a way out of that deathly trap. I had the willing to live.

I tried to remember to what I held on to, tried to remember what were my reasons to live. But I couldn't find anything good enough that made think that Beth was wrong about this. Jenner himself, a scientist, said it clearly.

" _There is_ _ **no**_ _hope, there_ _ **never**_ _was."_

And if I had hope back then it was long gone for sure now.

"We'll do it," I said nodding.

"This is the right cho..."

In that moment Lori came back, she looked a little bit pale and her face showed the distress she was feeling. Behind her I saw Sean, who looked quite uncomfortable with the situation. Great, now probably everyone will know.

"Cici, Sean will take you to another room."

"What?" We both exclaimed at the same time.

"You can't do this. You can't keep us apart!" I shouted.

Sean then approached me and held by my waist lifting me up, I could hear Beth screaming as well but Lori stopped her from helping me get free from Sean's grip. He took me to the guests' room, which was a bit far from Beth's.

"You can't do this to me Sean!" I said, saying the longest sentence I'd said to anyone except Beth in the last few days.

"Lori told me what happened, I can't let you be with that girl anymore!" Sean exclaimed to me. "When I met you, you were funny, you were happy, brave, maybe a bit reckless as well. What happened to you?"

"Haven't you seen the world now, Sean? It's shit! Reality happened to me. I realized I was chasing a dream."

It didn't take long for Maggie to go talk to Beth while Glenn came to talk to me and Sean walked out of the room but he stayed outside, like keeping guard. When Lori found Beth had the knife I was totally against what Beth had in mind and still people were thinking we were two psychopaths that planned to end our lives.

Well, we technically just did that a few minutes ago but I hated how people were treating me like if I was crazy.

I couldn't take the looks Glenn was giving me, those were worse than the words I was trying hard to ignore. I had never seen him so angry at me, he was normally a calmed, passive guy.

"What is going through your head?" Glenn yelled at me, running his hand through his black hair, as he paced from one side of the room to the other.

"I just want it to be over!" I exclaimed, tears threatening to fall down my face.

"I know it's hard, okay? But you can't give up!"

Suddenly the door flew open and none other than Daryl himself stormed inside, I took a deep breath preparing myself to what was coming now. Glenn closed the door and leaned against it, I thought he was going to leave but he stayed. Daryl walked to me and stopped right in front of me, I didn't dare to look up at him.

"Please tell me that what I heard isn't true," he said in an almost calmed tone. I said nothing or did nothing besides sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Tell me you weren't thinking about 'opting out'," he said the last part in almost a mocking way, doing air quotes in the process, but I didn't see that, I kept my gaze on everywhere except him.

"And what if I were?" I said, trying to sound determined and brave.

"Why are you so stupid?" he yelled.

"I'm not stupid!"

"Yes, you are! You are stupid, selfish, you are immature and you are a coward!" he spat, each word felt like a stab in my heart. "You are pathetic, Cecilia."

"If you think that of me then why don't you just leave me alone?" I stood up but still didn't dare to look him in the eye. "It's not like you care about me, anyway! Don't you understand this is what I want? I..."

"Selfish!" he exclaimed. "This is not just about you, don't you understand that?"

"Why am I being selfish?" I shouted. "My mother blames me for Sophia's death, she can't even see me in the eye! I haven't seen my friends in days, it's like they don't care about me anymore! I would just do them all a favour."

"And what about me?" he said so softly it hurt me more than if he had yelled.

"What about you?"

"I almost died trying to find you, Cecilia. I spent days and some nights in those woods!" he said, with each word his tone got louder. "I took a fucking arrow and a bullet in the process! Do my sacrifice and effort mean nothing to you? All I did and went through was worth it because I did find you for fuck's sake! Are you just going to throw that away by killing yourself? Didn't it even cross your mind how I would fucking feel?"

I stared at him in complete silence, my lips were slightly parted in shock. I did think of Daryl, but I assumed he would be sad for a short time and then move on, I wasn't that important to him, was I? Our friendship just started a few days ago, I couldn't mean that much to him, right?

"Beth said the pain would end!" I said desperately. "And she's right! She said we will die anyway, and I don't want to be bit and become one of those things! I don't want to become a monster, Daryl. She..."

"So, this was her?" he interrupted me, his voice was filled with venom. He then walked away from me and started to pace in front of me as he ran one of his hand through his hair, that had grown up a bit in the last few weeks. He was doing pretty much the same thing Glenn did, speaking of Glenn, he was just watching us in complete silence.

"I tried to talk her out of it today but I heard what she had to say and she's making sense! I thought about it and I want this pain to end!"

Daryl then stopped in his tracks, taking a deep breath. He turned around quickly and approached me so fast I thought he was going to run me over so I stumbled back but Daryl caught me by my shoulders.

"Cici, I know this is hard. I know what you are feeling, alright? You are vulnerable! She offered you the easy way out and it sounds tempting, I know, but that's not the answer! If none of this would have happened you wouldn't think like that!" I just started to cry, now that we were this close I could see the pain in his blue eyes, which was what finally made me break down. "Remember when we were at the CDC? You fought to get out of there, you wanted to live! And I'm sure you do now! You are just confused! You said so yourself! You tried to talk her out of it but she confused you! You don't want to do this, Cecilia!" he said, slightly shaking me as to get some sense into my head.

"The pain is too much," I cried.

"I know, okay? I know, but it will get better, I promise," Daryl said, embracing me, "I'll help you, you are not alone. You have me!"

"Really? I asked in a small, trembling voice.

"Of course."

Now Daryl had one hand running up and down my back and the other was on the back of my head. I removed my hands that were pressed against his chest and wrapped them around him. I hugged him tightly, gripping his shirt, like if someone was pulling me away from him and I was like holding on to him for dear life and in some way I was. I broke down again.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I muttered against his chest.

"It's okay, shh, it's okay."

I had no idea how much time we stayed like that. I didn't know how long I cried but by the time I calmed down I had no more tears and Daryl's shirt was wet. He helped me to sit on the bed while he knelt in front of me and looked into my now bloodshot and puffy eyes.

"Don't do anything stupid, okay? I just need to get something done and I'll be back, alright?" he told me. I nodded. "Glenn will stay with you."

He stood up and gave me a kiss on the forehead, I was too overwhelmed by everything that was happening that I didn't even react to his unexpected action. He approached Glenn and whispered something to him and then he left. Glenn just raised one of his eyebrows at me.

"What?"

"Nothing," he said in a too innocent way. "I was just wondering if that was actually Daryl or his excessively nice twin brother."  
"Oh, shut up!" I exclaimed. "Do you realize you are like my babysitter?"

"No, I'm just your friend," he said smiling at me as he sat next to me on the bed. "I would have stayed even if Daryl hadn't said anything, the one that is babysitting is Sean, I think he's still out of the room."

"Why? Do you think I'll go with Beth, grab the first thing I find and end this?"

"Probably yes." He nodded. "I know you braver than this, I know you wouldn't have done it, maybe get close to do it, but back away just in time."

"What if I had done it? What if I couldn't reverse it?"

"Let's just stop talking about this, okay? Uh, can you do me a favour and start eating again? You have no idea how sick and bad you look, it's scary."

All my life I was an average thin person, never had problems with weight but once I moved to New York I would only eat fast food and frozen food because I didn't have time to cook or the money to buy good food and I ended up gaining about twenty-five pounds. I got into self-defence and Taekwondo classes and I managed to lose about ten pounds, give or take a few pounds.

And now that I hadn't eaten so well since we got to camp and the fact that I didn't eat for four days when I was missing and now that I had barely eaten in the last week or so, I had lost about fifteen pounds, maybe even more.

I could feel it. I felt extremely weak, exhausted, my trousers were so loose on me now, and whenever I looked in the mirror, I just looked really sick. I was so pale and my eyes seemed lifeless. It scared the shit out of me, but what could I do? I probably felt as bad as I looked.

Little did I know that the reason why Daryl left was to talk to my mother, to make her get back into her senses and come around because I needed her. Daryl blamed her for the state I was in and told her hat if she didn't react soon she was going to lose both her daughters.

Rick and Shane had just come back but not alone. They had Randall in the trunk of the car. Both, Rick and Shane looked a bit beaten up, they didn't want to tell but they got into a fight.

Shane was getting more unstable every day. He was becoming dangerous and unpredictable. Dale, Andrea, Lori, and who knows who else believed he had killed Otis to save himself.

I wasn't even around when all that happened so I had no idea what really happened. I can't even give my opinion on that but I had noticed some changes in Shane, even when I had barely seen him lately.

About thirty minutes after Daryl left, Glenn left too. I was lying on the bed, almost falling asleep. Sean was there to 'babysit' me, though.

Glenn came back a few minutes later holding a tray. He couldn't cook very well so he just heated food from lunch. I smiled and thanked him as I sat up.

Glenn and Sean sat at the end of the bed and they started to tell me what had been going on lately. Told me more about this guy Randall, they also told me Carl had been asking for me, wanting the revenge on chess I promised him. They also told me Lori was pregnant.

"What?" I asked in shock. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I got her abortive pills but apparently she has decided to keep it," Glenn told me.

"That's a bit crazy, isn't it?" I said. "And very risky."

"Well, if things stay like they are, we can be okay," Sean told me.

I decided not to say anything else about it. It wasn't my baby, it wasn't my choice, and it wasn't my problem. If she wanted to keep it, then that was on her.

I ate most of what was in the plate Glenn brought me and when I was over I was so full. My body wasn't used to so much food even when it was less than a normal serving size.

"I'm relieved you ate," Glenn told me with a smile.

"I was a bit hungry." I chuckled. "Thank you!"

"No problem," Glenn said, then his smile dropped. "I, uh, I need to tell you something."

"What is it?" I asked, starting to get nervous.

"When I went to get you food, I heard something. I didn't want to tell you until you had eaten."

"You are scaring me, Glenn," I told him. "What happened?"

"Beth," he said and I felt how my heart skipped a bit, in a bad way. "She, uh, she tried to kill herself. She cut her wrist but it wasn't that deep. Hershel is stitching her right now. She'll be fine."

"Okay," I nodded and stood up quickly, so quickly I got dizzy at first but that didn't stop me to run to the door.

"Woah! Where do you think you are going?" Glenn asked me as he and Sean got in between the door and me, Sean actually grabbed me by my forearm.

"Where do you think? To see Beth!" I exclaimed like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"We, uh, we can't really allow you to see her," Sean said awkwardly.

"Why not?"

"Daryl ordered us to not let you out and … it's not only him!" he added when he saw my expression. "Lots of people don't like that you spend so much time together, especially with the idea you two came with."

"People think it would better if the two of you spend some time... separated," Glenn told me, choosing his words carefully. "Don't take it bad, please. But the two of you are... uh, unstable, sad, and that is not healthy for neither of you. Let Beth spend some time with her family while you stay with us. We miss you, you know? We were supposed to be like best friends, what happened? You told me everything and I told you everything! I miss having you around."

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"I promise I'll let you know how Beth is," Sean told me. "But for the good of both, none of you can visit the other just for now."

"You know how ridiculous that is?"

"I don't think so," Glenn told me. "Now, we are going to out, maybe take a walk and you are going to spend the rest of the day listening to me talking about Maggie like if I were a high school girl because I have this need to tell you because we are best friends and then you are going to tell me about Daryl."

"Uh, Glenn, there's nothing to talk about Dar..."

"Bullshit!" he exclaimed. "Now let's go!"

Glenn grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the house. Sean went back to camp with Oliver and Teresa. Glenn and I walked around the creek, which was close to where the cows where and Glenn started to tell me everything about him and Maggie.

I knew there must be something between them but I had no idea Glenn and her had been through so much while I was missing and while I was going mental, I couldn't believe I had missed so much but I was glad Glenn felt comfortable enough to tell me everything, and by everything I mean absolutely everything, even details I didn't need to know.

Hello guys, I decided to give you a present today and update, so, Merry Christmas :D What are your plans for today? What presents have you gotten so far? :)

This chapter really broke my heart, poor Daryl! :( What do you guys think of this chapter? Hope you like it.

What do you guys think happens in the next chapter?


	14. Chapter 14 - Group's Broken

"There are moments of frustration in life. You must build good relations to support you in these moments. You must also learn to courage yourself and decide to stay determined in life."

― Lailah Gifty Akita, Think Great: Be Great!

Since I wasn't able to be with Beth anymore I ended up spending the night with Daryl. During dinner my mum did smile at me but I wasn't ready to sleep in the same tent with her. We hadn't talked since we found Sophia in the barn and we hadn't even talked much before that.

When I woke up this morning Daryl had already left. I put on my pair of jeans and a clean shirt very quickly in case Daryl could come back. I also put on a belt because my jeans were so loose they fell from me. I guess I needed to gain some weight back.

When I walked out of the tent and walked to where they had set camp, I saw Lori, Carl, Andrea, Glenn, my mother, Shane, Sean, Rick, Dale, Maggie, Teresa and Oliver. Daryl had just approached them a few seconds before I did. He had his crossbow over his shoulder and had his hand over the strap, I noticed his knuckles were bloody. He noticed I was looking at his hand so he just lowered it, got it out of my sight.

"Boy there's got a gang, thirty men," Daryl informed. "They have heavy artillery and they ain't looking to make friends. They roll through here, our boys are dead and our women, they're gonna –" he made a brief pause to look at me. "They're gonna wish they were."  
"No one goes near this guy!" Rick ordered.  
"Rick, what are you going to do?" Lori asked him.

"We have no choice. He's a threat. We have to eliminate the threat."  
"You're just going to kill him?" Dale said, looking straight at Rick in disbelief.

"It's settled. I'll do it today," Rick said, walking away. Dale went after him.  
Daryl walked away too but towards his tent, in the opposite direction. I followed him. He said nothing and he looked a little bit uncomfortable, probably because he knew what I wanted to talk about.

"How did you get that information out of him?" I asked once we were out of everyone's earshot.

"Why do you want to know? All you need to know is that his people is dangerous!" he said sternly as he kept walking, he even quickened his pace.

"I just need to know."

"Does it make a difference?" I just gave him a look, making him sigh. "I beat him, alright? But I don't regret it because I wouldn't have found out otherwise!"

"You are not a bad guy, Daryl. Why didn't they send Shane?"

"Look, it doesn't matter, I did it and I can't change it. All you need to know is that these people will kill us all if they find us, you have no idea what he said to me!" he said, raising his voice. "They are rapists, alright? If they come here... I'm just trying to protect you, okay? If we have to kill him to be safe then that's what we have to do."

"I don't even care if they kill him or not," I said, it came out harsher than I intended, though. "I just don't like that you are always sent to do the dirty job."

"Someone has to do it," he said simply.

Once we reached his camp site again, he showed me a few arrows he had made himself and was showing me how to do one when we saw Dale coming our way. Daryl grunted.

"The whole point of me coming up here is - to get away from you people," he said as Dale got close enough to hear him.  
"Gonna take more than that," Dale told him. "Many of us are concerned about you, your new role in the group."  
"Oh, man, I don't need my head shrunk," Daryl exclaimed. "This group's broken. I'm better off fending for myself."  
"You act like you don't care."  
"Yeah, it's 'cause I don't," Daryl said harshly, putting on a long sleeved blue shirt and his leather winged-vest on top of it.

"It doesn't look like that to me," he said nodding in my direction. "Anyway, so live or die, you don't care what happens to Randall?"

"Nope," Daryl said as it was the most obvious thing in the world.  
"Then why not stand with me, try to save the kid's life, if it really doesn't matter one way or the other?"

"Didn't peg you for a desperate son of a bitch."  
"Your opinion makes a difference," Dale told him.  
"Man, ain't nobody looking at me for nothing!"  
"Cici obviously is and I am, right now. And Rick listens to you."  
"Rick just looks to Shane. Let him."

"You cared about what happened to Sophia," Dale said, and I stiffened when I heard her name, Dale didn't notice but Daryl did. "Cared what it meant to the group. Torturing people? That isn't you. You're a decent man." I agreed with Dale on that. "So is Rick. Shane... He's different."  
"Why's that? 'Cause he killed Otis?" Hmm, so Daryl also believed he did it.

"He told you that?" Dale asked him with a surprised look on his face and took a few steps towards Daryl.

"He told some story... How Otis covered him, saved his ass," Daryl said. "He showed up with the dead guy's gun. Rick ain't stupid. If he didn't figure that out, it's 'cause he didn't wanna. It's like I said, group's broken."

Daryl then turned to me, grabbed my hand and pulled me up and made me go with him while he had his crossbow in his other hand as he walked away from Dale, who wasn't going to take a no as an answer.

"Daryl just.."

"No, Dale!" Daryl exclaimed, turning around to face the old man and letting go of my hand as he walked towards Dale. "The boy said his group made a father watch his teenage daughters getting raped! I won't let that happen to Cecilia or any of the other women in this group, so no I won't change my mind, just leave me alone!"

Once again Daryl grabbed my hand and dragged me away from there, leaving a shocked Dale behind. I didn't say anything because a part of me didn't want my group to become murderers and the other part of me just wanted the boy to be far away from us, I war torn and I couldn't make up my mind.

"Where are we going?" I asked him.

"Hunting," he said simply.

Before all of this happened I was against animal abuse and hunting but now you had to do that to survive. At least now that need wasn't that big because we had crops and food at the farm but before that we mostly had canned food and the squirrels Daryl brought as our meals.

"Sounds exciting," I told him with a small smile.

"Just don't make too much noise so I can actually catch something." He chuckled.

Later that day almost by sunset we had to gather to discuss Randall's fate. Jimmy, Beth and Carl weren't present because they were still under eighteen and a part of me wished I didn't have to be there either. I didn't want to have his death on my conscience.

We all went to the living room of Hershel's house, some were sat on the couches and love seats while the others were on their feet, some of them leaned against the walls. I ended up in between Andrea and Sean, the three of us were on our feet.

"So how do we do this? Just take a vote?" Glenn asked, being the one to break the silence.

"Does it have to be unanimous?" Andrea asked.

"Well, let's... let's just see where everybody stands, then we can talk through the options," Rick said, his voice was very calmed and steady, but he was anxious about this.  
"Well, where I sit, there's only one way to move forward," Shane said, obviously it had to be him to say that.  
"Killing him, right?" Dale snapped. "I mean, why even bother to even take a vote? It's clear which way the wind's blowing."  
"Well, if people believe we should spare him, I wanna know," Rick said, looking at all of us.  
"Well, I can tell you it's a small group, maybe just me and Glenn."

Glenn said nothing he just looked at Dale in an apologetically way, it was obvious he didn't stand with Dale this time.

"Look, I – I think you're pretty much right about everything, all the time, but this..." Glenn told him.

"They've got you scared!" Dale shouted.  
"He's not one of us," Glenn exclaimed. "And we've – we've lost too many people already."  
"How about you?" Dale asked Maggie, who was next to her father. "Do you agree with this?" "Couldn't we continue keeping him prisoner?"

"Just another mouth to feed," Daryl said disagreeing with her, he was behind Rick, leaning on a wall.  
"It may be a lean winter," Hershel muttered.  
"Well, he could be an asset. Give him a chance to prove himself!" Dale said, not keeping his voice down.

"Put him to work?" Teresa asked.

"We're not letting him walk around," Rick said with authority, meaning that wasn't negotiable.  
"We could put an escort on him," Maggie suggested.  
"Who wants to volunteer for that duty?" Shane asked.

"I don't think any of us should be walking around with this guy," Rick said, raising his hand for emphasis.  
"He's right. I wouldn't feel safe unless he was tied up," Lori said.  
"Look, say we let him join us, right? Maybe he's helpful, maybe he's nice," Shane started. "We let our guard down and maybe he runs off, brings back his thirty men."  
"So, the answer is to kill him to prevent a crime that he may never even attempt? If we do this, we're saying there's no hope," Dale exclaimed. "Rule of law is dead. There is no civilization."  
"Oh, my God," Shane muttered in disbelief.  
"Could you drive him further out? Leave him like you planned?" Hershel asked.

"You barely came back this time," Lori said quickly.  
"We should not put our own people at risk," I said, speaking for the first time.  
"If you go through with it, how would you do it? Would he suffer?" Patricia asked.

"I thought about that," Rick told her. "Shooting may be more humane."  
"And what about the body? Do we bury him?" Sean muttered.

"Woah, hold on, hold on! You're talking about this like it's already decided!" Dale exclaimed.  
"You've been talking all day, going around in circles," Daryl told him. "You just wanna go around in circles again?"

"This is a young man's life, and it is worth more than a five-minute conversation! Is this what it's come to? We kill someone because we can't decide what else to do with him? You saved him and now look at us," Dale exclaimed, raising his voice even more. "He's been tortured. He's going to be executed. How are we any better than those people that we're so afraid of?"

"We all know what needs to be done," Shane said simply.  
"No, Dale is right, we can't leave any stone unturned here," Rick said.

"You once said that we don't kill the living."  
"Well, that was before the living tried to kill us," Rick said to Dale.  
"But don't you see? If we do this, the people that we were... The world that we knew is dead. It's... it's survival of the fittest. And that's a world I don't wanna live in, and I don't – And I don't believe that any of you do."

Honestly it has always been the survival of the fittest, but in other ways. Maybe we didn't want to live in a world like the one Dale mentioned but what could we do? We could only adapt to the way of life now and try to survive.  
Andrea, Lori, Shane, Dale and Rick started arguing, I could barely keep up with what they were saying until my mum spoke, telling them to just stop.  
"You can't ask us to decide something like this," she said and I hated to admit I agreed with her. "Please decide, either of you, both of you but leave me out."  
"Not speaking out or killing him yourself... There's no difference," Dale said.

"Oh come on, Dale!" I exclaimed angrily as I took two steps forward so I wasn't leaning on the wall anymore. "Don't you think this is hard enough for us? I lost my sister about a week ago, my mind and thoughts have been all over the place. I wish we had more options and this to be easier but don't ask us to go through this. They brought him here and I think they should be responsible for their actions and decide what to do with him. I don't care anymore what they do with him, I don't care about him, I'm sorry but I don't. I trust Rick to choose the right option."

With that, I crossed the room, feeling everyone's eyes on me and I stormed out of the house. It might be cruel and heartless but it was true. I had too much to deal with right now and I didn't want to carry with the guilt of killing someone so I better not be a part of it.  
I didn't need to stay until the end to know what the decision was going to be, only Dale was against killing him. Hershel, my mum and I didn't want to be part of it and the rest believed he was a threat we needed to get rid of.

It's harsh but it's the way things are now.

I got into Daryl's tent to rest a bit, going hunting with Daryl exhausted me and thanks to me we caught nothing, I made way too much noise or so Daryl claimed.

About half an hour later Daryl joined me. He stepped inside and lied next to me. He told me what I already knew, they had decided to kill him tonight.

"Rick, Shane and I will handle it," he told me and I just gave him a look. "You go eat with the rest, I don't want you all the way here on your own. I'll join you after we are done."

"You won't shoot him right?" I asked him. "You will just go in case something goes wrong, promise me you won't shoot him."

He sighed. "I promise. If Rick doesn't do it I'm sure Shane will be pleased to end this."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry if Dale upset you, he didn't have the right to say that to Carol. He should know that the two of you are still... sensible."

"Don't worry about it."

When the time came Daryl walked me to camp and left me with the others, while he, Shane and Rick took Randall to the barn. I stood close to Sean as we waited for the food to be ready. Teresa said nothing when she saw me but she smiled at me and I smiled back but there was no further contact than that.

Minutes later the first to return was Rick, Carl was right next to him. That couldn't mean anything good, when did he even get away?

"We're keeping him in custody... for now," Rick informed us.  
"I'm going to find Dale," Andrea said excitedly before running away in search of the old man.  
Lori didn't look happy with the information, she ordered Carl to go inside the tent without taking his eyes off of Rick. The rest of us just watched in silence. Rick approached his wife once Carl had gotten inside the tent.  
"He followed us," Rick told Lori but all of us could hear him. "He wanted to watch. I couldn't."  
"That's okay," she told him as she embraced Rick. "That's okay."

Daryl nor Shane had come back yet so I just went to sit next to Glenn, I couldn't spent more time with Sean because lately he just seemed more like my bodyguard or babysitter than my friend.

"Are you okay?" Glenn asked me.

"Yeah, I'm just a bit cold," I told him, hugging myself and rubbing my arms with my hands. "But the fire feels nice."

Glenn was going to say something to me when we heard screaming in the distance. We all jumped to our feet and grabbed our weapons. Carl ran to his mother, who held him in her arms quite tightly.

"T-dog, get a shotgun now!" Rich shouted.

"I want you to go in the house, I want you to lock the door and I want you to stay inside!" Lori said to Carl, who ran to the house. "Cici!" I turned to look at her. "Please go with him! Please!"

"But..."

"Take care of my son, please!"  
Reluctantly I ran after Carl, he was running to the house but then I saw him stop and turn around and running to where the screams came from, this boy I swear...

"Carl!" I shouted, he stopped and turned to look at me.

"We need to go!"

"Your mum trusted me to take care of you!" I told him. "If something happens to you I wouldn't be able to forgive myself and your mum would kill me!"

"But we can't just stay here!"

At that moment Andrea came shouting for Hershel, that could only mean that someone was badly hurt but still alive. We saw how Hershel and Andrea ran to where everybody was.

"Please, Cici! We have to go! I promise I won't walk out of your sight!" he exclaimed. "You can even grab my hand to make sure of that."

I sighed in defeat, grabbing his hand, truth was that I wanted to go as well. "Fine, but you let go and I promise we'll get back to the house."

I held his hand tightly as we ran to where everyone else was. I could see them all gathered in a circle, preventing us from seeing who was injured. We stopped running and approached the group slowly. I stepped behind Glenn and my mother and through a little space between them I looked down and at first all I saw was blood, the amount of it was sickening. For just a second I let go of Carl's hand to cover my mouth as I gasped at the sight, then I finally realized who was the person lying on the floor, it was Dale.

It took me a while to recover but when I did I noticed Carl had walked away from me and looked as startled and shocked as me but he wasn't looking at Dale, he was looking at the dead-dead walker that was almost next to Dale.

"What did I tell you?" I exclaimed at him, grabbing his arm and turning him around to face me.

Carl said nothing to me, he looked astonished. He just wrapped his arms around my waist and cried against my chest. He was even shaking. I ran my hands up and down his back, trying to comfort him.  
"He's suffering," I heard Andrea saying. "Do something!"

I raised my gaze to see Rick grabbing his gun and pointing it at Dale. I felt like my breathing hitched in my throat but I couldn't let that happen, instead I held Carl more tightly and kissed the top of his head.

Rick stayed frozen for a very long time, only looking down as he pointed his gun at Dale, who kept grunting in pain. Daryl slowly approached him and took the gun from Rick. Daryl knelt next to Dale, pointing the gun right at his forehead.  
"I'm sorry, brother," he said and seconds later we heard the shot.

I felt how Carl gripped the back of my shirt more tightly and felt how his body shook as he sobbed. I was crying too but mostly silently.

Everyone around us was crying so hard, even Hershel and Patricia, who didn't know him as much as we did.

I spotted Lori on her knees crying. I started to walk, my grip around Carl didn't even loosen a bit as I made my way towards her. The two of us collapsed to the floor and Lori wrapped us both in her arms, by now I had an arm around around Carl and the other around Lori.

We stayed like that for a very long time, eventually Rick came and joined us as well, hugging us all. But he let go quickly and pulled us up with the help of Sean and Daryl. Sean was the one to help me get up but it was Daryl who embraced me once he could let go of Lori.

Now that Carl was with his parents I could finally just break down. He no longer needed me, at least for now. I didn't have to be strong for him anymore. I hugged Daryl as tightly as I could, much like Carl did to me, and just cried into his chest. I didn't know if he was crying as well or if he was being strong for me.

None of us moved all night. As soon as the sun started to shine some people started to dig the grave, it was going to be right next to Sophia's. Other people got a blanket and covered the body and once the grave was done they carried the body to the grave to bury it.

A few minutes later all of us, the eighteen of us gathered in front of his grave to say our last good-bye to him. Daryl stood a bit separated from the group, while I was next to Carl, who would bury his head on my chest every once in a while as he cried. This time Hershel didn't talk like the last time, it was Rick.

"Dale could get into your skin. He sure got under mine, because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought, how he felt. That kind of honesty is rare and brave. Whenever I'd make a decision, I'd look at Dale, he'd be looking back at me with that look he had, we've all seen it one time or another. I couldn't always read him, but he could read us. He saw people for who they were. He knew things about us – The truth. Who we really are. In the end, he was talking about losing our humanity. He said this group was broken. The best way to honour him is to unbreak it. Set aside our differences and pull together, stop feeling sorry for ourselves and take control of our lives, our safety, our future. We're not broken. We're going to prove him wrong. From now on we're going do it his way. That is how we honour Dale."

I came back :D I was away and couldn't update but happy new year everyone!

QOTD: Did you like Dale?


	15. Chapter 15 - Illusory Safety

"It can take years to mold a dream. It takes only a fraction of a second for it to be shattered."

– Mary E. Pearson, The Kiss of Deception

After the funeral Andrea, Shane, T-Dog, Daryl and I got on a truck and went all around the farm to check the fences and to kill walkers if we found them inside or close to the property.

After the funeral Hershel invited us to move in with him and his family. He probably finally realized how dangerous the world had become now.

"It's going to be tight with eighteen people in the house," Rick said.

"Don't worry about that," Hershel told him. "With the swamp hardening, the creek drying up..." "With 50 head of cattle on the property, we might as well be ringing a damn dinner bell," Maggie added.  
"She's right," Hershel said."We should have moved you in a while ago."  
"All right, let's move the vehicles near each of the doors," Rick told us. "Facing out toward the road. We'll build a lookout in the windmill, another in the barn loft. That should give us sight-lines on both sides of the property. T-Dog, you take the perimeter around the house, keep track of everyone coming and going."  
"What about standing guard?" T-Dog asked.

"I need you and Daryl on double duty."  
"Gotcha."  
"I'll stock the basement with food and water, enough that we can all survive there a few days if needed," Hershel told us as he carried some boxes inside.  
"What about patrols?" Andrea asked.

"Let's get this area locked down first after that, Shane will assign shifts while me and Daryl take Randall off-site and cut him loose."

"We're back to that now?" Shane asked, sounding not happy about it.

"It was the right plan first time around," Rick told him. "Poor execution."

"That's a slight understatement."

"You don't agree, but this is what's happening," Rick told Shane."Swallow it – Move on."  
"You know that Dale's death and the prisoner, that's two separate things, right?" Shane said. "You wanna take Daryl as your wingman, be my guest."  
"Thank you."  
"You got it."

We packed all our stuff and put them on the truck so we didn't have to carry everything to the house, we were just walking to the house, following the trunk when Carl approached me, he looked nervous and wouldn't look up at me.

"Hey Cici, can I talk to you?"

"Of course," I told him, putting an arm around his shoulder, stopping in our tracks. "What is it?"

Carl looked behind me, towards the others. He made sure the rest were far enough from us to not hear us and made sure no one was looking at us as well and then took out a gun, I opened my eyes wide in shock and quickly took it from his hands.  
"I took it from Daryl's motorcycle," he told me. "If he found out I took it, he'd kill me."  
"He won't kill you, Carl," I said, making sure the safe was on. "Why did you take it, though?"

"It's my fault that Dale died. If I had..."  
"Carl, why would you say something like that? A walker..."  
"I saw that walker," he exclaimed, interrupting me. "I was going to shoot it. He was stuck in the mud. I was – I was throwing rocks at him and stuff. But I was going to do it, shoot it right in the head. And it – it got free, came after me and I ran away. If I had killed it, Dale would still be here."

"No, Carl. You can't blame yourself for that, it wasn't you fault, okay?" I told him, putting both my hands on each of his shoulders and looked him straight in the eye. "But I don't want you to go alone again, if you want to go for a walk and don't want your parents around, tell me and I'll go with you and if you see another walker you must tell us, okay? I won't let anything happen to you."

I wrapped the boy in my arms, he was really shaken up but I think he didn't cry. He hugged me back really tight, like if he was afraid and only I could protect him.

"Thank you," he said as he pulled away. "And please give the gun back to Daryl and if possible don't tell him it was me."

"Carl?" He just nodded to let me know to go on. "Why are you giving me this? Why not tell your parents?"

"Because they wouldn't understand. They freak out easily, you don't. You've calmly listened to me and didn't start shouting at me like they would have had, and I trust you," he told me. "Besides, you and Daryl seem like you are really close, I figured he wouldn't be so mad if you give him his gun back."

"I'm happy you trust me," I said, giving him a small hug again. "You can always trust me, but you should trust your parents as well, if you don't know how to talk to them, I could help you."

"I know," he said with a tiny small. "Thanks."

"Now let's go, we need to move our things into the house and unpack."

The living room and the extra rooms in the house were full, Beth wanted me to stay with her but of course many people didn't like the idea but it was the only place left and we weren't going to do anything stupid, we had gotten over that or at least I was.

I grabbed my things and took them upstairs, Beth was making some room for my stuff, I smiled at her and put my things in a corner. I barely had two trousers and around six shirts so it really wasn't much.

"Thank you," I told her.

"No problem, I love having you around."

After I got all of my stuff settled which didn't take long because I barely had stuff now, I went outside and saw Daryl and Rick, looking at a map and planning where to take Randall.

"Take him out to Senoia, hour there, hour back, give or take," Rick told Daryl. "We may lose the light, but we'll be halfway home by then." I smiled as I heard Rick say the word 'home', a word we hadn't been able to say in weeks.  
"This little pain in the ass will be a distant memory," Daryl said. "Good riddance."

"Carol's putting together some provisions for him, enough to last a few days," Rick said. "That thing you did last night..."

"Ain't no reason you should do all the heavy lifting," Daryl told him.

"So are you good with all this?"

"I don't see you and I trading haymakers on the side of the road. Nobody'd win that fight," Daryl said.

I approached them then and they both acknowledged me, they smiled at me and I smiled back at them. I had been thinking about what Carl told me and I wondered what I should do for a long time and I decided I should tell Rick what Carl said earlier. I hoped he will still trust me after this. I took Daryl's gun from the waistband of my jeans and handed it to him, he was going to ask me where I got it from but I spoke, turning to look at Rick.

I was going to tell Daryl I found it on the ground on my way here but I was going to tell Rick the truth and Daryl was going to listen and it was just fair for him to know.

"Uh, Rick, I need to talk to you," I said, getting very nervous.  
"Sure, what is it?" Rick asked.

"It's about Carl. He said some things to me today. He was out in the swamps yesterday and he came across a walker, it was stuck in the mud."

"The same walker that killed Dale?"

"Yeah, that's the one." I nodded.

At that moment Shane drove to the house, got out of the car and stayed right in front of us, listening to the conversation. I wasn't feeling uncomfortable with Daryl listening but I was with Shane.

"He said he was going to shoot him," I said, looking from Rick to Daryl. "He took Daryl's gun. But he got scared and ran off, he said the walker got free and tried to attack him. Rick, I think he needs you. I'm flattered he trusts me and feels like he can talk to me but I think he truly wants to talk to you but doesn't know how and I think it would be nice if you could say a few words before you leave."  
"That sounds good, Rick," Shane said. "How about I ride out with Daryl? Good for us to spend a little time together."  
"Nah, I need you here," Rick said sternly.  
"Don't think I'll handle it right, huh?"

"Didn't say that.  
"What you say?" Shane exclaimed. "Freeing that prisoner is more important to you than Carl?"

I took a deep breath, this was why I didn't want Shane to be here. I was waiting for Rick to snap but he didn't. Shane left after that, leaving an angry Rick behind.

"I'm sorry," I muttered.

"I'll be right back," he told me and walked away, probably to talk to Carl, leaving Daryl and me alone.

"Hey," I said to him, turning to look down at him, he was sitting on the rail. "Can I ask you a favour?"

"Sure."

"Carl is afraid you are going to kill him, because of your gun, he begged me to not tell you it was him so, can you pretend I didn't tell you?"

"Alright," he said. "If you tell me one thing."

"Okay, what do you want to know?" I asked him.

"I've been wanting to ask you this for a while but never got the chance to ask you. I was just wondering," he said, looking right into my eyes. "How did you learn to shoot so well? I saw you..." He made a little pause. "... that day and you shot almost every walker right in the head. It surprised me."

"I'm full of surprises," I said with a shrug and a little chuckle, pretending it didn't sadden me to think of that day when Shane opened the barn and all hell broke loose.

"As far as I knew you were just an innocent and harmless girl that would never have a gun, so how did you learn?"

I took a deep breath and sat next to him, looking at the woods instead of him. I always tried to hide my gun because I knew people would ask me this and I didn't want to talk about it.

"It's not a big secret how my father treated us but probably some people don't know how bad it was. He sent me to hospital some times, broke some bones, my neck a couple of times, it was bad, you know? And I hated to feel so helpless and I hated him for humiliating me in that way and how I couldn't fight back," I told him, I felt a bit exposed but comfortable, he was the first person to know besides Teresa. "As soon as I moved out I bought a gun, I learnt to shoot and I got into self defence and Taekwondo classes. I was sick of feeling so fragile, so weak, so helpless, I needed to do it."

"I'm sorry," he muttered as I finally looked at him.

"It's okay." I nodded. "He's gone now. He can't hurt us anymore."

"Still, no one deserves to go through that."

"Sophia couldn't understand why I left her and I still feel terrible for that but I couldn't live there anymore and once I got away I just kept my distance and avoided them because deep inside of me I knew that with only a wrong movement or word from him I would just... snap and beat the shit out of him and I wouldn't be able to stop or I would just do it quickly and shoot him, I knew, and I didn't want to carry with that. I didn't want to kill my father, not because I didn't want him gone because that was what I wanted the most but because I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt."

I heard Daryl taking a very deep breath and then felt strong arms wrapping around me, pulling me closer to him. I had never told someone I wanted my father to die, no one. I never told anyone he sent me to the hospital. Teresa knew he was abusive but not that abusive.

"Thanks for listening," I told him, not wanting to let go of him.

"Sorry I asked you, I didn't think you learnt because of him."

"I wouldn't have told you if I didn't want to, I guess it feels good to finally get it out."

I thought Daryl was going to let go of me then but he just tightened his grip on me, so, I rested my head on his shoulder. After a bit he slowly loosened his grip and I raised my head. Somehow, my face ended only inches away from his, I had never seen his eyes so close and I had never had him looking at me from such a short distance, truth was that it was intimidating. As I thought about it, about how close we were, Daryl started leaning in, so slowly, I didn't notice at first. I bit my lip and started closing my eyes, just like Daryl was doing.

"Guys!" we heard T-Dog as he ran to us, making us jerk our heads in his direction and look at him. "Randall, he's missing!"  
Daryl and I let go of each other, Daryl and Andrea followed T-Dog to the shed where the boy was supposed to be, while I went to the barn to find Rick after Lori told me where he was. Once I found him I told him the problem and we both ran to the shed.

Soon, the rest of the group joined us. Everyone started asking how that was possible and a lot of other questions. We were all so nervous about the situation, we had no idea how he escaped or where he could be.

"The cuffs are still hooked," Rick said. "He must have slipped them."  
"Is that possible?" I asked.

"It is if you've got nothing to lose," Andrea said.  
"The door was secured from the outside," Hershel pointed out.

"So he might have escaped from another opening," I said. "Or someone forgot to lock the door and he did put the padlock after he escaped."  
"Rick! Rick!" We heard Shane yelling, he was coming from the woods and as he got closer I noticed he was bleeding. "He's armed! He's got my gun!"

"Are you okay?" Carl asked him.

"I'm fine," Shane said. "Little bastard just snuck up on me. He clocked me in the face."  
"Alright, Hershel, T-Dog, Oliver, get everybody back in the house!" Rick ordered. "Glenn, Daryl, Sean, come with us."

"I want to go too!" I exclaimed.

"No," Rick, Sean and Daryl exclaimed at the same time, I only gave them all a look.

"I'm a better shot than Sean!" I exclaimed in disbelief, not believing Rick chose him over me.

Rick, who looked really stressed and tensed, just looked at me in a way to tell me that he wasn't in the mood to argue but when he noticed I was determined he walked towards me.

"Cici, I know you can shoot better than him," he whispered to me in an urgent tone. "I know and that's why I need you there. You need to protect your mum, your friends, Carl and the rest of them. Only you and T-Dog can shoot well, they need you more than we do. Please, Cici." Reluctantly I nodded at him but I knew that what he was saying was true, unfortunately.  
"Just let him go," my mother said. "That was the plan, wasn't it, to just let him go?"

"The plan was to cut him loose far away from here, not on our front step with a gun," Rick told her.  
"Don't go out there. You all know what can happen!" she exclaimed but none of the guys stopped.  
"Get everybody back in the house," Rick said, turning his head slightly to look at us but he never stopped walking. "Lock all the doors and stay put."

The rest of us ran to the house, T-Dog locked the door and stayed by the window in case Randall was around.

"I can't believe what that boy did to Shane," Lori commented, breaking the awkward silence.  
"Don't you think it's weird, though?" Teresa said. "I mean, how can a boy like him do that to Shane? He was a cop before all of this, I'm just saying it's weird."

I didn't want to say it but I believed the same as Teresa. Shane was a strong and smart guy, they could have gotten into a fight but I really didn't believe Randall being able to do so much damage. Something was off.

It started to get dark and we were all getting more nervous and uneasy about all of this. Not only Randall was out there with a gun but it might be possible that walkers were in the woods.

I couldn't take it anymore, so I excused myself, I went to the kitchen to drink some water and afterwards I was going to lie down for a bit but I saw the back door of the house opened, I stepped outside and saw a small figure running away.

"Shit," I muttered.

I closed the door and ran after the boy as fast as I could. We were already in the woods when I caught up with him.  
"What are you doing?" I shouted, trying hard to keep my voice low because of the walkers or Randall but failing.

"You scared the crap..."

"Carl!" I said quickly. "What did I tell you today? I told you I didn't want you wandering around alone, especially at night! What the hell were you thinking!?"

"Please, I need to go, I've got a bad feeling about this! Please!"

"I thought I told you today that you could trust me, you could tell me anything!"

"I thought you wouldn't support this and you were with everyone else, I couldn't talk with you without making my mum suspect something. Please, Cici, I need to do this. I won't go back to the house without my dad."

"I swear you are going to get me murdered by your parents," I said with a big sigh. "If we don't find them in twenty minutes, we are going back, understand?"

"Okay," he muttered.

I held my gun tight in my left hand as Carl and I jogged through the woods. We hadn't found any of the guys and luckily we hadn't run into a walker or Randall but that didn't mean we didn't have to be careful.

"Carl, I think we should go back."

"Come on!" Carl said, grabbing my free hand and pulling me with him in the direction we were going. He wasn't going to give up. What was I gotten myself into?

We got to the end of the woods, to a meadow. The moon was full and bright above us, making everything a bit clearer and lighter, I gasped when I saw two dark figures in the distance, one was pointing his gun at the other. At first I didn't recognize them but I heard Rick's voice and then it clicked. The other person was Shane.

I wanted to go there and help Rick but my priority was Carl, who started to run towards them. I ran after him and caught him, stopping him from getting any closer to them. Luckily they hadn't seen or heard us.

"But my dad!"

"You can get hurt!" I exclaimed. "If you promise me you'll...!"

I was interrupted by the sound of a gunshot. I jumped and put Carl behind me, anyone could have gotten hurt and if it was Rick then Shane could come for us and kill us because we witnessed it. Luckily, Rick was okay. We heard his cries and his screams as he mourned his best friend. He stood up and kept looking at Shane while I tried to calm Carl down. But he didn't, instead he took the gun from my hand and ran away from me.

"Carl!" I shouted and ran after him and that's when Rick finally acknowledged our presence. He turned to look at us in shock, and slowly took a few steps towards us.

"Carl," he said, the boy had tears in his eyes and I wanted to take the gun from him but I didn't want to make a mistake. "You know, you should be back home with mum, the two of you."

By now Rick was only a few steps away from us. I was about to take my gun from Carl's grip when he raised his hands in a very fast motion and pointed it at his father.  
"Just – just put the – put the gun down." Rick said.

"Come on, Carl, you don't want to do this," I said, kneeling next to him but I didn't dare to touch him or get that close to him. "Carl!"  
"It's not what it seems," Rick said. "Please!"  
At that moment I saw a small flash and heard the gunshot. I instantly turned to look at Rick, I heard a body falling to the ground but he was still on his feet. I stood up and embraced Carl as soon as his hand dropped to his side and when I could I took the gun from him.

The only other person there was Shane. Rick quickly approached him and we followed him, he told us to wait but of course, we didn't listen and stood right next to Shane's body. He was a walker and if Carl hadn't shot him he would have bit Rick.

"Come on," Rick said, putting an arm around Carl and another around me and the three of us starting walking back to the house.

"Was – was he bit?" I asked Rick.

"Were you bit too?" Carl asked quickly.

"No," Rick said, tensing a bit.

"Shane was," Carl said.

"That wasn't Shane. You know that."

"So, what happened?" I asked.

"Were you guys attacked?" Carl added. "We heard the shotgun but we didn't see walkers. Dad, how did Shane die?"

Rick dropped his hand that was on my shoulder and turned his body to face Carl. I turned around and instantly my blood went cold. I opened my mouth but no sound was coming out, I wanted to scream but that would be a bad idea, instead I pulled at Rick's jacket. He turned to look at me and still I couldn't say anything out of shock, so instead I just pointed in front of me. Rick looked at where I was pointing and immediately I could see how his expression change.

"Oh my God," he muttered in a very low tone, putting his hands on our backs and pushing us in the other direction. "Go, go, go, go, go!"

We started running as quietly as we could, we saw a few walkers on our way back but we just avoided them. We didn't kill them, we didn't have time. We stopped right next to a tree that was close to the barn. Trying to think of a way to not get ambushed.

"We – we gotta get to the house, tell the others," Carl whispered.  
"We'll never get through that, can't go around," Rick said. "Carl, Cecilia, stay close."

The three of us started running again, some walkers tried to get us but we just moved out of the way quickly,we kept going to the barn without stopping once. Carl and I ran in first, followed by Rick who closed the doors.

We grabbed some containers with gasoline and started to pour it down on the ground. Rick got the idea to burn the barn so we could kill a few and attract others so we could maybe have a chance to escape.

"Alright," Rick said, throwing the container. "Go up there!"

"What about you?" Carl asked him.

"I'll be right there," he told him, handing him a lighter. "Drop the lighter when I say. We'll stop some of them from reaching the house and distract the others, so at least we'll have a chance. Hey, you can do this. Carl, I love you. I love you too Cici, now go!"  
Carl and I hurried to go up, while Rick ran to the doors, he yelled and kicked at them to get the attention of as many walkers as possible.  
"You want some?! Come and get it!" he shouted as he opened the door. "Come on! Come on!"

It was hard to tell but in just seconds there were about fifty walkers inside the barn, it was crazy. Rick kept yelling at them, even after he went up the ladder.

"Carl, now!" Rick shouted when he was already at the top.

Carl did as he was told, once the lighter was ready he let it drop and instantly the barn started to burn. It was a bit disturbing to see all those walkers getting burned and all they cared about was eating us, there was nothing else in their minds.

We got out through a little opening and about a couple of minutes later we saw Jimmy driving the RV towards us. He stopped the RV almost in front of us and we jumped to the RV's ceiling, we went down the little ladder that was at the back of RV. Rick and I shot about fifteen that were crowding around us before we could run somewhere else.

We were lucky to escape the barn but unfortunately Jimmy wasn't so lucky. He was being eaten alive inside the RV but we couldn't do anything to help him, we just ran.

For a long time I saw nothing but walkers, it was crazy. But then I heard someone screaming, I stopped but Rick and Carl didn't at first.

"Cici!" Carl shouted.

"You guys go! I'll go after you! Just go now!" I screamed and ran in the other direction as they shouted my name but I kept running.

As I got closer to the house I recognized the screams, Patricia. There were about twenty walkers gathered together and I assumed Patricia was there. I kept running to see Lori with Beth and a few feet away I saw my mother, who was being cornered by two walkers.

"Mum!" I yelled and ran after her, my gun in hand.

I stopped to have a good aim and shot one of the walkers, I was going to shoot the other when I saw someone had just shot it. Andrea was right beside me.

My mother screamed at the top of her lungs, Andrea and I turned around to see two walkers almost on top of us. I shot one and it fell on top of me. I pushed him to the side and saw Andrea on the floor as well.

"Are you alright? Did it bit you?" I asked her as I pushed the walker off of her.

"No, what about you?"

"No, I'm fine."

I turned around to see my mother was no longer there. I could only see dozens and dozens around us. Andrea grabbed my hand and pulled me with her.

In the distance we saw Rick, Carl, and Hershel getting into a red car, we ran to them, screamed, waved at them but they didn't see us, they just left us there.

I stared in disbelief at that last car driving away from us. They had all left, we didn't have a chance to survive anymore. I felt hot tears in my eyes as I fell down on my knees, knowing that I would die soon and as I did, I actually regretted not killing myself when I had the chance. It would have been so peaceful and I wouldn't be eaten alive.

But it wasn't too late for that, I had my silver-coloured gun right in my hand, it would only take a second or two and BAM everything would be over, good-bye world.

Guys, I have a question. When the prison is attacked and if I decide to separate Daryl and Cecilia (not sure if I would do that yet) should I write in both their POV's or just Cecilia's?

Also, I was thinking of keeping Mika alive? Or maybe even Meghan (Tara's niece), what do you think of that? Should I keep one of them alive, and if so, who? Or the two of them?

Please comment, I need your opinion! :)


	16. Chapter 16 - Separate Ways

"The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die."

\- Juliette Lewis

I wasn't sure how long Andrea and I had run but it wasn't night anymore. Andrea and I managed to get to the woods untouched and luckily for us it was daytime now, so we could see where we were running to instead of blindly walk in the dark.

We ran and ran, walkers kept following us, others came the way we were going to or from the sides and we had to evade those or kill them but we mostly just ran.

Andrea was carrying the bag full with guns, rifles and ammunition, she even handed me an extra gun because I was close to run out of ammunition.

After Rick drove away and left us, I shakily brought the gun to my head, I was kneeling on the floor, tears rolling down my face, I was ready to pull the trigger but Andrea stopped me. She hit my arm away, making me drop the gun on the floor and she told me that I couldn't leave her alone, that we should at least try to escape and that if we were cornered then I could to it, that if I wanted she would kill me herself.

So here I was, running for my life. We got to a quite calm part of the woods where we could take a small break, catch our breath and reload our guns and grabbing some more ammunition and putting it in our pockets in case we needed it after.

Some walkers came closer to us then, Andrea shot them quickly, then she got the bag again and we started to run again. They were approaching us from every corner, they kept coming and no matter how many we killed there were always more after us.

"I can't run anymore," I muttered, stopping in my tracks, taking really big breaths.

"Cici, you can! Come on!" she exclaimed, grabbing my hand and pulling me along.

It is amazing how the adrenaline makes you keep going, no matter how exhausted you are, how fatigued your muscles are. The adrenaline plus the will to live makes you do things that in other circumstances seem impossible to do. For example, now. We had been running for almost the whole night and part of the day and we were still going.

My whole body was drenched in sweat, my hair was wet, even when the temperature was low. My clothes were starting to get wet as well making them slightly weight more and seem colder as time passed.

My body was in so much pain, every muscle in my body was aching, and I'd gotten side stitches. My will was getting smaller and smaller and every step I took seemed to drain all my energy. If we didn't stop this soon, my body and mind were just going to give up.

About an hour later we found another good place to rest for at least some seconds. We had left behind every walker that was following us. I collapsed to the floor and leant my back against a tree, I was taking really deep breaths as I pressed my side to relieve the pain I had under my ribs. Andrea panted and leaned against another tree, her face was very red from all the time we had been running and I assumed mine was like that.

"I think it's past mid-day," she told me, looking up at the sky. "Look at the sun."

"We couldn't have run for twelve hours or more, Andrea," I told her. "It can't be that long."

"It has to be."

"Doesn't these woods have an end?" I asked desperately. "If we have run for more than half a day, don't you think we should be close to the highway or just somewhere out of the woods?"

"I hope we are, Cici, I do," she said. "We won't be able to keep up if we don't get out of here soon."

"What if we are getting farther away?"

"I'm almost sure we aren't."

Then we saw three walkers coming our way. I tried to stand up but I couldn't, I had no strength left in my arms and legs, they just shook under my weight and refused to work.

"Come on!" Andrea begged. "Come on!"

"I can't!" I desperately exclaimed.

Andrea turned to shoot the three walkers quickly and then turned to me, grabbing my hands and with a lot of effort, getting me up to my feet.

"Think about Teresa and Oliver and Sean," she said, looking right into my eyes. "Carl, your mother, Daryl, Beth, all of them, just think about them all to find strength."

I thought about Carl first as I ran after Andrea. We had been very close since the start, he was as old as Sophia and I felt like he was my little brother.

When my family got stuck in traffic as we were going to the refugee centre, we met Carl, Lori and Shane. Their car was right behind ours, while Oliver's was in front of my mother's. Sophia invited Carl to play checkers to pass time, and he kept talking not only to Sophia but to me as well.

I used to take care of him a lot in our camp, I had to keep an eye on Sophia so why not on him as well? I got very fond of him quickly and after Sophia died and once I got better, mentally, I got really protective of him. I felt like I needed to protect him, I failed Sophia once and it costed her, her life, I couldn't fail him too.

As we ran I tried to remember every single moment we spent together, bad or good. My last ones were from last night and I could only hope he was okay.

The next person I thought about was my mother. We were very close during my childhood, our relationship started to drift apart when I was around fourteen, when I saw how weak she was and that she wouldn't even try to keep me safe. She would cry as my father hit me repeatedly but never tried to stop him, a part of me blamed her for what was happening to me. I believed she was as guilty as my father for not even trying to help me and I started to hold grunges against her.

The last weeks had been rough on us, especially after what happened to Sophia, we hadn't talk since then but we were starting to work out the problems, just last morning she asked me how I slept, it may seemed insignificant but after not talking in so long and being avoided by her, those few words were a lot of process.

I wished I could get out of here alive to tell her that I love her and that I always have loved her, no matter what. After all, she was the only family I've got left and I needed to fight for her.

No one's POV

It was a very tough and long night, people barely got out alive. Rick couldn't believe how lucky they were that most of them were alright and that somehow they had found each other. It was such an emotional moment when everyone found the rest and they hugged each other.

"Where's the rest of us?" Daryl asked, noticing a few were missing.

"We're the only ones who made it so far," Rick told him.  
"Shane?" Lori asked and Rick only sadly shook his head.

"Patricia?" Hershel asked.

"They got her, too. Took her right in front of me," Beth muttered, at the verge of tears. "I was holding onto her, daddy." Beth buried her head in her father's chest but then looked up fast. "What about Jimmy? Did you see him?"

"He was in the RV," Rick told her. "It got overrun."

"And Andrea?" Glenn asked.

"She saved me," Carol said. "Then I lost her."  
"We saw her go down," T-Dog added. "At the same time as Cecilia."  
At that Teresa broke down and hugged Oliver tightly. She didn't just lose her best friend but they weren't in the best of terms when it happened, she felt guilty. She wished she could go back in time and make things right, same as Oliver.

They just couldn't deal with her when she got very depressed. They didn't know how to help her, how to make it alright, so they just unconsciously pushed her away and kept their distance until they had pushed her way too far that they didn't know how to get close to her again.  
"You definitely saw them?" Carol asked, being extremely calmed even when she was talking about her older daughter's possible death.

"I'm gonna go back," Daryl exclaimed, he was already walking to his motorcycle.  
"No," Rick told him.  
"We can't just leave her, them."  
"We don't even know if they are there," Lori said.  
"They aren't there. They aren't." His voice showed how sure he was of that. "They are somewhere else or they are dead."

"But dad we can't leave Cici!" Carl cried, tears were already falling down his pale freckled cheeks.  
"If she's alive, there's no way to find her."

"So we're not even gonna look for them?" Daryl asked him in shock, trying so hard to not shout at Rick.

"We got to keep moving," Rick said. "There have been walkers crawling all over here."  
"I say head east," T-Dog exclaimed.  
"Stay off the main roads. The bigger the road, the more walkers, more assholes like this one," Daryl said as a walker was going towards them. Daryl got his crossbow and pointed at it, a gun would make a lot of noise and attract more. "I got him."  
They all got in the vehicles after that. Rick, Lori, Carl and Carol got into the red USV, Glenn, Hershel, Maggie and Beth got into the lime green car, T-Dog, Sean, Oliver and Teresa got into Oliver's red BMW, while Daryl got on his motorcycle again. Carol was going with him again when he stopped her, he just wanted some time alone.

The only two people he had truly cared about were gone. First Merle, that was a very hard blow but he got over it, he understood but now Cecilia was gone as well.

He didn't even know how, why or when he started to get fond of her. When he saw her that night lying on the ground he offered her to stay in his tent because he understood what she was going through. He knew about her father and he knew what that was like. He saw some bruises on her skin and Merle had told him how Ed hit Cecilia by the lake some days before that. Daryl was just being a bit compassionate, it didn't mean anything else than that.

And then at the CDC he just wanted to be alone because of Merle but Cecilia beat him to it. It was either share with her, Andrea or Dale, the other rooms had more than a person in them. And of course that he chose to share the room with Cecilia, she was less annoying than Dale and it would be too awkward if he shared it with Andrea.

Then that night he saw her kissing that Sean kid and he felt such rage that it scared him. He was so mad at her and a part of him convinced himself that it was because she took the room from him, because she couldn't leave him alone but it was not until now that he thought of the possibility that it could have been jealousy.

Daryl scoffed at the thought of jealousy. Daryl had never been with someone, he just wasn't that kind of guy, and he was for sure not a jealous man, especially because he didn't care about anyone.

Then his thoughts focused on the time when she was lost. He wanted nothing else than to find those girls, he couldn't explain what got into him, he just wanted to find them and when he finally found Cecilia, what he felt was something that he couldn't put into words. He had never felt so relieved and so happy and so grateful even when he had an arrow on his side and he was later almost shot but all that was worth it because he did find her.

And somehow that created a bond between him and that girl and day by day that bond just got stronger and stronger. It happened so quickly that he couldn't stop it or even control it. When he finally noticed, it was already too late, he already cared too much for Cecilia.

For most of his life, Daryl was alone. He never had a person to hug him, to spend a nice time with him, or just have someone there for him, even just to make him company, to make him laugh and to spend a night watching the moon and the stars. It was so far from Daryl's reality and it was so strange for him that even when he had a minimal chance to have that he would just push it away.

But then Cecilia came along and before he knew it they had gotten so close they were doing things he never thought he would do with someone. Like those times they would hug, or when he comforted her after her sister died or when she wanted to kill herself or even when she comforted him. Losing Sophia had such a big effect on him that he wasn't sure he would have gotten over it without Cecilia.

And now she was gone as well. He couldn't imagine how he was going to move on from this. The only person that he cared about and also cared about him was gone, just gone. She wouldn't be there to say something silly, making him laugh, or she wouldn't be there to help him when he got injured and who would be there to watch the night sky with him? And she wouldn't be there to unexpectedly wrap her arms around him, make his breath get caught in his throat and making his heart start beating like crazy, all that was over and he now could only wish he would have cherished those moments instead of pretending he didn't enjoy them.

Daryl hadn't cried since Merle got cuffed to that roof and he lost him, not a single tear had rolled down his face since then. He was more upset than sad about Sophia and he didn't cry about her even when her death hurt him deeply but now he was a mess. As he led the way he couldn't stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks.

He didn't even know how much Cecilia meant to him until he lost her.

He was so lost in the memories and the thoughts that he was startled when he heard a honk. He noticed the three other cars had slowed down until they all stopped moving. He stopped Merle's, well now his motorcycle and quickly wiped his tears.

"You out?" Daryl asked Rick once he saw him running in his direction, not daring to look up for a long time. His voice was hoarse and a bit husky but he was sure no one really noticed.

"Running on fumes," Rick informed them.  
"We can't stay here," Maggie said.  
"We can't all fit in two cars," Glenn said.  
"We'll have to make a run for some gas in the morning," Rick told them.  
"Spend the night here?" Carol asked a bit surprised.

"I'm freezing!" Carl exclaimed.  
"We'll build a fire, yeah?" Lori said, wrapping an arm around Carl.

"You go out looking for firewood, stay close," Daryl said. "Only got so many arrows. How are you doing on ammo?"

"Not enough," Rick said. The bag and the ammunition had been left behind.

"We can't just sit here with our asses hanging out!" Maggie exclaimed.  
"Watch your mouth," Hershel scolded her. "Everyone stop panicking and listen to Rick."  
"All right, we'll set up a perimeter. In the morning, we'll find gas and some supplies. We'll keep pushing on."  
"Glenn and I can go make a run now, try and scrounge up some gas," Maggie suggested.  
"No, we stay together," Rick told her. God forbid something happens and people get stranded without a car."  
"Rick, we're stranded now," Glenn pointed out.  
"I know it looks bad, we've all been through hell and worse, but at least we found each other. I wasn't sure I really wasn't but we did. We're together. We keep it that way. We'll find shelter somewhere. There's gotta be a place."  
"Rick, look around, okay? There's walkers everywhere. They're migrating or something," Glenn said, trying to get some sense into Rick.  
"There's gotta be a place not just where we hole up, but that we fortify, hunker down, pull ourselves together, build a life for each other. I know it's out there. We just have to find it."  
"Even if we do find a place and we think it's safe, we can never be sure," Maggie told him. "For how long? Look what happened with the farm. We fooled ourselves into thinking that that was safe."  
"We won't make that mistake again," Hershel exclaimed as he hold a rifle quite tightly.

Everyone was pretty shaken up and none of them felt okay with the idea of not going looking for supplies now and staying the night there, not when there were hundreds of walkers only miles away.

"What if walkers come through, or another group like Randall's?" Teresa asked.

"You know I found Randall, right?" Daryl asked Rick. "He had turned, but he wasn't bit."  
"How's that possible?" Beth asked.

"Rick, what the hell happened?" Lori asked.

"Shane killed Randall. Just like he always wanted to," Daryl told them.  
"And then the herd got him?" Lori asked.

"We're all infected," Rick said suddenly.  
"What?" Daryl asked after a long silence followed Rick's statement.

"At the CDC, Jenner told me. Whatever it is, we all carry it."  
"And you never said anything?" Carol exclaimed.

"Would it have made a difference?"

"You knew this whole time?" Glenn asked indignantly.

"How could I have known for sure? You saw how crazy that ma..."

"That is not your call, okay? When I found out about the walkers in the barn, I told, for the good of everyone."

"Well, I thought it best that people didn't know."

Rick decided to make camp right in front of where they were. There were some walls in there, it could help stop the wind, making them feel not so cold.

Rick had walked away from them after he told them they were all infected, of course they didn't take it well. He would have taken it worse when he was told if he wasn't about to die.

Soon, the sun went down, leaving them in darkness but luckily the moon was full again, so that helped a lot.

Most members of the group, especially Carol didn't feel safe around Rick anymore, not after he kept something like that from them.

Hershel and his girls didn't mind, they trusted him. Sean didn't even care about that, he finally got time to assimilate his uncle and last family member was dead, that was the only thing that was on his mind at the moment. He got in a corner away from everybody and cried.

Lori knew what happened and she was very shocked but deep inside of her she knew Rick did what he had to do about Shane but that didn't make her any less angrier about Rick not telling them they were all infected.

Daryl was upset and shocked as well but he trusted Rick and that really wasn't his priority at the moment. When the night fell, after he got some wood for the fire, his mind went back to Cecilia. He missed her so much already, he knew that if she was here, she would be so close to him, rubbing her arms to make herself warm. And because they hadn't show any affection towards the other in public he wasn't sure if she would have wrapped her arms around him but if she did he wouldn't have a choice but to hug her back, and that would have felt nice and they would keep each other warm.

As Daryl thought about what Cecilia would be doing right now if she was there, they heard a branch snapping close to them. Everyone got alarmed, Maggie wanted to keep moving but Rick didn't want anyone to get lost.  
"No one is going anywhere!" he exclaimed.  
"Do something!" Carol demanded.  
"I am doing something! I'm keeping this group together, alive," Rick turned to look at Carol and shouted, losing his patience. "I've been doing that all along, no matter what. I didn't ask for this. I killed my best friend for you people, for Christ's sake!"

After that a very long and awkward silenced followed, except for a few gasps. Sean stared at Rick in disbelief and more tears rolled down his green eyes.

"You killed my uncle?" he asked in a small broken voice.

"You saw what he was like, how he pushed me, how he compromised us, how he threatened us. He staged the whole Randall thing, led me out to put a bullet in my back! He gave me no choice. He was my friend, but he came after me. My hands are clean," he exclaimed to everyone but mostly at Sean, lowering his voice a bit. Carl started to cry. "Maybe you people are better off without me, go ahead! I say there's a place for us, but maybe maybe it's just another pipe dream, maybe just maybe I'm fooling myself again. Why don't you – why don't you go and find out yourself? Send me a postcard. Go on, there's the door. You can do better? Let's see how far you get." No one moved. "No takers? Fine. But get one thing straight, if you're staying this isn't a democracy anymore."

Nobody said anything else for the rest of the night. An awkward silence fell upon them and kept like that for hours. The Greene family stayed together in one corner close to the fire, T-Dog stood a bit far from the rest, watching all around in case of any danger, Oliver was on the other side doing the same, mostly to keep his mind occupy. Lori and Carl had already fell asleep, Carl was in his mother's arms only a few feet away from Glenn, who was fidgeting in his place, unable to fall asleep.

Rick stayed a little bit away from the group but still close in case of anything, so many things were going through his head that he couldn't even sit down and rest for a bit. Carol sat against a tree with her knees bent and her head buried in them, Teresa dared to sit next to her, Carol didn't push her away but didn't welcome her either, honestly, she wanted to be alone, all her family was dead, her husband and two daughters, they were... gone, just gone.

Daryl had sat away from everyone else but still in the camp site and close to the fire because the night was cold, with a sigh Daryl lied down on his side and as he did he felt something was pinching the upper part of his thigh. He sat up again and searched inside his pocket, when he looked down at what he was now holding he felt like an arrow had gone through him, there in his hand was the Eric Cartman earring he had forgotten to give back to Cecilia. He took a deep breath to relieve the lump he felt in his throat. He felt like throwing the piece of cheap jewellery and scream as loud as he could out of pure rage but he didn't dare to, no, he was going to hold on to that and keep it forever. So, he put it back in his pocket and made sure he wasn't going to lose it.

Sean was too confused, his uncle's best friend killed him and he felt like he needed to do something, at least a good punch, but he saw himself how his uncle changed after he found out Rick hadn't died. He went crazy and a part of Sean wanted to believe Rick, he wanted to believe he did it on self-defence, because if it wasn't, Sean didn't even know what he was capable of.

Cecilia's POV

"Come on!" Andrea exclaimed, she was a couple of steps ahead of me.

It had been hours since she told me to start thinking about the people I cared to give me strength to keep on. I had thought about pretty much everyone and I admit that had helped me to give me the strength I needed and to distract me from thinking about my aching muscles or the exhaustion or the thirst but I wasn't sure how much longer I was going to keep going.

We hadn't seen more than two walkers in about an hour, which was pretty good. That gave us the opportunity to slow down and walk instead of jog or run.

"So." Andrea panted. "What's going on with you and Daryl?"

"Nothing," I said, in between deep breaths.

"Look, we have been running for about twenty hours in a row," Andrea said. "I need some kind of story to distract myself, so tell me."

"I don't know what you mean."

To be honest I didn't think talking was a good idea, every word we said required a big effort from us. Sometimes we would stop mid-sentence to catch our breath, sometimes we had to catch our breath more than once as we talked, that's how tired we were.

"People have noticed how close the two of you have gotten. You shared the room with him at the CDC, you have shared his tent since we were in that mountain, and we just noticed the two of you spent a whole of time together."

"We are just friends, I guess," I shrugged even when she couldn't see me because she was in front of me and wasn't looking at me. "He saved me, I owe him my life."

"But there's more to that, isn't it?"

"I don't think so."

"Last night, when Daryl and Glenn got to the house and he realized you weren't there, he just lost it, you know?" Andrea told me, taking a small glance at me. "He ran all over the house, yelling your name, he was going out to look for you when we saw the herd."

"What are you trying to say, Andrea?"

"I'm saying that not even your mother was so worried about you, not even she tried as hard to find you, not as Daryl."

"But we're talking about my mum here," I said with a sarcastic laugh. "We haven't talked in over a week and we weren't in good terms before that."

"But a mother is a mother, Cici." I sighed.

"Look, if you want me to tell you that Daryl and I are together, I'm sorry to disappoint you but we are not, that would be crazy but I admit that he's the one I care about the most," I told her, finally catching up with her and walking next to her. "It's like he's the only one that understands me, he's the only one that is there when I need it, you know?"

"Do you like him?"

"What? No, of course not!" I exclaimed, my blue eyes getting twice as big.

"Hmm," she said unconvinced. "But he likes you, you know?"

"Yeah, right, if he likes me then Oliver is in love with Hershel," I said sarcastically.

"Look, I've seen the way he treats you, the way he acts around you and the way he looks at you, it's obvious!" Andrea said, stopping to look me straight in my eyes. "And I think you like him too, I think the two of you like each other and everyone knows but you two!"

"That's crazy, Andrea!" I said, starting to walk again. "He would never like someone like me, never! He's a grown-up man, I don't know how old he is but he must be at least in his mid-thirties, if not forties, you know? And I'm nineteen, he probably thinks I'm an immature, crazy, bold, but needy girl, and besides, he doesn't look like the type that falls for someone."

"I think he has fallen for you, though."

"Even if that could be true, what does it matter now? Who knows if we will ever see them again," I said, trying to keep my voice down and to not cry. "Why are you so stubborn about this, anyway?"

"Because I know, I've seen the signs," she told me. "And it would be cute."

"Are you serious? Us, cute?"

"Yeah, I think..."

She stopped mid-sentence because we heard moaning coming from behind us. We both raised our guns and shot the four walkers that were coming after us.

"Come on!" Andrea said and once again we started to run.

Another very long time passed, in that time we stopped using our guns to save ammo and to keep other walkers from hearing us. We killed them with our knives instead. It was more difficult, risky and it took more of our energy but we both decided that was the best.

I couldn't believe the sun was almost gone and that we hadn't gotten out of the woods yet, not at the pace we were going. We ran for almost a whole day, we took some breaks of course but we mostly ran.

When it was almost completely dark some walkers were coming from every side, there were only about eight but we were exhausted. Andrea killed a couple with her knife before collapsing to the ground, I killed some more but I felt like the knife weighed a ton, I could barely lift it.

I heard Andrea struggling on the ground and that made me find some strength really deep inside of me, probably the last I had. I was going to kill the one that was on top of Andrea when I felt something tackling me to the ground, I was on my stomach and I was very vulnerable. I rolled over and tried to get the walker as far away from me, stopping him from getting his filthy teeth on me and at the same time I was frantically trying to spot my knife but I couldn't find it.

I was feeling how my arms started to get very heavy, even more than before and how I was losing energy, I couldn't keep fighting for long. I was about to give in when suddenly the walker stopped moving and I realized its head was cut off, blood fell on my clothes and my neck.

I looked up to see my saviour and saw the most bizarre scene in front of me.

There was a figure who was definitely human, they had a hood over their head, preventing us from seeing their face and they were holding some kind of sword. Besides them, there were two walkers, without their arms and their jaws and mouths, they were chained, the person was holding the other end of the chain, keeping them close to them.

A part of me was grateful this stranger saved my life but another part of me was shitting itself, wondering when this person was going to kill us.

Suddenly the stranger approached us slowly and knelt in front of us. They took off their hood, it was a woman with dark brown hair, brown eyes and dark skin.

"Are you two okay?" she asked us.

"Yeah," I muttered. "Thanks!"

"Did they bite or scratch you?

"No," Andrea and I assured her.

"Alright, we need to get going, these woods are infested with walkers. What are your names?"

"I'm Andrea and this is Cecilia"

"I'm Michonne," she said, then she took a bottle from her coat and gave it to me first. "Here."

I took the bottle from her and drank about one third of the water before handing it to Andrea, who drank almost the same quantity. I was so thirsty I wanted to drink the whole thing but Andrea needed it as much as me and it wasn't ours, it would be rude to drink it all.

"Thank you!"

"It's getting dark, we are close to getting out of here," she told us as she stood up and offered Andrea her hand. She pulled her up before doing the same to me.

We stayed behind the two chained walkers as we made our way through the forest, we didn't dare to ask why she had done such a thing to them and I wasn't sure if I wanted to know. She was weird and scary but for now she was our only hope and chance of getting out of these woods alive and that made me look past that and allow myself, well, actually order myself to trust her.

She saved us, she helped us, she gave us some water and she seemed like she knew what she was doing, we needed her to survive, we needed this Michonne girl to keep alive.

* * *

I love Michonne so much, she's my favourite female character and I'm glad she finally made her appearance. :D What do you guys think of her.

I'm trying to make a fanvideo of Daryl and Cecilia but I don't have inspiration or any good ideas :( It might take a while.

\- Guys can you go check my Rick/Snow + Daryl video? It barely has 30 views and I want to get to 100, that's my newest video of Rick or Daryl with an OC. I also made a Daryl/Belle, Daryl/Emily and Daryl/Beth :P so if you guys can check them all, or at least just one, it would mean a lot.

Here's the link to my newest video: /watch?v=Mp7qu6mm_i4

And the link to my account: /channel/UCMhfYUcltjdXZyLwj9ic_pQ

or you can find me by my name ( iamthemasterpiece )

Thank you all and please comment :D


	17. Chapter 17 - Tough Life

"The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination."

\- Marion Zimmer Bradley, The Fall of Atlantis

Andrea, Michonne and I spent weeks moving from one place to another, we never stayed in a place for more than two or three days for safety measures.

We were tired most of the time for all the walking and even running but we were getting used to it by now, besides Andrea and I didn't complain to Michonne about that, as we moved around the city because we kept looking for our loved ones, for our friends but so far we hadn't even found a single clue of their whereabouts and as more time passed the less I believed I was going to ever find them again.

Right now we were in the middle of fall and it was getting colder and colder, we had already gotten warm clothes but we needed warmer ones and unfortunately we had lost them recently. We came across a group of seven men and we had to flee as quickly as we could.

We had left the town and gotten back into the woods, where we were more safe from people and we were also safe from walkers because of our 'bodyguards' that Michonne kept bringing from one place to the other.

Sometimes, if we came across only a few walkers we killed them quickly and other times we just didn't bother with them but if we see a very large group of them, we just try to mend in. I get closer to our two walkers and try to act as normal as I can manage, say nothing, do no fast movements and we always get away with it but I still get super nervous about it.

I always think that the walkers will catch a scent or we will make a mistake and they'll know we are alive, that we are not one of them. My heart beats so fast I always worry that they will be able to hear it and realize they can eat me but luckily that hasn't happened yet.

Having those two walkers around all the time to mask our scent is way better than kill one and cover your body with their blood and guts, like Rick, Glenn and I did when we were in Atlanta months ago, when we thought we wouldn't leave that city alive. If only we had known back then that we only needed to get two or three of them, cut their arms and jaws off, that would have been better than what we did that day.

I shook my head to get the memories of Rick, Glenn and the rest of the group out of my head. It was hard to think about them and know that some of them might be dead by now.

A couple of hours after the sunset, Michonne decided that it was time to rest. We let our backpacks and stuff fall down on the ground as Michonne tied her two walkers on a tree nearby.

I sat on the cold, hard ground and rested my back against another three after I helped Andrea to start the fire. I brought my knees to my chest as I hugged them close to me. Here out in the open, we might be safer from other people and there were less walkers but we didn't have any kind of shelter to protect us from the cold.

Since we weren't moving anymore, my body's temperature fell and I started to shiver and soon after that my teeth started to chatter. I buried my head in my knees and tried to warm up but not even with the fire in front of me, I got to feel any less cold.

Michonne and Andrea got some cans out of one of the backpacks and warmed them up with the help of the fire, Andrea was kind enough to warm me one, I was so cold I couldn't really move.

"Cici, come to eat," Andrea told me as she and Michonne grabbed each a can.

"I'm not hungry, Andrea," I muttered even when I was in fact really hungry. But I couldn't really move from the cold.

"It will get cold if you don't eat it now," she told me. "Come, it will help."

Michonne stood up from her place and helped me up to my feet and took me closer to the fire. Michonne sat next to me, in between us. She grabbed the third can and gave it to me as she grabbed it with a piece of cloth and then she gave me a metallic spoon we got from a house weeks ago.

As soon as I ate a little bit of the warm food. I felt how the warmness of the food went down my throat and instantly I felt so much better. My teeth stopped chattering after the third bite.  
"If only we had some cab," Andrea muttered with a chuckle.  
"Girls' night," Michonne said as she looked from Andrea to me with a smile on her lips.  
"Yeah," Andrea muttered with a smile.

"If only we had a bottle of vodka or something," I muttered and Andrea just gave me a look but then burst out laughing, making the two of us laugh as well.

Truth was that the alcohol would help us to warm up a little bit more and it would make us feel better too, if only I had grabbed a bottle from the CDC. As I was thinking about that, the two walkers started making more noise and move, making the chains making a clinging noise.

"The boys are getting restless again," Andrea commented.

"They didn't like we are having a girls' night," I commented with a smile as I kept slowly eating my food. "The felt left out."  
"You still haven't told me, where did you find them?" Andrea said after a couple of minutes, making Michonne instantly stop eating. "Did they attack? Did you hunt them down? Or did you know them?"

I could only see Michonne's side of her face but I even could see how unsettled she looked. She looked even scared as she intensively stared at Andrea, saying nothing. Andrea looked shocked.

"I'm so sorry," Andrea muttered, looking down at her food, realizing Michonne did in fact know them before they turned. "Oh God."

I felt extremely awkward not knowing what to say, Michonne was clearly distressed. I even heard her sniffling as she looked away from Andrea and instead looked at the fire.  
"You want to talk about it?" Andrea dared to ask.

We had gotten relatively close towards this girl since she found us but still there was a very long way to go. We didn't know anything about Michonne, we didn't even know her last name or age, she barely talked. She still didn't know anything about me either, not about my sister, my parents, my friends or anyone else close to me but Andrea felt comfortable about sharing stuff with her, even talked her about Amy.

As expected, Michonne shook her head at Andrea as she tried hard not to cry. The image of her so broken felt almost bizarre because usually she seemed so strong and unaffected by pretty much everything but this showed that Michonne was only human, she was as susceptible as any other person, she did in fact have a heart and a big one.

"Okay," Andrea said.  
"They deserved what they got," Michonne angrily muttered. Any sign of her breaking down was gone and she was glaring at the two walkers now with such hatred anyone would be scared. "They weren't human to begin with."

Silently we continued to eat, the atmosphere was slightly awkward because of where the conversation ended up but no one tried to make it alright, or we just didn't know what to say.

When we were done, Michonne offered to be the first on watch. Andrea and I got under a warm blanket and lied down while Michonne just sat next to me and covered her legs with the blanket.

The next day we packed our things quickly and made our way to town, we couldn't spend another night like that. We would die from hypothermia.

It took us about two hours to get out of those woods and find a nice-looking house. I knocked on the door, seeing if there were walkers inside but there were none. Michonne tied the walkers to the fence and we walked in. Michonne and I headed upstairs while Andrea went to the kitchen to check if there was any food.

Unfortunately we didn't found much, the people that lived here were at least twice our size so everything was useless, except for a very warm but light-weighted blanket I found in the master bedroom.

We had to look inside four houses to finally find some clothes. In that house lived a teenage girl and she actually had good taste and was pretty much the same size I was now. I grabbed two sweatpants and a pair of jeans, two long-sleeve shirts and one very warm coat, plus a pair of gloves and a turquoise beanie, which I put on immediately.

After I finished looking for stuff in that room I went to the kitchen, Andrea wasn't there anymore, she also needed some clothes. I opened one of the drawers and found what I was looking for, knives. I grabbed all the big ones, I was going to keep two but give the rest to Michonne and Andrea, or just Andrea, Michonne only uses her sword.

I was going to sit on a couch when I heard some snarling. I looked out the window to check if the sound came from 'our' walkers or others and what I saw was horrifying. There were around two hundred walkers outside, walking down the street and those were only the one I could see from my position, there were probably more.

I ran up the stairs, trying not to make a single sound and rushed inside the master bedroom where I found Andrea putting stuff in her backpack while Michonne was sat on the bed, her bag already looked stuffed.

"Walkers," I muttered. "About two hundred."

"Hurry!" Michonne exclaimed, standing up. "We'll stay close to our walkers, we don't stand a chance against so many if we stay here."

Quickly but silently we ran down the stairs and out of the house. The closest walkers were about two houses away from us. Once outside we slowed our pace and walked to our bodyguards. I bit my lip as I step right next to one of them as Michonne untied them and we started walking.

As soon as the walkers caught up with us my blood went cold, as usual I thought this was my end. Andrea looked horrified and Michonne was nervous but we all kept our cool.

We spent about an hour in the middle of the hundreds of walkers, trying to find a way out, trying to go a different way but so far we hadn't found one. The smell was horrible and several times I was close to puking but luckily I managed to keep it in. I kept walking among them, feeling more at ease that we hadn't been caught so far when I looked a bit to my left and saw a young walker girl, she couldn't have been more than fourteen years old when she was turned.

I really wasn't sure of the colour of her eyes since now they were the greyish shade walkers have, but her hair was blonde, straight, and it barely reached her shoulders. And as I got to be closer to her, I could notice there were freckles on her face, I barely saw them though, because of all the dirt covering her.

My heart broke at the sight of her, quick images of my own sister looking like that invaded my mind, mostly because of their similarities. I felt such rage that all I wanted was to grab Michonne's katana and kill them all, including the blonde girl that reminded me so much of Sophia. I just wanted everything to be over already.

It seemed like Andrea noticed I was staring at the walker girl because I felt her hand softly grabbing mine. She gave it a squeeze and I slowly turned to look at her. She offered me a small smile but it was gone as fast as it appeared.

For me it felt eternal until we managed to turn a corner with only a small group of walkers, which we killed once we were far from the big herd, I used the knife I got from the house earlier today and remembered to give the others to Michonne and Andrea.

Among the group of walkers we killed was the blonde girl. I was about to kill her but I hesitated for just a second so Michonne stepped in between and killed the walker in less than a blink. Michonne just turned to look at me with something close to disappointment but she still didn't know that I lost my sister not long ago, she didn't even know that I had one, and that she looked an awful lot to this walker.

"Come on," Andrea muttered, putting an arm around my shoulders in a comforting way. If anyone could understand what I was going through was Andrea, she lost her younger sister as well. "We need to find a place to stay and quickly."

"Alright," I muttered as we both nodded at Andrea. "I say we should go in that direction," I said, pointing to the way we just came from. "The herd is going that way, so we shouldn't go there."

"But let's go more to the right," Michonne added. "Let's get out of here and find another neighbourhood or something, there could be more walkers coming that way."  
The next day we were on the go as well, we managed to find a small house to stay the night but unfortunately there were too many walkers roaming the streets and we decided to leave the place first thing in the morning, after we ate something to give us energy for the long day ahead of us.

We came across a medium grocery shop and it looked like we could find some food in there. Michonne broke the padlock with her sword and we opened the shutter, Michonne and I killed the two walkers that were inside, waiting for their food; by the clothes they were wearing we could tell they worked in this shop back in the day, their names were Jason and Amy. Andrea read the name tag and tears filled her eyes but just as Michonne two nights ago, she refused to talk about it.

"Let's move on," Andrea said. "There could be more of those things in here."

Michonne didn't push the subject and I already knew about it, so I just closed the shutter again and we made our way inside. For being the end of the world, the place looked really neat, there were only a few things on the floor.

"Grab a cart," Michonne said. "We should grab everything we can take with us."  
Despite Andrea's protests about separating, we went our own ways. I first went looking for bags, our backpacks were already full with some food and mostly clothes. So I walked around, trying to find something useful and big. I found a nice red big bag that I could carry around besides my backpack, I also grabbed another one like that, except this one was green, I grabbed a third one but this one was slightly different, it was bigger and had more pockets in it.

After putting them in my cart I walked around looking for water, we desperately needed it more than food. I grabbed some bottles and containers and put them in the cart too, unfortunately we couldn't carry more or I would have grabbed some more, then I found the 'beauty' isle, it was full of useless things now, like lipstick and nail polish but I still searched for things in there.

I really needed some hair ties, the last one I had broke about a week ago and my hair had been down all this time, which was annoying because it got in the way all the time and it also could be dangerous, a walker could grab it or something like that. I grabbed four packs of them and put them inside the red bag, I was going to give some to Andrea as well, I also got a few bandanas and hair clips.

I kept looking and found a nail clipper, I looked down at my long and dirty nails and decided it would be a good idea to have one, I also got one for Andrea and another for Michonne. From the next isle I grabbed two bottles of alcohol in case we cut ourselves with something, band aids and some pills, mostly for headaches. I also put those in the red bag.

I was about to look for some food when I heard things falling down to the floor, about four isles down, I hadn't heard any kind of moan but nevertheless I ran to the place, leaving the cart right there.

When I got to the place I found Michonne putting her katana on the floor, a man had Andrea in his hold and was pointing his gun at her head as he ordered Michonne to put her weapon on the floor. This man apparently also worked here, since he was wearing the same uniform as the walkers we killed minutes ago.

Unfortunately, the man spotted me before I could hide and also ordered me to put my weapon on the floor. I kept my gun hidden in the waistband of my jeans and thanks to the thick clothes I was wearing it wasn't noticeable, so I just put my knife on the floor.

"What gives you the right to come into this shop and steal my things?" the man yelled at us.

"I'm sorry, we didn't think there was someone in here," I said.

The man was probably in his early thirties, he had short blonde hair and dark brown eyes, he also had a beard and he had a lost and crazy look, it seemed like he had been locked in here since everything started, probably for three, four months. He looked pretty dirty and he was only wearing a thin shirt while we were wearing warm clothes, he didn't look like he was cold though.

"Just don't harm her, we will leave," I assured the man, trying to reason with him but his eyes just looked even crazier.

As the man ordered us to get down on our knees I couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't killed the two walkers that were in here if he had a gun, why was he so keen on killing us and not them? Were they his friends and wasn't able to kill them or what?

"Two of you can leave," the man said with a crazy chuckle. "The other will stay. I'll give you the chance to choose who stays."

"You two go!" Andrea exclaimed immediately. "Just go!"

"No!" Michonne told her. "We can't leave you!"

"I'll be alright," she told us. "I'll be alright."

"You have five seconds to stand up and leave, starting now," he told us. "One... two..."

"No!" Michonne yelled.

The man pointed his gun at us and shot, luckily we both jumped out of the way on time. Michonne hid behind a shelf and I was on the isle in front of her, hiding as well but the man still had Andrea and he could kill her at any time.

I grabbed my own gun, walked down the isle and tilted my head a bit when I reached the end so I could see the man, whose back was luckily facing me. He was walking to the right, with Andrea still in his hold but I had to act fast or he would find Michonne.

Silently I got a bit closer to the man and aimed at him, my hands were shaking but I couldn't allow myself to miss, I could kill Andrea in the process. I took a few steps forward and right when the man stopped pointing his gun at Andrea's head I shot without even thinking about it. I shot him on his right thigh, making him loose his grip on Andrea, allowing her to break free and the man fell to the ground. I aimed at his legs in case I missed and hit Andrea, what if instead of shooting him in the heart or head I ended up shooting her? I was a good shot but I was so nervous I could miss and I wasn't going to take that chance.

Andrea quickly kicked the man's gun away, ending only feet away from me. I picked it up quickly and ran to the man, who tried to stop the bleeding as he screamed out in pain, he was going to attract walkers for sure.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you," I muttered coldly as I stood right next to him with my gun aimed right at his head.

"Please," he muttered, his jeans were getting all soaked with bright red blood, making me a bit nauseated.

"Cici, don't," Andrea told me as she looked right at my eyes, I vaguely heard her as I kept my gaze on the man.

"I'm waiting," I told the man. "Tell me or I'll shoot you right here."

"Cecilia!" Andrea yelled, making me take a quick glance at her. "Don't do this, you are not an assassin, give me the gun."

"No."

The man kept screaming on the floor and bleeding out, the blood had reached my shoes so I just stepped back, leaving a bloody shoe print on the white dirty floor.

"You don't really want to do this, what would your mum think? What would Carl think? And what about So...?"

"They are not here!" I yelled at her. "So it doesn't matter what they'll think! They are gon...!"

As I yelled at Andrea, Michonne grabbed her katana and cut the man's head off, leaving us both speechless. I stared in disbelief at the now headless body, making an even bigger puddle of blood on the floor.

I don't know how long I stayed there, motionless, just looking as blood poured out of the body until Andrea wrapped her arms around me and made me look away, as she buried my head in the crook of her neck.

In the last months I had witnessed walkers killing people, eating them, I had witnessed people becoming walkers but never a person killing another that wasn't bitten or scratched and especially in such a brutal way like Michonne did.

I knew I wanted to kill that bastard for threatening us to kill us, I pointed my gun at him and I had my finger on the trigger but shooting him would be more humane, and at the moment I really wasn't sure if I would had been capable of doing it, pulling the trigger and ending his life. I would have probably left him there, which in a way would be killing him too. He would have bled out to death or his screams would have attracted walkers and they would have eventually ended his life.

"I'm sorry," Michonne muttered. "But it was either him or all of us, there are walkers outside already. We would be trapped here if he kept screaming and attracting more towards this place. It had to be done, I had to."

As she spoke I finally realized there were in fact walkers banging on the shutter, their moans were distant but I could tell there were at least five outside and if we didn't hurry up, there would be more of them.

"Is there another way out?" Andrea asked as she finally let go of me, I hadn't noticed it but I was shaking.

"There must be one," Michonne told her.

"I'll go look then," Andrea said. "You two get all the stuff we gathered."

Andrea ran in the other direction while I headed to where I had left the cart. I put some bottles in each one of the bags I found so the weight would be distributed and then Michonne's brought her own cart, which was filled with cans and bags of food, we put them inside the bags quickly and then went to find the cart Andrea was using when she was ambushed. She had found some more food, a baseball bat and about ten flashlights and some extra batteries.

"There's a patio outside," Andrea informed us as she ran back to us. "But we must go over a fence."

"How tall is it?"

"About seven feet," Andrea replied to Michonne. "There are no sign of any walkers there, though."

"Alright, let's go!" Michonne exclaimed.

Once we had everything in the bags, Michonne pushed the cart to the exit and just once we were right in front of the fence we grabbed the bags and with all our strength we threw the three heavy bags to the other side of the fence, I only hoped none of the bottles of water were going to break or anything.

I was the first to climb, I tightly grabbed the metallic railings with both my hands and put my feet on other parts of it as I quickly climbed. I had never done it before and my hands hurt but luckily I managed to get to the top. I moved one of my legs to the other side and when I was around the middle of it, I jumped to the ground. I fell on my butt but luckily there was grass so it really didn't hurt, I quickly grabbed the red bag and checked if all the bottles and the stuff inside were alright, once I did, I put the strap over my shoulder and waited for Andrea and Michonne to get to this side.

Each one of them grabbed one bag as well, Andrea complaining about how much it weighed but she carried it anyway. There were cans of food and bottle of water in all of the bags, of course they were really heavy.

"I got you something, though," I said mostly to Andrea. "It will make it up for carrying these."

Andrea just chuckled at me before asking what I got but I refused to tell them until later. As we walked we had to make several stops because our shoulders did hurt with all this weight.

"You should have gotten something with wheels," Andrea muttered.

"I know."

Just before it got dark, we broke into a fine looking house. There was a walker inside, in the bathroom, but we killed it quickly. There were bars on the windows and there was still some food in here.

When we all sat on a couch to eat dinner, I got out the hair ties and nail clippers I found earlier. I gave one to each one of them and the hair ties to Andrea, Michonne claimed she didn't need them but she accepted me a bandana and a hair clip.

As soon as we finished eating, the three of us cut our nails and once we finished we took off our shoes and socks and continued with out toenails. It might seem insignificant but Michonne and Andrea were very thankful that I got those for them, we all were in need of them.

Hey guys!

Seriously, I don't really like this chapter, I feel like it was just a filler and it was kind of rushed. Originally, this one wasn't part of the story but I decided to add it about four days ago because most of the stories usually just skip the eight months until the group finds the prison and I wanted to do something different and add at least one chapter before that happens.

QOTD: If you were in the middle of a zombie apocalypses, what would you miss the most?

I would miss playing my sport and hot water :P


	18. Chapter 18 - Old Pal

"Just as a snake sheds its skin, we must shed our past over and over again."

― Gautama Buddha

Eight long months had passed since the farm incident, the winter had come and gone and unfortunately it had affected us. We almost died from the cold, we barely could find food and a warm enough shelter, Andrea and I got really, really sick, but I got better once the winter came to an end, but Andrea was still in a critical state.

Lately Michonne and I had gone together to a town nearby to get medicine for Andrea or she goes alone and I stay to take care of Andrea. Today I was going with her.

Michonne and I went to town, into a pharmacy. As soon as the door was opened a bell rang. I cursed in my mind but kept going. Michonne and I went behind some shelves, the walkers inside followed us. Michonne kicked the first one to the ground, I jumped on it and stabbed him in the forehead, killing it. Two more came and Michonne easily decapitated them with her katana. We quickly grabbed the medicine and walked out of there, the streets were full of walkers so we had to be carefully and quick.

We had been staying in a 'Deer Cooler' place. It was spooky. There were hooks where people hanged the deer back in the day, I felt like the place was hunted and I really didn't like the place but it was the safest we had found here.

When we walked inside we noticed Andrea wasn't there, Michonne grabbed her katana and I had my knife at the ready. We quickly went to the end of the place and to our relief we saw Andrea there. She was curled up on the floor.

"What are you doing out here?"Michonne asked her.

"I needed some light," Andrea weakly muttered.

Michonne knelt next to her and carefully helped her sit up while I took the medicine from my pocket and then also knelt next to her.  
"Take this," I told her and put the pills in Andrea's mouth and then brought a bottle of water to her lips, she was too weak we had to do that for her.  
"How is it out there?" Andrea asked as Michonne took the bottle from me and ran it on Andrea's forehead to cool her down.

"Same," I said.  
"It's quiet," Michonne added.  
"You're lying," Andrea muttered.

"We should go in a few days," Michonne told her, refusing to elaborate or say how things had worsened.  
"You two should go."  
"No," I exclaimed quickly. "I can't leave you, we won't leave you."  
"I'll hold you back. Just go! I can take care of myself. I saved both your ass all winter, didn't I?" Andrea said with a very small smile but then it was gone as she coughed really loudly, Michonne tried to give her some water but Andrea just pushed it away angrily. "I won't have you dying for me. Good soldier won't leave your post."  
"We'll go in a few days," Michonne exclaimed in a final yet soft tone.  
"If we stay... I'll die here."

"No one is going to die, do you understand?" I told her, looking her right in the eye. She didn't nod or say anything she just looked away.

"Just go."

Michonne and I got everything packed, we were leaving but not without Andrea. We put some bags on the walkers which were like our bodyguards. After eight months I had completely gotten used to having them around, they didn't freak me out anymore or annoy me, well, at least most of the time, sometimes their moans just drove you crazy, though.

I realized that now that they didn't have their arms or their mouth anymore they didn't try to attack or eat us, like if they had gotten docile or something. What amazed me though, is that they probably hadn't eaten since the start of all of this, about nine or ten months ago and they were still alive, kind of. Don't they die from starvation? They looked thinner than when Michonne saved Andrea and me in the woods all those months ago, though.

When Michonne and I had everything ready, I got Andrea while Michonne opened a shutter. I had an arm around Andrea to help her walk. She didn't let me die or abandon me in the woods so I wasn't really going to abandon her now either.

None of us had a clue of where we were going, we just knew we had to get away from that place. We were seeing more and more walkers around the place we had settled in for the last few weeks and we didn't want to get corned, we needed to be on the move.  
During that first night out in the open I started to remember that horrible night when the farm got overrun.

I still remember how much Andrea and I ran until we could barely move. After Michonne saved us she told us to not make spontaneous and fast movement, she assured us we weren't going to get attacked, all we needed to do was stay close to her. I had my doubts and always had my knife in my hand just in case but as we walked next to a group of ten walkers, I realized they didn't even pay attention to us. Once we were out of the woods Michonne told us that her chained walkers kept other walkers from being able to smell her. She just needed to walk at a normal pace and not talk and she was off their radar, she was a really clever woman I would had never thought of using walkers to keep other walkers away.

All those months ago after we finally got out of the woods we found a small cottage close to the woods and we stayed there for a week. Andrea and I were really dehydrated, my throat was hurting because of wearing a wet shirt for more than two days because of the sweat but that was all I had plus I had other priorities, like running for my life.

Michonne found some food for us, some water, we drank a lot of it, and in that cottage we found new, dry, and not smelly clothes we could use. They weren't my style, they were actually clothes for men but I had no choice but wear that.

My body ached for two whole weeks, I could barely go up the stairs, I could barely move, even go to the bathroom was painful. Every muscle in my body just ached from all the miles I ran. But Andrea and I recovered and after that week we got on the move once again, we decided to join Michonne and I'm glad we did, she's a great person and she helped us, we would have died if it wasn't for her.

Andrea and I had our eyes opened for any member of our group but after about four or five weeks we were starting to lose hope to ever see them again. I hold nothing against them, I understand all of them needed to leave to survive, I get it and I'm glad they got out alive, I just wish I could see them again someday.

I knew Shane died, Jimmy died, Patricia died, and who knows who else died but I knew Rick, Carl and Hershel got out of there, I saw them leave.

But who knows if after all these months they are still alive or not, anything could have happened and if I ever get to see them again would be a miracle.

"Hey, what's on your mind?" Andrea asked, I still had my arm around her, helping her to walk.

"Just memories," I said with a small smile. "I was remembering... them, you know?"

"We might bump into them one day," Andrea told me.

"Maybe," I said even when I really didn't believe it.

"You'll see your mum again, you'll see!"

I said nothing after that, I just sadly smiled at Andrea. I really hated that we weren't on the best of terms when I last saw her and I wish I could have done something differently, maybe demand her to stop blaming me and telling her I needed her instead of pushing her even farther away.

"Andrea, I'm glad you're with me," I said. "I know we have been through hell and worse but I'm grateful we are together."  
"Me too," she said to me with a smile. "We never were that close before but I couldn't imagine being left behind with someone better than you as a partner."

The next day we were walking on a road when we heard a loud crash quite away from us, about an hour later we saw black smoke coming from the woods, not that far from us.

"We have to go," Andrea told us.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Michonne said.

"What if someone needs our help?"

"That crash made a lot of noise, Andrea, walkers follow noises, what if a big herd comes and ambushes us?" I exclaimed, trying to get her to change her mind.

"Someone could be alive!"

"If there's no one we leave the place as soon as we can," Michonne told her, giving in. She had been softer since we got sick.

We started heading to where the smoke was coming from, into the woods. I crossed my arms in front of my chest; I wasn't happy with this. Andrea couldn't run, she was too weak, if something happened we would have to fight.

"Don't be so upset," Michonne whispered to me."We won't find anyone and we'll hurry out of there, I promise."

"I'm just scared for her, she can barely walk." Michonne just shrugged at me.

As we got closer to the place we saw that the thing that crashed was a helicopter, which was really weird. I hadn't seen or heard a single helicopter in almost a year. Suddenly Andrea collapsed to the floor and threw up. I just took a really deep sigh as I saw her so helplessly.

"Don't push yourself," Michonne told her. "You'd better sit."

Once she was done throwing up, Michonne and I helped her up and took her behind a bush, then Michonne chained the walkers to a tree close to Andrea with the help of a padlock.

"We'll check it out," Michonne said to Andrea as she handed her a gun.

"Stay here," I told her and rubbed her back before walking to the crashed helicopter.  
Cautiously we approached the scene, the first thing I saw almost made me puke. There was a dead man lying on the floor, his upper body was separated from his legs, blood and guts were all over the place.

Living in such a hostile world makes you a bit numb and you get used to see dead whenever you go, literally, but there were still pretty bad things to see that still shock you, like this man.

I had witnessed so many deaths and seen so many dead people in the last months. Amy, Jim, Dale, Patricia, Shane, Jacqui, Sophia. The worst of them was probably Dale, you could see his organs, it was disgusting and hard to watch, almost as hard to see this dead man now, but I recovered quickly and kept looking around.

While Michonne was looking inside the helicopter, I walked around it. There could be walkers around but I didn't expect to see what I saw. Cars.

"We are not alone," I said to Michonne.

Quickly but silently we ran back to Andrea, getting on each side of her behind the bush. We could risk being seen and try to leave but with Andrea like this we wouldn't get so far so the smartest option was to hide.

"Someone's coming," I muttered.

"Any survivors?" she asked.

"Two dead, not sure about the other," Michonne informed her.  
The cars got closer and parked right next to the helicopter. There were about six men and all of them had big weapons.

A walker made its way to them and one of the men, that seemed to be the leader, ordered them to save 'those rounds', so one man got his bow ready and shot an arrow at it. I felt a pang on my heart, I felt like that arrow went through my heart instead of the walker's head, that reminded me so much of Daryl.

The man was really skilled, it was scary how accurate he was with that bow, shot it right in the middle of its forehead. More walkers approached them and the other men killed them with bats.

Andrea started to cough, she tried so hard to make it stop so we wouldn't be heard and caught. Michonne rubbed her back to soothe her.  
"Got a breather!" one of them yelled.  
As I was seeing how these men were trying to get the survivor out of the helicopter, Michonne was watching behind us way too intensively. I glanced back and saw a walker coming from there, my eyes got wide in fear. If we killed it we could get caught and if we didn't, it could try to get bite from us.  
"No," Andrea said to Michonne as she was getting her katana ready.

Michonne stayed immobile, just like Andrea and me but at the first sight of being attacked we would react but that didn't happen, the walker just walked past us, paying no attention to us. I suppose spending so much time with the dead, makes you smell like them.

That walker was killed by the bowman, who shot it right in the eye. He was quite far from it and still got a perfect shot.

"He's saving them," Andrea whispered. "We should show ourselves."  
"Not yet," Michonne said quickly. I agreed with her, we couldn't trust anyone anymore. This world was about the surviving of the fittest, nobody helps you without getting something in exchange.  
Suddenly our walkers got very uneasy. They started moving, the chains were making noise and they were snarling a lot and quite loudly. I cursed in my head as I saw a man pointing his gun in our direction and the other men had also heard them.

Suddenly, Michonne stood up with her katana out and without hesitation she cut their heads off. The bodies and heads fell to the ground and the noise stopped. Slowly, Michonne crawled back to us.

It seemed like an eternity until one of them shouted "Let's roll out,", and stopped looking in our direction. I sighed in relief. But my relief didn't last for more than a few seconds. I saw Michonne's face and I knew she had noticed something, she had her katana ready to strike.  
"Uh-uh-uh," I heard a voice behind me saying as Michonne attempted to raise her katana but we were busted. "Easy does it, girl. Mine is a lot whole bigger than yours."

I felt how my breath got caught in my throat, what if they were going to kill us? What if they were going to torture us first and then kill us? I was thinking all kind of terrible scenarios when the man talked again and something clicked, I think I recognized that voice but I didn't dare to move, he could shoot me.  
"Now put down your weapons. That's it, nice and easy," the man said as Michonne slowly lowered her katana, she looked defeated. "And you two let me see your hands." Andrea and I slowly raised our hands. "Now spin around. That's it. Nice little twirl around."

As slow as I could manage I turned to my right while Andrea was turning to her left, our eyes met for a couple of seconds before we faced the man, who had a gun pointing at me. I gasped when I saw his face.  
"Oh, holy shit," he exclaimed. "The blondies! Damn, you're looking good," he said sarcastically to Andrea, as he finished talking, a walker was almost on top of him, with a quick swing of his right arm he killed the walker with a knife.

But it was weird, he had some kind of medical artefact on his arm and the knife was taped to it; his right hand was missing. He was kneeling down when all that happened. He stood up slowly and he never stopped pointing the gun at me, which he held with his left hand.  
"Now, how's about a big hug for your old pal Merle?" Merle exclaimed with a smile on his face and he raised his eyebrows at us as he said his name. I admit I had a better co-existence with Merle back in camp than anyone else, except Daryl of course, but I would never call him a friend or an ally.

I just stared at him in shock, I still couldn't believe he was alive, that he got out of Atlanta and that he was right in front of me now. But my thoughts were interrupted by Andrea, who passed out right next to me.

"Andrea!" I exclaimed and crawled to her side, shaking her but she didn't open her eyes.

Moments later two other men came, one tied Michonne's hand and put a fold over her eyes and guided her to a car, another did the same to the unconscious form of Andrea, he carried her to one of the cars and Merle did it to me.

"Sorry, sweetheart," he said to me as he tied my hands. "But it has to be done."

I really wasn't sure if Andrea or Michonne were in the car with me, all I knew was that Merle was. He was telling some story about his old life as another man drove. Merle also kept repeating how he couldn't believe we had run into each other again.

About half an hour later we were taken to a room, once they untied us and took the folds off, we realized we were in some kind of infirmary, there were two men by the door so we couldn't leave. The nurse checked Andrea first, who was the worst, she injected Andrea something and took her temperature, while we just sat close to her.

"Why are we being held here?" Andrea asked the nurse. "We wanna leave."  
"You are not well enough," the woman told Andrea. "And it's dark. You should stay the night."  
"Where are we?"

"That's not for me to say," the nurse said to Andrea as we heard footsteps going in our direction. "He'll talk to you."  
"Who?" Michonne asked.

At that moment Merle walked in. He looked from me, to Andrea, to the nurse. He looked quite intimidating to be honest.

"Go check on your patient, Doc," he said-ordered the woman, referring to the man that survived the helicopter crash.

Merle walked deeper into the room, never taking his eyes off of us. The woman said nothing, she just left her things on the table and left the room without saying a single world.  
"Bet you was wondering if I was real," he told us, he grabbed a chair and carried it to the middle of the room. "Probably hoping I wasn't. Well, here I am." He chuckled. "I guess this old world gets a little smaller toward the end, huh? Ain't so many of us left to share the air, right?" He finally sat on it, resting his arms on the back of the chair. "You know, when they found me, I was near bled out. Starving, thinking to myself a bullet might make a good last meal. Take myself a nice long nap after. Wait for Daryl on the other side. You seen my brother?"

Andrea looked from Merle to me, silently telling me to be the one to answer. "Not in a very long time."  
"Makes three of us."  
"He went back for you," I informed him. "Him and Rick, even I was going to go. You were already gone."  
"Well," he said chuckling. "Not all of me."

He then removed that medical thing from his arm and showed us his amputated arm. It looked quite nasty, who knows what kind of desperation he felt to be able to cut his own hand. Andrea just looked away from him while I looked sadly at him, he just laughed.  
"Yeah, Rick. He's that prick that cuffed me to the rooftop," he said as he put the medical thing back on, covering the end of his arm.  
"He tried. Daryl saw that," Andrea told him.  
"He's always been the sweet one, my baby brother."  
"He wanted to keep looking, and things happened, people died," Andrea informed him. "A lot of them. Jim, Dale, Jacqui... Sophia..."

"Amy," I said quietly.  
"Your sisters?" he asked. "You both lost your little sisters?"

"Yes," we said at the same time.  
"They were good kids," he said. "I'm sorry to hear it."

"Ed died as well," I told him.

"Your father, huh? What can I say? He was a son of a bitch that probably deserved what he got," he told me, his voice was a little louder and it sounded angry. I could tell he remembered the time my father slapped me in front of him and Merle saved me from getting beaten.  
"We had to leave Atlanta," Andrea said, not wanting to talk about Amy anymore and she knew I didn't want to talk about Sophia or my father either. "We wound up on a farm and Daryl stepped up. He became a valued member of the group."  
"Now he's dead," Merle muttered. "That's something the three of us have in common, we all lost our little siblings."  
"We don't know that for sure," I said quickly, too quickly. Merle just looked at me with an eyebrow raised but I spoke before he said anything. "We got run off by a herd."  
"How long ago?"

"About eight months," I told him. "We were separated from the rest of them. Got left behind," I whispered the last part, looking sadly at the ground. "I know what it feels like," I told him, referring to the time Merle got left on the rooftop.  
"I doubt that."  
"What do you want from us?" Andrea asked.

"Damn," he exclaimed, standing up. "There she sits, four walls around her, roof over her head, medicine in her veins, and she wants to know what I want from her. I plucked you two and your mute here out of the dirt, Blondies! Saved your asses. How about a thank you?"

"You had a gun on us," Michone told him, her tone was everything but welcome.  
"Ooh, she speaks!" he exclaimed with a chuckle. "Who ain't had a gun on 'em in the past year, huh?Show of hands, y'all. Anybody? Hmm? Shumpert, Crowley. Y'all had a gun on y'all? Hell I think I'd piss my pants if some stranger come walking up with his mitts in his pockets. That'd be the son of a bitch you'd really want to be scared of..."  
"Thank you," Andrea said before he could continue.  
Merle nodded slowly at her. Michonne was throwing daggers at him with her dark eyes. Merle said nothing else, he just walked towards the door. A man wearing a black shirt walked in and whispered something to Merle, who nodded.  
"How you feeling?" he asked us but mostly to Andrea.

"We want our weapons!" Michonne exclaimed quickly.  
"Sure, on your way out the front gates."  
"Show us the way," Andrea told him. "You've kept us locked up in this room."  
"You see any bars on the windows? You're being cared for," the man said like if he was actually taking care of us but I didn't like the situation, not one bit.  
"Under guard," Andrea told him.  
"To protect our people. We don't know you," the man said.

"We know enough about you to want out of this place," Andrea told him. "We watched you drive a knife into the skulls of two dead men. What the hell was that all about?"

"They turned," he simply stated.  
"They weren't bitten," Michonne said, speaking my thoughts.  
"Doesn't matter. However we die, we all turn. I put them out of their misery," he told us, I felt my lips part a bit in shock as I looked in disbelief at the man. "It's not easy news to swallow at first, but there it is. You're not prisoners here, you're guests. But if you wanna leave..."

I didn't hear much after that. We turn no matter what. Could that be true? So if you die from hunger or a disease or a shotgun, you just turn. I felt my stomach turning inside of me and I felt sick. I closed my eyes tightly and then it clicked.

What happened all those months ago, our last moments in the farm, when Carl and I saw Shane as a walker and Rick wouldn't say if he was bit, it was because he wasn't. Rick killed Shane and he turned, it all made sense now.  
Then the man with the black shirt walked out of the room, I didn't even listen to what he had said but based on Michonne's expression, it couldn't be that good.

We all followed the man out of the room we were in, Merle and the two guards were close to us. The man opened a door and we saw streets lightened by torches. It was a town but it was so quiet and lonely. There weren't walkers here but it was just as scary.  
"Welcome to Woodbury!" he said. "Come with me."  
As we walked through the quiet streets, we reached the end of it. The people here had built some kind of a wooden scaffold, surrounded by big tyres. There were men walking on there, all of them had rifles and big weapons. Next to the scaffold there was a gate, which was locked. Merle ran up the scaffold and ordered some of the men to go.  
"Are you military?" Andrea asked.

"Hardly," the man with the black shirt said. "Couple of vets, but by and large we're self-trained."  
"That's heavy artillery they're packing," Andrea commented.  
"Some men arrive with guns, but most of the weapons are scavenged over time.  
"And the other side of town? The rest of the streets? They're all guarded like this?" Andrea asked, the man said nothing so she took it as a yes. "It can't be."  
"It can and it is," he told her.  
"Got us a creeper, Governor," Merle exclaimed from up the scaffold. He took the rifle from one of the men there.  
"Governor? They call you that?" Andrea asked.

"Some nicknames stick whether you want them to or not."  
"Buzz is a nickname. Governor is a title. There's a difference," Andrea said as we got closer to the gate to be able to see the other side of it.  
Merle shouted it right in the head and the walker fell to the ground. But there were two more coming towards here. "He brought his buddies," Merle said before shooting them too. "Clear."  
"We'll get them in the morning," the Governor said, making us look at him. "Can't leave them to rot. Creates an odour. Makes people uneasy."  
"What people?" Andrea asked, I wanted to know too but for some reason I hadn't said a single word to this man and I wasn't planning to do it, I couldn't trust him. "There's nobody here. It's a ghost town."  
"This way," he said simply, we had no choice but to go after him.

Andrea was going a little ahead of us while I walked right next to Michonne. We were so close that our hands rubbed against each other, like if we got any farther from each other we would be exposed to these people. We were looking all around us, this really seemed like a ghost town and it made me get goosebumps all over my body. I got a bad feeling from this place, from this Governor, from all of this.

The Governor walked into a building then, we followed him inside. Everything was so quiet. He walked through a hall and opened the door of a room.

"You'll be more comfortable here, not the Four Seasons, but there's a hot shower," he said as he turned on the light and we walked inside. "Water's limited, so keep it short. We've got food, water, fresh clothes. Hope this works."

There was one queen-size bed and another small bed on one corner, there was also a couch and table with food and water. Someone had even left clean clothes on the bed for us, what caught my attention the most was the light and the little shower in one corner. I hadn't shower with hot water since the CDC and I hadn't taken a shower in between eight and ten days.  
"I know you'd feel better with your sword, more secure, but you're safe here," the Governor said to Michonne, who didn't say a word, she only glared at the man.  
"We appreciate it," Andrea said quickly. "What about the pilot? Will he make it?"

"Well, Dr. Stevens is doing all she can. Now, I know you got a lot more questions, but I got work to do. My man will be outside the door if you need anything else." Right, to watch our every move. "I'll see you tomorrow." And with that he left, leaving the door opened, which Michonne closed quickly.

"I'll shower first!" I said quickly, already taking off my shirt. I smelled really bad.

"Fine," Andrea said, rolling her eyes.

Andrea and Michonne both turned around as I removed every piece of clothing and stepped inside the tiny shower.

"This is heaven!" I exclaimed as I felt the hot water touching my dirty skin, both turned around then.

"Don't waste it!" Michonne told me.

"Whatever, mum," I muttered and rolled my eyes but then a feeling of sadness overwhelmed me as I remembered my real mother. I bit my lip as I looked down at the floor.

Was she still alive? Was she still with Rick and the others? Did she still think of me? Or had she gotten over me completely?

I shook my head trying to keep those thoughts away. Instead I concentrated on the hot water. Like Michonne said, I didn't waste it. As soon as I was done, I stopped the water and asked Michonne for a towel, she threw it at me. I wrapped it around my body quickly and stepped out.

I grabbed a blue shirt and a pair of sweatpants to sleep in, I was going to sit on the big bed when Andrea stopped me.

"Uh-uh, the big girls will sleep here," she told me, I just made a face. "The bright side is that you'll have a bed for yourself!"

As soon as I headed to the bed, I felt like my legs weighed a ton and felt really sleepy. I hadn't realized how tired I really was. I got under the covers and instantly fell asleep.

QOTD: Do you like Merle? What do you think of him?

So, I built the prison in the Sims 2, I created pretty much everyone, (even Cecilia) lol, and in my game Daryl has a crush on her but she doesn't have one on him :P, awww, everyone is still alive but I'll start killing them, starting with Cecilia's father, Ed.


	19. Chapter 19 - Woodbury

"Emotions can certainly be misleading:

they can fool you into believing stuff that is definitely, demonstrably untrue."

– Francis Spufford

The next day a lady went to our room and knocked. She said she was going to give us a tour of the town, I was still in bed when she came. I grunted when Andrea shook me and made me get up even when I begged for 'five more minutes', which I didn't get.

"I'm up!" I muttered. I didn't change the shirt but I put some jeans on.

Before walking out I grabbed a banana, I was very hungry. Since this kind of apocalypses started I had learnt to eat very, very slowly, tasting every bite.

Andrea walked next to the woman while Michonne and I walked behind them, she chuckled when I finally caught up with them.

"What? I asked.

She said nothing, she just ran her hands through my light golden blonde hair. My hair normally was barely wavy, it wasn't straight either, though. But since I slept with my hair wet the night before my hair had gotten really, really curly and it was all over the place.

It had been months since I had cared about the way I looked. Sometimes I go days without showering, or brushing my teeth, or applying deodorant. All those things are history. I'm lucky if I get to change my clothes every day now, and speaking of them, I've found almost all my clothes in houses, only some of them are from stores, and I really don't have time to choose and try them on, we just grab the first thing we see. I have even worn men clothes, especially during winter. The fashion is also history now.

Michonne kept trying to tame my curls as we got into the main street, which was full of people. Wait... what? So there are actually people here. It was so bizarre, though. It seemed like if they came out of nowhere, last night everything was so quiet.

"You three were out there for a long time," she told us. "While you were, the Governor was doing this."  
"How many people do you have here?" Andrea asked as a pregnant blonde woman passed by and waved like if life kept being like it was before, I just stared at her in disbelief, everyone here looked so... cheerful.

"Eileen's about to pop, so her kid will make it seventy-four," the black-haired woman told us. "It's still a work in progress, but Rome wasn't built in a day."  
"That's a bold comparison," I muttered.  
"I think we've earned it. Walls haven't been breached in well over a month. We haven't suffered a casualty on the inside since early winter."  
"How's that possible?" Andrea asked.

"Our Governor set a strict curfew. Nobody out after dark. Noise and light are kept to the bare minimum and armed guards on the fence and patrolling the perimeter to keep the biters away."  
"I saw what your patrols do on the way in last night," Andrea commented. "They had a dead one strung up like an ornament." Hmm, I didn't see that.  
"I won't make excuses, those men put their lives at risk every day to protect this town. They've lost more than a few friends out there. Everybody copes in their own way," she said as her tone got serious. "But I'll raise it with the Governor," she said before walking away.

We were walking around the town that even had dogs and a pregnant woman when Merle caught up with us and told us we were cordially invited to have breakfast with the Governor. I said nothing, I just followed Merle and as we were on our way, I turned to look at Michonne and she didn't look happy either. She met my eyes and silently we agreed this was too good to be true, we needed to leave.

We got to the Governor's house and were led to the dining room, there was another man already there. We sat down, I was feeling really uncomfortable here, especially with the looks of that other man. He looked at us like if we were new toys on Christmas day and I had the _luck_ to be right next to him.

"Eight months?" the Governor asked as he served us some scrambled eggs. "Hard to believe you ladies lasted so long out there."  
"Because we're women?" Andrea asked indignantly.

"Because you were alone," the Governor corrected.  
"We had each other," Andrea told him.  
"Three against the world. It's long odds."  
"We managed."  
"We're very impressed," the man next to me said.  
"Survival in the wild is tough sledding," the Governor exclaimed. "Wake up every morning on the ground wondering if today is the day. Will it be quick and final or slow and, well, without end? If someone had the good sense to kill my brain or will I come back as one of them?" He sat as he finished his speech, I just looked down at my eggs. That kind of ridiculous words would normally have made me feel like puking but today I was so hungry not even his stupid speech took my appetite away.

"Do you think they remember anything? The person they once were?" the man asked.

"I don't think about it," Andrea exclaimed, getting really uncomfortable.

Both, she and I knew they weren't the people they once were. We saw the animation of what happens to our brains once we are bitten back at the CDC. You die and the virus takes over the brain, the person is long gone by then.  
"Milton believes there might be a trace of the person they were still trapped inside," the Governor told us.

"Like an echo," Milton added. "Surely it must have crossed your mind."  
I just kept looking at my eggs who seemed really delicious. I didn't want to eat in front of these men but hunger was taking over. How long would I be able to resist it? Apparently not for much, Michonne was way so much stronger than me in that sense, she wasn't even looking at her plate and didn't seem tempted to eat.

"At one time, yeah," Andrea said to Milton. "Right before it tried to bite me."  
"And then you killed it?"

"We don't like talking about it!" I snap, speaking for the first time ever in front of the Governor, who looked surprised I finally spoke. But I couldn't take it anymore, this conversation was bringing bad memories of Sophia and I was sure Andrea was thinking about Amy.

"I apologize," he said but he seemed like he had more question for us. He couldn't resist the urge to keep asking us, this time he focused on Michonne. "The two you had in chains, who were they? The way you controlled them, used them to your benefit. You did know them, didn't you?"

We all looked really uncomfortable by this talk but now Michonne's whole body tensed. We didn't know if those walkers Michonne had were relatives, or friends, or neighbours or whatever, we asked her once but never again, we didn't get a verbal reply from her that time but by her expression we could only assume she did know them and quite well, even her expression now told us she did in fact knew them.

"Let them eat," the Governor told Milton.  
"My apologies."

So what you have here, you expect it to hold? What if a herd comes through?" Andrea asked, breaking the awkward silence.

"It'll hold."  
"What's your secret?" Andrea asked.

"Really big walls," the Governor told her.  
"That soldier had walls too and we all know how that turned out," Andrea said, referring to the survivor of the helicopter crash.  
"The real secret is what goes on within these walls. It's about getting back to who we were, who we really are. They're just waiting to be saved and people here have homes, medical care, kids go to school, adults have jobs to do," he said. "There's a sense of purpose. We're a community."  
"With a lot of guns and ammunition," Milton added.  
"And really big walls," Andrea said, with a smile.  
"And men willing to risk everything to defend them. Compromise our safety, destroy our community, I'll die before I'll let that happen," he told us.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him but none of them noticed, only Michonne. I looked down at the eggs again and that's when I couldn't take it anymore, I grabbed the fork and put some in my mouth, I had never loved eggs as much as now. I hadn't eaten something warm and just made in months.  
"Looks like you're sitting pretty at the end of the world," Andrea told him.  
"Do I strike you as the kind of man that sits pretty? You reap what you sow, we're the seed," the Governor said. "Now winter has passed, it's time to harvest."  
"Time to hope?" Andrea asked.

"We're going out there and we're taking back what's ours," he said. "Civilization. We will rise again. Only this time we won't be eating each other."  
"To civilization, then," Andrea exclaimed, raising her cup of tea, then there was a knock on the door. It was Bowman, from the woods, I still hadn't learnt his name. He whispered something to the Governor and then the latter turned to us.  
"Sorry to cut breakfast short, but this can't wait," he told us.  
"We want our weapons," Michonne exclaimed, standing up.  
"Well, we can make these meals to go and your weapons will be waiting outside but you should take time to relax. Get your strength back," he said. Not again, why couldn't we just leave? "Have a look around. Who knows? You might like what you see."

Without another word, the three of us walked out, to the street. Andrea seemed alright, Michonne was beyond pissed and I was very frustrated.

"I don't trust him," Michonne admitted.  
"Why not?" Andrea asked. "Have you ever trusted anybody?"

"Yeah," she muttered.

I looked around the place and noticed Bowman looking at us. Maybe Andrea couldn't see but people here were watching our every move. This was bad, I just knew it.

"To be honest I'm with Michonne on this," I told Andrea and for once Michonne looked satisfied.  
"Oh come on! Let's give this a day or two, that's all I'm asking," she told us. "Some time to get our shit together."  
"My shit never stopped being together," Michonne exclaimed.  
"Didn't look that way when Milton asked about your walkers," Andrea commented.  
"I'm surprised he didn't get a fork in his eye," I added with a small chuckle, Michonne just gave me a look. "What? I was talking about me! He was so annoying."  
"It was none of his damn business," Michonne told us.  
"I guess it's none of mine, either," Andrea said and I just knew where this was going. "Eight months together, all we've been through, I still feel like I hardly know you." Michonne said nothing. "I'm sorry, it's the truth. You know everything about me, about us and I..."

"You know enough," Michonne interrupted her.  
"Those walkers were with us all winter long, protecting us, and you took them out without any hesitation and that had..."

"It was easier than you think," Andrea said, her voice breaking a bit.

"Andrea, I think we should stop talking about this," I said.  
After that Andrea walked in one direction and Michonne walked in the opposite one. I just stayed there, wondering if I should go after Andrea or Michonne or leave the two of them alone and explore by myself.

I decided to go on my own, maybe that way Mr. Bowman wouldn't be sure who to follow. I looked at him and held his gaze, letting him know I wasn't intimidated by him.

I turned around and walked away. It was so weird to be around so many people. Back at the farm we were nineteen before Dale died. And all this time it had only been the three of us and those two walkers, no one else.

I awkwardly walked around the streets with my arms crossed in front of my chest. The people here looked so neat, and well, like cared of. Their hair looked good, their clothes were in good shape, they seemed clean and most of all they looked happy and like if they had been enjoying life, like if nothing bad was happening.

While I still had my curls all over the place, my shirt was clean but my jeans and tennis shoes weren't. I was clean now but I still felt dirty, especially compared to them, who seemed like they had been showering and brushing their teeth every day for the last months.

Surprisingly enough it didn't take long for a person to approach me and greet me, I turned to look at the person. It was a young man, he probably was twenty-five. He had red, short hair and striking grey eyes.

"Hi, are you new?" he asked me.

"Yeah, came here last night," I told him.

"Well, welcome to Woodbury!"

"Thanks but I'm not staying." His smile dropped.

"Why not?"

"It sounds crazy but I need to find my mother." That was mostly a lie, I knew it was next to impossible to find her if she was still alive but I just couldn't tell him I didn't trust this Governor guy. "We got separated a while ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I lost my mother when it all started but I still have my brother, sister and my dad," he said and he smiled again. "How rude of me! My name is Chris."

"I'm Cici," I said, shaking his big hand.

"Cici?" he asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Short for Cecilia," I explained.

"Oh okay, cool!" He smiled again. "I could show you around if you want, could introduce you to my family. I think my sister is the same age as you, how old are you anyway?"

"I suppose I'm twenty now," I said with a shrug. "How old are you?"

"I'm twenty-five, my sister is eighteen so you might get along with her," Chris told me. "My brother is twenty-two, you might like him as well."

"Yeah, I might."

"Uh so, you want to walk around? I can introduce you to people and show you around."

"Sure, why not?"

Chris and I walked all around town, he introduced me to about twenty people in here. Including his brother, who looked exactly like him but younger and less muscular. I guess it was nice to walk around without fearing to be eaten alive but I felt so insecure and empty without my guns and my knife.

As we were walking back into the main street of the town, I saw two cars coming in and everyone gathered around, so I joined them, I was curious. And Andrea was also in the crowd, I could see Michonne as well, except she was sat on a chair a bit away from everyone.

Merle got out of one of the cars and went straight to the Governor and Milton, they exchanged a few words before the Governor got on top of one Jeep.

"We brought in four new people yesterday. One was a helicopter pilot with a National Guard outfit. Even though he's clinging to life, he told us about his convoy on the highway, his men. I promised I'd bring them back here alive. But they didn't have our walls or our fences, biters got there before we did."

All the people here looked really sad about it. I turned to look at Michonne and I could tell she was not buying anything of his bullshit and I wasn't either.

"Now, the men had trucks, the trucks had weapons, food, medicines, things we need. Now, we didn't know them, but we'll honour their sacrifice by not taking what we have here for granted. It won't be long before dark, so go on home, be thankful for what you have. Watch out for each other."  
"Hard world out there," Chris said to me. "How did you survive?"

"Weapons and a lot of luck," I told him. "Have you ever killed one?"

"No, and I hope I never have to, I guess you have had, am I right?"

"I lost count a long time ago," I said.

"Must have been hard," he commented.

"You have no idea how bad is out there, this may sound harsh, Chris but I have to tell you that these walls won't last forever. You think somewhere is safe only to be reminded that nowhere is safe. I'm just saying you should learn to defend yourself, keep your siblings safe," I told him as I looked right in his eyes.

"You really don't think we are safe here?"

""Maybe for now but you have no idea how bad is out there and every day it just gets worse."

With that I walked away from him and joined Michonne, she was looking at the trees that were beyond the gate. I sat next to her and looked at the trees as well.

"I want to leave," she said not bothering to look at me.

"I know, me too."

"Hmm, really?" she said sarcastically. "Thought you just had gotten yourself a boyfriend."

"Ha, like if I would get a boyfriend looking like this," I said pointing at my curls. "I must look like a homeless girl."

"Uh, Cici, we are homeless," she pointed out, I took a deep breath, knowing she was right. "But I think it was your curls that made him fall into your trap."

"I guess we are," I said sadly. "And what trap?"

"Come on! That boy was practically drooling over you!"

"He was just being nice."

Michonne just gave me a look, I sighed. The world was too complicated to worry about relationships. The one time I was close to liking someone after the apocalypses started, a massive herd ambushed us, separating me from the rest.

"You can't have relationships anymore, Michonne," I told her simply.

"That woman over there," she pointed to the pregnant woman who was walking hand in hand with a brunet guy. "Wants to disagree."

"She's just being naïve and maybe stupid as well. I'm not interested in boyfriends Michonne," I told her, looking her straight in the eye. "Especially a boyfriend that can't take care of himself."

"What do you mean?"

"He has never killed a single walker, as soon as he takes a step out of this place he's going to die. Besides," I said, turning to look at her. "I'm not into redheads."

I chuckled and I somehow got a smile from Michonne. I didn't have anything against redheads, they just weren't my type.

"What are you into, then?"

"I don't even know anymore," I said shrugging. "My last boyfriend had blonde hair and green eyes, but the one before him was a brunet with blue eyes, so I don't really know. I guess right now my type is someone who can stay alive."

"You don't have many options then," Michonne said, looking at the clouds above us now. "Why did you break up with your last boyfriend? Or did he turn or...?"

"We just broke up," I muttered, regretting that I allowed the conversation to head this way.

"What happened?"

"Nothing, just normal stuff between couples. Why you ask?"

"Because I think he's the reason you don't believe in love anymore. I saw how your expression changed when you mentioned him. I can tell he hurt you."

"It doesn't matter anymore," I told her. "He must be dead now and I haven't seen him in about two years. I have gotten over him."

"Alright," she muttered.

I looked up at the clouds as well, avoiding Michonne's glance. My ex-boyfriend, Peter, was a sensitive topic and I didn't like to talk about him.

"I knew them," she told me then, I turned to look at her with a confused expression. "The walkers, I knew them."

"I, uh, I..."

"I won't tell you more but I guess you deserved to know that," she told me, looking me into my eyes. "And I also know that you will tell me about this guy when you are ready and when I'm ready I'll tell you more."

"Sounds like a deal," I said with a faint smile.

It was getting dark so we had to get back to our room, stupid curfew. Andrea was already there when we walked in, she was just getting out of the shower.

"Oh, there you are," she said with a smile. "Just on time for dinner."

Andrea got dressed quickly, she looked so much better now. She smiled now and she didn't look like she was going to faint and she wasn't coughing anymore. She even had some colour back in her cheeks, whatever they gave to her it was working.

"You are not sick anymore, are you?" I asked her with a smile.

"My throat still hurts a bit but I'm so much better. I really thought I was going to die."

"I never thought you were going to die," I told her.

"Why? I was bad, pretty bad."

"You just can't leave me as well," I simply said and I could hear her sigh.

"Let's just eat okay?"

The three of us sat at the table, there were cooked vegetables and some meat. It had been so long since I had eaten so well, and I wasn't eating raw or cold or even rotten food. I could at least enjoy these things while they last.

Michonne and I decided to not say anything to Andrea about wanting to leave, Andrea already knew and we didn't want to ruin this nice moment and dinner.

"This is nice," Andrea said with a smile.

"It really is," I agreed.

After that the three of us got into bed, turning the lights off. I rested my hand on the pillow and as usual my mind wandered on memories of the group. I thought of my mother, of Rick, Carl, Lori, Daryl, all of them. It had been almost a year and I still thought about them every night before sleeping and whenever I had time and wasn't in danger I would allow myself to remember them.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed but it was getting late and I wasn't able to fall asleep, for some reason my mind was invaded by bad thoughts.

I opened my eyes every once in a while to stop the bad images. I was seeing all of them being eaten by walkers or being turned.

"We have to get out of here," I heard Michonne whispering. It seemed like I wasn't the only one that couldn't sleep. I was going to reply, thinking she was talking to me, when I heard Andrea's voice.

"This is the best we will find, Michonne," she whispered. "We are safe here, let's stay another day or two, please."  
"We need to leave."

"Look, I need this, I almost died out there. I need to recover my strength and Cici." Oh no, was she going to get me into this too? "She's fragile, Michonne. She is strong and is good with a gun but she's fragile mentally. I don't know how long she would have kept it together."

"She wants to leave too."

"I saw her with a boy today, I'm sure that with more time she might give this place a chance."

"Andrea, I know you know Cici more than me but I know her enough to know that she's tough enough to keep her shit together," Michonne told her, and I felt like hugging her. "She might have been fragile before, I don't know, but she might have been but after all we've been through... if she was as fragile as you think, she wouldn't be here. Tomorrow you are going to ask Cici what she wants instead of speculating what she wants or needs, good-night, Andrea."

After that I heard nothing else, I was so shocked and mad that Andrea used me as an excuse to stay here and she called me fragile. I don't know why but that really bothered me.

QOTD: Where are you from? :)

What do you guys think of this chapter and the new guy, Chris? :P


	20. Chapter 20 - The Prison

"Sometimes good things fall apart, so better things can fall together."

\- Jessica Howell

The rest of the group hadn't had it easy either since the farm got overrun. They had been from place to place, from house to house for the last eight months.

Surprisingly, Carol had toughened up during this time. She had lost her husband, her younger daughter, which was a hard blow, and then her other daughter. She was all alone now. She couldn't explain the pain she felt when she didn't see Cecilia among the survivors that made it out of the farm.

She felt hopeless for days, she felt like giving up, she regretted not spending more time with her when Cecilia was alive. Instead she pushed her away and now it was way too late to fix that.

But not matter how much it hurt, she found the strength to move on after Sophia's death and she found the strength to move on after Cecilia's, which was a bit harder because she was the last one of her family that died and she was already grieving Sophia and Ed when it happened, the pain just kind of accumulated.

Almost all of them expected Carol to break apart and give up but it was the opposite. She was tough now, she stood up for herself and she even learnt to shoot, she wasn't that good but she was improving.

Teresa and Oliver took her death really bad. Teresa hadn't known Cecilia for more than two years but their bond was very strong, they shared an apartment and they did almost everything together. Oliver also was very close to her and they felt guilty everyday for not helping her when she needed them the most.

They couldn't explain why they couldn't face her after Sophia died. They didn't know what to do or say to her to make it better, they knew how much Cecilia loved Sophia. They just thought she was going to lose it any day and she did, she wanted to kill herself and it was Glenn and Daryl who convinced her not to do it, people that she met not long ago, that made them feel even worse.

Teresa felt like she didn't deserve to be sad about her because she didn't deserve to be called Cecilia's friend, not after she technically abandoned her.

Things were hard for her and Oliver, they couldn't deal with more problems. They had already too much on their shoulders when Sophia died. They just wanted Carol to step in but she never did and now Cecilia was dead.

Sean was the worst during the first months after the farm incident. He got withdrawn from the group. He had mixed feelings. Their leader had killed his uncle, he was furious about it, he wanted revenge but another part of him knew Rick did what he had to do. A part of him knew his uncle had lost his mind but he couldn't just accept that he was murdered. He tried his best to avoid Rick because he always felt like stabbing him or killing him or at least just punch him whenever he was close to Rick.

He had lost his siblings, his parents, his pets, his girlfriend and friends, and now his uncle was gone too. He was the last one of his family and he felt really lonely now that he was gone.

And on the other hand there was also Cecilia. He had to admit that Cecilia wasn't his type. He was into brunette girls with big brown eyes and he preferred girly, sweet girls, Cecilia wasn't girly or sweet at all, that's for sure. She was tough, she was able to survive and to stand up for herself. If it came to just the two of them, Cecilia would be the one protecting him, not the other way around.

But it didn't take long for Sean to fall for her. She was funny, sarcastic, fearless and bold, but she was also distant, cold and in a way, broken.

Sean remembered when they were dared to kiss back at the CDC, he wasn't that drunk that night and he remembered it perfectly. He always wondered if she remembered it, unlike him, she was really wasted that night. She didn't act awkward or shy around him the next day so he couldn't be sure if she didn't remember or if she just didn't mind.

He was going to tell her his feelings but he never could find a chance. First, they were on the road for days and she wasn't in the same car as him, then she went missing for four days, he thought he was never going to see her again and then she went mad and pushed everybody away, she wasn't even talking or eating and then when she got better she technically followed Daryl everywhere like a lost puppy, he found her and all that but he thought that was just too much. Sean could never find a chance to talk to her and it wasn't the right time to do it either. She had lost her sister days ago, it wouldn't be prudent to ask her out so soon and then she just died.

Sean will always wonder that if she hadn't died, would they have a chance to be together? Did she even like him like he liked her? He would never know.

Cecilia usually kept to herself and she preferred to be alone, except from the people she was close to, like Teresa. It was really hard to get to her but even when she wasn't as friendly or sociable as others, her death created a big void in everyone's hearts. She was very special to the group and very useful. She used to go on every run with Glenn and that's how the two of them got very close.

Glenn never in his life had a best female friend, he had some really good friends thanks to his charismatic personality but all of them were guys. And then he met Cecilia and they clicked almost instantly. Probably it was because when they were away, it was just the two of them and they counted on each other to watch their backs. They had to trust fully on the other.

Carl was another person who truly missed her, even after all this time. She was the only person he could trust with anything. He told her about the walker that killed Dale, told her he stole Daryl's gun. A reason he could trust her was because she was the youngest besides himself and somehow she knew what to do in most situations.

Beth didn't know Cecilia for more than two weeks but she got really close to her. It had been so long since Beth didn't see someone close to her age and someone that wasn't a relative. She lost her brother so she knew what Cecilia was going through. They got close really quickly and even when at the end they weren't allowed to be together alone she really cared for Cecilia and actually felt bad that she wanted to convince her to kill themselves together.

She even admitted to everyone she was the one that came up with it and she was the one that got the idea in Cecilia's head. Hershel thought Cecilia was to blame so Beth had to speak forward, she had to tell them, to honour her.

And then there was Daryl as well.

The first month he acted pretty much like he did when Merle was gone. He got back to being his old self, being rude to people and not giving a damn about anyone, pushing them all away. People knew they had gotten really close after he found her in the woods and knew it must be hard for him to feel like he failed to save Sophia and then lose Cecilia as well, so they gave him the space he needed.

But he composed himself, at least just on the outside and kept going with his life. People couldn't tell he was still hurting about her death because he didn't show any sign of it but in the inside, he was a mess.

That girl somehow got to him, slammed his walls down and found a place in his empty heart. He enjoyed her company, he enjoyed to tease her, to listen to her and just to be with her, she was different and now he had no one to talk to, no one to spend his time with like he did with Cecilia and even when he was surrounded by twelve people he felt very lonely.

Only days ago the group had found the perfect place to stay, to settle in. As Daryl and Rick walked on some rails they stumbled upon a prison.

There were walkers but it wasn't impossible, especially when they worked as a team. They killed all the walkers that were outside of the building and for once they could sleep a bit more calmed because of the fences that now surrounded them.

They eventually moved inside and it was a paradise compared to what they had been through in the last months. They had beds, a roof over their heads, and they were safe, at least for the time being, which was more important now that Lori was about to give birth.

Nobody in the group ever dreamt of being in a prison, none of them thought they would be thrilled to be in one but the world had changed and a prison was the safest place they would ever find, well, as soon as there were no more walkers.

But not everything was good news for the group, as they went further inside the prison to clear it out, Hershel got bit in the leg and Rick had to amputate it and due to the blood loss he was in a critical state and they weren't sure if it would work.

And the group soon found out there were more than just walkers inside the walls of the prison. They found five convicts locked inside the cafeteria. They had no idea what had happened to the world because they had been inside the prison all this time. It was quite amazing they survived inside a room for around ten months.

T-Dog, Daryl and Rick agreed to help them clear one block of the prison so they could have it and as they did, it was evident they couldn't kill walkers and they wouldn't last long on their own. One of them, the tallest, got bitten and another one of them kill him without hesitation or emotions, that made Rick more uneasy, he knew this guy meant no good.

And he was right. He ended up killing him only minutes later with a machete. A third guy was able to escape but went straight outside where walkers were around, they just could assume he died.

The other two convicts got the now cleared block and were made to stay there, if they crossed to the group's side they would be killed as well. Rick wasn't willing to take any risk.

As the group gathered around Hershel, who was between life and death, they heard a door creaking, Glenn, who was standing by the door, peeped out to see Carl carrying a big bag in one hand and his gun in the other.

"I thought you were organizing the food," the Korean guy asked Carl.  
"Even better," he muttered. "Check it out."

Carl went inside the cell where everyone was to take care of Hershel and make sure he wouldn't die and turn. Carl opened the bag, revealing lots of medical supplies.  
"Where did you get this?" his mother asked.

"From the infirmary," Carl told her. "Wasn't much left, but I cleared it out."  
"You went by yourself?" Lori asked.

Ever since Cecilia died, Carl didn't have anyone to trust, anyone to go with him, anyone to talk to as he talked to Cecilia and now he wasn't in the best of the terms with both his parents and they weren't in good terms either, it all had gotten so complicated.

"Yeah."  
"Are you crazy?" Lori exclaimed, getting upset at his son.

"No big deal, I killed two walkers."  
"Do you see this?" Lori asked him, pointing at Hershel's missing leg. "This was with the whole group."  
"We needed supplies, so I got them," Carl told her, getting upset.  
"I appreciate that, but..."

"Then get off my back!"  
"Carl, she's your mother!" Beth exclaimed. "You can't talk to her like that."  
"Listen, I think it's great that you want to help..."

Carl couldn't take it anymore, he stormed out of the cell and went to another cell upstairs. Glenn sighed, he knew he had to be close to Hershel in case he died but Carl needed someone right now. Glenn excused himself and went after the young boy. Glenn found him sitting on the floor, with his head buried in his knees and his back against the wall.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"They treat me like a baby," Carl muttered.

"We have to be careful, we have to go in groups, Carl," Glenn told the young boy as he sat next to him.

"Nobody would have gone with me and besides I didn't want anyone to go with me."

"Why not?"

"Be-because..." Carl stuttered, and Glenn could see Carl's bright blue eyes filling with tears. "Because that spot was for Cecilia and only for her."

Glenn took a deep breath and put an arm around the boy, rubbing his back. Carl wiped away a tear quickly so Glenn wouldn't see it, but he did.

"She told me one day that I could trust her and that we always would be a team. She made me promise her I would never go alone and no matter where I wanted to go, she would go with me," Carl said. "That night, the night the herd destroyed the farm, I was running into the woods to look for my dad, she caught me and instead of bringing me back like anyone would have done, she went with me, she stuck to her promise."

"I miss her too, Carl," Glenn admitted. "She was my best friend, I only knew her for about two months or three but that was enough, you know? I got attached to her."

"She was like my big sister," Carl said with a faint smile. "Sometimes annoying but she always had my back. It's my fault she's dead."

"Don't say that, Carl. It's not true."

"If I wouldn't have gone after my father she wouldn't have left the house and she would have been able to escape with us."

"Anything could have happened, this is not your fault."  
"If she would have been here, she would have gone with me to the infirmary and... and I wouldn't feel so alone."

"But you are not alone," Glenn told him. "You have all of us, your parents, Maggie, Beth, me, everyone."

"I feel like I'm alone," Carl whispered. "My parents... they are not even talking to each other. My dad is so busy being the leader he has forgotten he has a son and my mum... don't even get me started on her. All I know is that I really wish Cici would be here right now. I need her so much."

"These are difficult times, Carl. You mum and dad love you more than anything, they are just trying to keep us all alive and about Cici, I know. Do you know how many times I have wanted to have someone to talk to? About bad things or good things, I wish she could be here too. She would love to hear I found myself a girlfriend, that we are steady now and stuff. We will never forget her, Carl. And we have to be careful, so we can honour her. We can't be reckless, okay?"

"I just – I just hope she didn't suffer, you know? Or that she didn't turn, that would be awful." Glenn said nothing, he couldn't assure the boy that Cecilia didn't suffer or that she wasn't a walker now. "I was thinking about naming the baby Sophia or Cecilia or Sophia Cecilia if it's a girl."

"That would be nice," Glenn told him.

Glenn then patted his back before standing up and walking towards the door, but he stopped in his tracks and turned to look at the brunet boy. "Thanks by the way, for the medicine. We really needed all that." Carl said nothing but he smiled at Glenn.

Later that day, Hershel did wake up. He didn't die and became a walker. What Rick did actually worked and helped to save the old man's life.

It had been a few days since Hershel woke up. He had made a really good recovery so far. They even got him some crutches so he could walk. He was still weak due to the blood loss but he was a strong man and he was willing to do it.

Hershel grabbed the crutches and with the help of Beth and Lori he stood up. The two of them helped him walk through the prison until they got to the door. Lori wasn't too sure about it but Hershel insisted he could do it, so they allowed him to go outside.

The grounds of the prison and the block they were staying in now was free of bodies. The group had worked together to gather all the bodies out of the prison. It was hard and exhausting and it took more than a whole day but they did it.

"You cleared all those bodies out?" Hershel asked as he walked outside with Lori and Beth at each side of him, Carl and Teresa were also making him company. "It's starting to look like a place we could really live in."  
"Hey, you watch your step," Lori told him. "Last thing we need is you falling."  
"You're doing great, Daddy," Beth told him with a smile.  
"Ready to race, Hershel?" Carl asked the old man.

"Give me another day," he told Carl. "I'll take you on." Carl chuckled at him and Beth smiled.

The rest of the group smiled as they saw Hershel out of bed and alright. Their hearts filled with happiness as they saw they weren't going to lose another member of their group and that he was actually very optimistic about it, even when he didn't have a leg anymore.

But of course, in this new world things can't be calm and good for long. As people were admiring Hershel's will and perseverance, a group of walkers went their way, directly where Lori, Carl, Beth and Hershel were.  
"Walkers!" Carl shouted as he turned around and saw them. "Look out!"

Lori took out a small pistol and started to shoot the walkers that were closer to them, while the rest of the group had spotted them and were running towards them.

"Get out! Get out of there! No! Lori!" Rick yelled as he ran to them, desperate to get to them in time.

Teresa, Maggie, T-Dog and Carol were closer to them and got there first. They started to shoot the walkers but they were too many. Carl also helped. He had gotten extremely accurate and most of the time he kept calmed, which helped in how of a good shot he was.

"That gate is open!" T-Dog exclaimed, finding where the walkers had come in. T-Dog and Carol ran to the gate to close it and stop more walkers to pass through it.

"Lori! Here! Come on!" Maggie exclaimed. She, Lori and Carl ran behind a door and went inside the prison. Teresa, Beth and Hershel had gotten behind a fenced door on the other side. Teresa kept shooting at walkers to protect the three of them since Hershel could barely walk with the crutches and Beth didn't have a gun.

Rick, Daryl, Sean, Oliver and Glenn kept running to help them. They went through the last gate, leaving it open in the rush, therefore not locking the two convicts again, who were locked there earlier that day when they refused to back to their block because they couldn't take it anymore.

T-Dog rushed to get the gate closed and as he did he got bit in the right shoulder, he managed to get it off of him and killed the walker but the damage was done. He and Carol hurried inside another part of the prison.

Oliver, Daryl, Rick Sean and Glenn finally made it. They started shooting and they killed all the walkers there when an alarm went off. Rick shot the speakers and went straight to the convicts, who could have opened the gates? For now they were the main suspects of this chaos.

"It has to be the backup generators," Oscar, the dark-skinned convict, exclaimed to Rick, referring to the alarm.  
"Well, how do you turn those on?"

"There's three that's connected to a diesel tank, okay? Each one controls a certain part of the prison.  
The hatch shut them all off when the prison was overrun."  
"Can someone open up the main gates electronically with full power?"

"I only went in a few days. I guess it might be possible."  
"Come with us!" Rick exclaimed as he pulled the man's shirt and pulled him with him.

Rick, Glenn, Oliver, Daryl, Oscar and Axel, the blond convict with a weird moustache, ran into the prison. First they had to kill the walkers that were inside and look for Lori, Maggie and Carl but they couldn't find them.

Inside the prison, Maggie, Lori were going back to their cells when some walkers were coming from there. They had no choice but to venture further into the prison. As they kept walking, Lori started to get contractions. She stopped, yelled out and leaned against the wall for support.

"Can you keep up?" Maggie asked her.

"Something's not right," Lori said.  
"Are you bit?" Carl asked quickly, fearing the worst.

"No, no, no. I think the baby's coming."  
Right at that moment some more walkers were going towards them. Carl led the way with his gun raised, while Maggie put her arm around Lori to help her walk.

Walkers were coming from every way so they had to go into one little room, closing the door behind them. Once inside, Lori held on to a chain as another contraction hit her.

"Lori, let's lay you down," Maggie said.  
"No, the baby's coming now," Lori muttered.  
"We have to get back to our cell block to have Hershel help," Carl exclaimed.  
"We can't risk getting caught out there," Maggie told him. "You're going need to give birth to this baby here."

As another contraction hit Lori, Maggie took Lori's jeans off and laid her down. Carl was in shock and scared and didn't know what to do.  
"You're going need to help deliver your brother or sister, you up for it?" Maggie told him. "I'm going to see if you're dilated."

"Do you know how?" Carl exclaimed.

"Dad taught me, but trust me, it's my first time." Maggie tried to do the test but she wasn't sure.  
"I can't tell," Maggie told Lori.  
"I gotta push."  
Lori stood up with some help as she panted heavily. Lori pushed a few times, Carl was petrified in one spot and Maggie rubbed Lori's back and tried to tell her things to keep her going until she noticed something was wrong.  
"Lori, don't push – stop! Something's wrong!"

Lori was bleeding. Maggie helped her lie down again, Carl finally reacted and went to kneel next to his mother.  
"Mum? Mum, look at me, look at me! Keep your eyes open!" Carl exclaimed at her, noticing she was giving up.  
"We have to get you back to Dad," Maggie said.  
"I'm not going to make it," Lori said in a very faint voice.  
"Lori, with all this blood, I don't even think you're fully dilated yet," Maggie exclaimed, freaking out. "No amount of pushing is going to help."  
"I know what it means, and I'm not losing my baby," Lori whispered. "You've gotta cut me open."  
"No. I can't."  
"You don't have a choice."  
"I'll go for help," Carl exclaimed as he stood up and started to head for the door but Lori stopped him.  
"Look, Carol is the one that practiced that. Dad only taught me the steps, Lori. I have no anaesthetic, no equipment..."

"Carl has a knife," Lori pointed out.  
"You won't survive," Maggie told her firmly.  
"My baby has to survive, please. My baby. For all of us, please, Maggie! Please!" Lori shouted, raising her voice for the first time, Maggie just weakly shook her head. "Please."  
Maggie slowly raised Lori's shirt to expose her belly and the faint scar of the C-section she got with Carl, who by now was back next to his mother.  
"You see my old C-section scar?"

"I can't," Maggie cried.  
"You can. You have to. Carl?" Lori muttered, turning to look at her boy. "Baby, I don't want you to be scared, okay? This is what I want. This is right. Now you... you take care of your daddy for me, all right? And your little brother or sister, you take care..."

"You don't have to do this," Carl cried, interrupting her.  
"You're going to be fine. You are going to beat this world. I know you will," Lori told him, finding strength deep inside of her. "You are smart, and you are strong, and you are so brave, and I love you."  
"I love you too," Carl said as tears rolled down his face.  
"You gotta do what's right, baby. You promise me, you'll always do what's right. It's so easy to do the wrong thing in this world. So don't, so if it feels wrong, don't do it, all right? If it feels easy don't do it. Don't let the world spoil you. You're so good," Lori told him as she brought her hand up and caressed Carl's cheek. "You're my sweet boy. The best thing I ever did and I love you!"

During her whole speech, Lori kept strong but at the last part her voice broke and she broke down. She pulled Carl into her arms and hugged him as tight as she could, Carl did the same, wrapping his arms around his mother's neck as he cried. Maggie also wept, seeing mother and son sharing their last hug.  
"I love you. You're my sweet, sweet boy. I love you." Lori squeezed him tight, kissed his check before she pulled away. "Maggie, when this is over, you're going to have to...You have to do it. It can't be Rick."  
Carl shakily handed the knife to Maggie, who just as shakily gripped it but then composed herself for the baby's sake. She muttered a "I'm sorry," to Lori before pressing the knife against Lori's stomach and cutting her open.

Lori's screams were something horrible to hear and almost unbearable. Carl lost it and started to shout at Maggie but Maggie kept calm, giving him instructions. Soon, Lori went unconscious due to the big amount of pain she was feeling.

"I see it. I see the ears. I'm going pull it out," Maggie said to Carl, who kept crying and barely listened to Maggie. "I can't tell if this is the arm or the leg."  
Maggie finally pulled the baby out and held it. It wasn't crying and Maggie wasn't sure if the baby was breathing. She delicately patted the baby's chest to reanimate it and then turned it around so she could patted its back, as soon as she did, the baby cried.

Carl took off his jacket quickly and handed it to Maggie, who wrapped the baby in it after she cut the umbilical cord.  
"We have to go," Maggie said as she stood up.  
"We can't just leave her here," Carl exclaimed. "She'll turn."  
"Carl!"

"She's my mum!"  
Maggie just walked as she held the baby tightly against her chest. Carl felt the world beneath him shattering as he realized he had to do it. He took his pistol in his hand and turned to look at where his mother lied. Carl fell down next to her and hugged her one last time, then he stood up, he pointed at her head and with a very deep breath and a few tears he pulled the trigger.

As soon as the bullet flew out of the pistol, his emotions went with it. He felt numb, absolutely and completely numb. He walked away quickly, passing Maggie. No more tears fell from his eyes, not in that moment at least, he was emotionless.

Outside of the prison, Rick was determined to find his family. Hershel, Beth, the two convicts, Glenn, Daryl, Teresa, Oliver and Sean were there.

"We're going back!" Rick told them as soon as he realized Lori and Carl weren't there. "Daryl and Glenn, you come with..."

Rick was interrupted by the sound of a baby crying, he turned around quickly to see Maggie holding a newborn baby, her hands were bloody. Carl was behind her, his head down, not even once he looked up to see Rick, who slowly approached them, letting drop the axe he was holding. Maggie tried to tell him something but she couldn't stop crying.

"Where... where is she? Where is she?" Rick asked.

Maggie said nothing. Rick was walking past Maggie when Maggie tried to stop him, putting a hand on his biceps, holding the baby with her other hand.

"No, Rick, no!"

That's when Rick lost it. He started to cry. Rick wiped some tears away and then put his hands on his hips and then turned to look at his son and bent to be at Carl's level.  
"No! No!" he cried. Carl didn't look at him because he knew he would lose it again if he did, his numbness was washing away and all he was starting to feel were little stabs in his heart that every time hurt more and more. "No! No! No!"

Rick straightened up and took some steps away as he kept crying. He eventually collapsed to the floor, he put his hands over his face as he kept crying. He had never felt such a pain like this, never. The love of his life was death, gone. And he wasn't there for her.

Did you suspect Sean might have feelings for Cecilia? What do you think about him liking her?

Hope that you like the chapter even when it was mostly a filler. Cecilia's in the other chapter :)


	21. Chapter 21 - Kinky, huh?

"Waiting hurts. Forgetting hurts. But not knowing which decision to take can

sometimes be the most painful..."  
― José N. Harris, MI VIDA: A Story of Faith, Hope and Love

The next morning I woke up after Andrea and Michonne, who were eating breakfast by the bed. As soon as I sat up on my bed and stretched I could feel the tension in the room. They weren't talking, they weren't even looking at each other. Andrea looked very uncomfortable and she had all the right to be; Michonne had been glaring the whole time, she's so scary sometimes. If looks could kill we would all had been gone by now.

"So cheerful," I said sarcastically, Michonne only turned her glare to me.

I sat in front of them and grabbed some toast and some pieces of fruits. I was dying to get some eggs again but we didn't have a stove here.

"So, what's the matter?" I asked them, knowing pretty well why they were so angry. None of them replied, making me sigh. "You two remember me of my parents, you know? Except my mum wouldn't look angry, she would look scared and weak and would even tremble sometimes."

And it was the truth. I went through so many similar situations in my life. Sometimes we would sit down to eat together and my father would look so intimidating while my mother would shake with fear right next to him and a beating would follow if it hadn't happened already.

Andrea looked a really more uncomfortable when I mentioned my parents. The mention of my father probably made her feel like like that because she remembered how abusive he could be to us and that time by the lake when Andrea and him got into a fight and I ended up with a concussion and my mother, because the group and her had always been a sensitive topic to the both of us since they left us behind.

"I was thinking about helping Merle..." I started but Michonne interrupted me.

"You want to help that bastard?"

"He's not as bad as you think. He can be a really good person," I told her. "Anyway, I was thinking of showing him where the farm is."

"Why?" Andrea asked him.

"I've got my reasons to help him but also because I know what he's feeling. I remember when Sophia went missing and all I wanted was to find her, I understand him so I want to do something nice for him."

"He pointed a gun to us, tied our hands and brought us here against our wishes!" Michonne exclaimed.

"You won't make me change my mind," I said as calmed as I could.

The three of us continued to eat our breakfast in complete silence. Not only Michonne was already upset but I made her even angrier and that was really scary. I had known this woman for around eight months and she saved me and I trusted her with my life but she could be extremely intimidating and if wanted, lethal, just not to me, I knew she wouldn't kill or even harm me or Andrea.

I decided it was better not to mention that I wanted to leave this place as soon as possible. That would make Andrea upset at me as well and the three of us would argue and get upset at each other so I thought it was just the best to keep my mouth shut for now.

"I'll go for a walk," I told them as I stood up. "If you need me just look for me in the streets."

I put on my pair of jeans, another T-shirt, and my tennis shoes very quickly and walked out of the room.

I wasn't very fond of the idea of walking around Woodbury but I couldn't spend another second in that room with those two there, I couldn't take it. We would just end up killing each other sooner or later.

"Cici!" I heard my name being said almost immediately after walking out of the building, I turned around to see a redhead walking towards me.

"Hi, Chris!" I said smiling at the guy. "How are you?"

"I'm really good, and you?"

"Perfect," I exclaimed, and somehow he didn't notice my sarcasm.

"Why don't you come with me, my siblings are here and they are dying to meet you."

Before I could agree, Chris grabbed my hand and pulled me with him, thing I didn't really appreciate, I hated when people touch me and I wasn't in the mood to meet people and socialize as usual but I couldn't find a good enough excuse.

"Cici, these are Amanda and Wayne," Chris told me, pointing to a young girl with bright, curly red hair and a boy with short brown hair. "Guys, this is Cici."

The boy was more reserved, he only shook my hand but the girl wasn't. She pulled me into a tight hug which made me to get tense almost immediately, I awkwardly patted her back until she pulled away.

"Nice to meet you, Cici," she told me with a big smile. "How old are you? You seem to be around my age, I'm sure we could be really good friends. I could show you around, where have you been staying? I could visit you or you could move in with us or..."

"Woah, Amanda, calm down!" Wayne told her. "You are scaring the girl."

"Besides," Chris added. "She says she won't stay."

"Aww no, why not?" Amanda asked with a frown.

"I want to look for my mother." I used the same excuse I told Chris when I met him. "I'm realistic and I know it might be impossible to find her but I'll be satisfied if I at least try, you know?"

"Of course," Wayne said nodding.

"I do hope you find her, we lost our mother so we know how that is like," Amanda said to me, putting a hand on my shoulder and rubbing it in a supportive way. I couldn't help but tense again since I wasn't used to all of this contact, especially with strangers.

"Is the other blonde woman your sister?" Wayne asked me.

"Oh no," I said smiling. "We just are in the same group, but I love her as a sister."

After that the siblings took me to their house, it had two rooms. One for their father and the other for the three of them. Amanda was very kind to give me some coffee, I almost hugged her for that. I hadn't drunk coffee for almost a year and I used to drink it every day before, at least one cup daily.

"Oh my God," I muttered as I drank the last bit of it. "This was so good, I'll love you forever Amanda, not more than coffee, though." The three of them chuckled at me.

"If I had known your reaction I would have given you coffee before," Chris told me with a wink, which I decided to ignore, maybe Michonne wasn't that wrong about him liking me.

"One of the things I miss the most is my morning coffee and just coffee in general," I told them with a sad smile.

"I miss casinos," Wayne told me. "I was very good at it, always left with more money."

"Oh really? I only went once and I lost about fifty dollars," I told him. "But it was fun."

The siblings told me more about their life before all of this. Amanda was just about to finish school and move to Scotland (their father was Scottish) for university there, Wayne was extremely smart but he never studied further than high school, he said he was going to crack casinos' methods and earn million of dollars one day, from what I heard he was good but who knows how good. Chris had already graduated from law school and worked as a lawyer, he told me he had gone to Yale University.

Then they asked me about my life. As usual I didn't say much. I just said I was in university and shared my apartment with my two best friends, I didn't tell them lots of details, I even left out why I moved to New York, I just told them I was visiting my family when the outbreak happened, and that's how I ended up here.

Well," I said to them, standing up. "Michonne and Andrea might be looking for me, I better go."

"You can come later," Chris said quickly.

"Sure, thanks."

I was enjoying their company but as soon as they asked about me I knew I had to leave. My past was something I didn't like to talk about and it's better if people don't find out much about it.

I almost jogged back to the building where our room was. I went up the stairs and opened the door to find Michonne and Andrea on the bed. Michonne was intensively looking at the map between them.

"About time," Andrea said. "We were about to look for you."

"Yeah, I can see that," I said sarcastically, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"If we leave soon, we'll got a few hours on the road before dusk," Michonne told us, barely glancing at us before looking down at the map.  
"Oh, where are we heading?" I asked excitedly.

"I'm thinking the coast," Michonne told me. "We have the water completely on one side, maybe we can find a boat, best thing we can do is find an island."  
"And if the coast isn't safe?" Andrea asked.

"Keep moving."  
"Let's suppose the coast is safe, then what do we do? Just grow old, live off the sea by ourselves?"

"It doesn't sound that bad," I said with a smile. "Does it?"

"I'd rather take my chances out there than stay here," Michonne said to Andrea.  
"Because your gut tells you there's something off about this place, about the Governor?"

"It's kept us alive this long," Michonne told her as she glanced at her.  
"That's true, Andrea," I said nodding. "Besides, I don't want to be here either."

"Alright." Andrea sighed in defeat while Michonne and I felt victorious. "When do we leave?"

"As soon as possible."

"In that case, I'll go out and look for Merle and..."

"Speaking of that," Andrea interrupted me, sitting up. "I've got you this." She handed me a big map. "I circled the area where the farm is, I'm sure Merle will be able to read it better than us."

"You saved me a lot of time, thank you Andrea," I said smiling at her. "I'll be right back."

I went out into the streets and tried to spot Merle, which thankfully wasn't hard. He was close to the entrance of this town, just walking from the scaffold.

"Exactly the man I wanted to see," I said smiling when he approached me.

"Woah, I had no idea you were that crazy about me but I won't complain," he told me with a smirk. "I'm all yours, sweetheart."

"Oh shut up!" I exclaimed, grabbing him by his sleeve and pulling him behind a tall building, there were lots of flowers around, so if people walked by they wouldn't see us that easily.

"Kinky, huh? You are full of surprises, sweetheart. I never expected you to like doing it in public, hard against a wall, Blondie."

"Here," I said, rolling my eyes and putting the map against Merle's chest so he could grab it. "Andrea circled where you can find that farm we were staying at with Daryl."  
"Ah, you were right off Route 9 right before it becomes Dahlonega Highway," Merle exclaimed after he took a good look at the map. "And you're saying that the farm is only about a day's walk from there?"

"Around a day, it could be a bit more. Here," I said pointing to an area on the map. "Is where Sophia and I got lost, or that's what Andrea told me. They looked for us even all the way here."

"You got lost?" Merle asked me, looking from the map to me. "How?"

"We were in the highway when we saw a herd coming, we hid under the cars, one spotted Sophia and me. We had to run into the woods," I said, at the end my voice was just barely above a whisper. "I lost her after the first night."

"How long were you lost?"

"Four days," I told him.

"And you survived on your own for four days in the woods?" Merle asked with an impressed expression.

"I did but barely. I couldn't find water or food anywhere. Sophia, she, uh, she was bit and we found her later but I survived."  
"A girl that can take care of herself, that's sexy. How come we never hooked up?" Merle asked, making me roll my eyes but smile at him too.

"Maybe because you are at least twenty-five years older than me," I said in a duh tone, trying to ignore the fact he was eyeing me up and down with lust in his eyes. "And if I remember correctly you said back on that roof that you weren't into girls as young as me and..."

"And the fact that you preferred my baby brother."

"I did not prefer him," I said, feeling my cheeks going red.

"You slept with him" he pointed out with an eyebrow raised.

I stayed quiet, wondering what exactly Merle meant by that. Did he just mean we shared the tent and slept right next to each other or did he mean that plus us having sex?

"If you are implying Daryl and I ever did something, we didn't, ever. We barely even talked," I told him. "He was the first to offer me a place to sleep and to be honest you were a bit intimidating and rude to people, you called me a rugmuncher when I refused to share the tent with you." He chuckled.  
"Got a way with words, don't I?"

"Oh, yeah."  
We chuckled once again but then Merle's smile disappeared and he looked at me with a serious expression, in return my smile was also gone.  
"Why are you doing this?" He asked, lifting the map so I could know what he meant.

"Well, there are a few reasons. Firstly, I know what it is like. As soon as I woke up that morning to find out she was nowhere to be seen, all I wanted to do was look for her and find her. Secondly, I owe it to you as much as I owe it to Daryl. Thirdly, it's not hard to do something nice for people."

"What do you mean? Why do you think you owe us?" Merle asked confused.

"When I got lost, Daryl put his life in danger to find me and my sister. He almost died, Merle, and he never gave up on us even when my own mother did," I said honestly to him, tears filled my eyes as I remembered what happened to Sophia and how my mother lost hope, but I didn't allow myself to cry, not in front of Merle. "And I always remember the time my father was hitting me and you stood up for me. All the people back at camp noticed what he was doing to us but you were the only one brave enough to stop him and I appreciate that. That's why I wanted to go back to Atlanta for you, you didn't deserve to be left behind."

"You didn't either."

"But it happened to the both of us anyway," I said shrugging, looking at the ground.  
"You sure you don't wanna come with me?" Merle asked me, making me look up at him once again.  
"It's tempting," I admitted. "But I can't abandon Michonne and Andrea. If it wasn't for Michonne I would be dead right now."

"It's not abandoning, we will just go on a run. You could go back with her after it," Merle told me. "You ain't curious about the old gang? About your mum? Or are you still upset that they left you? If it helps of anything if they really did go back for me I'm sure they went back for you."  
"Well, I'm not too sure about that but I didn't stick around long enough to find out," I said shrugging.  
"Ain't that a big ol' pig sack? We got something in common, Blondie," he told me, getting a bit closer to me. "We got left behind by the same people and saved by another."

"I've got a bad feeling about this place, about this _Governor,_ " I said emphasizing the last word. I knew I could trust Merle with this.  
"I wasn't in the best of shape when he found me," he told me. "He should have just kept on going but he didn't. He's a good man."  
"I hope you are right about that."

"Tell you what," he said. "I'll let you think about it, about going with me to this farm. You don't have to answer me now, just think about it."

"Alright." I nodded. "If I don't go with you and you find them, can you tell my mum and all of them that I'm alive and well?"

"Sure thing," he said. "If you find Daryl, tell him I'm alive and looking for him."

"I will," I promised.

After that Merle turned away and left me there. It took me a while to react and go back to our room because I kept thinking about Merle's offer. Michonne wanted to go to the coast but if I went with Merle I had a chance, a minimal one, but still a chance to see my mother, and Carl and Daryl and everyone else again and that was very tempting.

When I got back to the room, Michonne was on her own, packing the little stuff we have. She turned to look at my direction when she heard the door and actually looked relieved it was me.

"Where's Andrea?" I asked.

"Went to thank the Governor for his hospitality." she scoffed. "I actually wanted to talk to you before she comes back."

"What is it?" I asked, getting nervous. By the look on her face I could assume it was serious.

"Went for a walk earlier, came across the vehicles from the National Guard. There were bullet holes all over them and there was blood as well, still fresh blood."

"So, you think the Governor and his men killed them?"

"I'm sure of it," Michonne told me. "We need to go as soon as possible."

"Why don't you want to tell Andrea?" I asked her.

"I will but later. She will be in denial and might want to stay here. I knew you would believe me." I nodded at her.

"I always felt like something was off about this place."

At that exact moment, Andrea walked in. She smiled at me when she noticed I was back. I smiled back at her before grabbing my bag and putting my belongings inside.

"How did it go with Merle?"

"Really good," I said, not looking her in the eye. "He appreciated it a lot."

"But you are not telling me something," Andrea said instantly and I sighed.

"He offered me to go with him."

"And you will go with him?" Michonne and Andrea asked me at the same time, making me turn around to face them.

"To be honest I'm not sure. I don't want to go back there because it brings bad memories, really bad ones and I don't want to leave you two but I also am tempted to go because it's my chance to see them all again."

"We both know they won't be there, Cici," Andrea told me.

"I know but we could stumble on them, with a lot of luck, but it's a possibility, you know?"

"If you feel like you need to do this, Cici, then do it, even when I don't think it's a good idea, especially if you are all alone with Merle."

"He's not like that, Andrea!" I exclaimed.

"Daryl told us he got the clap a lot, you can have an idea of his lifestyle before this," Andrea pointed out.

"Look, we are not discussing that right now."

"You are right." Andrea nodded. "Well, Michonne and I could stay here until you get back, it won't be more than two, three days and actually I was going to tell you guys that we should stay another day or two, so it would be perfect."

"I thought we had an agreement," Michonne said to her.  
"We can always leave tomorrow or the following day," Andrea said.  
"The following day?"

"We don't want to walk into trouble that we can't get out of," Andrea said. "And that could give Cici time to go look for her mother."  
"Tell me about it," Michonne muttered.  
"Michonne, it is just a day or two."  
"I heard you the first time," Michonne told her. "And we stayed but I can't stay any longer. If Cici wants to go look for her family, fine, but I won't wait for her in here and you can't make me," she said the last part, looking at me.

With that, Michonne angrily left the room, leaving me and Andrea. I was feeling guilty and like a traitor for even considering going with Merle.

"Do you think it is right?" I asked Andrea.

"I'm not sure about that but if we were talking about Amy, I would do anything to find her," Andrea told me with a shrug and after that she also left the room.

I sighed and let myself fall down into the small bed. I was so confused I didn't know what to do. I felt like I was backstabbing them, but mostly Michonne, and I didn't want to leave her or Andrea. We were a team, we were... the three musketeers or something like that. We were strong and we somehow worked well together and I had gotten so fond of both of them.

I just hoped they could understand. Andrea seemed to be okay but of course Michonne wasn't and I understood her because I wouldn't be okay either if I was in her place. First, Andrea didn't want to leave this place and now I want to go on a run with someone that pointed a gun to us and brought us here against our will and she knows what this place has done, she knows the Governor can't be trusted, so yeah, she has all the right to be furious at us.

I decided to leave the room as well, if they wanted to leave they should find me quickly. I would just be walking around, clearing my head but it seemed like that wouldn't be happening because Merle spotted me and walked to me.

"Blondie! Hey, Blondie!" he called but I didn't move from my spot, I just stopped walking. "Hmm, I just realized I call you both Blondies, I think I should call one of you 'Rubia' or at least Blondie number two."

"What do you want, Merle?" I asked him.

"Straight to the chase, huh? Well, I talked to the Governor and he won't let me use a car or anything but I was thinking we could find a car somewhere and use it so we could get there faster and that way I could get you here faster to your two girlfriends."

"When did I even agree to go with you?"

"You didn't say it with your mouth but your eyes gave you away, Blondie, besides," he said, taking a step towards me as a smirk grew on his thin lips. "I know you can't resist to spend a night with me, all alone, cuddling close to me in the woods to keep your body warm." He winked at me and I just rolled my eyes.

"That just makes me not want to go with you," I told him.

"Oh come on! You know you are just playing hard to get but once we are there you won't be able to keep your hands to yourself, ain't I right, sweetheart?"

"Can't you just focus on Daryl, instead? If I agree to go and you try anything, I promise I'll shoot your friend down there." Merle just chuckled at me. "Did you just come here to talk about that or what?"

"Actually, there' something else," Merle told me. "We can't leave today or tomorrow, we have to wait until the day after tomorrow."

"Why so long?"

"There's a party tomorrow and you can say I'm something like the guest of honour!"

"A party?" I asked in disbelief. I spent almost a year out there trying to survive and this people hold parties?

"Yeah, so even if I want to leave right now, we can't. I have to get some things done now but I'll see you around, yeah?" I just nodded at him before he left me once again.

Michonne, Andrea and I ended up not leaving that day, I wasn't even sure if I was going to leave with them or Merle.

That night dinner was extremely awkward. No one said anything. Michonne wasn't talking to us and I didn't know what to say and I assumed Andrea didn't know either, so, without a word, the three of us went to sleep that night.

Hello guys! I know it took me a bit to post this chapter but I didn't want to update until my video of Daryl/Cecilia was ready. So please check it out :D And just so you know there are things in the video that WON'T happen in the story, it was so hard to fit the clips together and I couldn't find scenes that are in the story so I had to improvise a bit but I hope you all like it! :)

Link: Daryl & Cecilia

QOTD: What do you think of Chris and his family (Amanda & Wayne)?

And what do you think Cecilia will do? Go with Michonne or go with Merle?


	22. Chapter 22 - G O Back!

"Listen to your gut, her father was fond of saying, but make up your own damn mind."  
― Jeremy Robinson, Flood Rising

The next day was a bit overwhelming. Everyone was outside in the streets with cold beverages, _cold!_ The seventy-three of them were talking and having fun, the kids were playing with the few dogs and men were doing a barbecue, it seemed like a normal day of our old normal lives, but it was so normal that it felt so bizarre now.

I was joined by Chris, Amanda, Wayne and another girl, Jessica, they were extremely happy about it and they were enjoying the festivities while I just stared in disbelief at everyone, this was just out of place, at least in my opinion and apparently in Michonne's opinion, when I turned to look at her I noticed she had a glare on her face.

Then we were all called to gather around, the Governor was going to give a speech, another one of his hypocritical boring speeches of his.

"Alright! The first time we got together, we were nine. Locked in an apartment with spam and saltine crackers Well, look at us now," he said with a proud smile, I just rolled my eyes at him. "We have built a place we can call home. It's ours. So today we celebrate how far we've come. We remember those we have lost. We raise our glass," with that everyone except me raised their glasses. "To us!"  
People clapped and cheered after the Governor finished his speech. Chris was clapping quite loudly next to me, he turned to look at me with a smile and I offered him a fake one, he didn't notice, though.

I looked around to look for Michonne but I couldn't find her anywhere. She probably got fed up with his bullshit and went back to our room.

I was invited to join Chris and his family the whole day. They refused to tell me what the big event of tonight was about but they said it was pretty entertaining. I kept wondering what was so great when I saw Merle, getting Andrea and they both walked away quickly. I decided to shrug it off for now, I finished my meal and then excused myself to go to my room but promised Chris I was going to see him later.

I walked back to our room, where Michonne was. I was going to ask her what was wrong now when the door was opened and Andrea walked in.  
"We gotta talk," she said to Michonne.  
"We gotta go," she said, as she put things inside her bag. It was then when I realized she had her katana back. "The Governor told me what happened." I was going to ask what she did when Andrea kept talking. "Michonne, you can not do things like that. You're freaking people out. You're freaking _me_ out."  
"The west wall is guarded by some girl," Michonne told her, ignoring what Andrea said. "We escape there after dark."  
Michonne almost threw the bag to Andrea, who had a hard time handling it before letting it fall down on the bed and then Michonne handed me my gun and my knife, I looked at her with a big grin on my face.

"Wow," I exclaimed as I examined my gun. "Thanks!"

"We are not prisoners her," Andrea exclaimed.  
"No one who comes here leaves!"  
"What are you talking about? It is safe! There's food, there's shelter. There's people for God's sake!"  
"That's what they show you," Michonne said, trying to get Andrea back into her senses. "But you can not leave unless they make you."  
"You're not making any sense."

"Andrea, I think she's right. Ever since we came here it's excuse after excuse and we can't never leave," I said.  
"You need to trust me," Michonne told Andrea.  
"And you need to give me more to go on! We got a good thing here."  
"I thought this was temporary!" Michonne shot at her.  
"And I think we need this!" Andrea shot back. "I want to give this place a real shot!"

"I tried, we tried."  
"Breaking in a house? That is not trying. That is sabotaging!"  
"This place is not what they say it is," Michonne slowly and patiently said to Andrea.

"Michonne is right, we can't stay here."

"Why do you want to go out there? We are safe here!"

"From walkers, maybe, but not from humans. I agree we need to go."

"Wait, won't you go with Merle back to the farm?"

"I – uh – I haven't decided yet but either way I won't stay here."

We kept arguing for maybe twenty minutes and somehow the three of us walked out with our bags over our shoulders. I hid my gun in the waistband of my jeans and my knife was in my shoe, hidden by the end of my jeans.

"Hey, hey, hey, girls!" I heard Merle's voice say to us, he was running after us. "Where are you all off to in such a hurry? Huh? Eh? Hey, come on, now!" He had caught up with us by now. "All of you are breaking my heart running away like that."  
"We're leaving," Michonne told him.  
"It's almost curfew. I would have to arrange an escort," he said and I just took a deep sigh, if Andrea couldn't see that there was always something stopping us then she was blind. "I mean, the party is still going on."

Michonne said nothing else to him, she just lifted her head and looked straight at him, I was sure she was thinking the same as me, just more excuses.

"All right, wait here a second." Merle approached a man that that was on the scaffold and said something to him, we couldn't hear him so Andrea approached him.  
"The Governor told us we were free to come and go whenever we wanted," Andrea told him.

"Sweetheart, nothing personal here, but you have to step back," Merle told her, Andrea just looked confused as she walked back to us.  
"See? There is always a reason why we can not leave yet," Michonne told her.  
"Clear!" We heard a man shout.  
"Now, if I were you, I would find some shelter before nightfall," Merle told us, opening the gate. Michonne and I just looked at each other, confused.  
"They knew we were coming. This was all for show," Michonne said as she looked at the doors in disbelief.  
"Do you hear yourself? How can you know that? And why would they bother?" Andrea asked, because of this she wasn't believing us that no one can leave this place.

"Ladies," Merle exclaimed.

"Close the gate!" Andrea told him, obviously she was fed up with our 'bullshit'.  
"No!" Michonne exclaimed quickly.  
"I practically begged the Governor to let you stay," Andrea told him, as they once again argued, Merle motioned me to approach him. I took a deep breath and did.  
"What?" I asked him, my arms crossed in front of my chest.

"Thought you and I were going back to that farm."

"I can't leave Michonne now."

"I promise you we will leave first thing tomorrow."

"Why do you want me to go, anyway?"

"Well, you know exactly where the farm is and it would be better to have some company, and well we can keep each other warm during the night, if you know what I mean," he said with a wink, I just hardened my glare at him, feeling like punching him. "But the question here is, why you want to go? Because I know you do."

"I want to see them again, I miss them."

"Well, just wait one more night and we will drive to that farm and look for our blood, I want my brother, you want your mother. If we find nothing at least we know we tried."

I said nothing to him, I wanted so bad to go with Merle. I wanted so bad to not separate from Michonne, from Andrea. Merle sighed, then he leaned down and looked me straight in my eyes, his eyes were very similar to Daryl's but a shade or two lighter.

"Don't go, please," Merle whispered in my ear.

"Why not?" I asked as I moved my head a bit back so I could look into his eyes again, which painfully reminded me of Daryl so much.

"I can't tell you, just don't go," he said, his voice still low, which made chills run up and down my spine, in a bad way, not because of how close he was to me but for what he was saying to me. "I'll explain tomorrow, I promise. But don't go now."

"Promise me this is not a trick or another excuse to not let us go, promise me on... Daryl."

"I promise on my little brother, little Blondie, please, just listen to me this one time. Trust me."

Our conversation was interrupted as Andrea shouted Michonne's name, who was walking away from Andrea, then she stopped in front of me with an emotionless face.

"I assume you will stay too," she said coldly, I hesitated as I bit my lip.

"I need to do this, Mich, I need to," I desperately told her. "I promise I will catch up with you, just give me two days and I'll join you again, I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"But I will, I'll just go to that farm and then I'll look for you," I told her and then gave her a hug so I could whisper in her ear, she probably knew what I was doing because I never hug people and she doesn't either, and she didn't push me away or even tensed. "I don't trust the Governor but I trust Merle and I think something's up, be careful." She nodded at me but barely so the other's around us couldn't see.

"I will," she whispered and then pulled away. "I'm better off alone, anyway," she told me and I won't deny her words hurt me, whether if they were true or not.

Then she walked past me and went through the gate. I looked at her, wishing to go after her but I knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing I had the chance to look for my mother and the group, so I stayed.

Merle closed the gate quickly and then walked away, Andrea and I pressed our bodies against it, finding a space where we could see her, the two of us had tears in our eyes. I had a reason to stay and maybe Andrea thought this was safe but safe or not, she shouldn't have abandoned her.

"Cici, I..."

"You are blinded, Andrea, Michonne told me some stuff about this place and I believed her. This is not what you think it is."

"Then why did you stay?" Andrea snap at me.

"I won't stay forever. I will leave tomorrow with Merle and after the farm we'll go our separate ways, I will find Michonne again and join her!" I exclaimed. "Just don't doubt her, she saved our lives all those months ago, took care of us when we got sick, I think she has earned our trust, Andrea, don't you think?"

"Don't you think it kills me to see her go like this? I just wanted this to work for all of us! This is what we wanted, wasn't it? I don't know about you but I can't live another year out there, eating next to nothing and freeze at night and be scared of walkers twenty-four seven, I can't do that anymore, Cici, maybe it's because I'm older, but I can't."

"I would give anything to stay here or find somewhere like this but I know this place isn't safe, and I prefer to be out there than here and if you want to stay, then fine, stay, but I won't."

I just shook my head at here and walked past her, straight to our room. I left my bag on my bed as I kept trying to tell myself that this wasn't a mistake, that I was going to find peace of mind by going to that farm and that I will eventually find Michonne again and we will survive together.

A couple of hours later I walked out of my room and went to Chris' house. The big entertainment of the night was going to start in just fifteen minutes or so and I promised Chris I was going to go with him.

When he and his family were ready, Chris intertwined our arms together and I had no choice but allowed him to do it at first but as soon as we were out of the house I pretended I needed to tie my shoelaces and after I was done I kept my distance and whenever he tried to grab my hand or get my arm I just accelerated my pace or pointed at something to stop him. We headed to an arena that was on a place I had never been before, almost everyone was already there.

We got on the stands, in one of the rows of the front. I sat in between Chris and Wayne, who looked really excited about what was about to happen, there was even music here.

A few minutes later I spotted Andrea coming here with the Governor, arms linked. I stared at her in disbelief. It seemed like she had been comforted because her tears were now gone and replaced by a big smile. Traitor.

As soon as she found me in the crowd she avoided my gaze, while I kept looking at her with a disappointing look on my face. Instead of allowing her to ruin my night I refocused on Chris and his family, who were thrilled.

Soon after that, the show started. The lights in the arena were turned on, revealing six chained walkers. My eyes went wide with shock and I gasped, they were only a few feet away from me. I looked around me and all the people in here cheered louder when they saw them, even Chris whistled and kept clapping.

One of the men I saw back in the woods when they brought us here jumped into the stage and none other than Merle Dixon came through the other corner. They jumped around and waved at the people.

"Merle! Merle! Merle!" People cheered for him, while I said nothing, I was still in shock. Was this funny for them?

"I'm gonna kick his ass one-handed!" I could barely hear what Merle was saying, the people kept cheering for him, all I knew was that he started to do push-ups, doing a show for the people and they loved it.

I heard a whistle and the fight started. Merle kicked the other man in the jaw, making him fall to the ground. He stood up and Merle just kicked him again, he landed just in front of a walker, he crawled away quickly before it could get him.

"I want to go!" I exclaimed to Chris.

"What? Why?" Chris asked confused.

At that moment I heard another whistle and saw how the walkers were allowed to get closer to Merle and the other guy. Merle threw the other one to a walker, who had him in its grip and I panicked, thinking he was going to be bit or scratched.

I couldn't take it anymore, I started to walk away from there and out of the corner of my eyes I could see Andrea was as upset as me.

"Hey! Cici, wait! Where are you going?" Chris asked me, going after me. He grabbed my wrist and turned me around.

"This is sick, Chris!" I exclaimed as I jerked my hand away from his. "I can't watch this! You have no idea what I have been through out there, how can you guys have fun using those things?"

"They are controlled, no one here is in danger! It's just for fun! Chill!"

"I can't believe you are okay with this! This is barbaric!"

"Have some fun, Cici!"

As he said that I heard the cheers going louder and I saw why. The man was lying on the floor, Merle had his foot on his chest and his left arm was raised as he counted, "Uno, dos, tres!" and like that Merle won the fight.

"I can't find this funny, Chris, because those things killed and ate most of my father, one of those things bit my sister, making her turn, she was just twelve," I told him as tears threatened to fall down my face. "A friend of mine, Andrea's sister, got bitten in the neck and she turned as well. A herd of them made me get separated from my group, from my mother, from people I love and I almost died. They are dangerous and I think every person here is a fool and stupid."

I walked away before he could see the tears falling down my face. He called for me but I didn't even turn around to look at him or stopped to give him a chance to catch up with me. I just kept walking until I got to my room.

These people were crazy and sick and I would never support that kind of things. Who even came up with an idea like that? No wonder why the world was so fucked up before this.

I almost laughed as I imagined what Michonne would have done if she was here to witness that. She would have grabbed her sword, beheaded the six walkers and people would scream as they ran away like if she was the real threat there. It would be hilarious, though!

I had a hard time falling asleep that night but when I did, I dreamt with Michonne and how she would have killed those walkers and then go after the sick bastard that came with the idea and then go after the Governor.

The next morning I woke up quite early, even before Andrea. I changed, grabbed a banana and walked out of the room and I did just in time because I found Merle with three other men and they looked like if they going somewhere.

"Were you going to leave without me?" I asked, making him stop in his tracks.

"I got a mission," he said simply. "We'll go later."

"I could go with you and then head to the farm, it will be faster that way." He sighed.

"You can come but the Governor can't know and you do as I say, alright Blondie?"

"Alright."

I ran up the stairs to grab my packed bag, Andrea was still sleeping so I just walked out without saying a good-bye, not being sure if I was going to see her again.

As I followed Merle out of Woodbury, I heard the other guys asking Merle why the hell I came with them, they weren't happy with me around and they didn't even try to whisper it, assholes.

"She will just slow us down!"

"Seriously Merle, why did you even bring her along? We're not babysitters!"

"You have no idea how good she is with a gun," Merle told them. "And I assume she's with the knives as well. All of you would be dead before you could blink if she wanted to kill you."

 _Wow, thanks Merle._ I had no idea he thought so high of me and he was even stepping up for me, again.

As we walked further into the woods, I realized Merle and I were at the front and he was tracking something, the other guys just looked around us in case there was some kind of danger, but that's all they did besides following Merle.

"Where are we going?" I whispered after I looked behind me to make sure the other men were out of earshot.

"This is why I asked you not to go with that girl," he whispered back and that's when my blood froze.

"Are you – are you tracking her?"

"Yes."

As he said that we came across walkers' body parts. Someone had arranged them to make a message, a guy with curls deciphered it.

"Go back!"

"What?" Merle asked him.

"The arms are a G. The legs make an O and that's a back," the man said. "It says, "Go back."

Merle chuckled and clapped. "This is too good!"

I couldn't help but smile that she got my little warming, she wasn't a fool. She was going to be alright even if Merle was tracking her.

"Look at this!" Merle exclaimed. "She sent us a biter-gram, y'all!"

I couldn't help but chuckle at Merle, this was a serious situation, but come on! That was funny! Merle chuckled at his own joke and the other men couldn't help but smile or laugh as well.  
Then the curly guy said something, I wasn't even sure what but Merle ran to him, grabbed him by the collar and started to scold him really bad. I didn't even know what he did.

"Now how do you say your last name?" Merle asked.

"Gargulio."  
"Well, I'm gonna keep calling you Neil. All right?"

Then we heard twigs snapping and we saw a figure walking by, the guys took out their guns, I couldn't took out mine because as far as they knew, I didn't have any weapon on me.

"What's the deal, Michonne? Hmm?" Merle shouted. "You gonna leap out of the woods, one against four, all of us armed to the teeth and you with just your little pig-sticker? No, no, no, Michonne."

At that exact moment, Michonne jumped down a tree and landed between the Asian guy and the one with a bandana on his head. He beheaded the bandana guy first with a swift swing of her katana and then stabbed the Asian right in his stomach.

Curly guy looked like he was going to piss himself while Merle pointed his gun at her and shot at her. I ran to him and grabbed his arm as he was going to shot, making him miss. I was sure he would have shot her if I hadn't been there. I think it just grazed her, which was better than actually being shot.

"What the fuck, Blondie?"

"She's my friend, you bastard!" I screamed at him as he started to run after Michonne. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I have no choice, alright? Orders are orders and if you don't follow them, you end up dead! Okay? So now, get out of my fucking way!"

Merle ran after her and I admit he was really fast, it took me a lot of effort to keep up with him. After he couldn't find her, he went back for curly guy, who was an emotional wreck.

"She's hit! It will slow her down!" Merle announced.

"Merle, you don't have to do this, please!" I begged him, I then lowered my voice. "You care, Merle, you do! You wouldn't have warmed me about this if you didn't care! You'd be shooting me as well! She saved my life, please!"

"Like I said, if I don't do this I'll get killed! It's not personal, just that my life is my top priority not hers! Now let's get moving, those shots just pulled every biter in this area our way. We need to move, Neil!"

Curly man kept weeping over the bodies of the two other men, Merle just kicked him to the ground and put his foot on his chest. He was really pathetic to be honest.  
"Now you're gonna rise to the occasion, son. Some serious shit's going down. I need you here. You read me, amigo? I don't want you to die."  
"Yes," he whispered.  
Merle went to the Asian and stabbed him in the head so he wouldn't turn, they apparently had this rule that they don't let their own turn. Curly had a hard time to do it with the head of the other so I took the knife from him and did it myself.

"You can't be weak, you idiot!" I shouted and as I did I grabbed the knife tightly, having no intentions to give it back. Curly didn't notice but Merle did, he kept eyeing me but said nothing.

By now the farm and the group were long gone from my head. All I cared about was saving Michonne and that's why I stuck with Merle even longer. I couldn't track her, he could, and I was going to stop Merle if he tried anything else.

Merle stopped then, making us stop as well. I turned around and saw Michonne walking towards us, I nodded at her and didn't even move so Merle wouldn't hear her but of course he did. He turned around and pushed Curly out of the way just in time, the sword just made a little cut on his torso.  
Merle managed to make Michonne dropped her sword and he pushed her to the ground, Michonne kicked him to keep him away but he got on top of her. They were all panting on the ground, I was about to help Michonne up so we could escape when I heard moaning.

I turned around to see walkers, some going to Merle and Michonne, some to me and some to Curly. I raised my hand and killed the first walker using the knife I kept from earlier. I went to the next walker closer to me, kicked him to the ground and stabbed him right between its eyes. Luckily Merle and Curly were busy with more walkers, I grabbed Michonne's hand and pulled her along with me, running as far as we could from them.

Little did I know that Curly had grabbed Merle's gun and was pointing right at me as I ran away, Merle stopped him just on time, though, and luckily there were two more walkers they had to take care of, giving us time to escape.

Hello guys! I decided to update soon, I have a tournament this week so I won't have much time.

And I forgot to tell you about my dream last time, it's TWD related.

So we were still in a normal world, no walkers but we were all together and for some strange reason I was with Shane even when I didn't want to. I remember him kissing me on my dream and I was 'just stop already'. I wanted to be with Daryl and whenever we kissed, Daryl just looked at me with hurt in his eyes, so he liked me too. I don't remember much more than that though.

And Cecilia will reunite with the group soon! :D :D What do you think will happen! :D

And SPOILERS for the last episode

RICHONNE finally happened OMG OMG OMG, who is a Richonne fan here?


	23. Chapter 23 - I'm Back

"Every long separation is a test:

A test to see how powerful or how weak the will of reuniting is!"

― Mehmet Murat ildan

Michonne came to a stop next to a big and thick tree where she had hidden her backpack and it was then when I realized she was covered in guts and blood. It was extremely disgusting and she also smelt really bad.

"Are you hurt?" I asked in fear.

"No," she muttered. "I cut a walker in the stomach and everything fell on me."

"What about the shot?"

"It's nothing," she told me, dismissing me. "Why did just you come with me?"

"That was always the plan, wasn't it?" I said with a small smile and a shrug. "I just wanted to have my conscience clear, knowing that at least I tried to find them even when they just left me, but I was going to join you after that. You and Andrea are like my big sisters, I love you both and you saved me that day in the woods, how would I leave you? I'm not capable of that and you know that."

"I had my doubts for a second, especially when I saw you with Merle hunting me," she said with a shrug.

"I wasn't hunting you, I was..."

I was interrupted when Michonne made me go behind her as a group of walkers were coming right to us. She was getting her sword ready when she noticed the walkers didn't even pay attention to us, they just walked past us, completely ignoring us.

Michonne just looked down at her body and the next thing I knew was that she was hugging me or something close to that, when I finally reacted I just pushed her away.

"What the hell Michonne?" I exclaimed, looking at my now bloody clothes, I felt like throwing up.

"We smell of death now, we will go undetected from now on."

Of course, why didn't I think of that before? I had already 'disguised' myself with guts and blood of walker. That day I legitimately thought I was going to die in Atlanta but I made it.

Michonne and I walked through the woods in complete silence, except when she stopped to have a little break because of the shot wound, she kept saying she was okay but we needed to take care of that soon.

I was feeling a bit sad about how things turned out with Merle and that I wasn't going to the farm again but I accept that things happen for a reason and if me going there with Merle wasn't meant to be, then it wasn't. I was supposed to be with Michonne and wasn't going to lament what happened, I was just going to accept it.

"You will never imagine what you missed by leaving yesterday," I said, trying to break the awkward and long silence.

"What? Fireworks? A disco with posters of walkers?"

"A bit close, but no," I told her. "The big thing that was going to happen that night was something horrible. You wouldn't have sat on your ass and allowed those idiots to keep watching."

"What was it?" she curiously asked.

"There was an arena, they had six walkers chained and two people had to fight around them. You have no idea how people cheered and enjoyed that," I said, starting to get sick of my stomach.

"Those people probably think they are not just as dangerous and once Woodbury falls, they won't stand a chance."

"That's not even the point," I said as I dodged a branch. "How could they enjoy something like that? It was barbaric! It was something close to what happened in Rome all those years ago, except they didn't use lions but walkers."

"Humanity has always been barbaric and crazy and sick, as you just pointed out with Rome," Michonne told me. "It shouldn't surprise you that much."

Some hours later Michonne and I came across a bricked building, we had come into town. The building was probably a commercial one, back in the day, with little shops.

By now Michonne was limping really bad and she kept bleeding. I tried to put my arm around her but when I tried to lift my right arm it hurt so bad, I found it weird but I ignored it. I probably injured it when I was fighting the walkers or when I was struggling with Merle, maybe. It couldn't be that important. Michonne's wound was our priority now.

Cautiously, we walked to the front of the building and sure enough there were around seven shops, all closed now. There were abandoned cars in the parking lot and there was rubbish and dead leaves all over the place.

Suddenly we heard a car, Michonne and I hurried to hid behind one of the abandoned cars and seconds later we saw a red SUV coming from the opposite direction we did. The car stopped in front of one of the shops and I felt my heart beating faster, I couldn't trust people after Woodbury, what if these people kill us right away? Or what if they keep us hostage? My own group killed Randall all those months ago, no one trusted anyone anymore and no one could be trusted, everyone was dangerous. People just did what they had to do to survive and if that meant kill people, they didn't even hesitate to do it.

I saw two people getting out of the car, one went straight to a shop and opened the shutter of it, I could only see their backs at first but I could tell it was a girl and a guy.

"Glenn, take that duck!" I heard the girl saying and my heart skipped a bit. _Glenn._

Could it be really them? Glenn? I felt my lips curving into a big smile, thinking that I succeeded, that I actually stumbled upon them, without even really trying.

"Mich, I know these people," I told her with a big smile. "They are from my old group."

Michonne just stared at me like if I was hallucinating, she looked unsure on what to do now. I stared into her dark brown eyes and I silently pleaded to her to listen to me as we heard the two people, Glenn and who I could tell now was Maggie, discussing things.

"You really know them?" she asked in a voice I could barely hear and understand.

"Yeah, I do," I said, my smile never left my lips. "If Hershel is still around he could stitch your wound, he's a doctor – well, a vet actually, but just as good as a doctor. Come on!"

I pat Michonne's shoulder before standing straight and walking past her, I was about to yell to them and run towards them when I heard another voice, another too familiar voice and before I could react I felt a hand over my mouth, dragging me back behind the car.

"And where is it y'all good people are calling home?" none other than Merle Dixon shouted, that bastard tracked us and followed us here.

"Merle?" Glenn muttered in surprise as he and Maggie pointed their guns at Merle.

Apparently Merle hadn't recognized Glenn. He looked surprised and he started to laugh with a shocked expression. Then he lowered his gun, left it on the floor and lifted his hands, well hand and I guess, knife-hand in surrender and took a few steps towards them.

"Hey, back the hell up!" Maggie yelled.

"Okay, okay, honey. Jesus!" Merle exclaimed.  
"You made it," Glenn muttered in disbelief.  
"Can you tell me, is my brother alive? Huh?"

"Yeah," Glenn said and Merle wasn't the only one relieved to hear that. I found myself releasing a deep breath I hadn't realized I was holding, I was extremely happy Daryl was alive.  
"Hey, you, uh, take me to him and I'll call it even on everything that happened up there in Atlanta. No hard feelings. Huh? You like that?" Merle asked as he noticed Glenn eyeing where his hand should be but instead he had a knife. "Well, I found myself a medical supply warehouse, fixed it up myself, pretty cool, huh?"

"We'll tell Daryl you're here and he'll come out to meet you," Glenn told him.  
"Hold on. Just hold up! Hold up here! Hey, the fact that we found each other is a miracle!" I couldn't agree more with him, it was a miracle. Only hours ago the two of us were going to the farm to look for them and now after a not so unfortunate turn of events, we had found them. "Come on, now. You can trust me."

I hadn't really realized it but Michonne still had her hand over my mouth and had the other resting on my shoulder, holding me down in case I would just run to them. She knew me too well and it was probably well thought because seconds later Merle grabbed a second gun and pulled the trigger, I only heard glass shattering and screaming and I couldn't tell if one of them was injured or not.

I struggled against Michonne's grip, I even tried to scream but of course no sound came out of my mouth since Michonne was covering it. I tried so hard to break free but Michonne was so strong, even now that she was injured. I felt hot tears filling my eyes. I couldn't see anything anymore, Michonne had brought us both to the ground but I could still hear them.  
"Let go of her! Let go of her!" I heard Glenn shouting.

"Put it in the car, son. There you go! Now we're gonna go for a little drive."

"We're not going back to our camp," Glenn told him.

"No, we're going somewhere else. Get in the car, Glenn! You're driving!" Merle shouted.

The next thing I heard was doors being slammed and an engine roaring to life, then I heard the car being driven away. In all that time I didn't stop struggling and trying to go to help them and involuntarily crying as well.

"Come on!" Michonne said, finally letting go of me and standing up, she offered me her hand, which I took.

"They are my friends, Michonne!" I cried.

"I heard where they are, I think we can make it there."

As we started to walk, we found a basket filled with formula, batteries, other stuff and a duck. Michonne picked it up and walked on the road, where the car came from. I said nothing, I was devastated to see my friends so close to me and now they were gone and I did nothing to help them but at least I had a pretty good clue to where Merle took them.

Soon we saw a really big building surrounded by a fence, it was a prison. It was then I realized Glenn mentioned a prison. All this time I had no idea where we were going or what we were looking for, I was too shocked to think, I was just following Michonne.

Slowly we walked to the fence, the walkers around us did nothing, meaning that we still smelt like the dead, so that was our cue to keep going and venture ourselves further, where more walkers were against the fence, trying to break in.

As we walked closer to the fence I noticed a figure walking to us from the other side of it. I couldn't tell who it was at first but as all of us got closer I saw it was Rick. I felt new tears filling my eyes but these were from happiness and relief.

I was behind Michonne at first, so maybe that's why he couldn't see me properly, he just looked at Michonne at first but then I stepped to the side and I saw how Rick's jaw dropped. I wasn't going to speak and risk it, being around so many walkers so I just nodded at him in a way to let him now I was real, that I was actually here, in front of him. I remembered when Daryl found me in the woods and he thought I wasn't real. I wasn't going to let Rick leave me here because of something similar to that.

Seconds later Carl came running to us, he had they keys. He looked at me for a few seconds before composing himself. As they were opening the locks and the gates, Michonne touched her wound and a walker next to her smelt the blood. Soon all the walkers around us were attacking us.

I grabbed the knife that belonged to Curly and stabbed three walkers in the head quickly, Michonne was stabbing one in the stomach when I saw her fall. I ran to her side and tried to protect her. I grabbed her sword and cut the heads of two walkers but they were so many, we were cornered.

I tried to kill more as I heard two walkers fall to the ground right behind me, if someone hadn't shot them they would have gotten me.

Rick and Carl finally opened the last gate and walked out with their guns raised. They killed the closest ones as I stood by Michonne, killing the closest to us. Carl went to pick the basket when there were no more walkers close to him.

"Is she bit?" Hershel asked.

"No," I said quickly as Rick started to check her body. "She has a shot wound, that's it."

Rick nodded at me and picked her up, carrying her inside. Beth closed the gates quickly and locked them. Carl looked directly at me for a few seconds before he just turned around and kept walking to the prison building. But Beth, once she was done locking the gates, embraced me tightly. I hugged her back as tears fell down my face.

"I can't believe you are here, I can't believe you found us!" she exclaimed as she pulled away but didn't let me go, instead looked me straight in the eye, in a way to make sure it was me.

"Beth, Jesus! You are really here!" I muttered in disbelief. I really did find them.

"Oh my God, are you hurt?" Beth asked as she looked at my bloody clothes.

"No, it's from a walker. That's why the ones out there didn't attack us, we smell like them. Once in Atlanta, Rick, Glenn and I covered ourselves with guts and it worked, it camouflaged us!"

"What about that?" Beth asked as she pointed at my right arm.

I looked down at my biceps and saw that my sleeve was really bloody and there was blood running down my arm and as soon as I saw the wound I started to feel pain right there.

"It's nothing, we were attacked and apparently the bullet just grazed me!" I told her, putting a hand over the wound.

"Come on inside, my father can fix that!"

Beth happily led me inside the prison. She kept telling me how happy and relieved she was now that I had found them. She told me how hard it was to move on without me there, she even started crying as she told me that.

"Carl, get a blanket!" I heard Rick saying as he carried Michonne. "Beth, water and a towel!"  
Beth soon left my side as she hurried to get the things Rick asked for. Carl put a blanket on the floor and Rick laid Michonne there.

"She's not coming in the cell blocks!" Rick said sternly. "Who is she, Cecilia?"

"Her name is Michonne, she's a friend. She saved me! She's the reason why I am alive now," I told him quickly. "Rick, where is everybody else? Where is my mum?"

Beth, Carl, Hershel and Rick looked down at the ground first and then looked at each other sadly not knowing what to say to me and I instantly knew she was dead.

"Is she dead?" I asked even when I knew the answer. "Is she?"

"We got ambushed a few days ago, she didn't make it," Beth told me.

"A few days ago?" I exclaimed in disbelief. "Are you trying to tell me that if I had come here a few days earlier I would have seen her?"

No one said anything but I saw Beth nodding sadly. I felt like my whole world shattered beneath me, I felt the same pain I felt when Sophia died, I felt it all over again and even when I didn't noticed, tears were falling down my dirty cheeks.

If only we would have left Woodbury the next day we got there, maybe, just maybe, I would have been able to see my mother one last time. I suddenly felt like it was my fault I had come so late, even when it was possible that I would have never found them if I had left that day, because we were planning to go to the coast, not here. Merle made us come in this direction and luckily we came across Glenn and Maggie, but I wasn't thinking like that, I was just thinking about the fact that I got here a few days too late.

"I'm sorry," Rick whispered to me. I just nodded at him, wiping my tears.

"Where's everybody else?" I asked, my voice was a bit hoarse. "Teresa, Oliver, Sean? T-Do...?"

"Your friends are okay," Rick said quickly. "T-Dog also died that day."

"Oh my God, I'm sorry," I said, feeling new tears filling my eyes. I was never close to him, I think I only talked to him twice or thrice but I lived with him for about three months, of course that I felt sad about his death. "And Daryl?"

I was dying to know about him but I was scared of the answer, I didn't want to ask about him and be told he also had died but I was so anxious to know how he was and where he was if he was alive, Glenn said he was alive so I had my hopes high.

"Don't worry about him," Hershel told me, making relief swell over me but most of it didn't last long when I noticed Hershel only had one leg. "He's just a bit upset about the deaths, he must be around here."

"What happened to you?" I asked in utter shock, not caring if I was being rude by asking that and in such way.

"It's not important," he told me. "Let's concentrate on helping your friend now."

Michonne was barely conscious now but she kept fidgeting, she was really disorientated, I knelt next to her to calm her down.  
"Hey, hey, look at me," I muttered to her as I ran a hand on her head. "Look at me."  
It didn't really work. Michonne attempted to reach her sword but Rick acted quickly and kicked it away while I put my hands on her shoulders to keep her down on the floor.

"We're not going to hurt you unless you try something stupid first, all right?" Rick told her.

"Who the hell are these?" someone asked, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck standing up when I heard that voice.

I turned my head around to look behind me and there he was. Daryl. It took him a few seconds to realize who I was, I saw how his lips parted slightly and how his expression changed from anger and curiosity to surprise and disconcert. He was absolutely baffled.

I stood up then, I knew Rick could handle Michonne by himself, especially now that she was almost unconscious due to the blood loss. I took a few steps towards him and smiled big at him, whispering a 'hi' to him.

"You can touch me to make sure I'm as real as that time in the creek," I told him with a grin, referring to the time Daryl found me and he had to grip my shoulder to make sure I wasn't just a product of his imagination.

I stuck out my hand out to him, he looked at it weirdly for around ten seconds. I was about to drop it when he took it, but not to shake it. He pulled me to him and wrapped his arms tightly around my body, I was about to hug him back when he grabbed me by my shoulder, pulling me back a bit so he could look at my face, he leaned in closer to me, his eyes travelled to every corner of my face. Both my cheeks, my forehead, nose, lips but they lingered longer on my eyes.

I looked back at him, into his beautiful blue eyes. His face and those eyes were almost just a blur in my head but the feature I remembered the most about him were his eyes and his voice, I just couldn't forget how his voice sounded like.

"I'm real," I assured him with a smile. "I'm back."

Daryl still said nothing to me, he just pulled me back into his arms and we embraced each other. I missed this. I really did. I stopped thinking about him about three months after I last saw him because that way it would hurt less but I did miss him and it wasn't like I actually succeeded, I always thought of him and everyone else of this group.

"You're back." I heard him muttering. "You're alive."

"Why are you so surprise?" I asked with a cocky smirk. "You know I'm a survivor and I always make it back."

"I had my doubts but I can see it now," he said in a teasing voice.

Then I pulled away from him, even when I didn't want to. I felt so safe in his arms and I felt like I was at home but I had to think of Michonne now as well.

"Y'all come on in here," Daryl said.  
"Everything all right?" Rick asked him, standing up but never looking away from Michonne.

"You're gonna wanna see this," Daryl said and I could see he wanted to smile.  
"We'll keep this safe and sound," Rick said to Michonne, referring to her sword. "The doors are all locked. You'll be safe here. And we can treat that."  
"I didn't ask for your help," she muttered.

"Michonne," I said sadly.  
"Doesn't matter. Can't let you leave," Rick told her as he walked out of the room. Beth, Carl and Hershel had already left.

"Let's go," Daryl said to me, putting a hand around my shoulders to pull me along.

"What? Me too?"

"Especially you," he said with a grin.

"I'll be right back, okay? Hershel is the best, he will cure that wound, okay? Don't be afraid!" I told her before I let Daryl lead me out of the room.

He locked the door, leaving an angry, weak and confused Michonne inside. The others were waiting for Daryl, since they weren't sure where he was going to take us. Daryl got to the front to lead us, Carl was right behind me, I had noticed he hadn't said anything to me and I felt like he was avoiding me, so I lowered my pace and stayed in the back of the group with Beth.

Daryl led us to a place called the 'C Block', there were some cells in there, and I noticed it was pretty clean here. The first cell had a made bed and had some stuff around, the second was the same so I assumed this is where they sleep.

Daryl stopped right next to one of the last cells. It was Rick who looked inside first. I heard some movement inside and then Rick walked in.

"Oh, God. Thank God!" I heard Rick saying.

Beth and Hershel walked closer to the cell to have a better look and I could see how their lips formed really big smiles. Carl and Daryl were also smiling. I had no idea what was happening inside but it must be something really, really good.

"Come here," Daryl told me with a smile.

I looked at Daryl a bit unsure, but I took a few steps towards him. Carl was next to him, so as I approached Daryl, the boy just looked down at the ground, he was definitely avoiding me, I really needed to talk to him later.

When I was right in front of Daryl, he put an arm around my shoulders and turned me around so I could see what was happening inside the cell. I looked inside and at first all I saw was Rick, hugging someone. I could feel Daryl slightly pushing me forward, I glanced at him and he just signalled me to look ahead of me with a nod, so I did and soon after I felt how my mouth hung open in shock and for a moment I wondered if I was seeing things.

This couldn't be.

Hello! :D

QOTD: What do you think of the new character, 'Jesus'? His eyes are just ughhhhhh 3

What do you guys think of the reunion? I think it could have been better but there were other things going on, like Michonne losing consciousness, Glenn and Maggie getting abducted, Merle... all that.

And what do you think is the deal with Carl?

Also I think the link I posted to the video i made of Daryl and Cecilia doesn't work, can you guys tell me if it works or not?


	24. Chapter 24 - Needed You

"I may not have gone where I intended to go,

but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."  
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

I saw those eyes. The eyes I never thought I would see again, except on myself. Tears were falling out of them, down below her mouth, which was covered with both her hands.

"Mum?" I choked out.

I couldn't believe it. My mother was standing in front of me. She had blood on her forehead, she looked weak and she was dirty but she was alive, wasn't she? I really hoped I was not hallucinating. I turned to look at Rick to ask him why he told me she was dead but he just shrugged with a smile before I could ask, probably knowing what I was going to ask him.

It took us around a minute, but finally my mum walked towards me and hugged me tightly. It was probably harder for her to believe that I was here than what it was for me to believe she wasn't dead. I cried in her arms as I hugged her as tight as I could, I never thought I would miss her this much.

"Thank God!" she muttered. "Thank God!"  
"How?" Hershel asked, making us break apart.  
"She fought her way into a cell," Daryl said. "Must have passed out. Dehydrated."

It was then when Beth approached my mother, I noticed she was holding a baby and it was then all made sense in my head. They were looking for formula, Glenn and Maggie... oh shit, Glenn and Maggie, I have to tell them but I wasn't going to spill it, I needed to tell Rick alone, maybe Daryl and him.

I turned to look at my mum, she looked as surprised as I did when I saw the baby, she had a huge smile on her lips. I was going to hold the baby when my arm started to hurt again so I just dropped my arms and looked sadly at the baby, I had to wait, so I just ran my hand through the baby's small head.  
"I'm sorry," I heard her say, I looked up to see from the baby to her and I saw her crying and Rick was looking at the ground trying not to cry and in that moment I realized Lori was gone, she had died.

I turned to look at Carl and his blue eyes were filled with tears, even some of them were rolling down his face, he was biting his lips, trying not to cry but it was in vain.

"Carl," I muttered, taking a few steps towards him but he just shook his head at me and ran up the stairs.

"I have to talk to him," I told Rick. "But when I get back I need to tell you something."

"What about your wound?" Hershel asked.

"What wound?" Daryl exclaimed.

"It's nothing," I told him. "It can wait, Hershel. Michonne is worse than me, fix her up first. I will talk with Carl first and then Rick and then you can cure my wound, maybe that will give you enough time with her."

I walked up the stairs and looked inside every one of those cells. I found Carl in the very last one. He was sat on the floor, knees bent, head buried in them and his back against the grey wall. I leaned against the opposite wall and said his name, making him jerk his head up.

"I had no idea, I'm sorry."

"How could you know? You weren't here!" He wasn't excusing me, by his tone and the way he was telling me I could tell he was actually accusing me, he was extremely mad at me.

"Get it out," I told him. "It's not good to keep things inside." _If only I could follow that advice._

Carl stood up quickly and took two steps towards me. I took a deep breath to prepare myself to what Carl had to say to me.

"Can you imagine what we all went through this winter and all these months? It was a nightmare! It really was! We went days without eating, we couldn't stay in a place for more than two days, we barely survived the winter, it was so cold and some of us..."

"I went through all of that as well," I said quickly. "But you are not upset about that."

"You're right. I was all alone, you know? My parents either avoided or screamed at each other, my dad barely paid attention to me because he's always so busy being the leader and keeping everybody alive and my mum..." He had to make a small pause because some tears fell down his face and his voice broke but then he raised his voice when he started talking again. "I barely talked to her, she changed. I couldn't stand her. I don't know if it was because of the walkers or the baby, but she changed and I couldn't even talk to her, I felt so alone. You were supposed to be here! You promised! During all those months I needed someone to be by my side, someone to trust, someone to be there for me but you weren't!"

"I know, I'm so sorry!" I said, my eyes filling with tears.

"And then we got here and it seemed perfect, you know? But someone left a door opened, Maggie, my mum and I ran inside the prison. We got separated from the group and right in that moment she felt like it was time, you know? Time for the baby to be born, she was bleeding, something was wrong." He started to cry again and all I wanted was to hug him but I knew I couldn't, not yet. "Maggie – she had to cut her open. I still hear her screams inside my head."

"Car..."

"I shot her, Cici! I shot my mum!" I gasped at him and this time the tears did fall down my face. "I needed you! My mum died! That's why Sophia died! You left her when she needed you, just like you left me!"

I won't deny that hurt really, really bad and it made me cry even harder but I also understood he was mad and that he really didn't mean it.

"You weren't there when I needed you the most, do you get that? My mum died and my father went crazy for days, you have no idea what it was like! Cici, she's gone and it was on me! I had to shoot her or she would have turned! I had no other choice!"

"I'm sorry I wasn't here, I would give anything to change that!" I cried. "I wish I could have been here, I wish you didn't have to go through that, especially alone. I'm sorry you have to carry that weight but now I'm here and I'm not leaving again and I'm willing to take that weight from you, Carl. I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"I needed you!"

"I know and I feel extremely bad about it, you have no idea how bad and guilty I feel," I said, trying to stop my tears. "I thought every day of you, I prayed for you! You know how important you are to me, and I know that I broke my promise and that I wasn't here for eight long months but I'm here now and I promise that you will never feel alone again, okay?"

"How can I know you mean it?"

"You have to trust me."

Carl said nothing else, he just let himself drop back to the ground and went back to how I found him. I heard his sobs and I wasn't sure if I should leave him alone or sit right next to him. Bravely, I went to him and sat right next to Carl, I wrapped my arms around him and surprisingly he didn't push me away or shouted at me or nothing, he just let me comfort him and I just let him cry in my arms. He needed to vent, I let him do that, and now he needed to cry, so I was going to let him cry and I actually cried with him.

It really break my heart that this boy had been through so much and felt like he had no one, I did feel so guilty for not staying with him that night. It would have changed everything.

Minutes later I felt how Carl calm down, I wiped my own tears first and wiped Carl's then. His beautiful blue eyes were bloodshot and puffy.

"I have to talk to your dad, it's extremely important, but I will come back as soon as I can," I told him.

I let go of Carl and stood up, I stuck out my hand to him and once he took it, I pulled him up and led him to the bed. I kissed the top of his head and left the cell. I walked down the stairs and noticed only Beth and my mother were still there.

"They went with your friend," Beth told me before I could ask.

Beth stood up and led me to the cafeteria, where they had Michonne, when I saw Rick's expression I knew Michonne had told them Glenn and Maggie had been kidnapped.

"Is it true? She is saying the person that shot her took Glenn and Maggie, is it true?" Rick asked me and I nodded. "And she is saying she knows the way and that we can sneak in, is that right?"

"It's not that from here, we could take you there, I want to save Glenn as well. We have to be smart to sneak in, people guards every corner of that town but it's possible."

"Alright, we will go there as soon as possible," Rick said. "Did the same person shoot you too?"

"No," I said looking down at my arm. "We were being hunted by four men, one of them shot me."

"Hunted?" Daryl asked very surprised.

"It's a long story," I muttered. "I'll tell you but now we have to think about how to save Glenn and Maggie." Daryl nodded. "Rick, can I talk to you?"

"Sure."

Rick grabbed me by my good arm and pulled me out of the room, luckily Daryl didn't follow us. I took a deep breath before talking but Rick beat me to it.

"I'm sorry about what Carl said, I heard some of it, he was..."

"No, he needed to get it out. He is feeling that way and it's good that he told me. He will feel better," I said with a faint smile. "But that's not what I wanted to talk about, at least not now."

"About Glenn and Maggie? Why didn't you tell us?"

"Everything happened so quickly, first Michonne almost passed out, then I found out my mum was dead then that she wasn't and then Carl, I was going to tell you right now, I'm sorry, I should have told you since we were on the other side of the fence away from those walkers, I should have, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Cecilia, it's fine."

"I don't know how many should know this Rick but I know the person that shot Michonne and took Glenn and Maggie," I whispered, not wanting the others to hear. "It was Merle, Rick. He's alive, and he is a valuable member of that town. He asked them about Daryl, he probably took them to get information."

"Shit," Rick exclaimed, running his hand through his curly hair. "Merle, for real?"

"We were going to go to the farm to look for all of you, I offered to take him because I also wanted to make sure you hadn't come back but he and other men were after Michonne, I had to save her so I escaped."

"Why were they hunting her?"

"Once you go inside Woodbury you can't leave and if you leave they go after you and kill you, that town is not what it looks like," I said. "Michonne told me she found the National Guard vehicles in there, they had blood and bullet holes, the Governor and his men killed them all, Rick."

"In that case we must hurry to take them out of there."

"Cecilia!" I heard Hershel calling me. "Your turn!"

"Go," Rick told me. "I'll gather the rest so we can discuss what we can do."

"Rick, are Sean, Teresa and Oliver really okay? Because I haven't seen them yet and maybe you just wanted to protect me because of my mother and..."  
"They are all okay, I promise," Rick assured me. "They are just helping around, I'll send them here as soon as I see them."

I walked back into the cafeteria, I told Daryl Rick needed to talk to him, he nodded at me and left. I sat down in front of Hershel so he could cure my wound.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened to you?" I asked him as he started to clean the wound.

"It was during one of the first days here, we had already cleared out one block and outside. We ventured further inside, me, Glenn, Rick, Maggie, Daryl, we got separated. I was looking for Maggie, I walked too close to one that seemed dead, he bit my leg."

"You were bit?" I almost shouted at him.

"Yeah, you have no idea how much it hurt. Luckily Rick cut my leg and I woke up a few hours later, he saved my life. That day they found Oscar and Axel, they were convicts here but those two are part of the group now."

Hershel told me there were three other convicts in here and told me how each one of them died. He also told me lots of things that happened in the last eight months, he even told me they just found out my mother was alive, that it was not a sick joke or anything like that, they truly believed she had died.

"How long have you been here?" I asked.

"Only some days, can't be more than three weeks. You are extremely lucky to be here, to find us. It's a miracle."

"I'm sorry about your daughter, about Maggie," I said. "I promise I'll find her."

"Are you sure you want to go? The others won't like the idea of you going," Hershel said.

"Why not? From what I heard, Michonne is going and she is worse than me. I could have saved them Hershel, they were in front of me and I saw how they were taken, I owe them."

"If you had tried to help them you could be with them now or dead and we would have never know where they were taken. It wasn't your fault, Cici," he told me. "What I tried to say before was that they won't want you to go because you just got here, we all missed you, we all thought you were dead. Look at Carl for example, he may not say it but he would hate it if you go."

"But he has to unders... Ouch!"

I had never been stitched, not before or after it all happened, at least not when conscious, and let me tell you, it hurts and it's uncomfortable. Michonne just kept rolling her eyes at me every time I whined.

After Hershel was done with the stitches Beth gave me some of her clothes so I could change, I told her I would change later because I would get them dirty anyway but she insisted and she also made me to have a quick shower to get all the walker guts off of me.

"You are not going, are you?" Beth asked me.

"I have to, Beth, I know where they have them."

"That woman knows too, why can't you stay while she goes?"

"I have to save Glenn and Maggie," I told her. "Besides they trust me, they don't trust her. I need to go."

"Rick, Daryl and Oscar are going, what if you don't come back?"

"I always do," I said cockily but unfortunately I didn't get Beth to smile, so I sighed in defeat. "I have to go, I..."

I was interrupted when I heard a female voice a few feet away. I turned around and saw Teresa, Oliver and Sean, they all looked so different from the last time I saw them. Oliver had longish hair now, it reached his chin and it was slightly wavy, Sean had always had long hair but now it was even longer, and now it seemed like he had lost some of the muscle he had. Teresa was extremely thin and had cut her brown hair to chin length, it actually suited her.

Sean was the first to see me, he gasped at me and after he reacted he ran to me and gave a me big hug, followed closely by Oliver and Teresa.

"Cici? Oh my God! I can't believe it!" Oliver said with tears in his dark blue eyes.

"They told us they had a surprise for us," Teresa told me, she was crying as well. "I thought maybe more clothes or food, or weapons but not you, oh my God! Are you real?"

"I'm real," I said chuckling. "I'm as real as all of you."

"How did you get here?" Sean asked me.

"Pure luck," I said. "I'll tell you the story when I come back."

"Come back?" Teresa asked me. "But you just got here, you can't leave!"

"I already argued with Beth don't make me argue with you as well."

Before anyone else could tell me I couldn't or shouldn't go, I got inside the car in the passenger seat so I could see the road better and give the directions to Rick, speaking of whom, I saw him talking to Carl through the rear mirror, it seemed like Rick heard what Carl said about feeling alone and he was making an effort to make it up to him, I was so concentrated on watching them that I didn't notice someone had opened the door of the car.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Waiting for all of you," I said in a duh tone.

"You are injured," he told me, giving me a look. "You ain't going."

"It's nothing, Daryl. I already argued with Hershel, Beth, Sean, Teresa, Oliver and I won't argue with anyone else, I'm going and it's final."

"Why are you so stubborn, Peletier?"

"Don't call me that, Dixon. It reminds me of my father," I said with a shake of my head.

Turned out everyone was against me going and I did argue with everyone, Daryl, Rick, even the two convicts that I didn't even know. But none of them managed to get me out of the car, I told them I could take care of myself, I did exactly that the last eight months and obviously succeeded, so they should just stop treating me like if I was a porcelain doll.

"Well, in that case," Daryl said to me, referring to me going back to Woodbury. "You'll have to carry me all the way there."

I wasn't sure what he meant until he sat on me, damn, he was heavy. I tried to get him off of me but there was no way, he even leant on me, almost squashing me. I tried to push him off but I couldn't.

"Daryl, she needs to breath," Rick told him as he got on the driver's seat. "I'm serious, move!"

He stopped leaning on me but he kept sat on my legs. Eventually we exchanged places, he sat on the seat and I sat on him, he wrapped his arms around my waist as I leaned on him like he had done with me minutes ago, and actually, he was quite comfortable so that was our position for most of the ride.

Sean, Michonne and Oscar, one of the convicts, came as well, Michonne went in between them, who were watching her as hawks. She also was helping to give the directions to Rick and tried to ignore Sean and Oscar. Eventually Michonne told Rick to stop the car, we were around two miles away from Woodbury.

"They have patrols," Michonne said as we got out of the car . "We're better off on foot."  
"How far? Night's coming," Rick said as he looked up at the sky.  
"It's a mile, maybe two," I told him.

All of us got our things from the trunk, I got two guns and a knife, Rick gave them to me, so I left my own weapons back at the prison, I probably only had a couple of bullets left so it would have been of no use.

"Stay close to me," Daryl said, but it seemed more like an order than an advice, I only nodded at him and did as he told me. I actually walked in between Daryl and Rick, while Michonne was ahead of us with Oscar and Sean.  
"I know, what you did for me, for my baby, while I was working things out... thank you," Rick said to Daryl. So what Carl said was true, Rick really went a bit crazy.  
"It's what we do," Daryl told him with a small shrug like it wasn't a big deal.  
As we kept walking through the woods, I started to hear moaning and apparently I wasn't the only one to hear it, Daryl did too.

"Down!"

We all crouched to not be seen but it was no use, there were at least ten walkers coming our way. I stood up and grabbed my knife.  
"Get in formation. No gunfire!" Rick ordered as he grabbed a big knife and killed the first walker.  
Oscar, Daryl, Rick, Michonne and I killed walker after walker but more kept coming, by now there were probably thirty of them coming from every corner.  
"There's too many of them!" Daryl exclaimed.  
"This way!" Rick said loudly, walking away from them. I was right behind him, in front of Daryl, while Oscar and Michonne were behind Daryl and Sean was in the very back.

As we ran we saw a small wooden house, or at least I think it was a house. We ran to it and got inside quickly. The first thing I noticed was a horrible smell, I couldn't help but cover my nose with my hand.  
"What's that smell?" I muttered.

We walked further into the house, checking it and we saw a dead animal, as we got closer to it we noticed it was a dog.  
"I guess Lassie went home," Daryl muttered.

By now the walkers had caught up with us, they were outside, banging on the door and walls, trying to get in. Rick and Daryl slowly approached the bed, it seemed like something was under the cover, which Rick grabbed quickly and I never expected to see that under it. It was a man. And he was armed.

"Who the hell are you?" the man shouted.

"We don't mean any harm," Rick whispered.  
"Get outta my house!"

"Okay, okay. We will, but we can't right now," Rick said, keeping his voice down.  
"Now!"

"Shut him up," Michonne muttered.  
"I'll call the cops!" If there weren't about two or three dozens of walkers trying to get inside to eat us I would have laughed at the man.

"I am a cop. Now I need you to lower the gun. Don't do anything rash. Everything is fine. Let's just – let's just take this nice and slow, okay? Look at me," Rick said, trying to get the man to calm down.  
"Show me your badge," the man exclaimed, pointing his rifle right at Rick's face, who had his hand up in surrender.

"It's in my pocket. Now, I'm just gonna reach down nice and slow," Rick said, starting to lower his hands, and then he suddenly pushed the weapon out of the man's hand and Rick grabbed him quickly while I grabbed the rifle.  
"Let go! Let go of me! I'll kill you! You let go of me!"

"Shut up! Shut up!"

Somehow the man got free of Rick's grip and ran towards the door, asking for help but before he could reach the door, Michonne stabbed him close to his shoulder and she just looked at us with a 'why-the-hell-didn't-you-do-it-earlier expression.

Oscar and I checked the back door, it was clear. Rick, Sean and Daryl grabbed the man by each side of him and when Michonne opened the door, they threw him to the walkers so we could have a chance to escape. I was the first to go out, followed by Michonne, who was limping. We passed the front of the house and luckily all the walkers were focused on the man and none of them saw us as we ran away.

QOTD: If you were part of the group, who would be your best friend?

And finally Carl confessed what it was bothering him, what do you think about that?

I have nothing to say today but I hope you enjoy the chapter and please comment :)


	25. Chapter 25 - Rescue Mission

"There are moments of frustration in life. You must build good relations to support you in these moments.

You must also learn to courage yourself and decide to stay determined in life."

– Lailah Gifty Akita, Think Great: Be Great!

It was not until it was already dark when we reached the gate of Woodbury, luckily we didn't run into more walkers or even Merle or any of those guys. As usual, there were at least three men patrolling on the scaffold.

We hid behind a car as we tried to come up with a plan to get inside. We had spent a while there, thinking how we could get in when Michonne suddenly just walked away. I tried to call for her but she didn't listen, she just left.

"Damn it!" Rick exclaimed.

We all gathered closer, whispering to each other, sharing our ideas when we heard branches snapping. We all raised our weapons but it was just Michonne who signalled us to follow her. I was the first to do so, followed by Daryl, his left hand kept rubbing against my right one but I ignored it, I had other things to worry about.

I don't know how Michonne did it but she found a wall we could climb. Michonne climbed first, I was going to follow her when Daryl stopped me and climbed before me, I just rolled my eyes and went up the wall by my own even when Sean offered to help me, on the other side Daryl grabbed me by my waist and helped me get down. I knew he climbed first to help me get down and also because he didn't trust Michonne.

"Thanks but I can do it," I told him.

Daryl said nothing to me but I could tell he wanted to. I noticed we weren't out in the streets but inside a patio of a house. Cautiously, we all went inside the house, which was dark and luckily empty.

"This is where you were held?" Rick asked Michonne.

"I was questioned."  
"Any idea where else they could be?"

Daryl kept walking to the front of the door, he moved the curtain a bit so he could look out and there were a few people outside.

"I thought you said there was a curfew," Daryl said to Michonne angrily.  
"The street is packed during the day. Those are stragglers."  
"If anyone comes in here, we're sitting ducks. We gotta move," Rick said.  
"They could be in his apartment," Michonne told them.  
"Yeah? What if they ain't?" Daryl rudely exclaimed.

"Then we'll look somewhere else," I told him, trying to stop the argument.  
"You said you could help us," Rick said to her.  
"I'm doing what I can!" Michonne said.  
"Then where in the hell are they?" Oscar asked.

I was going to tell them that we had some ideas where they could be but couldn't be sure if they were actually there when Rick called Oscar, Sean and Daryl, leaving me with Michonne. I knew they didn't trust her and that they were talking about her but they knew me, they trusted me, why can't they trust someone I trust?

While they were whispering a few feet away from us, there was a knock on the door. I froze in my place but luckily Michonne pulled me with her and all of us hid behind a wall just in time.

"I know you're in here," a man exclaimed as he stepped inside. "I saw you moving from outside. You're not supposed to be in here and you know it. Who's in here?"

As he walked right in front of us, Rick ambushed him, pinned him against the wall and pointed at him with a gun.  
"Get on your knees." he exclaimed. "Hands behind your back. Zip tie him," he said to Daryl. "Where are our people?"

"I don't know."  
"You are holding some of our people. Where the hell are they?" Rick asked the man as he grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

"I don't know!"

Then Rick put a piece of fabric inside the man's mouth and seconds later Daryl hit him in the head with his crossbow, he was out. It was then that I realized it was Chris' father. I actually felt bad for him but it was necessary.

Only a couple of seconds later we heard several shotguns and people screaming outside. We decided it was out chance, so the six of us walked of that place and into the streets with our guns raised.

We walked to where the gunshots were coming from, Rick on the lead, then me and then Daryl. We got to a very bad looking warehouse. It was dark, dirty and it was mostly made with plastic sidings. We hid behind a wall made by those and we could hear a man, I think it was Merle but I couldn't be sure.

"On your feet, move!" we heard another man saying. "Let's go, come on!"  
"Shit!" some of us, including me exclaimed.

The six of us got our weapons ready again, Rick and Daryl got smoke grenades out of the bag and threw them, while we ran out. We heard many people screaming for a few seconds before Rick, Sean and Daryl walked back inside, while the rest of us stayed by the door to keep guard.  
I looked behind me and saw them with Glenn and Maggie, I was happy to see them but Glenn looked really bad. As we walked through the street, with Rick helping Glenn to walk, we were extremely lucky we didn't bump into anyone. We found a place that seemed empty and ran inside. Glenn fell as soon as we stepped in and Maggie knelt next to him, followed by me.

"Glenn, oh my God, what did they do to you?"

"I thought I saw you but I assumed I was beaten so bad that I was just seeing things," he muttered. "I'm still not sure, though."

"No, I'm back Glenn," I said smiling.

"Ain't no way out back here!" I heard Rick saying. Damn, we are trapped.  
"Rick, how did you find us?" Maggie asked.

"How bad are you hurt?" Rick asked Glenn, ignoring Maggie's question.

"I'll be all right."  
"Where's that woman?" Maggie asked and it was then that I realized Michonne was gone.

"She was right behind us," I said.

I wondered if she was shot and injured or she was just being herself and ran somewhere else, probably to get to the Governor or to Andrea.  
"Want me to go look for her?" Oscar asked Rick.

"No. We gotta get them out of here. She's on her own!"  
"Daryl!" Glenn exclaimed, earning everyone's attention. "This was Merle. It was. He did this."

I closed my eyes tightly as I felt chills going up and down my spine. I knew it wasn't fair to keep it from Daryl but I knew I had to keep him safe. He wouldn't be objective with that kind of information.  
"You saw him?" Daryl asked Glenn.

"Face to face. He threw a walker at me."

"He did what?" I asked in disbelief.  
"He was going to execute us!"  
"S-So my brother's this governor?"

"No, it's somebody else," Maggie said. "Your brother's his lieutenant or something."

Daryl looked from Maggie and Glenn to me very quickly, and he didn't look happy at all. He grabbed my arm and pulled me up quite forcefully.

"You knew about this?" he almost shouted at me. He looked right into my eyes and his were now almost black and showed nothing kind in them, I was truly scared."You said you had been here! That woman said the same person that took them was the one that shot her! Did you know Cecilia?"

"Yeah," I chocked out, not being able to lie to him.

"You fucking did? And you didn't tell me? What the hell Cecilia? He's my brother and you know how much he means to me, how could you hide this from me?" he asked me in, he lowered his voice but he wasn't more calm, I could actually sense the disappointment in his voice and his eyes, it almost broke me.

"I didn't want to keep it from you, alright?" I said, raising my voice a bit. "I – I... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"It isn't her fault," Rick said, making Daryl let go of me. "She told me and I thought it wasn't the right thing to tell you. I'm sorry. But I knew you could have made something stupid if we said anything. I told her not to tell you."

I stared at Rick in disbelief but also in a grateful way. Did he just lie to save my ass? We came to the conclusion to not tell Daryl but he never ordered me to not say anything. Daryl just scoffed and turned to look at Maggie and Glenn again.

"Does he know I'm still with you?"

"He does now," Glenn said. "Rick, I'm sorry. We told him where the prison was. We couldn't hold out."  
"Don't!" Rick exclaimed as he knelt next to Glenn and patted his leg. "No need to apologize. Can you walk? We got a car a few miles out."  
"I'm good," Glenn said even when he looked like shit. Rick and Sean helped Glenn up.  
"Hey, if Merle's around, I need to see him!" Daryl exclaimed, and that's why I didn't want to tell him yet.  
"Not now," Rick told him. We're in hostile territory."  
"He's my brother! I ain't..."

"Look at what he did!" Rick exclaimed quickly. "Look, we gotta – we gotta get out of here now."  
"Maybe I can talk to him. Maybe I can work something out."  
"No, no. You're not thinking straight. Look, no matter what they say, they're hurt. Glenn can barely walk," Rick said, lowering his voice so Glenn and Maggie couldn't hear him. "How are we gonna make it out if we get overrun by walkers and this governor catches up to us? I need you. Are you with me?"

It took Daryl a few seconds to reply but he sadly nodded and muttered a 'yeah', to Rick. He nodded at Daryl and then we all gathered around to grab some weapons, more smoke grenades and we planned how to get out of here.

"On three. Stay tight," Rick told us. "One, two, three."

Rick opened the door and Daryl threw one of the smoke grenades first and then a second one. We walked out with our guns raised. We heard shotguns and saw the men on the scaffold shooting at us. I wasn't that good shooter when I run but I managed to shoot one of them but I couldn't hit the others. Luckily Rick shot one and Daryl shot the other.  
"Behind you!" Daryl shouted as he pushed me out of the way and started to shoot. "Go! Go!"

"But Da..."

"Just fucking go, Cecilia!"

I saw Bowman, pointing his gun at me. I jumped out just in time. I rolled over and stood up quickly, running away and hiding behind a trash can. I raised my gun again, narrowed my eyes and shot. I don't know how but I hit one of the men in the arm, he fell hard from a roof, he probably died from the fall, I was going to shoot another one when I felt a hand on my arm, pulling me up with them.

"Let's go!" It was Sean.

"But Daryl! I have to help him!"

"We need to go!" Sean shouted as he didn't let go of me even when I kept struggling to break free.  
Somehow we caught up with the group, people were shooting at us and there was smoke everywhere, it was a complete chaos. As we hid behind a wall, I noticed Daryl was with us. I felt so relieved he was alright. I was tempted to hug him but now wasn't the time.  
"Any grenades left?" Rick asked, Daryl nodded as he looked inside the bag. "Get 'em ready. We gotta gun into the wall."  
"You guys go ahead," Daryl told us. "I'm gonna lay down some cover fire."  
"No, we gotta stay together!" Maggie shouted at him before I could.  
"I'll be right behind you!" he said, glancing at me quickly before looking down and grabbing more ammo. "Ready?"

Before I could tell him how stupid his plan was he threw a grenade and I was pulled by the arm by Sean, I think.

"Move! Let's get out of here! Come on!" I heard people saying but I wasn't sure who was saying it, maybe Rick. "Keep going! This way!"

We got to the end of Woodbury where conveniently there were some buses. Oscar was the first to climb on the hood of the bus to help. He pulled Glenn up as Sean pushed him up. I climbed too, I was going to get over the fence first to help Glenn on the other side, and right when I landed on the other side I heard a gunshot and screams, someone was shot.

I felt like an eternity passed until Glenn finally moved and got his feet on the other side of the fence, I grabbed him by his feet while Sean grabbed him by his arm and together we got him on the ground, I put my arm around Glenn and helped him walked some feet away from there, we needed to hide while we waited for the others. Maggie was helped by Sean and then he jumped but not before calling for Rick. Rick also jumped, joining us.

We didn't go all the way back to our car, we just went right to the front of Woodbury, behind the car we hid earlier tonight. All I noticed on our way there was that Daryl nor Oscar were there, I wanted to go back but Rick told me we were all going back but that I needed to help Glenn now. I had gotten hysterical but Rick managed to calm me down a bit when he assured me Daryl wasn't the one getting shot, which made me a little bit calmed, but just a bit.

"Get down," Rick ordered.

"Come on, Daryl" Rick exclaimed and in that moment we heard a noise behind us. We turned around quickly, it could be a walker, Daryl or a person or more that wanted to kill us . But it wasn't any of those option, it was Michonne.

Rick stood up quickly, walked to her with his gun pointed at her. Michonne just crawled out of the unusable wagon that was behind us.  
"Where the hell were you?" Rick whispered-shouted at her. "Put your hands up! Turn around!"  
Michonne slowly turned around and when she did, Rick took her katana, never stopping pointing his gun at her. Michonne, still with her hands up in surrender, leant against the wagon, defenceless.  
"Get what you came for?" Rick asked her as he finally dropped his hand to his side but Sean and Maggie were pointing their guns at her now.

"Where are the rest of your people?" Michonne asked instead.

"They got Oscar," Glenn said, who now was standing up.  
"Daryl is missing," I told her at the verge of tears. "Didn't you see him?" She just shook her head.

"If anything happens to him..."

"I brought you here to save them," Michonne said, interrupting Rick.  
"Thanks for the help." By his tone I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or not, his anger probably overshadowed the sarcasm.  
"You'll need help to get them back to the prison or to go back in there for Daryl. Either way, you need me."

"Rick, please, she's right. We need her," I said to Rick, trying to help her. "Please, I trust her, Rick! I do!"

Rick took a deep breath and ran his hand through his curly hair, trying to decide what to do. I only looked sadly at Michonne and shook my head at her and giving her a look, kind of like silently scolding her. Where had she gone? Why did she just leave? We were in this together, weren't we? And now Daryl was gone and I had no idea if he was okay or injured, or captured, or just hidden or … or dead.

As I was thinking that, Rick grabbed me by my arm and pulled me away from the others. It was hurting me because my stitches were right there but I said nothing, I bit my lip and just looked back at Rick, wondering what he wanted to tell me, even when I had a clue what it was about. Finally Rick seemed to realize he was hurting me and let go of me and looked at me in a apologetic way, and then he put his hand on my left shoulder.

"You may trust her but I don't know her, Cecilia. I don't. And so far she hasn't done much to earn my trust, where the hell was she, Cici? She could have caused the death of more of us, do you realize that?" he whispered to me in an angry tone, I just nodded at him. "Daryl is missing, and she's right, I hate that she is right but I need her now and won't do anything to her but she has to help us, alright?"

"Yeah," I said nodding.

I walked to Michonne with a frown on my face. Rick and the others trusted me but they didn't trust Michonne and they didn't give a damn about her, if they thought she was a threat they would kill her without a second thought, just like they wanted to get rid of Randall all those months ago or how Rick killed Shane, they wouldn't even hesitate to do it.

"Michonne, you have to collaborate, alright?" I said to her. "If Rick says go right you do it, if he says stay put, you do it. If he says jump you fucking do it because they don't know you as I know you and they might think you are a threat to them and I don't want anything to happen to you, do you understand?"

Michonne said nothing to me, nothing, but she nodded, eventually. I knew she felt so powerless in this situation but she did that to her, she could have stayed with the group and things wouldn't be so complicated now.

By now, Rick ordered Sean, Maggie and Glenn to lower their guns. They hesitantly did it, Glenn sat down and leant his back against the car, Maggie sat next to him asking him how he was feeling and Sean just kept intensively staring at us, as Rick kept pacing, trying to think of something.

"The man that is missing," Michonne whispered to me. "He's the one that Andrea used to talk about, right? The one that she tried to make you confess your feelings for, right?"

"Does it matter?" I asked her sadly.

"It matters everything."

I said nothing for a while but I nodded. "Yeah, he's the one Andrea talked about the first months. I never thought I would see him again, I never thought you would get to meet him."

"I like him... when he's not trying to shoot an arrow to my head."

"What are you trying to say?"

"That I approve," she told me, I just looked confused at her.

"What?"

"I could see why Andrea wanted you to confess even when it is kind of obvious."

"The two of you are crazy," I whispered to her, looking around me, making sure none of them heard. "There's nothing to confess! And even if it were, right now is not the right time! He's in there and who knows in what condition he is. He might be alive because of Merle but who knows? If I like him or not, it doesn't matter now, all that matters is that we save him."

"And we will."

"And we will," I repeated.

Michonne put an arm on my shoulder, trying to comfort me. Whether I liked him or not, I cared about him so much and I was beyond worried about him. I wanted to do something, now! We were losing time.

"Alright, listen!" Rick said as he walked to us, and we all gathered around in a circle. "Glenn, you have to go to the car."

"Rick, I want to hel...!"

"No time to argue! You can barely walk! You will just slow us down, I'm sorry but it's true! You might get killed in there and we didn't come all the way here to lose you like that!" Rick told him sternly. "Okay?"

"Okay," Glenn muttered, not being happy with that.

"Cecilia, you will go with him to keep him safe," Rick told me.

"What?" I asked in disbelief. "You can't get me out of the mission like that!"

"You are injured!"

"Yeah, on the right arm, I'm a lefty, Rick! And if I remember correctly I shot just fine in there minutes ago and I hit two men! I'm good, I can run, I can shoot!" I exclaimed. "And you have to let me do this for Daryl! He risked his life for me all those months ago and he found me! I think it's just fair that I do the same for him now, you can't stop me from doing this!"

Rick just took a deep breath, he knew that no matter what he said I wasn't going to go with Glenn, I love Glenn and a lot but he didn't need me now. And I felt a strong need to do this for Daryl and for me, I wanted to help him in a similar way he helped me.

"Alright, you'll come with us but your friend has to take Glenn safely back to the car, she's injured as well and on the leg."

"Okay," Michonne said nodding.

"Sean, Cici, Maggie and I will go inside, climb a wall, maybe the same wall as earlier and go in."

It was not until then, until I spoke it aloud that it finally dawned on me. I had killed more than one hundred walkers, probably more than a thousand by now, who knows. Those, weren't people anymore, they were dead, and I admit it was hard the first time I killed one, it was hard the first time I killed one with a knife back in the woods when I got lost, it was hard the first time I had to kill a walker that couldn't be more than ten years old when he was alive. But I got over it and I kept killing more without any feeling or regret or remorse, I had to do it to survive, it was them or me.

And what I did tonight I did it to survive as well and I didn't give it to much thought about it until now. I didn't even realize what I did until this very moment. I was just so into what was happening that I just kept going but now that I said that I shot and most likely killed two men was almost painful to think and remember.

I was a killer, I was a murderer. Yeah, I did it so they couldn't kill me, you could say it was on self-defence but that didn't make it any better. That didn't change the fact that I pointed my gun at them, pulled the trigger and they were dead now.

I never thought of myself as a person who would actually kill someone, I thought I was unable to take someone's life but I did that.

And what worried me the most was that I after I did it, I felt nothing. No remorse, no guilt, no regret, not even shock, no nothing. I just wanted to keep going and if possible kill more to keep me and my friends safe. I didn't think of what I was doing, I just did it.

I knew the circumstances were hard and unpredictable and I had no choice but do it, for my life and theirs. I had to. But I couldn't help but realize that this world, this new reality was making us all different, it was making me cold in a way I never thought I would and it scared me. What if I got so cold I wouldn't be able to come back from that?

"Hey, you okay?" Glenn asked me, as he looked at me.

His face was a complete mess. He had a black eye and it was even closed from the beating he got, his lips were swollen and he kept spitting blood every once in a while. As I looked at him my blood boiled! He was innocent, why would Merle do something like this?

"I'm just worried," I told him.

"If he's alive, they won't beat him like they did to me, Merle won't let that happen to him."

"What if Merle doesn't have as much power as we think? What if they punish Daryl for breaking in and killing their people? Or just torture him for more information?"

"I'm almost sure they won't do that to him, not with Merle there."

"What if they get Merle out of the picture as well?"

After that we said nothing, I knew what kind of people they were and if Merle was in the way, the Governor would just get rid of him. I knew that.

"We have to hurry," I said a bit louder, so everyone could listen to me. "We're wasting time, come on!"

Michonne and Glenn walked away, Glenn had a gun raised and Michonne was ready to grab her sword at any moment. I was sure Glenn was scared of her but she wouldn't do anything to him, if he didn't do anything to her.

Sean, Maggie, Rick and I grabbed our weapons and headed to the side of the town, looking for a nice place where we could climb.

 _Daryl, hang on! I'm coming for you, I'm not giving up on you. I'm not._

Hello guys, what are you doing for Easter?

QOTD: What do you think of Cecilia so far?


	26. Chapter 26 - Shattered Heart

"She wanted to lose herself in him. To tie his arms around her like a tourniquet.

If she showed him how much she needed him, he'd run away."

– Rainbow Rowell, Eleanor & Park

Once inside, we noticed there was not a single soul in the streets. The men on the scaffold were very far away so they couldn't spot us.

I wondered where everybody could be and I instantly thought about the place where Merle thought another man as walkers surrounded them, the arena.

I led the others to that part of Woodbury and as we came closer we could hear the Governor speaking to the people. But of course he would give a hypocritical speech as usual. I almost rolled my eyes as I heard his voice.

"I should tell you that we'll be okay, that we're safe, that tomorrow we'll bury our dead and endure, but I- I won't, because I can't."  
As the Governor spoke we sneaked further in, luckily the lights didn't reach this far and we weren't seen, we hid behind some big containers and waited for the best opportunity to get Daryl.

"I'm afraid of terrorists who want what we have. Want to destroy us! And worse because one of those terrorists is one of our own. Merle!"

I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard his name, I turned to look at him in the crowd and when I found him I saw a man had a rifle against his back and another was taking his knife away from him. Merle looked shock and betrayed. I guess I was right, Merle was in the way and the Governor was going to get rid of him. And it was then when I realized the Governor had a bandage over his right eye, I saw it before but it was like my brain finally processed that information, I also noticed that it was slowly becoming soaked with his blood.

"The man I counted on, the man I trusted. He led 'em here and he let 'em in. It was you," he exclaimed as he pointed a finger at Merle. "You lied, betrayed us all."

Then I saw two men, dragging another one to the arena. He had a bag over his face but I could only assume it was Daryl and when I saw the man's leather vest with those wings on the back, there was no doubt it was Daryl. He was in deep problems but at least he was alive and I was going to try everything to save him.  
"This is one of the terrorists!" the Governor exclaimed as the men dragged Daryl almost to where the lights were, so everyone could see him. The Governor grabbed him by his arm and pulled the bag off of him, revealing his face. "Merle's own brother."

Everyone gasped in disbelief, but the one that was most shocked was Merle. He was staring at Daryl like he couldn't believe Daryl was right there. Daryl didn't looked as shocked to see him, he looked confused and helpless. He knew that it was next to impossible to get out of this one but he didn't know we were inside, trying to save him.

"What should we do with them, huh?"

"Kill them!"

"What? What you want?"

"Kill them! Kill them!" everyone shouted, I even spotted Chris, Amanda and Wayne in the crowd. They were also shouting it. "Kill them now!"

"You wanted your brother," the Governor said to Merle after he walked to him. "Now you got him."

The people kept shouting 'kill them' for several minutes, it was crazy. How could they even want that?

"I asked you where your loyalties lie. You said here. Well, prove it. Prove it to us all. Brother against brother." I shuddered when I heard that. "Winner goes free. Fight to the death!"  
"Y'all know me! I'm gonna do whatever I got to do to prove..." Merle said as he punched Daryl making him fall to the ground, Rick had to put a hand on my shoulder to remind me I couldn't run to save him. "That my loyalty...!" now he kicked Daryl. "Is to this town!"

Great, and now they were bringing walkers with snare poles, just great. Great...not. It was then when Daryl finally reacted and punched Merle.

"We have to do something Rick!" I whispered to him.

When I turned around again I saw Daryl had his hands around Merle's neck, suffocating him and then they were both on their feet, back against back as walkers cornered them. So now they were fighting against the walkers instead of each other.

"Now!" Rick told us.

I pointed at the walker that was closer to Daryl and shot him, people started screaming. Maggie was on a place higher than us and had a better view, she was killing the rest of the walkers and some people as well. Rick then threw another smoke grenade, as Maggie then shot the light bulbs, making everything get darker, the only lights came from the torches plus there was smoke filling the arena.

It was a complete chaos. People screaming, running away, walkers on the loose, gunshots everywhere and smoke all around making everything so hard to see.

"Daryl, come on!" I shouted as he was taking his crossbow from Bowman. He turned to look in my direction, our eyes met for a second or two, until I broke out of my trance, ran to him, grabbed his hand and pulled him with me, joining the group, and all of us ran away from there.  
With our guns raised we made our way to where the buses where. Luckily there was no one there. Not even the guys that patrol the walls, no one.

"They're all at the arena, this way!" Merle exclaimed.  
"You're not going anywhere with us!" Rick said quickly.  
"You really want to do this now?" I guess Merle has a point.

Merle moved forward and started to kick one of the sidings to make a way through, while the rest of us looked around in case someone had come after us.

"Come on!" Daryl exclaimed. "We've got to go!"

Daryl grabbed my hand and pulled me with him, we were followed by Sean, Maggie and lastly Rick. Outside, Merle was killing a walker.  
"A little help would be nice!" he exclaimed.

Daryl let go of my hand, grabbed his crossbow with both hands and killed two walkers but there were around twenty more, all the noise in there attracted them. Maggie, Rick, Sean and I shot at some of them too.  
"We ain't got time for this!" Merle shouted and then ran away, Daryl was going to go after him when he noticed none of us moved.  
"Let's go!" he exclaimed and then once again he grabbed my hand and pulled me with him.

The way back was extremely dangerous. There were walkers almost everywhere and sometimes we had to hid until they had walked past us. We didn't dare to use our guns because of the noise, we didn't want to attract even more.

"Are you okay?" Daryl asked me, looking from toe to head after some walkers had walked away from us and apparently no more where around.

"I'm good, you?"

"You shouldn't have come, it was too dangerous!"

"If I hadn't gone, they wouldn't have found you so quickly! I was there for a few days, remember? I know where things are. And I had to go!"

"No, you didn't," he said as we started walking again, we were in the very back of the group.

"Yes, I did! That's what we do, don't we? We save each other no matter what. You went in those woods for days, you risked your life for me. I had to go in there and get you out of there or at least kill the person that killed you, I had to."

"But you..."

"It doesn't matter, we are out now, we are. It's done and I'm alive and you are too, it's all that matters, okay?"

Daryl said nothing else to me but I felt how he gave my hand a squeeze. We kept walking, avoiding walkers as much as we could. We were in those woods for a very long time, it was already light when we finally saw the car, Michonne and Glenn.

"Rick! Oh, thank God!" Glenn exclaimed as he saw us.

Glenn stood up from the ground quickly and walked to us, Michonne followed him closely behind. Apparently they got along while we were away.

"Now we got a problem here, I need you to back up!" Rick said quickly but both Glenn and Michonne grabbed their weapons as soon as they saw Merle with us.  
"What the hell is he doing here?" Glenn shouted.

"Hey, hey, hey!"

Sean, Daryl and Maggie tried to get Glenn to lower the gun while Rick and I tried to handle Michonne, who kept trying to get to Merle.

"Put it down!" Rick told her, now pointing his gun at her.

"He tried to kill me!" she shouted.

"Look what he did to me!" Glenn yelled.

"He helped us get out of there!" Daryl exclaimed.  
"Yeah, right after he beat the shit out of you!" Rick told him.  
"Hey, we both took our licks, man," Merle said, I just glared at him.

"Shut the hell up!" I exclaimed.

"Jackass!" Daryl said at the same time.  
"Hey, shut up!"  
"Enough!" Rick screamed.

Michonne once again tried to get at Merle, and from there everyone started screaming, especially Michonne, Glenn and Daryl.

Get that thing out of my face!" Daryl shouted at Glenn, who was pointing at Daryl instead of Merle. He slowly lowered his hand.

"Man, look like you've gone native, brother!"  
"No more than you hanging out with that psycho back there!" Daryl shouted at Merle as he took a few steps towards him, who had his back against a tree.  
"Oh, yeah, man. He is a charmer, I got to tell you that." Merle then turned to look at Michonne. "Been putting the wood to your girlfriend Andrea. Big time, baby!"  
"What? Andrea's in Woodbury?" Rick asked me. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"We had more important things to discuss, besides I thought you saw her at the arena, she was right there next to the Governor. But don't worry about her, she's there because she wants to."

"You know Andrea?" Rick asked Michonne, who didn't answer so Merle did.

"Yeah, she does! Her and the Blondies spent all winter cuddling up in the forest. My Nubian Queen here had two pet walkers."

"To protect ourselves!" I said quickly, since everyone's expression changed to horror ones.  
"No arms, cut off the jaws, kept them in chains. Kind of ironic now that I think about it."

"Shut up, bro!" Daryl shouted before I could.  
"Hey, man, we snagged them out of the woods, Andrea was close to dying."

"You pointed a gun to us, tied or hands, blindfolded us and took us there!" I exclaimed.  
"Is that why she's with him?" Maggie asked.

"Yeah. Snug as two little bugs. So what you gonna do now, Sheriff, huh? Surrounded by a bunch of liars, thugs, and cowards."  
"Shut up!"

"Oh, man, look at this. Pathetic!" Merle exclaimed. "All these guns and no bullets in them."  
"Merle, shut up!" Daryl shouted at him.

"Shut up yourself! Bunch of pussies you roll..."

Rick couldn't stand it anymore, he hit Merle with the back of his gun and Merle fell unconscious to the ground, I took a deep breath of relief.

The rest of us minus Michonne gathered around to discuss what will happen to Merle. For obvious reasons, Glenn and Maggie were completely against him going back to the prison with us, Sean never liked him, Daryl was practically begging Rick to let him come and then there was me, who only said we could give him a chance but mostly kept quiet because I knew what Merle had done and it was awful but I also knew that Merle had a good heart and he could be nice to people, like he had been to me, back at camp, or when he warmed me to not go with Michonne.  
"It won't work!" Rick said.  
"It's gotta." Daryl exclaimed.  
"It'll stir things up."  
"Look, the Governor is probably on the way to the prison right now. Merle knows how he thinks and we could use the muscle," Daryl said to Rick, he had a point there.  
"I'm not having him at the prison," Maggie said quickly.  
"Do you really want him sleeping in the same cell block as Carol or Beth?" Glenn asked.

"Maybe we could keep him in another cell block," I muttered with a shrug.

"He ain't a rapist!" Daryl exclaimed.

"Well, his buddy is."

Wait, what? I looked at Glenn with a confused expression while Maggie looked at him in disbelief. Did something happen to her?  
"There's no way Merle's going to live there without putting everyone at each other's throats," Rick said.

"We could give him just one chance, Rick," I said.  
"So, you're gonna cut Merle loose and bring the last samurai home with us?"

"She's not coming back."

"What?" I exclaimed.

"She did bring you guys to us," Glenn said. _Thanks Glenn_.  
"And then ditched us! Besides it was Cici who gave us most of the directions."

"Actually, it was her, Cici was too busy flirting with Daryl to give us the direc..."

"I wasn't flirting!" I exclaimed quickly, slightly putting my hands on Sean's chest and pushing him. I felt how blood rose to my cheeks but I tried to keep my cool, but I didn't even turn to look at Daryl, who was also blushing.

"Hey!" Sean exclaimed, pushing my hands away quite forcefully as he stepped back. I glared at him as I took a couple of steps towards him.

"Stop!" Rick said quickly stepping in between both of us when he noticed I was about to say something else to him plus pushing him again, I usually try to have the last say.  
"At least let my dad stitch her up," Maggie said to Rick, changing the topic quickly.

"She's too unpredictable."

"She's a nice person, she won't be a threat, I promise."  
"We don't know who she is!" Daryl said to me. "But Merle, Merle's blood."

"I'm trying to help Merle too!" I almost shouted at Daryl in disbelief. "How can you say that?"

"Merle's blood," he repeated.  
"No, Merle is your blood," Glenn told him. "My blood, my family is standing right here and waiting for us back at the prison."  
"And you're part of that family," Rick said, looking straight at Daryl. "But he's not!"

"He warmed me, though," I muttered. "He gave me a chance and he deserves one too, let's give him a chance and at the first mistake then we kick him out."

"No!" Maggie, Glenn and Sean exclaimed. I could understand Maggie and Glenn but why Sean was so against it? I glared at him and he just glared back.  
"Man, y'all don't know," he muttered. After that there was a very long awkward silence. "Fine. We'll fend for ourselves."

"What? Daryl!" I exclaimed, getting right in front of him and looking straight at his eyes, he looked away from me. "You can't leave!"  
"No him, no me. It was always Merle and I before this."  
"Don't," Maggie said.  
"You serious? " Rick asked in disbelief.

"You're just gonna leave like that?" Glenn asked.

"You'd do the same thing," Daryl said and then turned to look at Maggie. "Say good-bye to your pop for me."  
"Daryl, are you serious?" Glenn asked as Daryl started to walk away.

I jogged to catch up with him and got in front of him to stop him. I didn't notice but the others hadn't move from their spots, even when they kept saying things to Daryl, probably to give us some space.

"Daryl, this is crazy."

"He's my brother."

"Hey, look at me!" I demanded and finally Daryl looked back at me, his eyes showed sorrow and sadness but also determination. "I just got back, Daryl! You can't abandon me like this! You can't do this to me!"

"I have to do this, Cecilia," he said as he put both his hands on each side of my shoulders, my eyes were filling with tears. "I hate that it came to this but I can't leave him, he's my blood! You'd do the same for Sophia!"

I flinched when he mentioned her, that was low for him. How could he compare Merle with Sophia? She was just a little girl while Merle was a bastard, a nice bastard sometimes, though.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

"You mean most to me than anyone back in there, don't do this."

"You are going to be fine. You've got Rick, Glenn, your friend the samurai, your mother, Carl, you'll be fine, you'll get over me soon."

"You know that's not true," I told him. "I couldn't get over you during these last eight months."

"You are just making everything harder!" he shouted at me as he dropped his hands to his sides. "It kills me to leave you, alright? Especially now that I know you are alive but my brother is alive as well and I left him once, I won't do that again!"

"So now you are leaving _me_ ," I whispered.

Daryl walked past me but I stopped him, quickly wrapping my arms around him from behind. I heard him and felt him take a very deep breath before he put his hands on top of mine. He kept them there for a while before making them separate. I thought he was going to walk away again but he turned around and wrapped me in his strong arms.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to me as I hugged him again and buried my face in the crook of his neck.

"You are an idiot, you know that?"

"Yeah, I know." And with that he kissed the top of my head and slowly he let go of me, walking to the car and opening the trunk, while I just stayed there, a few feet away from him, looking at him, trying hard not to cry in front of him. Feeling like I everything inside of me was slowly shattering.

Rick finally approached him and tried to persuade him as well, but Daryl just kept grabbing supplies, not even looking up at Rick.

"Take care of yourself. Take care of lil ass-kicker," he said as he finally looked at Rick. "Carl. He's one tough kid."

Daryl put his backpack on his shoulder and started to walk away, where Merle was already waiting for him. Daryl did look back at Rick but didn't glance in my direction.

"Hey, Blondie!" Merle called out for me. "Why so sad? You can come with us, you know? We never got to that farm and have that cuddling night, it's our chance, what do you say?"

I looked at Merle, actually considering his offer. Merle hadn't been bad to me, quite the opposite actually and if I went with him, Daryl was there as well but then I clearly heard Carl's voice in my head.

" _You weren't there when I needed you the most, do you get that?"_

" _I'm here and I'm not leaving."_

" _I needed you!"_

" _But I'm here now and I promise that you will never feel alone again, okay?"_

" _How can I know you mean it?"_

" _You have to trust me."_

I said nothing to Merle, I just looked down to the ground and slowly turned. I could hear Merle calling for me but I didn't look back, it would kill me to see Daryl there, walking away from me, forever. I just walked to the car, where Michonne was waiting for us, opened the door of the passenger's seat and got inside and once there the tears started to fall down my face, which I wiped quickly before everyone else got in.

As on the way there, we were six people but this time Daryl wasn't here and no one dared to sit in the passenger's seat with me, that's why I chose to sit here, to be as alone and away as I could from the others.

I leant my head against the window so none of them could see my tears, I hated to cry in front of people, I hated to be seen crying. I tried not to cry but then I remembered seeing him walking away and that broke me every time.

The ride was very quiet, well most of it. We stopped halfway there, though, there was a car in the middle of the road that didn't let us pass. Only Michonne and I stayed in the car, I was feeling so sad I couldn't find the strength to get out and help them.

"I'm sorry," Michonne muttered, putting a hand on my shoulder. "This..."

"I don't want to talk about it," I snap at her, it wasn't my intention. It just came out like that.

"When you do, you know where to find me."

I could hear Sean, Maggie, but mostly Glenn and Rick shouting outside, I heard Daryl's name being said and I felt how more tears were threatening to fall down but I closed my eyes tightly and stopped them from falling.

Minutes later the four of them got inside the car again, none of them said a single word. I never looked back at them but I knew all of them were looking at me, I could feel their stares on me, specially Maggie's and Glenn's because they were right behind me.

When we finally got back to the prison, it was my mother who opened the gate. I had my head leant against the seat and at first, I didn't even try to get out of the car. Rick, who was the only one inside the car now, put his hand on top of mine, which was resting on my lap. I turned to look at him and saw how sad he was as well.

"I knew you wanted to go too, thanks for staying," Rick told me.

"I did it for Carl," I muttered.

"I know." He nodded. "Let's go."

I got out of the car and seconds later I was embraced by my mother, I was becoming so numb I didn't hug her back. I couldn't. She let go of me, but then cupped my face and kissed me on the forehead and that broke me again.

"It's okay," she whispered to me. "It's going to be okay."

I don't really remember how I got back inside the prison but I found myself lying on a bed and soon I started crying. I think I had never cried so much in my whole life and I didn't even know why I was so shattered, it wasn't like Daryl died, it wasn't like he betrayed me in some way, it wasn't like he chose him over me. He was his brother, I couldn't compete with that, I'm just a girl he saved, I'm just a 'camp-mate', nothing else. It didn't have to hurt so bad, not like this but it was killing me.

Teresa and Oliver came to me and sat on the bed next to me. Teresa rubbed my shoulder trying to make me feel better but I didn't even turn around to face them.

I wanted to turn around and meet everyone with a smile on my face, I wanted to joke and play something with Carl, I wanted to hug my mother and my friends, I wanted to tell them how happy I was to be back but I couldn't keep pretending I was okay, I did it for almost a year and I ran out of strength to pretend I was okay. I couldn't hide behind a smile or a tough shell anymore, I couldn't.

Eventually both Oliver and Teresa left with a sigh of disappointment and I was left alone for a few hours, the next person that came to see me was Michonne, but Rick was outside making sure she wasn't going to do anything stupid.

"I'm sorry," she muttered. I didn't say anything, I didn't even turn around to look at her, I just kept facing the wall. "I know you care about him."

Michonne then sat next to me on the bed and rubbed the top of my head, trying to comfort me. It was then when I finally looked at her.

"Why does it hurt so much, Mich?" I muttered. My voice was raspy from lack of use and from all the crying.

"Because you love him," she simply said, which made me jerk my head in her direction and just gape at her, I was going to tell her she was crazy when she started talking again. "I said you love him, not that you're in love with him, even when you are but you can't admit it or you can't see it yet, but you do love him, just like you love everyone else in here. You spend lots of time with the few people that are left and you get attached to them, want it or not. You are more attached to him than what you'd like to admit, that why it hurts so bad."

"I guess," I said with a slight shrug.

"Besides," she continued. "It's the second time you've lost him. You were hurt the first time and barely got over it, then you find him only to lose him a day or two later, you weren't prepared to lose him again."

"Since when did you become so... sentimental, saying things so deep like that?" I said with a small chuckle.

"I've got my moments." She shrugged. "And just so you know, I saw his expression when you were talking to him, he almost cried when you hugged him, he does care about you too."

"Was this what you felt when Andrea and I stayed in Woodbury?" I asked, trying to ignore what Michonne said because it would make it all harder to bear.

"Yeah, it was similar," she said nodding. "But it was worst because it wasn't just one of you that was leaving me, the two of you decided to stay, I felt like I lost everything. You have at least seven people here that care about you and won't abandon you but that day I lost everyone I cared about."

"I said I was going to join you later."

"But I wasn't sure if you were going to do that, I wasn't sure if you could find me again," she told me. "And who knows? Maybe you could get attached to that bastard and leave me for him."

"Merle?" I asked in disbelief. "I would never leave you for him, he's a good man, though. He just makes stupid decisions."

"He's not good, Cici," she told me. I was going to tell her what Merle did for me back in camp but I wasn't ready or wanted to tell her that now. "Anyway, it's good to see I got you to talk, those two said you wouldn't even look at them."

"Those are my best friends from before everything happened, it had been so long since I last saw them and we weren't in the best of terms so now it's a bit uncomfortable between us."

"Sorry to hear that, what happened?" I just shook my head at her. "Well, then tell me about the people that we rescued."

"The girl, Maggie. I only knew her for a couple of weeks, we weren't that close but I got really close to her sister, Beth, the blonde girl, we did or attempted to do something stupid and her father and Maggie kind of thought I was to blame and looked at me oddly after that and Glenn," I said taking a deep breath. "At the start of everything, Glenn and I were always going on runs for supplies and due to our time alone we got really, really close. It got to a point where I told him more things than to Oliver and Teresa, that's why I needed to save him. I couldn't lose him, not like that, not without having the chance to at least say hi again."

"Do you want me to take you to him?"

"No, not now. I'm not in the mood to see anyone right now."

Then Rick approached us and said it was time to take Michonne to a cell again, I asked him if it was possible to not lock her up but he just shook his head.

"I'll be fine," she whispered to me. "I'll be back and when I do, you better tell me about the rest of the group, alright?"

"Okay."

Michonne walked out of the cell where I was, and Rick took her away. I just turned around again and faced the wall again. I closed my eyes trying to sleep but minutes later I heard my mother talking to Beth, she mentioned Sophia, she mentioned me and she mentioned our father and they talked about Daryl and Merle, all of that made bad memories to resurface and without noticing I started crying again and this time not only for Daryl but because of all that had happened.

"I don't see why he had to leave, Merle sounds like a jerk," I could hear Beth saying.  
"Men like Merle get into your head, make you feel like you deserve the abuse."  
Several moments when I witnessed my mother being beaten came back into my mind, some were when I was only five, others when I was thirteen, they just got worse with time. Then I remembered other times when the target was not longer just her but me as well and eventually Sophia too. I remembered when I tried to stop him from hitting Sophia one time, he pushed me against a wall, started beating and kicking me, he pulled me up only to being slammed against the wall again. That was the worst time ever, I woke up in hospital a week later, my mother took me there, she lied, she said some men were trying to steal our things and they beat us up because we didn't want to give them our things. I had four broken ribs, broken neck, broken collarbone and shoulder... and a broken heart.

I never really believed I deserved that kind of abuse, I never believed neither of us did but I was too weak to step up, I was so defenceless I couldn't do anything. I was just a kid, I was confused and damaged, all I could think was to run away but that failed every time I tried.

"I'm hardly the woman I was a year ago, but if Ed walked through that door right now breathing and told me to go with him, I'd like to think I'd tell him to go to hell."  
I almost scoffed at her, a part of me wanted to believe that was true, that my mother had finally toughened up but the other part of me knew she wouldn't do that and even it she had actually become strong, what was the use now, anyway? My father was long gone now, she should have toughened up years ago.

"Stop it," I said to myself.

All that had made me get all that rage and resentment towards my mother again and I didn't want that. I almost lost her forever, I didn't want to be mad at her again, I wanted to forgive her. So instead of keep listening I put the pillow over my head to not hear them anymore and make my rage stronger, shutting the whole world out.

I couldn't post last week so I might update twice this week.

What do you think of this chapter? What do you think will happen when Cecilia and Daryl meet again?

Speaking of Daryl, what do you think will happen in the Season Finale this Sunday/Monday?


	27. Chapter 27 - Reconciliations

"Being alone never felt right. sometimes it felt good, but it never felt right."

Charles Bukowski, Women

I was woken up by someone yelling, I wasn't sure who was at first but then I realized it was Rick. I really didn't want to see anyone but I was scared the rampage was about Michonne so I forced myself out of bed and rushed to where the yells came from.

"Get out! Get out!"

Right when I was going to walk inside the room, four people I had never seen before were walking out, looking really scared. They barely acknowledged me.

"Just go! Go! Go!"

Hershel and Axel followed them out, Rick stormed away, leaving the rest astonished at his reaction. Beth stood next to me.

"What happened? Who were they?"

"They came in when you were out looking for Maggie and Glenn, we had them locked here and we had kind of agreed we were going to let them stay but then Rick just... he just snap."

"Yeah, I heard."

"Are you hungry? I'm sure you haven't eaten since you came here the first time. I think we have some noodles."

"I'm fine."

To be honest I couldn't remember the last time I ate. I think it was the morning I left with Merle, almost two days ago and I wasn't really hungry but I was very tired even when I had just woken up.

I walked back into the cell where I was and lied down on my stomach, I used to sleep like that when the world was normal, then I would just lie on my side on my sleeping bag.

"Hey," Beth muttered, sitting next to me. "I know you said you weren't hungry but I got you something."

"Thanks," I said smiling a bit at her and taking the bar from her hand.

I sat up and opened the wrapper. I took a bite of it and it was really good, I wasn't hungry but I ate to not hurt Beth's feelings and because I knew I needed it.

"You look good," I told her. "So much better than the last time I saw you."

"Yeah, I just went through a hard time there, I lost it but I got over it. It doesn't make things any easier but at least I can bear them," she told me with a sad look on her face. "I'm so sorry... for leaving you. We all assumed you were dead, there were so many."

"It's okay, if you had come looking for me you would have died, I almost died. I admit it was horrible. We ran all night and all day, killing walkers. I was about to being eaten when Michonne saved us and..."

"Us?" Beth asked.

"Andrea and I, if it wasn't for her I would have killed myself right after I saw all the cars leaving, I never thought I could get out of there alive but she stopped me and she kept telling me to go on until we both ran out of strength and Michonne saved us and took care of us."

"Is she... is Andrea dead?"

"Oh, didn't you hear? Andrea's in Woodbury, she didn't want to leave and based on Merle, she and the Governor are together, I prefer not to think about that."

"I haven't really thanked you," she told me, grabbing my left hand. "For saving my sister. You could have stayed with us, you had just come but you decided to go to help her, so thank you."

"I couldn't leave her and Glenn there," I told her. "How are they, by the way?"

"They are good, a bit traumatized and well, Glenn has a lot of bruises but they are okay, they will be okay."

"Uh, whose room, or should I say cell, is this?" I asked, looking around, I saw stuff all around it.

"It's mine," Beth said with a smile. "I remember when we both were sharing my room back in the farm and I wanted to spend time with you but when I found out about Da... about him and saw how devastated you were I thought it was better to give you space and time alone, but tomorrow you can go and choose your own cell, there are a few empty ones."

"Thank you," I said with a smile on my lips.

"I'll show you around tomorrow but let's sleep, now scoot over!"

"No, you go first, I can't be in between the wall and you," I said with a shrug. "I'm claustrophobic."

"I didn't know that," she said as she lied down on the other side of the small bed.

"We went to the CDC before we met you and the whole thing was underground, I had to get drunk to not think about that, it was awful."

"I would feel claustrophobic in that situation as well."

Then I told her all about what happened at the CDC, what Jenner told us, that we felt safe for a night, I even told her I drunkly kissed Sean, which she squealed about, I told her Jenner locked us there and almost died, told her everything but I left Daryl out of the story, didn't mention we shared a room, didn't mention we barely talked back there, it was mostly arguments, I didn't mention it was the two of us that got drunk two days in a row.

And as if it was a night story for little kids, we both fell asleep right after telling it. Unfortunately that story didn't really have a happy ending. Jacqui died, we went on the road for days and right after that we lost Sophia.

The next morning I was woken up by Beth rolling on top of me to go to the bathroom, I whined still in an asleep state but the damage was done, I couldn't get back to sleep.

I went to the kitchen where I found about half of the group, including my mother and Axel, I hadn't talked to him yet.

"Sweetheart," my mother said as she stood up and walker over me, embracing me. "How are you? Are you hungry? I could make you something to eat."

I only nodded at her with a smile, I sat on a table and saw as my mother made me some breakfast, like old times.

"Didn't know you had a daughter," Axel said as he looked from me to my mum.

"Actually I had two but I'm very lucky to reunite with Cecilia," she told him. Many months had passed since Sophia died but it still hurts to talk about her.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "But it's a miracle she found you."

When my mum got me the food, Teresa and Sean joined me in the table, sitting in front of me and my mum. They tried to have a conversation to me, I made an effort but I usually just answered with a word or two.

"You have to tell us what happened to you," Teresa said after I was done with my breakfast and was standing up.

"She's not ready yet," my mum told her as she grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I offered her a smile before letting go of her and walked outside, where I saw Michonne. It made me happy to notice that she wasn't locked up like some kind of criminal anymore.

"Feels good, huh? Fresh air." I heard Beth saying to me, who had just joined me.

"Yeah."

I turned around and saw her carrying Rick's baby, I smiled at the baby, who was drinking her formula.

"She has Lori's eyes, you know?" Beth told me. "I think she does."

I honestly didn't remember Lori's face that well but I leant down anyway and looked at the baby closely, who just looked back at me with her big blueish eyes. Somehow she managed to reach out for my hand and grab one of my fingers, which made my heart warm up.

"What's her name?" I asked.

"Little Ass-Kicker, well, it's not her real name, Carl hasn't decided yet, Rick let him choose it, you know, so Daryl named her that for now," Beth told me and I felt sorrow again.

"Well, it suits her," I said, pretending that hearing his name didn't affect me and she didn't seem to notice. "Do you always take care of her?"

"Most of the time, yeah. Rick has been... well, he didn't take it well. He has been unstable since he found out about Lori. He disappeared into the prison and didn't get out for a few days after it happened, we had to take care of her, you know? Oliver also helps a lot, it's mostly the two of us and now that we found Carol, she has helped a lot as well."

"Carl told me about his dad the other day but I'm glad Rick has finally come around."

"Not entirely yet but he will soon," Beth said sadly as the baby finally finished her bottle. "I'll take her inside and have breakfast, I'll show you around when I finish."

"Sure," I said with a smile and went back inside.

Beth handed the baby to Teresa while she ate while I went back into the cell and lied down again. I didn't even know why I was feeling so tired and so unmotivated. I just wanted to go back to sleep.

Minutes later Carl stood by the door, looking at me, I offered him a smile and he smiled back at me, he looked nervous but he eventually walked to me and sat next to me on the bed. I had my back against a wall and my legs stretched, one on top of the other.

And then, without warming, Carl wrapped my torso with his small arms and rested his head on my chest. I was so shocked. I didn't expect that, not after everything he told me the day before. Astonishingly I wrapped my arms around him and ran my hand up and down his back.

"Hey," I said. "What did I do to earn this?"

"It's what I should have done as soon as I saw you, I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. You were upset, I get it. I was gone when you needed me, you had to get it out of your chest. I just hoped that you could forgive me."

"I already did," Carl told me, pulling away and looking at me with a big smile but then his expression turned serious. "We can't have the luxury of being mad at someone anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"I wasn't talking to my mum when she died and now I can't take it back, I can't go back in time and fix that but I got a second chance with you and I'm not wasting it by being upset by something that wasn't even your fault," Carl told me, completely baffling me. "I wanted to tell you that before you left yesterday, I didn't want you to go thinking that I was mad at you but I didn't know how to tell you and I'm extremely happy that you are back because I feared that you wouldn't get back and I wouldn't be able to tell you this."

"Carl," I muttered, embracing him once again, but this time tighter. I didn't join Merle and Daryl mostly for this boy and now I know that I took the right choice by coming back. He needed me and now _I_ needed him. "When did you grow up?"

I couldn't believe his words, he had gotten so mature over these last months. It was like I wasn't even talking to a little boy.

"It's what happens when you live in a world like this, you grow up," he said to me, pulling away from me again and looked back at me.

"I'm sorry about that, you shouldn't be worrying about all these stuff. You should be playing and worrying about school not about things that want to eat you, you shouldn't even know how to shoot. I'm sorry this happened to you."

"I've got you now," he said with a shrug.

"You do," I said nodding. "And I've got you."

I then looked thoroughly at him. I saw his freckles that looked really similar to mine, except I didn't have as many as him and they were quite faint so many people didn't even noticed them, unlike Sophia's. I also noticed his eyes were not as empty as the first time I saw him when I came here and they were a bit softer and then I saw his medium brown hair, it had gotten longer and it actually looked good.

"I like your hair," I said to him, grabbing one strand of it. "It has grown so much, it suits you."

"Thank you, I like it too," he told me with a smile. "Your hair has grown too."

"Not as much as yours."

Back at the farm my hair barely reached my mid-back, now it almost reached my bellybutton when I stretch it to its full length. My hair hadn't been as wavy as before so that also had made it look longer.

"I'm sorry about Daryl," he said out of nowhere. "I know you liked him a lot, he was your favourite of the group."

"That's not true," I said, touching the tip of his nose. "You are my favourite, Daryl's my second favourite and I know you liked him too."

"He's really cool."

"Remember when I got lost?" I said with a deep breath, this was going to be hard to talk about.

"Yeah," he said nodding.

"That first night, Sophia and I found a house, we stayed there all night and I remember our last conversation, the last words we said to each other. She told me that you and her thought Daryl and I were together and that you actually wanted us to be together. It really surprised me," I said with a chuckle.

"She told you?" he asked me with a shy smile.

"Yeah, she was very disappointed when I said we weren't and will never be together."

"Well, we really thought that the two of you kind of like fit together, you two looked cute and we actually made a plan to get you two together if you weren't already, we couldn't do much, tough," he said to me, making me even more shocked. "Back at the CDC, we eavesdropped your argument with him, he wanted a room for himself, right?" I nodded. "Well, I made Dale to get that room before him while Sophia made Andrea to get the other empty room so he wouldn't have a choice but stay with you."

"You did what? Are you serious?" Carl just nodded with a smirk. "She never told me about that."

"And when we had to dump some cars because of the gasoline? We almost succeeded to get you to ride with him but your mum ruined it by saying she didn't want you in a motorcycle."

"I remember that," I said with a smile. "I had to go with her and you, so I didn't mind."

"And back at camp we were always trying to get you two to be around each other, sometimes it worked and when we thought you were, you know, like together together, we would hear you two arguing so we just kept planning."

"How come I never noticed any of that?" I asked in disbelief.

"Because we were good." Carl shrugged. "But then Sophia and you got lost, I got shot. I couldn't go back to the mission and.."

"Mission?"

"Yeah, it was our mission. We called it Cupid's Arrow Mission. Because we were like cupid and Daryl's weapon is arrows, you know? It kind of made sense," Carl said with a small chuckle, his cheeks flushed at that. "Stupid name I know."

"Perfect name, actually."

"I guess the mission failed," Carl said, now looking sad, almost like Sophia looked when I told her I wasn't dating Daryl.

"Why?"

"Because you two were getting closer, you spent a lot of time with him, so I decided to not interfere but I kept watching you two, just in case." I just shook my head at him and ruffled his hair. "And then I thought you were dead and now that you are back, he's gone. The two of you ruined the C.A. Mission."

"C.A.?"

"We used to call it that to not be obvious." He shrugged again.

"That's smart, I'm sorry I made your mission fail," I said sincerely.

"You have some of the fault, Daryl's is guilty as well and I guess I'm a bit to blame because I could have done more."

"Who came with the idea of that mission?"

"Sophia started saying stuff about the two of you and I came up with the idea of trying to get you two together and then somehow, it became a whole mission. It was fun to do it, especially when it worked."

"You sneaky things! I never even suspected anything."

"Daryl didn't either, or anyone else." Then his expression turned into a concentrated one, like he was contemplating something. "Except Merle, he heard us once, that's why we started calling it mission C.A. and we used to call you 'G' for girl and Daryl 'B' for boy. Don't worry though, Merle wasn't sure his brother was part of our mission, but he suspected, he said he heard us saying his name and all but we never admitted it and he never told Daryl."

"How can you be so sure?" I asked, getting nervous just by thinking Merle knew and told Daryl about it.

"If he had been told, Daryl wouldn't have let you sleep in his tent anymore and he would have avoided you like the pest and probably tell me and Sophia something like to stop doing stupid things like that. Don't worry, Daryl doesn't know anything and now that I think about it, I shouldn't have told you anything," Carl exclaimed.

"He's not even here anymore, don't worry about it," I said with a small chuckle.

"My dad and Sean told me a bit of what happened yesterday, Sean kind of mentioned something," Carl said casually, too casually. "He said the two of you hugged and he kissed you, now that I think about it, Sean sounded quite angry about it."

"On the top of my head," I exclaimed quickly. "What's your point?"

"Have you ever seen Daryl kissing someone? Have you ever seen him just having some kind of physical interaction with someone? He's not like that. He doesn't even shake hands," he said with a big smile. "Which means that if he comes back, the mission can be not a complete failure."

"You really have a big imagination, Carl. That kiss didn't even mean anything of what you are thinking, I'm sorry to be like this but it's just the way it is."

"Alright," he said shrugging but he was still smiling. "Whatever you say."

He gave me one last hug and stood up, walking to the door, where he stood a second or two before turning around to look at me.

"What do you think of the name Judith?" he asked me.

"I like it, it's pretty," I tell him. "Why you ask?"

"That's the name of my sister, I chose that name. My dad liked it and just wanted to know what you think."

"I think it's just perfect for her."

"Great!" he exclaimed with a smile before he turned around and this time actually leaving me.

I stood up minutes later, I really wanted to check on Glenn. I walked in front of the cells, trying to find him inside of one, and I eventually did. He was sat on the edge of it with his elbows on his knees and his face on his hands.

"How are you feeling?" I ask him, making him jerk his head on my direction. It pained me to see him so beaten up, seeing that bruise around his eyes. It just made my blood boil with anger.

"I don't even know," he muttered. "I feel really happy to see you again, though. Only good thing that has happened lately and thanks for going for us as well."

"Don't even mention it," I said to him. "We always have each other's back, don't we?"

"Yeah, and how are you feeling?"

"I'm just... hanging on, you know?"

"What happened to you?" he asked, pointing to the stitches on my right arm that now were exposed.

"Got shot," I told him, making his eyes wide in shock.

"Don't tell me it was yesterday when you went for us beca..."

"It wasn't!" I said quickly. "The day when you were kidnapped, I was running away from Woodbury, one of their man shot me or at least tried to. Merle shot Michonne in the leg."

"What?"

I took a deep breath and sat next to him. I really didn't want to tell him everything because I didn't want him to think it was my fault he was taken or think that I didn't try to save him because I already feel guilty enough about that, but I told him everything, how Andrea, Michonne and I ended up there, told him about Merle and I planning to go to the farm and told him how I ended up with Michonne again and how we found the prison, I even told him that Merle kind of warned me about it.

Glenn said nothing to me when I finished, he didn't even look at me. He just stood up and started to walk out of the cell.

"Are you angry at me?" I asked him, making him stop.

"No," he said after a short pause. "But I need to do something."

Minutes later all of us, except Rick, were in the kitchen, even Michonne was there. Glenn was drawing the prison on the floor, trying to know where the group of people got in.

"The whole front of the prison is un-secure," Glenn said after checking where those people came in. "If walkers just strolled in, then it's going to be cake for a group of armed men."  
"Why are we even so sure he's going to attack? Maybe you scared him off," Beth said.  
"He had fish tanks full of heads," Michonne said in a slow tone. "Walkers and humans. Trophies."

"What are you talking about?" I asked her in shock.

"When I went missing that night I went for him, went to his apartment. Remember the guy from the National Guard that was rescued with us?" I nodded. "His head was there, he was still human when he was killed and my two walkers were in there too. I told you he killed all the men of the National Guard, that head was more proof of it. And now he's coming for us."  
"We should hit him now," Glenn suddenly said. "He won't be expecting it. We'll sneak back in and put a bullet in his head."  
"We're not assassins," my mother told him.  
"You know where his apartment is," Glenn said walking towards me and Michonne. "The two of you and I could end this tonight. I'll do it myself."  
After what he did to Maggie and Glenn, after that he did to Daryl and Merle, after what Michonne said about the heads and the National Guard I admit I did want to go and kill him, to get rid of him but apparently I was the only one thinking straight here. We were just too few, there were around thirty armed men in that place, we lost Oscar last night, we almost lost Daryl and Glenn and Maggie, we couldn't do it like this. So as Glenn looked directly at us, I shook my head at him but Michonne nodded.  
"He didn't know you were coming last time and look what happened," Hershel said, speaking my thoughts. "You were almost killed, Daryl was captured and you and Maggie were almost executed."  
"You can't stop me!" Glenn exclaimed as he took a few steps towards the old man.  
"Rick would never allow this."  
"You really think he's in any position to make that choice?" Glenn asked, I had noticed Rick was not here but I didn't know why, apparently he wasn't still that well mentally.

"What are we waiting for? If he's really on his way, we should be out of here by now."  
"And go where?" Glenn asked him.

"We lived on the road all winter."  
"Back when you had two legs and we didn't have a baby crying for walkers every four hours." Well, Glenn had a point there.  
"We can't stay here," Hershel insisted.  
"We can't run!"

A short silence followed. Maggie just walked away without a word. She hadn't been so well since we had come back, from what I heard from Teresa she didn't leave her cell all day yesterday, pretty much like me. She had barely said a few words and barely eaten. I didn't know what happened but Maggie was taking it really bad, Glenn too, but on his own way.  
"All right. we'll stay put. We're going to defend this place. We're making a stand," Glenn said. "Carl, you and I will go down to the tombs. We need to figure out where the breach is."  
"You got it," Carl said, nodding.  
"You'll need some help," Michonne said, wanting to go.  
"No, in case anything happens, I need you out here," Glenn told her.

"Then I'll go with you," I told him, he wanted to argue but instead he nodded.  
"Who's on watch?" Glenn asked, realizing all of us were here, except Rick and Maggie. "Damn it!"  
Minutes later Glenn, Carl and I got ready to go to this place they called the tombs. I had my gun and knife with me. My mother tried to persuade me to stay but I needed to do something besides being miserable and lie on a bed, I needed to do this to clear my mind, to stop thinking about stuff and just act.

When we went to the tombs, Glenn went ahead of us, while Carl and I walked right next to each other. If we only saw a few walkers we were going to kill them with knives and if we saw a lot we would use our guns.

I noticed the walls had painted arrows to signal the way out, it didn't look like they were done a while ago so I assumed someone of the group did it.

Only a few minutes later we saw the first walker, Glenn killed it quickly. We saw four more coming to us, I ran to one and killed it quickly, I pushed it out of my way and killed a second one, stabbing him right on the top of its head.

As we kept walking we found more and more walkers, luckily we had just come across small groups of them, so we killed them quickly and kept moving on until we saw there were more, this time it was a group of twelve or so.

I killed one first, then two more, while Glenn and Carl, killed some more. Glenn ordered us to go back, we heard more coming so, we killed these quickly and ran back, Sean quickly opened the gate and locked it again once we were inside.

I had blood all over my body and my clothes and it was not until now that I realized I wasn't scared in there, I was actually feeling some kind of thrill and right now that I had released some stress I was feeling a bit better.

"The tombs outside the boiler room are overrun again," Glenn informed the rest.  
"That whole section had been cleared."  
"It's a steady stream of walkers," Carl added.  
"We're wasting time! The Governor is supposedly on the way and we're stuck in here with walkers. Trapped between a rock and a hard place," Hershel said.  
"For the last time, running is not an option!" Glenn exclaimed.  
"Glenn, if the tombs have filled up again, it may just be a matter of time before they push in here," my mum said.

"Or until some fence gives way," Beth added.  
"What if one of them herds is passing through? Or settled?" Axel asked.

"Can't handle that with just the few of us," my mother said.  
"All right, we need- we just need to scout the far side of the prison. Find out what's going on," Glenn said as he panted.  
"You're going out there?" Hershel asked him, still in a calm tone but I could tell he didn't like the idea.

"Take a car and make it quick," Glenn said quickly.

"I'll go with you," I told him.  
"No, you stay here," he told me. "I need you here. I'll take Maggie."  
"You sure she's up to that?" Hershel asked him.

Glenn didn't reply he just walked away, probably to get Maggie and I just stayed there with the rest, being a bit hurt that he rejected me to go with him. It was always the two of us going on runs before, I guess that has changed now.

Hello guys, I know this chapter was a bit boring but I updated twice this week like I promised.

QOTD: When is your birthday? Mine is December 5, any birthday twinie here?

Are you excited/nervous about the Season Finale? I get to watch it until Monday :/ Any death predictions?


	28. Chapter 28 - Scars

"I just want to be someone, to mean something to anyone."

– Charlotte Eriksson

Daryl's POV

I just spent one of the worst nights of my life. I couldn't even sleep because I knew it wasn't safe here, there were walkers everywhere and also because I missed the group, I never thought I would say that but I miss them, all of them.

Rick, Carl, Beth, Glenn, Hershel, Maggie, Carol, Little Ass-Kicker, Teresa, Oliver, even Axel and Sean. I missed them all but now I had another person to miss, Cecilia.

I only could spend less than a day with her but it was enough to hurt. Once Merle was gone she was the person I cared about the most, and I didn't even know why. Saving her made our bond be really strong and before I knew it, we were something like friends and once I realized that, instead of pushing her away like I would have normally done, I let it happen and it wasn't until she was gone that I realized why I did that. I was sick of feeling and being alone and she made me feel like I mattered to the group, like I was special in some way, like for once, someone actually needed me.

And it felt good. I had never had someone in that way and I enjoyed it. The little time we spent together, I cherished it.

"Still sad about that little girlfriend of yours?" Merle said in a mocking way, he had been doing that all morning.

"Shut the hell up!" I exclaimed and gave him the finger, he just laughed at me. Fucking asshole.

Before the turn, I had some mates but it was only to drink, to party, to have a good time in a bad way and with girls, I never had a female friend, I didn't even have a girlfriend. I only had girls to have sex with them, sometimes only once or seldom a few times with the same one but it never became something serious. They were probably even more empty and damaged than me, but Cecilia was different. She made me realize that I wasn't a bad man, I just needed to act like one, because of Merle, because of my fucked up life, but I didn't need to be like that anymore, the group accepted me and preferred how I actually was, not who I pretended to be.

And when I saw her for the first time in months I wanted to push her away because I knew sooner or later I would lose her again, it will hurt less but I couldn't keep away from her. I held her tightly the whole way to that damn town and I'm glad I did it because that was my only chance to do that and I was really glad that even after all the months we were separated our relationship hadn't changed, we weren't awkward or uncomfortable around each other, but like if it mattered now. I left them, I left _her_ , I left all those good things behind, including food and shelter for my brother and I couldn't help but try to convince myself I made the right choice. He was the only family I had left after all.

Speaking of him, he was taking a piss at the moment, trying to pretend this all situation was cool and alright. I was just leaning against a tree, looking away from him.

"There ain't nothing out here but mosquitoes and ants," I said out loud just seconds after my stomach rumbled loudly.  
"Patience, little brother. Sooner or later, a squirrel is bound to scurry across your path."  
"Even so, that ain't much food."  
"More than nothing," he said to me.  
"I'd have better luck going through one of them houses we passed back on the turn-off."  
"Is that what your new friends taught you? Hmm? How to loot for booty?" Merle asked me as he finally finished and walked to me, still zipping up his pants.

"We've been at it for hours. Why don't we find a stream, try to look for some fish?"

"I think you're just trying to lead me back to the road, man. Get me over to that prison."  
"They got shelter, food, a pot to piss in," I said trying to persuade him. "Might not be a bad idea."  
"For you, maybe, ain't gonna be no damn party for me," he told me. "Besides, that's not why you want to go back, is it?"

"Of course it is," I said to him, looking down at my crossbow. "I'm fucking starving, man. I want my bed, I want food."

"Nah-ah, you want to go back for that girl, for Cecilia, I ain't stupid," he said and I felt my heart beating faster.

"That's not true and you know it."

"I saw you two yesterday, I saw the way you hugged her, the way you kissed her. I ain't blind," he exclaimed. I still didn't look back at him, I even lowered my gaze even more as I heard him chuckle. "You became a fucking superhero when I was gone, huh? She told me you saved her. Told me lots of things and I think you are in very big shit, little bro, I think you fell for her."

"That ain't true!" I exclaimed quickly. "You know I don't do that shit. I don't love people, I don't fall in love either."

"Hmm, I think she softened you. You were a lost case since that day you let her into your tent all those months ago," he told me with a chuckle. "And the worst is that she fell for you too, guess the superhero thing was what charmed her." I blushed at his last statement even when I knew it was nothing but a bunch of lies and speculations from Merle, she would never fall in love with someone like me. Merle raised an eyebrow as he pat my shoulder.

"What was I supposed to do?" I asked, getting angry now, and glancing at Merle for a few seconds. "Her dad beat her, she was out in the open! I couldn't leave her there as walker bait and you also offered her to stay with you, so don't give me that crap!"

"Yeah, I did that but not for the same reasons you did," Merle said with a smirk and a wink.

"You bastard!" I exclaimed, pushing him, wanting to punch him but I stopped myself, knowing it would be of no use.

"Hey!" he exclaimed angrily, pushing me too. "It was a fucking joke! Chill! Or are you jealous? Hmm?"

"Don't be stupid!"

"I gotta tell you, she was one of the few peoples I actually like. She wasn't whining all the time and actually fought for what she wanted instead of waiting for a man or anyone else to get it for her. She's a survivor just like us and exactly that earned her lots of points in her favour. She told me everything she went through after the bunch of you left her behind, just like all of you left me!" he shouted the last part but then he calmed down again. "She told me where that farm was, we were going to go together to look for you when everything went to shit. She's a good girl."

"What's your fucking point, Merle?"

"She helped me, she can actually shoot and she's damn good at it. It's such a shame she didn't come with us, we would make a damn good team! Kill biters during the day, fucking at night. We could have made a fucking threesome, sounds good, huh?" I took deep breaths to calm myself down, how dare he said that? But I did glare at him and he just laughed. "Anyway, somehow she has gotten a place on my 'good people' list. I even killed the idiot that tried to shoot her, I told them all they couldn't do a thing to her, couldn't even lay a single finger on her and this bastard was going to shoot her, fucking asshole."

"You did what?" I asked in amazement.

"No big deal," he muttered with a shrug. "I didn't even like that guy, I was more than willing to kill him before he tried to kill her, I just needed an excuse."

"Have you told her?"

"No and I won't, she doesn't need to know," he said to me. "Anyway, as I was saying, she's a badass girl and I like her. If we were like everybody else, I would approve of the two of you, hell, I would even throw a damn party or something but we are not like that, little brother. You said so yourself, you don't love people, you don't get attached. So you better get your shit together, stop being so fucking gloomy about it because if you don't you'll get yourself killed, understand?"

I said nothing, I only glared at him who laughed at my face. He patted my back and I just jerked aggressively out of his touch.

"Sensitive, huh?"

"You don't fucking understand!" I yelled. "She saved me as much as I saved her, but in a different way. She made me happy, for once in my fucking life I was truly happy and I believe you have no idea how that does feel. And I lost her, then she comes back into my life only to fucking lose her again, because of you! I'm miserable, hungry, cold and tired, all because of you!"

"Hey, I offered her to come with us, ain't my fault. Like I said I like her, I like her strong spirit, her surviving skills but you should stop being such a pussy about it and move on. I bet she already moved on. Besides, they're all dead. If we are here now or not makes no difference."  
"How can you be so sure?" I asked, getting extremely scared for her, for all of them.

"Right about now he's probably hosting a house-warming party where's he gonna bury what's left of your pals, of your little sweetheart," he said and I almost lost it right there, but instead concentrated on my crossbow again. "Let's hook some fish. Come on!"

I took a deep breath just before I started walking and went after Merle. I held my crossbow tightly, in case there were walkers around but I really wasn't paying attention to where I was going, or to what Merle was saying because three words kept repeating in my mind.

" _They're all dead."_

 _Dead. Dead. Dead._

I shook my head slightly to keep those thoughts away, they couldn't be dead, they just couldn't. Even if that Governor attacks them, they can fight, they are strong, it can't end like that.

Merle continued to speak as we walked while I just muttered a 'yeah' or a 'mhm', but I really had no idea what he was talking about. The people I had got attached to were in danger, maybe just maybe, killed by now, I couldn't stop thinking about them. I didn't know I care so much about them this much until now, it was so weird for me to worry and care about someone.

"Hmm smells to me like the Sawhatchee Creek," Merle said and for some reason I caught that.  
"We didn't go west enough. There's a river down there, it's got to be the Yellow Jacket."  
"You have a stroke, boy? We ain't never even come close to Yellow Jacket."  
"We didn't go west, just a little bit south. That's what I think," I told him, being almost one hundred percent where we were.  
"Know what I think? I may have lost my hand, but you lost your sense of direction, stop thinking about that girl already and concentrate!"  
"Yeah, we'll see," I muttered, ignoring the last part.  
"What do you want to bet?"

"I don't want to bet nothing," I exclaimed angrily, getting sick of his attitude. "It's just a body of water. Why is everything got to be a competition with you?"

"Whoa, whoa. Take it easy, little brother, just trying to have a little fun here," he said as I heard something weird. "No need to get your panties all in a bundle."  
"You hear that?" I asked him, hearing it again, it sounded like a baby crying.

"Yeah, wild animals getting wild."  
"No, it's a baby."  
"Oh, come on," he said in an incredulous way. "Why don't you just piss in my ear and tell me it's raining, too? That there's the sound of a couple of coons making love, sweet love. Know what I mean?"

I kept walking, fearing the baby might be Ass-Kicker, and came across a bridge over a river, there were many walkers on it and people were screaming. I was sure now that they weren't Rick or the others because these people were speaking in Spanish, but still I had to help them, I had to help that baby.

The heartless bastard of Merle just chuckled at the scene as it was some kind of comedy but this was serious. I didn't said or did anything to him because I couldn't waste time.

"Hey, man, I ain't wasting my bullets on a couple of strangers that ain't never cooked me a meal or felicitated my piece," he said but I just kept moving towards them. "That's my policy. You'd be wise to adopt it, brother."  
As soon as I got to the bridge, I saw a man that was trying to get free from a walker's grip that was about to bite his leg. I narrowed my eyes with my crossbow raised and shot an arrow at its head, it went right through the middle of it.

I killed a female walker that was almost in front of me then, I took the arrow back and just thrust it deeply into another walker's head.

Finally the older man reacted, he jumped from a car and grabbed his gun, shooting another walker. I put the arrow in my crossbow and shot two walkers that were on top of the car. I hurried to get to the car and grabbed a walker that was inside the car by its feet, I pulled it out and closed the trunk forcefully, making its head explode.  
I saw one more walker going my way, I was about to grab another arrow when I saw Merle, with his gun raised, pointed at it.  
"Daryl! I got ya!" he said and shot it, hmm about time.

I hurried to my backpack, which I had let fall to the ground earlier, I grabbed another arrow as I heard the man speaking to me in Spanish, I knew a few words, mostly because Merle liked the language but I couldn't understand a single work this man was saying.

"Speak English," I said, getting frustrated with him.

I killed two more walkers with my crossbow before I left it on the floor and grabbed my knife, running to a walker and digging my knife deep in its skull, I kicked it and it fell in the river below us, that was the last one.

I panted it as I looked down to the river, the man was standing next to me, breathing heavily as well. I took a quick glance at him before walking away, as I did I saw Merle opening one of the doors of the car where the woman and her baby were.

"Alejate de mi carro!" the man shouted, Merle just pointed his gun at the man.

"Slow down, beaner," Merle said calmly, as I walked on the other side of the car thinking of a way to stop Merle. "That ain't no way to say thank you."  
"Let 'em go," I told him.  
"The least they can do is give us an enchilada or something, huh?" Merle crawled inside the car looking for food, most likely. Hmm, and he was against going inside an empty house to try some luck, this was worse than that, fucking hypocrite.

I walked to the other side of the car, stopped right behind Merle and pointed my crossbow at him. The man and apparently his son were getting very edgy and the baby was crying even louder now, I had to do something.

"Get out of the car!" I ordered him firmly.  
"I know you're not talking to me, brother." I turned to look at the man.  
"Get in your car and get the hell out of here!" I shouted. "Go! Get in your car! Go!"

I had no idea how but the man understood me, father and son ran to the other side of the car and got in quickly, as Merle slowly turned to look at me with an angry expression, I just kept pointing my crossbow right at his face. He stood up straight and slammed the door of the car. I heard the engine and they drove away, it was then when Merle just put a hand on my crossbow and pushed it away, as I kept glaring at him. How could he be such a bastard?

I wasn't even that mad at him, I was more upset about the fact that at some time I was pretty much like him, I wasn't as heartless as him but I was close to it. It almost made me sick to think that before all of this I was following his steps, slowly becoming him.

As I walked away from him and grabbed my backpack, I silently thanked the group but mostly Cecilia for changing me in that way. I still had a long way to go but I knew I wasn't a lost case, not anymore.

I kept walking, grabbing back my arrows that were on the heads of the walkers as I passed by. At the end of the bridge I read a sign that read 'YELLOW JACKET CREEK', I almost turned around and rub it in Merle's face but I was so upset I just kept going, back into the woods.

"The shit you doing, pointing that thing at me?" he growled at me.

"They were scared, man," I told him.  
"They were rude is what they were," he exclaimed. "Rude and they owed us a token of gratitude."  
"They didn't owe us nothing."  
"You helping people out of the goodness of your heart? Even though you might die doing it? Is that something your Sheriff Rick taught you?"

"There was a baby!" I shouted at him, stopping in my tracks to turn to face him.

"Oh, otherwise you would have just left them to the biters, then?"

"Man, I went back for you! You weren't there. I didn't cut off your hand, neither, you did that," I told him. "Way before they locked you up on that roof, you asked for it."  
"You know, you know what's funny to me? You and Sheriff Rick are like this now," he said, putting two of his fingers together. "Right? I bet you a penny and a fiddle of gold that you never told him or that girl that we were planning on robbing that camp blind."  
"It didn't happen," I muttered.  
"Yeah, it didn't 'cause I wasn't there to help you."  
"What, like when we were kids, huh?" I shot at him. "Who left who then?"

"What? Huh? Is that why I lost my hand?" he shouted at me.

"You lost your hand 'cause you're a simple-minded piece of shit!" I exclaimed, starting to walk away.  
"Yeah? You don't know!" he exclaimed, going after me and yanking at my shirt, I fell and I could hear my shirt ripping. "I..."

I just stayed on my knees, feeling as vulnerable as when I was just a little kid. Merle saw them. He saw my scars, my horrible scars that showed how defenceless I used to be and my awful past. The scars that proved why I was the way I was.

"I didn't know he was..."

"Yeah, he did!" I said quickly, trying to fix my shirt and putting my backpack over my back to cover my scars. Nobody had seen them and I hated to feel like this, so... so exposed. "He did the same to you. That's why you left first."

That's why even when I was a complete jerk and didn't give a damn about any person of the group all those months ago, I helped Cecilia. That's why I let her sleep in my tent, that's why I used to stay close to her when I wasn't out hunting, I wanted to protect her. I wanted her to have someone there for her because I didn't have someone to be there for me. I know what it feels like and I didn't want her to keep going through the same things I did, I just wanted to make things better for her.  
"I had to, man." I heard Merle saying to me as I finally stood up and started walking. "I would have killed him otherwise."

My shirt was completely ripped but luckily I had my backpack to cover my back. Even when I was alone I hated my back to be naked, I always had to be wearing something, that way the truth could be ignored a bit.

I took a deep breath trying to stop thinking about it, about my father, about all those times I was all alone because Merle wasn't there, because my mother wasn't there, because no one was there.

I kept walking without looking back at Merle, not even a single time. Now I knew what I had to do.  
"Where you going?" he shouted at me, finally making me stop in my tracks and I turned to look at him.

"Back where I belong," I said without hesitation, without doubt. It shocked me a bit because it was true, I belonged there, I belonged with them, I finally felt like that and it made me feel such a huge joy in my heart, the feeling I got when I said those words aloud knowing they were true was inexplicable.  
"I can't go with you!" Merle told me. "I tried to kill that black bitch, damn near killed the Chinese kid."  
"He's Korean," I said quickly.  
"Whatever!" he exclaimed in an annoyed tone. "Doesn't matter, man. I just can't go with you."  
"You know," I said, raising my hand and pointing the arrow I was holding at him, feeling my voice starting to break a bit. "I may be the one walking away but you're the one that's leaving – again."  
And with that I walked away from my brother, it killed me, it really did because I love him with all my heart but I made the wrong choice by coming here with him, I should have never left.

Glenn, Maggie, Cecilia and Rick begged me to stay, I saw how sad, hurt and shocked they were when I decided to go with Merle, I couldn't realize it then but now I do, they care about me, maybe as much as I care about them, about most of them anyway. I can't say I have missed Sean or Teresa, but the others, I haven't stopped thinking about them.

I felt myself smiling at the memory of people actually being sad because I was leaving, I smiled at the memory of Rick's face when we said our farewells, or when Cecilia ran to me and wrapped her thin arms around my waist, I admit I didn't want to let go of her, for some reason I wanted to stay there forever, in her arms. It killed me to unwrap her arms from around me and walk away from her, leaving her, to what I noticed, broken.

"Damn it, damn it!" I heard Merle repeating some feet away from me. I just shook my head at him, trying to ignore him as I just walked faster, trying to get as fast as I could back to that prison.

Cecilia's POV

Glenn's coping was completely wrong. He wanted to attack Woodbury on his own, wanted revenge and none of us could get him back into his senses.

At the moment he was rushing towards a big pick-up I hadn't seen, they probably got it while I was gone for all those months. Hershel and I ran after him, being worried about him doing something stupid that could cost him his life.

"Glenn!" Hershel shouted again but more firmly, making Glenn finally stop. He walked towards the old man, looking pissed. "You're not going back to Woodbury, are you?"

"No. I'm just going out there."

"Then let me go with you," I told him.  
"No, I got it," he snap at me.

"We used to do this kind of things together all the time," I muttered, looking hurt.

"We used to, yeah, not anymore, things have changed and besides, one of your stitches snap or something, you are bleeding there," he said looking at my right arm, I put my left hand over it to cover it.

"It's nothing, you know that. I don't even feel it."

"I'll go," he said, turning away from us.  
"By yourself? How can you possibly think that's a good idea?" Hershel exclaimed. "You went on a simple formula run and got the crap beat out of you, Maggie was attacked."  
"Are you saying this is my fault?" Glenn asked raising his voice.

"No."  
"I did what I could!" Glenn exclaimed, glancing at me for a second before looking back at Hershel, he probably blamed me for this.  
"I know you did, so does Maggie. She's one of the two people most precious to me in this world. I trust you with her life. I still do," Hershel told him. "But this rage is going to get you killed."  
"With Daryl gone and Rick wandering Crazytown, I'm the next in charge," Glenn exclaimed to us and walked away, towards the pick-up.  
"What are you proving?" Hershel exclaimed but Glenn didn't turn around again, he simply got into the vehicle and drove away. Leaving me alone with Hershel. Carl, who opened the first gate to let Glenn out, ran to me once he closed it again and I put an arm around his shoulder.

"Come on," I muttered, I tried to turn us both around but Carl wouldn't bulge, he just kept looking out at the woods in front of us. I noticed Hershel was going towards the fence, I assumed he was going for Rick.

"Thanks for being here," he whispered to me.

"You don't have to thank me for that," I said, removing the sheriff hat and kissing the top of his head, before putting the hat back on his head.

I didn't want to admit it but the group was shattering. The leader was like Glenn said, in Crazytown, Daryl was gone, Maggie was pushing everyone away, Glenn was being consumed by rage, Sean barely talked to anyone, my mother was too busy flirting with Axel, Teresa and Oliver weren't the same anymore, I noticed they hadn't even looked at each other, and when they did they just glared, Carl was just a broken kid, Beth's attention was all for Judith, Michonne wasn't even considered part of the group, Hershel was trying to control the situation but it was getting out of his hands and then there was me, who was struggling to not plummet to the ground and keep my shit together because I felt like I was the last standing pillar in here, supporting everyone else, and if I gave up and fell, then everyone was going to hit bottom.

Even if it required all my emotional and mental strength, I had to keep strong, not only for Carl this time but for everyone else. I had to keep this group together, maybe that's why I was back at such a difficult time, maybe that's what I was meant to do.

Hello guys, I haven't written in Daryl's POV in like forever, what do you think of it?

Who watched the Season finale? I honestly think it was a bit boring, I was expecting way more. Who do you think Negan killed? My bet would be either Abraham or Eugene

QOTD: Do you guys like the quotes at the start of each chapter?


	29. Chapter 29 - War Just Begins

"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow.

Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like."

― Lao Tzu

"Want to go inside?" I asked Carl with a smile. "I still haven't carried your little sister, come on."

We turned around and were walking back inside when I heard a piercing, loud scream. I didn't think about it, I just step in front of Carl, shielding him with my body, as I tried to get us somewhere safe, but the closest I found to safety was a garbage container. I hid behind it and ordered Carl to stay down.

I heard several gunshots, they seemed endless. I tried to look around, to check that my friends and family were okay but I couldn't see anyone for a long time. I leant my back against the container and hugged Carl tightly, who was terrified.

Then everything went quiet, after what felt like an eternity the gunshots just stopped, it seemed almost bizarre. Several quiet seconds passed but I didn't dare to move, actually I couldn't.

But then I heard Maggie screaming her sister's name and then mine. She threw a rifle at me just before I heard gunshots again. Carl caught the rifle and handed it to me quickly and I finally got back to my senses. I switched positions, being on my knees now. I tried to see without exposing my head too much and saw some men, I started shooting, I wasn't sure if I had shot them or not, but I was trying. I moved a bit to the left and pointed at a man, unfortunately the Governor wasn't in my range, I pulled the trigger and about a second later the man fell down on the ground, just before I hid my body again.

Then once again everything went quiet except for the sound of a car driving to us. At first I freaked out, thinking Glenn was coming back, all I could do was hope he could notice what was happening before he was shot.

Fortunately, it wasn't him but unfortunately, it was them. A van was driving very fast towards us. I started to shoot at it but the van just kept coming, going right through the gates, ripping them out. The van stopped on the grassy area, only a few metres away from the actual prison. Then I saw the back gate of the van just fell to the ground, becoming some kind of ramp and the next thing I knew was that at least two dozen and a half of walkers came out of that van.

Two men, all dressed in black, jumped out of it and started shooting as they ran away, I risked myself a bit by crawling a bit further to the right so I could have a better angle to shoot at least one of them. I shut everything else out and just focused on one of the men as he tried to get away, I pulled the trigger, I didn't shoot him at first but I eventually did, the man fell to the ground and soon two walkers got to him. I couldn't see the other man. The rest of the Governor's men, who were on the other side of the fence, were just getting back inside their car, so I concentrated on the walkers instead.

'Wait, wasn't Hershel out there? And Rick?' I thought and as I did, I saw Hershel getting up and shooting one of the walkers.

All of us got out from our hiding places and ran to the grassy area to kill the walkers and save Hershel. I ran closer to the old man, I was determined to save him. I killed about five as I made my way to him, I also noticed Michonne was running to him, beheading several walkers in the process, she got to him at the same time as Glenn... wait, Glenn? When did he get back? Anyway, they took the old man inside the pick-up, at least they were safe now.

I slowed down, and saw Rick on the other side of the fence, struggling with at least two walkers. I ran to him, trying to help him but five or so walkers cornered me. I shot two that were in front of me, I pulled the trigger to shoot the rest but nothing happened, I pulled it again in desperation and nothing again. I cursed out loud as I gripped the weapon tightly and hit one walker in the head with it, it was too heavy and I was going to get tired soon, so I threw it to the ground and grabbed my knife, killing the other two but by now there were more walkers coming to me.

I won't deny it, I freaked out. I had no more bullets, no way to run and there were now at least ten of them. I gathered all my courage and ran to the closest to me, thrusting the knife forcefully in its skull, quickly I pulled it out and did the same to five more. I looked in front of me and saw five walkers only inches away from me, at the same distance from me. I knew it was my end, even if I managed to kill four without getting a single scratch the fifth will get to me, there was no way out now, and I couldn't run because I practically had the fence against my back.

I decided to go fighting, I wasn't going to die as a coward, I lunged at the first one on my left and killed it quickly I was about to go for the second when it just fell to the ground, I just stared in shock at the walker now on the floor with my hand raised, ready to hit him, soon that one was followed by the four others, who were only at arms-length away from me, one second more and they would had been able to put their rotting hands and maybe mouths on me.

I was in utter shock, I took several deep breaths to recover and looked in the direction where I thought the bullets had come from and I was bewildered to see Merle, lifting his left arm to his forehead and doing a salute to me. I did the same in a thank-you matter before he turned to kill more walkers that were around him and Rick and Daryl, woah, what... Daryl? I was so scared my brain didn't really concluded that with Merle here, it meant Daryl was back as well.

But I didn't have time to give it much thought, there were still walkers around and with the gates out of the picture, more were going to get in. Luckily we still had one more gate and everyone else, except the four of us were safe.

There were too many for me to kill, I only had two options. Run to the prison, where everyone else was safely behind the gate, or run out of the grounds of the prison where Rick, Merle and Daryl where. They had gotten rid of all the walkers around them and they were closest, so after thinking about it for just one second, I ran outside, as fast as I could, luckily most of the walkers were paying attention to the group behind the fence, not to me, and the ones that were, well I just either evaded them or killed them quickly.

I kept running to the three men and I bumped into one of them, making the two of us collapse to the floor. I was running so fast I couldn't stop, just slowed down a bit. I was breathing heavily due to the running and I was still scared to death. I almost died and in a horrible way. I looked at the man next to me, to see Rick, breathing as heavy as me.

"Are you okay?" he asked me, I nodded.

"You?"

"Fine."

Then Merle helped me up as Daryl helped Rick up. I never thought I would ever do this but I actually hugged Merle.

"Thank you," I muttered quickly before I pulled away.

"It was nothing," he said awkwardly.

I looked down to the ground, feeling really awkward as well. I don't normally hug people, I usually try to stay away from them but he saved my life, I was still feeling really agitated and I didn't think much about it, it was just an impulse.

"What? No hug for me?" I heard Daryl saying, I turned to look at him and glared at him.

"No," I coldly said. I could see his shocked reaction but said nothing to me.

I turned around, and just as Rick, I looked what was ahead of us, our home was destroyed and invaded. Walkers were roaming around while our people were cornered inside the prison. Soon, Merle and Daryl, stood next to us and looked at it too, Merle probably didn't feel anything about it, I probably didn't feel as bad as Rick and Daryl because I had just gotten here a few days ago but it still crushed my heart.

"We have to go back inside with the others, check if anyone is wounded," Rick said. "Let's just run back."

"Give me a second to rest," I exclaimed quickly.

I rested my back against the fence, I was still out of breath from my sprint all the way here. Daryl was standing next to me, looking sadly at the damage the Governor made, Merle was next to him, still looking uncomfortable and Rick was astonished, standing on my other side.

"Alright let's go," Rick said after about five minutes. "We can't risk being out here any longer, all those gunshots are going to attract even more walkers. Let's go!"

I pushed myself off the fence, Rick got on the lead, Daryl following him close behind, I was behind him and Merle was on the very back, we were just walking now, we were going to run, once we had crossed the space where the first gate should be.

" _We don't have the luxury of being mad at someone anymore."_

I closed my eyes tightly as I heard Carl's voice in my head, over and over again. He said that to me the day after we came back from Woodbury, that's why he forgave me so quickly.

I felt like my heart was being gripped tightly and squashed inside of me, because it was true. I shouldn't even be upset at Daryl for leaving. He chose his brother, it's completely reasonable, I couldn't help but think I was being silly but I just felt such a big rage when I saw him and I didn't even know why, I should be happy not upset.

Without being able to resist the urge, I quickly wrapped my arms around Daryl, hugging him from behind, making the two of us stop in our tracks and Merle bumped into me, he muttered something but I couldn't catch what, and still I didn't let go of Daryl.

"I'm sorry," I muttered against his backpack, which was in the way but it wasn't like I could do something about it now.

"About what?" he asked confused.

Rick kept walking, not noticing the three of us had stopped following him. Merle was a few feet away from us, fidgeting, probably wondering if he should leave us alone and go with Rick or keep his distance from Rick and stay with us.

"I was being ridiculous, truth is that I'm enormously happy you're back," I said and seconds later I let go of him, giving him the chance to turn around to face me.

"I should have never left, I'm the one that should be sorry," he said to me looking straight into my blue eyes.

"But you are back now, that's all that matters," I said with a smile.

I was about only one or two inches shorter than him so I slightly leant forward and kissed his left cheek, I smiled at him before walking past him. Leaving him completely dumbstruck, Merle had to snap his fingers and tapped him on the shoulder to get him out of that kind of trace he was in.

"What happened to him?" Rick asked, as he walked to meet me, finally noticing none of us was behind him.

"I don't know," I said too innocently.

"I'll go get him, we need to get inside quickly."

After Rick went for the two brothers, we ran back to the prison. I was right behind Rick, and Daryl was behind me. When we were halfway to the gate, I move quickly out of the reach of a walker, I stumbled, lost my balance and fell to the ground, before I could even try to stand up, Daryl grabbed my hand and pulled me up in less than a second.

"Come on!" he said just as that same walker was trying to get us.

I didn't even think it twice, I started to run away, this time we were in the very back while Merle was running behind Rick, who was killing one walker.

When we got to the safe area, my mother opened and closed the gate quickly to let us run in but stop the walkers from getting inside right after us.

I put my hand on my hip as I panted for air. I bent and I was going to rest my hands over my knees when I realized Daryl was still holding my hand. The two of us looked down at our intertwined hands and after about five seconds of just looking at our hands, not sure what to do now, we let go of the other and looked away, feeling completely awkward about it.

But I couldn't worry about it, I could barely breath. I was a good distance runner, I could run for a while at a steady pace but run as fast as I did, minutes ago, especially after fighting against several walkers takes its toll on you.

As the group gathered around Daryl and said things like 'good to see you're back', or 'welcome back', or things like that, I looked at them. I counted them mentally, six of us weren't here.

"Where is Carl?" Rick and I asked at the same time.

"Don't worry, he's inside," my mother said mostly to Rick. "Judith is well too, Beth went inside to check on her, all that noise scared her."

I was so startled that it took me a while to finally realize who was also missing besides Beth and Carl. Sean, Axel, Teresa and Hershel weren't here.

I didn't even think about it twice, I walked towards Oliver, grabbed his arm and spun him around, looking straight into his dark blue eyes.

"Where is Teresa?" He looked down to the ground and I felt my heart shattering.

"She was shot," he told me. "Sean carried her inside, Hershel is in there, seeing how bad the damage is and what he can do to help her."

As soon as he said that all my exhaustion was gone and adrenaline flew through my veins, without thinking I ran inside the prison, ignoring my aching muscles and accelerated heartbeat.

I ran all around the prison until I found them, which wasn't hard, I just followed a blood path. Teresa had been laid on a table, Sean was next to her, helping Hershel with whatever he asked, Axel was also there, sitting close to them, he was hugging himself, with tears in his eyes.

I rushed to Teresa's side and I almost faint at the amount of blood I saw. Her clothes were completely drenched in bright scarlet blood, which kept flowing out of her. Both Sean and Hershel were stained with her blood.

I felt like the ground below me was spinning, everything started to get blurry and the voices seemed very distant and unclear. I felt light-headed, I wanted to sit down but I couldn't move, my body wasn't responding.

Just as I felt like my legs were going to give in, I felt someone grabbing me by my biceps and pulling me away from there, they let go of my arm and instead put their arm around my shoulders in a protective way as I shook my head in disbelief.

I looked up to see Glenn with tears in his dark brown eyes, he quickly looked away from me and led me away. We sat on the metal stairs, I rested my elbows against my knees and ran my hands through the top of my head, messing even more my already messy blonde hair.

Quick flashbacks were passing through my mind until I heard that scream, the scream that let me know something was wrong and it was not until now that I recognized her voice, that scream belonged to Teresa. At the moment I wasn't even sure if a woman had screamed but now as I replayed it in my head, everything fit. It could only have been her.

"I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you before I left," Glenn suddenly said, stopping my flashbacks. "I came back earlier to come for you and go together like we used to do because now that you are here things will get back to the way they used to be, us going on runs, now with Maggie occasionally, but that's the only change, I promise."  
"I understand, Glenn," I muttered. "I know you didn't really mean it. You are angry, you want revenge, you were obfuscated. I get it."

"So, are we good?" he asked, sticking his hand out to me.

"Of course," I said with a tiny smile, shaking his hand. "Only if we go on the next run together, though."

"We will."

Hershel had done what he could to Teresa, who was barely alive now. They had an artificial manual breather, which my mother had in her hands, pumping air into Teresa's lungs.

Hershel also helped Axel, who was shot on his thigh, he cleaned the wound and stitched him up. Now that he was no longer bleeding the wound was not life threatening, he only had to make sure to keep it clean so it wouldn't get infected.

After he was done Hershel came up to me, I wasn't sure why he was here, maybe he was here to tell me that Teresa didn't make it but fortunately that wasn't the case.

"We never fix that," Hershel said to me, pointing to my right arm, to my wound that now was even worse than before, more stitches were missing and I hadn't noticed but my shirt was stained with blood around the wound.

Glenn helped me to get myself on my feet and walked with me back to where both, Teresa and Axel were, along with my mother.

I was so out in my own little world that I didn't feel anything as Hershel stitched me again, Glenn was in front of me, grabbing my left hand in a way to show his support. Almost by the time Hershel was done, Michonne sat next to me without saying a single word, I was used to that.

"Thanks Hershel," I said to the old man, who finally could rest after the chaos of only a couple of hours ago. "How's everyone?"

"In shock and scared," Hershel told me. "But everyone else is well."

"That's good," I said nodding. "I'll go rest now, if you need me just call me."

I stood up slowly and shakily went up the stairs and went to the cell I had chosen only this morning, I couldn't keep sleeping with Beth, especially in a bed so small as these and I wanted to be on the top floor, better up here than down there and most of these cells were empty, so that meant a bit more privacy.

For most of the time, I was left alone, I only had two visitors. Michonne came to make sure I was really okay and to tell me, the group had locked Merle in a cell and Daryl was trying to get Rick to open the gate. Minutes later my mum came and sat next to me on the bed, she said nothing, she just hugged me tightly. She knew how close Teresa and I were before the apocalypses and even when we had drifted away, I still loved her a lot and what happened to her was killing me inside.

"Don't lose hope, baby," she muttered in my ear before kissing my forehead. She let go of me and stood up, going to the door, leaving me feeling cold, empty and alone.

"Mum?"

"Yeah, darling?"

"Can you stay with me for a while?" I asked with tears threatening to roll out of my eyes, her own eyes, identical to mine, also looked glassy, sad, and tired.

"Of course, make me some space."

I scooted to the edge of the bed, my mum lied next to me, my back was facing her while my face was facing the wall, she settled herself in the same position as me and put her arm around me, I grabbed her hand and gripped it tightly. It had been so long since we had done this, maybe ten or twelve years ago and it felt nice to share this again, even in this kind of circumstances.

"I love you, don't forget that," she said to me as she once again kissed me, but this time on my temple.

"And I love you too," I whispered.

I closed my eyes, feeling safe in my mother's warm arms, something I never experienced before. She held me in her arms many times in the past but that never guaranteed safety, not even once. My father would just prize me off of her arms or hit us both, but this time was different. I relaxed under her touch and let myself doze off.

" _What do you think of this one?" Teresa asked me with a bright smile._

" _It's amazing."_

 _The apartment wasn't big of course, it had two tiny rooms, a small kitchen and a living room where we could only fit a small couch but the whole place was surrounded by a balcony, which helped a lot with my claustrophobia and it had a great view, we were on the thirteenth floor, which was also bad, I didn't like lifts, if I could prevent it, I wouldn't go inside one, even if that meant going up the stairs thirteen floors every day._

" _I'll call Oliver and let him know, the price is acceptable and it's close to pretty much everything."_

 _Teresa and I were just starting over, looking for jobs, looking for a place to live, buying furniture, we were quite excited about it and Oliver had been helping us with lots of things, including a discount on the rent and he had called a friend of his to let us stay with her while we found something._

" _I told you everything was going to work out and about the rest, you'll see we'll figure out something, just have some faith," she told me with a big smile on her face._

" _We still haven't gotten the apartment so I wouldn't get my hopes up so much," I told her as I looked at the amazing view from what could be my room. Lately I had been extremely negative about life that even Teresa was getting sick of my attitude._

" _Oh shut up, Cici!" she exclaimed angrily at me. "We got out of there, we haven't slept on the streets a single day and we have food and clothes and there are people that care about us."_

" _I'm just saying that I have had many disappointments in my life to be so naïve to expect the best only to have my hopes shattered down to the ground, I'm just being realistic."_

 _Teresa knew that if she said something else to me, it would become a heated argument because that's what normally had been happening between us, argument after argument after argument and I was too proud to just let her win but she wasn't and normally knew when to stop._

" _Come on," she muttered to me._

 _The girl that was letting us stay at her place, Nicole, had invited us to some cafeteria close to her house. We didn't have jobs and no money so we promised we would pay her back every cent but she was wealthy, both ways, economically and generously, so sometimes, like that day, she invited us to a coffee and a dessert._

" _Oliver's on his way here," Nicole told us as she took a sip from her Cappuccino._

" _I can't wait to tell him we might have found our future home, right Cici?"_

" _Right," I muttered under my breath, making Teresa sigh._

 _I hated to feel that way, so miserable and negative but I had left my family looking for a better chance, to change my life only to have more failures and bad things happening to me, and out of all those awful things meeting Teresa was the only good thing that had come out of it._

" _She's on her period," Teresa whispered to Nicole, who nodded in understanding. They both thought I didn't hear but I just chose to ignore them._

 _Minutes later Oliver came and as soon as he saw us, he kissed Teresa full on the lips. He patted my back and hugged Nicole tightly just before he sat next to the blonde girl even when he wanted to sit next to Teresa but I wouldn't move._

 _After I finished my coffee I felt a lot better, I even smiled and laughed a bit and joined the conversation. Coffee was magical._

" _I propose you something," Oliver said to Teresa and I. "I'll move in with you and will pay my part of the rent, I need a new place anyway."_

" _Sounds perfect to me!" Teresa said excitedly._

" _Yeah," I agreed. "It's cool with me."_

" _Great! I'll call my friend and tell him we'll get it!" Oliver almost squealed. "I can sleep in the living room if you want, you won't even know I'm there. I work most of the time."_

" _Oh no, you can sleep with me," Teresa told him, putting a hand over his that was on the table. Oliver smiled. "We'll manage."_

 _Three days later Teresa and I moved in, Oliver stayed three more weeks in his apartment because he had already paid for the whole month but he was already moving some stuff in our place, which was helpful because we didn't even have silvery or dishes or pans._

 _That weekend, Teresa, Nicole, Oliver, some other people and I went out to celebrate like never before. I even hooked up with a guy that worked as a model, he was very attractive and had an amazing body. Teresa cheered as she noticed I was finally having fun and I truly laughed in about a month._

 _We headed to our new apartment, to our new 'home' around 07:00 having not a care in the world and for the first time in so long I felt like things were going to improve. A flash of hope was starting to grow inside of me and that was all I needed to keep trying._

I opened my eyes to see it was already night and my mother was still next to me, sleeping peacefully, I turned around to face her instead of the wall and put my arm around her as well as my eyes watered, remembering I dreamt with that happy time about two years ago, when Teresa was well, optimistic and cheerful.

I moved closer to her and closed my eyes again, praying Teresa to be well again, to recover from this, so she could be my voice of wisdom and give me hope as she always did since the day I met her.

"Please, Teresa, you have to get better, I need you," I whispered, looking up at the ceiling just before closing my eyes again and falling asleep but this time my dreams weren't good ones.

Hey guys!  
So, as some of you may know I created the TWD characters in The Sims 2, Lori and Shane already died. Everything is going like in the show except that Carol actually kissed Rick after Lori died, I realized it way too late and couldn't stop it. And I also created Cecilia and I wanted to wait to get them together but when I was with other characters Daryl kissed Cecilia and they are together now. Oh well.

I made a TWD multicouple crossover video, and it would mean a lot if you guys can watch it, here's the link:

watch?v=DFu0-dYJAAg

And Daryl and Cecilia finally reunited, yay! :) Do you think Teresa will make it or not? Do you want her to live or die?


	30. Chapter 30 - Cornered

"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving."

Albert Einstein

*Daryl's POV*

Ear-piercing screams were heard not far from where I was. I stood up quickly and rushed to a cell only two cells away from mine. I ran in and saw Cecilia tossing and kicking in her sleep, she was sweating and crying as she kept screaming incomprehensible words.

The rest of the group was outside getting rid of some of the walkers so they wouldn't ruin the last fence we had and if possible, try to fix the other fences. Hershel and Maggie were taking care of Teresa, Merle was locked up and Axel was resting, his wound was quite nasty. So, it was just me who rushed in here.

"Cecilia!" I said loudly as I put my hands on top of her shoulders and shook her, gently at first. "Cecilia, Cecilia! Goddamn it Peletier!"

She wouldn't wake up, she just kicked even more and tried to hit me so I grabbed her wrists to stop her from hitting me and then shook her quite harshly now until I saw her opening those light, gorgeous blue eyes of hers, but filled with fear and sorrow this time. She sat up quickly, still being really shaken up, she crawled away from me.

"It's okay, it's okay," I said softly, my hands were still on her shoulders. "It's alright, it was just a bad dream. It's okay."

She blinked and looked down at the floor, panting. She grabbed the end of her shirt to run over her face to dry the sweat and the tears and I noticed she had some faint abs muscles showing on her flat stomach, which was incredibly sexy but this was not the time to be noticing that kind of stuff.

"I dreamt Teresa died over and over again," she muttered to me, with a hand over her chest. "It was horrible."

I knelt in front of her so I could look at her since she was refusing to look up at me, tears were still in her eyes and drops of sweats kept running down her forehead. She tried to dry her face once again before looking back at me, but her face didn't stay dry for long, she kept sweating.

"It was just a dream," I repeated. "She's still here. She's a fighter."

Hershel, Carol, Maggie and Sean had been trying hard to keep her alive. She lost so much blood and her heartbeat was dangerously low and she wasn't able to breathe without help but I wasn't going to tell Cecilia that now.

"Want some water?" I asked her, she nodded at me. The tears had stopped by now but the sweat hadn't. "You should probably change that shirt."

She was wearing a grey shirt that showed wet patches all over it, mostly around the neck. She didn't even react to my words, she still had an empty look on her eyes and she was still slightly shaking but that had almost stopped by now.

I sighed, knowing what I had to do. I stood up, grabbed her two hands that were extremely cold and pulled her up to her feet as slowly as I could manage, I quickly rubbed her two arms with my hands to warm her up, her arms were just as cold as her hands.

"I'll change your shirt, you can't stay like that," I informed her so I wouldn't freak her out by me taking off her shirt.

I grabbed a dry, clean shirt from her bag, walked back to her, put the shirt in between my legs while I grabbed the tips of the sides of the shirt she was wearing and slowly pulled it up, she slowly lifted her arms just before I got the shirt over her head and threw it to a corner as she let her arms drop to her sides.

I tried really hard to not look at her stunning body, at her black bra or at the faint freckles she had just under her prominent collarbones and on her shoulders. I grabbed the clean shirt from in between my legs and this time I quickly put it on her.

I led her to the sink that was inside the cell and helped her bent down a bit so I could clean her face from the sweat. Once done I helped her dry it with my own shirt, even when at first she refused. Then with an arm around her waist I led her to our kitchen. I made her sit on a bench while I went to search for a bottle of water, once I found one I rushed to her side and handed it to her, she uncapped it and took a sip.

"Thank you," she muttered.

"No problem," I told her as I sat next to her.

"Daryl?" she said softly.

"Yeah?"

"Why did you come back?" she looked at me, her eyes widened instantly after the words left her mouth. "I mean, it's not th-that I don't want you here be-because I do but I was just wondering, what changed your mind?"

"I was miserable out there," I told her with a sigh. "I had to go out there to realize I belong here with all of you and well I mi... I, I , nothing, forget it."

"What? You can tell me," she said just before she took another sip from the bottle.

"It's nothing important."

"If it isn't, then it won't matter if you tell me. I'm curious and you won't get away from this, you have no choice but to tell me, Daryl." I sighed in defeat.

"I missed you, alright," I said in a bit annoyed tone, feeling a bit on the spot. "You had just gotten back here. I thought you were dead, I thought I'd never see you again but I did. I wanted to spend some time with you, I didn't really want to leave."

"I missed you too," she told me, I never thought someone would say those words directed to me. I was shocked, but instead of looking surprised, I actually smiled, those simple four words made me feel this funny feeling inside, in the pit of my stomach and all I could do was smile at her. "You have no idea how much."

"Really?" I asked before I could stop myself, she nodded at me.

"I was very tempted to go with you when Merle offered it. I have nothing against Merle and you are the person I'm closest to but I couldn't leave Carl, I couldn't leave Michonne either. I couldn't."

"Well, I'm back now, so it doesn't matter."

"You won't leave again, right?" she asked in a weak tone, almost being afraid of asking it.

I sighed, even when I wanted to assured her with all my heart that I would never leave, I couldn't. I would never pick the choice to leave her, that's for sure, but any of us could get kidnapped, could get separated because of walkers or die, I didn't even want to think about that.

"I promise I'll never choose to leave," I said, picking my words carefully, she looked satisfied with my answer.

I put my right hand in my pocket and felt something inside and then I remembered I had her Cartman earring, the one I found when I was looking for her and Sophia. I never got the chance to give it to her before the farm got overrun and I didn't have the heart to just throw it away after her 'death'. I used to keep it safe inside my bag for months and I would grab it at night sometimes, just remembering her. Her smile, her laugh, her eyes, just her.

I put it inside my pocket last night when I saw it among my things and I was planning to give it to her but she was already sleeping. I looked at her and noticed she didn't have the pair of the earring, she must have lost it months ago or she thought wearing only one wasn't worth it. I took it out and extended my arm to give it to her.

Hey eyes scanned the object for a few seconds, she looked confused until she gasped and took the earring in her left hand. She smiled up at me before looking at it again.

"How did you get it?"

"Found it in a house when you got lost, I kept it as a clue that you were around," I told her. "I didn't even remember I had it," I lied. "Until I looked inside my bag and saw it there."

"Thank you," she told me with a smile. "I thought I would never get it back. I have the pair in my backpack."

"So, you liked South Park?" I asked her with a tiny smirk forming in my lips.

"You kidding? I loved that show, I never missed it."

"I liked it too, even when they were cartoons."

We kept talking about that stupid show, remembering certain episodes and funny moments. She even looked happy for a few minutes but then her smiled dropped when she saw Oliver walking in to get something before he walked out just as quickly, saying no words to any of us.

"I, uh – I dreamt that Teresa died in so many ways, each one was awful but the last one, the dream you woke me up from, was by much the worst. Teresa was bit in her shoulder, a big hunch of it was missing. She turned, ate Oliver and Sean first, the rest of you were either gone or dead. She came for me, I was cornered, I couldn't escape, she scratched my arm when I tried to evade her, I fell to the ground and she started to take bites from me, it was so painful."

"It wasn't real," I muttered as I rubbed her back, noticing how her voice was starting to break. "That won't happen."

"I looked into her eyes but she was gone, you know? It hurt me so much to see her like that, well, her body at least because she wasn't there anymore."

"If she... if she doesn't make it I promise we won't let her turn."

"Where is everybody else?" she asked me, changing the subject after she took a very deep breath and nodded at me.

"Outside, trying to fix the gate."

"What are you doing here, then?" I chuckled.

"I offered to take care of Little Ass-Kicker, she has slept since Beth fed her before she left to help, I was surprised she didn't wake up with your screams." When I said that she blushed a bit. "I'm glad about it because I wouldn't be able to take care of both."

"How is Merle?"

"Pissed off, as usual. I think it will do him good being in there for a while," I told her. "I'll let Rick leave him in there a little longer but then I'll try to get him out."

"He's not entirely bad, you know?" she softly said to me with a small smile on her pink lips.

"What do you mean?"

"He's impulsive and is not afraid of his actions or even cares about them but he has a heart, buried very deep inside of him but he has one. I was going to leave with Michonne that day and Merle knew what the Governor wanted to do so he warmed me," she told me. "He didn't explicitly tell me but by the look on his eyes and the way he almost begged me to stay I caught on with what he meant and back at camp before the roof thing he confronted my father a couple of times, if you want to convince Rick to release him, count me on."

"He really did that?" I asked in shock.

"Yeah. I tried to get him to stop hunting Michonne and he told me he couldn't because if it wasn't Michonne, it would be him. He had no choice. I forgive him for trying to kill her and for taking us there. I'm glad you found him, I know how much you care about him."

"I'm glad you found us."

She smiled up at me and nodded at me. "I'm more glad than you that I found you all."

"Come on, I'm supposed to keep an eye on the baby."

We walked back to what I think is my cell now, I didn't like the idea of sleeping in a cage but sometimes having at least a bit of privacy was nice and where I was sleeping before I left didn't really give me that.

I noticed Judith was just waking up so I took her in my arms before she started crying. Cecilia just sat on my bed, watching me with a smile on her face. I took the bottle Beth had prepared for her before she left and sat next to Cecilia on the bed.

I shook the bottle before giving it to Judith, which was her name now but I still would call her Ass-Kicker, always. She immediately started to suck on it and drink the formula. Cecilia wasn't looking at me anymore but at the baby in my arms. Hesitantly, she stroked her little head and eventually her hand, Cecilia's finger actually ended up wrapper around one of Judith's small hands. She smiled more at it.

"She has quite an appetite, huh?" she commented when she was almost done with the bottle.

"You have no idea how much she eats," I told her with a chuckle.

"She's adorable," she whispered, glancing at me for a second before looking back at Judith.

"Do you want to hold her?" I asked as I put the now empty bottle next to me on the bed.

"Uh, sure," she said nervously.

As careful as I could, I handed her the baby. I looked at her and noticed how nervous Cecilia was. I rubbed her arm to calm her down a bit.

"Never held a baby before?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Not this young and not for a long time," she told me. "I used to take care of So... of Sophia when she was a baby, and I don't know, I'm just awkward around babies, unlike you."

"It's not hard," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "It's easier to be with a kid than a grown up, easier to handle them."

It was then when we heard the front door of the prison being opened, followed by at least five different voices. I was going to go meet them when Cecilia stopped me and told me to take Judith from her. She stood up as I approached her, I got closer to her and as I was taking Judith in my arms I looked right at Cecilia's eyes, I stayed frozen in place, staring at those eyes, we were so close.

It wasn't until now that I realized how many tiny freckles she had on her face. I had seen a few but this close I saw she actually had more really faint and small ones that I hadn't noticed before and I hadn't really seen her eyes this close. They were three different shades of blue, making the unique colour I had always seen from afar. They were more beautiful now.

I heard Rick's voice again, making me snap out of my trance. I must have looked like an idiot. I finally took the baby in my arms and quickly walked out of my cell, followed by Cecilia. We stayed upstairs since there was no need for us to go down, we heard them well enough. Everyone was in here with the exception of Axel and Teresa, but Hershel was here, meaning Axel was probably helping the girl with the artificial breather.

The rest of them were discussing about leaving or staying at the prison. Half of us wanted to stay, the other half wanted to go. Beth went up the stairs and approached me, quickly taking Judith in her arms, it was her job to take care of her but today she wanted some fresh air, wanted to feel more helpful I guess.

"We're not leaving!" Rick said sternly.  
"We can't stay here," Hershel said.  
"What if there's another sniper? A wood pallet won't stop one of those rounds," Maggie added, Beth didn't want to stay either, making the whole Greene family in one group.  
"Rick says we're not running, we're not running," Glenn exclaimed.  
"No, better to live like rats," Merle exclaimed from inside his cell.  
"You got a better idea?" Rick asked him, keeping himself calm.

"Yeah, we should have slid out of here last night and lived to fight another day. But we lost that window, didn't we? I'm sure he's got scouts on every road out of this place by now."  
"We ain't scared of that prick," I told him from upstairs.  
"Y'all should be," he said, looking up at me. "That truck through the fence thing, that's just him ringing the doorbell. We might have some thick walls to hide behind, but he's got the guns and the numbers. And if he takes the high ground around this place, shoot, he could just starve us out if he wanted to."

A long silence followed as the information dawned on everyone. He was right, he was with that man for months, he was like his right hand, he knew him better than all of us.

"Let's put him in the other cell block," Maggie said.  
"No!" Cecilia exclaimed before I could. "He's got a point."  
"This is all you!" Maggie shouted, at first I thought she was shouting at Cecilia but it was at Merle. "You started this."  
"What difference whose fault it is? What do we do?" Beth exclaimed quickly, going down the stairs again.

"I said we should leave, now Axel was shot and Teresa is almost dead." I heard Hershel said, I looked at Cecilia, who bit her lip at his words, her expression becoming sad all over again. "We can't just sit here!"

"That's another reason why we can't leave!" Sean exclaimed. "If we leave, Teresa will die for sure, Axel can't run, just like Hershel and what about Judith?"

No one said anything else after that. Rick actually turned around and walked away from Hershel, from us. Hershel stood up quickly, gripping his crutches, the man was furious, his face had gotten very red.

"Get back here!" he yelled. Rick didn't turn around but he stopped walking, Hershel went to him. "You're slipping, Rick. We've all seen it, we understand why but now is not the time. You once said this isn't a democracy now you have to own up to that. I put my family's life in your hands so get your head clear and do something."  
The little chat didn't end up in anything. We still hadn't decided if we were going to stay or not. Rick left, Hershel left too, probably to check on Teresa. Beth went into her cell with Judith and everyone just went their own way, this was just a waste of time.

"I'll go see Teresa," Cecilia told me, putting a hand on top of mine, which was gripping the rail. I looked from her hand to her face, which at the moment showed nothing more than sadness and fear.

She let her hand drop to her side before turning around and walking away from me, going down the stairs with her head hanging low. She was so down and I wished I could do something to cheer her up or make her forget what was going on, just for a few minutes at least.

"She has you wrapped around her finger, bro!" Merle exclaimed with a chuckle as soon as Cecilia was out of my sight.

"Shut up!" I said loudly, being annoyed by him and walked back into my cell, ignoring everything my brother was saying to me, which mostly concerned Cecilia.

* Cecilia's POV *

I walked into this big room where Teresa was. Axel was there, helping her to breathe and Hershel was checking her. There was still some dry blood on the table where she was, the blanket that covered her body had also stains of her blood.

"How is she?" I asked Hershel.

"Not good. If she can't breathe for herself we will have to make a hard decision soon. She lost so much blood, her heartbeat is barely there."

I stood next to her, I was about to hold her hand when I noticed she was cuffed to the table. At first I wasn't sure why but only seconds later I knew. She could die and become a walker at any time, they must know then, that no matter how you die, you just turn.

I heard the door being opened, I turned around and saw both, Sean and Oliver walking in. I smiled sadly at them before looking down at Teresa's pale face. Oliver stood next to me and put an arm around me, while Sean stood in front of us, on the other side of Teresa, while Axel just kept pumping air into her lungs.

"I was remembering when we went to our apartment before renting it, and we just fell in love with it," I told Oliver. "I remember how positive she was about life, how happy she was when we moved in, how everything was falling into place."

"Those were good times."

"Not so good but compared to now, they were great times."

"I want to save her, you know? But if she's suffering we should think about letting her go," Oliver whispered to me.

"What?" I asked in disbelief.

"You heard me. We don't have a machine to help her breathe, poor Axel has been doing that for the last two hours or so, we don't have blood to give her, her type is O negative, no one here has that type and we don't have many things she needs. I'm realistic and for once I'm surprised you aren't the one saying that."

"When I was realistic she told me to have faith, when I do you tell me to be realistic," I muttered. "I think I should have some hope for her, to not give up on her so easily."

About four hours passed. Maggie, Beth, my mother and now Glenn had pumped air to help her breathe while Hershel checked on her every half an hour or so. He said nothing to us after he was done but his face tells us everything, she's not getting better.

I was sat in between Sean and Oliver on the floor, with our backs against the cold, grey wall. I turned to look at Oliver and he didn't look so devastated, even when he had already said there was no hope for Teresa.

He looked sad but not sad enough, not like if we were about to lose Teresa. I also had noticed they had barely been talking, they didn't even share a cell.

"Oliver?" I muttered, he looked at me but said nothing. "What happened while I was gone?"

"Lots of things happened, Cici."

"I mean, between you two. I knew you before all of this and if things were still like that you would be next to her, holding her hand as you cry but now you haven't even shed a single tear."

Oliver shifted, looking uncomfortable and a bit upset. He sighed and turn to look at the floor. He started to play with his shoe laces. He always used to play with something whenever he was nervous.

"We broke up a long time ago," he told me, shocking me a lot. "We tried to fix things but we just ended up drifting away."

"What happened?"

He was quiet for a very long time and finally I saw his blue eyes watering a bit. Sean stood up in that moment to help Glenn with the breather, while I put my arm on his shoulder to let him know he could count on me.

"She got pregnant, Cici. She was and she didn't even bother to tell me. Remember I used to tell her how bad I wanted to form a family with her? Remember that?" I nodded at him. "Well, she probably forgot about it. She was bleeding a lot one day, I was freaking out, thought she was shot or stabbed or something but turned out she had taken some abortive pills and if it wasn't for Hershel she would have died. I understand this is not a world to have kids, it isn't even a world for adults but she kept it from me and made that decision, thinking I would never find out."

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"If she would have told me I would have supported her, you know? Even if I wanted her to have it but I understand the circumstances are so bad right now. I would have been there for her but she didn't care about me," Oliver said with a single tear falling down his face. "She said the group had enough with Lori and her pregnancy, they didn't need more problems and that she just wanted a more fair chance at surviving and the only thing she regretted was that I found out."

"She probably didn't mean it, Oliver."

"You weren't there, she did mean it. After that we kind of tried to stay together but it was a waste of effort, time, everything. She became cold towards me, she barely let me touch her, and I was supposed to be the one to be mad not her. I tried to put myself in her shoes and move on but you know what happened about two months after that?" I shook my head. "Guess, Cici, guess what happened."

"I don't know, Oliver, tell me what happened."

"I went on a run with Glenn and Maggie, we couldn't pass with the car and it was too dangerous to walk all the way to that place so we came back way earlier. I walked into our tent and saw her fucking Sean." He chuckled sarcastically then. "Can you believe it? Why didn't she just tell me? She should have told me that it was over instead of cheating on me."

I stayed silently next to him, feeling extremely shocked about everything he was telling me. Teresa wasn't like that, not the Teresa I once knew.

"Things went to shit after that, we just stand the other for the sake of the group, and that includes Sean. He changed so much after he found out his uncle was dead and Teresa wasn't good, mentally. She took your 'death' really bad, she used to blame herself but we all did take it bad, but that didn't change us in the way it changed her. Look at your mum, for example, she even knows how to shoot now, she can stand up for herself, she didn't fuck Rick or someone like that."

"This world changes people in so many ways, Oliver. It made my mum stronger, it made me stronger, it made you different too, and unfortunately Teresa was very unstable to handle it in the best way. I'm sorry she hurt you, I know how much the two of you loved each other."

"It's okay, I got over it a long time ago. It's better to not have someone to worry about, you know? Now I just worry about myself, makes life way easier."

With that he stood up and left, leaving me quite astonished at his cold words. Oliver wasn't like that, he was a sweet, caring and understanding guy. I didn't like this new Oliver at all.

Glenn joined me a few seconds later, sitting next to me. He looked sadly at me and I did the same, taking a deep breath.

"I never imagined what happened between them," I told him, knowing he heard us, or he knew what I was talking about, he was with them this whole time.

"I know, they were so in love when I met them. It got really awkward but we all got over that."

"Guys!" we heard Hershel in a panicked tone.

We both stood up as quickly as we could and rushed to Hershel's side, who was once again checking on Teresa.

"What? What is it?" I asked hysterically.

"Her pulse lowered even more, it's barely there, I'm sorry to say this but we can't do anything to help her."

Hershel ordered Sean to stop helping her to breathe, I wanted to take that thing and do it myself but a part of me knew it wouldn't help at all. Tears rolled down my face as I saw her chest go up and down for the last time ever until it just stayed still. She was gone.

Sean was crying so bad that his gun fell from his hand, he later collapsed to the floor, so Glenn grabbed his gun, pointed at Teresa's head and without hesitation pulled the trigger.

I ran out of there and went straight to my cell after I heard the shot, I didn't even look at Teresa one last time, that image would haunt my nightmares for weeks. I lied down and let the tears flow from my eyes and I did cry all night long but I promised myself I would move on and not allow myself to cry for her again. I couldn't let myself be down for another person, last time I did, I pushed everyone away and tried to kill myself.

I still remember how lonely and miserable I felt after Sophia died and if I let those feelings taking over me again, who knows if I would be able to beat them again, I didn't want to end up like Rick was at the moment, I needed to stand strong, so even if it hurt or even if I seemed heartless I wasn't going to cry for her more than one night.

Hello guys, so a bit of Daryl's POV :D What do you think?

QOTD: Do you like the quotes at the start of each chapter?

I'm in the middle of a tournament but I don't have to play today so that's why I'm updating. I have done so well in this tournament. I played so good in one match (even when I lost) that everyone congratulated me, even people I have never talked to and a man said he wants me be part of the team and wants me to go to a tournament in USA in September. Finally good things are happening!

Just so you know, I have had such a hard time in my sport but I have pushed through so I wanted to tell you all to not give up when things get hard, you will get your reward :)

And if people try to bring you down or make life hard it's just because they think you are a threat.


	31. Chapter 31 - A Rat

"Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody."

― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

The next morning everyone was being extremely delicate with me, like if with just a bad glance I would break down. It was quite annoying to say the truth, I missed her already and I was sad but I was okay.

Michonne was the only one that wasn't treating me differently. She sat next to me during breakfast and informed me they weren't able to fix the fence yesterday, she told me they killed a lot of the walkers with knives, being safely behind the last and only good fence, because there were too many out there and they would be wasting their ammo, because more came walking in now that was no gate.

"They opened the gate from Merle's cell," she told me. "I don't know how to feel about that."

"He won't do anything stupid, he is loyal to Daryl and he has nowhere else to go. He tried to save me and I trust he won't harm us."

Michonne just scoffed at me and stood up. I sighed and stood up as well, I was going back to my cell when I walked in front of Rick, Glenn, Hershel, Daryl and even Michonne had joined them, discussing what to do with our situation out there.

"I'll get up in the guard tower, take out half them walkers, give these guys a chance to fix the fence," Daryl said. I stopped walking and stayed next to Michonne, they all looked at me not knowing what do or say.  
"We can't access the field without burning through our bullets," Hershel said, breaking the silence.  
"So we're trapped in here," Glenn exclaimed irritated. "There's barely any food or ammo."  
"Been here before. We'll be all right," Daryl told him.  
"That's when it was just us, before there was a snake in the nest!"  
"Man, we gonna go through this again?" Daryl exclaimed, obviously having enough of Glenn's bullshit. "Look, Merle's staying here. He's with us now, get used to it!"

Daryl angrily walked away, going up the stairs, two at a time. I wanted to go after him but I decided to stay, maybe I could help.  
"Seriously, Rick, I don't think Merle living here is really gonna fly," Glenn said.  
"I can't kick him out," Rick exclaimed.  
"I wouldn't ask you to live with Shane after he tried to kill you!"

"Merle has saved me more than once, the other day he just saved me from my imminent death," I spoke, everyone turned to me again, not knowing what to say without breaking me, I just sighed out of frustration, I wasn't a porcelain doll, damn it.  
"Merle has military experience. He may be erratic, but don't underestimate his loyalty to his brother." I heard Hershel saying.  
"What if we solve both problems at once? Deliver Merle to the Governor, bargaining chip. Give him his traitor, maybe declare a truce."

"How can you even think like that?" I exclaimed horrified. "Merle is a person too!"

"He didn't consider me that when he had me there, when he had Maggie there! He didn't think I was a person when he tortured me! He threw a walker at me, Cecilia! I was tied to a chair, I almost died!" Glenn shouted at me just before he stormed away.  
As yesterday, the conversation ended in nothing. We were trapped inside the prison and didn't know what to do. It was too dangerous to go out there, not only because of the walkers but also because of the Governor and his people. He could come back at any time.

I had gone back to my room, I checked on Daryl first and he was lying on his stomach, apparently sleeping, probably pretending. He was really upset about people wanting Merle out and I understood that but I also understood Glenn.

I was resting on my bed when Michonne came to my cell, grabbed my arm and pulled me up, I just stared at her in an oddly way.

"Come on!" she said to me. "We need to relieve some stress."

Michonne led me back to the 'kitchen', she stopped in the middle of the room where there was a big empty space and sat down on the floor.

"What are you doing?" I asked her.

"Working out, thought it might be a good idea, come on!"

We stretched first for around three minutes before we started to do some push-ups, my wounded arm hurt and I was scared I was going to pop a stitch so I stopped doing them and instead did some lunges, beside Michonne.

My mother just eyed us weirdly, she was cooking something behind us. Michonne, Andrea and I but mostly the two us kept in form all these months by exercising regularly. We would do easy things that didn't need any equipment, which made my legs, stomach and arms tone in a very nice way, and all the running I was forced to do to keep alive burnt lots of my body fat and that helped my legs to have a better shape and to let my muscles show more and not being under the fat.

But due to not eating a lot, my body used part of my muscles as fuel as well, so I really wasn't as toned as I should be with all those workouts but I preferred it that way. I didn't want to look like a man or bulk up a lot, but it felt good to be in shape.

At that moment, Merle walked in, he had taped a knife around his right arm once again. He smirked when he saw us working out. As soon as we finished stretching, I had taken off my shirt to not sweat it, I barely had clothes now and we weren't sure when we could go out so I wasn't going to waste our soap, but now that Merle was in front of me, looking me up and down, I felt self-conscious and I would have preferred to be wearing my shirt, even when I was wearing a sport bra, so it didn't look that vulgar.

"Smart to stay fit, nice abs by the way," he said to me as both of us got on the ground to start doing crunches. "I always knew you were hot but not this hot, Blondie."

"Hey!" my mum exclaimed, Merle just raised his arms in surrender and leant backwards as he let out a small chuckle.  
"Don't leave out the cardio, girls," he said and then looked from me to Michonne. "You know, if we're gonna live under the same roof, we should clear the air."

Michonne didn't even glance at Merle, she kept her eyes fixed in front of her as she kept doing the crunches. I was really impressed with Merle, letting my lips turned into a small smile. Merle apologizing, well kind of, that must be a first.

"This whole hunting you down thing, that was just business, carrying out orders."

"Hmm," Michonne muttered, not believing his bullshit. "Like the Gestapo."  
"Yeah, exactly. I've done a lot of things I ain't proud of, before and after," Merle told her. "Anyway, hope we can get past it. Let bygones be bygones."

Then Merle stood up and turned to leave but stopped in his tracks and stayed put for a few seconds before he turned around again, his eyes on me as he walked to where I was. He knelt in front of me and smirked.

"You know," he whispered so my mother wouldn't hear him. "I just realized my baby brother actually has good taste in women."

"Excuse me?" I asked as I sat up and stopped my workout, I was too focused on Merle now that I didn't notice the smirk on Michonne's lips.

"Pretty face, can actually shoot, long blonde hair, smart, and a hell of a body as a bonus," he told me, still in a very quiet voice as he counted my attributes with his fingers. "You're the whole package, sweetheart."

"Hey, everything okay in there?" my mother exclaimed, noticing how close Merle was too me, whispering things, especially now that I was just wearing a sport bra.

"Everything is good," I said to her but never taking my eyes off of Merle.

"And you are a fiesty one as well, making everything more exciting," he said with a wink before standing up again and actually leaving this time.

Michonne just smirked and looked at me with a knowing look, I just looked at her like 'hell no' and shook my head at her.

"What?" I exclaimed.

"You know," she said her smirk never leaving her lips.

"You're insufferable, you know that?" I exclaimed in an annoyed way.

"No, the two of you are. I wasn't completely sure about Daryl because I don't know him but if Merle noticed it too then it must be true!" she exclaimed.

"What is true?" my mum asked me, walking next to us.

"Nothing important, mum," I said with a smile. "You know how Merle is."

"He didn't say anything out of place to you, did he?"

"No, mum, he actually behaves with me, well sometimes." I added the last part remembering when I gave him the map to the farm and the things he said to me. I shuddered at the thought.

"Alright, if he says something or even does something, you come straight to me or even Rick, understand?"

"Yeah," I said, getting really uncomfortable. "Now mum, let us finish our workout, I'm getting cold." She just rolled her eyes at me but she did walk out of the room, leaving Michonne and me alone. I started to do more crunches and maybe that way Michonne wouldn't talk to me about it again.

"Why do you refuse to accept it?" she asked me, I tried to ignore her as she ignored Merle at first. "Still not ready to tell me about your ex-boyfriend, remember you promised you would tell me."

"I thought we were exercising to relieve stress, I don't want to talk about him, you should have asked before doing this."

"Whatever happened, you should let it go and move on," she told me. "I can tell he's a good guy," referring to Daryl. "I'm sure he won't hurt you in any way. But he's just as stubborn or stupid as you so you should just go up there and kiss him, just like that."

"Woah, kiss who?"

I looked up, thinking my mother was back but the voice didn't belong to a woman. I froze and felt my cheeks go more red than what they already were from the exercise.

"Kiss? She said kill," I exclaimed quickly to none other than Daryl as I nervously chuckled.

"Kill?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at me. "Who do you want to kill?"

"A rat, he was just here! I hate rats!"

"A rat, huh? And you were sure it was a he?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Right," he muttered, unsure. "Why are you so red?"

"We were just working out with Michonne," I said quickly and then he looked at me, like really looked at me and his eyes got wide before he turned away and now he was the one blushing, never thought I would see Daryl blushing.

"Oh come on," I muttered. "It's not like I'm naked."

"Half naked," he muttered.

"You didn't care about it yesterday." _Okay that came out wrong._

"What?" Michonne exclaimed in disbelief with her hand over her mouth after she gasped.

"You were pretty bad!" Daryl muttered, turning around but avoiding to look at me. "I was helping you and..."

"Helping how? By undressing her?" Michonne asked with a smirk, making us blush even more.

"Sh-she was drenched in sweat, I w-was helping her!" Daryl stated, stuttering a bit. "And I wasn't even looking!"

"If you say so," Michonne muttered.

Daryl and I tried to explain to her what happened yesterday morning, we made sure to not leave out any detail and tried not to say things that could be bad interpretated but Michonne just kept smirking and dismissing our story and actually making everything like if we said it in double sense.

"It's the truth!" I exclaimed.

"Mhm," Michonne muttered.

I stood up and grabbed my shirt from the floor, sticking my tongue out at Michonne when I turned to look at her again.

"I'm going to have a shower, if you excus..." I said as I started to walk away but Michonne interrupted me.

"Have Daryl help you out," Michonne exclaimed. "From what I heard he is quite good at that kind of things."

I turned around in disbelief and gave her the finger, which just made her burst out laughing, which was odd for Michonne, it made me crack a small smile but I composed myself and looked at her with a serious and annoyed expression.

"You know what," I exclaimed, pointing my finger at her. "I might just do that."

I walked to Daryl, who was in complete shock at my words, I grabbed his shirt by the collar and pulled him with me, I gave the finger to Michonne once again as I walked and she just kept laughing but when I reached the door and was about to leave I heard something that made me stop dead in my tracks.

"Use protection!"

"Go to hell!" I exclaimed quickly, I knew she was just joking and I was too, but why was she doing this to me in front of Daryl? This was so embarrassing.

I walked away quickly, not realizing I still was gripping the collar of Daryl's shirt, I just noticed when I was about to go up the stairs. I let go of it quickly and turned around with a shocked expression, my lips slightly parted.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"It's okay. Hey, why do you even have a sport bra?"

"Do you have any idea of how uncomfortable it is to sleep with a bra on? These," I said pointing to my neon green sport bra. "Are like heaven compared to the normal ones. I saw them in a store and I just had to take them. They have been handy."

I pretended it wasn't awkward to speak about bras with Daryl by flashing him a small smile before turning around and going up only four steps before Daryl made me stop.

"Hey!" he called. "Where are you going?"

"To shower," I said in a duh tone.

"I thought I was going to help you," he told me in a teasing tone and with a smirk playing on his lips. I just rolled my eyes at him.

"I think I'm old enough to do it on my own but thanks," I said sarcastically, turning around once again to leave.

"I'm not sure, that sport bra seems a bit too tight, might need my help." I scoffed.

"Go to hell too, Dixon!" I said, raising my eyes as I walked away with my middle finger in the air, I just heard him laugh at me.

"Alright," he said. "If you need my help, Peletier, just call for me, I'll be there in a second."

"Thanks," I said sarcastically. "I don't doubt that."

I finally got to shower, the water was cold but this time I enjoyed it. I tried not to use a lot of soap or shampoo or water because I wasn't sure when we could go for more. I wrapped a towel around my body when I finished and dried my body, I was putting on my underwear when I heard Carl calling for his dad.

"Dad, dad! You have to come outside! Everyone must come!" Carl shouted. "Come on!"

I tried to put on the rest of my clothes quickly but unfortunately my jeans stuck on my legs because they were still wet. I pulled and pulled until they reached my waist and I could button it. I put on my socks and tennis and wrapped the towel around my head and ran outside as fast as I could.

When I walked out I saw everyone with their weapons raised and a blonde woman on her knees with her hands up in the air in surrender. I took a few more steps closer and noticed it was Andrea. Rick grabbed her by the arm and pulled her up, I smiled at her and she smiled back to me.

We all walked back inside the prison, to our kitchen. Rick was on the lead, followed by Andrea and I was closely behind her. My mother came forward and Andrea went to hug her tightly as we all walked further inside and gathered around. I sat on one table and Daryl stood next to me, while Michonne stood at the very end of the room.

"After you saved me, we thought you two were dead," my mother said to Andrea. "Thanks for taking care of Cecilia."  
"We took care of each other," Andrea told her, then she let go of her and had a better look at the place and us, her blue eyes went wide when she saw Hershel. "Hershel, my God! I can't believe this," she said in shock as she kept looking all around her. "Where's Shane?"

A short silence followed her question and the room was filled with awkwardness. Sean turned to look at the ground and Rick just shook his head at her, avoiding her gaze.

"And Lori?"

"She had a girl," Hershel said as Rick just looked at the ground. "Lori didn't survive."  
"Neither did T-Dog," Maggie told her.  
"And Teresa?"

"She died two days ago," I told her with a dead serious expression.

"I'm so sorry," she said to all of us. "You all live here?"

"Here and the cell block," Glenn replied.  
"There?" she said pointing to where the other door in the room led. "Well, can I go in?"

"I won't allow that!" Rick said firmly, as he stood in front of her to stop her from going there.  
"I'm not an enemy, Rick," Andrea said, hurt was evident in her eyes and voice.  
"We had that field and courtyard until your boyfriend tore down the fence with a truck and shot us up."  
"He said you fired first."

"Well, that's bullshit!" I exclaimed, standing up and taking a couple of steps towards her, Daryl attempted to grab me by my arm to stop me but I just jerked it away. "We were out there minding our own business when he just fired at us, could have killed us all."  
"He killed Teresa and shot an inmate who survived in here," Hershel told her.  
"We like him," Daryl added.  
"I didn't know anything about that. As soon as I found out, I came," Andrea said. "I didn't even know you were in Woodbury until after the shoot-out."  
"That was days ago," Glenn exclaimed.  
"I told you, I came as soon as I could."

Then she looked at all of us in disbelief, lingering on me. I just looked down at the floor as I heard her sigh, then she turned around and faced Michonne.  
"What have you told them?"

"Nothing," Michonne said calmly.  
"I don't get it. I left Atlanta with you people and now I'm the odd man out?"

"He almost killed Michonne and he would have tried to kill me and you if we would have left with her, we told you that place was odd!" I shouted at her, losing my patience. "And he would have killed us all..."  
"With his finger on the trigger!" Andrea shouted louder than me, pointing at Merle. "Isn't he the one who kidnapped you? Who beat you?"

"He warmed me!" I shouted back. "I would have left with Michonne if it wasn't for him!"

"Look, I cannot excuse or explain what Philip has done, but I am here trying to bring us together. We have to work this out."  
"There's nothing to work out!" Rick exclaimed, walking towards Andrea. "We're gonna kill him. I don't know how or when, but we will." Andrea just looked at him in disbelief.  
"We can settle this. There is room at Woodbury for all of you."

"You know better than that," Merle said with a slight chuckle.

"I won't ever go back there," I told her with a dead serious tone. "Neither Michonne nor Merle will."  
"What makes you think this man wants to negotiate? Did he say that?" Hershel asked.

"No."  
"Then why did you come here?" I asked her, glaring at her, I was next to Daryl again by then, I finally sat down again, but I hadn't calmed down yet.

"Because he's gearing up for war. The people are terrified. They see you as killers. They're training to attack."  
"I'll tell you what," Daryl said. "Next time you see _Philip_ , you tell him I'm gonna take his other eye."  
"We're taken too much shit for too long, he wants a war? He's got one." Glenn exclaimed.  
"Rick, if you don't sit down and try to work this out, I don't know what's gonna happen. He has a whole town," Andrea told him. "Look at you, you've lost so much already. You can't stand alone anymore."

"Oh shut up," I exclaimed, standing up again. "Stop pretending you care about us."  
"You want to make this right, get us inside," Rick told her.  
"No." She shook her head.  
"Then we got nothing to talk about," Rick said angrily, walking away.  
"There are innocent people!"

A very long silence followed. What did Andrea come for? To make us quit? To get us to Woodbusy so we can all pretend to be best friends or something like that? And since when did she start to call that man Philip? She has seen what _Philip_ has done to us, tried to kill us, had Glenn and Maggie in there and tortured them, actually killed Teresa and still she's on his side.

"I want to talk to you," I heard her say to Michonne. "Outside."

Even when I wasn't invited I followed them out, Daryl once again grabbed my arm to stop me but I assured him I was going to be fine, with a nod he let go of me and I went after the two girls I had got to love as my big sisters, even when one was acting like an idiot.  
"You poisoned them!" I heard Andrea say to Michonne once I caught up with them.  
"I just told them the truth," Michonne said, she was still very calm.  
"I didn't choose him over you, over either of you," Andrea said as she looked I was standing next to Michonne now. "I wanted a life. Once we entered Woodbury, you became hostile."  
"That's 'cause I could see it, the two of us could see it."  
"See what?"

"That you were under his spell from the second you laid eyes on him," I told her, speaking for the first time.  
"That is not true," Andrea exclaimed.  
"And you still are," Michonne said.  
"No, I am there because those people need me." I scoffed.

"I needed you," I told her.  
"And what about these people?" Michonne asked.

"I'm trying to save them, too!"  
"I did not realize the messiah complex was contagious."  
"Go to hell, Michonne!" Andrea exclaimed, walking away.  
"He sent Merle to kill me," Michonne said and I was so surprised to hear her still calm tone. "Would have sent him to kill you, too, if you had come with me, and you know that. That's why Merle warmed Cecilia, he knew he would go after all of us. But you didn't come, did you? You chose a warm bed over a friend. That's why I went back to Woodbury, exposed him for what he is. I knew that it would hurt you."  
Then it was Michonne who walked away, leaving an astonished Andrea behind. I walked to Andrea and looked her straight in the eye.

"You know her, Andrea, she saved us, she took care of us. You have known this man for what? Not even a month! He wanted to kill us, remember the guy that was saved with us? He was killed along with all the National Guard guys," I told her. "He had heads in fish tanks, how twisted is that?"

"I know," she mumbled. "I saw them and her dead walker daughter, he explained why he had them, I admit that's a bit... sick but..."

"But what?" I interrupted her. "Hmm? Why can't you see it? How did he brainwash you? I was talking with Carl when I heard the shots, he ruined the fences, I was out there and I almost died! Walkers cornered me and you see this?" I asked pointing at my stitched right arm. "One of his men did that, it wasn't Merle, and speaking of him, remember what _Phillip_ did to Merle! He made him go against Daryl, who in their right mind does that, huh? Daryl almost dies as well!"

I glared at her for a few more seconds and when I noticed she wasn't going to say anything, I just shook my head at her and walked away, going back into the prison, leaving her all alone, maybe my words could get into her brain and made her see clear.

About an hour later we all gathered outside, it was time for Andrea to leave, I didn't want to because I was quite upset at Andrea but I did go as well, I stood by the door, next to Carl, who eventually put one of his arms around my waist and rested his head against my side, I put an arm around his shoulder and rubbed the end of it as Glenn brought Andrea a car.

Nobody said anything. Andrea looked at all us but her glance lingered on Michonne a bit longer and then turned to look at me and Carl.

"Well, take care,"she said to us before getting inside the car. Rick handed her a gun and they exchanged a few words. She started the engine, Merle opened the gate and she drove away from us.

I would have run back inside if Carl wasn't right next to me with his small arm around me. I was so disappointed and hurt because of Andrea. If she didn't choose him over us before, she did that just now.

Later that night, we all gathered together in the hallway in front of the cells. Beth starting singing, probably sensing how awkward the atmosphere was.

I was leaning against a wall, next to Daryl and Hershel when Rick walked to us with Judith in his arms, I think it was the first I saw him holding her, maybe after what happened with the Governor he was finally getting his sanity back.

"Some reunion, huh?" Daryl commented.

"She's in a jam," Rick told us.  
"We all are," Hershel said. "Andrea's persuasive. This fella's armed to the teeth. Bent on destruction."  
"So what do you want to do?" Daryl asked.

"We match it," Rick told us. "I'm going on a run."

"I'll head out tomorrow," Daryl said immediately.

"I'll go too," I said.  
"No, you two stay here," Rick told us. "Keep an eye on your brother. I'm glad you're back, really, but if he causes a problem, it's on you."  
"I got him," Daryl assured him.

"I'll take Michonne."  
"You sure that's a good idea?" Daryl asked, I just gave him a look.

"I'll find out and to see how she truly acts I need to see it without you present," Rick told me.

"Alright," I said nodding. "I'll take care of Carl."  
"Actually, I'm taking Carl as well, he's ready," Rick muttered as he looked down at Judith, who was starting to wake up, then he looked straight at Daryl. "You hold it down here."  
"You got it," Daryl assured him with a nod.

Rick walked away as Judith was about to start crying, Hershel gave us a nod before he also walked away from us to sit down, it must be tiring to stand on only one leg, that leaves only Daryl and me.

"I know you wanted to go," he whispered to me.

"I just want to get out of here, I miss going on runs."

"I miss hunting," he told me. "Don't worry, we'll go on a run soon."

"We?" I asked him with a small smirk on my lips.

"What? Don't you want to go with me?" he teased. "I wanna go out there too, so you are either stuck with me inside here or stuck with me outside."

"Don't I have another choice?"

"Nope."

"Damn," I muttered with a small chuckle. "I guess I rather go out there, I feel trapped in here."

"That's because we're trapped," Daryl said in a duh tone, I just punched his arm. "Ouch!"

I just stuck out my tongue at him, and shocking enough he did the same to me. I just chuckled at how adorable he looked.

"What?" he exclaimed.

"Nothing," I said with a big smile on my face. "Nothing at all."

Little did we know that Beth had finished her song and everyone in the room were looking at us instead of looking at her. Sean, my mother and Oliver had a frown on their faces, Merle and Michonne had each a smirk on their lips and the others were just enjoying the show with happiness because we were actually having fun, even in such hard times.

Hello xx

So I finally got Season 5 on Netflix so I will be able to watch it and continue writing this :D :D

As you can see Daryl and Cecilia are getting closer, :D What do you think of this chapter?

QOTD: Did you like Merle? And what do you think of the way he gets along with Cecilia?


	32. Chapter 32 - Crossbow Lesson

We didn't realize we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun.

\- Unknown

"Cici! Cici! Cici!" I turned to see Carl running towards me, I was eating breakfast with Glenn and Beth. The young boy sat in front of me, next to Beth, and all I could see at first was his very big smile and how his eyes were filled with excitement.

"Calm down, Carl, what is it?" I muttered, I was still half asleep and very tired, I wasn't ready for all this excitement.

"Guess what? Guess what?"

"You grew an inch?" Beth said sarcastically, Carl just glared at the blonde girl.

"I don't know Carl," I said quickly, seeing Carl opening his mouth to say something, probably mean, to Beth. "Tell me, what is it?"

"I'm going on a run with my dad!" he exclaimed excitedly, and then his smile left for a bit. "He said Michonne is coming with us."

"You don't have to be scared of her, I promise, Carl."

"Hmm," he said unsure. "Maybe I can ask dad to let you come, would you like to?"

"I would love to but," I told him with a sad smile. "I promised your dad I was, uh, taking care of Judith," I lied quickly.

"But Beth does that."

"I know but Beth can't shoot a gun if she is holding Judith, that's why I'll stay, to keep them both safe."

"But..."

"I promised your dad, I'll go next time."

"So you knew?" he asked me.

"That you were going? No, I would have told you otherwise, I only knew I had to stay" I lied again. "But I'm so happy Rick is taking you, while you are in the car you better tell him to take us both next time, it's not fun staying here."

"I will for sure," Carl told me, standing up. "I'll go get ready."

I smiled as I saw Carl almost running out of our dining place, he was so excited about this, I knew he would be. I wanted Rick to tell him about the run, that's why I didn't tell him myself. I had nothing to do in there, I shouldn't interfere.

"What are we supposed to do today?" I asked Glenn, who just shrugged his shoulders. "We can't go out, there's nothing to do inside, aren't any books in here or some board games or something?"

"My dad found a bible," Beth told me. "You could read it."

"Okay," I said nodding.

"And you have watch after lunch," Glenn told me.

"Alright," I said. "I haven't been on watch since I got here but sure, whatever to help you all."

I looked to the other table next to ours. Hershel, Axel, Sean and my mother were there. Hershel was saying some things to Sean, whose hair now was a bit below his shoulders, he had worn it in a high ponytail everyday until now so I hadn't realized how long his light brown hair was.

I also noticed Axel and my mother being way too close to each other, he was saying some things in her ear and she laughed at whatever he said. I also noticed how he tried to grab her hand under the table, she didn't let him but she didn't look angry at him, she actually smiled.

"Hey, come on!" someone said to me, sticking their hand out in front of my face. I shook my head and focused on the person in front of me, it was Daryl.

"What?" I asked confused, looking at his face and then at his hand.

"Come on."

I took his hand, wondering what all this was about. I caught Beth's raising her eyebrows at me before Daryl pulled me with him. I didn't object, I just let him take me to wherever he was taking me.

It turned out to be outside, where Rick was preparing the car he was going to take. Daryl led me further to the right, almost by the end of the building, he stopped there and let go of my hand.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"We won't go out but that doesn't mean we can't have fun," he told me with a grin.

"Okay?" I said with an eyebrow raised at him. "What do you have in mind?"

He said nothing, he just walked to me. He stood in front of me without doing or saying something I started to get nervous, what the hell is he going to do? As millions of possibilities passed through my head, Daryl put his crossbow in my hands.

I gaped at the heavy weapon in my hands and looked up at Daryl with a shocked expression, he just innocently shrugged at me.

"Do you want me to hold it while you tie your shoes or something?"

"Don't be silly," he said with a chuckle. "I'm teaching you how to use it."

"Oh wow!" I exclaimed. "Is this real? Am I still dreaming or something."

"Shut up!"

"Seriously, I do feel extremely especial right now. Are you actually letting me use this?" I asked, looking down at the black crossbow in my hands.

"Yeah, and if you ask one more time, I'll just take it from you."

"Okay." I nodded, still with a big smile on my face.

Daryl said nothing else, he just walked away from me, I was unsure of what he was doing at first but I noticed he was setting a target a few feet away from me, when he walked back to me, he grabbed the crossbow from me and set it on the ground.

"This is how you load it," he told me.

He pulled the string equally balanced on both sides until I heard a click and then he put an arrow in the groove. He took it in his hands again and handed it to me. I carefully took it from him and faced the target. I supported the weight with my right arm and put my left arm around the trigger. I narrowed my eyes, looking at the target and shot it. I missed terribly, I sighed, lowering the crossbow.

"Here," Daryl said, giving me an arrow. "Load it yourself this time."

I tried to load it again but I didn't equally balanced it as needed so Daryl ended up helping me, he didn't even look disappointed or said anything when I missed the first shot.

"You are holding it weird," Daryl told me.

He stood behind me, grabbing the crossbow in the way he would. I looked at it and mirrored his actions, putting my hands close to where he had his.

"You are still grabbing it wrong, this hand doesn't go here."

"Uh, I'm left-handed, Daryl, maybe that's why you think I'm holding it wrong."

"Damn it, I forgot, that makes teaching you even harder."

"How come?"

"Because I have to think like if I were a lefty as well, it's weird."

After Daryl made sure I was holding it correctly this time, even when he kept murmuring how weird it felt because the crossbow was on his other side, he took a step backwards and let me concentrate on the shot and aimed. I narrowed my eyes again, I lowered the crossbow about half an inch and shot. I failed again but this time the arrow ended closer to the target wood thing Daryl set.

Daryl was handing me a third arrow when Rick walked to us, with a thrilled Carl behind him. Rick looked a bit surprised I was holding the crossbow but didn't comment on it, instead he went to Daryl to have a final talk with him before leaving, I knew it was about keeping an eye on Merle and making sure everything was alright.

"Good luck!" I said to Carl with a big smile.

"How are you doing with that?" Carl asked me, pointing at the crossbow.

"Not good to be honest, I thought it would be easier," I admitted. "But hey, I have only shot twice."

"How did you even convince Daryl to teach you?" Carl asked surprised.

"I didn't, he brought me here and just handed me this," I said with a surprised expression as well.

"Hmm," Carl muttered as his lips turned into a smirk.

"Come on, Carl, let's go!" Rick said to Carl, starting to walk back to the car.

"Seems like the C.A. mission still stands," he muttered, looking straight at me, I couldn't help but blush.

"Carl," I warmed him.

"Have fun," he said too innocently to me, that annoying smirk never leaving his lips.

"C.A. Mission?" Daryl asked me.

"Nothing, you know how kids are. He named this run C.A. for some reason. I just play along with him."

"Hmm, okay," Daryl said shrugging.

Luckily Daryl didn't question it anymore and instead helped me load the crossbow again. He stood behind me again as I held the weapon, he moved my hands a bit, putting them on the right spot but this time he stayed behind me, with his hands on top of mine.

I felt like I was being watched so I let myself looked to the left and sure enough Carl was watching us from inside the car, which had just started to move. Michonne wasn't looking at us because she was driving but I was sure she saw us, damn it, and I was sure Carl was still smirking at us.

"Concentrate," Daryl whispered into my ear. I nodded at him.

I turned my head again and focused back on the target in front of us. He slowly moved his body in a slightly different position, making me move a bit as well. He lowered the crossbow a bit, took a second or two to have a better look and together we pulled the trigger, this time we hit the centre of the piece of wood where Daryl had drew a red circle before he went looking for me, apparently he had planned for this.

I was excited but not that much because I knew most of the work, if not all of it, had been done by Daryl, and it was actually him who hit the target, not me.

"So fucking weird to shoot on this side," Daryl whined.

"You still are very accurate."

"Of course I am," Daryl said cockily, I just rolled my eyes at him.

It took me about twenty-two tries to finally hit the piece of wood, I wasn't even close to the red circle, to the actual target but that didn't stop me from lifting my arms in the air and jumping excitedly to celebrate, Daryl just laughed.

"Hey, careful! Don't drop it!" Daryl said, trying to sound serious but the smile never left his lips.

"I won't," I assured him. "But did you see that? I actually did it! Oh my God!"

"Wasn't that bad," Daryl said shrugging, pretending to be unimpressed.

"You're killing my mood!" I said just before I grabbed another arrow and did it all over again, I got to hit the piece of wood again and I just grinned at Daryl.

I tried about another twenty times. I had missed the wood only about six times, which was good, but I hadn't even been close to hit the target.

"Maybe next time," Daryl said to me as I handed the crossbow back to him.

"So there will be a next time?" I asked excitedly.

"If you want," Daryl said with a shrug.

"Of course, thanks."

After that we both, sat on a picnic wooden table that was outside, back in the day the convicts probably sat here to talk or stuff like that, there were only two of these here. Somehow we had stuff to talk about even when neither of us liked to talk a lot with other people. We mostly talked about things that happened during the eight months we spent apart.

Eventually the two of us lied down in opposite directions, my head was next to his mid-section while his was next to my mid-section. I bent my knees up, while Daryl just bent one and let the other hang from the table, swinging it softly as we both looked at the blue sky above us.

"Daryl?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Of course," he assured me.

"But promise me you won't think differently of me and promise you won't tell anyone, absolutely anyone."

"Okay," he told me in an encouraging voice. "I promise. No matter what you tell me, I'll never think bad of you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, except if you created this virus and turned the world to shit, then I would definitely think bad of you."

"I'm relieved then," I said with a small chuckle. "I'm afraid I'm not the responsible one for this."

"Great, that means I won't have to kill you," he told me. "So, what do you want to tell me?"

"Uh, do you remember that you asked me where I met Teresa back in the farm?" I asked him as I felt my heartbeat accelerating.

"Yeah, I do."

"Well, I lied, I didn't meet her in college," I admitted.

"I suspected you were lying because you hesitated when I asked and you started playing with your hands but I didn't even question it, just accepted it. So, where did you really meet her?"

"Believe it or not I actually met her in, uh, in jail," I whispered the last part, fearing he was just going to stand and leave me there.

"Oh," he said as he slightly pushed himself up and supported his weight with his elbow and looked down at me, I continued to look up at the sky, avoiding his gaze. "Never thought you were that kind of girl, what did you do?"

"Something really stupid," I told him. "Don't worry, it's not bad. I wasn't a criminal I just – just exaggerated, you know? I, uh, I'm not sure if I'm ready to tell you what I did, because I'm kind of ashamed of it, not of what I did but why I did it, I don't want you to feel pity for me."

"Whatever happened, you can trust me but if you don't want to tell me now, that's okay, tell me when you are ready."

"Thank you," I said with a small smile, finally looking at him.

"So, how did you meet her, Teresa?"

"When I was sentenced and taken to jail I was terrified. I was so scared, I ended up in a cell with five other girls. Two were there for murder, one was a pimp and one was a lesbian and I heard she was into blondes. Teresa just came to me with a smile and I knew she wasn't going to hurt me," I told him. "She introduced me to the other girls and they were actually quite nice. The following days Teresa explained how life worked inside a prison. Told me things to not get picked or bullied and to be respected. She helped me a lot."

"What did she do to end up in there?"

"I shouldn't be telling you this but she dealt with drugs, like a lot. But she was a good person and once we were both out she didn't do anything bad again. We were lucky to be released almost at the same time. She got out first and I got out about two weeks after her, I spent seven months in there, I got eleven months but showed a very good behaviour and my lawyer got me a deal. I was even lucky to have a good lawyer that got me only a year sentence, if I would have gotten more, I would probably be locked in there now, probably dead by now."

"Well, I'm glad you are here... with me." I smiled at him and blushed a bit.

"You don't think bad of me now?"

"Not at all," he assured me, grabbing one of my hands in both of his. "From what you told me I can tell you made a mistake and that you know that, you just got a bit unlucky, but no matter what I'll never ever think bad of you. I have done so many bad things in my life, I'm sure that what you did is probably nothing compared to what I've done."

"Thank you," I repeated it. "I wanted to get it out of my chest and I really hoped I could trust you and now I know I can."

"Always, you can always trust me."

"And you can trust me," I told him.

"I know," he said nodding. "So, how was it like to be in jail?"

"Awful, especially when you are claustrophobic. They had to give me medication to calm me down, I used to have panic and anxiety attacks because of it and everyone in there was scary but nothing happened to me, mostly thanks to Teresa. I had lots of... allies in there, not friends but almost. Life was so hard once I got out, I wanted to study but I wasn't accepted anywhere, I wanted to find a job and everyone turned me down, so Oliver contacted one of his friends, he gave me fake papers, a fake identity."

"How did you know Oliver?"

"Oliver was visiting his sister in jail and saw Teresa, claimed it was love at first sight, quite cheesy if you ask me. The three of us got quite close even before we got out. He helped us in everything, including with those fake identities," I said. "I found a job quite quickly after that, I was accepted in college and was going to start studying as soon as the semester started when all of this shit happened. My fake name was Cassandra Swan, people called me Cass, or Cassie."

"I prefer Cecilia," Daryl told me with a smile. "And Cici, but mostly Cecilia."

"Do you?"

"Yeah, you don't?"

"Not really, I would prefer Annika or all the nicknames I was called for that name but that name was a reminder of my old life, my life with my parents, my dad, so when I moved to NY I adopted the name Cecilia and soon people started calling me Cici."

"Annika, huh?"

"Annika Cecilia," I said with a small chuckle. "My mother used to call me Annie or Ann, it took her almost two years to stop calling me that, my father never called me Cecilia, which I'm glad."

"I like Annika way more, can I call you that?"

"Nope."

"But you said you like that name more."

"It brings bad memories."

"Maybe if I start saying it, I'll replace the bad memories with good ones, hmm?"

"Maybe, maybe not," I said sitting up as well. "We'll see."

"Okay," he told me. "Let's go inside, I'm supposed to keep an eye on Merle."

I didn't really remember but Glenn had said I had to take watch after lunch, which totally spoiled the great day I was having with Daryl. I was supposed to be with Maggie on that tower but for some reason she couldn't join and Sean took her place.

I have to admit this job is pretty boring, but unfortunately, very important. I lied down on my stomach, looking all around me with a rifle ready, while Sean was in the same position but on the other side.

Sean was an outgoing, funny person, he was charismatic and really good-looking but from what I had been told he completely changed since the death of his uncle, Shane. He hasn't gone crazy, like Rick, or like me when Sophia died, he just changed. I think he hasn't said more than ten words to me since I got back.

Glenn took my place about three hours later, I couldn't help but grin at him before I walked down the stairs and walked back inside the prison. I smiled at Merle as I passed him and waved at my mother when I saw her.

I went up the stairs and I had to pass Daryl's cell to get to mine and as I did I saw him there. He was sitting on the bed with his back against the wall, he was playing with one of his arrows. He stopped me and called me in.

"How was it?" he asked me.

"Boring," I admitted, leaning against the wall. "I didn't even have someone to talk to."

"What about Sean?"

"It was like he wasn't even there," I told him and he smiled at that. "I would have preferred anyone to be there in his place. How is Merle behaving?"

"Quite good, actually. He ain't stupid, he knows when he has to look down and accept the way things are."

"Yeah." I nodded.

"What are you going to do now?"

"I was going to my cell, maybe rest a bit, or go ask Hershel to let me read that bible he has, I have nothing else to do, and what are you doing?"

"Uh, well, checking my arrows, see if you didn't damage them earlier today," he said with a teasing tone.

"You were the one that came up with the idea, don't blame me!" I said with a chuckle.

"Well, now you'll have to make me some."

"Like if I could."

"I could teach you."

"I would like that," I told him, taking a few steps towards him and leaning against the bed and looking down at him. "Why do you want to teach me to shoot?"

"Hmm," he muttered, shrugging. "It can come in handy someday. You can make your arrows and actually use them as a weapon without having to shoot them, unlike bullets. You can only use those once and you can't stab walkers with those if you need to act quickly."

"I guess that's true, but why teach me?"

"Who else would I teach? Merle knows how to do it, the men are not interested and the other women can barely shoot a gun, all of them would be a waste of my time, but you – you showed me I wasn't wasting my time with you."

"Are you sure?" I asked with a chuckle. "I barely got to hit the wood thing out there."

"You did good, for being your first time," he told me, looking from me to the arrow in his hands. "Come here."

He moved to the very end side of the bed, still leaning his back against the wall and now his left side as well. I sat down and eventually lied down on my stomach, lifting and crossing my feet in the air. The atmosphere was so calm and relaxed it almost felt like nothing bad had happened and that we weren't inside a prison.

We didn't say anything for a while, Daryl kept entertained with his arrow and I played with the tips of my hair, that was in a high ponytail; it didn't feel awkward or anything like that, we were just enjoying each other's company and the fact we could actually relax and enjoy it.

Eventually my eyes got heavy, I rested my head on the pillow, facing Daryl, my left arm hanging from the bed, and my feet in the same position from before.

"Funny, how we both fit in here," I murmured. "This bed is tiny."

"I know."

These beds were obviously really, really small and in other circumstances I would have said they were very uncomfortable but they were the best thing we could have now.

"Doesn't it feel weird to be in a prison? Wouldn't you want to stay away from one?"

I would, normally. My seven months in jail were more than enough to want to stay away from one for the rest of my life but during these hard times this prison was actually like heaven. We had big, strong walls, fence after fence after fence, except now, they were damaged. We had toilets, showers, each one had their own cell, which were like our own rooms. We didn't have to sleep in tents anymore, being out there in the cold and vulnerable to walkers.

"I would, yeah," I told him, grabbing one of his hands, I had been looking at them for a while now and I just couldn't resist myself any longer. I examined it as I talked. "But this is better than any other place. This can be a five-star hotel during these times, we are fortunate to be here."

"That's true."

I kept his big hand in my hold. It was a bit bigger than my own hand and against everything I thought, it was extremely soft, except for one or two callosities in it, probably from the crossbow. I played with his fingers until he spoke.

"Find my hand interesting?"

"Only thing I could find here to entertain myself with," I said quickly, letting go of it, I wasn't even noticing what I was doing, and I felt myself blushing, I only hoped Daryl wouldn't notice, but seconds later I heard him chuckle.

"It's okay," he told me, grabbing my hand and intertwining our fingers, and he chuckled again after he did that. "You hands are so skinny, damn."

"No, they aren't," I said, even when I knew they were. I had lost so much weight during the last year or so and I did lose from my hands and fingers too. "Yours are just kind of big, so compared to yours they just seem thinner than what they actually are."

After that none of us said anything else. I smiled at him and he smiled back. He moved himself further from the wall so he could lie down, still lying on his back. He set the arrow on top of him, with his other hand on top of the arrow and he let himself close his gorgeous blue eyes. I smiled once again, feeling so relaxed and comfortable, and seconds later I closed my own blue eyes.

"Cici, Cici! Cecilia!" I had fallen asleep about five or ten minutes ago. I just realized I had actually fallen asleep when my mother started calling me and woke me up. I groaned and moved softly but I didn't open my eyes. "Cecilia!"

I opened my eyes a bit and saw Daryl starting to open his own eyes as well. I groaned again and tried to ignore her but she kept calling me.

"What?" I yelled.

"Come here, I need your help."

"I'm sleeping!"

"Come here, Cecilia!" I groaned again.

"Go and come back," Daryl muttered in a sleepy tone. "Just see what she wants so she'll shut up."

"Cecilia!"

I moved and that's when I noticed our hands were still intertwined, I squeezed his a bit before letting go of it. I stood up and with half-closed eyes, messy hair and a bad attitude I went down the stairs and met my mother at the bottom of them.

"I was sleeping!" I exclaimed.

"In this world you can't have naps anymore, we all need to work together."

"What do you need?"

"I'm going to prepare dinner, I need your help."

"Are you serious?" I asked in disbelief. "You woke me up for that?"

"Yes," she said sternly, starting to walk towards the kitchen.

"But you usually do it alone," I commented, rubbing my eyes.

My mother said nothing, she just kept walking. Once in the kitchen she gave me a pan and told me what to do, I just glared at her as she told me what I had to do but I did as I was told, I knew I had to do stuff as well but being awoken like that made me extremely upset and my mum seemed to be in a bad mood as well.

"Hopefully Rick and Carl will get back soon, they'll be hungry," my mother muttered.

"And Michonne," I added.

I just realized my mum hadn't said a single word to Michonne. She thanked Andrea for keeping me safe but what about Michonne? She helped as well, actually, she did most of the work.

"She kept me alive, you know?" I said.

I had no idea why I couldn't keep on good terms with my mother, I always had to find something against her to make me upset and pick up an argument with her. I wanted to find her to make things right between us but lately it hadn't been like that, things had been like they had always been and even though I wanted to forgive her and leave behind all those things she did before and after the turn and just get along, but at the moment I was really wondering if I could ever do that.

Hello guys, hope you likes this chapter, personally it's one of my favourites.

So, there was a big revelation, so now you know a bit more about Cecilia's background. But what do you think she went to jail for? If you guess right, I'll dedicate the next chapter to you.

And slowly, Daryl and Cecilia are getting closer, what do you think of their moments together in this chapter?

What do you think will happen in the next chapter?

As always, thanks for taking the time to read my story. Thanks for commenting and getting it to be somewhat popular :)


	33. Chapter 33 - Feelings

"... It's a blessed thing to love and feel loved in return."  
― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

Daryl's POV

Rick, Michonne and Carl had come back the day before with several weapons and ammunition, including a brand new crossbow and arrows, which made my day. I felt like a kid on Christmas but I barely let them see that, I just smiled and admired it. I wanted to try it right away, but I had to keep watch, so I was going to try this beauty later.

I was thinking about giving my old crossbow to Cecilia, I started teaching her how to use it yesterday and what would be the use of learning if she wasn't going to put it into practice out there, it was just the right thing to do.

Speaking of her, we had gotten even closer than before, closer than I could have ever imagined and to be honest, it scared me. This wasn't me, this wasn't something I would normally do with someone but I couldn't help it, and that was the scariest part of it. I couldn't control it.

I just wanted to be around her all day, I wanted to help her, I wanted to be there for her, I just wanted her to need me in some way and I couldn't do anything to stop those feelings or my actions, this girl had changed me and I would like to think the change was for the best.

Merle had been teasing me about it since he got here, telling me I was helplessly in love with Cecilia, that I was just in denial, but I wasn't in denial... or in love. I just let her in, that was it.

"I don't get attached," Merle mocked me, I was next to him on the tower, keeping watch.

Cecilia was outside, below us, talking to Michonne. The blonde girl had a small smile on her lips as the older girl was telling her something. I had been staring at her without really noticing, but Merle did.

He waved a wand in front of my face, I just sighed in frustration and turned to glare at Merle. He looked from me to where I had been looking seconds ago and his lips turned into a smirk.

"I knew you were always the sweet one, baby brother," Merle muttered as he looked at Cecilia.

"Shut up."

I couldn't help but look back at Cecilia, she had a hand on her hip and now she was the one talking, I hadn't realized how expressive she was when she talked. She had her other hand in the air, moving it softly as she talked to make emphasis or something and every once in a while she would use both hands, Michonne told her something and Cecilia just shook her hand as she put her hand over her mouth a bit dramatically.

"No way!" I actually heard Cecilia saying to the other girl. "No!"

"My name is Darylina and I don't get attached," Merle said mockingly, I glared at him once again. "Don't get attached my ass."

"You could try it ya know?" I snapped. "Care for someone, have something to fight for. It's not life to live all lonely."

"So you admit you care now?" He laughed. "I have something to fight for, my life! Isn't that enough for you? Your pitiful life?"

"It gets to a point where that is not enough anymore. And besides, wouldn't you like someone to care about you as well? To worry about you, to fight for you?"

"If you think like that you won't last much in this shit world. We were alone before this, it's the way we are, it is the way we will always be. You don't have to like it, it's just the way things work."

"But I can change that."

"You don't have the balls to do it," he told me harshly. "And even if you change things, you won't change yourself. Sooner or later everything will go to shit."

"Fuck you!"

I stood up, more upset than I should be for some reason. Merle kept mocking me about my sensitive new side but I had had enough of him.

"Maybe I already changed," I murmured before opening the door and going down the stairs of the tower. I walked past Cecilia and Michonne, who just looked at me oddly, they probably noticed how upset I was.

And the thing was that I wasn't even that upset at Merle for the things he said, I had known him all my life and I had learnt to stand him and ignore some of his comments.

As I was walking back inside the prison I realized that I was mostly upset because Merle was a bit right, I was getting attached and a lot and my mind was in conflict. A part of me wanted to give up my old life and for once feel loved by someone and enjoy their company and the other part was hanging on to my old me, the Daryl that pushed everyone away, the Daryl that didn't enjoy hugs or any kind of physical interaction, the Daryl that was alone, and Merle unconsciously fed that last part, the one that wanted to keep being alone and Cecilia fed the other one.

I just wanted everything to be simple. I wanted Merle to be happy for me, because I found some kind of happiness I never knew before, because I had fitted in with this group, because not only Cecilia cared but all of them did. I was important, somehow, I had earned an important place in this group and all I wanted was some recognition, a pat on my back or at least a nod of acknowledge.

I knew he told me back in the woods he likes Cecilia, he approves of her because she's pretty similar to us but he doesn't believe in loving someone else, doesn't believe in happy endings but at least he doesn't hate her as he hates everyone else, she's actually in his good people list and that's saying a lot of her.

Cecilia was unique, she never needed anyone to save her, she could do that herself if she ever put herself in that kind of situations, but mostly she didn't. She shot walkers, she had a hell of accuracy and she had a tough past that made her stronger instead of breaking her, pretty much like Merle and me, more like Merle. Because I have been broken all this time but only realized it.

By now I had reached my cell, the two crossbows were lying on the bed since I took a rifle to the tower. I stared at them and the need to give one to Cecilia came back. I sighed and grabbed the old one, going back outside.

Michonne and Cecilia were still there, I looked up and noticed Merle was still there. I built up my courage and walked to the girls, Cecilia turn to look at me with a smile and Michonne raised on of her eyebrows at me.

"Hi," I said awkwardly.

"Hey," Cecilia said, quite cheerful.

"I think I'll borrow her for a bit," I said to Michonne as I grabbed Cecilia by her arm and pulled her with me. She shrugged and waved at the other girl.

"What are you doing?" she asked me.

"Time to practice."

I took Cecilia to the same spot as yesterday and handed her my crossbow, soon to be hers. She smiled brightly at me and took the weapon in her small hands. She stood straight and raised it almost as I taught her and shoot. She hit the wooden piece but not the target once again.

I approached her after she loaded it again and stood behind her, I put my hands first on her hands, putting them on the right place on the crossbow, then ran them up her arms until I reached her shoulders, I noticed how tense she was, that was obviously affecting her accuracy.

"Relax," I whispered into her ear, massaging a bit her shoulders, she nodded but she barely relaxed. I ran my hands down her body until they reached her waist, I moved her body a bit to a slightly different angle and then moved my arms back to her shoulders."Just relax, keep your arms steady, take a deep breath, and shoot."

Cecilia nodded, she was still tense, but she deeply inhaled and exhaled, kept her arms firm and pulled the trigger. I looked at the wooden thing and the arrow landed only two inches away from the target.

"Yes! Almost got it!" Cecilia cheered, raising her left hand in the air.

"Try again," I told her, I knew she could do it alone but I didn't have the strength to step away from her.

She reloaded the crossbow, raised her arms, keeping them steady and pointed at the target. Before she shot, I put my hands under her elbows and lifted them a little bit, she took a deep breath and pulled the trigger, this time it was me who cheered when I saw the arrow hit the line I drew yesterday, she almost missed the target but she did it, she got it.

She turned around and gave me a quick hug, she had a huge grin on her lips the whole time and she kept repeating that she did it.

"Good shot, Blondie!" I turned to look up and saw Merle with a big smirk on his face, he had been spying on us this whole time.

"Thanks, Merle!" she said happily.

"Aren't you supposed to keep guard?" I yelled and he just gave me the finger, but he turned to look at the woods, instead of us.

She tried about twenty more times and unfortunately she only hit the target three times but it was a start, if she kept practising she would get the hang of it by the end of the week, I was sure of it.

"Here," she said to me, handing me the crossbow. I just shook my head at her, she dropped her hands in front of her, holding the crossbow with both of them. "What?"

"It's yours now," I said simply, pretending this wasn't a big deal. I had never given a gift to anyone and I was feeling a bit awkward.

"What?" she repeated. "Are you giving me your crossbow?"

"Yep."

"Why?"

"I just am trying to do something nice and you question it, damn it woman. Can't you just take it without saying anything?" I exclaimed.

"Well, I know this is like your baby, I was just wondering if you are well, mentally, I mean," she said in a teasing tone.

"Well, got a new baby yesterday, it was either giving it to you or throwing it away, I thought you might want it."

"Well, thanks, it's the best thing someone has given to me."

"Right," I said sarcastically. "An used, old crossbow is the best thing you have gotten?"

"It is now. I know how important it is for you, even if you have a new one and in this new world no one gives you anything, you have to have reserves, you know? So, just because you gave this that has a big emotional value and during these times, it means more than anything I have ever gotten and I mean it."

Cecilia put the crossbow on the picnic table with extremely caution and then wrapped her arms around my waist, I instantly wrapped mine around hers. She stayed like that for a while, she even rested her head against my chest, thing she had never done and I felt a little... insecure.

This girl made me do things I had never done, felt things I had never felt and usually pushed me to my own limits, like now, like the day before when she held my hand. I had never held a girl's hand like that, I had never lied down on a bed with a girl in that way, and most importantly, I was allowing her to do those things. I could have pushed her away a long time ago but I hadn't, pushing my own limits as well.

"Thank you," she whispered to me. I moved one of my hands to stroke her head and play with one strand of her long blonde hair.

I closed my eyes as I held her in my arms, trying to memorize everything about this moment, including my emotions. Once again I felt wanted and loved and important. I felt how my heartbeat increased and then felt something I didn't like to feel and I felt them only when I was in these kind of situations around Cecilia. I felt exposed, vulnerable, insecure and like if I had no idea what I was doing. I liked to feel like I was in control and that I know what I'm doing.

"When did we get so close?" I thought but I probably spoke my thoughts because Cecilia replied.

"I don't know, when you found me in the woods, I think, but I don't know why but I'm glad it happened."

"Me too."

My mind wandered to a sad memory, that's probably why I hadn't even remember it until now. It was only minutes after Sophia was found in the barn and I had taken Cecilia away, into the RV. She was devastated but she said something to me that day, something that probably was what changed me most even when I hadn't remembered it until now.

" _You have no idea how much you mean to me."_

" _And you have no idea how much you mean to me."_

I hadn't given it too much thought about that moment but I did mean every word and after eight, nine months, those words just meant more now.

That was the first time I felt like someone actually cared about me and one of the first times I actually cared enough about someone. My old me would have let her in Glenn's arms and would have walked away, I was pretty bad myself, I felt awful when I saw that little girl as a walker, I felt like I had failed not only her, but me and Cecilia as well. It was such a huge disappointment I just didn't want to deal with anyone but I pushed those feelings temporarily away and made sure Cecilia was okay, okay given the circumstances. Her mother just ran away and didn't even wait a minute to see her only living daughter was crushed and she needed her.

"Just so you know," I muttered as we finally pulled away. "I'll only give you five arrows."

Cecilia laughed at what I said as she took the crossbow that now belonged to her. She picked the arrows that she used earlier and gave ten to me and kept five herself.

"But I'll teach you how to do your own arrows so don't worry."

We walked back inside the prison, Cecilia went straight to her cell to leave the crossbow there and after that we just went back to our duties. Beth needed a rest from Judith, so both Maggie and Cecilia took care of the baby.

I was walking through the prison about an hour later when I bumped into Rick. He looked so much better now, he hadn't slipped yet and for the good of his kids and the group I really hoped I didn't have to step up because of his vulnerable state of mind.

"Have you tried the new crossbow?" Rick asked me with a smile.

"No, not yet but it's amazing, I can tell by just looking at it and I really needed new arrows."

"Carl was the one that remembered, he saw it and said 'Dad, we must take this to Daryl, he's earned it.' He was also quite excited to give it to you."

"He's a good kid."

"Yeah," Rick said nodding.

These days were a bit boring around the prison, which might be a good thing sometimes. We didn't have the field or courtyard yet, and Rick had decided we shouldn't risk ourselves out there to kill them in case the Governor could come back and kill us all.

The weapons and ammunition he got the day before was mostly to fight against the Governor, not the dead. So, with nothing else to do but sort some things and move some boxes around, I walked to my cell and lied down. I told them that if they needed my help they should just call me.

About half an hour later I heard a cough, making me look up. Carol was there, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, just yesterday she came here to talk about my brother, saying shit about how far I've gotten and stuff.

"I need to talk to you." I sighed.

"Is it about Merle again?" I snapped, sitting up with a frown on my face. "I already told you, he's my brother, and if you think he'll bring me down..."

"It's not about Merle," she said quickly, looking to the ground for a second before looking back at me. "It's about my daughter."

I stared at her in disbelief, what exactly did she mean by that? Because of her tone and her expression, I knew it couldn't mean anything good. I sighed again, never taking my eyes off of the grey-haired woman.

"What about Cecilia?"

"I need you to stay away from her," she said sternly, it really shocked me, I had to admit that.

"What?" I exclaimed in utter bewilderment. "What does that even mean?"

"You are closer to my age than hers, you're an adult, she's just twenty Daryl! She's technically just a child," she told me.

"She's technically not a little girl, you know?" I said in a sarcastic tone, what does Carol think, that she's seven?

"Don't you think I've noticed stuff, things going on between the two of you? Like yesterday when she was here with you."

"Excuse me!" I said, jumping to my feet and taking a couple of steps towards her. "We weren't doing anything but talk!"

"I see the way you look at her, I know you want her, Daryl, and I've noticed the way she looks at you too, you made her fall in your trap. I've seen the way you hold her, the way you touch her and I'm not going to allow it, she's my daughter!" she almost shouted the last part. "Do you have any idea how wrong this is in so many different levels?"

"What the hell is this, Carol?" I shouted in her face. "Is this because you are jealous? Because I am closer to her than to you? Is that it? And don't try to deny it, I could tell you had feelings for me."

"That was months ago, I thought I liked you but I was just so messed up back then, besides, this is not even because of that! I'm trying to keep my only daughter safe, that's what this is about." I scoffed at that, she noticed but tried to ignore it. "Cecilia is very... unstable. She can be very easy to persuade and confuse, I think you know that and are taking advantage of that."

"I'm not taking advantage of anything!" I exclaimed outraged. "And I think you are underestimating her, she's stronger than you think."

"Physically, yeah, she is but not mentally. She's damaged and confused and just needs some kind of rock to hold on to, to feel safe and somehow she thinks that rock is you, but in reality it's really me, Daryl. I'm her only family left, I'm her mother."

"You know what? It's so sad you think like that, because if she were as weak and fragile as you think she is, she wouldn't be here anymore. In this world you need to be both, physically and mentally very strong, and Cecilia is," I told her. "And you know why she might think I'm that rock, even when I'm sure she doesn't need a fucking rock to keep strong? Because I looked for her everyday in those woods and I found her because I didn't give up on her, I was there when Sophia died while you just ran away, did you ever wait for a second and think about your daughter, Carol?"

"Shut up!"

"Seriously, tell me! Because I took her to the RV and made sure she was okay. And what about when she wanted to kill herself, hmm? I tried to get her to stop while you refused to even see her? You know what she said? She told me that you blamed her for Sophia's death and that you didn't care about her so she would only do you a favour if she killed herself, did you know that? She also asked why you didn't go looking for them, for her!" I said, slowly raising my voice with every word. "And what about when she went missing for eight fucking months, huh? You didn't even make sure she wasn't alive, you didn't fight for her! Why do you want to protect her now and specifically from me? When you should have protected her from the walkers, from despair, from her father, from even herself, why not then? Why now? Why not eight months ago? Why not five, ten, fifteen years ago, huh? I'm not the monster here, Carol!"

"You know nothing!" She yelled at me as her eyes slightly watered.

"Oh yeah, I know. Her father beat her and you did nothing! You couldn't be a good mother then and you won't be able to be a good mother now or ever!"

She slapped me hard on my cheek, I just glared at her but at least I said it. She totally looked for it, if she expected me to stay away from Cecilia because she thought I was taking advantage of her, then she was just out of her mind. I'm sorry but I won't do that, I had been there more than she has ever been and I'll still be there.

"The truth hurts, right?" I exclaimed with venom in my voice.

"Just stay away from her!" she shouted at me and stormed out of my cell.

I paced around my room, trying to calm myself down but it wasn't working. I kicked my backpack a few times, punched my pillow, ran my hands through my slightly longer hair but nothing seemed to get me to calm down.

Who does she think she is? She can be her mother, and she might want to finally do her job but that doesn't give her the right to just get me out of Cecilia's life, and it's not like she can. We all live together, we are like a big family. If that bitch thinks that just because she has a family title she can control Cecilia's life, she's fucking kidding herself.

I had barely known Cecilia for a year or a bit less and even when we were apart for eight months of that year, I have done more things for her than Carol and it's not like I'm rubbing all that in her face, because I'm not but I was there when Carol wasn't and I know or I would like to think that if I just walk out of her life, Cecilia would be extremely hurt and even if I actually would listen to Carol, I wouldn't be able to do what she has practically commanded me to do.

I'm afraid that to this point I'm too attached to that girl to just stay away from her and pretend she doesn't exist. I don't know if that would break her, I would like to think she would but without doubts I would break if I did that.

And I think that I'm finally accepting and realizing that what Merle has been saying all this time is actually true, like if someone had finally taken the blindfold from my eyes and I could see everything clearly now.

" _Besides, that's not why you want to go back, is it?"_

I remembered Merle saying when we were out in the woods and I was trying to convince him to go back to the prison with me.

" _Nah-ah, you want to go back for that girl, for Cecilia, I ain't stupid"_

" _That's not true and you know it."_

" _I saw you two yesterday, I saw the way you hugged her, the way you kissed her. I ain't blind. You became a fucking superhero when I was gone, huh? She told me you saved her, you know? Told me lots of things and I think you are in very big shit, little bro, I think you fell for her."_

I sat on the edge of the bed, rested my elbows on my legs and put my head in my hands, occasionally running them through my hair.

I had my eyes closed and all I could think about was her smile, her single dimple that she had on her left cheek that I had always wanted to touch for some weird reason, her amazingly light blue eyes, her dim freckles, on both, her chest and face, her abs, her laugh, how good she looked using the crossbow.

Yeah, Merle was definitely right and I was a fool for not seeing it earlier, for not wanting to see and keep pushing it away because this kind of stuff just get you back and bites you in the ass sooner or later and when they finally do, you're in more shit than if you had just accepted it from the start.

It's like a slap to the face, everything comes right at you without warming, because all the other warmings had been ignored by you, so all comes at once and it's so overwhelming you can't do anything but go with it, there's no way out anymore, if there ever was.

"Oh shit," I muttered to myself, finally realizing how deep in this situation I was.

I had not fell but sank and very, very deep. I had ended in the deepest of places with an anchor tied to both my feet, I couldn't get out even if I wanted to, and there was a part of me that actually didn't want to cut the rope that tied the anchor to my feet and get out because that part knows I can't keep being my old self and be miserable in this world, I need at least one thing good in life for once. I need that girl in my life, I need love. I need _her_.

Cecilia

Hello guys! I decided to update twice this week because I just love this chapter, Daryl finally accepts the way he feels :D What do you think about it?  
I do hope you all enjoy this chapter and I would love to hear your feedback about their growing relationship and what happened in this chapter and about Carol's reaction too. Do you guys think she'll do something to keep them apart?

Btw, my training this week was crazy, trained about 22 hours so, I barely had time. But the good side is that I'm finally being trained.  
I want to qualify to go to this tournament in September in USA. I have less than 4 months to improve a lot, so if I don't post during the week or at random days, not every tuesday like I have been doing, now you know why but don't worry, you all will have your weekly chapter for months :D


	34. Chapter 34 - Stupid Type

"Loving someone can be hard at times.

You risk a lot when you love - your heart and soul, at the least.

Love is the most important and most rewarding investment you can make in another person."

― J.E.B. Spredemann, A Secret of the Heart

Cecilia's POV

"Hey!" I looked up to see the brunet boy I had learnt to love as if he was my little brother, Carl.

"Hi," I said to him.

I was in my cell, resting on my bed with my back against the wall, with Hershel's bible in hand, I had asked him to let me borrow it since last night and he recommended me to start reading the new testament instead of the old one, so that's what I did. At first I had no idea where the new testament started to he told me and also offered to clear any questions I had.

"Came to tell you something," Carl said, sitting next to me.

"Okay, what is it?" I asked with a smile as I closed the bible, remembering where I had left off and putting in on my lap.

"When I went out there with Michonne and my dad I was kind of upset because he chose her and not you and I wasn't really feeling safe around her," Carl told me. "Uh, there was a restaurant we used to go to, there were walkers inside and I really wanted a picture that was inside, it was of my parents and me, so Judith could see mum, you know? Well, our first try was a big fail, we almost died, but Michonne went back inside and brought me the picture."

"She did?" I asked with a smile.

"Yeah, she did, and after she gave the picture to me I couldn't help but think that would be something you would do for me, you wouldn't just tell me how stupid or senseless and risky that could be, you would do it too and that made me realize we can trust her, that I can trust her," Carl said, looking from his hands to me. "So, I just wanted to tell you that we can consider her as part of the group now."

"That's amazing," I told him with a very big smile. "I'm glad for her, for all of you. So, are you going to show me that picture you are talking about?"

"Of course," Carl said with a smile. "It's down in my cell, under my pillow."

Carl was about to get up when he looked at something that I had laid on the end of my bed, he had a questioning look on his face as he looked from the object to me.

"What's Daryl's crossbow doing in here?"

"Well, he – uh – he kind of gave it to me, he just got a new one, you know? Yeah," I stuttered a bit knowing what Carl would think of it.

"He just gave it to you?" he asked, his lips slowly forming a smirk.

"He has a new one and he won't be carrying two crossbows around," I said like it was no big deal. "Now move, I want to see that picture."

"Do you realize what that means, right?"

"That he's generous?" I guessed.

"No," he exclaimed, face-palming himself. "It means he likes you."

"Carl, we already talked about this, nothing will ever happen between Daryl and I. We're friends," I told him, pushing him out of my bed so I could stand up, when I did, I stood in front of him and put my hands on his shoulders as I bent a bit so we could be at the same level. "Best friends if you want, but nothing more than that."

"Are you sure about that, sweetheart?"

I froze. I slowly dropped my hands to my sides and turned around, by the door was Merle Dixon, with a big smirk on his thin, chapped lips, I only frowned and blushed. I was busted.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"Walking, there's not much to do around here now," Merle told me. "You should stop denying the truth, Blondie, and listen to the kid."

"Merle, I..."

"Kids are more perceptive than you can imagine, they see things adults can't."

"What are you trying to say?"

"You know what I'm trying to say," Merle said, walking casually into my cell. "Carl's right."

"I didn't know you were the comical type, Merle," I said, trying to ignore his comment.

"And I didn't know you were the stupid type, Blondie. Hell with the two of you!"

"Hey!" Carl exclaimed.

"Not you, boy, Daryl and Blondie," Merle told him. "I think everyone knows what you feel for the other except the two of you, why refuse the truth?"

"I'm not refusing," I mumbled. "And I won't discuss this with either of you, not anymore. We should think what to do with the Governor, he might be here again at any time and we must be prepared not playing to be Cupid here, we have very important things to take care of."

"Maybe that's why you should just stop denying it," Carl told me. "Our lives are in danger everyday, every minute and we can die at any moment. In this world we don't have the time to pretend things are different from what they actually are, if you like him and he likes you, do something before it's too late."

"This kid is clever, I'll give him that," Merle commented as he raised his hand to high-five Carl, he hesitated at first but eventually did it, realizing Merle was on his side.

"Yeah, you might be right about not having time to waste but in this world we can't have relationships, we have to focus on keeping alive, and having a relationship complicates things," I told them both. "Look at my parents, my father is dead now, Jimmy was with Beth and he died, just like Teresa and..." I was going to say Lori but I couldn't say her name, not in front of Carl.

"And Amy and Dale and T-Dog and Shane and Jim and your sister," Carl said and I stiffened at the end. "And they weren't with someone, were they? Our odds are the same, it's just about good and bad luck, being at the wrong place at the wrong time."

"And the skills have a lot to do as well," Merle added. "All of us have had a lot of luck but if we didn't have the skills we have, we would be dead now, at one point you just run out of luck."

"Don't be scared, Cici," Carl told me, surprising me with his words. "I know you are, I don't know why but you are, you just stop worrying and give yourself a chance, that's all I'm going to say."

With a nod, Merle walked out of my cell followed by Carl. Carl kept on but Merle stopped, turned around and walked back to me.

"You know, if you don't want a relationship," Merle told me as a smirk grew on his lips. "The two of us can have something casual, zero attachment, just fun, Blondie."

"Go to hell, Merle," I said, shaking my head at him but he managed to make me chuckle.

"The offer will be up," Merle said with a shrug of his shoulders. "As long as the two of us are alive."

Merle nodded at me and even winked before he walked away again, leaving me there with a lot to think about, so instead of staying there with my thoughts I also walked out of my cell and first, joined Beth, who was taking care of Judith, as usual.

Beth urgently needed the bathroom, so she handed me the baby without even telling me and rushed out of the room. I held her awkwardly as I looked at the baby.

"Hi," I muttered.

I can take care of kids, I even worked as a babysitter when I was younger, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm awkward around them, especially babies.

I looked at the baby and I felt a bit bad to think about it but I couldn't help but wonder if she was Rick's or Shane's. She had blonde hair and blue eyes, maybe she was Rick's because of the eyes but she was so different from Carl that I couldn't be sure.

I was actually enjoying Judith's company and was feeling more relaxed when she just started to cry. I tried to stop her from crying and even changing her position in my arms, maybe she was uncomfortable but she cried even harder.

"Don't do this to me, Judith," I muttered, standing up and walking out of the cell. "Hello? Anyone? I need some help in here."

I waited for a few seconds and saw no one was coming, I sighed and walked to the kitchen where almost everyone was, they all turned to look at me and I smiled awkwardly at them.

"I need some help, she won't stop crying and I don't know what to do."

I don't know anything about newborns or even babies younger than six months and I was starting to get stressed out right now. Luckily I saw Rick standing up and walking to me, he took the baby from my arms and walked out, I followed him closely in case he needed a hand.

I followed him all the way to his cell, well in front of his cell, where they had a table to change her diapers. Rick changed it quickly and while he went to throw it away I held Judith, who started crying after Rick left.

When Rick came back he prepared Judith's formula quickly, took her in his arms again and started to feed her.

"I suppose I'm better with Carl than her," I said, earning a chuckle from Rick.

"Don't worry, she woke up in a bad mood today, she usually doesn't make such a scene," he told me. "But I admit you are better with Carl."

"Saw the crib you got for her, it's quite pretty."

"It was Carl's idea. He and Michonne went for it while I gathered the guns."

"Speaking of which, Carl talked to me not long ago, told me about the good news," I said with a smile.

Rick turned to look from his daughter to me with a confused expression on his face. I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms, looking back at him.

"What good news?"

"That Michonne is part of the group now."

"Oh, right. I don't know what she did but Carl was extremely satisfied with her, I was so shocked when he told me because he was so against the idea of taking her with us and just because Carl and you trust her, I trust her too."

"I'm so happy to hear that," I told him with a smile. "I think we need her."

"Yeah, me too."

"Do you need any help with her?" I asked as Rick cleaned the corners of her tiny mouth.

"No, I'm good. I'm glad I had some practice with Carl, I would feel so lost now, otherwise."

"How was Carl when he was a baby?"

"He was adorable. He had such big cheeks and those blue eyes just captivated everyone, including me. He was usually a calm boy but when he was hungry he used to cry so loud even the neighbours heard. He was a bit shy but he wouldn't stop talking to Lori and I, he was so funny, you should have heard the things he used to come up with."

"I wish I could have seen it," I said. "Sounds the complete opposite of Sophia."

"What was she like?"

"She used to cry a lot and very loud, my father wouldn't even sleep at home because of it and she was very stubborn, you know? It was until later when she became really shy. And you should have seen how much she ate, damn, we would have to go on runs every two or three days if Judith was like her, I don't understand how she was so thin."

"And how were you?"

"I don't know, you should ask my mum, but I was a nice kid," Rick chuckled as he just gave me a look. "What? I really was until I turned like eleven, I started to be a rebel around that time, used to run away from home, do things I shouldn't, got into so much trouble but I wouldn't change it, I felt free."

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"I knew you weren't dead. Somehow, I knew you had escape from the farm and were alive," Rick told me, now holding a sleeping Judith.

"How did you know? Why were you so sure?"

"Just days before you came, I kind of lost it when I found out Lori was dead. I stayed in the room where she died and I got a phone call, it was from a girl. I stayed hours and hours waiting for another call until I got it, more people talked to me," Rick told me. "The girl turned out to be Amy, and I also spoke to Jim and Jacqui and all the people that have died, but I didn't hear your voice. I realized you were alive and that we just abandoned you, I feel so guilty about it."

"Hey, Rick, it's not your fault," I told him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "If you had come back for me, it was possible you would have died and anyone that would be with you, and who knows if you would have found me? Andrea and I ran away as soon as we could. I admit it made me really sad and a bit upset for months that you just left but I understand now, I forgive you all and well, I found you, didn't I?"

"Yeah," Rick said with a smile. "I don't know how but you did and I'm glad, Carl needs you."

"He also needs you, Rick. Don't let yourself slip, you have two kids now, and they both need you. He's a really clever and brave boy, Rick, you have done a great job with him."

"Thank you," Rick said with a big, proud, smile. "I try."

Rick then stood up and laid Judith on her new crib, which was just outside Rick's cell. The baby moved his hands a bit but then we both heard a very deep breath and the baby didn't move anymore, she was sleeping so peacefully and deeply I envied her.

Rick put his arm around my shoulder in a fatherly way and we both walked back to the kitchen. As I walked in, I noticed Beth was there next to Maggie, the food was ready.

I sat on a table with Carl, Oliver and Michonne. People were still a bit uneasy with her but Carl and Rick weren't, which was really a relief.

As we ate I thought that Rick had brought weapons and lots of ammunition but he didn't bring food and we were running out of it. I really wanted and needed to get out of here so I was going to offer myself to go on a run.

When we were done, many people left the room, including Oliver and Carl, leaving Michonne and I alone at the table.

"Hey," I muttered with a small smile. "Carl told me you did something really special for him. It meant lot. He said that you did something I would have done and I don't mean to brag but that's a lot coming from him."

"We couldn't leave that picture there and like I said to him," Michonne said with a small grin. "I saw something in there that caught my eye, I couldn't leave it."

"What was it?"

"I'll show you later," Michonne told me.

"Well, I wanted to tell you, that boy is like my little brother, I love him as he was and I appreciate what you did for him."

"He's a good kid."

"He and my sister used to play a lot at the beginning of all of this, we met at the highway going to Atlanta. Their car was behind ours and he is a charming boy, they clicked instantly. When I was at camp I used to take care of them and play with them and just had fun together."

"What happened to your sister?" She had been asking me that question for months and I never replied, I always changed the topic, evaded her questions, just like she does whenever Andrea and I ask her personal questions.

"She died," I said after a long pause. "The two of us got lost, I made it back to camp but she didn't. We looked for her a few more days until Shane... uh, a man of our group that died, opened a barn and she walked out... as a walker. My world shattered, I felt I couldn't go on. I even tried to kill myself, I was – I was really bad but I made it through."

"I'm sorry."

"There are times it still hurts me, there are times I feel kind of numb but I keep going, I know she would have wanted me to fight, to survive as long as possible."

"And you will," Michonne told me, putting a hand on top of me in a comforting way. "I know you will."

"How?"

"I remember that look on your face when I found you, you wanted to live. You were exhausted and drained but you were still fighting."

"I tried to shoot myself just hours before that," I told her.

"But you didn't, did you?"

"Andrea stopped me."

"If you really had wanted to die, you would have just pulled the trigger."

"Did you ever try or think about... ending it?"

"Not really but that doesn't mean I have never wished I'd be dead," Michonne said, standing up. "There was one particular moment that all I wanted was to die but I'll tell you about it another time."

"Okay."

After Michonne left the room I immediately walked out of there as well, looking for Rick, he was by the entrance talking to Hershel, I approached them slowly, not wanting to pry or interrupt them but I really needed to talk to Rick.

"Hey," I muttered, both men turned to look at me. "I wanted to talk to you, Rick."

"Sure, what is it?"

"I was thinking that you got weapons and all that but not food, I could go on a run," I told him with a smile, trying to convince him. "Still have some hours of light and I promise that if I don't find something close I'll come back empty-handed, I won't risk my life."

"I'm not too sure, Cici."

"I want to help," I pleaded. "And honestly, I need to get out of here just for at least an hour. I can't be locked here any longer and I'll bring food and anything else you need, maybe soap, aspirin, a new sweater, maybe? Anything."

"Your mum won't like this," Rick told me sternly.

"Glenn and I used to go on runs almost every day before we found you in Atlanta, we made it back every time," I told him. "My mum was too busy worrying about Sophia and my father she didn't mind that much about me."

"But she does now, you just got back, I'm sure she won't like this."

"We can keep it a secret," I suggested with a mischievous smile. "Besides it's not like I'm fourteen or something, I'm twenty, I think I can handle myself and take my own decisions." Rick sighed.

"I'm not too sure about it," Hershel said. "Last time Glenn and Maggie were kidnapped."

"Please, just give me two hours, just two and I'll be back."

"Hershel's right," Rick said, making all my hopes to just vanish. "But you are as well, we are running out of food here. I'll grant you permission if you leave immediately and you find a partner that isn't Merle, Michonne, Oliver, Carl or Sean."

"Really?" I asked with a huge grin on my face. "And why can't I take Michonne?"

"Just choose someone else and you have two hours, I'll be checking my watch, you know? If you are late by only a minute I won't let you go on any more runs."

I was going to tell him that now all kind of things can delay me, what if walkers follow me and I need to get further away from the prison? But I knew that if I said that, Rick wouldn't let me go so instead I just nodded at him, gave him a hug and walked away, looking for my partner.

I still wasn't sure whose cell was whose, so I looked inside all of them until I found the person I was looking for, I stopped walking and look at the man with a huge smile on my face.

"What?" he asked me, looking at me oddly. "Did you finally kiss Daryl?"

"Hey!" I exclaimed, not longer smiling. "That was so not cool! What's up with everybody now?"

"What else would make you smile like that?"

"Lots of things, you know? Like I have permission to go on a run for food, I thought you would want to come with me, for old times sake, so, will you?

"Not this time, Cici," Glenn muttered, making my smile drop once again.

"What?" I asked in surprise. "Come on, it will be nice."

"I want to stay today, maybe next time," Glenn told me with a sigh,

"Alright," I said in a disappointed tone. "Who else can I take?"

"Michonne?"

"No, who else?"

"Daryl," Glenn said. "I don't know who else, I'm sure Rick won't go and Maggie doesn't feel like doing anything and Beth isn't really that good handing stuff outside."

"I guess Daryl is my only option," I said shrugging, pretending I wasn't excited about going to ask Daryl. "I'll see you later."

I waved at Glenn before going up the metal stairs, going up two steps at a time. I walked to Daryl's cell to find him on the bed, we really hadn't talked much today. I cleared my throat and he looked up at me, I smiled.

"Hey."

"Hey, what's up?"

"Remember our talk a few days ago?" I asked him. "About going on a run together."

"Yeah?"

"Well, the time has come. Rick allowed me to go for some food, you in?"

"Absolutely," Daryl told me. "When do we leave?"

"As soon as possible," I told him with a smile. "I'll get my backpack and my gun and I'll meet you at the entrance."

I hurried to my room, put the bag over my shoulders, grabbed my gun and knife, made sure I had enough ammo, and then walked out of my room with a grin on my face. I went down the stairs and met Rick at the door.

"I assume you found someone to go with you," he told me.

"Yep," I exclaimed. "Daryl agreed to come with me."

"Alright," he told me, throwing some keys at me. "Take the Hyundai, it's the car that has more gas and if you see a gas station, it wouldn't hurt to bring more gas for the other cars."

"Got it," I said nodding.

"You have exactly two hours," Rick said like if I was his teenage daughter going to a party for the first time. I sighed but nodded at him.

"I know," I told him. "Anything else you want or need?"

"Not that I think of right now," Rick said.

"Alright, I'll see you in two hours then."  
I waved at him, still with a huge smile on my face, I started walking outside when I felt a hand on my shoulder, I turned around and saw Rick looking at me with an anxious look, I raised my eyebrows at him and he just sighed.

"Take care, okay?" Rick told me, still with his hand on my shoulder. "Out of the people here, I met you and Glenn first, I've gotten fond of you and Carl adores you, please just stay safe."

"I'll be fine, I promise," I assured him. "If things get bad I promise I'll just bail out and come back, promise. You don't have to worry about me, Rick. I spent months out there, two hours will be nothing compared to that, I'll be back, I always am."

"I know that, I just worry, I don't want to lose any more people."

"You won't," I assured him, nodding.

Rick took a deep breath and let his hand drop to his side and then he nodded back. I waved again and turned around and this time I did walk out, I just hope I can keep my promise because life right now is so unpredictable now that you can't really promise anything.

Hello guys, I hope you liked the chapter even when it wasn't that exciting.  
And guys, I have been training so hard I have no time and strength for anything now. Right now I'm close to fall asleep but I need to improve, so that keeps me going.  
And good news! Apparently, this girl won't go to the tournament abroad on September, she's 3, I'm #4, so that means I will go, no matter what. BUT I still don't want to get my hopes high just in case. The tournament is in USA but no idea where or when, I've been trying to look it up but find nothing :/

Anyway, thanks for reading, commenting, and everything. I love hearing your reviews, and thoughts about the story so keep them coming :D

Between, does anyone know why my links don't work on here? I tried on the last chapter, but nothing :(


	35. Chapter 35 - The Lake

"The only really good performance is the one where you make yourself vulnerable,

while pushing beyond your familiar comfort zone."

― Kim Gordon, Girl in a Band

I leaned against the turquoise green Hyundai as I waited for Daryl, Maggie was up in the tower on watch and she said it was alright to leave now.

I turned to look at the prison when I heard the door opening again, I saw Rick coming out first, followed by Daryl. Rick looked like he was giving instructions to Daryl and he just nodded at whatever Rick was telling him. I frowned when I noticed Daryl wasn't walking in my direction but a bit further to the right.

Rick stood in front of Daryl, pointed at Daryl's chest and said something else and with that he walked to the fence. I saw Daryl getting on his motorcycle and I just opened my eyes wide at him, walking towards him.

"Woah, what are you doing? Rick gave me the keys, you know?" I exclaimed, holding the keys and raising my hand to show them to him.

"I know, he told me," Daryl said, starting the engine. "But there are many blocked roads now, I think it will be quicker if we use this instead of the car."

"But..."

"It'll be fine, now hurry, we are wasting time, come on."

Nervously, I got on the motorcycle as well, I slowly wrapped my arms around his waist, not sure if that was okay with him but I didn't want to fall.

"It's okay," he told me, like if he were reading my mind. "You better tighten your grip."

And before he finished his sentence, we started moving. He didn't need to tell me twice, I tightened my grip so much that I thought I was going to leave a mark or make it hard to breathe for him but he didn't tell me anything about loosing it.

Rick opened the gate and we passed past him, I wanted to wave at him but I just couldn't let go of Daryl, I was so scared even when he wasn't even driving fast.

To be honest I had no idea where we were going, I just knew he drove in the opposite direction of Woodbury, which was probably the safest and smartest choice.

Daryl accelerated a bit and when he noticed I didn't tighten my grip even more or say anything to him, he accelerated even more, as more minutes passed I started to relax and actually enjoy the ride, I closed my eyes and enjoyed the breeze against my face, the feeling of freedom I had now was overwhelming and there weren't walkers around so I wasn't worried about falling into a death trap at the moment.

Daryl eventually stopped the bike, I released my grip on him and I cautiously got off the motorcycle, Daryl turned to me with a smirk on his lips.

"What?"

"It wasn't that bad, was it?" he asked me.

"No, not really," I admitted.

We found a small grocery shop, we banged on the shutters first, and we didn't hear any moans or noise inside so we ventured to open them after Daryl cut the padlock, there was nothing inside, except for a couple of rats, some dead, some alive.

I would have screamed but I knew that we had to be as quiet as possible, so I just jumped out of their way when the rats ran out of the shop. I let Daryl walked in first, just in case there were more rats inside.

We found lots of cans and quickly threw them inside the bag I had brought, we also found what I would consider a treasure. We found about two dozens of chocolate bars and lots of candies, I almost squealed when I spotted them and quickly grabbed a plastic bag that was on the counter and threw inside all the chocolates and candy in sight, Daryl just chuckled at me.

"Don't tell me you don't like chocolate."

"You have no idea how much I love it," Daryl told me. "That's why we will grab a bar each before going back to the prison, it's only fair, we are risking our asses here, we need something sweet."

"I agree," I said with a small chuckle.

This was such a small shop that I was so surprised it had so much food, there were even lots of water containers, tooth paste, shampoo, some aspirin, things that could become handy. So we took a bit of everything.

When the backpack was completely full, I closed it and put it over my shoulder, Daryl tried to get me to give it to him but once we were on the road again it would be so uncomfortable to wrap my arms around him with a full backpack in between us so I just refused and instead gave him the plastic bag full of chocolate, sweets and some junk food.

"We should have brought the car," I told him. "We could have taken some of those big containers of water with us."

"True but at least now we have an excuse to go out again."

"I guess that's true," I said with a smile.

"Now, we just need to go to a gas station, see if we can find some gas and then we can enjoy our prize," Daryl told me, waving the plastic bag in front of my face. "Come on."

Once again we got on the bike and kept driving in the same direction, looking for a gas station, this time Daryl drove faster and all I could do was wrap my arms tightly around Daryl, trying to trust that he wasn't going to let me fall or anything.

"There," I exclaimed," I see something."

Daryl accelerated even more and when we got closer we realized it was actually a gas station, I looked for two containers while Daryl figured out how to get the gasoline, I handed Daryl one first and then went for the other.

When I came back I noticed the first one was already filled, I gave him the second container and he filled it quickly and then he filled the bike as well. It was then when I saw two walkers coming our way, I got my knife and ran to the closest one, I thrust the knife deep in its head before getting it out and doing the same to the second one.

"Hmm and I wanted to keep my clothes and shoes clean today," I told him, looking at the now stained shirt.

"You could take it off," Daryl commented, making me stare at him in disbelief.

"Hmm, no I don't think so," I told him with a small chuckle. "Besides, it's already stained, I should have done that before killing them."

"I guess that's true."

"How much time we have left?" I asked him.

"Enough."

He tied the containers to the back of the bike and then got on himself, I just looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Thought we were going to eat the chocolate now."

"Eat here?" Daryl asked like if I was crazy. "No way, there might be more coming, I'm not risking it."

I sighed and got on as well, I was even closer to Daryl now that there was less space. This time we were going on the direction back to the prison but instead of keeping going straight, Daryl turned right, got into a narrow road between the forest, Daryl drove for about two more miles and then turned right again but there was no road anymore, only the forest ground, which was very uneven, my eyes widened as I tightened my grip so much more around Daryl, I only heard him chuckle but he did drove a bit slower after that, about five minutes later, Daryl stopped the bike, turned off the engine and put the keys in his pocket.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm eating a damn chocolate, in a nice, relaxing place," Daryl told me, getting off first.

When he noticed I wasn't moving, he grabbed my hand and pulled me with him, almost making me trip as he caught me off guard and I was still sat on the bike.

I had no choice but to go with him but that didn't stop me from complaining, telling him Rick gave us only two hours and he was going to kill me if we made it back only five minutes later than what we agreed on.

"Just relax, just for five minutes before we go back to our shit reality," he told me, just seconds before I realized we had stopped and were in front of a beautiful lake with clear water, I couldn't help but smile at the view. "Now, choose one," Daryl told me, opening the plastic bag.

I smiled and looked inside, I almost immediately spotted a red wrapper and grabbed the Kit-Kat, Daryl grabbed a Crunch.

Daryl closed the bag again, tying the ends of it and setting it on the ground, he sat down after that, crossing his legs and putting the crossbow on his lap, I sat next to him and opened my chocolate.

"I usually like dark chocolate but our lives have been too bitter lately, I need something sweet," he told me, taking his first bite.

"Couldn't agree more."

I took very small bites and probably chew around twenty times, even allowing myself to close my eyes to taste it better and being sure to remember its taste, it's been around a year since I had something as good as this.

Around five minutes later, Daryl threw the wrapper to the ground, stood up and walked to the lake, then he turned to me with a mischievous smirk, I knew that couldn't mean anything good. He took off his shoes and socks, unbuttoned his trousers, pulled them down and threw them to the side, I only felt my mouth slowly opening in shock.

"What...?" I started asking as he also took off his leathered vest and his shirt and threw them next to his trousers, leaving himself in only boxers.

"Want to go for a swim?" he asked me, walking backwards to the lake, I only shook my head at him. "Don't tell me you can't swim!"

"I can, it's just..."

"Relax, just enjoy it while it lasts."

"What about Rick?"

"Don't worry about him," he told me, now the water reached his waist.

"What if the water is contaminated?"

"Even the air we have no choice but breathe is contaminated, so, what the hell? Don't make me go for you and throw you inside fully clothed," he warmed and somehow I knew he wasn't joking.

I sighed and stood up, walked to the shore and looked at Daryl who was smiling at me. I nodded at him slowly and his smile just widened.

"Alright, but turn around, I don't want you to see me undress," I said shyly, he only grunted, but he turned around, he kept walking though, until the water reached his shoulders.

"Whatever."

I took off my shirt quickly, took off my tennis and socks, threw them next to Daryl's clothes and then unbuttoned my jeans and took them off as quickly as possible, fearing Daryl might turn around anytime now. I got in and I stopped immediately, realizing how cold the water was, but I kept walking towards Daryl, who turned around right when I was about to splash him with water.

"Nice, isn't it?" he asked me with a smile.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"Come on, let's get deeper."

Daryl started swimming, kicking harder on purpose to splash water on me and he succeeded, I only glared at him even when he couldn't see me, I passed a hand through my now wet forehead and swam after him, I stopped and realized I didn't touch the bottom anymore so I didn't go any further even when Daryl insisted we should.

"No," I said. "We should not tire ourselves out in case we need to run or kill walkers."

"I guess we can't fully relax and forget the world," Daryl said sighing.

"No," I said sadly. "But this feels nice."

"Yeah."

We stayed there for a while, we swam around, splashing the other from time, I actually managed to wet Daryl's hair, which he was trying so hard to keep dry, it was fun and all but after a while I swam back to where I could touch the bottom.

"Hey!" Daryl exclaimed.

"I'm getting tired," I exclaimed.

Daryl swam to me, he kept his body from the shoulders down under the water even when we were at chest high water now, especially for him that he was about two inches taller than me.

I looked straight at him, at his eyes, which now looked even bluer, if that was possible, reflecting the light blue colour of the water, making them even more captivating than usual. I bit my lip and looked down, realizing I had been staring.

"Wish we could do this more often," I muttered.

"Yeah, it would be nice," he told me, getting closer to me.

Feeling a bit self-conscious that his face was practically in front of my chest, I bent my legs a bit so the water reached my shoulders now, and now we were face to face. Daryl grabbed my hands under the water and pulled me with him, he was walking backwards, so now we didn't have to bend our knees anymore and the water reached our shoulders.

"I'm on my tip-toes now," I informed him so he wouldn't walk anymore.

"Shortie," he said chuckling.

"That's not true, I'm almost as tall as you," I told him, stepping closer to him, our bodies almost touching, so he could see I was only a bit shorter than him, the difference was minimal.

"You are cheating, you are on your tip-toes," he exclaimed, looking straight at my blue eyes.

I sighed and stepped on all the surface of my feet, making the water reach almost my nose, showing him the difference wasn't that big, on my tip-toes I was just as tall as him, maybe even a bit taller.

"See?" I said grinning. "If I am a shortie, you are as well."

Daryl noticed I was struggling a bit, staying on my tip-toes all the time, he chuckled at me but he stepped even closer to me, putting his hands around my waist and slightly lifting me up, I instantly put my arms over his shoulders and wrapped my legs around his waist.

"Well, this is better," I said with a shy smile, but then decided to tease him to get over my shyness and self-consciousness. "You know, if you wanted to hug me in just my underwear, you didn't have to drag me into a cold lake."

"I think I actually had to," he told me seductively. "You wouldn't have taken your clothes off otherwise, not with everyone around."

"So, you tricked me?" I asked with a smirk.

"I wouldn't call it that," he said casually. "I did want a swim, it was just a bonus that you were with me."

"Right," I said chuckling.

I smiled at him and he smiled back innocently and shrugged at me, and then we just stared into each other's eyes, I wanted to look away but I was hooked, I couldn't look away. As we were connected by some kind of invisible wire, we both started slowly leaning in at the same time, my breath was caught in my throat.

I couldn't believe what was going to happen, I couldn't. And it was not until this very moment that I realized how much I actually wanted this to happen.

I slowly closed my eyes as I kept leaning in, I could feel his hot breath on me, we were so close I could almost feel his lips on mine, but I immediately stopped when I heard it.

We both pulled away instantly because we heard moaning, and not the good kind. At the other side of the lake there were three walkers coming towards us and five more were coming from the right, those were closer to us, without thinking the two of us ran as fast as we could to the shore, Daryl was the first to get out.

He ran to grab his crossbow which was right next to the lake and before I could get out of the water he shot two of the five. He shot another one while I threw my knife at one of them, it landed right in the middle of his forehead, the walker fell dead-dead on the ground. Daryl killed the last one of that group and quickly retrieved his four arrows while I went for my knife, we were still half naked, but it wasn't like we had time to dress right now.

"Go grab our clothes and the bag, run to the bike, I'll take care of them!" Daryl ordered me.

"But...!"

"Now, Cecilia!"

I sighed but did as I was told. I grab our clothes and the plastic bag filled with chocolates and sweets and ran to the bike. I was running to it when a group of four walkers was in front of me and if I just evaded them at first but then I thought they could just follow me and eventually catch up with me or get to Daryl, so I threw everything to the ground, killed the first by forcefully stabbing it in the head, I pushed the next to the ground while I killed another, then I moved to the one I pushed that now was on its feet and killed it quickly, kicking it down to the ground for good and right when I was about to kill the fourth, it just fell on the ground with an arrow on his skull.

I turned around and sure enough Daryl was there, he ran to me and as he did I picked up everything again and continued to run, soon enough Daryl caught up with me, luckily we didn't run into any more walkers but we were almost positive that there were more.

Daryl quickly grabbed the backpack, put it over his shoulders, started the engine and he drove away from there, and quickly we were back on the road. Finally I took a deep breath of relief, which didn't last long when I looked down at me.

"Daryl," I said in his ear, he only nodded to let me know he heard me. "You have to stop somewhere so we can get dressed."

I tried to say it as casual as possible, as normal as possible but still I felt my cheeks burning at what I had said and I couldn't help but feel a bit shy and a bit awkward being in just my underwear, riding his bike.

Minutes later, when we got to the main road, he stopped but didn't turn the bike off. He got off the bike and asked me to hand him his shirt, which I had in my hold the whole time, I threw all his clothes to him, including his shoes to him, while I quickly put on my shirt but wasn't as lucky with my jeans, since my skin was still wet and it took a while to pull them all the way up.

Once we were done dressing ourselves, I took the backpack from Daryl because it was so uncomfortable to wrap my arms around him with that on his back. We got on again and soon we were back on the road, luckily our return to the prison was event-less and we saw no more walkers.

Back at the prison, Merle opened the fence for us and Rick was standing right there waiting for us with his arms crossed and all I could think about was if we made it on time, but by Rick's face I really thought we didn't.

"Hi," I said cheerfully, walking to him, trying to change his mood. "Things went good, got the gasoline, some canned food and something that you'll love."

"What?" he asked me, looking straight at me but still he wouldn't smile at me.

"Chocolate!" I exclaimed excitedly. "We brought a full bag of it, it will give us some energy."

"Thanks," Rick said, nodding.

Daryl untied the rope that was around the containers with the gasoline and gave them to Rick and Glenn, who had just joined.

"Why are you wet?" Glenn asked me, looking me from my toes to my hair, water was still dripping from it.

"Oh, well, I, uh, I, I kind of fell into some kind of pond," I said, blushing. "It was very, very dumb of me."

"Daryl is wet too," Rick stated, looking at the two of us.

"When I tripped, I was trying not to fall so I grabbed him by his arm and he tried to hold me and all but I brought the both of us down."

"Okay," Glenn said, chuckling. "I'm going to put these with the other stuff."

Glenn walked away with both containers and I was relieved he believed my lie, I was always a good liar, kind of learnt that from my dad.

"Good job, both of you," Rick said. "Made it just in time, two hours and fifty-three minutes."

"What?" I asked confused.

"Daryl convinced me to give you two an extra hour, I assume he didn't tell you."

"No!" I exclaimed. "I was freaking out about getting here on time and you didn't tell me we had one more hour!"

"It kind of slipped my mind," Daryl said shrugging.

"Right," I said sarcastically.

"Why don't you two go change?" Rick said quickly and before he turned around he winked at us, giving me the impression he knew we didn't fall in a pond and I was suspecting Daryl planned going to that lake and asked Rick for that extra hour.

"You planned it all?" I asked Daryl as we walked inside right next to each other.

"What?"

"The lake."

"No, of course not. You barely gave me time to grab my crossbow and some arrows, and why would I plan it?"

"To relax," I said shrugging, "To have a break."

"Why do you think I planned it?"

"Well, Rick winked at us and..."

"It could mean anything," he said quickly, going up the metal stairs, some people that were in the hall waved at us when they saw us but also looked at us oddly because they noticed our wet clothes and hair. "Don't even mind that."

I said nothing more to Daryl, I just kept going up the stairs and once there I turned right and went directly to my cell. I took off my semi-wet clothes and very wet underwear quickly and put on dry clothes on as quickly as I could so no one would see me and put my hair in a high ponytail.

When I was done I grabbed the full backpack and went down again, to the kitchen. I found Beth, Maggie, Michonne, Carl and my mother there. I smiled at them and handed the backpack to my mother.

"Got lots of cans," I told her. "This will last us for a while, I think."

"Thanks," she said in a monotone voice. "Why didn't you tell me about this run?"

"Because you wouldn't have let me go," I told her as she left the backpack next to a shelf. "And I really wanted to do this, I want to help."

"It's dangerous and I'm your mother, Cecilia."

"It's dangerous everywhere, mum," I told her. "And I'm twenty, I used to go on runs all the time before, it was dangerous back then as well."

"Yeah, but we didn't have a crazy man wanting to kill us all, don't you remember what he did? What if he kidnaps you too?"

"It didn't happen," I said as calmly as I could manage, I was very conscious of the four people in the room watching us. "I'm fine, I managed to get us food and gas and I'm back now, nothing happened to me or Daryl."

"That's another thing, why did you go with him?" she exclaimed angrily, making me so surprised at her sudden outburst.

"Who else would I take?" I exclaimed. "I asked Glenn and didn't want to go, who else could I take? You know he's the best and if you really wanted me to be safe I think he's the one that can keep me the safest."

"He..." She definitely wanted to tell me something about Daryl but she also knew we had an audience, so she stopped herself, which only got me thinking that whatever she was going to say it was bad.

"You should just thank me... for the food," I told her before turning around and sitting next to Carl, who gave me a big hug.

In that moment Daryl walked in with a plastic bag in his hand, the one with the chocolate, I don't even remember how he ended up with it. He put the bag on the very top of a shelf and after that he walked away, but he didn't leave the room before looking directly at me for a couple of seconds and I followed him with my sight, action that didn't go unnoticed by most of the people in the room.

"I saw that, you know," Carl whispered to me. "You two are making M.C. so easy, I don't even have to do anything, well almost anything."

"Carl," I muttered, giving him a look and ruffling his hair a bit, and then I finally processed what he last said. "What do you mean by almost anything?"

"I'll tell you later."

"No, you tell me now."

Carl sighed, he brought his mouth next to my left ear, so he could whisper it, and a part of me was glad that he was going to do that, I didn't want the rest to hear.

"Well, for now let's just say it wasn't a coincidence that you didn't go on that run with Glenn but Daryl," he whispered and when I turned to look at him he just smirked, the little brat.

Then my mother walked out and Glenn walked in and sat next to Maggie, who looked really good but at times she had this empty look on her eyes and it seemed like her mind was somewhere else but she was better, Glenn was better too, physically and mentally.

"So, dad said you fell on a pond, how can that happen?" Carl asked, trying to hold his laughter.

"I guess I'm a bit clumsy," I said, shrugging. Michonne and Beth also seemed interested in the story. "I just wasn't paying attention to where I was going and..."

"Because you were too busy admiring Daryl's handsome face, huh?" Carl exclaimed quickly, making everyone in the room laugh, I was just glad my mother wasn't here anymore.

"No," I exclaimed at him as he and Michonne high-fived. "That would be even more embarrassing, I just tripped, next to a pond, very unlucky."

"Or," Beth said with a smirk. "You pretended to fall, grabbed Daryl's arm and pulled him with you on purpose."

"You know that's not true!" I exclaimed, feeling myself blushing and now it was Beth and Glenn high-fiving. "Why do you ask what happened if you will keep making hypothesis of what happened?"

"We can't believe you just... fell," Beth said. "That isn't like you."

"It happens," I said shrugging.

"Right, 'accidents' happen," Glenn said sarcastically, doing air quotes.

"Oh, shut up!" I exclaimed, standing up.

"Besides, what were you doing close to a pond? Weren't you supposed to go look for food, not going into the woods for an adventure or something like that?" Glenn said as he smirked at me, I just shook my head at him.

"You know what, I'll go rest, I risked my life out there and you just make fun of me!" I said pretending to be dramatic.

"Oh come on, you didn't even come across walkers, did you?" Glenn said.

"Who says we didn't?"

"Your mother asked Rick and he assured her there were no walkers," Maggie said.

"Well, don't tell her but we ran across a group of them, they were like twelve," I told them.

"Was that before, after or during the pond thing?" Michonne asked and I just glared at her.

"I'm done with all of you!" I exclaimed, walking out of the room.

"Come on, Cici!" I heard them all say, but they were still laughing, so I just gave them the finger as I kept walking.

I wasn't really mad or annoyed, I was just pretending I was, but I really wanted to rest a bit, that swim made me really tired and my eyes kept closing. I just needed a nap.

Hello guys! I hope this chapter did make up for the event-less last chapter! :P

QOTD: Where are my readers from? :D I'm really curious about this!

And please tell what ship name do you prefer for Daryl and Cecilia:

\- Dici

\- Decilia

\- Ceryl

\- Darilia

\- Cecyl


	36. Chapter 36 - Forbidden

"Don't make people control your life,  
People only care about themselves.  
Live your life with happy and ignore Sick people."  
― Al-Hanouf Halawi

I woke up later than I intended, it was already very dark and people had already eaten dinner and Michonne was kind enough to save me some dinner and brought the plate all the way to my cell.

"Hey," she said to me as she walked in. "Brought you some dinner."

"Thanks," I said smiling as I took the bowl from her.

It was canned soup. I sat up straight in my bed and started eating as Michonne sat at the bottom of my bed, crossed-legged. The room was pretty dark but luckily some moonlight lightened it a bit.

"Your mum is still not happy you went on that run and with Daryl," Michonne told me in a low tone, I just shook my head at her.

"I don't know what's up with her, she didn't use to mind where I went before," I said shrugging. "And maybe she's jealous, I remember she used to follow Daryl around the farm, never paid too much attention to that, though."

"Maybe she's just scared," Michonne told me. "She already lost you once, thought you were dead, she doesn't want to go through that again, you should give her a chance."

"I am trying." I sighed. "I thought things were going to be better between us and at times they truly are, like when Teresa was dying but most of the time things are just as bad or even worse than before, I guess there is still a lot of tension between us."

"Why is that?" Michonne asked, I sighed at her.

I looked at her, sighed again and looked down, seeing my half-empty bowl of soup now. I didn't want to talk about it but I knew Michonne did care and wouldn't use it against me in the future or even pity me, which I hate, I hate people pitying me. So, I told her about our lives before all of this, told her about my abusive father and my weak mother and even told her about me getting Taekwondo and self defence classes and learning how to shoot to defend myself, thing only Daryl knew, until now, and of course I didn't got into much detail with Michonne.

"So you knew how to shoot before everything went to hell?" she asked me.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"You know, it might not make you feel better but sometimes things happen to us and we may think they are bad but they really aren't," Michonne told me. "Like once there was this guy who broke his leg and couldn't work and stuff and he really thought it was bad but a few months later he wasn't chosen to go to war because of his leg, so what happened to him at first might seem unfortunate but it saved his life."

"What are you trying to say?"

"That maybe if you wouldn't have been hit by your father you wouldn't have learnt how to use a gun and you might have been dead by now, everything happens for a reason," Michonne told me, looking directly to my eyes. "It was horrible what happened to you and I don't wish it on anyone and I'm glad it's over but maybe you were supposed to live through this hell of a world and if you hadn't gone through that you wouldn't be this tough, Cici, it's a nice way to see it."

"You might be right," I said shrugging. "I always wanted to find a reason why he did it, why it happened to me. Always wondered what I did to deserve such lousy parents, such a miserable childhood, and I agree your theory is a nice way to see it and so far it has been the only reason I've found so I'll kept it until I find another one."

"How did he die?"

"He was half eaten by walkers about three months after everything began. That day he slapped me really hard and I fell," I told her, remembering that for the first time since we left the farm. "My head hit a rock and I got a concussion, I was out for hours. I was told he stayed in the tent because this other man beat the shit out of him and he couldn't face the people like that and later the camp was invaded by walkers and they ate a lot of him, he was a fat and tall man."

"Well, I'm sure he suffered."

"Oh yeah." I nodded. "I was lucky I wasn't eaten, I was unconscious thanks to him, I was so vulnerable but nothing happened to me, except I had a huge, nasty, purple bruise on one side of my face and an ugly cut on the other side, I looked so bad. Actually, Glenn and Daryl thought I was bitten."

"Did they?" Michonne exclaimed.

"They weren't around when it happened, they didn't know what happened to me, Sophia told me they were both like freaking out, especially Glenn," I said with a small chuckling as I imagined the scene.

"Were you always close to them?"

"To Glenn, yes, we kind of just clicked. We went on runs together at least once or twice a week and we got really close, he was like my best friend, to Daryl," I said, taking a small pause. "No, we were just two people that lived together and saw each other every day and then I got lost, you know I did, and he found me and I don't know what happened that day but we got like such a strong bond after that."

I put the now empty bowl on the floor next to my bed and grabbed my hair, starting to braiding it, Michonne noticed and offered me to help, so I moved to where she was and sat in front of her, my back facing her.

"Speaking of him, I noticed something today and I'm not sure if the others did too but I know you are lying about the pond because of that."

"I'm not lying!"

"Cici, your clothes weren't all wet, just specific parts, like when you go to the beach and you put a shirt over your wet swim suit, so are you going to tell me you fell on that pond wearing only your underwear? Because that's just way too convenient."

"Alright," I said sighing. "You caught me, okay? We actually went on a swim, nothing special."

"Then why don't you tell the others about it if it wasn't special?"

"Because they would tease us, I lied to them and they are still teasing me, you heard them earlier and my mum would totally freak out, I don't know what has gotten into her lately, anyway," I told her. "We swam in this lake for a bit until we heard walkers coming, and it was so embarrassing because we killed them being half-naked, oh my God, I hadn't even thought about it, so embarrassing."

"Would love to see that," Michonne said chuckling, finishing my braid, so I moved back to my former position and place. "And are you trying to tell me that you were in underwear and absolutely nothing happened?"

"So, what if we were in only underwear? That doesn't mean something had to happen," I exclaimed. "We were just relaxing, having a good time... even when it didn't last long."

"He didn't last long?" Michonne burst out laughing before she even finished her sentence, my face went completely red in a matter of a second.

"Michonne!" I exclaimed in disbelief, she just kept laughing. "Nothing happened, I swear."

"I don't believe you."

"Why?"

"Well, the two of you obviously like each other." I just made her a face. "And the two of you were alone, swimming, probably getting cozy and today when we were teasing you, you actually blushed a few times and it's so weird when you blush so I can only assume something out of the ordinary happened."

"Was bringing me dinner some kind of trap to interrogate me about my day with Daryl?" I asked, pretending to be hurt.

"Kind of," Michonne said with a small chuckle. "And don't worry, everyone is sleeping and I won't tell anyone."

"It was nothing, Michonne," I said in defeat.

"Then tell me what happened," she urged me.

"I'm not sure, you know, but I think we almost kissed."

Michonne squealed but quickly put her hands over her mouth to keep quiet, I think I had never heard her squeal, I thought that wasn't possible for her.

"Shhh, Mich!" I muttered, with my index finger over my lips. "Do you want to wake up everybody?"

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I just got excited."  
"Yeah, I could see that."

"Well, keep telling me."

"I don't know, we were just too close and... well, getting closer and right when it was going to happen we heard the walkers," I told her. "But Mich, this doesn't mean anything, we just got caught in the moment, that was it."

"You can't possibly believe that!" Michonne exclaimed.

"What else would it be? That's he's secretly in love with me and actually wanted to kiss me?" I said with a small chuckle, but Michonne didn't even smile, she just had such a serious expression it scared me. "What? You don't think he does, right?"

"I actually do, even Andrea could tell and that was months ago."

"Andrea just teased me with him because there was no one else he could tease me with and besides if he would have wanted to kiss me why didn't he do it after?"

"Well, the magic moment was gone, I don't know," Michonne said shrugging. "And she could have teased you with Sean."

"We were never that close, look at him now, he barely talks to me. He's changed so much, his uncle died, you know? I think that affected him too much."

"We have all lost people, we get over it," Michonne said coldly to me. "Or we die too."

"Who did you lose?"

Even after spending almost a year with Michonne I barely knew things about her, I admit I do know enough and I trust her but sometimes I wish she could open up a bit more and tell me things like I've told her stuff, including things about my sister, which is was one the hardest things for me to talk about.

Michonne just stared at me like she wanted to murder me or at least hurt me but I wasn't scared, I knew she wouldn't do anything to me but I knew I had touched a nerve there.

"Everyone," she muttered, standing up. "Lost everyone."

"Who is everyone, Michonne?" I asked her, standing up as well, Michonne just looked at me coldly for another couple of seconds before turning around. "Who were those walkers, the ones you kept? You said you would tell me!"

"Good night, Cici," she muttered and walked away, I walked to the end of my room and stayed by the door frame and watched her as she went down the stairs.

"I told you about today," I said a bit louder, not caring about the others. "Told you about my father, about Sophia, I think it's only fair that for once _you_ tell _me_ something."

Michonne stopped in her tracks for a few seconds but didn't even look at me once, she just shook her head slightly and continued to walk, probably to her own cell.

I sighed in frustration, walked to my bed and slumped down on it once again. Michonne could be a talker when she wanted, just not about deep stuff or anything that concerned her past, I was like that too.

I would just walk away or get extremely irritated if Andrea mentioned something especially if it was about my family, Carl, Rick or even Daryl. I would just snap and I didn't even want to hear about them but I eventually came around, I still haven't opened up completely, I still don't feel comfortable talking about my sister or my past but I've realized I usually feel better once I get it out of my chest, that's why I tried to get Michonne to talk, maybe it would help her just let it go but apparently she wasn't ready yet.

I turned over, laying on my stomach. I rested my head on the pillow, put a hand underneath it, and fell asleep like that, hugging the pillow.

"No, no!" I screamed as I saw Sophia walking towards me, her usual brown eyes were gone and replaced by lifeless greenish ones, her hair was a mess, her clothes were dirty and had some blood stains on them as well. "Sophia, it's me!"

Sophia just kept walking towards me, snarling. Tears ran down my face as I just stood there, watching my sister coming closer and closer. I knew she was a walker, I knew she wanted to eat me but at the moment I didn't care and even if I did, I couldn't move, I tried walking to her but I couldn't.

"Cecilia!" I turned to look at my right and saw Rick. He was shouting at me to move, to run, but his voice sounded quite vague and a bit muffled. The others were around me as well, but they didn't look as neat as Rick, the others looked a bit blurred. "Cecilia!"

I shook my head at him before looking back to Sophia. I was quite shocked to see her right in front of me, making me fall down to the ground, she jumped on me and tried to bite me on the neck but I put my arms on her shoulders, stopping her from getting me but she was stronger than me, I don't know how much longer I could keep this.

"No, please, Sophia!" I shouted at her as tears ran down my face, I closed my eyes, making more tears to fall down. "No, no!"

"Cecilia!"

I opened my eyes but Sophia wasn't in front of me, it was Rick. I was on my bed back at the prison, I was panting, sweating and crying. I closed my eyes and let out a breath of relief as my head fell back into the pillow.

"It was just a nightmare, Cici," Rick said softly to me, rubbing my shoulder. "You are okay."

I opened my eyes again and slowly sat up. I could see Carl, Maggie, Oliver and my mother behind Rick, by the door frame.

"I'm fine," I assured them but mostly myself, nodding. "I'm good, I'll just go wash my face."

I stood up slowly, I grabbed a corner of my shirt and ran it over my face to dry the drops from sweat that were falling down my face. I smiled at the others to make them know that I was okay, it wasn't real, I was just a bit jumpy but I would be completely fine in a matter of hours I always am.

I went down the stairs, right to where the showers are, put my hands together, cupped them and splashed some water on my face, making sure the water wasn't going to fall in the container with the clean water again.

I repeated the process three more times, then I once again dried my wet face but with another part of my shirt and walked out of the room and went back to my room to change my shirt.

Beth joined me just after I put on a clean shirt on, I smiled at her and this time my smile wasn't as fake, I had calmed down a bit.

"I always have nightmares," I said with a shrug as it wasn't important. "It's not a big deal."

"I know, I have them too," she told me. "But usually they don't make you scream at the top of your lungs."

"It was just worse than usual," I said as casually as I could manage, crossing my arms. "And it took me longer to wake up, but I'm fine."

"I use to dream with my mum and my brother, you know? And Jimmy sometimes," she told me, meaning she knew I dream about Sophia. "I watched them dying over and over again in my dreams, it never really gets better."

"It just gets worse sometimes," I said nodding.

I didn't really want to talk about my nightmare because I just wanted to forget it but almost everybody wanted to make sure I was okay and wanted to know what I dreamt about, but I kept ignoring their questions and changing the subject.

The most persistent person was my mother, telling me it was okay to tell her and letting this kind of things out and she said Sophia is in a better place now but still I said nothing and the least persistent of them was Michonne, who barely talked to me all day, apparently she was still avoiding me because of what I asked last night and Daryl had talked to me a bit but not even mentioned my nightmare, which I was glad about.

"Cute braid," Maggie commented just after lunch.

"Thanks," I said. "Michonne did it last night, it's nice not to have the hair on your face."

"If I had longer hair I would ask her to do one on my hair," she told me with a smile. "Maybe in a few months."

"We could do small ones," I said with a shrug and a smile.

"Maybe."

"We have not much to do anyway, we could try."

"Sure, I'd love that," Maggie said with a smile. "But later, it's my turn to keep watch."

"Alright, have fun," I said sarcastically. I was on watch before lunch with Michonne and as usual it wasn't really interesting, I guess it just wasn't my thing.

"You too," she said before walking away from me.

Today I was in a very talkative mood, mostly because talking kept my mind distracted and stopped me front thinking about Sophia and the nightmare.

So far I had had long conversations with almost everyone, even Sean, which was a bit surprising, he even joked and laughed, the ones that had barely talked to me were Michonne and Daryl and I had tried to avoid my mother, who at the moment walked into our kitchen so I stood up quickly, pretending I was going out before she came.

"Hey, want to ta...?"

"Sorry," I said quickly. "I promised Carl I would join him soon."

I almost ran out of there and went upstairs, I stopped right when I reached my cell, standing right out of it. I bit my lip and hesitated but eventually decided to go to Daryl's cell instead.

"Hey," I said smiling to him, who was lying on the bed, he sat up when he heard me.

"Hey," he muttered with an almost not existent smile but I knew it was there.

"Never had the chance to tell you that I did have fun yesterday, it was nice," I told him with a shy smile, as I leaned on the wall. "Except for the end, but everything before that was nice."

"I know," he said nodding.

I walked inside and stood in front of him, looking down at him, he just looked up at me, waiting for me to say something.

"Why haven't you asked me about what happened to me this morning?" I suddenly asked, it's not what I wanted to say at first but the thought just came to my mind and I had to ask him.

"I guess you didn't need one more person to ask something you didn't want to tell," he said shrugging. "Besides all our nightmares are the same, walkers, death, our loved ones turning, nothing out of the ordinary and if you wanted to talk about it, you would have by now."

"You're right," I muttered. "It was about that and I didn't want to talk about it because it was awful."

"Didn't?"

"You were the only person that didn't want to know, that kind of makes me want to tell you," I admitted, feeling a bit vulnerable. "But like you said, it was nothing out of the ordinary."

"What did you dream?" he asked, swinging his legs so that they now hanged from the bed and his body was facing mine.

"I think all of you know," I said, biting my lip. "It was about that day... back at the farm." Daryl nodded meaning he knew what day I was talking about. "And she was there, just like she was that day and she was coming to me, wanting to eat me, to kill me and I couldn't move, she lunged at me and I was trying to just keep alive but she was so strong and I couldn't kill her, you know? The knife was in my waistband, but I couldn't kill her, I just couldn't kill my sister, so I didn't even try to get it. I was about to die when Rick woke me up."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, grabbing both my hands in his, running circles on my hands with his thumbs. "That was awful."

"It wasn't real," I muttered.

"But what your dream was about," he said. "That was real and I'm sorry."

I sadly nodded at him, at the verge of breaking down because I kept all morning telling myself it was just a dream, ignoring the fact that Sophia did die, it happened, it was real.

"Yeah, it was." I nodded again. "Thanks for hearing me out."

"I knew you would speak about it eventually, you just didn't have to be pushed."

"How do you know that?"

"If you keep being pushed like everyone was doing all day, you usually just push them away and you go into like shell-mode, you know? Sometimes we just need our space."

"Is that why you opened up to me?" I asked him. "Because I let you have your space?"

"Not really," he said chuckling. "If I remember correctly, you slept on my tent, stole my room at the CDC, followed me everywhere back at the farm and you are here now, I guess you just didn't push it when you shouldn't, you only did it at the right times."

"I didn't steal that room back at the CDC, you wanted to take it from me, and I didn't follow you everywhere and you offered me to sleep in your tent," I said with a smile. "Besides, you..."

"Cecilia!"

I turned to look at my right to see my mother by the door, looking really pissed. Daryl instantly let go of my hands and awkwardly stood up, trying to explain but my mother wasn't in the mood to hear anything.

She walked inside, grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room, scolding me as we we were going down the stairs. I tried to break free but her grip was way too strong, it wasn't until we were halfway to the door of Block C that I managed to get her to let go of me.

"We were just talking!" I exclaimed.

By now about half of the group was watching our little argument and more were coming. Merle was by the door, coming probably from the kitchen, Carl, Sean, Rick and Axel, who was getting better from his injury, were standing by the end of their rooms and Daryl was still upstairs, watching us from up there and slowly making his way down as well.

"I want you away from him, understand?" my mother said sternly in a loud tone but she still wasn't shouting.

"No!" I exclaimed, glaring at her. "I won't do that."

"I'm your mother I know what's best for you."

"Right, like the times..."

I bit my tongue to stop myself from saying anything else, this wasn't the time or place to be discussing that, besides, Maggie, Hershell and Beth still didn't know about my horrible childhood and I didn't want them to find out this way.

"He's a grown up man, a few years younger than me," she said in a much lower tone but just as stern. "And you are just a naïve teenage girl."

"What?" I shouted. "What the hell are you trying to say? That's he's luring me or something like that?"

"You are just too innocent and fragile and probably feel lost but..."

"I can't believe this!" I exclaimed in disbelief as I raised my hands and slowly rested them on the top of my head as I slowly turned around, not wanting to look at my mother but of course that I eventually had to face her.

"Carol, why don't you..." Rick started but she just raised her arm to stop him from keep talking as she never looked away from me.

"I'm not fragile or lost or naïve, Mum!" I shouted. "I survived eight months without you, I actually survived a couple of years without you Mum, don't ever say that again because the fragile one here is you."

"I just want you away from Daryl, Cecilia!" she said, trying her best to keep her voice down but still, everyone could hear her, and by now the rest, except Maggie was there, who was still on watch. "Don't you think I've seen stuff? You probably haven't because like I said, you are too naïve but..."

"Do you actually think Daryl would take advantage of me, because I'm too young to know?" I asked in disbelief. "First of all, he saved me all those months ago, Mum! He brought me back to you so you could just keep ignoring and blaming me, I almost killed myself and you didn't give a fuck but he did. I can't believe you think such things of him, you should be ashamed of yourself!"

"He's too old for you!" she desperately shouted as she attempted to grab me by my shoulders but I jerked her hands away. "He's not good for you, You are always with him, he's always taking you away from everyone, like yesterday! Sooner or later he'll try something."

I heard my mum saying all those things like if no one was listening to us, like if Daryl himself wasn't there, who by now was at the bottom of the stairs, trying to intervene but probably not knowing how to, or not daring to.

"For your information I was the one who asked him to go with me!" I exclaimed, taking two steps towards her. "And I think I'm old enough to take care of myself, don't you think?"

"No, you aren't," she said firmly. "I forbid you from being with him ever again."

"Oh yeah?" I said with a smirk and raising my eyebrows at her, I finally ran out of my patience.

With the smug smirk never leaving my lips, I marched all the way to where Daryl was standing, I was very concious of everyone in the room but I was too angry to care about them or even thinking right.

I stopped in front of him and for a couple of seconds I looked into his piercing blue eyes before closing my own eyes, leaning in and crashing my lips against his, he was caught off guard for sure, he was almost petrified, as almost everyone else, who just gasped at what I did.

I didn't want to admit it and I couldn't think about it now because of my anger but I did feel something when I kissed Daryl, but for now I pushed it aside.

"About time!" I heard Carl exclaimed.

I pulled away, not daring to look at Daryl. I turned around, face my mother and once again raised my eyebrows at her and soon a smirk formed on my lips.

"Don't ever tell me what I can or can't do," I exclaimed and with that I turned around again and went up the stairs, leaving everyone, especially Daryl, astonished.

I was so furious I let myself act on my emotions without thinking, and it was not until a few hours later that I started to regret what I did, what if I ruined everything I had with Daryl? I exposed him in a way he didn't deserve, I couldn't help but feel as if I had made a mistake.

So, they finally kissed, I WANT to hear all your thoughts :D I bet it wasn't how you expected it to happen but it finally happened.

And I need all your help with something, I have been wanting to make a video when Daryl was a child and then as a teenager but I don't know what movie/actors to use. I may use Riding in Cars with boys, but I'm 100% happy with the actors.

And I also need the new movie from Jennifer Lawrence (I'm Joy, I think it's called), anyone else know where I can get it?

And too all the people that do watch my videos, I'm sorry. I promised that I would make a Merle/OC video but I have not had time at all (I come home from training at 12, then leave again before 3 and come home again around 6) and I'm still searching for the perfect song to use for it, so if you have any recommendations, please tell me :) But I have been wanting to make it so I will just have some patience :P

And please keep commenting and following/favouriting, thank you! :D


	37. Chapter 37 - Have No Regrets

"Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word."

― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

"You have some balls, don't you?" Merle said as we both were on guard.

"Shut up, Merle!" I muttered, not bothering to look at him.

I was lying on my stomach, gripping the rifle with both my hands. I had been here with Merle for around an hour and a half and soon it will be Glenn's turn to keep watch.

I actually volunteered to take Glenn's turn because I wanted to stay away from everyone, but Glenn didn't let me.

At first, after what I did two days ago, everyone was too stunned to do or say anything but the next day hell broke loose.

My mother went completely nuts, started yelling at Daryl, who eventually just got on his motorcycle and left and he was away all day, avoiding my mum. She actually went as far as stealing Rick's keys and locked the door of my cell while I was sleeping, Rick ordered her to release me but she hid the keys and wouldn't tell anyone where she put them, so, once Daryl was back, just minutes before sunset he was told to get his own set of keys and open the door and let me out and the worst part, even than being locked the whole day, was that he didn't look up at me, not even once while he did it.

Actually, he hadn't talked to me since I kissed him. It was an impulse, a stupid, irrational one and now he had been ignoring me and avoiding me, I had tried to talk to him and pretend everything is cool but he just won't talk to me.

"Took everyone by surprise."

"I just wanted to make a point," I muttered, I was so annoyed by Merle right now, he just hadn't stopped talking about that since we got here.

"Everyone already knew that you like him, so..."

"No," I exclaimed, interrupting him. "The point was that I'm old enough to do what I want, my mum can't control me or give me orders and expect me to follow them like if I was eight or so."

"So you kissed my brother?" Merle asked me. "Makes total sense," he added sarcastically.

"She forbade me to see him, I was just not thinking right, okay?" I said. "I regret it, alright? Because now Daryl won't talk to me and it was stupid and I shouldn't have done it."

"Have no regrets, Blondie," Merle said to me. "Life is too short and miserable to have regrets, look at me, I don't regret anything I do."

"That's because you are an insensible jerk," I told him.

"The point is that you shouldn't regret a stupid kiss, it's dumb."

"What I did was dumb."

"What you did was brave."

Right then I saw Glenn making his way to the tower so I stood up, leaving the rifle on the ground. I told Merle it was time to go and as I did, Glenn opened the door. I smiled at him before walking down the stairs, ready to go to my 'room' and just lie down for a bit.

When I walked into Block C and passed by my mother's cell, I saw her in there but she wasn't alone, she was with Axel, they were both laughing and too close to my liking.

She probably sensed my stare, making her look up at me and when she did, I glared at her, she just glared back.

I wasn't in the mood to argue even when I wanted to say so many things to her, so I just hurried to get to my cell. I slumped down on the bed and opened the bible Hershel let me borrow from him. I had already read Matthew, Mark and Luke, I was ready to start John now and the best thing was that if I didn't understand something I could ask Hershel and he almost always cleared my doubts.

I read almost half of 'John' when I was interrupted by Sean, who, without permission, just sat on my bed next to me, I looked at him like he was crazy and moved a bit away from him, not feeling comfortable being this close to him.

"Hey, Cici! What are you doing?"

"I'm reading," I muttered, almost waving the bible in front of his face.

"That's cool!" he said excitedly. "Oliver found some cards the other day, I was wondering if you wanted to play."

"I'm good with this now," I said, referring to the bible. "Maybe another time."

"Come on, it will be fun!"

"No, thanks," I muttered. "I want to read, alright?"

Since yesterday morning Sean had been almost stalking me, following me everywhere, talking to me every chance he gets, he even wanted to keep guard with me but Merle wouldn't just give in to his begging, I was so thankful to Merle for that.

Then he actually grabbed my hand and tried to pull me with him, I instantly jerked it out of his grip and glared at him, I didn't like to be touched and certainly not like this.

"Hey," I exclaimed, getting angry. "Don't touch me, okay? Just leave me alone."

"Why are you being like this? I'm trying to include you in our activities and trying to have some fun, and what has gotten into you, anyway?"

"Nothing, alright!" I muttered, in an angry tone. "I just don't like people touching me, now get out."

"Right," he said sarcastically. "Daryl touches yo..."

"Get the fuck out, now!" I yelled, not caring about other people hearing us now, I actually expected someone to hear me and come.

"What's your problem? I was just..."

"Everything okay in here?"

I looked behind Sean, and there stood Rick, his gun in his hand. Sean turned to look at him with a smile while I just shook my head to answer his question when he wasn't looking my way. Rick nodded at me.

"Why don't we leave Cici alone? She looks a bit distressed," Rick said in a kind voice, Sean smiled at him pretending everything was okay.

"Alright," he said nodding.

Rick put his hand over Sean's shoulder and led him out of my cell, Rick glanced at me for a second or two and I nodded in a thankful way before he started to make conversation with Sean.

As soon as they were out of my sight I let out a sigh of relief. Sean had been putting his arms around me or had been trying to hold my hand since yesterday and I felt uncomfortable and I discretely tried to get out of the way or get out of his grip but this was too much, I just couldn't stand it anymore, what the hell got into that guy? He barely talks to me first and then follows me around for two days in a row?

I calmed down a few minutes later, I lied down on the bed and started reading again, when I finished reading John, I closed the bible and went down, to Hershel's cell.

"Hey, Hershel," I said to the old man, who was resting on his bed. "I just read John and I have some questions."

"Of course, come in."

I grabbed a chair and put it next to the bed, I sat on it and rested my arms on its back, I started telling Hershel my questions and as usual he answered in the best way he could, giving me a new perspective and helping me understand a bit more.

Beth eventually joined us and she also helped me understand a bit more, she was raised as a Christian and knew things about the bible, while I had never opened the book until some days ago even when we did have a couple of bibles at home, but so far I had found it so interesting, I just wanted to keep reading it.

Luckily, the bible Hershel found wasn't written in the old English, the English that is so hard to understand. It was written with easier words to understand, making me more eager to read it.

The next thing to read was 'Acts' and I was going to start it tomorrow, I would read tonight but with no light that would be impossible and I wanted to make sure I understood John well before keep reading, but with the help of Beth and Hershel, all my questions were answered.

"Thank you," I said to the two of them.

"No problem, glad you are interested," Hershel told me.

After that I walked back to my room, Beth went for Judith before following me back to my room, where we talked about other things, luckily none of them concerned Daryl, my mother or even Sean.

"Was Jimmy your first boyfriend?" I asked her.

"No, he was my second, we only dated for a few months, though," she told me. "Who was your first boyfriend?"

"His name was Charlie, everyone said he was into me, I never believed them until he asked me out," I said chuckling.

"How old were you?"

"I was fourteen, dated him for like five months, I broke up with him," I said. "I didn't really like him that much."

"Was he your first kiss?"

"No," I said with a smile. "A few months before that, we were at one of my best friend's birthday party, we were playing spin the bottle and I got to kiss a boy in a grade above me that almost everyone fancied, I couldn't believe my luck."

"That sounds fun, my first kiss was so awkward, like the guy just kissed me and then smiled at me and then he just walked away, he never dared to talk to me again," Beth said with a chuckle. "I was eleven or so."

"Was he at least cute?"

"No!" Beth exclaimed.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said.

We kept talking about boys and kisses and awkward stories until Judith started crying, wanting to eat, Beth excused herself, leaving me all alone.

I was sitting on the floor crossed legged, with my back against the bed, feeling so lazy to just get up when I saw something in the back of what I could call my room, it was the crossbow that once belonged to Daryl.

I felt a pang in my heart as I thought of him and that he wasn't talking to me. After several minutes of considering my options, if I should just go talk to him or stay and leave things as they were, I just pulled myself up and walked to his cell, which was only two away from mine, which were empty.

I stood by the door frame and before I could talk Daryl noticed I was there, I opened my mouth to say something but he just rolled to his side, avoiding me.

"I was thinking you could keep teaching me how to use the crossbow," I said in a soft, shy voice as I kept fidgeting and looking at the ground, only glancing at him from time to time. "We haven't done it in a while."

"No," he mumbled.

I wasn't sure if I heard him correctly or not, but either way he really wasn't going to teach me today, he wasn't even facing me. I sighed in defeat.

"Come on, it will be fun!" I said, pretending I was alright, that him being this way didn't hurt me.

"Go the fuck away!" he exclaimed but as usual, he didn't even look at me, not even to glare.

"I just wanted to practice!"

"You can on your own!"

"Not really, besides..."

"Just leave me alone, Cecilia," he told me in a dangerously low tone, it almost scared me.

"Fine," I snapped. "I just don't get what your problem is! It was just a kiss, get over it!"

I walked back to my room being really angry, I couldn't help but say that to him, I was just so frustrated with him. Seriously, what was his problem? If he wanted he could act awkward and all that but not like this, being a complete dick.

Without thinking, I grabbed the crossbow, the five arrows I had and walked outside the prison. By the sun's position I could tell it was around 4:00, maybe a bit earlier.

I walked all the way to the other side of the courtyard, I stood a few feet away from the wooden thing Daryl had gotten so I could practice. I loaded the crossbow, now barely struggling and I shot the first arrow, I almost hit the target. I did the same with a second and third arrow and I did hit the target, it didn't cheer me on, though. I only got more upset.

I had never hit the target so fast and still I wasn't feeling anything about it, when I shot the other two arrows I walked all the way to the wooden piece and grabbed the arrows and I repeated the process, missing the target only once.

I thought shooting might release some stress but it barely did it, even Merle joined me and said I was too tensed and anxious.

I was about to give up and start to exercise, the activity that always helps me relax when I saw my mother rushing inside the prison and a few minutes later, Rick and she ran out of the prison, they ran towards the fence and opened it, seconds later I saw a car getting in.

I couldn't help but walk to them, see what was happening. I saw Andrea getting out of the car, she smiled at me but I didn't smile back, I just had a blank expression on my face.

"We need to talk," she said to Rick.

"Come on," he told her and went back into the prison with her following him closely, leaving Merle, my mother and me just standing there, which I took as an opportunity to talk to my mother.

"What the hell are you doing with that man?" I asked, almost shouting at her, Merle wasted no time to walk away from us after he heard my tone and saw the look on my face.

"It's none of your business," she muttered, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Not my business? So why are Daryl and I your business, then?"

"Because you're my daughter."

"Mum, he's a convict, you have no idea what he did to end up here!" I yelled.

"He told me, alright? And it's not like it matters, nothing we did before this matters now, we are all killers now."

"Of course it matters, it makes us who we are now, and how do you know if he's telling the truth?"

"I don't have to discuss this with you, Cecilia."

"So, are you with him now? Are you dating him?"

"What if I am? Have a problem with that?"

"Yeah," I said in a duh tone. "Actually, I do."

"Too bad," she muttered before walking away from me.

"Why do you act like such a bitch?" I shouted at her, I had never ever disrespected my mum in any way but right now I couldn't help it, she turned around quickly and took some steps towards me, she raised her hand quickly, ready to slap me.

Memories of my father flooded in my mind, I was scared yes, but I didn't show it. I just took a single step back so she wouldn't touch me, but then stayed on my spot, showing her I wasn't intimidated or scared.

"Acting like dad now?" I shot at her, looking at her with such hatred I didn't know it was possible until now. "Hit me, go ahead!" I exclaimed loudly. "I don't care, I went through that all my life, I think I can take another beating."

It seemed like my words made an effect on her because she stopped going after me and her arm dropped to her side immediately and her expression softened a bit but she kept glaring at me.

"You have no idea how hard I try to get closer to you, to forgive you but you just keep pushing me away, mum!"

"That's not true."

"Yes, mum, it's true," I said, feeling my eyes filling with tears. "After we got separated all I wanted was to find you and make things right for once and they were at first but then you just kept being... shitty to me, making me even madder at you. I just want a mum that hugs me, that tells me she loves me, not to keep my best friend away from me, because that's what Daryl is to me, he's my best friend."

"I love you, Cecilia."

"Well, show it," I said, my voice breaking at the end. "Because all my life I've wondered it, even before this. How could you let dad do everything he did to me? I was just a kid, I couldn't defend myself! Sophia couldn't defend herself! You could have protected us but instead you let him! Why?"

"I don't know!" she shouted, tears rolling down her face now. "You have no idea how much I regret it! How much I wish I could go back and change it all but I can't!"

"Then make the present alright, because what you are doing is just pushing me further and further away."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, for now and before," she told me. "I'm sorry for what your dad did to you but I want you to know that I did let him beat you but I never let him touch you in a sexual way, I never allowed that."

"What?" I asked in disbelief.

"He tried and I always stopped him, okay? I'm sorry I'm telling you now," she said as I felt more and more disgusted with myself. "He was sick, Cecilia, very, very sick."

I stared at her in disbelief, shaking my head in denial. I know he never did anything to me but just thinking my own father wanted to do something like that to me made me want to puke.

"You knew and you never got me out? You just assumed I was going to be alright?" I asked, my voice getting high-pitched.

"He never did it, did he?"

"Is that some kind of reassurance, consolation? That's gross, mum!" I exclaimed, pacing in front of her, trying not to puke and then a horrible thought crossed my mind. "Did he ever do that to Sophia?"

My mum looked at me with tears in her icy blue eyes and then just looked down at the ground, making my heart shattered. I frantically ran my hands through my messy hair, feeling how tears now fell down my face. I didn't want to cry but I was so outraged about this that I couldn't control it.

"Did he, mum!?" I shouted at her.

"Yes!" she whispered. "Just once, okay?"

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? Because it fucking doesn't! How could you do that to her? She was just a kid!"

"After you left, he stopped trying to get to you so he targeted Sophia, I just let her out of my sight one time, okay? He didn't rape her, he just... when I saw him too close to her I immediately interfered."

"Don't!" I shouted. "Don't put this on me as well! That wasn't my fault, that was all _your_ fault! I can understand why you blame me for her death because I blame myself too, but for this? No, you have no right! This is on you."

I just looked at her like if she was the worst human being ever, and for me, at this very moment she was and I couldn't hate her even more.

"It's better that's she dead," I said coldly, regretting my words immediately after I said them. "At least she's away from you."

"Don't say that," she mumbled to me, just as I turned around and started to walk back inside the prison.

"I want to know something," I said, way too calmed, stopping in my tracks and glancing back at my mother. "Did you cry when you thought I was dead?"

She said nothing to me, she just cried harder and looked down at the ground once again, her lack of words could only mean she didn't cry my death, she didn't.

"Not even a single tear, huh?" I asked with hatred, shaking my head at her out of disappointment. I stormed inside the prison, leaving her outside, crying her eyes out but I didn't care, not now and I wasn't sure if I ever will.

Actually I wasn't even sure if I ever would forgive her or talk to her again, not after what she said to me today. A part of me wished to keep being ignorant to that and not know a single thing about it, it was too much, and Daryl wasn't even talking to me, I had no one right now and I really needed him.

As I walked back in I heard Andrea arguing with Rick. I dried my tears and walked inside the kitchen, where I saw Rick, Andrea, Daryl, Hershel, Glenn and Maggie. I leaned against a wall and luckily all of them just glanced at me but then ignored my presence.

"You have to do this, Rick," Andrea told him. "For the good of everyone."

"What if it's a trap and he just kills us?"

"He won't, I'll be there. We can solve this in a pacific way!" Andrea exclaimed and I just rolled my eyes at her.

As the discussion kept on I found out Andrea wanted The Governor and Rick to talk so we could get to some kind of agreement and live in peace, I seriously doubted that could be possible.

He was a psycho, he just wanted to be the king of the world and ruled everyone and he just wouldn't forgive and forget what we did to Woodbury, he killed Teresa, he wanted to kill us all and if possible, make it a slow, painful death, especially to Michonne, Merle, Rick and me.

Rick eventually agreed and Andrea told him the conditions, the time and day they would meet, I just shook my head in disbelief and left the room without saying anything, Andrea just looked at me in a disappointed way, not like if I cared.

"Hey, you alright?" Carl asked me as I passed in front of his cell.

"Yeah," I said, forcing a small smile. "What are you up to?"

"Just reading some comics, these are really good."

"That's awesome, let me give them a look when you are done with them."

"Of course," he said smiling at me. I ruffled his hair and smiled at him one more time before turning around, ready to go to my cell. "Hey!"

"Yeah?" I said, turning around to face him once again.

"Daryl's still mad at you?" he asked me and I just nodded sadly at him.

"Yeah, he is."

"He's being an idiot, what you did was awesome."

"You and Merle are the only ones that think that, but it's done. I can't undo it, can I?"

"Don't worry, he'll come around soon," Carl told me. "He's just... I don't know, feeling awkward, scared, vulnerable, maybe even confused too."

"I hope you are right, because I miss him."

"Well, for now, you have me," Carl said with a huge smile, making me smile at him.

"I know, thanks."

With a big smile on my lips, this time a real one, I finally walked to my cell and let myself fall on my bed, being extremely exhausted, mostly mentally rather than physically.

I lied on my bed for about two hours, my mind invaded with bad and horrible thoughts until I heard dinner was ready, I ran down the stairs so I could choose where to sit. I ended up with Carl, Michonne and Beth, really far from my mother, whose eyes were puffy and bloodshot, people noticed but most didn't ask her what was wrong, luckily I didn't look as bad as her so people couldn't and didn't assume we got into another of our arguments but I knew at least two people could put two and two together and figured we had a really bad fight, especially because of my behaviour and I knew Michonne was one of those people.

She gave me a look to let me know she knew and in a way, telling me I could trust her and tell her but I just shook my head at her, not wanting to ever repeat what happened out there, I just wanted to get that memory out of my brain and burn it somehow, to never be able to remember it.

After dinner, Rick asked us to stay a bit longer, he wanted to discuss what Andrea came to tell him, I already knew but I stayed nevertheless.

"So, this Governor wants to talk," Rick started. "And I agreed to go."

Rick then explained the plan to everyone, told us when he was going to go and said he was going to take two people with him.

"I want to go," I said instantly.

"No," Rick told me, shaking his head. "You were already there, with him, he wanted you dead, I want you safe, I want you to stay here."

"But..."

"It's final, Cecilia," Rick said to me with authority. "I'm taking Daryl."

Of course, he is.

"What a shocker," I exclaimed under my breath but Rick heard me, he just gave me a look and I shrugged at him, trying to look innocent.

"And Hershel."

Well that was a real shocker, everyone looked as shocked and surprised as me, even Hershel but he didn't complain or anything, he just nodded at Rick.

"I want the rest to be ready, in case this is a trap and the rest of his people come here and attack," Rick said. "That's why I need you here, Cecilia. I need you to take care of Carl."

He knew he got me there, he knew I'd do anything for Carl, so I just nodded at him and put an arm around Carl, who smiled at me.

Hello guys, first of all I want to tell you that I know this chapter was a bit 'heavy' and I hesitated for a long time if I should change what Carol told Cecilia about Sophia or not but I decided to keep it. I'm sorry if it bothers or upsets some of you, I have no idea if that ever happened but Carol implied something like that happened when she was praying for Sophia's safety after she got lost, so I can only assume Ed was a sick bastard.

Now that we got that out of the way, I'm sure this chapter didn't go as you expected, with Daryl being like this, so why do you think he's acting like that? And what do you think of this chapter :)


	38. Chapter 38 - Tensed Encounters

"When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won.

There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible,

but in the end, they always fall. Think of it-always."

– Mahatma Gandhi

That day Rick prepared himself to go meet this Governor that had just made their lives worse since the day they crossed paths, first they kidnapped Glenn and Maggie, then they made Daryl fight his own brother after they captured him and finally he attacked them, wounded Axel and killed Teresa, plus damaging the prison.

Rick didn't know why he hadn't allowed Cecilia to come with him, he just had a feeling he should keep her away from that man, he shouldn't even see her, so he gave her a task, to take care of his son.

Around midday, Rick hugged his baby and son good-bye and got on the Hyundai they had, Hershel was going to drive. He had a hidden knife and gun around the knee of the leg he no longer had, nobody would suspect an old man with a missing leg to hide his weapons there, it was genius.

Daryl also had his crossbow, gun and knife ready, waiting for Rick, already sitting on his motorcycle. Rick wouldn't admit it but he was nervous about this meeting, it may be possible that he wouldn't get back to Carl and Judith but he was the leader, he had to do this.

The place Andrea mentioned was an abandoned place, exactly halfway to the prison and halfway to Woodbury, when they got there, Rick and Daryl went to examine the place while Hershel stayed in the car.

Rick went inside a building and even when they had agreed none of them would go inside alone, Rick wasn't surprised to see the Governor there already. A wooden table stood between the two men.

The Governor raised his arms in surrender with a big fake smile on his face, but Rick didn't smile, he looked like he wasn't in the mood to make friends.

"We have a lot to talk about," the Governor said.

"You attacked us," Rick told him. "Makes things pretty clear."  
"I was trying to make things clear. I could have killed you all," he said. "I didn't."  
"And here we are."  
Rick noticed the Governor's hands moving towards his gun, he quickly raised his hand and pointed his gun at the man's head, once again he raised his hands in surrender.

"I'm gonna remove my weapon, show that I mean to negotiate in good faith. I'd like you to do the same. May I?"

Rick said nothing or did nothing, he just slightly moved his head and hand to the right, signalling him that he could if he wanted, which he did, taking his belt off with his gun attached to it and then he hung it in behind him.

"See? No trouble," the Governor said, smiling. "Now you."

But Rick didn't do that, he just lowered his gun and put it back in its place, close to him in case he needed it, the Governor just shrugged at him.

"Well suit yourself," he said, sitting on one of the wooden chair, hesitantly Rick sat down as well.

Out of the building, the Governor's people finally arrived, Daryl grabbed his crossbow and aimed at them. There was a brunet man, he remembered him from the other night, another man with glasses, dark blond hair, who looked like a geek and Andrea.  
"What the hell? Why is your boy already in there?" Daryl demanded, still aiming at them.

"He's here?" Andrea asked in surprise.

"Yup."

Andrea just sighed in frustration before walking inside the building, leaving the four other men outside.

Both guys leaned against the car, as Hershel got out too and Daryl finally lowered his crossbow. And instead just paced around, but always having those two in his sight.  
"Maybe I should go inside," Hershel commented.  
"The Governor thought it best if he and Rick spoke privately," the man with glasses said.  
"Who the hell are you?" Daryl asked.

"Milton Mamet."  
"Great. He brought his butler."  
"I'm his advisor," Milton said, like he was used to being insulted, words didn't affect him anymore, while the other man chuckled.  
"What kind of advice?"

"Planning, biters. Uh, you know, I'm sorry. I don't feel like I need to explain myself to the henchmen."  
"You better watch your mouth, sunshine," Daryl exclaimed in a threatening tone.  
"Look, if you and I are gonna be out here pointing guns at each other all day, do me a favour, shut your mouth," the other man said to Daryl.

"We don't need this!" Hershel exclaimed quickly as Daryl walked towards the man and stood in front of him, like an alpha macho. "If all goes south in there, we'll be at each other's throats soon enough."

Daryl stepped away from him, controlling himself. He knew he just couldn't start a fight here, even when he wanted nothing more than punch Milton's stupid, nerdy face but instead he just started pacing again.

Back at the prison, everyone was preparing themselves, grabbing guns and ammo in case they could need them.

"If anyone gets pinned down, we need to make sure that they have plenty of ammo. I'll go work on the cage outside," Glenn informed the others.  
"What we should be doing is loading some of this firepower in a truck and paying a visit to the Governor," Merle said. "We know where he is right now."  
"Are you suggesting that we just go in and kill him?" Glenn asked him a bit surprised.

"Yeah, I am," Merle said, not afraid of being so blunt.  
"We told Rick and Daryl that we'd stay put," Cecilia said to him but she couldn't deny she liked his idea.  
"I've changed my mind, sweetheart," he said to her as he leant against a wall. "Being on the sideline with my brother out there ain't sitting right with me."  
"The three of them are right in the middle of it, no idea we're coming," Glenn told him. "They could get taken hostage or killed. A thousand things could go wrong."  
"And they will," Merle exclaimed.  
"My dad can take care of himself," Carl told him, just before he walked out of the room.  
"Sorry, son, but your dad's head could be on a pike real soon."  
"Don't say that to him!" Cecilia exclaimed quickly to the older man.

"It's not the right move. Can't take the risk of putting them in the crossfire. That's my decision," Glenn said with determination. "It's final."

Glenn walked out of the room, to work on the cage like he said he would, and surprisingly Merle said nothing else to the Korean guy or anyone else.

Minutes later Maggie left as well, leaving Cecilia alone with Merle, who grabbed a backpack and started to fill it with ammo.

"Don't fuck this up, Merle," the blonde-haired girl said, she was sat on the floor with her back leant against the wall. "Why can't you do as you're told for once?"

"You know why and I'm quite shocked you aren't with me on this."

"I would support you if the plan wouldn't be so dangerous, anything could happen to them and I'm not willing to take that risk."

Merle continued to grab ammunition and putting it in the bag when Glenn walked back inside, and in no time he noticed what was Merle was doing.

"Hey, you're not going!" he exclaimed.  
"I don't need permission."  
"I can't let you."  
"You can't stop me."  
"If you're gonna live here with us, it's gonna be on our terms," Maggie exclaimed, but Merle said nothing, he just grabbed a rifle and the bag, walking towards the door. "If Michonne can do it, why can't you?"

"'Cause it's my brother out there, that's why. What's the matter with y'all?" he exclaimed, raising his voice, and then turned to face Cecilia. "Especially you! You love him, you shouldn't just sit on your ass while he's out there."

"He's a big boy, Merle," Cecilia muttered, trying to ignore the fact her usual pale face turned scarlet at Merle's word.

Merle said nothing else to Cecilia, he turned around and walked to the door, where Glenn stood up quickly to prevent Merle from leaving.

"I'm not gonna let you put them in danger," Glenn muttered in a surprisngly calm tone.  
"Nut up already, boy. This guy cops a feel of your woman and you pussy out like this? Get out of my way!"  
"No."

Merle was going to push Glenn out of the way, but Glenn hold on to him, they both struggled until they fell and down the stairs they went. Michonne, Maggie and Cecilia rushed to them, holding on to Merle to get him off of Glenn, but Merle was quite strong. The five of them kept struggling until a gunshot was heard, making them all stop, stunned.

It was Beth, she was quite dramatic with firing the gun and all but it worked. Merle let go of Glenn, who didn't waste time to lock the door so Merle wouldn't be able to leave, which only made him even more furious.

"There's no reason not to use this time we have together to explore the issues ourselves," Milton said, the others had formed some kind of big circle and Milton was walking in the middle of it.  
"Boss said to sit tight and shut up," the other man, whose name was Martinez snapped at him.  
"Don't you mean the Governor?" Daryl exclaimed.

"It's a good thing they're sitting down, especially after what happened," Milton said. "They're gonna work it out, nobody wants another battle."  
"I wouldn't exactly call it a battle," Daryl told him.  
"I would call it a battle and I did, I recorded it," Milton exclaimed, raising his hand, which was holding a small notebook.

The more this man talked the more Daryl hated him, Cecilia had mentioned him a couple of times and he remembered she said she disliked him as well, which probably influenced him to dislike the man before even talking to him.  
"For what?" Daryl asked.

"Somebody's got to keep a record of what we've gone through. It'll be a part of our history."  
"That makes sense," Hershel said, just leading Milton on.  
"I've got dozens of interviews..." Milton started, getting excited but was interrupted by snarling.

Milton and Hershel stayed behind but Daryl, Martinez and Andrea, who had been kicked out about twenty minutes after she went in, grabbed their weapons, Martinez's being a baseball bat, went to where the snarling came from.

Daryl was the first to see the walkers, Martinez was next. They only saw two at first but more were coming. Daryl lowered his crossbow.

"After you," he said, doing a signal with his hand.  
"No way. You first!" Martinez exclaimed.

Andrea got sick of their attitude, walked in between them and lunged herself on the first walker, stabbing it with a knife.  
"Pussy," Martinez muttered, just before he killed the next one with his bat, hitting the walker in the head, destroying it completely against a piece of siding. Martinez looked back at Daryl with a huge smile, obviously bragging, Daryl just shrugged, unimpressed.

Daryl walked past martinez, crossbow ready again and shot one walker straight between the eyes, by the time he was done, Martinez was swinging the bat in his hand like a pro, before hitting another walker's head.

Andrea noticed they were just showing off so she walked away, knowing she wasn't needed anymore, the men didn't notice she left. Daryl instead, shot the next walker, hit it in the eye. Martinez prepared to kill the last walker but Daryl wasn't going to let him have it, he grabbed his knife, narrowed his eyes and threw the knife before Martinez could do anything, the walker fell dead for good in front of Martinez. Daryl bent down next to the body of the last walker and checked its pockets, finding some cigarettes.  
"Look what he's got," he exclaimed, showing them to Martinez. He stood up, grabbed one and offered another to Martinez.  
"Nah, I prefer menthols," he exclaimed.  
"Douchebag," Daryl exclaimed with the cigarette between his lips. "You army or something?" he asked after he took the first drag.

"Nah, I just – just hate these things," Martinez said. "After what they did to my wife, kids."  
"Sucks."  
"Thanks," Martinez muttered, getting extremely sad out of a sudden. "This is a joke, right? They ain't gonna work anything out. Sure, they'll do their little dance and tomorrow, next day they'll give the word."  
"I know."  
After that Martinez finally accepted the cigarette, Daryl took the box out of his pocket and handed it to the brunet man, who grabbed one, and they peacefully smoked together, which was quite surprising. On the other side, Milton and Hershel were having a nice conversation as well.

"May I ask how you lost your leg?" Milton asked the old man.

"I was bit."  
"So you cut off your leg to keep the infection from spreading? Interesting," Milton exclaimed in surprise and wonder. "How long after the initial bite?"

"Immediately."  
"You didn't bleed out?"

"We have good people. They took care of me." Hershel replied, as he kept reading Milton's annotations.  
"Doctors?"

"No. We learned by trial and error."  
"Me, too," Milton muttered. "May I see it? Your stump, I'd like to, um, see where the amputation was. How... high above the bite."  
"I'm not showing you my leg," Hershel exclaimed, playing it cool, so no one knew he was hiding something in there.  
"It's important data," Milton insisted.  
"I just met you, at least buy me a drink first," Hershel said intending a joke, making himself laugh and eventually Milton laughed as well.

But unfortunately inside the building no one was laughing, the atmosphere was quite tense and they weren't getting to any kind of agreement or solution.

"Now, my people, they're not combat-tested like yours are, but I've got more of them. So this fight, it will go down to the last man," the Governor said to Rick. "So let's end it, today. Let's not do this, we can walk away."

Somehow Rick didn't like where this conversation was going, by his tone he knew he wanted something and he was sure he wasn't going to like what he was going to say.

"You have something that I want," the man said, making Rick's suspicion correct. "One thing, well actually two, that makes this all, alright."  
"I'm not giving up the prison," Rick said quickly.  
"No," the Governor said chuckling, sitting down again. "No, I don't want your prison. That doesn't sound safe at all. I mean, you lost your wife, another man there."

"We're not moving on."

"Best you stay where I can keep my one good eye on you."

"What do you want then?"

"I want Cecilia," he said, making Rick's heart skip a beat and his blood to go cold. "And..."

"Can't give you Cecilia," Rick said, trying to control his anger. "Can't because you killed her, one of the walkers you brought back to the prison bit her." Rick lied before even processed it in his mind.

"That's a real shame," the Governor said, not because she died but because he couldn't have her anymore. "I guess I'll have to be satisfied with Michonne, besides, I wanted her more than the sweet, quiet Cecilia. Just turn her over and this all goes away."

Then the Governor made a pause, took off his eye-patch and showed Rick the damage Michonne had done to his right eye, which looked really disgusting.  
"Is she worth it? One woman worth all those lives at your prison? Is she?" the Governor asked.

Rick was more than glad he lied about Cecilia because he was more than sure that the Governor wanted nothing more than to torture them and slowly kill them both, mostly Michonne but Cecilia would pay as much as Michonne if he hadn't lied.

Rick didn't know what to do, he wanted them all, his family, to be safe, to be alive, but he couldn't just turn her over, Michonne. He wasn't that kind of guy.

"So, why waste your time on a two-bit vendetta? Why risk it all? You could have a statue of yourself in the town square, Governor. Killing Michonne is sort of beneath you, don't you think?"

"You could save your son, save your daughter," the Governor said in a cold voice. "Everyone you know. It's your choice."  
"If I give you Michonne," Rick spoke up after a long silence. "How do I know you'll keep your word that you'll stop?"

"You can have everything you want. I told you, I don't care about you," he said. "You think about it. Two days. I'll be here at noon."

With that the Governor stood up and walked out of the building, leaving Rick to his thoughts for a few seconds before he also stood up and walked out.

They all got back on their vehicles, even Andrea, who hesitated at first. It was not until now that she realized how bad the Governor was but truth was that she had fallen for his charming personality and his looks and after what felt like agonizing seconds for her, Andrea finally got on the passenger seat of the Governor's car.

When Rick, Hershel and Daryl got back to the prison, Carol opened the gate and some of them walked outside to meet them, including Maggie and Glenn.

"Let's get inside," Rick told them.

They all gathered in block C, in the hallway in front of the cells, almost everyone was on their feet, some leaning against the walls. Cecilia was one of the only ones that was sat, she was holding Judith in her arms, Carl was next to her.  
"So, I met this Governor," Rick announced. "Sat with him for quite a while."  
"Just the two of you?" Merle asked.

"Yeah."  
"Should have gone when we had the chance, bro," Merle said disappointed, as he walked away, but stayed at the back of the group, still interested in what Rick had to say.  
"He wants the prison. He wants us gone," Rick told the group, making everyone's heart sink, even when deep inside themselves, they knew all along. "Dead. He wants us dead for what we did to Woodbury. We're going to war!"

Surprisingly, none of them showed any kind of fear, just determination, even when almost all of them were scared, especially Rick. He was scared for Carl, for Judith, and if he died, who would take care of them? He knew the group would but if it came to a life and death situation, he wasn't so sure who would risk their lives for his kids.

With that Rick walked out of the room, leaving the Michonne part out on purpose. Merle, for starters, wouldn't hesitate to take her to that man, and everyone would start arguing about it, Cecilia would be the first to oppose and he had no idea who else would oppose and who else would be on Merle's side, and he didn't need that. He didn't need his people to waste their time arguing when it was just him who had to take that decision, as hard as it was.

Rick headed to this kind of bridge that connected a part of the prison to the other. Rick heard the door cracking but didn't bother to look who had followed him, by the sound of clutches, he knew it was Hershel, the old man stood next to Rick.

"The group's taking it as well as can be expected," he said. "Merle and Michonne are convinced we should hit first. Cecilia and Carl want to stay here, Carol and I think we should take our chances on the road. We're in this together, so if we stay and fight, so be it."  
"He gave me a choice," Rick confessed. "A way out."  
"What does he want?" Hershel asked.

"Michonne and Cecilia at first," Rick said looking at the old man. "I lied and told her Cecilia was killed the other day, so now, he just wants Michonne."  
"He'll kill her," Hershel said in a tone that made it obvious he was against turning her over.  
"And then kill us anyway," Rick told him. "But what if he doesn't? What if this is the answer?"

And that was what the question in Rick's head that was making him crazy. A very big part of him knew that giving him Michonne wasn't going to solve anything, he couldn't trust this man but a tiny part wanted to believe that the Governor was a man of his word, and that maybe, just maybe, this was the solution.

A way to keep Carl, Judith and Cecilia, who he now loved as his own daughter, and the rest of the group to be safe but at a great price, someone's life.

"Why didn't you tell them?" Hershel asked him.

"They need... to be scared."  
"They are," Hershel assured him.  
"Good," Rick said nodding. "'Cause that's the only way they'll accept it."  
"She saved my life," Hershel said quickly, referring to Michonne. "And Carl's. Glenn, Maggie... if she hadn't come here, we never would have known they were taken and everything she did for Cecilia all those months, she kept that girl alive. She's earned her place."  
"Yeah," Rick agreed. "Yeah, she has."

Rick knew she had done that ever since Carl told him she was one of them when the three of them went on a run to get more weapons and ammunition and he knew Carl didn't trust people easily, which made him more assured Michonne was a good person and that's why this decision was so hard plus he wasn't a heartless person.

Rick knew that by accepting the deal and taking Michonne to him it was the same thing as he pulled the trigger himself but he couldn't stop thinking about Judith and Carl.  
"Are you willing to sacrifice your daughters' lives for her?" Rick asked Hershel.

"Why are you telling me?" Hershel asked, instead of answering Rick's question.

"Because I'm hoping you can talk me out of it," Rick admitted.

Hello guys! Sorry for not posting until now, I was terribly sick and still not 100% okay but at least I have no more fever.

Tomorrow I have a very big important tournament, so I need to get fit again to be able to play at my fullest. This tournament will determine if I go to the Pan Ams Games in USA, in Connecticut, (does anyone live there?) but by the looks of it I will go, these two girls that were a threat to me won't play.

Well, as always thanks for keep reading and would love to hear your opinions on this chapter and what you think will happen in the next :D


	39. Chapter 39 - Tricked

" _And maybe that was love._

 _Being so vulnerable and allowing someone else in so far they could hurt you,_

 _but they also give you everything."_

― _Christine Feehan, Water Bound_

Cecilia's POV

It was already 10:00 and I still hadn't gotten out of bed, mostly because I barely slept last night. I just couldn't, not after what Rick said, I knew that the other day when the Governor attacked us was nothing, he could do so much more than that but we could also do more than what we did to Woodbury the other day, nevertheless I didn't want to go to war, I didn't want this.

"Wake up, sleeping beauty!"

I lifted my head and saw Maggie and Beth by the door, I just grunted at them and let my head fall back into the pillow.

"I'm already up," I muttered.

"Doesn't look like it," Beth said.

"I'm just... resting."

"You rested all night," Maggie exclaimed.

"Not really, I was up all night."

"Why?" Beth asked me.

"Couldn't stop thinking about the Governor and this war."

"That's why we should get ready and be prepared, we can't be taken by surprise again," Maggie told me. "Why don't you go take a shower, will help you wake up properly."

"I don't want to," I whined like a five-year-old spoiled girl.

I never got used to showering with cold water, even after about a year and when I was with Michonne and Andrea there were times we went about two or three weeks without taking a shower, disgusting I know, but the world is like that now. We brushed our teeth often tough, and when we found water we would wash our faces and sometimes armpits so we weren't that gross.

"When was the last time you shower?" Beth asked.

"Uh, two days ago, maybe?"

"Go shower, Cecilia!" Maggie told me in a motherly way. "You can help us after."

"If we die, it won't matter if I'm showered or not," I said, trying to reason with her.

"I promise I'll lock you up until you take a shower, so you better go now."

"Fine!" I exclaimed. "But I ain't washing my hair."

"Suit yourself."

Grunting, I got on my feet, grabbed clean clothes and a towel and walked to the showers room. I checked that no one was there before I undressed. I threw the dirty clothes to the corner of the room and stepped in.

The water was cold, as usual, and I hated it. I did wash my hair, though, deciding to get it over with, I applied a bit of Shampoo and conditioner we had and tried to finish as soon as possible.

I wrapped the towel around my body and dried myself, I was so cold, I didn't waste more time to get dressed and when I did I wrapped the towel around my head like I used to before the world went to hell and grabbed my dirty clothes.

I walked straight to Maggie's room and smiled real big at her, pointing my index fingers at the towel on my head.

"I showered," I announced. "I washed my hair too."

"What a good little girl," Maggie said sarcastically. "Did you brush your teeth too?"

"Actually I did," I said, smiling at her so she could see my clean and surprisingly still white teeth.

"See? Wasn't that bad, was it?"

"Yeah, it was," I admitted. "Now, I'll go."

There was a little room next the kitchen where we leave our dirty clothes, usually my mum, Maggie and Beth do the laundry with the help of some of the boys, sometimes I help too.

I put my clothes on this basket that was already filled with dirty clothes, since the Governor thing no one has cared about laundry.

I walked back into the kitchen, grabbed something to eat quickly and went back to my room, and once there I threw the towel on the floor and sat on my bed again, finishing the food I grabbed a few minutes before.

Ever since the apocalypses started, I had learnt to eat so slowly and very small pieces of food because sometimes it's all you have for a very long time and you have to taste it all before swallowing it, it had become a bit now.

Before I just used to eat fast, sometimes not even sit down to eat and I just grabbed a piece of toast and eat it on the way, not allowing myself to even taste it, just eating it to have something in my stomach.

But at these times food was a treasure, the most valuable thing you can find, next to the water and the weapons.

I saw a figure out of the corner of my eye, so I turned to look and saw Carl, who looked quite jumpy, he didn't smile at me.

"Cici, I need you."

"What is it?" I asked him, getting on my feet. He was getting me really nervous. "Something bad happened?"

"It's quite stupid, I know," he told me. "I was taking some boxes to this room and I think there was a rat or two and I just hate them so much, the others wouldn't understand but I know you would. Can you come with me, please?"

"Carl," I said sighing, mostly out of relief. "You kill walkers and you can't kill a rat?"

"Please, Cici, I need you, come with me, please."

"Fine, let's go."  
Carl actually grabbed my hand and pulled me with him, almost not giving me time to grab my knife and my gun, which I put in my waistband.

Carl was talking me further into the prison, to a place where we not often go, actually I hadn't been this far before but the place was secured and there were no walkers in here anymore.

"It's in there," Carl said, pointing to a door.

I opened it and stepped inside, grabbing my knife. The room was quite big, dark and it smelled weird but in fact there were some shelves in here and Carl had put some boxes on them.

"Are we there yet?" I heard someone asking, I turned just in time to see Daryl walking in, followed by Michonne.

"What the hell is this?" I asked.

"Michonne was also scared," Carl told me. "We were here together, I didn't know she was going to go for Daryl."

"Whatever," Daryl muttered. "Where are the rats anyway?"

"Michonne and I saw two in that corner," Carl said, pointing to the farthest corner in the room. "We heard more there."

I sighed and went to the second place Carl pointed, holding my knife tightly with my left hand. I was looking for the animals I hated so much when I heard the door slamming shut, I jumped around and ran to the door, which now was closed.

I tried to open it but it was locked, Daryl actually pushed me out of the way and tried to open it as well but there was no use, those two locked us in.

"Open the damn door!" Daryl shouted, banging the door with his palm.

"We won't open the door until the two of you fix things," I heard Carl's voice saying from the other side. "And don't even try to shout, no one will hear you."

"Carl, what the hell? Let us out, now!"

"Have fun!"

I actually could hear their footsteps as they walked away and I couldn't help but banged the door a couple of times as well, out of anger.

I leant against the wall and let myself slump down to the ground. I bent my knees and rested my elbows on them, and my head on my hands.

Daryl didn't sit, he paced around the room, running his hands through his semi-long hair, messing it a bit and at all costs, he tried to avoid to look at me and I did the same but I couldn't stop feeling so awkward about all of this.

I still couldn't believe Carl and Michonne set us a trap and locked us together and quite far from the group so they couldn't hear us, very smart of them, I might add, but still I wasn't in the mood to praise them or anything because I was the one locked in.

I let myself look up, and noticed the room had a single small window, making the room really, really dark and there was no electricity here to make it a bit more lighter, I just really hoped there really weren't rats in here.

I came to the conclusion that we were going to be here for a very long time so I lied down on my back, and raised my legs and rested then against the wall. I closed my eyes and put an arm over my eyes.

"What the hell are you doing?" Daryl snap at me.

"Getting comfortable," I muttered. "I advice you to do the same, we'll be here for quite a while."  
"Thanks to you."

"I didn't ask them to do this!" I exclaimed, moving my arm and opening my eyes to look at Daryl. "We both fell in the trap, easy as that."

Daryl didn't say anything else but I heard him grunting, I closed my eyes again and imagined I wasn't here, I actually imagined I was in a beach in the Caribbean taking the sun but it was hard to concentrate as I kept hearing Daryl's footsteps as he paced from one side to the other.

"Can't you just sit down?" I asked without opening my eyes.

"No," Daryl grumbled, quite rudely.

I sighed. I was actually extremely sad and hurt by Daryl's attitude lately, I hated this side of him and I didn't even know what I did.

"We should pretend we are okay," I said. "Maybe Carl will let us out."

"And then I'll kill him."

Daryl kept walking around the room, I could hear him. I had to agree I wanted to kill Carl too and then Michonne, they wanted to help but by the looks of it, it really wasn't helping.

I was so sick of hearing his footsteps and not being able to take it anymore, I sat up, looking at Daryl, who kept ignoring me.

"I don't even understand what your problem is!" I exclaimed, making him glance at me. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry, I wish I hadn't kissed you, okay?"

"Of course you do," he spat. "Who would want to kiss me, anyway?"

"What?" I exclaimed, feeling a bit surprise he actually sounded hurt. "Is that what you think?"

"No, I know it."

"Well, if I hadn't wanted I wouldn't have kissed you!" I exclaimed, surprising myself with my own words. I actually wanted to kiss him.

"Just shut your mouth."

I wanted to keep arguing but what else would I say it? And I didn't want Carl to come back and hear us arguing, so I just crossed my legs and started to play with the tips of my hair, I had nothing better to do.

Eventually I divided my hair in half, which was still a bit wet, and started to braid one half first and then moved to the other side, luckily I had some hair ties on my wrist. I usually have two on my wrist in case the one in my hair breaks or I lose it.

"I don't care if you keep hating me, okay?" I found myself saying as I finished the second braid. "I just want to know why, a simple kiss couldn't make you this mad."

"You know nothing, do ya?" he spat at me but said nothing else, I finally got the hint he wasn't telling me anything.

"We are in danger, Daryl. I don't know if we are going to live another day and I don't want to die not knowing what I did."

"Don't use that crap on me, girl!"

"It's the truth," I said, standing up. "And I'm not leaving you alone until you tell me."

"Wanna know?" he exclaimed, walking to me with his finger pointed at me in an accusing way, he was quite intimidating but I didn't step back. "You fucking used me, Cecilia!"

"What?"

"Wanted to defy your mum so you fucking kissed me, didn't mean anything to you, you just used me, just like that."  
"That's not true!" I exclaimed, feeling like shit because of what Daryl was telling me. "I never intended to make you feel like that."

"But you still did."

"I'm sorry, if I could take it back, if I could undo it, I would."

"I bet you are more than anxious to do that, erase the mistake you made."

"I didn't mean it like that but if not doing it means we would still be friends, then yeah," I said, nodding. "I'm sorry I made you feel like that, honestly."

"You could have used anybody else," he exclaimed, walking away from me, so I was facing his back now. "Sean maybe, or Oli..."

"I don't fucking like Sean!" I exclaimed angrily, going after him. "And besides my mother never mentioned him, it was about you. Kissing Sean wouldn't make a statement."

"See? You just used me."

"Fine, I'm sorry. But anyone would have gotten over that and move on already, why not you? Why can't you just forgive me?"

"Because you ruined it." I heard him say and I felt how my heart shattered.

"What did I ruin? Us?" I asked, not showing him how much his words hurt me.

"You just don't get it, do you?" he shouted, again, turning to face me and stepping only inches away from me. "I fucking like you, alright? There, I said it!"

"What?" I asked in disbelief after I recovered from the shock.

"I wanted to kiss you back at the lake," he said loudly, shouting right in front of my face. "I wanted it to be special, it's stupid and pathetic but I wanted that, so I was going to try again and then you just do that and ruin it all!"

Daryl walked away from me, running his hands through his brown hair even more frantically than before, while I just stayed there in the same spot, too stunned to be able to move or say anything.

"But don't worry, now I know you don't like me it was dumb to think you could ever like someone like me!" he shouted but this time he was a few feet away from me. "Now we can all go back to our lives and focus on what really matters, like the Gov..."

"How can you think that?" I said quite loud, this time being me walking to him, finally snapping out of my trance. "There's nothing wrong with you."

"I'm fucking trash, Cecilia! Always have been, I'm the kind of person mothers don't want their daughters to end up with, I'm fucking no one," he exclaimed. "Never was and never will, I was just..."

"I said there's nothing wrong with you!" I said quickly, interrupting him as I walked closer to him. "You..."

"Don't," Daryl said, walking away from me. "Don't say words just to make me feel better, I don't need your pity!"

I had enough of him. I went after him, put a hand on his shoulder and turned him around, slightly pushing him against the wall that was only about a foot away from him, I stood in front of him and stared right into his now, dark blue eyes.

"I like you, Daryl, goddamn it!" I almost shouted at him. "Couldn't you just let me speak?"

Daryl said nothing to me, he stared back into my eyes, his lips slightly parted. I was a bit surprised I admitted it to him and I said those words I realized how much I actually liked him and that I have for quite a long time, I was just too stubborn to admit it.

Everyone could tell, everyone knew, even Sophia did and that was almost a year ago, had I actually liked him that long? Did he like me since then?

"Don't say words you don't mean, Cecilia," he said and for the first time, he didn't shout.

"I like you," I repeated. "Just never thought you could like someone like me."

"What's wrong with you?" I just shrugged.

"You heard my mum," I said. "I'm damaged."

"We all are."

"So you are agreeing with her?"

"Well," he said and I could actually see his lips forming a slight smirk. "There's nothing I can't fix, is it?"

"I don't know," I said as my lips formed a smirk identical to his. "I guess, we'll have to find out."

"I guess we'll have to start as soon as possible," he softly muttered, leaning in a bit. "Or the damage might be... beyond repair."

"I agree," I said, leaning in a bit as well, closing even more the distance between us.

We looked into each other's blue eyes for a couple of seconds, I could feel his hot breath on me and even when this wasn't technically going to be our first kiss and I wasn't nervous during the first, I was freaking out about this. I was feeling vulnerable and inexperienced and just very, very nervous, but all those thoughts about my insecurities vanished when Daryl finally closed the space between us and kissed me.

I kissed back immediately and I couldn't help but smile into the kiss when I felt one of his hands on my cheek, caressing it.

He pulled away, I looked up at him and he was already looking at me and had a big smile on his lips, which made me smile even more at him.

I couldn't deny how magical it felt and how happy it made me. For once I wasn't worrying about anything and I was truly happy, nothing else mattered, not right now.

I got that same feeling I had when I kissed him that day, and that same feeling I had gotten multiple times, like when he was showing him how to use his crossbow, or when we went on that run together, or when he sat on me on our way to Woodbury or even when he found me in the woods all those months ago, but this time it was stronger, way more stronger.

I raised my hands, held on to a part of his leather vest and pulled him closer to me, I smiled once again just before kissing him again, he instantly kissed back and seconds later he put his arms over my shoulders as I kept gripping his vest.

"So," I said, breaking the kiss, but rested my forehead against his. "Does this mean we are together?"

Daryl lifted his head and I seriously feared I had said the wrong thing but only a couple of seconds later I heard him chuckle.

"Yes, you silly," he muttered, grabbing my hands in his and pecking my lips once again. "Come on."

Daryl grabbed my hand as he walked closer to the door, he sat down and I did the same but eventually, I lied down and used his lap as a pillow, feeling extremely happy I could be this close to him again. As we talked, Daryl grabbed one of my braids and started playing with my blonde hair.

"Let me understand this," I said. "You were mad because I ruined our first kiss?"

"Yeah, well..." he said and then sighed. "Actually second kiss."

"What?" I asked in surprise, sitting up, facing him and looking straight into his eyes.

"The other day, that wasn't our first kiss," he told, looking at the ground.

"Uh, Daryl, I don't count the kisses on the cheek."

"Neither do I," he exclaimed in a duh tone. "Remember when we were in the CDC?" I nodded. "The day it exploded, we kissed."

"You're joking, right?" I asked in complete and utter shock.

"Nope, Jenner told us there was no hope, we went back to our room and we drank a whole bottle of wine, remember? Before opening the second, before the air and the lights stopped working, we..." He sighed. "We kissed."

"I don't remember," I admitted. "So, we kissed all those months ago and you said nothing!" I exclaimed, frustrated. "Why did you never mention it?"

"We were both drunk, I assumed it didn't mean anything!" he exclaimed, frustrated as well. "We thought there was no hope, so there was nothing to lose if we kissed, right? And since you never even mention after we got out of there, I thought it was just something meaningless."

"I can't believe it," I said with a small smile, trying to remember that day but all I could remember was the explosion.

I lied down again and put my head back in Daryl's lap, and this time it was me who started playing with one of my braids.

"We should pretend we are still mad at each other," he told me as he looked down at me with a smile.

"Don't you mean pretend that you are still mad at me?"

"Whatever," he said with a chuckle. "What do you think?"

"If that means Carl won't let us leave, then no, but we could try."  
I wasn't sure how much it had passed but we eventually had nothing else to say and we were emerged in a comfortable silence.

I was almost falling asleep when I started hearing hushed voices, getting closer and closer, accompanied by footsteps and the sound of keys, bumping into each other.

"How could you even think of doing something like this?" Maggie exclaimed, probably at Carl and Michonne.

"I just wanted to help!" the sweet voice of Carl said.

Daryl, quickly lifted my head from his lap, stood up and walked over the other side of the room, sitting down again and crossing his legs, he grabbed an arrow and started to play with it, pretending he had been there all this time, while I got on the position I was at the start of this, I lied down on my back with my legs up, against a wall, I put an arm over my eyes and closed them.

"It's too quiet," I heard Carl saying. "You don't think they killed each other, right?"

"You better pray they didn't," a third voice said, it belonged to Oliver. "You will be in so much trouble if they actually killed each other."

I heard the door being opened but still didn't even open my eyes or move, I pretended I had fallen asleep. I actually heard Carl sighing out of relief when he saw we were both alive.

"About damn time!" Daryl exclaimed angrily as he stood up and walked to the door. "I was starving in here!"

It was then when I finally opened my eyes and saw Maggie, Carl, Oliver and Beth by the door and Daryl not wasting any more time to get out of the room and risking being locked in here again.

I stood up quickly, too quickly I actually blacked out for a few seconds but when I got alright again, I just glared at Carl, and where was Michonne?

"How long did you leave us here?"

"About two hours," Carl said in a small voice. "Maybe three."

"What?" I exclaimed. "Was it really that long? I luckily fell asleep."

"So you didn't fix things?" Carl asked with a bit of hope in his voice.

"Nope," I said, walking past all of them and out of the room. "He yelled at me at first then I just ignored him and fell asleep."

"Seriously?" Carl asked me, catching up with me. "So, I got in trouble for nothing?"

"You got in trouble?"

"Yeah, dad was looking for Daryl everywhere," Carl said looking at the ground. "After about an hour of making up excuses I had to tell him."

"Well, serves you right. That wasn't nice!" I told him, pretending to be upset at him, I actually was a bit angry at him, but just a tiny bit.

"I just wanted you two together, to fix things, to at least be friends again."

"Sorry to disappoint you, buddy," I said, ruffling his long brown hair. "And where is Michonne?"

"Helping around, dad doesn't know she helped me," he said. "He'll kill her."

By now Carl and I had gotten back to block C, Maggie, Oliver and Beth joined us soon but then went to the kitchen to keep helping. Merle was by the door, checking his gun as he had his back and one foot against the wall, he glanced at me and just smirked.

"Heard the little man here locked you up," he casually commented. "Had any fun?"

"Loads," I said sarcastically. "You should have joined us."

"If I had known, I would have," he said with a wink and I just rolled my eyes at him, knowing only filthy things were running in that mind of his.

Not long after that we all gathered in the kitchen area to eat, as usual I was next to Carl, who looked extremely sad and disappointed his plan didn't work out, well it did, but he didn't know that.

I stood up to serve myself some of the noodles, after I was done I almost bumped into Daryl, I was about to apologize and keep going when his soft expression turned into a fake glare.

"Get out of my way!" he snap at me and walked past me, he didn't shout or anything but everyone heard him, so far no one knew we weren't mad at each other anymore.

"Screw you!" I muttered angrily.

When Daryl sat down next to Rick, I could faintly hear Rick telling him to just get over it and start talking to me again, apparently everyone felt uncomfortable with the two of us like this, everyone except my mother, who at the moment was smiling a bit, probably at the fact we were fighting, and then she kept chatting with Axel.

My appetite was almost completely gone as I saw the two of them being so close, I had nothing against Axel, I just didn't like him bonding with my mum in that way.

Even when we were in the worst of terms with my mum, who I had started to call Carol instead of mum, still was my mother, like it or not, and I really was against her being with Axel.

As the pair kept laughing and having a nice conversation, I kept glaring at them but the final straw was when Axel rested one of his hands on my mum's thigh. I jumped out of my seat and stormed out of the room, I couldn't tolerate them, especially when I was eating.

Michonne went after me about five minutes after I stormed out, giving me some time to calm myself a bit, she demanded me to know what was wrong with me and even when I didn't want to say it, I needed to, so I ended up telling her about them and the horrible fight we had some days ago.

But after an hour or so I got to calm myself because no matter how bad things were no one was going to ruin this day, not even the Governor. I was extremely happy because Daryl and I got together and I had to enjoy that, cherish the few nice and pleasant moments we had and I was going to do that.

Well, there you go, what everyone was waiting for. I really do hope everyone likes it and I expect lots of you to comment and let me know what you think :D

On another note, I'm still sick :( I don't know what's wrong with me, I have so many symptoms and I feel so bad. But here's the update of this week.

Don't forget to review! 3


	40. Chapter 40 - Soldier Down

"The sorrow we feel when we lose a loved one is the price we pay to have had them in our lives."  
― Rob Liano

The following day was full of sorrow, fear, despair and anguish but also hope, determination and a thirst of victory and revenge.

Not long after everyone was up, Rick called Hershel and Daryl outside to talk privately, which only made me a bit suspicious. I wasn't sure what was going to happen later and Rick wasn't being that specific.

As they talked outside, I saw Merle had started to tear apart some of the mattresses, there was no one else around so I walked into the same cell and grabbed the second mattress there and with my knife I also tore it apart.

"What are you doing?" Merle asked me with his eyebrows raised at me.

"Same thing you are doing," I told him, knowing exactly what he was looking for. "If I find anything, it's mine."

"You are not even going to share a tiny part with your old pal Merle?" he asked with fake hurt. "I would share with you, besides, how do you even know about this?"

"I was in jail for a while," I said casually, trying to act cool about the information I let slip out of my mouth, I knew Merle wouldn't tell anyone and wouldn't judge me. "My cell mates showed me all the treasures you can hide in these," I said, pointing at the mattress in front of me.

"You are full of surprises, ain't ya, Blondie?" Merle asked with a chuckle. "What did you do?"

"I'll never tell," I said, not looking at him. "All you need to know is that I ended up there and I know some tricks, just like you."

"I like you more now, Blondie." he said with a smirk, looking directly at my face.

Merle and I moved from cell to cell, he usually grabbed the mattress that was up in the bunker bed and I grabbed the one on the bottom, making sure we checked every corner of those things.

We were alone for quite a while, Rick kept talking with Hershel and Daryl outside, Glenn, Sean and Axel were checking the vehicles, Beth was taking care of Judith and the rest were checking the weapons and ammunition, making sure everything was in order.

"Found something," I exclaimed happily, holding a very small plastic bag. There was barely something to feel a slight sensation. "I'm going to give you some just because we've always been on good terms."

Merle held his opened palm in front of me as I allowed almost half of the white powder to fall on it, he smiled and wasted no time to use it.

I had used drugs on occasional times, before, after and mostly during my time in prison. I never used them often, mostly because I didn't have the money and I didn't want to get addicted to them but I had to admit they made things a lot better for a while.

I emptied the rest of the content of the bag on my palm and used it, Teresa was the one who showed me how to use the heavy stuff, she didn't get high often, though.

"Maybe we can find some more," Merle commented as he stood up and by his face it was quite obvious the drug had already kicked in. "Seriously Blondie, why did we never hook up?"

"I already told you," I said to Merle as we walked into the next cell. "Back at Woodbury."

"Back then I had no idea how awesome you actually are, we would make a hell of a team," Merle said with a wink. "Getting high during the day, making love, sweet love during the nights. Zero attachments, you know?"  
"Not interested, Merle," I said with a shrug.

"I guess I'm too late, Blondie," he said with a chuckle. "My baby brother beat me to it."

"What?" I asked in disbelief.

"Don't play dumb, I know my brother better than anyone and I saw the way you two look at each other," he said making me blush instantly. "You can fool everyone else, pretending to be mad at each other but not me."

I kept looking at the mattress I had in my hands even when I was sure there was nothing in it, I just didn't want to look up and see Merle, who at the moment wasn't looking for drugs anymore, he was just watching me.

"Knew as soon as you were released and walked back here, saw it in his eyes," Merle told me and then I finally dared to look back at him, who for once, looked completely serious. "You make him really happy, happier than I had ever seen him. So at least he has something good in this shit world."

"Thanks but he also has you," I mumbled.

"I let him down so many times..." he said trailing off.

"He loves you," I told him. "More than you think."

"Hmm, if he ever has to decide, I'm not sure he would pick me again," he admitted. "He realized that time he made a mistake by going with me."

"Merle, you're his brother. I'm not even close to compete against you. Not even if things get serious between us."

"You make him happy, I just make chaos wherever I go." He shrugged. "Besides, with you he can get la..."

In that moment we heard someone going up the stairs, so Merle stopped in mid-sentence, which I was glad because I knew he was going to say something sexual, as usual. He continued to rip apart the mattress in front of him in silence, while I turned to look out of the cell to see who was coming, it was Rick.

"Just looking for a little vacation," Merle informed him. "Best dope I ever had was in a mattress."

"Does your mum know what you are doing, Cecilia?" Rick asked in a fatherly, authoritative way, just because he called me Cecilia instead of Cici, I knew he wasn't happy.

"It's not like it matters," I said shrugging.  
"Can you go check on Carl for me?" Rick said and I just gave him a look. "I need to talk to Merle," he told and then he added, "alone."

"Alright," I said, standing up, getting the direct indirect. "Save me a small part if you find anything," I said to Merle as I walked out of the cell.

"Nothing," he muttered. "This place must have been no fun at all."

"We need your help." I heard Rick saying to Merle as I reached the bottom of the stairs, Merle just laughed.

Rick looked down at me and I just flashed him a smile before hurrying out of there, I actually wanted to hear something else but Rick caught me and waited for me to be out of there before he started talking again.

I walked into the kitchen where I saw my mother and Beth, the girl smiled at me as soon as she saw me and I smiled back at her. The little amount of drug I found was slightly kicking in but it wasn't enough to make me high or anything.

"Can you watch over Judith?" Beth asked me. "Maggie and Carl are helping get the walkers away from the the prison so they can set up a few traps, you know? And I want to help them, your mum will stay here, so you won't be alone, please?"

"Uh, I..."

"Please? She already ate and she will fall asleep soon, you just need to sit next to her crib in case she cries," Beth begged.

"Okay." I nodded, not being happy about being left alone with my mother in the same room. "I'll take care of her."

"Thanks!" Beth exclaimed smiling and ran outside.

I wanted to go out there too but I admit Beth takes care of Judith all the time, she needs a break from the baby, maybe going out will help her release some stress.

I glanced down at the crib and looked at the baby that was around a month old, as Beth said Judith's eyes were half opened, she was falling asleep but she was fighting it. She looked so peaceful I envied her, she had no idea what was going on.

I sat at the table closest to the crib, and started to braid my hair so it wouldn't get in the way if we had to fight today and it was a good way to pass time and ignore my mother, who was checking some boxes of ammunition.

I knew my mum was looking at me, I could feel her stare, and probably she wanted to say something but still hadn't dare or didn't know what to say while I just kept doing my braid.

Fortunately, Merle walked into the room and went up the stairs to look outside from a window that was on the top and with his presence in the room the awkwardness was mostly gone.

"Ain't no way," he muttered.  
"What?" my mother asked.

"Nothing," he said. "We got any whiskey? Hell, I'd even drink vodka."  
"Go to hell, Merle!" my mother exclaimed, looking up at him.

Merle just chuckled and then walked around the little hall until he reached the stairs, going down only a few steps and then rested his elbows on the rail.  
"Are you with us?" my mother asked, this time not looking at him.

"Sure."  
"I'm not talking about occupying the same space," then she turned to look at him again and I did too. "Are you with us?"

"I'm here for my brother."  
"Well, he's here for us," she said, getting a bit uncomfortable but hiding it well. "It's not time to do shots. It's time to pick a damn side."

If only she knew the two of us were looking for drugs some minutes ago, she never found out I did them a few times before this and I just knew she would kill me if she ever found out, she went mad when she found out I occasionally smoke after I was out of jail, a horrible habit I started in prison.  
"You ain't like you was back in the camp," Merle told her "A little mouse running around, scared of her own shadow."  
"It wasn't my shadow, it was my husband's," she said, glancing at me for a couple seconds, Merle did too, but then they looked back at each other.  
"Well, you don't seem scared of nothing anymore."  
"I'm not."  
"You're a late bloomer," he told her as my mother grabbed a backpack she had been filling with ammunition.  
"Maybe you are, too," she commented before she left.

Judith started to get a bit restless then, I actually thought she was going to fall asleep. I decided to leave her there, maybe she was going to calm down by herself but she didn't. I sighed, stood up and picked her up.

"Good luck with that," Merle exclaimed as he went down the rest of the steps, leaving the room as well, leaving me alone with Judith.

She had eaten, been burped and her diaper was changed so I had no idea what else she could want besides sleeping but every time I tried to put her back in the crib, she just started crying again so I gave up. I sat again but this time with the baby in my arms, she was a bit restless but she didn't cry anymore.

"Hey!"

I turned around and saw Daryl by the door, he had his crossbow over his shoulder and as usual he wore his winged-vest, I smiled at him before glancing down at Judith again.

"Hi," I said to him.

"Have you seen Merle?"

"Yeah, he was here about ten minutes ago," I told him. "I don't know where he went, though."

Daryl then walked into the room and went straight to me, I didn't see him but I heard his footsteps, when he was in front of me I looked up to see him. He bent down until his face was in front of mine and then he put his hand on my cheek and caressed it before he just put his lips on mine, it didn't last long but it was enough to make my heart melt.

"Hadn't had the chance to do that today," he muttered as he looked into my eyes with a smile on his lips but I could see in his eyes fear and sorrow and also his face looked like he wasn't okay with something.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Nothing," he said, leaning backwards and letting his hand drop to his side. "I need to look for Merle."

Before leaving he stroked Judith's head, pecked the top of my head and then walked out of the room. I knew something besides the war with the Governor was going on, and he and Rick knew and probably Merle as well, which was extremely weird.

Maybe the Governor wanted vengeance on Merle? Maybe it was something that concerned him and maybe that's why Daryl looked so torn.

I looked back down at Judith and noticed she had finally fallen asleep, as careful as I could, I stood up and lay her down on her crib and as I did, Hershel and his two daughters walked in, I smiled at them and they all returned the smile even when all our smiles weren't completely real.

"Want to join us, Cici?" Hershel asked me. "We'll read a Psalm from the bible in these dark times."

"Sure," I said and sat next to Maggie, right in front of Beth, who put her hands on top of mine after I rested them on the table.

"Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night. Nor for the arrow that flieth by day. Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness. Nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday. One thousand shall fall at thy side and ten thousand at thy right hand. But it shall not come nigh thee. Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked. Surely He shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler and from the noisome pestilence." Hershel read.

I only smiled at him when he was done, but he didn't smile back, he looked down at the bible in his hands, looking really bothered by something.

"Are you okay?" Beth asked him, letting go of my hands and grabbing his instead.

"What I wouldn't do to keep you two safe," he muttered, looking at Maggie and Beth.

He was going to say something else when Rick walked by, we all turned to look at him and Hershel almost jumped out of his seat and hurried to get to his side, it was quite fast for a man of his age using crutches.

"Rick? What you're about to do..."

"I can't," Rick said quickly. "I won't."

The three of us just stood up and looked at the two men, I was so confused by their conversation I wanted to ask what was going on but Rick walked away right when I was going to ask.  
"What was that about?" Maggie asked.

"Nothing," Hershel muttered, dismissing her.

"I'll go out, guard or something," I muttered, sensing the atmosphere was getting a bit tense.

I walked out of the prison quickly and immediately saw Daryl, I smiled and walked towards him. He turned around, noticed me and smiled back.

"Found Merle?" I asked him.

"Yeah." he nodded. "Did Judith fall asleep?"

"A while ago," I told him. "Beth is taking care of her now."

"Are you scared?" he asked me.

"A bit," I admitted. "Are you?"

"A bit," he muttered.

We were all alone here so he wrapped his arms around my torso and I hugged him back immediately, resting my head on his shoulder while he rested his against the top of my head. I allowed myself to close my eyes and enjoy this moment because I had no idea how much it was going to last and when we were going to repeat it.

"We have such bad timing," Daryl muttered, speaking about getting together one day before we could die.

"Better later than never," I told him.

"I suppose."

I wasn't sure how much time we stayed in each other's arms but we were interrupted by someone opening the entrance door and walking out, we quickly pulled away and just stayed closed to each other, looking at Rick as he approached us.

"It's off!" he exclaimed. "We'll take our chances."  
"I'm not saying it was the wrong call, but this is definitely the right one," Daryl said and his eyes brightened a bit. "What's wrong?"

"What's off? Why everyone knows but me?" I exclaimed.

"I can't find Merle or Michonne," Rick exclaimed, ignoring my question. "They've gone."  
"Come on," Daryl exclaimed as he started running, Rick and I ran after him.

The three of us went inside a room that had another entrance, the generators were in there, but that was it, Merle wasn't in here.  
"He was in here," Daryl commented. "Said he was looking for drugs."

"I guess he didn't find anything in the mattresses," I mumbled under my breath but Daryl heard me.

"What?"

"Nothing," I said with an innocent smile.  
"Merle said a lot of things, actually," Daryl continued as he walked deeper into the room, followed by Rick and me. "Said that you were gonna change your mind."  
Almost at the other end of the room there was a white bag on the floor, Daryl knelt to inspect it. I wasn't liking this. What was going on?

"Yeah, he took her here. They mixed it up," Daryl said as he looked at the floor.  
"Damn it! I'm going after him!" Rick exclaimed as he was already going to the door.  
"You can't track for shit," Daryl told him.  
"Then the both of us."  
"No, just me," Daryl said as he stood in front of Rick to stop him. "I said I'd go and I'll go."

"I'll go too," I said quickly, Daryl opened his mouth to disagree but I beat him to it. "Michonne's my friend, I need to go for her."

Rick and Daryl didn't look happy about it but Rick agreed and let me go, Daryl just sighed and I just gave him a look.

"It's not like I'm safe here either, Daryl," I said, walking to the door.

"Wait," Rick said as I put my hand on the knob. "Weren't you mad at each other?"

"Yeah, well," I said, biting my lip. "We can die, right? It's better if we die as friends than enemies."

"Right," he said a bit confused. "Well, I'm glad."  
"You need to be ready when they come," Daryl told him and Rick nodded. "Your family, too."

Daryl pushed the door and ran out of there, I just flashed Rick a smile before I also ran outside before Daryl could leave me behind.

"Stay safe," I heard Rick yelling at me, I nodded even when he couldn't see me.

Since Daryl needed to track, we went on foot. Daryl concentrated hard, so at first we didn't talk at all, I just followed him closely and looked at every direction, making sure there were no walkers and also that we weren't being followed. Every once in a while I saw a walker or two and I killed them with my knife, so far I had killed about twelve.

"You should have brought your crossbow," Daryl said, not even bothering to look at me. "You wouldn't have to go to them to be able to kill them."

"I think now it's not the best time to practice," I told him. "Plus you didn't give me any time, if I would have gone for it you would have left me."

"True," he said with a slight chuckle.

Apparently Merle had chosen to walk on the road instead of going through the woods, which made tracking a bit harder for Daryl but he was pretty good at it, I saw nothing but a dirty street.

"Daryl?"

"Hmm?"

"What is going on?" I asked him, and he briefly stopped and looked at me and then resumed looking for tracks. "Why did Merle took Michonne?"

"The Governor said that if we give him Michonne, then there will be no war," Daryl told me, making me stop dead in my tracks. "Rick was going to do it but he changed his mind so Merle took her."  
"Are you for real? Why Rick did even consider it? I don't even want to imagine what that man would do to her, oh my God!" I exclaimed, getting a bit hysterical. "Michonne took his eye, saw him for what he really was and killed his walker daughter, still daughter, though."

"I know, I never agreed to it," Daryl told me sincerely. "There was the possibility that he would leave us alone, Rick has to think about his kids, that's why he considered it."

"He would kill us anyway," I exclaimed. "That's how he is."

Minutes later Daryl got into the woods, I just followed him, not daring to interrupt him again, besides I was so furious and scared about the Michonne thing I didn't know what to say.

It didn't pass long until we saw a person and not any person, it was Michonne. She was stabbing a head, guess she didn't have much to do if she was actually stabbing a head.

"Michonne!" I exclaimed and ran to her.

"Hey!" Daryl said. "Where's my brother? You kill him?"

"Daryl!" I exclaimed in disbelief.

Michonne shook her head, "He let me go," she told Daryl.  
"Don't let anyone come after me," Daryl exclaimed as he started running.

"I'm sorry," I added quickly before running after him.

Daryl stopped or slowed down only a few times and then started running at full speed again, I had to be honest, I was having a hard time keeping up with him but he knew his brother, he knew how unpredictable Merle can be, so he wasn't wasting any time, he needed to get to him.

Daryl stopped for good when we reached the place where the last meeting with the Governor took place, he told me it was here.

"Let's separate," I told him.

"Are you crazy?" he snapped at me.

"We might find him faster that way, stop arguing and look for him," I told him. "I'll be safe, I promise."

Before Daryl could protest, I walked away from him, going in the opposite direction. I walked with my knees slightly bent, trying to not be spotted. Rick told me last night the Governor wanted me but he believed I was dead, so it looks like he wanted both of you but Rick left that part out.

As I kept walking, though, I saw not a living soul, just bodies and walkers feeding on them. I threw my knife at one that was close to me but hadn't spotted me, the knife went straight at the bottom of his head, it fell dead-dead on the floor.

I walked over it, retrieved my knife and threw it at another walker that was a bit farther away from me, but this one had already spotted me. As the first one, I killed it with just one shot and repeated the process with a third walker.

As I kept walking I saw some more walkers but since they were quite away from me, I didn't bother with them, at least not now, I needed to find Merle and at the same time be careful, just in case the Governor and his men were around.

I checked everywhere and there was no sign of Merle or anyone alive really, everyone was dead here. I decided to go back and find Daryl, luckily there weren't any more walkers to kill.

As I walked to Daryl, I only saw more bodies, all of them had been shot in the head and some were half eaten, it was pretty disgusting. I decided to hurry and find Daryl and when I did find him, he was on the floor, I instantly ran to him, thinking he was injured, he had some blood on his shirt and hand.

"Daryl!" I exclaimed as I knelt next to him.

I was going to ask him what was wrong when I noticed uncountable tears falling down his face, I didn't know what to say. I knew Daryl wouldn't cry like this or even shed a tear if he got bit or injured in some way, it must be something else.

I looked around and saw a body quite close to us, at first I didn't mind him, it was just a walker, but I kind of recognized that shirt. I looked at the body more carefully, its face was destroyed, probably Daryl's doing but then my heart just stopped beating, because this walker was missing a hand and had instead a medical stuff and a knife taped to it.

Merle.

I turned to look at Daryl with tears already in my eyes. Daryl was on his back with his hands covering his face as he cried.

Hesitantly I put my hand on top of his forearm, he flinched but didn't remove it or yell at me, which I kind of expected.

"Daryl," I whispered, not knowing what to say to make him feel better, because nothing would make him feel better.

I ventured a bit more to lay my head on his chest and put my arms around him, hugging him, because that was all I could do. He didn't push me away which was good.

I didn't know how much time we spent like that but it didn't matter, I just looked around in case of a threat but so far we hadn't been interrupted.

Then I felt how Daryl started to sit up, making me sit up as well and letting go of him. He didn't look up at me but he had stopped crying. I stood up and stuck out my hand at him, he took it and I helped him up, once he was on his feet I wrapped my arms around him tightly, trying to tell him that he wasn't alone, that I was here for him, I would have said it but I had a lump in my throat, I knew I would break if I even tried to talk.

Daryl actually wrapped his arms around me, which surprised me a lot and once again he broke down, I felt how his body shook and I heard as he cried.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, letting some tears to fall down on my cheeks.

"We need to get back," he muttered, letting go of me. He dried his tears quickly and then started walking.

I sighed and then dried my own tears before jogging to catch up with him. I knew how he felt right now, I lost my own sister and saw her as a walker as well but I really didn't end it, and that was probably the hardest part of all, having to kill your sibling otherwise they would have killed you.

Daryl was there for me all those months ago when I felt like my whole world crumbled down to the ground and now, sadly, it was my turn to be there for him.

As we slowly walked back to the prison in complete silence, except for Daryl's sobs, I grabbed his left hand and intertwined our fingers, I gave it a squeeze and seconds later I felt him doing the same.

Hey guys, this was a very sad chapter. I really considered not killing him because I just love Merle and I wonder if the story would have been better with him still on it but now it's too late to change it.  
Who liked Merle? Many people disliked him but I think he's awesome.

So, my tournament is over. I was sick while I played it but even so I managed to win all my matches except for one, I got second, won a medal and $100 and I also qualified to the Pan Ams games in September, which was my goal of the year, going to that tournament, now I just have to train hard so I can play good there, still have some months to go. I'm really excited but I still can't feel like it's true, I guess I will fill it until they give me my uniform and the plane ticket :) Is someone here from Connecticut? The tournament is there.

And unfortunately I'm still sick, two doctors think it's a virus, a strong one. My stomach kills me, it burns and I get nauseas every day. I get headaches too and I'm very weak but that's probably because I barely eat. The only good thing is that I have lost like eight pounds, which I wanted to lose because I have trip in a bit less than a month. But I still feel like shit.

So, anyway, thank you for reading, and thanks for all the people that leave comments :) 3


	41. Chapter 41 - More Losses

"It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up.  
And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is.  
Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things."  
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

Yesterday after Daryl and I got back to the prison, Daryl immediately went to his cell, not wanting the rest to see him like that, so broken. He actually composed himself a few blocks before the prison came into view but he would feel too exposed so he avoided everyone and rushed upstairs, while I stayed to inform everyone what happened, some, of course, didn't look affected by the news but there were a few that did, including Michonne.

After that I approached Rick and told him I needed an extremely huge favour. I wanted to go for Merle's body and bury it in here, like Lori's, Teresa's and T-Dogs' bodies were.

Rick looked unsure at first but then agreed, it was the least we could do. He went for the keys and accompanied me to the place in the pick-up. We wrapped his body with plastic and then the two of us carried it to the pick-up and put it in the back.

Back at the prison, Michonne and Oliver had started to dig the grave and when we got back I grabbed a shovel and helped them dig a bit less than half of it but I wanted to be part of it, I wanted to help.

Rick and I laid Merle's body in the hole and all of us buried him, when all the dirt was back in place I almost ran to Daryl's cell. Sweat was running down my forehead even when the weather was cold but I couldn't run my hand on it to dry it because I was all covered in dirt.

"Hi," I said softly.

Daryl wasn't crying anymore and his eyes were only a bit puffy but nobody would have guessed he had cried only hours ago.

"We'll do a funeral for Merle," I informed him. "We'll all be out in ten minutes."  
"There's no need," he muttered, his voice was a bit hoarse. "Besides, there's no body."

"Actually – there is," I said with a small smile. "I went back for him, Daryl and yeah, we need to do this, he deserves it."

Daryl bit his lip, probably trying to stop himself from crying and then smiled slightly at me. He stood up and walked to me, stepping right in front of me, giving me the biggest hug he has ever given me.

"Daryl, I'm disgusting right now," I said, referring to my clothes covered in dirt. "You can hug me after I change."  
He let go of me but left his arms on either side of my shoulders, his small smile was there and just that little thing made it all worth it.

"You dug his grave?" he said it more like an statement than a question. "Is that why you are like this?"

"Yeah," I said shrugging. "Rick, Michonne and Oliver also helped."

"You didn't have to," he told me.

"I wanted to," I said honestly. "How could I leave him there? I'm not just doing this for you but also for him. He was nice to me on his own way. I'll never forget things he did for me. Anyway, I'll change and wash my hands and face quickly and we'll go outside, okay?"

"Okay."

First, I washed my face, hands and arms, the hair will have to wait, then I ran to my room, undressed, and put on a clean blue T-shirt and a pair of jeans, I didn't have anything black so this will have to do.

Then I ran back to Daryl's cell, walked to him and stuck out my hand at him, which he took and I helped him up, letting go of his hands afterwards.

We walked down the stairs and before walking out, Daryl stood in front of the door, trying to compose himself and not cry in front of people, he took a deep breath and nodded at me. I opened the door and walked out first.

"Cecilia?" he softly muttered.

"Yeah?" I said, glancing back at him.

"You are the best," he said, making me smile brightly at him and my heart skipped a beat.

"I try," I said modestly, with a slight shrug.

Even when the weather was cold, I felt warm because of that single comment and it made me feel happy, really happy, something I hadn't felt for a while.

The others had put two cars where the missing fence should be to stop walkers from coming in so we could do this in peace but all of them still carried guns and knives, everyone but me and Daryl.

When we got there, everyone was already there, even Glenn and Maggie, who were probably just here because of Daryl, not Merle.

Hershel nodded and got in front of everyone, right behind the freshly dug grave. He opened his bible and read some verses and then did a prayer.

Almost by the half of it, Daryl discretely grabbed my hand and gave it a squeezed, I looked up at him and couldn't help but smile, he wasn't even looking at me but at the grave.

And we stood like that, next to each other, holding the other's hand and nobody noticed, not even Carl, who kept glancing at us, probably figuring out that we weren't mad at each other anymore.

Unfortunately we only had a few minutes to mourn Merle, we had other things to worry about, Merle ruined the Governor's plans and killed many of his people, he was coming for sure, the Governor wouldn't leave this like this, he needed his revenge.

We needed to plan and decide what to do and quickly, we spent the rest of the day and part of the night doing that and we came up with an amazing plan that we hoped it would work.

The morning after the funeral I grabbed my backpack and filled it with my clothes and other few stuff I had. I put it over my shoulders and then grabbed the crossbow Daryl gave me and walked out of the cell, going straight to Carl's cell.

I leant on the wall as I saw Carl, sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at a picture. He finally noticed I was there and sadly smiled at me.

"You never showed me that picture," I told him. "Can I see it?"

"Sure."

I took the frame in my hands and saw the portrait of the Grimes family. Rick, Lori and Carl all had big smiles on their faces. I smiled at it just before handing it back to Carl, who put it inside his backpack.

"Come on."

I put my arm around his shoulders and together we walked outside to put our stuff in the car. We walked next to Rick, who tried to put a hand on Carl's arm and he just jerked it off, speeding up his pace towards the car.

"Carl, that wasn't nice," I whispered to him, but he ignored me, didn't even look at me. He was furious with Rick and I seriously had no idea why he was so mad.

The two of us joined Beth and we all put our stuff in the trunk of the Hyundai. Beth and Carl got inside the car in the back seat, Judith was already there. I stayed outside and leant on the car.

Rick wanted me to go with Hershel, Beth, Carl and Judith to take care of them. Hershel was an old man without a leg, Judith was just a baby, Beth could shoot and all but she was too innocent and not too accurate, but me being me, I wanted to be in the middle of the action, but as always Rick insisted and wouldn't let me even argue.

"I trust you," Rick said to me, putting his hand on top of my shoulder, I just nodded at him before he walked back inside, probably checking everything was alright and no one was left behind.

I looked to my left and saw my mum hugging Axel and then he actually kissed her on the lips, I almost puked at the sight. Oliver, who noticed, actually put his finger inside his throat, pretending to gag as well, I nodded at him. Sean, who was next to him, waved at me and I awkwardly smiled at him, I had been avoiding him since the last time he talked to me when Rick had to drag him out of my room.

Then to just not look at Sean anymore, I turned to look at the other direction and saw Daryl, sitting on the floor with his poncho on his hands. He looked up at me, probably sensing my stare and I smiled at him.

"Be safe," I mouthed to him, he only nodded at me.

I pushed myself off the car, opened the door and got into the driver seat, it was the first time I was going to drive this car and I was excited about it, it was the most I was going to do today.

Once everything was ready and Hershel was inside the car as well on the passenger seat, I started the engine and drove away from the prison.

The whole group was going to be divided in four smaller groups, us being the first and the biggest group. Sean, Maggie and Glenn were another, Rick, Daryl and Oliver were other group and finally Michonne, Carol and Axel were the final group.

Each group was going to be hidden in different parts of the prison, so when the Governor and his people run outside, hopefully chased by walkers, they are going to ambush them and shoot them.

We didn't need to go very far from the prison, actually. I drove the car into the woods, being extremely careful not to get stuck or anything.

Once we found a nice spot, we all got out of the car, with the exception of Judith, who was taking her usual nap. We put branches and leaves on top of the car so no one would be able to spot it and we hid behind trees and bushes and behind the car as well.

I sat with my back against a tree and with the crossbow in my hands. I also had my gun but today my weapon of choice was the crossbow.

"I didn't know you were good with it," Beth told me.

"I'm not that good," I admitted. "But Daryl had been teaching me. I thought it would be best to have a silence weapon in case I need to shoot someone."

"Well, I'm sure you had the best teacher," Beth said with a smile but soon it dropped. "Have you killed someone?"

I just looked at her, without saying anything for a while. I hadn't really thought about that night, I had preferred to avoid it and if possible, forget it because it changes you and not for good.

"Yeah," I whispered. "When we rescued Glenn and Maggie, people were shooting at us and it was like instinct kicked in exactly at that moment and I aimed my gun at them and shot and it was not until later that it dawned on me. That I killed people."

"I wish I never have to do that."

"I wish I never had to do that. I crossed the limit and I'm not sure if I can go back."

"I'm sure you can," Beth assured me.

"Right," I almost scoffed at her. "If anyone comes here, my task is to kill them to protect us and I can't have the luxury to hesitate, I think a part of my humanity went with those two men I killed."

About an hour and a half after we left the prison we heard something that startled us all, an explosion followed after another and then several shotguns.

When I heard the alarms going off, I knew the plan worked. They had gone into The Tombs, where we set up some bombs and there are walkers in that part of the prison. Soon I heard people screaming and I couldn't help but smile because the plan was working.

Not long after that we heard someone running into the woods, towards us, when we heard the person was almost by the car we stood up and came out of our hiding place and we all pointed our weapons at him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" he exclaimed as he stopped dead in his tracks. I almost gasped when I saw him, I recognized the young guy. He was friends with Chris and Amanda, I met him when I was in Woodbury.  
"Don't shoot," he exclaimed.  
"Drop the weapon!" I told him with authority, he stared at me for about five straight seconds, probably recognizing me as well. "Go on!"  
"Sure, here," he said taking a step towards Carl, holding his weapon down. "Take it."

The guy just stuck out his hand, completely giving up. Carl just stared at him with his gun aimed at him. I took a step, ready to take the weapon from him when the boy just fell dead to the ground.

All of us were in shock, Carl had just shot him. He was breathing hard, a bit taken aback by what he had done. I just looked at him unsure of what I should do, so I ended up doing nothing just like Hershel and Beth.

It had been a while since we heard gunshots so we decided it was best to go back. We all got inside the car and we drove back in complete silence, even Judith was very quiet today, Beth luckily fed her before she started crying just minutes before the shooting and she didn't cry after the explosions either, which was good.

When we got back, Hershel, Carl and Beth, who was holding Judith, walked inside while I stayed outside with the others.

"We did it," Rick said as he looked around. "We drove them out."

"We should go after them," Michonne told us.  
"We should finish it," Daryl agreed with her.  
"It is finished," Maggie exclaimed. "Didn't you see them hightail it out of here?"

"They could regroup," I told her.  
"We can't take the chance," Glenn said. "He's not gonna stop."  
"They're right," Carol, (as I had been calling her lately) said. "We can't keep living like this."  
"So we take the fight back to Woodbury? We barely made it back last time."  
"I don't care," Daryl said.

"What makes you think they won't come back?" I asked Maggie. "And when we last expected it, we should go now that they aren't organized and take them by surprise."  
"Yeah," Rick said nodding. "Let's check on the others first."  
We all walked inside our kitchen/dining room area. Rick wasted no time to hug his son, but Carl soon pushed him off and looked into Rick's eyes, who now was kneeling in front of the boy.  
"Dad, I'm coming to Woodbury."  
"Carl –" Rick started as he stood up.  
"Dad, I did my job out there," Carl told him. "Just like all of you. Took out one of the Governor's soldiers."

At that Rick first looked a bit shocked at Carl and then at me, it was my duty to do the dirty job, not Carl's. I wasn't sure if he was mad at me or not.  
"One of his soldiers?" Hershel asked, who was just next to us. "A kid running away? He stumbled across us."  
"No, he drew on us!" Carl exclaimed.  
"I'm sorry you had to do that," Rick told him.

"It's what I was there for."  
"No, that's why Cici was there for." Yeah, he was a bit upset at me.

"I'm going with you," Carl stated before he just walked away, leaving Rick really stunned.  
"Rick, I'm sorry. I –" I started but Hershel cut me off.

"That kid was scared," he affirmed. "He was handing his gun over."  
"He said he drew." Hershel just shook his head and I sadly did the same. "Carl said it was in defense."  
"I was there, he didn't have to shoot."  
"Maybe it looked like that to you, Hershel –"

"Rick!" Hershel exclaimed loudly. "I'm telling you he gunned that kid down. Cici was going to take his gun when he shot."

By the look on Rick's face, it wasn't that Rick didn't believe Hershel, who by now had walked away, but that he didn't want to believe him. Rick looked troubled, who would want to hear that his little boy killed someone?

"Rick, I'm sorry. I should have stood firmer, I should have acted quicker, I'm sorry," I exclaimed. I was still shocked about it because I loved Carl as my little brother and I hated what I witnessed back in the woods.

Killing those two men really messed me up, he was younger than me, what would this do to him? No matter how strong you are, it changes you.

"It's okay, it wasn't your fault," Rick exclaimed just before he also walked away.  
With a sigh, I left the crossbow on one of the tables and walked out. I wasn't ready to take the crossbow in a mission like this, for me it was a bit heavy and the least I needed was for my arms to get tired, so instead I grabbed my second gun that I left in my backpack.

This time we were taking the pick-up, since the Hyundai was still filled with our stuff, and as usual Daryl was going on his motorcycle.

"What happened to the crossbow?" I heard Daryl asking from behind me, I closed the trunk of the car and turned around to face him.

"I think I'll take the gun this time," I told him with a shrug.

"That's a shame," he told me, taking a step towards me. "You looked good with it."

"Well," I said, trying not to blush. "Looking good is different than shooting well."

"You're right, I guess you have that on your side. You look good plus you can actually shoot it." I couldn't help but smile at him, he smiled back but soon his expression turned serious. "Are you sure you want to come?"

"Of course!" I exclaimed. "I won't miss this."

"I would prefer if you were safe."

"Nowhere is safe now," I told him. "I can do this, Daryl."

"I know," he said nodding. "Do you want to ride with me?"

"Actually, I think I'll pass this time," I said with a small chuckle. "I'm still a bit scared of that thing."

"Alright." He chuckled too. "Suit yourself."

I leant against the car, next to Michonne, waiting for Rick, who was having a talk to Carl, most likely about what Hershel told him only minutes ago.

"If we survive this," Michonne started, turning to look at me. "I'm ready and willing to tell you about my walkers."

"Really?" I said, slightly smiling.

"Yeah." She nodded. "Seems fair, doesn't it?"

"It does," I told her, as Rick started walking towards us.

"Rick, we're staying," Glenn informed him. "We don't know where the Governor is, if he comes back, we'll hold him off."  
"Just the four of us?" Daryl asked. "All right."

"Actually, I'm going too," Sean exclaimed.

"Great," Daryl exclaimed, and I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or not.  
"I appreciate you staying," Rick told Glenn and Maggie.  
Rick walked over the driver seat's side and got in, while I walked to Daryl, who only raised an eyebrow at me.

"Make me some room," I told him.

He said nothing but did as I told him, I got on behind him and wrapped my arms around his torso. I knew he was wondering what changed my mind but I also knew he wasn't stupid so sooner or later he was going to figure out I didn't want to go in the car with Sean. Michonne got the front seat so I would be in the back seat next to him.

I knew I was being childish but I still wasn't feeling comfortable around him and I also got to be with Daryl, so it was a win situation for everybody, even when riding in the motorcycle still made me a bit nervous and feeling a bit insecure.

Daryl didn't go fast and I was quite glad about it. We were right in front of the car and I could actually feel Michonne's stares burning on my back, she probably had a tiny smirk on her full lips, probably already thinking how she was going to tease me about it once we get back to the prison, if we do.

Some minutes later we saw some vehicles in the middle of the road, the ones the Governor and his people used to go to the prison. Daryl and Rick turned off the engines and all of us approached the scene with extreme cautiousness.

There were bodies all around plus some walkers feeding on them, Daryl shot the first one and Michonne killed the rest with her katana.

We stood there for a few seconds when there was a noise behind me and Daryl, I wanted to scream but luckily I didn't, I just jumped out of fright, just like Daryl. Rick raised his gun at the woman that was inside the car, while Daryl opened the door, making the woman get out of it.

We checked if the woman had any weapons on her and after that she told us what happened. She said the Governor went absolutely crazy when people refused to go back to the prison and killed them all.

"We need to go for Andrea," I said without thinking.

We were going to Woodbury anyway, so we got back on the vehicles and drove there. The woman, called Karen, went in the car, next to Sean.

As the previous time we went there, we were going to hide behind a car, right in front of the main gate of the town and just as last time there were people guarding it and before we could hide they spotted us and started shooting at us.

I ran as fast as I could to hide behind the car, then got on my knees and started shooting just like all of us were, except the woman, who stood up.

"Tyreese! It's me! Don't –"

"Get down!" Rick exclaimed as he pulled her down.

"Karen! Karen, are you okay?" I heard a husky voice yelling.

"I'm fine!" she exclaimed as she stood up again.

"Where's the Governor?"

"He fired on everyone. He killed them all."  
"Why are you with them?"

"They saved me!"  
"We're coming out!" Rick yelled as he put his gun away, Daryl just shook his head at him. "We're coming out."

Rick stood up, raised his arms in surrender just like Karen. Michonne and I followed his lead, putting our guns away, Daryl didn't, but he came out, when he saw none of us were holding our guns, he shook his head in defeat and quickly raised his hands as well, seeing he had no other way.

The man opened the gate as we walked towards it, and we saw another woman coming into view and as we stood right in front of them, I couldn't help but feel like if I had seen them before.  
"What are you doing here?" he asked us.

"We were coming to finish this until we saw what the Governor did," Rick admitted.  
"He... he killed them?"

"Yeah," Rick muttered. "Karen told us Andrea hopped the wall going for the prison. She never made it. She might be here."

Surprisingly the pair let us inside quite easily, there was no one out in the streets and we were able to make it all the way to the place where we found Glenn and Maggie the other time, without being shot.

"This is where he had Glenn and Maggie," Rick said.  
"The Governor held people here?" the man, called Tyresse, asked in disbelief.

"He did more than hold them," Daryl told him.

We turned a corner, with our weapons raised. The end of the hall wasn't a normal wall or even a door, it was a piece of siding and right underneath it, there was a puddle of bright red blood, meaning it was fresh, my own blood froze at the sight of it.  
"Will you open it?" Michonne asked Rick as we stood right in front of the blood, Rick and Michonne were the first, Daryl and I were right behind them and Tyresse was behind us all, still in a bit of a shock with the news of the Governor. As we came here I discovered Tyresse was part of the group I saw running out of the prison one night, I only saw him and his sister plus two other people for a few seconds so I didn't really remember them.

I glanced at Michonne and by the way she looked I could tell she was feeling and thinking the same thing as me. I couldn't help but think we were going to find Andrea's body in there.

"One," Rick started counting as Daryl got to the front, next to Rick, with his gun raised, just like Rick's. "Two..."

Rick kicked the siding door, making it loudly creak. Inside I could see a dead walker in the middle of the room but then right next to the blood, I could see two bare feet.

"Andrea!" Michonne exclaimed as she ran inside, closely followed by me.

The two of us bent in front of her, Michonne held her in her arms, making her sit straight. Soon, Rick also bent in front of her, being in between Michonne and me.

"I tried to stop them," Andrea told us.  
"You're burning up," Michonne exclaimed, getting really concerned.

Andrea sighed, then brought her hand up to shoulder length and slowly grabbed her shirt and sweater and moved it to the side, revealing a huge bite in the crook of her neck.

I gasped and felt myself feeling dizzy, not at the sight itself but at what it meant. Andrea wasn't going to survive, the fever had already hit her.

Rick looked away and rested his head on his hand for a few seconds before looking back at Andrea. Michonne put on a strong face but it was obvious what she felt, it was written all over her eyes and actually just a few seconds later that strong face vanished. Her lip started to tremble as she tried hard not to cry.  
"Judith, Carl, the rest of them –"

"Us," Rick interrupted her quickly. "The rest of us."  
"Are they alive?"

"Yeah, they're alive." At that she smiled and then turned to look at Michonne.  
"It's good you found them," she told her and then turned to look at me. "And you finally found your mum too. I'm glad you found them all again."

My heart broke even more at Andrea's words, if only she knew we couldn't be worse at the moment. But nevertheless, I found my voice and muttered a vague "Yeah."

"No one can make it alone now," she added, putting a hand on top of mine, but she looked at all of us as she did.  
"I never could," I heard Daryl muttering, I turned to look at him to find him looking straight at me.  
"I just didn't want anyone to die," Andrea told us, making me look back at her. "I can do it myself."  
"No!" Michonne exclaimed quickly.  
"I have to," she said. "While I still can." Michonne finally broke down, and tears fell down her face. "Please?" Andrea muttered, looking at Rick, who said or did nothing for a while. "I know how the safety works."  
Rick, knowing there was no other choice, put the gun in Andrea's hand and that's when I finally lost it and started to cry silently.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere," Michonne told her.

She looked at Michonne but said nothing, knowing there was no point in arguing now, she barely had the strength to talk to us now. Then she looked at all of us, lingering her gaze on each one for a few seconds.  
"I tried," she muttered.  
"Yeah," Rick said.  
"You did," Rick and I said at the same time.

After that, Daryl walked out of the room, Rick stood up and left as well. I took a deep breath and I grabbed Andrea's free hand with both of mine.

"Give me a moment," I said to all of them. Rick nodded and closed the door, making it creak once gain.  
"Don't lose hope, Cici," she told me.

"I won't," I assured her. "Andrea, I can't let you do this without telling you something."

"What is it?"

"Well, I'll go straight to the chase, okay?" She weakly nodded at me. "Daryl and I are together."

"What?" Michonne exclaimed in shock but Andrea just smiled at me.

"You were right all along," I said with a smile, but tears came rolling down. "I like him and he likes me. You were always right and I was too stubborn and stupid to not see it."

"No," she said. "You were just scared but I'm happy for you, for the two of you."

"Thanks," I said. "I just had to tell you."

I gave her hand a final squeeze before letting it go, leant forward and kissed the top of her head, trying really hard not to cry right now. I stood up and opened the door, walking out.

"Daryl?" I heard a faint and weak voice saying a bit louder than before, probably using most of her strength.

Daryl stood up wasted no time in rushing inside the room, walking past me. I stood by the door, but didn't go back in.

"About damn time," she told him. "You have no idea how happy I am for you."

Daryl was a bit shock, so that meant the people outside didn't hear me. Daryl said nothing to Andrea but when I turned around I saw him flashing her a small smile and nodding, before he walked out again and closed the door.

I took some steps away from there and just stood in the middle of the hall, my back facing everyone else. Some tears were rolling down my face but when I heard the gunshot I completely lost it.

I felt myself falling down on my knees and I wasn't caring anymore about being silent. The only time I hadn't cried silently like I usually do because I hate people noticing and looking at me crying, was when Sophia died.

Soon after that, I felt strong arms around my body, soft and big hands running up and down my back, trying to comfort me. I cried even harder as Daryl moved to be in front of me and I buried my face in his chest, Daryl just held me tighter.

"Let's get out of here," Daryl muttered into my ear, I nodded at him.

He stood up, grabbed both my hands and pulled me up effortlessly and once I was on my feet he put his arm around my waist and led me out of that horrible place.

So, recently I was reading the average length of a book, I took for example the Harry Potter books and some others, and I never thought I would reach the word count but I actually double it, a bit more than double it. And I decided I should split the story, it's just too long and people might get bored, so I guess the end of this part will come soon. I already have a cover, sort of, but not a title yet, I would appreciate if you all could comment giving me ideas, maybe something similar to the title of this part, like hanging on or something along the lines. I used to listen to songs and take the titles but I haven't done that for a while and I like coming up with my own ideas for it but it's always the hardest for me, so I would really appreciate some help :)

I will also try to work on a trailer for this, it's already started but I haven't had the time to make any video recently and my inspiration is just gone :( I don't know what to do to get it back :/


	42. Chapter 42 - Remembering a Hero

"It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness.

We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace."

Chuck Palahniuk, Diary

It was not until the next morning when we finally could make it back to the prison. Everyone that stayed there, ran out to meet us, probably being worried sick all night about about us, thinking we didn't make it back last night because we were dead, captured or injured.

I got off the bike and glanced behind me, seeing the pick-up and a school bus stopping behind Daryl's motorcycle.

After Andrea's death and her burial, Rick actually offered Tyresse, his sister, Sasha and Karen to join us and come to the prison with us and they all accepted. Daryl proposed to bring everyone that wanted to come to the prison with us and Rick agreed with him.

Tyresse, Rick and Karen explained to the people there all that happened, including Andrea's death, who became a popular and very liked woman in Woodbury after Michonne and I escaped the place, now I understood a bit more why she couldn't just leave, those people admired her and looked up to her.

Every person there accepted to come back with us. Most of them though, were old people or kids that weren't able to fight. All the men and the strongest women were made to attack the prison the day before and they were killed by the Governor after they retreated.

The prison was big enough for all of us, we were going to give them another block and let them settle there.

I was so used to being in a group smaller than twenty people that for now I just felt a bit uncomfortable with so many people around but I knew we can't be alone in this world, the more of us, the stronger we are and I would get used to them too.

"What is this?" I heard Carl asking his father, as the people started walking out of the yellow bus.

"They're going to join us," Rick informed him, resting his hands on his hips.

By Carl's face I knew he wasn't happy with the new events that were taking place and seconds later he stormed away but everyone else seemed okay with it. There was hope in everyone's eyes, the people from Woodbury and my own group. Today was a good day.

Hershel smiled and pat Tyresse' shoulder as he passed by him, obviously being happy the man was well and back at the prison.

"You alright?" Daryl asked me.

"Yeah," I said, nodding but didn't look at him. "Still a bit sad but I'll be alright."

"So," he said with a small smirk on his lips. "You told Andrea about us?"

"You have no idea how much she used to tease me about you after the farm thing," I told him with a smile. "I just felt like I needed to tell her that her suspicions from the very start apparently were correct."

"She teased you, huh?"

"You have no idea," I told him. "Always said that I liked you and that you liked me and stuff like that, even got the idea into Michonne's head, she kept saying she wanted so bad to meet you from all the things Andrea used to say about us."  
"Well, I'm glad you told her," Daryl admitted. "She seemed genuinely happy."

"I'm sure she was."

"Maybe we should tell the rest soon."

"You sure you are ready for that?" I asked, being completely shocked by his statement. "What if my mum goes completely crazy and tries to kill you?"

"Well, it won't be the first time a crazy woman tries to kill me." He chuckled and I just raised my eyebrows at him. "Besides everyone will find out sooner or later."

"Michonne already knows," I told him.

"I figured," he said. "I imagined you wouldn't like whisper it in Andrea's ear so Michonne wouldn't hear you."

"Right," I said with a chuckle.

"Let's help people get settled in and organize stuff and then we can discuss how we are going to break the news."

"Alright," I said with a smile before Daryl walked inside.

We also brought some stuff back from Woodbury, including a lot of food. Even if Daryl would manage to find a deer and kill it, it wouldn't be enough to feed everyone, so we brought as much as we could plus some medicine and personal hygiene stuff, like tooth paste and lots of soaps.

I turned around to go inside and as I made my way there I saw my mother, who was leaning against the door. I took a deep breath and walked there, nevertheless. I stopped in front of her and looked right into her eyes.

"Andrea died," I informed her. I was actually pretty sorry to interrupt this happy moment with such terrible news but I actually needed something to tell her and I was too proud to just say hi, so I used that as an excuse to talk to her, truth was that I missed my mum and being okay with her.

She looked down at the ground, deeply saddened by the news. She sighed and composed herself quickly, not allowing any tear to fall out of her icy blue eyes. She looked up at me again, looking just like she did before I told her.

"How?"

"The Governor locked her inside a room, I don't know exactly what happened but a walker was inside and it bit her," I told her, leaving out the fact that Tyresse later identified the walker as Milton, she probably didn't even know who the hell Milton was and I wasn't in the mood to explain. "We got there just in time to say good-bye."

"I'm sorry to hear that, are you okay? I know you two got quite close during the last months."

"Yeah." I nodded. "At least I got to say goodbye. Well, I'll go inside."

It wasn't easy getting everything and everyone organized, we spent most of the day doing that. Luckily there were enough cells and beds for all of them in another block and we managed to keep block C all for ourselves. I was actually really glad we didn't have to share our personal space with strangers.

After lunch I went outside to keep helping, there were still some boxes inside the pick-up and we wanted to finish before night.

"Cici?"

I turned around to see a young, redhead girl some feet away from me. She waved at me with a smile, I just smiled back at her because I was holding a big box and couldn't wave.

"Hey," I said to Amanda. "I'm glad you're alright."

"Can't believe we are meeting again," she exclaimed.

"Are your brothers here?" I asked, wanting to know about Wayne and Chris, the boy that kind of befriended me during the few days I spent in Woodbury.

"No," she said sadly. "Actually they were part of the group that attacked your people, they were the perfect age and all, they didn't have a choice. I think they were in the group the Governor murdered."

"I'm sorry to hear," I told her, being really saddened to think the two of them died. "But Chris couldn't even know how to hold a gun, why did they take him with them?"

"They made a list of people that were capable of fighting, they taught people how to shoot. You knew how Chris was, he didn't want to go, Wayne was more eager to learn, though."

"What about your dad?"

"He is here, he's not well, though. He has a nasty cut from some days ago, that's why he was allowed to stay. Anyway, did you find your group? Your mum?"

"Yeah, I was extremely lucky to find them," I told her with a smile.

"Who's your mum?" she asked me excitedly.

"She has short grey hair and her eyes are just like mine," I said. "Her name is Carol."

"I think I saw her when we first came here," she said. "Well, I better not keep you here any longer, that box looks a bit heavy, need any help?"

"Sure, we need to take these boxes to a room inside the prison."

Amanda took one small box in her hands and followed me inside, I showed her the way and we put the boxes on a shelf. Maggie, Glenn and Beth helped as well with the boxes and the supplies we got.

"Guys, this is Amanda," I said as the five of us were all inside the room, we had just finished getting everything inside and we were a bit tired, especially me because I didn't sleep at all last night. "I met her before I found you guys. Was one of the few friends I made while I stayed in Woodbury."

I wasn't really sure if I could call Amanda a friend but that word would have to do. The other three told her their names as they shook her hand and soon she established a conversation with Maggie and Beth.

I knew Amanda and Beth were going to get along quite well because they were almost the same age, Beth being seventeen and Amanda was eighteen, plus Amanda was a really bubbly and friendly girl.

Before night fell I went to Carl's cell, I leant on the door, looking at the young boy, who was facing the wall, with his arms cross in front of his chest.

"Hey," I said in a soft tone.

He looked at me and flashed me a small smile but said nothing to me, I sighed and walked in. I sat next to him on the bed and put a hand on top of his right arm.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing," he muttered.

"They won't kill us, Carl. They were scared and we helped them. I'm not completely comfortable with having so much people in here but having more people can get in handy."

"Having more people only means losing more people." I sighed. "I heard about Andrea."

"The Governor is a really sick man, Carl. That doesn't mean everyone else is too."

"Where is he?"

"We don't know," I admitted.

Carl turned around so now he was laying on his back and he was facing me, for once the Sheriff hat he always wore wasn't on his head, but on a table next to his bed.

"So, that means he can attack us at any time," he stated. "Why didn't you look for him?"

"We did, he's just gone. He killed everyone that came here and attacked us, we suspect he's alone."

"But you are not sure."

"I want to kill him, Carl. I want him gone as much as you and everybody else do for what he did to Glenn, Maggie and Daryl, and for killing Andrea, Teresa and Merle," I muttered. "And for what he did to our home but we can't let hate consume us and change us, we can't lose our humanity and become something close to what he is, a monster."

"So, what do we do?"

"We move on," I told him, grabbing one of his hands with mine. "We have to be careful and not forget he's out there and not in his right mind but we must keep living, okay? I don't like looking you like this, Carl. Do you remember when I came back?"

"What part exactly?"

"That thing you told me," I muttered. "That we couldn't afford being upset at someone because we are not sure when we are going to lose them?"

"Yeah."  
"Well, you should follow your own advice and not be angry at your father, he's doing the best he can to keep us all safe and I believe he made the right choice by bringing them all here," I told him. "I'm at the moment very angry at my mum, I always am, right? And I hate it because sometimes I feel really lonely. Do not make the same mistakes I've done, alright? Don't mess things beyond repair."

"Why are you always fighting with your mum?"

"I guess I haven't completely forgiven her for everything she has done and then she does something not that bad and I just can't help but get mad because I need an excuse to fight with her, I don't know, maybe that's why, I'm just still hurt and she doesn't give me enough time to heal, she just deepens the cut, anyway," I said quickly, not wanting to talk about my complicated life with Carl. "There are some cute girls in the group from Woodbury, maybe you can find someone."

"Yeah, right," Carl said rolling his blue eyes, but I did manage to get a shy smile from him.

"What? It can happen!" I exclaimed, poking him in the side, making him slightly jump. "You are almost a teenager, you'll start liking girls soon if you haven't liked girls already."

"Just shut up, Cici," he said, covering his face with his hands. "I don't want to talk about this."

"So, it's not nice to talk about your love life but it's completely fine to discuss mine and even locking me inside a room with Daryl?"

"It's completely different!" Carl exclaimed, sitting up. "You are older than me, probably had at least a boyfriend before this and it's obvious you two like each other. It was just part of the C.A. Mission, but as you know not all fights are won, I should have thought it more thoroughly, maybe it would have worked if I had done something different."

"You are right, I had three boyfriends before this but that doesn't make it any different!" I exclaimed. "And as you know, not all fights are lost."

"But this one was, but I won't give up, just so you know," he said with a smirk on his lips.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that," I said with a similar smirk.

"About which part?" he asked confused.

"The first part," I told him and he just raised his eyebrows at me.

"What are you trying to tell me?" Carl asked me.

"We were just pretending, Carl," I admitted, letting myself smile. "We made up when you locked us in, we shouted at each other for a while, yes, and it got a bit intense, but that helped because I found out what was bothering Daryl and I apologized and we are good now."

"Hmm, that's good," Carl said proudly. "See? My plans are always the best."

"And," I added, looking down at my hands and then looking up at Carl again. "And, we kind of kissed... you know..."

"What?" he yelled at me, his mouth was wide opened in shock. "You ki..."

I quickly leant forward and put my hand over his mouth to stop him from yelling that, nobody knew except Michonne and I didn't want the others to find out this way. I brought my index finger from my other hand to my lips and told him to be quiet and as I did he actually bit me.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, dropping my hand before examining it. "I hope you don't infect me or something."

"Come on, that was nothing!" he exclaimed with a laugh. "I have more odds to get infected with something because your hands are so dirty."

"Nobody told you to bite it!" I shot back.

Not having a come back quick enough, Carl just stuck out his tongue at me and I did the same soon after he did, then I proceeded to ruffle his dark semi-long hair.

"So," he said, turning completely serious after some time of just goofing around. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"You locked us in there for hours, I was upset, plus we weren't feeling that comfortable about sharing the news so quickly, you saw my mother days before that, she went crazy."

"Why were you upset? You should thank me!" he exclaimed, waving his hand in frustration. "If I hadn't done that, you wouldn't be together now."

"Thank you," I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes while Carl just gave me a look.

"When are you telling the others?"

"Tonight or tomorrow, I don't know yet," I said. "We didn't want to tell people so soon but with everything that has happened, it's best to just say it and not keep secrets."

"What do you think the others will do when you tell them?"

"I don't even want to think about it, especially my mum's reaction."

"I agree with you," he said. "So, Cici, how well does he kiss?"

"I'm not discussing this with you!" I exclaimed, standing up and making my way out of the room.

"Oh, come on!" Carl exclaimed, standing up as well.

"You're too young for this, you said it yourself."

"But –"

"Bye Carl!"

I walked out of there and went to my own cell before Carl could say anything else, leaving him frustrated with my lack of will to share that with him, it would be extremely awkward to talk about that with him, maybe I'll just wait for him to be a few years older so it can be less awkward but for now, it's a definite no.

So far Michonne and Carl were the only ones that knew about Daryl and me and both were completely fine with it, actually they were happy about it, making me extremely content but I wasn't sure who else would react as good as they did.

Maybe Beth and Maggie and Glenn would react well, just maybe. I wasn't too sure about Rick, Hershel, Oliver and Sean. I didn't give a damn about Axel's opinion and I knew my mum wouldn't take it well, so Daryl and I had to be really careful with the way we tell them all, we should find the right time and the correct way to tell them.

Speaking of him, I had barely talked and seen Daryl today. We had all been busy with all the new people living here.

I stood up from my bed and headed to his own cell but he wasn't there, I looked around the hall and the kitchen but couldn't find him either, I decided to take a look outside and if I didn't find him there then I would just go back to my cell.

I opened the door and slowly scanned the place in front of me, I spotted Daryl by the fence, he was on his feet, being completely still. I wasn't sure if he wanted to be alone or if I should just join him.

Being there for maybe five minutes I finally decided to make my way to him, luckily he turned around when I was about twenty-three feet away from him, probably sensing my presence or with the magnificent ear he had, he probably heard me.

"Hi," I said as I took the final steps to stand next to him.

I looked at him and he seemed extremely sad, I could even swear he had cried a bit. I bit my lip, knowing I wasn't good at comforting people, especially Daryl, who, at the first bad move, he just pushes you away.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

Daryl took a deep breath, lowering his head and then brought his hand behind his neck in a nervous matter, but then he turned to look at me, straight into my eyes for a split second before he looked at an specific spot in front of us.

"I just miss him," he muttered sadly. "I can't believe he's gone."

"I miss him too," I honestly said. Merle was Merle, he was an asshole and a bastard but he had a good heart and he was one of the bravest people I had ever met. "He died as a hero."

"I know," Daryl whispered sadly but then he smiled a bit and let out a chuckle. "Who would have imagined, huh? Merle being a hero."

"He let Michonne go and he gave us a chance," I said, trying not to cry because now it was my turn to be strong for Daryl.

Daryl once again looked down at the ground and out of the corner of my eye I saw him bringing his hand to his face. I discretely looked at him and saw Daryl wiping some tears that had fallen out of his eyes.

That reminded me of that time when Daryl was informed that Merle had been left in that rooftop about a year ago and he acted all though but he actually cried in front of everyone at the thought of losing his brother, the only person he had then, and now he had actually lost Merle.

Daryl looked up again and fixed his eyes on that specific spot, I looked in the same direction and now I knew what he was looking at, Merle's grave.

"We never had the best relationship, he was gone most of the time but he was my brother, he took care of me in his own way. I just... I just wanted some more time with him," he told me, not stopping looking at the grave. "Just have the chance to do stuff, you know? I really wished he had died knowing about us... let him know that pushing people away is not always the answer."

I felt my heart breaking at his words, I knew how he felt because that's why I told Andrea last night, I couldn't afford to let her go without telling her and that's why he wanted to tell the rest.

"He knew, Daryl," I whispered softly, making him look at me with an eyebrow raised. "He did."

"How? You told him?" I shook my head at him.

"He was a very observing and smart man," I said. "He figured it out. He told me when we were uh..." I stopped quickly not wanting to tell him we were looking for drugs. "Just the two of us in there and he said we couldn't fool him, he saw it in your eyes."

"That son of a bitch," he said letting out a small laugh. "He never told me."

"He also said that he could tell you were truly happy and he was glad about that," I said, remembering one of my last conversations with Merle.

"He really said that?" he said shocked.

"I was surprised too," I admitted. "Even back at Woodbury he said he approved of me, that I kind of had his approval to be with you."

I chuckled at the memory and Daryl actually smiled and chuckled as well as he shook his head in amusement.

"I'm quite surprised to hear that. Merle used to think we didn't really need people to be happy. We grew up without any kind of love so he actually believed all kind of relationships were just... a waste of time," Daryl said. "Said we only had each other and even then, he sometimes said our own relationship was a waste of time."

"And you believed that too?" I said, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah, all I knew was broken families, broken people. I was broken myself," he admitted. "My family never showed me otherwise and everyone I met just proved me over and over again that Merle was right."

"I know, I used to think like that too."

"But then the dead started walking the earth and I was shown that not everyone is empty and cold," he told me, looking away from me. "We have actually helped and cared about each other. We've worked as a team and that's what has kept us alive. This group has showed me that... that there is hope in humanity after all and thanks to what you told me for his final heroic act I know that Merle didn't die without actually caring and knowing that people do care and that letting people in is not always a bad thing, I'm glad he started to understand that. "

I miss Merle :(

So, this might be the last update for two weeks or so, well, three, counting this week. I go away for two weeks to Florida this Saturday, I might update so you have something for the time being but can't make any promise :P  
And I might go to the new TWD attraction in Universal that opened yesterday:) still don't know but that would be cool.

Anyway, as always, please comment & vote :)


	43. Chapter 43 - Together

"We have to dare to be ourselves,

however frightening or strange that self may prove to be."

May Sarton

Daryl's POV

Three days after we came back from Woodbury I woke up really early, even earlier than I'm used to. I walked outside and saw one of the most beautiful sunrises I had ever seen, filling me with hope and positive emotions for the day.

I had so many things in my head that I just couldn't go back to sleep, even when I still was a bit tired and not well rested.

Not long after the sunrise, I saw Rick walking out of the prison as he normally does, just to check everything is in order inside and outside. He waved at me and I waved back.

I had been wanting to discuss something with Rick for the last three days but I hadn't found the right time, especially now that we brought back so many people and our hands were a bit busy and I had chickened out as well, finding excuses to prolong it and not having to talk to him but now it was just us, the perfect moment to discuss this and I couldn't help but feel really nervous about it, which was so strange for me.

I waited for Rick to approach me, I knew he was going to walk close to me sooner or later and I decided that if no one else wakes up by the time he comes here then it's my sign to tell him.

As Rick kept doing his usual round around the fence and every minute coming closer and closer to me, I glanced at the door over and and over again, half wishing someone to come out of it would be my sign to not say anything, but no one did come out.

"Hey, Rick!" I exclaimed when Rick was only a about five feet away from me. I walked towards him, shortening the distance between us, feeling my heartbeat increasing a bit and my hands started to sweat.

Rick started a normal conversation, first asking how I was and then speaking about the people from Woodbury and the Governor, who had disappeared from the surface of the earth for now.

"Hey, are you alright?" Rick asked me, noticing I kept fidgeting and playing with my fingers, habits I never do.

"Actually I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Alright," he said, standing up straighter in front of me and nodded at me, in a way to tell me I had his full attention. "What is it?"

"It's uh, it's about Cecilia." I bit my lip nervously but soon stopped, I was never like this.

"What about her?" he asked and I could sense the slight nervousness in his voice. "Is she okay?"

"She's fine, she is. No need to worry about her." I sighed. "Look, this is not easy for me and I actually feel really embarrassed by doing this but I feel like I should."

"Just tell me, Daryl."

I glanced down at the ground for a few seconds, sighing again. I had never felt so insecure about something and never really discussed anything like this with anyone, so I was in unknown territory, feeling so... vulnerable. I looked up at Rick again as I built up as much courage as I could manage.

"I like her, Rick," I told him, his eyes got bigger for a second or two before he composed himself again. "And we are together, like, together together, ya know?"

"Oh."  
"I wouldn't be discussing this if she were... you know, a few years older and if her mum wouldn't be so against the idea of us being together, even being just friends," I said. "I tried to ignore what I felt because she's just a girl and once I realized they were too strong to just pretend they didn't exist I still couldn't help but feel it would be wrong but..." I sighed. "But it happened and I just wanted to tell you because we were thinking about telling the others, wanted to know your opinion first."

Rick just looked at me in complete silence until he looked away, put one of his hands over his mouth and rested the other on his hip and then he took a very deep breath, making me even more nervous about this, thinking he was just going to tell me I was a sick bastard for being with someone so young.

"I never expected this, to be honest. I mean, yeah, I noticed stuff and all but never thought it would actually happen, I don't know," he told me. "Honestly? If she were my daughter, and I love her as if she were, I wouldn't like her to be with someone probably twice her age. But..." he said, giving me a bit of hope. "Out of all the men here, I would rather her to be with you than anyone else."

"Why?" I asked him very surprised.

"Because I know the real you and I trust you. I can't even compare you with that friend of hers, Oliver or Sean or anyone else. I know that if she were in a trouble they would bolt to save their own asses but you would sacrifice yourself, I'm sure of that, like when you almost died trying to find her," he told me, taking a step closer to me. "Besides, I think there are other more important things to worry about these days than an age gap."

I nodded at him, because he was right. All the old laws don't apply anymore and what it mattered it doesn't matter or exist no more. Then Rick put his hand firmly on my shoulder as he looked into my eyes.

"If you find happiness in this world, Daryl," he said. "You better cherish it, because you don't know how much it's going to last. Happiness and joy are two things pretty hard to find, even more than before and I think you are extremely lucky if you find them and actually allow yourself to experience that."

"So, you are okay with it?" I asked after a short pause, not knowing what else to say.

Rick flashed me a smile and nodded at me, making me feel like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. He let his hand drop to his side but he kept his gaze fixed on me.

"But like I said, I love her as my own daughter and if you hurt her in any way, I'll hunt you down and make you pay for it, understand?" I nodded.

"I won't hurt her, Rick," I assured him.

"I know and that's what I meant about you being the best for her."

"Ho – how should I, uh, should we tell the others?" I asked, stuttering a bit.

"Just go straight to the chase," Rick told me, he was completely serious but then he smiled and a small chuckle left his lips. "And be sure Carol isn't holding a gun or any weapon for that matter."

"Good idea," I said with a big sigh, I knew he was just joking but I couldn't laugh along with him, fearing Carol's actual reaction.

"Just in case, I'll be close to her. Just give me a sign so I can know."

I thanked Rick and as I did I saw Cecilia walking out of the prison with my old crossbow in hand. Rick smiled at me knowingly, pat my shoulder and continued to walk next to the fence, checking everything to be okay.

Soon a redhead girl, probably as old as Cecilia, joined her. Cecilia smiled at the girl and they exchanged a few words and I could tell by their body language that this wasn't the first time they were seeing each other, they had already met before.

Cecilia loaded the crossbow and then raised it, and a few seconds later shot at the same target we used the first time I took her here to practice. The other girl looked shocked, it seemed Cecilia's aim has improved a lot, she hit the target on her first try, I guess I'll have to move the target farther away from her and draw a smaller circle to challenge her.

"Don't drool, okay?"

I snapped out of my trance and saw Michonne smirking at me, I was so taken aback and embarrassed to be caught like that, I couldn't even come up with a good come back.

"Goddamn it, woman! Don't scare me like that!"

With a grunt I walked away from her and as I did, I actually heard her chuckling. I ignored her and just kept going, preparing myself for the day.

As expected, we didn't have much free time, with so many new people that wasn't a surprised. They were all confused and scared and usually asked for assistance but others usually looked for Rick or me to ask how they could help, some of those people were Tyresse, Sasha, Karen and a young guy called Louis, he was a couple of years older than Carl.

So, we all assigned them temporary jobs, including keeping guard, now we had about three people up watching around and the shifts didn't last more than an hour or two.

Four days later, when we found more time and things were more organized we even made a reunion to discuss about what to do with the food and the supplies. The people present were Hershel, Rick, Carol, Glenn, Maggie and I.

Just as Rick wanted to do even before all the Governor drama, he proposed to fix the fence so we could grow crops, we had enough space to do that and maybe plant some vegetables that didn't take that long to grow.

About four of us, including Maggie, who knew a bit about seeds and crops were going on the run, Glenn was obviously going as well.

We also arranged another run to check some places for canned food, we had enough food for about a month but we needed more, just in case of an emergency or something unpredicted, like the Governor thing.

We were going to inform the rest of the people about the runs and if anyone volunteers, then they are welcome to join us, as long as they have skills and can defend themselves or at least run fast, so no less than half of them were discarded.

Luckily two men offered to help fix the fence even before we talked about it, they said that was their job before shit hit the fan, we just needed to make a nice plan to kill the walkers that were already in, keep others from walking inside as they worked in the fence. We should discuss that and soon but now it was already too late to do something about it, the sun was already going down.

I didn't have the chance to spend much time with Cecilia today or any of these days but at dinner I managed to sit next to her, the red-haired girl from earlier was on her other side, talking about something I wasn't paying attention to.

Neither Cecilia nor me had had the courage to tell the rest of the group about us, a whole week had passed since I told Rick about it, I wanted to tell everyone so I can finally get that off my shoulders but I didn't know how.

Rick had told me it was better to do it soon, that the two of us would feel better if we just get it done but we keep postponing it over and over, always saying 'tomorrow will be the day' but seven days had passed and tomorrow hadn't come yet.

I decided it was better to just do it and get it over with so before we gathered here, I told Cecilia I was going to tell everyone about us, I already said I was going to do that but didn't and she didn't seem too convinced I was going to do it but when I assured her I didn't want to keep delaying it, she looked a bit scared but she nodded at me.

So, when I tapped her shoulder after we were all done she knew exactly what that tap meant, she nodded at me and heard her taking a big breath. Before standing up, I glanced at Rick and nodded at him, he nodded back, he stood up and casually stood close to Carol like he told me he would, she coincidentally was next to Carl, so Rick just pretended he needed to say something to Carl and nobody suspected anything weird was going on.

Suddenly I wasn't feeling as nervous as I had been all week or when I told Rick, at least I had his approval, I didn't give a shit about the other's opinion, except maybe Carol's, because she was Cecilia's mother and I knew that no matter how much Cecilia hated her, her opinion will always matter to her.

Rick told me to go straight to the chase and I wasn't good with speeches anyway, so that's what I was going to do, thing I should probably have done when I told Rick, I was so nervous it was even ridiculous, I seemed like a teenage boy informing his parents he got a girl pregnant, that wasn't like me, so, without giving more thought about it, I just stood up and looked at everyone in the room, they all looked back at me, wondering why I had just stood there looking at them and not walked somewhere.

"Cecilia and I are together," I said loudly and thanks to the light from some candles I could see some of the expression from the people.

Cecilia looked a bit shocked about the way I told them, it wasn't the most subtle and gentle way but I finally told them, it was done now and it was better to just not keep going in circles, they were going to be told eventually anyway.

The girl next to Cecilia, whose name I keep forgetting, gasped, Carl didn't look surprised but he smirked at me, that boy locked us in that room almost a couple of weeks ago, I was sure he was going to be on our side. Glenn had his mouth wide opened, letting himself drop on his plate a piece of bread he was eating, gotten from Woodbury. Hershel's face was expressionless, so I wasn't sure if he was okay with this or not. Hershel was a man of morals and always stood by them and his beliefs, he probably believed this was wrong.

Axel, just looked down at the ground in an awkward way. Maggie looked a bit stunned but didn't look upset, Beth didn't either. She actually smiled when she recovered from the shock. Oliver and Sean didn't look that happy, though, especially Sean, but I didn't give a damn about them either. Michonne just smirked at me the same way she did when she caught me staring at Cecilia a week ago and when she caught Cecilia pecking my lips when we thought we were alone two days ago, she already knew, she and Andrea were the first people to be told about it and I knew that, but I didn't care about all of their reaction as much as one person's, Carol.

It wasn't that she was more important to me than anyone else in the group but I knew she was against us even before we got together and I was seriously fearing she was going to try something, I knew Cecilia was a bit wary of her as well.

Carol didn't say or do anything for a very long time, her face gave no emotions away. I knew she wasn't happy because of what happened days ago but if nothing had happened then, I wouldn't be sure what she was feeling right now.

After a very long awkward silence, Cecilia stood up and held my big hand in hers, in a supportive way. None of us liked displaying affection in public, that was obvious but this time, it felt okay, it felt just right.

"You don't have to like it," she told them. "You just have to accept it."

"I ship it!" Carl muttered, probably louder than he intended, drawing the attention to him.

Honestly, I had no idea what the hell he meant by that but by the grin on his face I could only assume it was a nice thing, and somehow it helped to defuse the tension in the room.

"When did this happen?" Glenn asked, finally closing his mouth.

"The day Carl locked us in that room so we could fix things," Cecilia answered him. "So, just uh." Cecilia made a short pause to count the days with the help of her fingers, stopping holding my hand in the process. "Eleven days."

"I thought you were still mad at each other until the Woodbury thing," Oliver exclaimed.

"We pretended that we were still mad, wanted to keep this a secret a bit longer," Cecilia once again answered. "But after Andrea and Merle died and knowing more of us could die at any moment we decided to just tell you."

I looked at Carol once again but still her face was expressionless, I wasn't sure if I should be relieved or scared, maybe she was silently trying to find the most painful way to kill me.

Soon, everyone exited the room, the redhead girl, going back to the other block with her people. I was going to leave the room when I noticed Carol was still in there, I stopped myself and walked towards her, wanting to make this right for the good of all.

"I can't stay away from her, Carol," I admitted as I stopped right in front of her, she just looked up at me. "I promise I won't hurt her, actually, I'll try my hardest to keep her safe."

"She's my little girl, Daryl," she muttered. "She is all I have left."

"I know and I'm not taking her from you, I'm just... asking you to share her with me," I said, trying to find the right words. "I know this must be really hard for you, I'm just a too old man for her in your eyes, but I want to tell you that I care about her, now that Merle is gone, she's the most important person in my life and I'll do whatever it takes to keep her safe."

Carol just nodded at me but still she looked angry, since everyone left her face finally showed some emotions, including anger.

"Just give me a chance," I told her. "You have no idea how important your approval is to Cecilia."

"I know," she exclaimed. "That's why I controlled myself earlier but that doesn't mean I approve."

"Will you ever do?"

"Let me tell you something, you may not see it and she may even not know it herself but she's very damaged, Daryl, I guess I have some of the blame, she will break down one day, just like that day back at the farm when she wanted to kill herself and you have to be ready when that happens and you have to know how to handle it."

"I'm sorry, Carol, but what does that have to do with this? You already told me you think she's just a broken and fragile girl."

"These last few days I realized I can't stop her from being with you, it's her choice and I'm not sure if I'll ever approve but that means that I won't be there when it happens, when she finally breaks down and even if I am, she'll rely on you and I don't want to lose the only daughter I have left so I trust you'll be there when her facade comes to an end and she falls down."

"I won't let that happen," I assured her, trying to control my anger. I hated how much this woman underestimated her own daughter, she may be a bit damaged but we all were, that didn't mean she was going to break as she said.

"She wanted to kill herself that day when the farm was overrun," she told me. "Andrea told me that as soon as the last car got out of view she fell down on the ground and pointed her gun at her head, if Andrea hadn't stopped her she would have done it."

"She was scared, cornered. Who wouldn't think of ending it in that situation?"

"None of us did."

"I told you the other day and I'll tell you again, Cecilia is stronger than you think and you should stop thinking less of what she is," I stated, starting to get angry. "Anyway, I came here so we can talk about Cecilia and I and make this right, mostly for her sake."

"I love her and I just want the best for her," she told me. "And I also want to make things right between us and if that means stepping aside and letting you be with her, then I will, just because I love her and I don't want to keep pushing her away and lose her for good."  
I didn't know what happened between them but I knew things were bad right now. I knew they were worse than usual when Cecilia mentioned something about Carol and instead of calling her mum, she said Carol. She noticed and tried to cover her slip up, calling her mum afterwards and talking really fast, sign that she was nervous.

"Whatever you did, Carol, I know you'll earn her forgiveness if you work for it."

With that I walked out of the room, leaving Carol alone in there, being extremely satisfied with how this evening turned out, better than I ever expected. No one yelled at us or said how immoral our relationship was, not even Hershel, who at the end seemed like he wanted to object and Carol didn't shoot me or stab me, which was a nice surprise, she actually acted quite civilized in front of people but still angered me by what she said to me about Cecilia.

The good thing was that she admitted she was going to step aside, let us be together and just swallow her pride because she loved Cecilia, thing Cecilia had been wondering lately, I knew, even when she hadn't actually said it with words.

Before going to my cell, I stopped in front of Cecilia's. She was already sleeping. She was lying on her stomach and her left hand was hanging from the bed, her fingertips barely touching the floor.

I walked towards her, smiled at how peacefully she looked and then leant down and kissed the top of her head. I pulled the covers higher than they were, the night was pretty cold. I walked out of there and went to my own cell, mentally promising myself that no matter what I was going to keep her safe, I couldn't lose her too. I already lost her twice, I wouldn't bare to lose her a third time, especially now that Merle is gone.

I just knew that things were going to get really hard and we will have to overcome many, many things but no matter what, we were going to succeed them all... together.

Okay guys, this is the last chapter of this book. I can't believe it, I'm quite surprised and feeling a bit melancholic but yeah, this is the end... for now.  
I have more chapters written, lots of them, so don't worry, the sequel will be out soon, I just need to think of a good title for it, and I will be gone for two weeks because of my trip so, yeah but I hope you all enjoyed this part, Daryl and Cecilia finally accepted their own feelings and got together and I'm really satisfied with the fact that the very last chapter was written on Daryl's POV, I love to write on his, probably because it's such a challenge, Daryl is such a unique character and I have such a hard time to understand how he feels and stuff and sometimes I think I don't really capture his personality and feelings but I hope you still like it :)

So, as I said, this is the end, I usually take a month to start a sequel, just to have a little break but I think this time I will only take these two weeks or maybe three. I would love to read opinions or ideas for the new title, everything is welcome. I like to keep my titles short, two to three words.

And please don't unheart/unfavourite this, I will be posting the link of the sequel on here :) And most importantly thank you all for your incredible support, all your reviews, comments, opinions, messages and votes (Wattpad) and hearts in Quotev, and the amazingly high number of follows/favourites in Fanficion. net, all of you have been amazing and thank you for that, it does mean a lot.  
I seriously never thought I would write a story like this, I never thought I could. I struggled sometimes but somehow I made it work, sort of :P I started this because someone thought I should and I decided to give it a try and surprisingly it has become my longest story with so many more words than the rest of my stories, and I feel like because of this story I have progressed a lot as a writer, and I thank you for being with me on this journey! :) I will be back soon, adios! :P


	44. Sequel!

Hello guys! I'm happy to announce the first chapter of the sequel is up! Thank you for waiting for the sequel and I hope you like it!

Here's the link for it:

s/12073684/1/Barely-Alive-TWD-Daryl-Dixon

Or you can check my profile, because for some reason my links don't work on here :(


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